Mental Health & Me: Pregnancy & DID
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- I open up and talk about my pregnancy journey whilst having dissociative identity disorder. Please be aware of obvious triggers about childbirth etc but I’ve tried to ensure to keep every description as vague as possible 😊
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i have DID and my wife linked me this video when i had doubts about being a father, and i cant tell you how much this meant to hear
That’s so amazing! Honestly my advice would be try and listen to all of your parts and make a plan on how you’ll work together to make sure the baby is always first, make sure you also have “time out” time when you need it and get support for someone else to have baby every now and then just for an hour or so so you can recharge your batteries, and learn all about bonding and attachment and make plans to implement them as best as you can! We’ll be rooting for you!
hermesHerald I don’t know either of you of course but I just wanted to say how beautiful I think this interaction is. Seeing people just help each other,it’s such a rarity anymore. Just genuinely a beautiful moment and I’m also rooting for you guys!
Also don't be ashamed to refer to a child psychologist with your wife to help navigate it!
❤❤❤
Your wife really is an amazing woman
My Mother has DID. She wasn't diagnosed until I was in High School, and I remember after learning about it it made so much sense.
But this didn't impede her ability to be a good parent. Growing up she was the best mother and even now we are still close. Every part of her loved her children. For her the issues she dealt with as a child ended up driving her to be the most loving parent she could be. I'm very thankful to have been raised by her.
VegaDenebAltair peace & best wishes to you and your whole family
This made me cry, such a beautiful story. I feel like most parents without any mental or physical illnesses are automatically seen as good parents no matter if they truly are or not, but sadly with people who have illnesses its vice versa.
I love this comment. How beautiful
Do you only see one alter as your mom? Or do any of the alters view you as their kid as well?
Thank you for this. I have DID and I’ve always wanted to be a mother and hearing from a child of someone with DID who says their parent did a great job just... gives me so much hope ❤️
"you're not a bad parent if you allow yourself time to rest and recuperate when you need to"
Say it louder for the moms in the back!
Easier said then done. Eventually, you have to let someone help
I feel this is important for any and all moms, regardless of any mental issues. All moms need to remember that taking some time and recuperating after having a baby is really the best thing for all.
And for their judgemental mother in laws! Lol jk, but really.
Say it louder for the mums that are so sleep deprived and exhausted they can barely hear a thing
I replayed that part 3 times. I needed to hear that SO much.
I'm a new mom to a 4mo baby boy. I've also struggled with depression since I was a kid. I feared being a parent for so many reasons. I didn't want to be a "lazy" mom (for the days when the depression is so bad I can't get out of bed) but those are the days I DO get out of bed to make sure my son is taken care of. (Fed. Changed often. Not bored. Make sure he's burped properly) But then there are days when Im so exhausted I have a hard time with even those tasks. That's when I bring him upstairs with a bottle and a burp cloth and hand him to Grandma so I can rest. It's so hard to not feel like a burden to her but when I talk to her she says I'm doing the right thing and shes proud of me. ❤️❤️❤️
I love that your husband screamed "fuck off" as his term of excitement. Relatable.
It's so perfectly British.
Me to !! Not a lot of people get that ! I do ! 🙋♀️
@@Roadent1241 it really isn’t British lmao it’s very common
@@BigCityyDreamsx Tell the Americas that hear that reaction that XD I've never heard that be a term of excitement from an American.
I've heard it as 'go away' but....!
Yassss
Jess, to Eevee: "I love you!"
Eevee: "aaaiilah oooo"
Me: crying, actually crying "YES YOU DO LOVE HER EEVEE. YOU DO BECAUSE JESS IS THE BEST MOM. YOU HAVE THE BEST FAMILY. I NEED A HANDKERCHIEF."
Me too, exactly
What a smart kid!!!! Holy smokes!
I was like OMG THERE'S AN EEVEE?! SOMEONE FIND A THUNDER STONE!
I did, too! (I’m not crying, you’re crying)
I know babies can't talk, but I swear she sounded like she said "I love you" at 13:20
Justine Glickman she said it like 3 times!!!! It was the cutest thing.... EVER!!!
I’m not crying, you’re crying 😭
Lily Brummett im gonna disagree as i remember when i was quite young, i understood what was being said and would sometimes try to respond but what cane out were the noises a baby makes, i think that it takes time for the brain to learn how to control the body and talking being one of the most complex things we do is usually last for that reason
@@crasher925 I thought memory only started at around age three? you really remember being a baby that young 🤯
I am not really a baby person, especially since I can't have them due to my chronic condition. But that is one of the cutest and happiest babies I've ever seen and I think this kid is the luckiest kid in the world
Gaz's reaction to the pregnancy test was EVERYTHING--I laughed, I cried, I adore him more than ever. Such a fantastic guy! The world needs more Gazes, for sure.
He’s a precious little oddity that I love with all my heart ☺️💗
@@MultiplicityAndMe I can see why! Funny, kind, empathetic, handsome--what's not to love?
For the record, he's just as lucky to have found someone as incredible as you. I admire your relationship so much, and both of you as individuals. Thank you for being such amazing role models.
Oh I agree Gaz is awesome a real one is a million guy and Jess I very lucky indeed.
Totally my reaction, too! The look on his face when he saw it, then when she said she's pregnant...
Ikr I loved his reaction lol
Jess: sleep is incredibly important for your mental health
Me, watching this at two am: oh.....
Me too!! It’s 4:21am right now 😩😩😩😩😩
im using this as an excuse not to sleep
Me reading this at 3am: oh....
