As humans and being social animals i think we all seek human connection.. or 'friends', but what we really specifically want in a 'friend' really differs depending on what kind of an individual you are, so i think you hit the nail on the head with the 'know thyself'. You have to really know what YOU specifically want, right, because otherwise you don't actually have a motivation to want to have friends, and it's just that for some (or most) people, that kind of motivation comes more naturally to them and they don't really need to 'figure out' anything. So i think your, say, MBTI type is really important part of that equation too (as well as your, you know, Zodiac sign and all that). Also these days i think it's more so about having followers/subscribers than having 'friends' maybe so that sort of relationship landscape has changed. But in any case, i think it's important to figure out or decide for yourself why you need friends at all and what they mean to you, or what they really bring to the table on a personal level.
All my friends who got married dont have time much anymore, especially for me who is still alien style because i am still single. My few present friends are single too. And finally we go thru life alone and die alone. Sad. But depends a bit how much i open up to new people. So a bit i can control my loneliness though i not expect it will change fundamentally because of many different reasons and struggles in life, espcially when getting older.
The reality itself is changing ... there are some mysteries going on , you look very cool and feel alone ... I know I am a cool , talented person , but I also happen to be very alone we are left thinking on our past relationships childhood friends etc .... we cant find another humans to relate to , what would be the goal of reaching a well paid job and a life full of responsabilities ? I am just trying to enjoy life now .... i am tired of all drama
I mean be realistic...we have family obligations, work 40 hours a week not including transport or commutes, then only have two days weekends off that most of us would rather use for family time. If you add friendship obligations into this mix, you can slowly see why it becomes exhausting. Its not that we don't want friendships, its just it takes a fourth maybe fifth slot in the priority list, and as such, it becomes a slightly neglected area in most adult life.
it is hard if you don't actively search. out of 100 approaches, you may vibe with 1, but if you dont get that number up, how will you reach that 1 whom you vibe with? you gotta do the work
Friendship in a increasingly evil, fake, ultra competitive world. It's like squid games, hunger games and all the other movies of that genre. Your "best friend" is the one that will stab you in the back now. Good luck.
Welcome to discovering your true introvert nature: Energy becomes your new currency and as you get older, you realize that this ressource is more and more sparse & recharging takes more and more time. This is also one reason why small talk seems so wasteful. In general you understand that since all ressources are finite for us, there's no point in spreading yourself to thin (ties in with the friendship concept). This understading won't keep you from wasting vast chunks on time - for example by writing terribly long comments on YT to somehow justify your procrastination. You realize you're what others describe as an overthinker, as most people are extroverts who like to have an open thoughtproces, whereas you want a closed one, meaning you like to think things through on your own and someone else offering their opinion is mainly a disturbance. You come to understand that a real friend is a long term investment, not just somebody you meet under circumstances where you spend time together, like work or vacation. You also become more and more cynical when most of these investments fail; as you see that people in the western world at least, has forgotten what commitment, loyalty and trust means. They couldn't be bothered because instant gratification has undermined all this. Okay, that's enough of that. Thanks for posting.
Don't live in a huge city. Live in a large town so that you have less traffic but still enough jobs to sustain the local economy. Live as close to work as possible. In other words, cut that commute. If possible, work at a mid sized company not a huge Amazon sized one. Or work for the government. You get better hours and sometimes 3 days off instead of 2. Makes an enormous difference in getting more time.
i totally agree but sometimes it seems like i'm the only one investing into the friendship, i thought about maybe 'breaking up' but i know how much they need their friend right now, when they have a very rough time but it kills me, that even when i give small clear signs or kinda tell them that i need their help it seems like i don't know, as if they are not seeing it
I like your conclusion about having common goals being necessary for building friendships. Once you leave school, having to spend your time commuting, at your job, and taking care of yourself means you have no time left for pursuing common activities with other human beings. On top of that, most common activities that people spend time on are often superficial, thus leading to superficial relationships. This is what Marx meant by alienation. What makes us human is working together towards a common goal, yet we spend our time working for the capitalists with no personal investment in what we do. This is why we need communism.
have you ever heard this taught on a tv show: Friends are equals? You mentioned CS Lewis. Holy Bible teaches: Proverbs 13:20 says this: King James Bible He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. I know this for a fact. only God knows who your real friends are. People can get jealous of other people very easily. If I share good news with someone, they might be happy outwardly but actually harbor jealousy inside and as a result, some of these people might seek to destroy me. Have you ever heard of the topic soul ties? Imagine if every person you met formed a soul tie?
maybe you loner cause maybe you say things that are complete truthful you speak on thing that other don't really want to speak on it like when you have friends you speak on thing that are partial so the can say stuff further to you or something to speak on i think people in a indirect sense love having problem so they can have something to complain about.
My circle of friends has gotten smaller and smaller, where now I have a couple of friends that I keep in touch with every now and then
I could listen to you talk all day, you're such a great speaker!
Same here 😊
As humans and being social animals i think we all seek human connection.. or 'friends', but what we really specifically want in a 'friend' really differs depending on what kind of an individual you are, so i think you hit the nail on the head with the 'know thyself'. You have to really know what YOU specifically want, right, because otherwise you don't actually have a motivation to want to have friends, and it's just that for some (or most) people, that kind of motivation comes more naturally to them and they don't really need to 'figure out' anything. So i think your, say, MBTI type is really important part of that equation too (as well as your, you know, Zodiac sign and all that). Also these days i think it's more so about having followers/subscribers than having 'friends' maybe so that sort of relationship landscape has changed. But in any case, i think it's important to figure out or decide for yourself why you need friends at all and what they mean to you, or what they really bring to the table on a personal level.
nice video! I liked what you said about having to understand yourself first in order to know what you want in friendships or even in life.
