mistydemaranville5119 I don't believe he doesn't love me - you believe in love? why? i also wanted to believe "people are good", but i always felt the worst after such BS ... they want you to see them as good when they want to push some BS to you ... and i still have problem with it, maybe because i do the same ... everyone is a selfish egotist, right? and "joy" is always on costs of something/someone ... maybe that is why i always was afraid of emotions, thought they are dirty ... because they are (but maybe thinking are also emotions, ego) ... and i was afraid of being happy ... that i will get the opposite ... i think people really dont like/ignore when i am happy ... so i hope they dont mind if i do the same with their "joy" ... so_what2 labakanurzidil2464 ^ another hater troll to ignore - i didnt ask you who are you, why are you spamming me, Goebbels? but i think you described yourself precisely ... hapticsav3605 0 - also nice contradiction, "nothing", but still pushed itself here as "0" ...
My narcissist ex thought he could replace me after I loved him unconditionally. 1 year and a half later of no contact, he's now trying to come back into my life. Nope, I'm long gone✌️. He will never find another like me. He took me for granted. He now has to see that unfortunately.
Good job establishing your boundaries! Be proud and aware of your absolutely correct choice! I left mine after 16 years! Oof! Mine is getting plenty of lessons and accountability that were definitely not expected by him! I am thriving and have a life again!
They think we will never leave them, that's one of the reasons they are attracted to us, we are Empaths, but we are also codependent and I was a chronic people pleaser until i wasn't. I thank the narcissist because they were put in my life to eventually wake me up so I can look after me the way I use to look after them. It started at birth, both my parents are narcissist, they programmed me to be codependent and a chronic people pleaser for their needs but I no longer allow narcissist into my life, I don't see my dad, my mum has passed away, im now free, took 55 years, but I'm free. ❤
when you leave a narcissist, your value becomes very obvious - they struggle with that because they’ve been downplaying it in your presence and now have no choice but to face it in your absence
When you start getting educated, and know how they operate, you come to the amazing conclusion how predictable they are.. there is nothing authentic about them, they are a joke...
Unless you have BPD and call yourself “super empath”, in this case the victim of the narcissist thinks they are entitled to save them and there is this terrible symbiosis until things get very ugly, unfortunately.
We are not victims. We are people with normal narc characteristics. We are abusers too. But soft ones. In balance. Just to say that qualify us as victims it's a little too much...
@@spectershore4482 There are no soft abusers, I abuse nobody, sorry, but I find your opinion strange and scary, it seems you try to justify your actions, which ever they might be. All the best to you, I don't require an answer.
They all end in the streets. Male and female. It always ends when the very last person, or cluster of people they’re hurting gets wise and NCs. That is unless they lied, cheated, and stole themselves a nest egg before that.
after 3 years of no contact, boom, I saw the ex in the grocery store. "scott, how are you?!'....big smile of the face. all I said was 'good' and kept walking. I went to grab one more thing, turned around and headed for the cashier. sure enough, the ex had circled around and was coming at me again. I cut a hard left, glanced at her face.....narc injury. sure I got triggered but was pleasantly surprised I regulated so quickly. so grateful... cool video.
Good for you Scott I have been 5 years out now from the toxic ex..I have not seen him since..if I ran into him now I think I would react how you did..a year ago I would have lashed out at him so I definitely have made progress
Yes, it’s just as HG Tudor has said. Narcissists don’t see you as a human being with feelings. They view you as an appliance for them to use. They don’t miss you, they miss what you can do for them. I went no contact with my older narcissist sister almost 10 years ago, after our mother died at 90. My life with my husband has Improved 1000%. The bottom line is, If you want a happy life, you need to ditch the narcissist asap & don’t look back. Enjoy your FREEDOM.❤
My ex narc literally wrote "it's an honor to be with me" in her WhatsApp profile. We were still together at the time but even then I was floored at just how delusional she was. "An honor? It's a fucking nightmare!"
An ex sent me an email six weeks after I ended the relationship. She stated that I had just ruin the most perfect relationship. It took me a year to get her out of my house. She constantly yelled at me and interfered with my relationships with my two teenage kids. She lived with me rent free because she had massive credit card. Did she contribute to cleaning my home that I shared with her, NO. She would go to my work and attempted to get me fired after the break up. Her Smear Campaign included my family, friends, and co-workers. These creatures are a lost cause. Get out. Go No Contact.
I was the same....She said she was a trophy and she was the best I could get.. She was a fucking nightmare.. I told her she's a hasbeen 49 years granny
They think people are replaceable because THEY are replaceable. They treat people like objects because THEY are objects. Narcissist project OFTEN, subconsciously, they KNOW that they do not have much to offer and thus blend in with most people. Which means they can be replaced easily. Hence, their insatiable need to be the best, the center of attention and basically worshiped
@selenadrenalinperle7383 you cannot get tired of what fuels you. Supply is like air to them, I don’t know about anyone else, BUT I never get tired of breathing.
They always downplay you when they’re with you. I left my narc, and after he realized I wasn’t coming back, he started begging. It’s crazy because the reasons that normal people have for wanting someone back are not their reasons. If you REALLY listen to what they’re saying, you’ll hear the truth. Mine told me “I’m not going to find anybody like you.” And yes, he was right. He never will. He didn’t want me back because he loved me, he wanted me back because I was the best he’d ever do.
You hit the nail on the head. Whenever I asked my ex why he loved me, it was invariably about how great and powerful I made HIM feel, and how much I loved HIM and all the energy I gave HIM.
Keep on dreaming y’all. In real reality we feel no love and we never beg for love. My ex was flirting and cheating with another man, I started dating and found another woman too. It’s all eye for an eye. You don’t have to be a narcissist to cheat. I’m a diagnosed covert narcissist and honestly I have my best life to live, I work hard and make money, all the rest of the relationship s are bs made in thin ice
@@Vaticanrome Youre the man dawg. did you see the statement you replied too. Negative projection. Dont want to be no god damn bitch getting played by your crazy ass negative projection. Lol Its exhausting enough putting up with your daily Bullshit, treating me like im your mean daddy or that actual LOSER Ex that you cant seem to get over isnt worth the effort. You all and me are not the same. Go on with your bad self cheating on each other and all that nasty BS. Im good. ✌️💯🙏
I believe that what is most memorable about any human being is how they made you feel! With that being said I do believe that a narcissist can absolutely miss the way a special individual MADE THEM FEEL! What human being wouldn't miss feeling safe, loved, and accepted? What person wouldn't miss someone who made them feel like they were connected to a light that helped them cope with the darkness inside of them? Just because a narcissist cannot love you right doesn't mean they cannot miss how you loved them!
We must remember that one of the main traits of the narc disorder is that these creatures lack empathy. So things in their minds are not normal. They really don't care about or love anyone. Strange disorder. Stay away. HEAL God bless.
I get what you mean. What they feel is, I think, irritation. They no longer have access to something they saw as a right. Like if your favourite restaurant closed.
@balderjohnson430 May I humbly ask you to explain your comment more fully? I am struggling to make sense of my marriage separation which will be ending in divorce soon, and as a God praising man cannot understand why this is happening other than demonic principalities playing into this destructive path we are on. My wife outright refuses to consider reconciliation in our marriage after she discarded me nearly a year ago. She too is a church member with a Christian upbringing. I am broken-hearted and hate divorce as God hates divorce. 💔
For those struggling re "God hates divorce". First you need to define what a marriage is. If you are married to a narc/socio. And, with respect to dark entity attachments, watch Denzo Moss or any other that explain this. It is real. The covert "shy" narc is the most subtle and dangerous. Why? They are the best as a result of the most powerful and VERY subtle, vile "demons". So insidious👹👿🤬
Why can’t people just be convinced that human beings CAN be outright evil without being possessed by demons? Because they can be. It’s not always fucking demons. Human beings are capable of being very disgusting. You can be evil without having demons do it for you. What would the harm be in admitting that Humans are just *that* horribly capable?
They dump on you and make you want to leave them. Only for them to immediately try to find your replacement. A smart individual would do everything in their power to keep a good person around so they wouldn't have to go back on the hunt. It's a vicious stupid cycle and existence for them.
Narcs live life looking in the rear view mirror! The only way they miss you is if you move on with your life and NEVER look back! You win and live life as if they were never a blip on your radar! Let em back in and it will be worse than ever!
I’ve had two contact me. One dumped me for a doctor at our church while I was in a war zone. Six years later she messaged me out of the blue and invited me over to her house to do her raw. She was pregnant, so it wouldn’t matter was her reasoning. Two kids, with a third on the way, husband at a conference. She just didn’t feel a connection with him anymore. A second just recently messaged me. She’s in her early 40’s, DINK, with a great husband. Not so great apparently. $500k a year, love, and fidelity cannot defeat a narcissists sense of entitlement and boredom. It’s nuts.
Once you become a secondary supply you see how easily they cheat on their current supply with you and you come to the realization that they were doing it that whole time with you.