Watching videos this late at night is not good for us. We already have DID and about 40+ alters. We do not need more mental issues 😅~Feyre Archeron/Jax
2:05 am here
You know whats going to happen when Eves older dont you? Shes going to watch this back and get all embarrassed from her baby photos/videos but then shes going to smile because of how proud of her mum she is! X3
This was lovely and although Im autistic, not DID, I felt like it gave me hope and confidence to hopefully one day have a child of my own! So thank you for this Jess and well done to all of you! CX
The same information applies to autistics! Just like any parent we can be good or bad parents, and yes you should take your symptoms into account while planning everything but a lot can be dealt with. I'm autistic and got PTSD, but won't be having children, but that's due to my physical illnesses taking away all my energy. Do take into account any sensory sensitivities when having a child, because a child is loud and smelly. But a lot can be supported with helpful devices like earcaps. I know multiple autistics who have children very succesfully. In my opinion they are even better parents than most, because they know what it's like to be different, and will accept their child for who they are.
I'm autistic and I have a son! 😊 ❤️
I’m autistic too, but I’ve been noticing symptoms of DID?
Do not let a label stop you doing anything! I’m autistic and have a little girl and I’m also training to be a nurse!
Im not gonna lie, you had us in the first half there
But you brought it back around 💞💞
It is actually heartbreaking to find out that people think someone with DID shouldn't have a baby. My mum has DID and has been the bestest mum I could ask for. Has always been caring and there for me and I have NEVER felt uncomfortable around her. So yes, people should stop telling people what they can and can't do with their lives.
Honestly! If they JUST educate themselves, they'll realize people with DID are the actual victims. They know what it's like going through a shitty, traumatic childhood . They would hate repeating the same actions what their abusers did to their own children! I believe any people who went through any shitty childhood know what's right and wrong to do with children since they've been one. But theres always cases where the child absorb violent behaviours from their parents hence repeating the cycle. It just sucks.
I do understand why some would be doubtfull or scared about someone with a mental illness becoming a parent, it's natural. The thing is, you have to consider all criterias and not just one, mental illnesses are just one part of a person's life. Someone with DID who doesn't have a stable relationship and a partner capable of helping them, or whose system is not stable yet, I would be doubtfull and cautious about them becoming a parent. But a system like Jess' one, who is in a stable relationship, with a great partner, a house, a stable enough system, alters that have a good communication and that for the most part are as responsible as Jess, I had absolutely no doubt about her and the system being good parents.
@@Yourlocaltrashgoblin also that could be alters with agression some persecuters could be agrresive also having many toys would be all time trigger for litlles
“Oh boy, I hope it’s a hamster!” Gaz you child! 😂
Genuinely no idea what he expected 😂😂😂
I have DID and I'm a mom of two girls. My first pregnancy was unexpected, I was told I couldn't physically have children. I personally never minded being pregnant and sex with my partner wasn't where my PTSD created problems. It was when doctors would try to touch me. My fiance was the only person I had EVER trusted with my body, my mind, my life. So to have these random people touching me, even though I knew I needed it, it brought a lot of flashbacks. I have horrible needle phobia and would dissociate terribly or pass out entirely during times where they were involved if my alter didn't come out fast enough to catch me. The men were the most uncomfortable, though they were gentle and understanding, it was still strange and new and uncomfortable for all of us. When it came time for birth, it became apparent that I was going to be a danger to myself and baby, because I panicked, wouldn't let doctors touch me below the belt, screamed and cried and reflexively pushed them away. So I was put to sleep and had a c-section. My second birth, I was awake, but very dissociated, my protector came out and walked me through it, the doctor said it was so bizarre that I went from full blown panic to calm, understanding, and just waiting as they took her out (they didn't know I had DID so my alter just chuckled). My eldest is now 3 1/2 and my youngest turns 1 in about a week. I have had them mostly to myself 24/7 while my fisnce works. I like to think I'm a good mom. We have had no issues. The alters love them as I do. The men grumble a little bit when they hear "mama mama" but take it in stride, my boys are amazing to my kids and I love them. My fiance comes home to help me when I get too overwhelmed at times. Toddlers are a mess. Anyway, that's my story. 💕 people with DID CAN have children if they want to. I should've had more help, and I did deal with a lot of painful trauma after the birth of my first. But we've all pushed through and made it here. Our system is ever closer due to my girls.
@Al Za how exactly does children's sensitivity stop me from having them? Being "messed up" doesn't stop me from seeing that, quite the opposite actually.
@@zellhound156 I don't know what he or she said but I know u are a great mother ur kids are lucky to have u
I love how chatty she is! She seemed to understand the rhythms and cadences of short sentences from mere weeks of age and you were having full conversations with your 6 week old!! That was so lovely! Xxx
Did our absolute best to stimulate her from day one and keep her brain busy and active ☺️ so pleased you noticed her chattiness!
@@MultiplicityAndMe I think you are clearly doing an amazing job, though I'm not at all surprised, Jess, youve always been an amazing protector for your littles and and a more than effective protective host for your system, so why not take on the role of a temporary protector for 9 months then external protector and teacher for your own little girl?!!😚❤ that is you as Jess.
I'd love to hear about parenting as a system, but I assume that everyone is supportive and puts eevie first as part of an agreement or compromise or system rule? Or is there harmony for the most part so everyone does so willingly anyway? you said you felt more grounded with her, did the hormones maintained by breastfeeding effect how much you tended to dissociate day to day and change when you weened her off and onto solid food? Or were there other changes?
I'm not surprised by your success Jess, but I am thrilled for you and I am relieved to see you looking so happy; I'm sure that hasn't been constant and confidence hasn't been constant either, but both are exactly what you deserve copious amounts of, sweetheart xxxxxx go forth trusting in yourself and your love for your clever little girl and wonderful husband and All Will Be Well, just as it should be for you, my love xxxxx
It literally sounds like she’s saying “I love you” I can’t believe it!!! She’s beautiful 💖💖
Babys can hear and recognize the voices of their parents by 16 weeks development! Its amazing!
