Masking my anxiety at eating in public - Unmasking my autism

I recently went for a meal out and it became a moment for discovery when I was chatting with a work colleague about my anxiety of eating in public and how I have learned to overcome that, but also what it takes for me to eat in public. This experience also made me realise that I need to share my experiences more because that's how differences become more accepted. The lengths we go to mask our autism is overwhelming at times, and especially in social occasions, the smile stays on even if its a lot of work to be there.
Thank you so much for watching, the engagement is wonderful for me and I hope for you all as well.

[@ranasabeh282]

Thank you for sharing your experience! As a NT learning all I can about neurodivergence it really helps to know how much mental energy goes into something like eating in public and helps me to have more empathy for all of the different anxiety inducing things I take for granted. I had no clue you have to think about so much just to eat a meal. I will be mindful of this when I'm out with ND people. Infinite gratitude to you and everyone brave enough to share their journeys on YT. Sending you so much Love and compassion. *heart*

[@TheGreatReveal]

Thank you so much!

[@user-js5et3gc8q]

What a great experience. I'm glad that you found someone that you could connect with like you did. That is how it works. Good friendship potential. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@Hermitthecog]

Yep, social eating is complicated for me as well, e.g. somehow always the last to finish; so many factors to consider in meal selection; and the logistics of sequestering digestion to ensure I don't derail myself from taking adequate sustenance. Typically when in public I prefer to either eat alone or stick to fast food options rather than proper server-populated restaurants in order to keep everything as simple, quick and manageable as possible. (Come to think of it, I find the buffet experience to be the most autistically accommodating.) Generally speaking I bring snacks whenever I'm out so that I can just avoid social eating altogether!

[@tracirex]

I gave myself the gift of not eating in public four years ago. my husband and I eat together, but even then, he knows I don't want him to watch me eat. it goes with the autustic trait of not wanting to be perceived. you are not a weirdo. I enjoy my food so much more when I can focus on it. our way of doing things is valid. no shame here.

[@TheGreatReveal]

Love this!

[@isabellammusic]

Hi! This was so interesting and it's great that you could find someone to talk about it with! I hope I can find some safe people in real life too. We've been masking with so many things that we don't even were conscious about and now that we understand ourselves better we are so aware of every little thing we do and it's so cool! I've been walking around thinking everybody is experiencing the same things and just don't talk about it because it's shameful and they don't! We have different brains. I understand what you mean with becoming a researcher scientist because I'm obsessed with understanding everything about Neurodivergence. Hope you have a wonderful day!

[@TheGreatReveal]

Thank you! I've been forcing myself to have more open conversations with friends I suspect have neurodivergent brains and its been really enlightening. I'm not necessarily labelling any of the behaviours, just talking about sensitivities and it has enabled some really honest conversations to happen.

[@frantri3246]

I also like to hide in a corner when eating in a public place, or just take some fast food. Food choice is difficult (even more so with small budget :/)
Eating comes with its own set of rules (table manners). Being in a public place, perhaps even in a bigger group, adds the usual social rules (that we don't have intuitively). So you have to constantly monitor for both sets of rules. Autistic persons often struggle with motor skills - It took me ages to get somewhat passable at cutting with my left hand, but still it happens that I slip and throw food on the table... I think that's what you call "messy" - so you have to really focus on that.
So 3 different major "tasks" to handle. And autistic persons are bad at/incapable of multitasking. It's stressful, overwhelming and draining/tiring, so inevitably at some point one will fall short. You know that from experience. And build anxiety around that whole public eating scenario.
I don't know if that makes sense.

[@TheGreatReveal]

It makes complete sense. My son struggles to use cutlery, and although we encourage him and always present it at meals, I don't force him because I know it will take him longer to master how to use them.

[@arurora5474]

Same, im pretty sure I have arfid because of my food sensitivity. Biting onto something that is a not safe food can give me gag reflex and vomit and I obviously would never want to ruin everyone's meal by vomiting infront of everyone 😢 also I don't like that people judge me for my choice and the fact that I always eat the same things in each restaurant. It's not my fault my safe foods are not in every dish. Plus the taking apart of the food always upsets people so I have to choose something that is 100% safe and that limits my choices even more... oof eating with people is so exhausting 🙄

[@TheGreatReveal]

Eating alone at home, on the sofa, eating the foods I know I enjoy, that I prepared and like, is probably one of my favourite things in the world. I understand exactly what you mean.