Congrats to you and @testingbabu406 both for your new found freedom. The scary part now is praying another doesn't written their way in. I was fooled again but caught it super quick and was able to disengage from the cycle. My best to you both ❤
At first they’re a kid in a candy store - but overtime - hum - all people grow up & move on. And there lies the Narc that has no one that will put up with their crap anymore . They become sad, lonely, bitter and pitiful but still won’t reflect on their shortcomings
It took me almost a decade to heal from trauma bonding from narcissistic relationship..I loved her,trusted her more than anything else in this world..the way she discarded me was brutal, she wasn't answering my calls and suddenly talk to me as I was stranger in front of her new supply..time won't heal you, you need therapy to heal.. educate yourself about NPD would make you understand more and heal much faster
Sure they can´t because we were great people to use (sadly). But once we have enough and realize the game - we finally step up and speak: Game over! And I personally doesn´t care if I am replaced or not - I am free and in peace and that is the most important for me. NEVER AGAIN!
Yessss, I second this comment. I just left my narcissist of 5 years very recently and I'm just glad to have my peace for my 2 sons and I. Who cares if he tries to replace me because the way I see it is he's just going to be a migraine and parasite for the next person. I'm free from bondage!!!
They don’t 😂 You’ll be replaced like the guy she replaced you with. Beat to get through the anger stage and go to proper healing ( therapy for codependency and childhood wounding. Where you learn why you tolerated crap. Put up with abuse. And then start the shift to healthy boundaries. Focus on self. And detox from the chemical highs and lows )
I feel the same. I invested in "us". I really loved him. And, it became so necessary to end it. That was very painful but I did it. I knew he wouldn't as long as he could keep "using" me.
I did too and they took it for granted, used me as free childcare and took pleasure in criticising my every move. The whole “giving slightly more in the investment phase to secure a person long term” absolutely nailed my experience.
Hope they regret is ego. I was there. What is done is done. Forgive yourself. What you gave wasn’t wrong. Doing so without boundaries or accepting little or nothing in return is what was. Acceptance that your efforts to convince them of your worthiness only caused them to deem you worthless. Hope I made sense. I wasted two years repairing my self inflicted damage.
Saw this comment on an other vid. Explains it perfectly. "They are opposite people. The hoover is the courtship. The love bombing is the hate. The relationship is the divorce. The discard is the marriage".
But the potency of the supply will plumeth down, 80-90-95% 😂. A regular victim is not enough for them. It’s like eating junkfood. They need the empath’ fuel to reacharge. Or high status victims. But these most often figure them out and go no contact
@@lisarivera4730 And you picked him for money :) So other women will also pick him for money :) So all you're doing is revealing female nature :) But you think you're portraying HIM in the negative light :) Ahhh women
This is why, having a founation in truth in Jesus, a narcsissitic person cannot stand. Most people have these traits. Its called having a wicked soul. A contradiction good. We live in a world full of people like this. Battles are expected, and I do not mind being the one to tell them enough is enough. Bad behavior will not be tolerated. Stand your ground, dont argue. Just make your point. Let them make a fool of themselves
Thank you. He neglected and ignored me so much near the end. I knew he was talking to other women and on dating apps again, it’s the same cycle, same behaviours. I’ve always been the dependable backup because I endured his bad behaviour and stuck around. I thought I could help him. I constantly felt invisible, worthless. I reached breaking point and ghosted him a week ago and each day that passes I can see the real him more clearly. How fake it all was, how intentional the hurtful games were, even though he insisted he would never want to hurt me. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to leave but it will be the last.
@@smallypuppy22 So far so good. Watching lots of videos and journaling and leaning heavily on trusted friends. This time is different, I told a select few close friends EVERYTHING. Before that I had kept it all secret because I was ashamed and knew things were toxic. I hope you’re doing ok, sending strength back to you! ⚡️♥️⚡️
I seem to have a PHD in NPD now, and This is an Excellent Post, Yeah i Knew all along that he didn't know i was irreplaceable, but i Know Damn Well even though hes a Narcissist he Knows it now!!! Anyone Who has a Relationship with These Creatures Knows How much BS You put up with from them and its Never Ever Worth it!!!
lol, i really like that post and all so true. I had little idea of what I was going through with my ex unitl I left him and then stumbled across vidoes about narc's and it all made sense to me and helped me heal. for them tho......no video will help them,ever!
My narcissistic husband dreams of being a bachelor again because, in his head, he'll be free to have house parties, and his friends would visit him left and right and he'll be the life of the party. But in the 7 years that I've been with him--and from what he's told me about his past--he's lonely; no one visits, not even his "friends" or family.... But I'm making his dreams come true by making a career change so my children and I can be financially independent of him.
Go for it. Make your own money and leave with your kids one day. Then his party starts. Make sure you're out of sight by then and start your happy life.
You are putting videos of your baby up to get views, you have tons of them on your channel. This is worse than narcissism, the baby cannot give consent and the baby does not have the ability to leave. You have transcended diagnosis and entered the realm of child abuse.
That’s honestly sad. It’s embarrassing and cringe how many of them don’t notice how pathetic their reality actually is in comparison with the false dream reality they’ve come up with in their head. Mine thought he’d be rich and famous, even though all he did all day was sleep, eat, and talk shit.
Lol- mine discarded me and our children (after 30+ yrs together), for his new set of 'friends' and supply. They started a band and believe they're gonna be geriatric rock stars. 😂 ok. Y'all go ahead and knock yourselves out. These people are ridiculous.
Just dealt with one and this video popped up out of nowhere. 😊 when you finally block them and start to remember how great you actually are, nothing beats that. Nothing.
I have put my narcissist husband in prison. After 2 years of psychological and physical abuse, behind his back I went to the police station. The same evening he was under arrest and now he's awaiting trial in custody. I went no contact. Nada. He tried to write a letter to me but the prosecutor kept it as husband wrote stuff that can be used as evidence. I still think of the pikachu face he must have made on the day of the arrest. Prior to that he'd told me that "after 48hrs he'd walk free", so what would be the point to bother the cops.
They need to start teaching a course on how to avoid NARCS in high school. There are alot of people being traumatized by them on a daily basis and thats not good for society at large. Including whole nations......think about it USA the whole world is watching............
Exactly. When my ex said to me that he liked it when I was upset as it let him know that I sill cared. That was the moment I began to detach, not respond emotionally to anything that he said (designed to upset me anyway), and hard as it was, began to confront gently but seriously all that I had been keeping within. I knew I had to do that or he would not ever leave me alone. "I need you" "I am addicted to you" "I will never leave you alone". All lies of course. I did not fall for any of the "false words" of BS. I am not saying it was easy. At the end, I was even sick with a stomach problem but that went away within one week once I did the deed. Your body screams when your heart and mind battle to no end.
I want to say thank you. Your message was a review of what I needed to hear. The narc that was in my life for 13 years is doing all those things. And everyday I struggle with missing him. So I listen to stuff like this constantly. I do it to remind myself that I’m slowly moving from survivor to thriver. One day at a time. Your voice is calming as well. I enjoyed your message. Thank you.
Dr. Ramani had a video that talked about this, she said if you find yourself "remembering the good times" of the narc, make an "Ick-list" of all the horrible and bad things they've done to you and went through eith them. Look back at that list as a reminder that you are free and deserve better. ❤🙏
I had the chance to let narcissist back in. After remarrying and blocking me, giving the appearance that I was crazy. After she left him, he now wants to contact me again. There are no good memories. I know now that the good was just fake him, to win me over in the beginning. He showed me the real him, real good!!
I wasted five years of my life with a covert narcissist because I didn’t even know what it was until someone pointed it out. The problem there is, you could never get those years back that meant nothing. Then suddenly shuttered. Never known such a cold person. Just shows that love can be blind.
Thanks Joe! What I have a hard time comprehending is this: They hate themselves, they have no self esteem, they’re full of self loathing, super insecure…. How is it that they also have a God complex and feel like even when they look at someone that person should get weak in the knees? I get the confidence is a part of the false self, but how then do they “think” they’re so high and mighty rather than just “acting” high and mighty? Hope this makes some sense. Thank you!
Bc they are delusional. They believe their lies. But! There are mirrors everywhere that remind them of their shallow existence. They take the hit- project the pain unto someone else and keep charging..it’s a repetitive cycle. Sad existence.
@@goldenbreeze6618 hot damn that was a great explanation, thanks a lot. That makes total sense. Ew gross. Talk about sad. Never ever being even capable to look inward. Like a trash can that only half the trash (I’m being generous) is taken out every time. The bottom half just sits and rots and stinks and you just wanna know what the hell that smell is and where it’s coming from… it’s coming from the smelly Narc.