Part of my job is to assess parental infant interactions and promote positive brain development, I genuinely could not have wished to see a healthier well developed mother baby interaction. It truly made my heart happy!! Babies absolutely understands the ebb and flow of conversation and are programmed to take part, it is a beautiful thing to see
“No, fuck off” is the most British reaction to a pregnancy reveal I’ve ever seen and it’s brilliant 😂
no one:
not a soul:
literally zero people:
my baby fever while watching the clips of Eevee: 💕💕💕😭😩❤️✨✨💓💞💖💕💕🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💞💓💕
SAME. 🤣🤣🤣
Same!!!! our daughter will be 2 at the end of this month and baby fever is making us re-think having 2 kids 5 years apart 😂
For real!! I have been 100% committed to fostering and adopting when the time is right for years now but I’m pretty sure my ovaries exploded watching this video.
me too, op
*Me too*
Hello, I'm applying for the baby fever club 😂
My 11 month old son literally crawled over me when he heard sweet Evie laughing. He was mesmerised by another baby on my phone!
"fnoooo! fucxk off!" is the best reaction to a pregnancy test ever. lol
Arianna Santina the i hope it’s a hamster was what got me lol
@@buttonsphoenix102307 well i was laughing at that bit especially because if he had said it in any other tone-- like the words themselves if you read them without knowing his tone when he said it you would be like "oh my god, thats a horrible thing to say to your wife when you find out.... lol
Yes
as a teenager I used to cry when I thought about a baby that smiled at me in public because I used to think I could never be a good parent because of my mental illnesses and disorders. I'm not entirely independent and rely on other people to be able to thrive and be as healthy as I can be, and I used to mourn the family I thought I could never have because I was so frightened that I would somehow damage my children if I had any. I used to tell everyone that I don't want to have kids, but deep down I knew that I wished for them more than anything. and now, years down the road, I'm getting the therapy I need and the medication I need, I'm in a stable environment both financially and relationship wise, I'm doing better than ever and I have started to think about being a mother in a different light. I truly believe deep down that I can be a really good mother even tho I will never be able to do all the things a "healthy" person might be able to do. But I will be able to provide so much else, and I have started to see myself not as lacking, but as bringing different things into a relationship than someone else would, and I've started to accept that. it's videos like this, and people like you, who have made this change in my own mind possible, who took away my fear, and reassured me. seeing you, it's clear beyond any doubt in the world, that you are the best mother this sweet little girl could ever have. and so I want to thank you from all my heart, thank you for being you, for being brave, for being a wonderful person and a wonderful mother, and for sharing this with us. Thank you
I wish you good luck for the future and i'm sure you'll be an amazing parent!
The fact that you're even concerned about your mental situation and how it will affect being a parent shows to me that when it happens, you're going to be a great parent. In my experience, it the parents that assume they're going to do great or just don't think about being a parent before it happens, that fall short.
I really feel for you in this comment miss bellina. There's so much I want to say but I'll try to keep it short. (Key word: TRY) Having a family is important to me too and as someone with some major mental health issues I thought that if I were to have a child I would mess them up through accidental neglect. my mess of a brain can take me out of reality a lot if i'm not in a stable place. I've been working with an amazing therapist, who is also a mother, for four years now and shes made a wold of a difference in my life. In the early days I made a passing comment about how much I've always wanted a family but that it wouldn't be good for the kid to have me as a mother. I didn't think much it but she definitely latched onto it. I can confidently say that while I'll never shake any of this stuff, it's now possible to see a very clear picture in my often very foggy brain. (Something I genuinely didn't think was possible five years ago) as you said, I can now see that my experience could ultimately make me a stronger parent. I can pull from my experience and the things I didn't get as a child (emotional support, conversations about mental health, ect...) that could only help my future child become a stronger and better human. I feel like this paragraph is basically a poorly worded copy of your comment but my point in even sharing this is that I feel you and you're by no means alone in that feeling
I know its cliche and years ago I would roll my eyes if someone said this to me but truly, you come out stronger from every hardship you face. This stranger is very proud of the work you've clearly done and I'm sure you'll only continue to grow! I know this comment is 6 months old but I hope you're doing okay in this crazy time. You're going to be a great parent when the time comes!
Much love! Megs
Thank you! I have OCD and worry about if I will be a good mom because of it. You gave me some hope
Wyn can't even be the one to comment on this video because entertaining the idea of being a mom freaks her out. She wants it, but she doesn't think she can be a good parent because of physical and mental disorders. This is an incredibly inspiring video and gives her a lot of hope. Thank you
it absolutely shatters my heart to hear she's worried about not being able to be a good mum, there's no doubt in my mind she would be an absolutely incredible mum, as the rest of you would be incredible caregivers too! sending so much love to all of you
Let her know that you never feel ready for a baby until you have one LOL. Everyone just figures it out as they go along and everyone has those fears. 😊
I think Wyn would be an awesome mother, and the other alters would pitch in and help.
I'm sure I'm not alone in this: Wyn would be an amazing mom!!!
I think we all agree that Wyn and the rest of the Entropy System is capable of having a baby. You guys are incredible! I understand though that sometimes you are at where you are at. We will be with you as supporters online whether or not your system decides to have a kid! It is up to you. No one can make that decision Wyn, except you, your system, and Andrew. But you guys are incredible and ready for whatever challenges life throws.
I am 9 weeks and 4 days, my boys are handling it great so far. I'm worried about our "littles"
Georgie 8
Malakai 16 (he has a younger mental age due to communication and development issues so we class him as a little)
Georgie rarely fronts unless he sees a positive trigger (boats and dinosaurs)
Mal fronts frequently but has agreed not to force front unless absolutely necessary. Mal doesn't know that I am pregnant, he just thinks I am sick and very sleepy right now.
The older 2 Buddy and Luca are handling things better than expected.
Luca has an eating dissorder and a lot of dysphoria but gods love him he has written up a healthy pregnancy eating plan for us to follow.
Buddy is always like a little mother hen and is looking after everyone.
I'm not sure if everything will stay as positive throughout our pregnancy but so far I am so happy to have my little internal family!
They are not only helping me and each other but they are helping my partner so much as well.