All my friends who got married dont have time much anymore, especially for me who is still alien style because i am still single. My few present friends are single too. And finally we go thru life alone and die alone. Sad. But depends a bit how much i open up to new people. So a bit i can control my loneliness though i not expect it will change fundamentally because of many different reasons and struggles in life, espcially when getting older.
The reality itself is changing ... there are some mysteries going on , you look very cool and feel alone ... I know I am a cool , talented person , but I also happen to be very alone we are left thinking on our past relationships childhood friends etc .... we cant find another humans to relate to , what would be the goal of reaching a well paid job and a life full of responsabilities ? I am just trying to enjoy life now .... i am tired of all drama
I mean be realistic...we have family obligations, work 40 hours a week not including transport or commutes, then only have two days weekends off that most of us would rather use for family time. If you add friendship obligations into this mix, you can slowly see why it becomes exhausting. Its not that we don't want friendships, its just it takes a fourth maybe fifth slot in the priority list, and as such, it becomes a slightly neglected area in most adult life.
it is hard if you don't actively search. out of 100 approaches, you may vibe with 1, but if you dont get that number up, how will you reach that 1 whom you vibe with? you gotta do the work
This was such a great video! You are doing such a good job with the edits as well!
its hard to find friends in general unfortunately
4:01 I noticed Sia is wearing a watch that is not her era's
adulting sucks, just wasting time and energy working, or preparing to work, or recovering from work.
Friendship in a increasingly evil, fake, ultra competitive world. It's like squid games, hunger games and all the other movies of that genre. Your "best friend" is the one that will stab you in the back now. Good luck.
That's a very strange and disturbing take on friendship. Not sure who hurt you but I hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck on your journey
lol happened to my dude betrayed me over a girl that we both like sadly that girl hated him haha dude betrayed me for nothing.
❤
i just feel people have become more selfish
Welcome to discovering your true introvert nature:
Energy becomes your new currency and as you get older, you realize that this ressource is more and more sparse & recharging takes more and more time. This is also one reason why small talk seems so wasteful. In general you understand that since all ressources are finite for us, there's no point in spreading yourself to thin (ties in with the friendship concept). This understading won't keep you from wasting vast chunks on time - for example by writing terribly long comments on YT to somehow justify your procrastination.
You realize you're what others describe as an overthinker, as most people are extroverts who like to
have an open thoughtproces, whereas you want a closed one, meaning you like to think things through on your own and someone else offering their opinion is mainly a disturbance.
You come to understand that a real friend is a long term investment, not just somebody you meet under circumstances where you spend time together, like work or vacation. You also become more and more cynical when most of these investments fail; as you see that people in the western world at least, has forgotten what commitment, loyalty and trust means. They couldn't be bothered because instant gratification has undermined all this.
Okay, that's enough of that. Thanks for posting.
5:44 Well if that's true, and you want to start a Discord and build a like minded community of people I'll join 🙂
Don't live in a huge city. Live in a large town so that you have less traffic but still enough jobs to sustain the local economy. Live as close to work as possible. In other words, cut that commute. If possible, work at a mid sized company not a huge Amazon sized one. Or work for the government. You get better hours and sometimes 3 days off instead of 2. Makes an enormous difference in getting more time.
It takes time and effort to develop a friendship. It seems people are unwilling to invest in both.
i totally agree but sometimes it seems like i'm the only one investing into the friendship, i thought about maybe 'breaking up' but i know how much they need their friend right now, when they have a very rough time but it kills me, that even when i give small clear signs or kinda tell them that i need their help it seems like i don't know, as if they are not seeing it
oh it's okay Sia, if I was your friend I would think long term friendship
Ill be your friend
I like your conclusion about having common goals being necessary for building friendships. Once you leave school, having to spend your time commuting, at your job, and taking care of yourself means you have no time left for pursuing common activities with other human beings. On top of that, most common activities that people spend time on are often superficial, thus leading to superficial relationships. This is what Marx meant by alienation. What makes us human is working together towards a common goal, yet we spend our time working for the capitalists with no personal investment in what we do. This is why we need communism.
Pick up a sport like tennis (or the dreaded current trend: pickleball). Find a common activity. And there is mahjong for sitting around and talking.
Basically its been superficial this entire time.
很喜欢博主视频，博主是哪国人呢
谢谢🙏 是韩国人
have you ever heard this taught on a tv show: Friends are equals? You mentioned CS Lewis. Holy Bible teaches: Proverbs 13:20 says this: King James Bible
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. I know this for a fact. only God knows who your real friends are. People can get jealous of other people very easily. If I share good news with someone, they might be happy outwardly but actually harbor jealousy inside and as a result, some of these people might seek to destroy me. Have you ever heard of the topic soul ties? Imagine if every person you met formed a soul tie?
I might need to make new friends against.
Camaraderie
I'll be your friend!
maybe you loner cause maybe you say things that are complete truthful you speak on thing that other don't really want to speak on it like when you have friends you speak on thing that are partial so the can say stuff further to you or something to speak on i think people in a indirect sense love having problem so they can have something to complain about.
ill be your friend but.... will expecting a relationship in secret hehehehe
distracting hands