I once dated a narcissist in middleschool. At first I believed things were fine, that she loved me, and I loved her. But it was too late when I realized that all of the people who told me that she was a terrible person, were right. She cheated on me but I was so enfatuated, young, stupid, that I simply welcomed her back with open arms. She showed little emotion towards me, and only ever talked to me if she had to, or if i complained that we never spoke. She would get angry at me if I got upset about something that she did or said towards me. My feelings never mattered to her, and she knew that I was in love, but she saw it all as an intricate game to tug me along. Her mother was also a narcissist, and as most of you know, narcissists are made. Not born. Her and her mother were very alike, but got into fights alot, yelled, sometimes got physical, lied to each other, and to me about each other to try and make the other seem worse or better off alone. It was near summer break leading into highschool that I finally realized my mistake in being with her and when I broke up with her, she still acted as if we were dating, getting all cuddly with me, talking to me as if I was her lover. It became tiring and I just wanted to be alone, but that was her goal. She wanted me to feel like everyone was against us, against me. And for awhile I believed that, until I finally broke free from that mindset and moved on. And let me tell you, that really pissed her off. She instantly went from "Loving" me to furiously hating me, spreading lies and rumors that no one believed, and sending me terrible messages to unaliive myself or to lock myself away so no one had to deal with me. I was down in the dumps for a long time, not really having anyone to help me move forward, but eventually I pulled myself out and I'm 20, have an amazing girlfriend, and I'm happier than ever. I know this was long but please, anyone who needs to hear this. You are your own person. You are beautiful and intelligent, you make your own decisions and if anyone tries to take that away, then they are not the person you want to be around, cut them off and move on. Don't feel bad, don't look back. I made that mistake already.
@@JULIABARIUANfew months back i was in the same situation , like yours alot of pain , anxiety , frustration but i thing i realise 1 thing lately after 3 month of this , which really helped me move on . from that emotional attachment , which give me all of these anxiety and all .
They can regret losing you but I guarantee if you gave them a chance, they will treat you the same as they did before. Let them live with their pain instead of causing you pain again!
I got a birthday hoover three weeks past my birthday. Sent gifts and a card, after two years of no contact its was placed in the trash with the rest of the garbage.
You can heal Crazeefish. I've seen it happen with Jesus, I sure have. You can be delivered from anything and any demon with the Lord Jesus Christ. ❤praying you Delivered from this demon, It's just hindering your true you, When you do see it all as what it really is, a trick. All the lying, no caring nature...any of this, just a plot to keep you from feeling real joy. Praying it helps to know. I've seen it happen. He is awesome and still learning, but he is doing it with Jesus
A frienemy and I went to dinner one evening and she evidently told the X where we were going. He walked in, and I guess he thought I’d fly into his arms. But I gave a little half wave and he then walked to the bar. We left and she said she felt awkward but I felt nothing except disappointed that she would betray my friendship. He passed away in the hospital, alone, of the popular disease when they weren’t allowing visitors. He told me he started smoking to punish his wife who got pregnant by another man. I’m sad for all who were traumatized by this evil guy, especially his ex and her son.
It’s happened with my daughter. Her father is a diagnosed sociopath narcissist. She became his flying monkey after a life of being ignored by him and supported by me. I have had to recognize she was using me, gaslighting me, projecting on me. I had to let go when I realized how much DAMAGE she was doing to me emotionally, financially and verbally. I hope she realizes I was there at her darkest moments when no one else was.
You don't leave your children. You try and see it from their point of view and recognize you made mistakes raising them that sticks with them and you might think you did everything right but you couldn't have or you wouldn't be having this problem. You are the momma and it's your responsibility to never give up and never stop loving them. Maybe she's pissed at you and isn't able to tell you in a healthy manner. Perhaps some therapy together would help. Please reach out to your daughter and tell her your sorry for hurting her and you want to work it out, that's your baby!
You are allowed to leave your adult children if they are abusing you. This lady has raised her daughter and is now being abused. Why should she allow herself to be used and abused. Walk away.
@@gillc9773 come on now, think about this WITH YOUR BRAIN, if she has raised these children WITH their BEST interest at heart and NOT HER OWN, why would such a child turn on their mother? Please use your brain. Trauma creates trauma and vengeance
@@Emily_CiKDo you actually have kids (with a narcissist) ? Because if you've never had kids and tried to coparent with a narcissist... you'll never understand. They will try anything and everything to turn your children against you.
Thank you, this makes me feel a little better about myself now. 18 years of learning how to play the game and now in the discard stage . It really hurts after being told how horrible I am and that I will never find anyone as good as him that would put up with me . Broken and crushed right now .
You are 100% right this is a great video I wanted to mention one thing from my 9 years of experience dealing with true clinical narcissists they always have someone lined up before they disgard you but this is always not well planned out and they are easily tricked by players after the narcissist realizes the new person is not giving them the supply they need and that you can't be replaced they will lower there standards in looks social status ect just to get someone to give them supply. If you are a 8 in the dating market place they will find a 3 or 4 just for temporary supply and stay with them until they monkey branch to a better model. They also move to different areas where knowone knows them for better chance of finding new victims.
After losing my feelings for the narcissist and realizing she was truly an evil person and a terrible friend, I stuck around and put up with her for about another 6 months. Until finally deciding I’m not going to put up with her anymore, and I know she knows I’m onto her and don’t fall for her bs anymore. We ended up getting into our final argument where I told her “after all these years you kept mistreating me so much you’ve never been a friend to me. You’ve only used me for sex, so that’s all you are worth to me, you’re useful for nothing else. Don’t ever message me anymore unless you want to have sex” and then I haven’t heard from her at all since last year. It’s crazy how extremely promiscuous women get offended when you point out their promiscuity and call them out for it.
You sound like the narcissist here. “You’ve only used me for sex” you say… then proceeded to end the message with “don’t ever message me anymore, unless you want to have sex” lol. You think that’s actually normal healthy behaviour? You’ve clearly objectified this person too. You just unmasked yourself. Lol
When your abusive ex says youll never find someone to love you like I do, your right! That wasnt love. Ive moved on. I found a great man, an amazing man who i dont feel like i have to walk on eggshells every day, who actually shows me affection, and we treat each other right. Hes a cop as well. I stayed with my ex for 7 years trying to make things work to no avail. It was not worth the physical and mental abuse. Ive never made a better choice to leave him and move on. I love my man to death and feel blessed to have someone who actually loves me back. Til death do us part ❤❤❤ Leaving the people who are bad for you is hard, but things can be so much better. Dont give up hope 😊
The reality if it is "They miss you". I don't think it's purely their need for supply... Sometimes they miss you. But revenge is best served cold and they did it to themselves and Oh so deservedly so. I like your voice. My first time here. Thank you.
Been there. Done that. The only way to overcome is acceptance of one’s accountability. I allowed what I shouldn’t have. Trauma is a kind way of describing one’s severely damaged ego. (My view doesn’t consider heinous acts on innocent people).
So much appreciate this. So much resonates to a relationship that just ended. They actually call themselves a ‘victim’ after 2 solid months of taking not even giving a little in return. Agree with ‘after a while it’s unsustainable’ and ‘of course you shouldn’t go back’. Thank you Joe ! God led me to your video. He really did.
unfortunately that’s what us people pleasers (givers )do We let the narcissist suck all the energy out of this. Once you realize what’s going on, then you can change.
Thank you so much for video. I m just out of such relationship. It still hurts, actually hurts a lot. So I m learning about those kind of people, and info you put about their behavior is crucial for me not to believe that they are sorry. I love this guy and without learning and analyzing many videos that I watched by now, I could come back no matter what. Not from now. Appreciate ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️
That was beautiful, thank you for making this and providing clarity to those like myself that someone healthy out there for me will value those qualities about me and love me for ME and not my supply. ❤🙏 9 months no contact with my narc ex-boyfriend, feeling so free and happy. I feel like i have hope and a second chance in life and theres something to look forward to. Im happy i can freely be around my friends, family, and church without having that walking on eggshells or afraid of making the narc mad feeling.
One of the best videos I've heard about narcissistic relationships by far. The voice of the individual giving this information is also calming. 👌🏻 Thank you for making this video. ❤🎉
This is toxic advise. Narcissists will stop no sooner than a serial killer will. They will never ever care especially when they think you are stupid enough to believe they will. Cut your losses and get away now! Every minute you spend trying to rationalize it, the weaker your support network becomes! Get out before your health declines and they become your care giver. Seriously, because the ptsd you are facing in the wake of this horror is more than anyone deserves. The road gets longer and more treacherous with denial. Get Out!
I guess that what the video aims to achieve is kind of a compensation for those people who suffered with a narcissist. The point is not to play games with a narcisist, but to face that maybe getting away from them is the greatest pain that one can cause. For some of them, the thought of being alone is really terrifying. And no, narcissists won't stop. They'll regret it, but not for the right reasons, you know?