Thank you for your amazing content and sharing your journey with us.
Much love from all of us in the Vargr System ❤️❤️
Hey darling, how are you doing so far? :)
Awww I found this so lovely to read, I’m glad all is going well for you! Congratulations and I hope it all goes perfectly!
@@jukaamira8275 hi my lovely, I've just noticed this reply, I'm now 20 weeks and baby is doing fantastically
The boys are continuing to work their magic and help keep everything together even when I'm hormonal and over emotional.
Its times like this that I feel thankful that I have them to rely on ❤
@@kitandkaboodle8218 hi! Have you told Mal yet, how are they doing and do you know more about their feelings towards you being pregnant?
@@susannemoseidbryhni9898 mal made the decision at the start of the pregnancy to integrate with myself. It was a very brave decision for him to make but he and buddy felt it would be for the best. We had a couple of wobbly weeks whilst that was taking place and we're still not 100% used to it yet but it was the best thing for the both of us.
The others are still doing great and helping out when life gets too much, especially with everything going on in the world at the moment a lot of it has been very triggering for myself so they've been amazing in stepping in.
I really hate it when people say only mentally healthy people can have kids. Like my future children are my main motivation in life and what keep me going and I have severe depression
I think that people who work on healing are very deserving of having children
Don't listen to them! Being mentally "sick" can bring (if you are stable etc.) a HUGE advantage to the table. Not only do your children profit from your experience and knowledge but I think there is a deeper understanding to the human psyche and what damage can do to it, so either a desire to "break" the cycle and/or the wish for your child not to suffer through that. I think just learning the validity of mental illness is a huge plus. Growing up knowing mental illness is not something to be ashamed of and that it's okay to get help. All those things. Also the feeling of being different and telling your child it's okay to be so can prevent struggle especially during teenage years. Personally I think as soon as the desire to not affect your child in a negative way is there, and you follow through with it (e.g. no aggressive outbursts against your child, so even though they might know about those struggles and understand that it's hard to keep calm, they also know that this kind of behaviour is not okay. But still it shows them that everyone struggles with something and that that is okay. It's okay to struggle and to get help, to be down and to be happy, it's just a part of life kinda.) your child starts to profit in a huge way! And not just in the mental health department but in life in general. Having a "sensitive" (understanding) parent is one of the best things to have and it's no secret that people suffering from mental health problems offer that to a huger degree (I'm not trying to put healthy people down and obviously it doesn't apply to everyone, but for healthy people it's really easy to forget that not everyone feels/thinks like them and can act accordingly so the expectations set are usually way higher and lead to an internal struggle within the child when they feel like they can't live up to those expectations and are disappointing the parent. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with phrases like "just be happy" "just do something fun than you're not sad anymore" "why can't you be like this ---?" "Why can't you be normal?". So I think most people suffering from mental problems would have a deeper understanding of the situation at hand). You can do it, I believe in you ♥️
"mentally healthy"
“Don’t breed”
Me: *visible confusion trying to comprehend how ignorant some people can be*
I feel like the people saying that to others are the one's who shouldn't be passing on their ignorant views to children.
Well, i would agree not to have children if you pass down a harmful disease or chronic illness to your offspring . Not having biological kids is okay, there are other ways to become a parent. DID is not hereditary so i don't know why people would tell her that.
Wtf they talk like people are fucking animals beneath them jesus christ
Sad Cena as someone disabled from chronic illness and pregnant, i hope you realize that's eugenics. not only that, but it's none of your business whatsoever. it's disgusting that you would even consider saying such an ableist thing in a public space.
It's even worse for people like me who are on the Autism Spectrum and have ADHD which are both primarily genetic. I've had people I liked find out and turn me down JUST b/c there is a risk that children might be "like me"... so I don't have a right to exist?! Thanks...
I'm a midwifery student and I am so glad that you made this video. This is something that is only barely gone through in our education. I will strive to always take to account the mental health of my patients and to truly accommodate every single person as an individual.
This is truly wonderful! Thank you for being a stigma-busting midwife! Any mum with mental health concerns will be so lucky to have you there for them ☺️💗
You sound like an amazing midwife. Thank you for seeking additional learning past your course. Especially about mental health.
Im curious what Jamie, Ed, Jake, and Ollie’s first reactions were to meeting your baby for the first time face to face? Any chance there could be a video about that?
That’s what I was hoping would be covered. Like how everyone else reacted to this, or switching while pregnant.
Omg the part where she said "I love you" back I died 😭😭😭😭😭😭
"Oh boy, I hope its a hamster!" God I've never related to someone more than Gaz at that moment lmfao
You’re a brilliant mom, don’t ever doubt that x
That’s so kind of you 😭 thank you
I know it’s not the same, but my mom was abused badly as a child and she’s been nothing but the best mom to my brothers and I. Trauma does not make a bad parent and your children will not hold it against you if you have bad times because they know you love them. Just thought I’d put that out for anyone who needed to hear from a child of a parent with intense trauma.
I appreciate this thank you 💛
When I was 14 I was told by my doctor I'd likely never have children, when I was 19 I was told I had an ASD and decided maybe it was for the best that I couldn't, and by 23 I'd developed sexual repulsion so the chances went down even further... But watching your videos brings me just a bit of hope that at least someday, maybe I could adopt and still be a good parent. Thank you jess x
Just wanted to say, I’m asexual and I never see myself being in a sexual relationship only a romantic one, if you decide to adopt or foster kids instead of having a child through pregnancy then that’s equally as valid and important, if you choose to adopt you are no less of a mother then if you are a mother through pregnancy. Genuinely I’m more interested in adopting then pregnancy. If you choose to have kids either way, I bet you’ll be amazing!
@Brocoli that happened to my aunt and now i have 2 cousins
Aleisha Barrett adoption is precious! my mom has an asexual friend who had her son through ivf, there's lots of options!