For me the greatest mistake you can make is think that narcissists actually care about you. They don't, and that's very clear if you racionalize and undertand it before move on (or else you may fall into the trap again)
You clearly understand exactly what its like for the narciasist and his "object". Delivered in tbis quiet calm voice. Really modest (nice voice btw) .with these magical pictures . I recognised every single word you said.. They are all true.. Yiu have a singularly differrnt approach to how you deliver a very truthful insigh and i was acknowledging every word you said all the way through. It was such a relief to know what its like.. really for both sides and i think you are accurate with a unique presentation style. .
I have discovered your channel. I find myself back tracking on my level of contact with two sets of individuals who also triangulated me. It’s been a steep learning Cur I’ve to recognise those moments where I forget and see them as I want them to be rather than understand they are who they are and they are definitely not my friends. You don’t hurt the people you love. So this push pull dynamic to keep you invested is tough to break. Break it I shall.
The NPD divorced that me came back after 29 years ago found me on Internet saying I want my husband back….No you made a Decision now live with it Have nice life but not with me.
Mine trained me very well,which made him thoroughly spoilt. After 30 yrs when it was over, he immediately went out to replace me. He still hasn't 5 yrs later, and he's been getting through literally hundreds of women looking for one with everything he'd drummed into me over the years..but he cant find her..
@warrenraglin5502 That he's right, that i wear what he likes, when the kids were ill he blamed me, or didn't believe them, he'd take me to his family abroad and just leave me there surrounded by strangers, he took the piss out of me when I was upset when my brother was dying, that fipped my switch..and it stayed off. The kids begged me to leave him. I should have done it sooner, for them.
This guy I dealt with was very narcissistic. His bm left him and it didn’t take long for him to try and make me her replacement. I immediately recognized the behavior as a test to see if I would be a suitable replacement because he did a few things like try and gaslight me, try and give me fake validation by telling me how much I meant to him and that he loved me, tried to degrade me and my ability to find an actual decent man after I rejected him for anything “serious.” If a narcissist seems to be looking for something “serious” with you then beware that you need to tighten up somethings about yourself. They only want that with people they can use. I told him why would you think I ever wanted to be in her shoes?? Especially after you spoke about her to me the way you did and admitted all the things you did to her!?You’re an occasional good time on a very superficial level and that’s it. It’s not easy to find a fool who cares enough to jump through all your hoops and want to be on the short end of a one sided system and that person is not me. He really thought someone that naive and willing to tolerate him was going to be easy to replace. 😅😅😅I told him if I had someone in my life who literally let me do whatever I wanted and was still always there for me I would hold on to that person for dear life. I ended things shortly after and I’m willing to bet my bottom dollar that he has tried to recycle her back into his life by now. The only way to deal with a narcissist is on a very superficial level and with the realization and behavior that shows them they are not special in any meaningful way worth investing anything more than that.
What you said about there being things you need to tighten up about yourself is SO TRUE. And many people never realize that just because there are shitty people out here that are out to use and throw people away, it doesn’t mean that we don’t take accountability for why we were targeted. I definitely had to realize some things about myself. Thanks for sharing.
@@hyperboliccc thanks for reading it all lol. I think sometimes after experiencing being with or being abused by someone very narcissistic, it’s easy to learn as much as possible about the disorder and the abuser and THEIR behaviors yet forget that we also need to be working on learning about and repairing the parts of ourselves that made us overly vulnerable to these types in the first place. After all, the only people we can truly change for the better is ourselves. Thanks again for reading my online novel. I hope you have a great new year.
I don’t have a big ego but after my last relationship I feel like I’m a narcissist. I’m trying to put into words what all I did to her but I cheated and gave up the first chance I had . She sacrificed so much for me and I took it all for granted. I wish I could go back and do things right with her I hate feeling like I hurt someone so much . I’m in another girls bed while I’m typing this up. Ps and I have a addiction to anything that will make me feel not like me ig . One of the main reasons she left. I didn’t use her for money or anything but Ik I did her wrong she loved me so much and Ik I’ll never have someone love me that much in my life again . I want it back 😢
I knew you were a man because you took accountability for your actions. It doesn't sound like narcissism buddy, it sounds like you were just either an impulsive horndog who has no self control. If you were a narcissist, you would be trying to frame it as her fault somehow, you would not take accountability, you would be the victim of this story, you wouldn't be talking about how your hurt her. This is not narcissism, just selfish behavior and probably a bad personality, you have issues other than narcissism.
You were never an narcissist in the first place. You were an asshole, abusive doesn’t mean you’re an narcissist. Only 10% of population are real narcissists….This narcissist term is been overused, it has no meaning anymore.
My ex narcissist thought he could keep coming back to me as he chose, and he could ,until he couldn't.I was a good supply in the way that I truly loved and cared about this man who caused me nothing but heartache and misery.
Don't forget to check out my other Channel! m.th-cam.com/users/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=chillin+with+joe
the narcissist cant replace you, but he can divide you into 2 channels, obviously ...
I don't believe he doesn't love me
@@labakanurzidil2464
^ another hater troll to ignore
0
mistydemaranville5119
I don't believe he doesn't love me
- you believe in love? why? i also wanted to believe "people are good", but i always felt the worst after such BS ... they want you to see them as good when they want to push some BS to you ... and i still have problem with it, maybe because i do the same ... everyone is a selfish egotist, right? and "joy" is always on costs of something/someone ... maybe that is why i always was afraid of emotions, thought they are dirty ... because they are (but maybe thinking are also emotions, ego) ... and i was afraid of being happy ... that i will get the opposite ... i think people really dont like/ignore when i am happy ... so i hope they dont mind if i do the same with their "joy" ...
so_what2
labakanurzidil2464
^ another hater troll to ignore
- i didnt ask you who are you, why are you spamming me, Goebbels? but i think you described yourself precisely ...
hapticsav3605
0
- also nice contradiction, "nothing", but still pushed itself here as "0" ...
My narcissist ex thought he could replace me after I loved him unconditionally. 1 year and a half later of no contact, he's now trying to come back into my life. Nope, I'm long gone✌️. He will never find another like me. He took me for granted. He now has to see that unfortunately.
Good job establishing your boundaries! Be proud and aware of your absolutely correct choice! I left mine after 16 years! Oof! Mine is getting plenty of lessons and accountability that were definitely not expected by him! I am thriving and have a life again!
This is why you dont love a companion unconditionally.
They think we will never leave them, that's one of the reasons they are attracted to us, we are Empaths, but we are also codependent and I was a chronic people pleaser until i wasn't. I thank the narcissist because they were put in my life to eventually wake me up so I can look after me the way I use to look after them. It started at birth, both my parents are narcissist, they programmed me to be codependent and a chronic people pleaser for their needs but I no longer allow narcissist into my life, I don't see my dad, my mum has passed away, im now free, took 55 years, but I'm free. ❤
Are you sure you wernt the narcissist?
Are you sure you wernt the narcissist?
when you leave a narcissist, your value becomes very obvious - they struggle with that because they’ve been downplaying it in your presence and now have no choice but to face it in your absence
💯
Very well put. I agree 300%❤❤❤
💯
Don't you know it's always greener on the other side
No contact is the best!
When you start getting educated, and know how they operate, you come to the amazing conclusion how predictable they are.. there is nothing authentic about them, they are a joke...
That PART 💯 Nola9Ward ⚜️💃🏽
Exactly! Same evil, just in a different body ..
Unless you have BPD and call yourself “super empath”, in this case the victim of the narcissist thinks they are entitled to save them and there is this terrible symbiosis until things get very ugly, unfortunately.
I think they just move on to the next victim and continue until they die
I think so too.
We are not victims. We are people with normal narc characteristics. We are abusers too. But soft ones. In balance. Just to say that qualify us as victims it's a little too much...
@@spectershore4482 There are no soft abusers, I abuse nobody, sorry, but I find your opinion strange and scary, it seems you try to justify your actions, which ever they might be. All the best to you, I don't require an answer.
They all end in the streets. Male and female. It always ends when the very last person, or cluster of people they’re hurting gets wise and NCs. That is unless they lied, cheated, and stole themselves a nest egg before that.
That indeed is what I have seen. They will settle and monkey branch. And many of them are lucky in the last phase of life
after 3 years of no contact, boom, I saw the ex in the grocery store.
"scott, how are you?!'....big smile of the face.
all I said was 'good' and kept walking. I went to grab one more thing, turned around and headed for the cashier. sure enough, the ex had circled around and was coming at me again. I cut a hard left, glanced at her face.....narc injury.
sure I got triggered but was pleasantly surprised I regulated so quickly.
so grateful...
cool video.
Same happened to me. Like a fear of seeing a ghost. You did well
Good for you Scott
I have been 5 years out now from the toxic ex..I have not seen him since..if I ran into him now I think I would react how you did..a year ago I would have lashed out at him so I definitely have made progress
only thing I would change is saying nothing....
@@user-tx5mm9cf5m
Handled like a boss. Nice move.