I was just diagnosed with D.I.D 4 days ago, and you have helped me IMMENSELY! Thank you! I am so thankful that you have been able to express yourself.
How are you doing?
Oh my gosh, your baby is so brilliant. I've never seen a newborn nearly vocalize an entire sentence!! She almost completely said, "I love you"! What an amazing old soul!!
Trauma related mental illnesses aren't genetic, they're literally caused by trauma so if you don't traumatize your child they probably won't get it, and DID doesn't just instantly remove all parenting capabilities, so I don't understand why people think they can get into your business. It's your life❤
It actually extends even further since traumatised parents will have a way better understanding of what can cause a trauma ("healthy " parents might traumatise their children without knowing what their actually doing and what their behaviour triggers). I do have a lot of mental health problems, one of them being a disorder caused through trauma and my parents don't even know that it's a trauma and that one of them caused it because to them it's "not that bad" and I'm just "oversensitive" (which I, related to that topic, probably wouldn't be if that wouldn't have happened, funny enough)
Were her first words “I love you”? Holy shit that’s adorable!!! You know a baby is in a good and loving home when those are their first words.
“Oh boy I hope it’s a hamster” WHY WAS THAT SO FUNNY
I have DID and I've been happily married for 15 years with four kids!! How dare someone make you feel so badly! My oldest daughter, 18 years old, showed me this video! I love your channel by the way! Huge fan!
I have borderline personality disorder and some days literally my daughter is the only thing that keeps me going, having children shouldn't just be for the mentally well and healthIy people.. I feel blessed everyday to be a mother.
Not Funny this is speaking AS somebody whose parents seriously fucked them up. In fact, it's because of how they were to me, that I try every single day to be the exact OPPOSITE of them. Just because somebody has a mental health disorder, does no necessarily mean they automatically should have the right to parent taken away. I could be very angry at the world, but I keep on top of my medication, and keep my mind in a positive place. Not everybody with BPD is off the rails, that may be you, that may not be you, that may be how others are. That may not be how others are. My point is my child really did save me, she's my whole heart in human form.
{} not to be rude, you don't know me, you don't know my life, you can't just assume you know what's going on with me.
@@calicoathena trauma for life from a loved one with bpd
Sarah Green to be honest people with BPD destroy alot of other people. Not all of them do and certaintly not with intent but alot do. Make sure your daughter doesn’t end up developing BPD herself. My husband has immense amount of trauma from his BPD mother.
Marie marie where’s the statistics that prove it?
I would love to see the boys reaction to the birth of Eevee and their relationship. Especially Ed and Jaime since they are already amazing parents to three wonderful children. I also wanted to take this opportunity to show through my comment the appreciation and bravery that Jess and the rest of the Multiplicity&Me system showed to us. I will continue to support your system and stand by the goal of ending the stigma of DID, parenting with DID, and other mental illnesses.
Much love and support from a new patreon ☺💕
Oh my goodness thank you Maria 😭 that’s so lovely of you! You really didn’t have to! Your comment was lovely enough! 💗💗💗
@@MultiplicityAndMe I wanted to show my appreciation for everything your system has done to help educate me about DID and how to start ending the stigma on mental health. Your system along with @Dissociadid and @Piñatasystem have helped me. So thank you for sharing your journey with everyone of your followers and supporters. 😊
The little clip of you telling your husband you were pregnant is literally the single cutest thing ive ever seen in my life, second only to your baby herself 💛
Id be interested in hearing the boys talk about the baby and their experiences
I love that he said “no fuck off” that was the best! You guys are wonderful parents! 😘😘
I'm curious how long it took for the boys to come forward and meet Eevee after birth.
I think she said in another video she didn't switch for like 6 weeks after she was born
@@phoenixphyre1885 why ARE u speaking for someone else?
@@carlasuannelockett1694 I'm not speaking for her, I'm relaying something she said
carla lockett uhhhh they said “I think...” that means any information after that bit may not be true and it’s up to the reader to actually take it into their own hands to look it up. Not everyone religiously follows certain channels, sometimes TH-cam just recommends something. So a regular viewer filling in a newer viewer shouldn’t be an issue to somebody unless they are genuinely speaking for, or saying things that are blatantly just not right.
@@nevadag606 that's ur opinion just like it's my opinion that u don't speak for anyone else(UNLESS THEY SPECIFICALLY ASKED U TO!) BUT THAT'S HOW TF I WAS RAISED! CAN'T CHANGE IT AFTER ALMOST 42 YEARS!)
She is so precious! I can relate, I have CPSTD, bipolar and few other issues. My daughter is 13 now. While I was pregnant with her most if family tried to convince me to abort then when it was too late for that, they wanted me to put her up for adoption. I was told people like me have no business raising children. My father went so far as to give her to the state while I was getting help for my depression. Told children's services I had abandoned her. Took 3.5 years to bring her home. Shows how much they know, my baby is an honor student while playing sports all year. Yall got this 💜💙💛
What your family did is despicable (especially your father’s actions)! I am so happy that you got her back, and so sorry that it took years to get her back. You didn’t do anything wrong; as a matter of fact you were getting help for yourself, and thus your baby. I’m glad that despite your father’s actions (kidnapping a baby and lying to the government) you two have thrived. Sorry that this is so long, and out of nowhere! I just couldn’t scroll past your comment without saying anything. Let me know if this is out of line - judging things like that are not my forte (I’m autistic)!
I'm super interested to know what the boys' relationships are with the baby--do they help with the care and raising of her, or is it often just Jess? Do they sort of see themselves as fun uncles, or do they consider themselves fathers as well? How is Ollie dealing with no longer being the youngest one in the household?
Thank you so much, btw, for being open about your experiences, I'm glad the whole system has been positively received by your birthing team!! It's so important to be visible, and as a singlet, I'm glad to see y'all living your best lives.
Emilia: That’s so cute how she repeats back “I love you” so well.