Yes, it’s just as HG Tudor has said. Narcissists don’t see you as a human being with feelings. They view you as an appliance for them to use. They don’t miss you, they miss what you can do for them. I went no contact with my older narcissist sister almost 10 years ago, after our mother died at 90. My life with my husband has Improved 1000%. The bottom line is, If you want a happy life, you need to ditch the narcissist asap & don’t look back. Enjoy your FREEDOM.❤
My ex narc literally wrote "it's an honor to be with me" in her WhatsApp profile. We were still together at the time but even then I was floored at just how delusional she was. "An honor? It's a fucking nightmare!"
Lol.
An ex sent me an email six weeks after I ended the relationship. She stated that I had just ruin the most perfect relationship. It took me a year to get her out of my house. She constantly yelled at me and interfered with my relationships with my two teenage kids. She lived with me rent free because she had massive credit card. Did she contribute to cleaning my home that I shared with her, NO. She would go to my work and attempted to get me fired after the break up. Her Smear Campaign included my family, friends, and co-workers. These creatures are a lost cause. Get out. Go No Contact.
Ha, reminds me when my narc sister claimed to be the perfect sister when I confronted her on her behavior. So laughable
I was the same....She said she was a trophy and she was the best I could get..
She was a fucking nightmare..
I told her she's a hasbeen 49 years granny
🤣🤣🤣🤣 they’re a joke aren’t they
They think people are replaceable because THEY are replaceable. They treat people like objects because THEY are objects. Narcissist project OFTEN, subconsciously, they KNOW that they do not have much to offer and thus blend in with most people. Which means they can be replaced easily. Hence, their insatiable need to be the best, the center of attention and basically worshiped
I know a narc. He is Always on searching for another supply. I wonder if they dont get tired 🤷🏻♀️?
Very Good Insight
@selenadrenalinperle7383 you cannot get tired of what fuels you. Supply is like air to them, I don’t know about anyone else, BUT I never get tired of breathing.
@barrijillzahn444 Thank you!
They always downplay you when they’re with you. I left my narc, and after he realized I wasn’t coming back, he started begging. It’s crazy because the reasons that normal people have for wanting someone back are not their reasons. If you REALLY listen to what they’re saying, you’ll hear the truth. Mine told me “I’m not going to find anybody like you.” And yes, he was right. He never will. He didn’t want me back because he loved me, he wanted me back because I was the best he’d ever do.
This! Mine told me -“ I have to be nice to you, or you want have sex with me. “
You hit the nail on the head. Whenever I asked my ex why he loved me, it was invariably about how great and powerful I made HIM feel, and how much I loved HIM and all the energy I gave HIM.
Peace be with you always
Praise Jesus
This comment couldn’t be more true
My Narc wont ever beg
“Not willing to be an object of their negative projection” .. 😮🥳🥳 bingo!!!
Absolutely!!
exactly!
💯
Keep on dreaming y’all. In real reality we feel no love and we never beg for love. My ex was flirting and cheating with another man, I started dating and found another woman too. It’s all eye for an eye. You don’t have to be a narcissist to cheat. I’m a diagnosed covert narcissist and honestly I have my best life to live, I work hard and make money, all the rest of the relationship s are bs made in thin ice
@@Vaticanrome Youre the man dawg. did you see the statement you replied too. Negative projection. Dont want to be no god damn bitch getting played by your crazy ass negative projection.
Lol
Its exhausting enough putting up with your daily Bullshit, treating me like im your mean daddy or that actual LOSER Ex that you cant seem to get over isnt worth the effort.
You all and me are not the same. Go on with your bad self cheating on each other and all that nasty BS. Im good. ✌️💯🙏
Bitter and unsatisfied with a new supply they don't really want but are unable to replace. Now that's Karma.
I believe that what is most memorable about any human being is how they made you feel! With that being said I do believe that a narcissist can absolutely miss the way a special individual MADE THEM FEEL! What human being wouldn't miss feeling safe, loved, and accepted? What person wouldn't miss someone who made them feel like they were connected to a light that helped them cope with the darkness inside of them? Just because a narcissist cannot love you right doesn't mean they cannot miss how you loved them!
I'm not sure about that. They're so bound up to hurt they don't realise we did love them
We must remember that one of the main traits of the narc disorder is that these creatures lack empathy. So things in their minds are not normal. They really don't care about or love anyone. Strange disorder. Stay away. HEAL God bless.
It's not the missed love it's the lying ,cheating ,and straight up ungratefulness.
I get what you mean. What they feel is, I think, irritation. They no longer have access to something they saw as a right. Like if your favourite restaurant closed.
They hate U 4 it, you loving them please
They don’t want to face the demons that bind them!
Exactly
Praise Jesus
@balderjohnson430
May I humbly ask you to explain your comment more fully? I am struggling to make sense of my marriage separation which will be ending in divorce soon, and as a God praising man cannot understand why this is happening other than demonic principalities playing into this destructive path we are on. My wife outright refuses to consider reconciliation in our marriage after she discarded me nearly a year ago. She too is a church member with a Christian upbringing. I am broken-hearted and hate divorce as God hates divorce. 💔
For those struggling re "God hates divorce". First you need to define what a marriage is. If you are married to a narc/socio. And, with respect to dark entity attachments, watch Denzo Moss or any other that explain this. It is real. The covert "shy" narc is the most subtle and dangerous. Why? They are the best as a result of the most powerful and VERY subtle, vile "demons". So insidious👹👿🤬
Why can’t people just be convinced that human beings CAN be outright evil without being possessed by demons? Because they can be. It’s not always fucking demons. Human beings are capable of being very disgusting.
You can be evil without having demons do it for you.
What would the harm be in admitting that Humans are just *that* horribly capable?
@johnthibodeaux5287
do better at defining exactly what you do and do not know and why you believe such things.
They dump on you and make you want to leave them. Only for them to immediately try to find your replacement. A smart individual would do everything in their power to keep a good person around so they wouldn't have to go back on the hunt. It's a vicious stupid cycle and existence for them.
Narcs live life looking in the rear view mirror! The only way they miss you is if you move on with your life and NEVER look back! You win and live life as if they were never a blip on your radar! Let em back in and it will be worse than ever!
He discarded me and tried to come back so I blocked him! I will never put up with such treatment ever again
I’m proud of you!!!!
Me n u both, never again
They believe the rebound will bring them the replacement they were looking for!
No they don't. They just look for relieve because the feeling of loosing control feels like dying to them.
@@nikiyubari8410 is that why they cry when the rebound dumps them?
Will never happen
The rebound feeds their ego
I’ve had two contact me. One dumped me for a doctor at our church while I was in a war zone. Six years later she messaged me out of the blue and invited me over to her house to do her raw. She was pregnant, so it wouldn’t matter was her reasoning. Two kids, with a third on the way, husband at a conference. She just didn’t feel a connection with him anymore.
A second just recently messaged me. She’s in her early 40’s, DINK, with a great husband. Not so great apparently. $500k a year, love, and fidelity cannot defeat a narcissists sense of entitlement and boredom.
It’s nuts.
Run Forrest Run
😳 wow
Demonic influence
Praise Jesus
Once you become a secondary supply you see how easily they cheat on their current supply with you and you come to the realization that they were doing it that whole time with you.
amazing info
29 years wasted. I gave it my all. So much damage to my children and me. We are finally free! The oppression has been lifted!
29 years for me too. God bless you and your children.
Congrats to you and @testingbabu406 both for your new found freedom. The scary part now is praying another doesn't written their way in. I was fooled again but caught it super quick and was able to disengage from the cycle. My best to you both ❤
27 years for me. I am free and life is good. Freedom is the goal
29 here also…
36 here
Narcopaths are worthless us survivors/empaths are priceless, never be tempted to go back, onwards and upwards.
Careful, That's exactly how a narcissist would look at their past.
Whoa profound @joeya289 they are delusional though! And cruel! You can healthily celebrate yourself and your boundaries ✨️
@@joeya289 there's a difference they are insane their brains don't function like a normal human.
Every aspect you have with a narc is YOU. The good, bad, and the ugly.
At first they’re a kid in a candy store - but overtime - hum - all people grow up & move on. And there lies the Narc that has no one that will put up with their crap anymore . They become sad, lonely, bitter and pitiful but still won’t reflect on their shortcomings
Very true
Wow! So true..and sad
Yes sad
The Bible puts it best this way: Judge yourself so that you wouldn't be judged.
It's like every other problem. A puzzle, once u got that figured out you can spot them from the 100 yard line.
Yes and I'm learning to trust my gut feeling when I meet new people.
It took me almost a decade to heal from trauma bonding from narcissistic relationship..I loved her,trusted her more than anything else in this world..the way she discarded me was brutal, she wasn't answering my calls and suddenly talk to me as I was stranger in front of her new supply..time won't heal you, you need therapy to heal.. educate yourself about NPD would make you understand more and heal much faster
Felt this
Just now going through this. He left me two weeks after celebrating our 23yr anniversary.
I've moved on to something healthy, stable, secure, and beautiful and I feel that she'll always be stuck right where I left her.