I have 2 children who are 12 and 9 now and was just diagnosed with DID this year at 35. I feel like everything would have gone better if I had known I had DID then. It was really hard...especially the pregnancies. Being stressed or having mental problems doesn't mean you are a selfish jerk who will take all your emotions/problems out on others. It was hard, stressful, and difficult for me over the years, but my kids have grown up happy and oblivious because I/we don't project my/our issues on to them. I think that's the difference. My parents were both narcissists and it was always about them and how they felt or what they were stressed about, which is why they were terrible parents. A good parent (and person for that matter) doesn't take out their issues on the world and everyone around them. Anyway, you seem like a wonderful mom! Take care, K
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m so sorry you didn’t have the awareness and support back then - you’re so strong - that must’ve been so difficult and it’s incredible you’ve done all that and raised two amazing children! Thank you for being inspiring!
@@MultiplicityAndMe Aww, you're so sweet. Thank you 😊 and ditto...Thank you for being so inspiring!😉
I have two boys 5 and 2 years old and I’ve just been diagnosed this year. Everything makes a lot more sense now! Although I know things would have been easier had I known sooner, I believe it truly has to do with a person’s determination to be a selfless and committed parent , no matter what the circumstances. Being a parent is HARD, even for neurotypical people. But what makes a good parent in my opinion is a personal tenacity to overcome obstacles as they come and always put the children first no matter what. If a person has the capacity to be honest, reach out for help, and be totally selfless most of the time, that person can become a good parent. My abusers were my parents and my grandmother but I refuse to allow them to define my ability to give my children everything I deserved and everything they deserve. I’m breaking generational curses! No parent is perfect but I am trying my best every single day, while also setting an example for my younger siblings.
If you don't mind me asking, what's it like to have DID before it's diagnosed? What did you think was happening?
Andrea A. For me it was very confusing. It’s a trauma based disorder so dealing with ongoing trauma made it so that the only thing I knew in life was to constantly be in survival mode, constantly in a “reaction” state of mind and when you live life that way and it’s always been that way, everything inside is just pushed aside to constantly be on alert for danger. It wasn’t until I got into a safe space that I really had to face that things weren’t okay inside my mind , because I couldn’t blame it on my situation any longer. It feels like having your wires crossed all the time. Like when you want to say two different words but they come out jumbled as one , it felt that way in my thoughts. It feels like every memory came from a dream and I’m not sure what’s real and what isn’t. It feels like my life doesn’t belong to me. It feels like I don’t identify with my own decisions or my own opinions and thoughts. It feels like I’m constantly forgetting something that was just on the top of my tongue. It feels like my mind is floating above my body, and my memories are in 3rd person. Sometimes it feels like my life is in 3rd person. Sometimes it felt supernatural like spirits were talking to me or like I could see past lives. Certain times I’d be great at things and then other times I couldn’t do it. I thought maybe I had severe adhd or terrible anxiety. I could take tests I didn’t remember studying for and ace them, I could do math as though someone else was moving the pencil, I could have deep friendships with people who felt like total strangers at times. I’d get startled at the mirror and always feeling very existential.
My mom's MPD was diagnosed when I was 16, in 1991, and I requested to go to foster care during one of her many long term stays in the hospital for life endangerment. To be honest, although she was odd, challenging, confusing and frustrating while raising us six kids, she was a very loving and caring mother. It was unfortunately very unstable at times but considering her childhood and abusive adult relationships, I know that she worked so hard to a) to hold it together, b) keep us together, c) provide for us and d) instill a bond between us. I don't have a storybook childhood but I do have a 70 year old mom who still has fight and for that I have mad respect for her. She did have integration therapy (the only avenue available at the time and more explained back then like fusion) and it took 12 years of 2-3 sessions a week (with hypnotherapy) but she says it was successful. She has in the last few years experienced some dissociation during extreme grief but she says that she hasn't felt or been exposed to a new split since 2000. If she had been diagnosed earlier, been treated or had any resources I think she could have ROCKED motherhood like my heart tells me you will!!!!!
...I'm crying so much..I've literally never felt hope like this. Please continue with this. Maybe a segment called Parenting and Us or something for different types of alters talk on bonding with their hosts child (idk spitballing) just please dont let this stop. It hits a nerve of hope that I'm sure if I needed, others will need too. Thank you for this. -Kate
What beautiful feedback Kate! Thank you so so much! If we can do more to bring hope, encouragement and end stigma we will! 💪🏻💗
It makes me so sad to hear you get bad comments about bei g a mother. I‘m a psychotherapist for children myself and I can tell you, as far as my perspective is concerned (don‘t want to speak for others, just my opinion) you are an absolutely great mother and your situation makes you even more prepared and conscious how to bond with your baby girl ♥️ you won‘t repeat the pattern but break it and that is what is important!
I am so so terribly sorry for what you had to endure in your past and wish you only the very best!! Best wishes from Switzerland
Just to let u know..your system and the relationship u all have, including obviously with Gaz...together u r all nothing less than PIONEERS of living with DID. How you live with it, how u document it/put it out there on utube.....EVERYTHING u all do in relation to it....quite simply INSPIRATIONAL.
This is such a powerful message for anyone that has experienced childhood trauma, because of the fear within those experiences that make you adverse to recreating the abuse in your own children (even on accident). Thank you for this powerful message. It only makes me feel more grounded in my decision to have a family in my future despite what my past entailed. We are not our past.
I’m in grad school in the states to be a mental health counselor. I appreciate all your openness and sharing in you videos. I have told all my cohort about your videos as well. Thank you so much for a realistic and down to earth informative channel on DID.
Best of luck on your grad school journey! I’m sure you’ll be an amazing counsellor ☺️ thank you for your recommendation and lovely comments! It really does mean a lot!
I agree! People can only learn so much from a text book but everyone is so different that you have to learn how to read behavior and facial expressions and that's where videos and honesty like this comes in handy.
symerica I am too! In my internship rn 💖 we need more representation for DID and these videos make such a huge difference ☺️
So how does your daughter respond to Jake, Jamie, Ed, and Ollie?
I actually have D.I.D too and also had a daughter named Evie. Lucky for me all my alters are female and I had a very easy pregnancy so it was never really a problem. Unfortunately though my Evie is no longer a part of this world.
❤
Ok that last sentence made me cry for a a solid 5 minutes, so sorry for your lost ❤️.
@@somegeek2332 Thank you.
I am so sorry that you lost your baby. This is not something a mother can accept easily. I hope you healed from this the best you could. Thank you for your comment, I didn't know that a system could have only female alters. You teached me something.
I know I’m late to respond, but I’m so sorry that your Evie is no longer here. I really hope you don’t give up and keep on taking care of yourself
DID mum of a nearly 7 month old ✌️ it is really important to get all the help you can get
You're an awesome mum 🤗
You too lovely! 💗💗💗 #multiplicitymums 💪🏻
If an alter switches that doesn't like/know about the child and you're unaware and unable to be there what happens.
@@emberdt7998 that hasn't happened yet and I don't think it will... Baby is a trigger for all the ones that can and should take care... The others can front when baby isn't around...
I love seeing videos like this because my mom has DID and it’s been hard but she’s the best parent she can be for me and I love her so much
This video made me cry, I have CPTSD and BPD and I remember when I was pregnant it was like someone flicked a switch and I could ground myself so much easier, my daughter was all I could focus on. You’re an amazing mum and what an amazing family you have ❤️
Sarah Lowe I also have BPD and PTSD and I agree as soon as I got pregnant I no longer had suicide tendencies and was able to focus better.
tashgyrl I totally agree!!
Congratulations. You are brave. Having BPD I cannot imagine or want to have kids ever, I think my BPD will get worse( mine, I'm cool if a future partner has kids and I will be a step mom at one point )
13:20 Did anybody else hear the baby echo back "I love you?"
My son and I did!
YES! I looked for this comment! 9 months later.
Hello everyone! What a great video! Of course individuals that have had traumatic things happen to them can be wonderful parents. You can’t control the type of family you grew up in, but you can control the type of family your child/children grow up in. You are all wonderful parents and she is so blessed to have so many individuals that love her and care for her! I’m so happy for you all!!!
What a beautiful comment! Thank you so much!
I've seen a few videos of her and I love that she didjt go through this blind and ignorant. Like she said she knew it was the right time. So many people go into parenthood so blind and then... we know what happens after that...
I think with the way you’ve gone into the whole thing with awareness and preparation for the issues you may face, you are probably a better parent than a lot of other parents. The fact that you are actively taking care of your mental health and being very mindful of how you want to parent your child and how parenting and your own wellbeing play into each other is incredibly healthy and something that I think there should routinely be more support for in all cases, not just when the parent has pre-existing issues.
I hope you will keep talking about these sorts of things (obviously with boundaries for yours, Gaz’s and Evi’s privacy) because I think you could help a lot of people in this just as you help people with your DID advocacy.
It's just as important for Gaz to get his bonding time with Evee too, so definitely don't feel bad about asking for help! Daddy-daughter bonds are extremely important too! You are both going to continue to be excellent parents!
My husband is part of a system and while we're planning on adopting our children instead of pregnancy, this video had so many helpful tips for everyone in our family (the system and i). Everyone in our crew is so excited to be aunts/uncles/older siblings, and i'm sure that you all will do so well in raising your little one together !
Wow, Eevee seriously sounded like she was mimicking "I love you" 😍
Jess, you're a beautiful mama. Thanks for sharing xx
Stability is ABSOLUTELY key.
Anyone who can’t be stable shouldn’t try to raise kids. (Or maybe even pets - they desperately need consistency in their lives too.)
To categorize ANY group as “fit” or “unfit” for parenthood is just ridiculously lazy thinking. And useless for the purpose of raising healthy kids.
Watching these vids over time it’s clear that - after a LOT of hard work - your family (naturally that includes the alters) has developed one of the most stable environments I can imagine.
The work was done by - and for - y’all long before a baby came into the picture. And the work will continue because you’re all far too smart to think it’s done.
Very much looking forward to the continuing adventuress. I know there will be challenges, and that you’ll all learn a lot.
And so will we.
The pic of Evie and Gaz sticking tongues out at each other is the most adorable moment in this video! Thanks for sharing your journey!
Aren’t they just adorable 🙈💗 they really are the sweetest daddy-daughter
13:20 Nobody talking about the fact your BABY pretty much said "i love you" back?? Like, the words weren't there, but the sound and intonation was bang on.
Smart baba
So weird this pops up when my partner and I are discussing having kids together. Their body is male but they may face similar issues in the creative process. I have a lot of confidence in them being a great parent. Standing up to stigma is so important! Thank you for this!
Best of luck to you and your partner! You’re going to be amazing! 😄💗
you know she’s such a good mother when her baby’s first words are “i love you” 😊💞
How are the boys with the baby and how do they feel about interacting with evie
Aisha Gould they are all absolutely incredible with her! ❤️
Two of them are dads lol
@@neccodealer they're dads to ollie end evee too ?
His reaction when she showed him the pregnancy test melt my heart !
So proud of you for making this video! This took a lot of guts and it helps so many! Thank you!
Thank you so much 😭💗
She saying 'I love you' back!!! My heart is melting at just how adorable Eve is. And I am so happy for you guys. I wish you all the best!
Your baby it trying to say "i love you" she's so smart and capable
Lordy that baby is going to have so many people loving her, her whole life. What a lucky little lady.
thank you for this video. i’m 6 months pregnant and im terrified of not being a good enough parent because of my did and general mental health. you’ve been such an inspiration to me this whole time and i really cant thank you enough.
You’re such a devoted mum, your little one is fortunate to have such a loving and devoted mum.
Aww Gaz's reaction to finding out you were pregnant was so adorable!!