He'll never find this kind of quality, real love.
Sure they can´t because we were great people to use (sadly). But once we have enough and realize the game - we finally step up and speak: Game over! And I personally doesn´t care if I am replaced or not - I am free and in peace and that is the most important for me. NEVER AGAIN!
Best comment 💯
Yessss, I second this comment. I just left my narcissist of 5 years very recently and I'm just glad to have my peace for my 2 sons and I. Who cares if he tries to replace me because the way I see it is he's just going to be a migraine and parasite for the next person. I'm free from bondage!!!
Narcissists need to be replaced.
Always💯💯
I hope my ex regrets losing me . I gave everything I had to her which wasnt much to begin with but I gave everything to her. I really loved/ love her.
They don’t 😂
You’ll be replaced like the guy she replaced you with.
Beat to get through the anger stage and go to proper healing ( therapy for codependency and childhood wounding. Where you learn why you tolerated crap. Put up with abuse. And then start the shift to healthy boundaries. Focus on self. And detox from the chemical highs and lows )
I feel the same. I invested in "us". I really loved him. And, it became so necessary to end it. That was very painful but I did it. I knew he wouldn't as long as he could keep "using" me.
@@nji7772 I'm sorry my friend
I did too and they took it for granted, used me as free childcare and took pleasure in criticising my every move.
The whole “giving slightly more in the investment phase to secure a person long term” absolutely nailed my experience.
Hope they regret is ego. I was there. What is done is done. Forgive yourself. What you gave wasn’t wrong. Doing so without boundaries or accepting little or nothing in return is what was. Acceptance that your efforts to convince them of your worthiness only caused them to deem you worthless. Hope I made sense. I wasted two years repairing my self inflicted damage.
Saw this comment on an other vid. Explains it perfectly. "They are opposite people. The hoover is the courtship. The love bombing is the hate. The relationship is the divorce. The discard is the marriage".
👍👍👍
Damnnnn that was deep
Totally accurate!
If they have money they will never be alone, and they know that.
But the potency of the supply will plumeth down, 80-90-95% 😂.
A regular victim is not enough for them. It’s like eating junkfood. They need the empath’ fuel to reacharge.
Or high status victims. But these most often figure them out and go no contact
They want the best strong and confident
Exactly, my ex has money and he finds single struggling moms that need him
@@user-qs5hz4mf3p A " trophy wife, husband" + with zero abillity to see red flags ( this is the most important trait they are looking after).
@@lisarivera4730 And you picked him for money :)
So other women will also pick him for money :)
So all you're doing is revealing female nature :)
But you think you're portraying HIM in the negative light :)
Ahhh women
This is why, having a founation in truth in Jesus, a narcsissitic person cannot stand.
Most people have these traits. Its called having a wicked soul.
A contradiction good. We live in a world full of people like this.
Battles are expected, and I do not mind being the one to tell them enough is enough.
Bad behavior will not be tolerated.
Stand your ground, dont argue. Just make your point.
Let them make a fool of themselves
Thank you.
He neglected and ignored me so much near the end. I knew he was talking to other women and on dating apps again, it’s the same cycle, same behaviours. I’ve always been the dependable backup because I endured his bad behaviour and stuck around. I thought I could help him.
I constantly felt invisible, worthless.
I reached breaking point and ghosted him a week ago and each day that passes I can see the real him more clearly. How fake it all was, how intentional the hurtful games were, even though he insisted he would never want to hurt me.
This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to leave but it will be the last.
You were the same typical weak doormat. Are you kidding Narky wants the strong confident person but always end up with the same
I feel you, went through the same thing.
@@SkyePhoenix
I’m so sorry to hear that and I really hope you are free of the abuse now and living your best life! ❤️🩹
Same for me..i hope you stay strong
@@smallypuppy22
So far so good. Watching lots of videos and journaling and leaning heavily on trusted friends. This time is different, I told a select few close friends EVERYTHING. Before that I had kept it all secret because I was ashamed and knew things were toxic. I hope you’re doing ok, sending strength back to you! ⚡️♥️⚡️
I seem to have a PHD in NPD now, and This is an Excellent Post, Yeah i Knew all along that he didn't know i was irreplaceable, but i Know Damn Well even though hes a Narcissist he Knows it now!!! Anyone Who has a Relationship with These Creatures Knows How much BS You put up with from them and its Never Ever Worth it!!!
lol, i really like that post and all so true. I had little idea of what I was going through with my ex unitl I left him and then stumbled across vidoes about narc's and it all made sense to me and helped me heal. for them tho......no video will help them,ever!
My narcissistic husband dreams of being a bachelor again because, in his head, he'll be free to have house parties, and his friends would visit him left and right and he'll be the life of the party. But in the 7 years that I've been with him--and from what he's told me about his past--he's lonely; no one visits, not even his "friends" or family.... But I'm making his dreams come true by making a career change so my children and I can be financially independent of him.
Go for it. Make your own money and leave with your kids one day. Then his party starts. Make sure you're out of sight by then and start your happy life.
You are putting videos of your baby up to get views, you have tons of them on your channel. This is worse than narcissism, the baby cannot give consent and the baby does not have the ability to leave. You have transcended diagnosis and entered the realm of child abuse.
That’s honestly sad. It’s embarrassing and cringe how many of them don’t notice how pathetic their reality actually is in comparison with the false dream reality they’ve come up with in their head. Mine thought he’d be rich and famous, even though all he did all day was sleep, eat, and talk shit.
Lol- mine discarded me and our children (after 30+ yrs together), for his new set of 'friends' and supply. They started a band and believe they're gonna be geriatric rock stars. 😂 ok. Y'all go ahead and knock yourselves out. These people are ridiculous.
Praise Jesus
Just dealt with one and this video popped up out of nowhere. 😊 when you finally block them and start to remember how great you actually are, nothing beats that. Nothing.
The time you realize, that they mirroing you and you fell in Love with you 😂😂😂.
I have put my narcissist husband in prison.
After 2 years of psychological and physical abuse, behind his back I went to the police station. The same evening he was under arrest and now he's awaiting trial in custody.
I went no contact. Nada.
He tried to write a letter to me but the prosecutor kept it as husband wrote stuff that can be used as evidence.
I still think of the pikachu face he must have made on the day of the arrest. Prior to that he'd told me that "after 48hrs he'd walk free", so what would be the point to bother the cops.
Glad you're safe
Proud of you
You stood up for yourself
I spent 10 years with mine and he deserves that too
“It’s not like a packet of M&Ms…you want some more…you get a few more…”😂😂
😂😂😂😂 underrated commemt😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
They need to start teaching a course on how to avoid NARCS in high school. There are alot of people being traumatized by them on a daily basis and thats not good for society at large. Including whole nations......think about it USA the whole world is watching............
If you are worried about it, then that means you still care. That's why I don't worry about it.
You wouldn’t be here then…
Do I look up plans how to build rocket ships. Nope. Because it has no meaning or feeling or any aspiration to me
@@ssing7113 Exactly. I try to make the point as well. People need to own their grief and grow into healing.
Exactly. When my ex said to me that he liked it when I was upset as it let him know that I sill cared. That was the moment I began to detach, not respond emotionally to anything that he said (designed to upset me anyway), and hard as it was, began to confront gently but seriously all that I had been keeping within. I knew I had to do that or he would not ever leave me alone. "I need you" "I am addicted to you" "I will never leave you alone". All lies of course. I did not fall for any of the "false words" of BS. I am not saying it was easy. At the end, I was even sick with a stomach problem but that went away within one week once I did the deed. Your body screams when your heart and mind battle to no end.
@@justpdeamen
I want to say thank you. Your message was a review of what I needed to hear. The narc that was in my life for 13 years is doing all those things. And everyday I struggle with missing him. So I listen to stuff like this constantly. I do it to remind myself that I’m slowly moving from survivor to thriver. One day at a time. Your voice is calming as well. I enjoyed your message. Thank you.
Dr. Ramani had a video that talked about this, she said if you find yourself "remembering the good times" of the narc, make an "Ick-list" of all the horrible and bad things they've done to you and went through eith them. Look back at that list as a reminder that you are free and deserve better. ❤🙏
I had the chance to let narcissist back in. After remarrying and blocking me, giving the appearance that I was crazy. After she left him, he now wants to contact me again. There are no good memories. I know now that the good was just fake him, to win me over in the beginning. He showed me the real him, real good!!
I wasted five years of my life with a covert narcissist because I didn’t even know what it was until someone pointed it out. The problem there is, you could never get those years back that meant nothing. Then suddenly shuttered. Never known such a cold person. Just shows that love can be blind.
Thanks Joe!
What I have a hard time comprehending is this:
They hate themselves, they have no self esteem, they’re full of self loathing, super insecure…. How is it that they also have a God complex and feel like even when they look at someone that person should get weak in the knees? I get the confidence is a part of the false self, but how then do they “think” they’re so high and mighty rather than just “acting” high and mighty? Hope this makes some sense. Thank you!