I do not have DID, but I do have a handful of other mental illnesses. But I relate to this video in a different way. It wasn't so much my mental health I was worried about with social services, but the fact that I went to rehab in the first half of my pregnancy. But much the same as Jess, I was completely open and honest and cooperative, and I did my best to get myself together, and now my daughter will be 6 in February. It's terrifying to think folks will judge you before you've even had a chance with your own child. So much love and support to Jess and Gaz. I just know that they're rocking that shizz. 💗💯🙌🏼
was jake alright through the pregnancy process? I remember from previous videos that he experiences some gender dysphoria, and as a trans guy I would never be able to do something like that. it's really great that you all could have such a lovely child, you guys seem like wonderful parents/caretakers!
dj slime time Jess touched on it. Jake suffers the most with dysphoria, so when it became too much for him (when the tummy started showing more noticably), he went further back into the headspace and stayed back there for a while as a very important form of self care.
Eevee cooing "I love oo!" Is the most adorable thing!
I had my daughter before discovering my multiplicity, and honestly it has helped me so much in my journey to recovery. There are so many things I can do differently with my daughter and give her the best headstart to life I can because I didn't have that. It was very hard mentally especially for the first month. But it's the most amazing learning experience. I'm so glad that you're enjoying motherhood. You deserve that and your baby will grow up with everything that she needs and that's amazing. Lots of love to you all
This is a very emotional video I was really scared to even want kids because of our mental health and physical issues but I found alot of comfort in the things you shared here thank you Jess💜
Oh guys I love this video. Eevee is so lucky to have you as parents and caregivers.
That’s so so sweet of you! Thank you so much!
Gaz "oh I hope it's a hamster" 😂
I just wanted to share my experiences. My father was a pedophile, I'm thankful that I was never a target but It did expose me to sex and things of a sexual nature. Later in life my step father (who at the time was in the last stages of a life lung battle with diabetes) wad very verbally abusive. The two things combined affected me in a negative way, where I know have very real self image and worth issues. But when I met my wife and her than 1 year old son none of that mattered. My everything goes into being the best possible father I can be and making sure he's confident and happy.
I respect how you work WITH your system so closely. I can only imagine the ups and downs you face and how much effort it takes. I know there are days when I just wish I could live a normal life and not deal with those things, so seeing how public you are, and how certain inspires hope and confidence. Good for you for having you baby(she's beautiful!) And good for you for getting the help you needed to make sure it went well. Keeping pushing. The world is a beet er place day by day because of people like you.
13:22 Eevee's "I love you" was the most adorable thing in the world
Hi Jess, Ollie, Jake, Jamie, and Ed! I love love love love love you all so much! 🧡🧡🧡
Yo that newborn is straight up saying "I love you" clear as day.
His reaction to the test was the absolute best! I love it!!!
I don't think I have ever been prouder of someone I have never met!
You and Gaz are going to be outstanding parents to your beautiful child. I cant wait to see more of your amazing little family
Thank you for sharing your story with us all, I am sure many people with mental health issues look to you and Gaz and see how life doesn't have to be defined by past experiences and can look forward to an uninterrupted happy future :)
Thank you, my closest friend has DID and your videos have helped me more than you can know, how to be the best friend I can. Your little one is pure joy, enjoy every minute with her and you and your husband are great parents.
Thank you so so much! And thank you for being such a good friend to your friend! ☺️💗
Nothing sweeter to hear “No! Fuck off?!” When telling your husband your pregnant... lovely! Good job guys!
When she said "I love you" was just amazing. I'm so broody now! 🥰
thank you. i’ve watched this before but i’m watching it again to remind myself that just because right now i wouldn’t make a good mother doesn’t mean i never will.
just need to heal and gain a bit more stability
Eevee looks so much like Gaz! 💕 she’s beautiful like you though, and has the big expressive eyes of Jake! my husband and I have fertility problems, and he struggles with Borderline Personality. People have said to him “maybe it’s for the best” “maybe something’s trying to tell you you can’t handle it” “you shouldn’t have children with the medications you take anyway!” (as if they all had an MD ready to tell us all the side effects)
Now we are trying to go through medically assisted pregnancy (IUI, possible IVF) and it’s very hard to be faced with others opinions - not to mention everyone around us falling pregnant!
I’m so glad things have worked out for you and the resources you had worked well for you. I hope the same for us!!
I have depression, anxiety, autism, other health problems, and experienced trauma. This is such an encouraging and hopeful video. If I'm blessed with kids, I want to be the best mother possible.
13:21 omg ❤️ I love the way she repeats "I love you" so well. Your baby is so in tune with communicating with you already.
Awwwwww. She is precious and she was definitely saying she loves you. I went back and watched that part several times. It was so awesome to hear her saying that.
Your system creates hands down my favorite mental health channel. You are so wonderfully educational and kind without being exploitive. I sincerely wish you and your precious family the very best. Congratulations on your sweet baby!!!
You were being such a fantastic mother before she was even born! Congratulations and don't think everyone thinks those negative things. It's obvious you and hubby are both wonderful and that your beautiful baby is very happy.
(Possible trigger words if some affirmations make you uncomfortable)
Little late to the party but most parents who go through anything do not want their child to go through the same. Whether an embarrassing thing in school or trauma or breaking a bone, most want to prevent that. So I say that most are more compassionate and sympathetic because of own experience.
Not discrediting anyone at all but just human nature of caring and loving seems to be more intense when personal experience is involved.
To everyone, you are awesome and no one can tell you that you are a bad person or are not allowed to do something. People are nasty but also some are nice.
Don't let others control your life. Your life is precious and what happened in the past doesn't define who you are now. What you do now, what you make of yourself, what you want is most important to being the best you that you can be.
I love you all for who you are ❤
I think your daughter is lucky to have you all. She gets amazing mom, dad, and uncles she can see often. There is no reason anyone should say you all don't deserve a child. She gets so much love from one body. That's a blessing. Congratulations!!!