They're demons
@@shawnmarie1912 true…true.
Bc they are delusional. They believe their lies. But! There are mirrors everywhere that remind them of their shallow existence. They take the hit- project the pain unto someone else and keep charging..it’s a repetitive cycle. Sad existence.
@@goldenbreeze6618 hot damn that was a great explanation, thanks a lot. That makes total sense. Ew gross. Talk about sad. Never ever being even capable to look inward. Like a trash can that only half the trash (I’m being generous) is taken out every time. The bottom half just sits and rots and stinks and you just wanna know what the hell that smell is and where it’s coming from… it’s coming from the smelly Narc.
@@Ehuff Yw excellent analogy 😝
I once dated a narcissist in middleschool. At first I believed things were fine, that she loved me, and I loved her. But it was too late when I realized that all of the people who told me that she was a terrible person, were right. She cheated on me but I was so enfatuated, young, stupid, that I simply welcomed her back with open arms. She showed little emotion towards me, and only ever talked to me if she had to, or if i complained that we never spoke. She would get angry at me if I got upset about something that she did or said towards me. My feelings never mattered to her, and she knew that I was in love, but she saw it all as an intricate game to tug me along. Her mother was also a narcissist, and as most of you know, narcissists are made. Not born. Her and her mother were very alike, but got into fights alot, yelled, sometimes got physical, lied to each other, and to me about each other to try and make the other seem worse or better off alone. It was near summer break leading into highschool that I finally realized my mistake in being with her and when I broke up with her, she still acted as if we were dating, getting all cuddly with me, talking to me as if I was her lover. It became tiring and I just wanted to be alone, but that was her goal. She wanted me to feel like everyone was against us, against me. And for awhile I believed that, until I finally broke free from that mindset and moved on. And let me tell you, that really pissed her off. She instantly went from "Loving" me to furiously hating me, spreading lies and rumors that no one believed, and sending me terrible messages to unaliive myself or to lock myself away so no one had to deal with me. I was down in the dumps for a long time, not really having anyone to help me move forward, but eventually I pulled myself out and I'm 20, have an amazing girlfriend, and I'm happier than ever. I know this was long but please, anyone who needs to hear this. You are your own person. You are beautiful and intelligent, you make your own decisions and if anyone tries to take that away, then they are not the person you want to be around, cut them off and move on. Don't feel bad, don't look back. I made that mistake already.
😢 im not sure how to start to let go, thats the thing.
I really need someone to talk too bout same. Un explanable feeling. Im drowning, empty, felt abuse but still here
@@JULIABARIUANfew months back i was in the same situation , like yours
alot of pain , anxiety , frustration but i thing i realise 1 thing lately after 3 month of this , which really helped me move on . from that emotional attachment , which give me all of these anxiety and all .
Truth👍👌.. an they end up playing themselves’💁♀️😆
They can regret losing you but I guarantee if you gave them a chance, they will treat you the same as they did before. Let them live with their pain instead of causing you pain again!
💯💯💯
This is true I gave my narc ex another chance and she still had no respect for me. Atleast its what I needed to see to finally cut ties and move on.
Confident, calm reassuring voice. Everything you’ve said in this video makes sense, 1 year no contact 🙌🙌 narcissism awareness 🎉
You’re still counting time “since”. Consider contemplating that. No judgement. I was guilty of the same.
Just found your videos. Love them
Wish you would talk more about codependency and childhood wounding so people can properly heal
Thank you I agree 👍
I got a birthday hoover three weeks past my birthday. Sent gifts and a card, after two years of no contact its was placed in the trash with the rest of the garbage.
You are so insightful and encouraging Joe! Thank you🙏
Healing the narcissist is also a dilemma that is complex and probably not truly possible
I feel I am a narcissist myself, why is it that it's not possible to learn a new way to behave and perceive the word?
You can heal Crazeefish. I've seen it happen with Jesus, I sure have. You can be delivered from anything and any demon with the Lord Jesus Christ. ❤praying you Delivered from this demon, It's just hindering your true you, When you do see it all as what it really is, a trick. All the lying, no caring nature...any of this, just a plot to keep you from feeling real joy. Praying it helps to know. I've seen it happen. He is awesome and still learning, but he is doing it with Jesus
A frienemy and I went to dinner one evening and she evidently told the X where we were going. He walked in, and I guess he thought I’d fly into his arms. But I gave a little half wave and he then walked to the bar. We left and she said she felt awkward but I felt nothing except disappointed that she would betray my friendship.
He passed away in the hospital, alone, of the popular disease when they weren’t allowing visitors. He told me he started smoking to punish his wife who got pregnant by another man. I’m sad for all who were traumatized by this evil guy, especially his ex and her son.
It’s happened with my daughter. Her father is a diagnosed sociopath narcissist. She became his flying monkey after a life of being ignored by him and supported by me. I have had to recognize she was using me, gaslighting me, projecting on me. I had to let go when I realized how much DAMAGE she was doing to me emotionally, financially and verbally. I hope she realizes I was there at her darkest moments when no one else was.
You don't leave your children. You try and see it from their point of view and recognize you made mistakes raising them that sticks with them and you might think you did everything right but you couldn't have or you wouldn't be having this problem. You are the momma and it's your responsibility to never give up and never stop loving them. Maybe she's pissed at you and isn't able to tell you in a healthy manner. Perhaps some therapy together would help. Please reach out to your daughter and tell her your sorry for hurting her and you want to work it out, that's your baby!
How old is she? Beyond 20? She is no baby!
You are allowed to leave your adult children if they are abusing you. This lady has raised her daughter and is now being abused. Why should she allow herself to be used and abused. Walk away.
@@gillc9773 come on now, think about this WITH YOUR BRAIN, if she has raised these children WITH their BEST interest at heart and NOT HER OWN, why would such a child turn on their mother? Please use your brain. Trauma creates trauma and vengeance
@@Emily_CiKDo you actually have kids (with a narcissist) ? Because if you've never had kids and tried to coparent with a narcissist... you'll never understand. They will try anything and everything to turn your children against you.
I really appreciate your channel!
Thanks for this. It was exactly what I needed to hear
@7:53, when you called the victim(s),"the supply robot", that was just the perfect description!
That's exactly how it feels.
When they realize they cant replace you. They try to destroy you so nobody else can have you
Many thanks Joe! Your videos are like some poetry ❤
This really is a very well-put-together video/message! 🤙 Very good message.
Thank you. Needed to hear this tonight. Been a while since no contact and this helped.
Thank you, this makes me feel a little better about myself now. 18 years of learning how to play the game and now in the discard stage . It really hurts after being told how horrible I am and that I will never find anyone as good as him that would put up with me . Broken and crushed right now .
You are 100% right this is a great video I wanted to mention one thing from my 9 years of experience dealing with true clinical narcissists they always have someone lined up before they disgard you but this is always not well planned out and they are easily tricked by players after the narcissist realizes the new person is not giving them the supply they need and that you can't be replaced they will lower there standards in looks social status ect just to get someone to give them supply. If you are a 8 in the dating market place they will find a 3 or 4 just for temporary supply and stay with them until they monkey branch to a better model. They also move to different areas where knowone knows them for better chance of finding new victims.
After losing my feelings for the narcissist and realizing she was truly an evil person and a terrible friend, I stuck around and put up with her for about another 6 months. Until finally deciding I’m not going to put up with her anymore, and I know she knows I’m onto her and don’t fall for her bs anymore.
We ended up getting into our final argument where I told her “after all these years you kept mistreating me so much you’ve never been a friend to me. You’ve only used me for sex, so that’s all you are worth to me, you’re useful for nothing else. Don’t ever message me anymore unless you want to have sex” and then I haven’t heard from her at all since last year.
It’s crazy how extremely promiscuous women get offended when you point out their promiscuity and call them out for it.
Narcs are ten times more sensitive than non narcs… check ‘em and they resign😂
You sound like the narcissist here.
“You’ve only used me for sex” you say… then proceeded to end the message with “don’t ever message me anymore, unless you want to have sex” lol.
You think that’s actually normal healthy behaviour? You’ve clearly objectified this person too. You just unmasked yourself. Lol
When your abusive ex says youll never find someone to love you like I do, your right! That wasnt love. Ive moved on. I found a great man, an amazing man who i dont feel like i have to walk on eggshells every day, who actually shows me affection, and we treat each other right. Hes a cop as well.
I stayed with my ex for 7 years trying to make things work to no avail. It was not worth the physical and mental abuse. Ive never made a better choice to leave him and move on. I love my man to death and feel blessed to have someone who actually loves me back. Til death do us part ❤❤❤
Leaving the people who are bad for you is hard, but things can be so much better. Dont give up hope 😊
The reality if it is "They miss you". I don't think it's purely their need for supply... Sometimes they miss you. But revenge is best served cold and they did it to themselves and Oh so deservedly so. I like your voice. My first time here. Thank you.
Been there. Done that. The only way to overcome is acceptance of one’s accountability. I allowed what I shouldn’t have. Trauma is a kind way of describing one’s severely damaged ego. (My view doesn’t consider heinous acts on innocent people).
Very excellent sound advice!! Thank you so much!
So much appreciate this. So much resonates to a relationship that just ended. They actually call themselves a ‘victim’ after 2 solid months of taking not even giving a little in return. Agree with ‘after a while it’s unsustainable’ and ‘of course you shouldn’t go back’. Thank you Joe ! God led me to your video. He really did.
🎶 oh Mandy, you came and you gave me without taking, and I sent you away, oh Mandy 🎶 basically if this video was a song!
I took care of my ex-narc’s life for 30 years. Not any more!!! I’m done! Good luck to him😂
unfortunately that’s what us people pleasers (givers )do We let the narcissist suck all the energy out of this. Once you realize what’s going on, then you can change.
Thank you so much for video. I m just out of such relationship. It still hurts, actually hurts a lot. So I m learning about those kind of people, and info you put about their behavior is crucial for me not to believe that they are sorry. I love this guy and without learning and analyzing many videos that I watched by now, I could come back no matter what. Not from now.
Appreciate ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️
Thank you for this important and uplifting message. ❤❤❤
Thank you so much - needed to hear this 🙂
That was beautiful, thank you for making this and providing clarity to those like myself that someone healthy out there for me will value those qualities about me and love me for ME and not my supply. ❤🙏 9 months no contact with my narc ex-boyfriend, feeling so free and happy. I feel like i have hope and a second chance in life and theres something to look forward to. Im happy i can freely be around my friends, family, and church without having that walking on eggshells or afraid of making the narc mad feeling.
One of the best videos I've heard about narcissistic relationships by far. The voice of the individual giving this information is also calming. 👌🏻 Thank you for making this video. ❤🎉
Great video. I cut out some narcissists that were friends and in my religion. I haven't looked back since.
Love this❤. Thank you 😊
Outstanding presentation !!!
Thank you so much !!!
First moments listening to you Joe and I am eternally grateful for your support!
thanks for this. my gf who is a narc walked out in 4 years together. this helped me to recover. thank u
This is toxic advise. Narcissists will stop no sooner than a serial killer will. They will never ever care especially when they think you are stupid enough to believe they will. Cut your losses and get away now! Every minute you spend trying to rationalize it, the weaker your support network becomes! Get out before your health declines and they become your care giver. Seriously, because the ptsd you are facing in the wake of this horror is more than anyone deserves. The road gets longer and more treacherous with denial. Get Out!
I guess that what the video aims to achieve is kind of a compensation for those people who suffered with a narcissist. The point is not to play games with a narcisist, but to face that maybe getting away from them is the greatest pain that one can cause. For some of them, the thought of being alone is really terrifying. And no, narcissists won't stop. They'll regret it, but not for the right reasons, you know?
For me the greatest mistake you can make is think that narcissists actually care about you. They don't, and that's very clear if you racionalize and undertand it before move on (or else you may fall into the trap again)
Thanks man I needed that..😢
Wow this is a wake up call I needed
You clearly understand exactly what its like for the narciasist and his "object". Delivered in tbis quiet calm voice. Really modest (nice voice btw) .with these magical pictures . I recognised every single word you said.. They are all true.. Yiu have a singularly differrnt approach to how you deliver a very truthful insigh and i was acknowledging every word you said all the way through. It was such a relief to know what its like.. really for both sides and i think you are accurate with a unique presentation style. .
I have discovered your channel. I find myself back tracking on my level of contact with two sets of individuals who also triangulated me. It’s been a steep learning Cur I’ve to recognise those moments where I forget and see them as I want them to be rather than understand they are who they are and they are definitely not my friends. You don’t hurt the people you love. So this push pull dynamic to keep you invested is tough to break. Break it I shall.
Thoughtful presentation. Really nicely done. Respect .
Thank you very much... I needed this.
The NPD divorced that me came back after 29 years ago found me on Internet saying I want my husband back….No you made a Decision now live with it Have nice life but not with me.
because of narcissists i have lost my empathy myself, they actually made me stronger....and i stopped being emotional......
Mine trained me very well,which made him thoroughly spoilt. After 30 yrs when it was over, he immediately went out to replace me. He still hasn't 5 yrs later, and he's been getting through literally hundreds of women looking for one with everything he'd drummed into me over the years..but he cant find her..
What did he drum into you
@warrenraglin5502 That he's right, that i wear what he likes, when the kids were ill he blamed me, or didn't believe them, he'd take me to his family abroad and just leave me there surrounded by strangers, he took the piss out of me when I was upset when my brother was dying, that fipped my switch..and it stayed off. The kids begged me to leave him. I should have done it sooner, for them.
@@K.j.h.279 You're not just a red flag, you're a whole communist parade.
I feel like narcissists who fancy themselves victims would be drawn to videos like this.
This guy I dealt with was very narcissistic. His bm left him and it didn’t take long for him to try and make me her replacement. I immediately recognized the behavior as a test to see if I would be a suitable replacement because he did a few things like try and gaslight me, try and give me fake validation by telling me how much I meant to him and that he loved me, tried to degrade me and my ability to find an actual decent man after I rejected him for anything “serious.” If a narcissist seems to be looking for something “serious” with you then beware that you need to tighten up somethings about yourself. They only want that with people they can use. I told him why would you think I ever wanted to be in her shoes?? Especially after you spoke about her to me the way you did and admitted all the things you did to her!?You’re an occasional good time on a very superficial level and that’s it. It’s not easy to find a fool who cares enough to jump through all your hoops and want to be on the short end of a one sided system and that person is not me. He really thought someone that naive and willing to tolerate him was going to be easy to replace. 😅😅😅I told him if I had someone in my life who literally let me do whatever I wanted and was still always there for me I would hold on to that person for dear life. I ended things shortly after and I’m willing to bet my bottom dollar that he has tried to recycle her back into his life by now. The only way to deal with a narcissist is on a very superficial level and with the realization and behavior that shows them they are not special in any meaningful way worth investing anything more than that.
What you said about there being things you need to tighten up about yourself is SO TRUE. And many people never realize that just because there are shitty people out here that are out to use and throw people away, it doesn’t mean that we don’t take accountability for why we were targeted. I definitely had to realize some things about myself. Thanks for sharing.
@@hyperboliccc thanks for reading it all lol. I think sometimes after experiencing being with or being abused by someone very narcissistic, it’s easy to learn as much as possible about the disorder and the abuser and THEIR behaviors yet forget that we also need to be working on learning about and repairing the parts of ourselves that made us overly vulnerable to these types in the first place. After all, the only people we can truly change for the better is ourselves. Thanks again for reading my online novel. I hope you have a great new year.
This is like perfect, down to earth advice, spoken by a friend. Thank YOU Joe. Stay blessed ❤
Edit.. your voice is so calming 🙏🏼
I don’t have a big ego but after my last relationship I feel like I’m a narcissist. I’m trying to put into words what all I did to her but I cheated and gave up the first chance I had . She sacrificed so much for me and I took it all for granted. I wish I could go back and do things right with her I hate feeling like I hurt someone so much . I’m in another girls bed while I’m typing this up. Ps and I have a addiction to anything that will make me feel not like me ig . One of the main reasons she left. I didn’t use her for money or anything but Ik I did her wrong she loved me so much and Ik I’ll never have someone love me that much in my life again . I want it back 😢
I'm so sorry Trey, It's all a learning process, there are other good girls out there, you will find her
I knew you were a man because you took accountability for your actions. It doesn't sound like narcissism buddy, it sounds like you were just either an impulsive horndog who has no self control. If you were a narcissist, you would be trying to frame it as her fault somehow, you would not take accountability, you would be the victim of this story, you wouldn't be talking about how your hurt her.
This is not narcissism, just selfish behavior and probably a bad personality, you have issues other than narcissism.
This video was really helpful thank u 🥺
Everyone is replaceable to a narcissist.
But a day comes we eventually reap what we sow.
Not really💯💯
@@ikechukwuobiajuluonweluzo762All narcissist end up old and alone if they dont die for some other reason. They never win thier own game in the end.
May God bless you for making this video
I'm a narcissist and a domestic abuser I'm not afraid to admit it... I have learned the hard way and making changes to myself
What do you think made you that way. Is it not just selfishness?
Woahhhhh. Damn. Good for u! 👏🙌
Good for you and all the best in your recovery from this undesirable behavior
You were never an narcissist in the first place. You were an asshole, abusive doesn’t mean you’re an narcissist. Only 10% of population are real narcissists….This narcissist term is been overused, it has no meaning anymore.
My ex narcissist thought he could keep coming back to me as he chose, and he could ,until he couldn't.I was a good supply in the way that I truly loved and cared about this man who caused me nothing but heartache and misery.
Thank you ! Sir
Yes this is true I am like this and it needs to change