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That's the ONLY correct approach and one I have been very vocal about for many years. If people think you're there to place the blame two things will happen: - they'll lie about what happened to cover their asses and you'll never find out the real cause so you can't actually prevent it from happening again - it causes mistrust & harms open communications meaning that if someone discovers they made a mistake, they won't warn you & will let it go through hoping it won't be noticed.
Absolutely, it does no good to show up with an excuse, whether it's true or not. What people will always appreciate far much more is showing up with a solution
@@redavatar So true. In my field (Medicine) both of those paths can result in patient deaths. As a result, in our hospital, we foster an atmosphere of full reporting of errors, even self-reporting, without recrimination (with some exceptions) so that errors are caught before reaching the patient AND that everyone can learn from the experience. When everyone shuts up and hides everything is when people die due to medical errors.
Agreed. It bizarre how management is happy to tank morale just to have someone to point a finger and yell "get it done." Assuming someone doesn't get fired, tanking morale even more. (I keep getting censored for using the correct phrase) Some people are very happy to not only "pewpew" themselves in the foot, but the feet of an entire team.
A great solution. I do complex fault finding on (sometimes antiquated) electronic equipment. Sometimes, you simply cannot seem to make any headway, and frustration breeds bad decisions. Sometimes, just leaving the room for 5 minutes, taking some air and clearing your mind makes all the difference. Though, Murphy’s Law states that the exact moment you are standing about outside doing nothing, is the point at which your boss will turn up. Luckily I have good bosses, most of whom have done my job, so know the pressures.
@@custos3249 You can do so very easily if, say, you treat people like tools and parts that are easily replaceable, aka 'management' that are so out of touch they don't actually know how to manage people, missing the fact that they are the backbone of any organisation, but hey, the tip of the pyramid also play a huge part, and all of these people who are toxic and people who are too passionate for their capabilities and credibility for the time being are both raised from our education system, as well as their parents, and the parents before theirs.
I've gotten pissed off at shit that refuses to let itself get fixed. I leave it aside for months, years even, come back to it later to clean up clutter and downsize junk sitting around, and then I'm like "lets try this" and what do you know, it gets fixed. Not even doing anything different, maybe just a different subconscious thought, and that's all it takes. @@southcalder
I worked in advertising for 25+ years and now am an art professor. I tell my students 2 things: design is done for somebody else because you are getting paid. It not and never was yours, so things will happen to the work that are beyond your control and you have to let it go. Find something at some point during that project that you love and make that yours. Keep files, or photos of that point and be proud of it. The other thing is "Success has many mothers. Failure is an orphan.," meaning others will take credit for your success, and you will be blamed for the failure whether it's your fault or not.
From the point of control, it's matters a lot more who is paying for the project, than it does the opinions of the engineers doing the work. It's tough to accept that, but learning it is the first step to being able to lead any engineering project. A smart and experienced engineer has not only the skill to know the correct way to go, but also how to explain it to the money guy.
I was also an advertising for 25+ years. Unfortunately, I was the head of the agency so everything was my responsibility and everything that happened was my fault. I remember working on a very complex brochure and got the company's phone number wrong. It was on the press and the client discovered the mistake. There was nothing I could do but admit the mistake, pay to get it fixed and move on. That mistake cost me $5,700. That was everything I was making on the brochure plus another $2,000. At that point I just had to suck it up, pay the bill and keep moving. There was no way to determine who made the mistake but the thing is the client didn't care who made it. All he cared about was that the mistake got fixed and I paid for the fix. Like Adam advised, we can change what already happened but we could analyze the situation and move ahead. From that point on we instituted a rigorous proofing system that required each person to sign off at each stage, including the client! Once we had that signature, we were gold. It was a "valuable" lesson in more ways than one. Even if you think you are at the top of the food chain, you are always working for somebody else.
Well said. I hate to victim-blame, but I have to wonder how this person who "caught flak" for a project going awry reacted when the program went in a direction they didn't like. I've had our program make decisions I didn't agree with, but my job is to faithfully execute my duties in accordance with the plan. If I mentally check out and half-ass it because I don't think we're doing the right thing... that's on me and I deserve to catch flak. Just like you say--unless you're literally working for yourself, it is not (and never was) yours.
At one of the lowest point of Adam's life, he calls his father.. that really touch me, made my eyes watery. I lost my father a year ago and I miss him soon much, his advice was full of wisdom and 100% on my side, even when he told me I'm wrong
On the "Not taking it personally" point, I want to add one thought: This is a process, not a step. You can't just decide to not take it personally and be done. Human beings don't work that way. You will need to remind yourself repeatedly as you obsess about it, not to take it personally. You may need to actually plan out other things to think about when you catch yourself taking it personally and intentionally when you start obsessing. It may be the work of days, weeks, or months depending on you and all the other variables of the situation. But it is exactly what you need to do. Work at not taking it personally and grab what valuable knowledge you can from the experience.
Great advice. The thing I learned after many years, is if you are not initially aligned with the plan or design.. take a breath.. step away, think about it and think about what is in your best interests. Often you will find that it doesn't matter as much as you first thought it did in the grander scheme, especially when you get to the level that you understand how difficult it is to actually co-ordinate a group of expert individuals. If it does really matter, then you can think through the deeper reasons why, and how to best communicate that. Never knee-jerk! It's almost always the wrong thing to do.
I agree in general, but I'd add that none of us know how any one individual experiences life. We can't have a categorical certainty for a sapient species, it tends towards outliers being forgotten, ignored, or hated.
Thank you. Your comment is 100% spot on. I used to beat myself up because I thought I should be able to move on quickly from a bad experience but I couldn't do it. Overtime I realized (like you said) it is a process and that I have to remind myself repeatedly to not take things personally as I obsess over a bad experience.
I have a degree in psychology and recognize this issue in myself and still have to fight it daily and remind myself, "sometimes it's not in your control and that's OK" 😂
To make a coworker, subordinate or otherwise, feel better after messing up, I always find myself saying, “Today its you, tomorrow it’ll be me.” This comes true all too often, and it’s nice to hear it being said back to me when I’m in the dumps.
I love the last story, because Jamie had it 100% right. Don't be the person with the problem, but the person with the solution. It's important to look forward, not back. Immediately, how are you going to proceed, and later how are you going to prevent it from recurring? It ties back to focusing on what you can control.
Once, our company accepted a contract to build an assembly. Early in the project, my co-workers had a question about a design requirement, and scheduled a trip to the customer to ask basically, 'What does this mean?' Before they left, however, their boss told them to make up plans for their response. It looked much better to be proactive and already have solutions ready to implement, as opposed to 'OK, we'll work on it.'
My daughter became an engineer because of you. Now she's starting her career and your advice for her is so useful and practical. Your continue to mentor her.
From bitter personal experience of working for customers who thought they knew better, if they tell (they don't usually ask) you to do something you believe to be unwise - write down your advice that it's not a good idea and why, give them a copy and get them to sign off on it - a literal signature and if they won't sign, leave the job, if it does indeed go bad, show them the signature. I've had to do that a couple of times and in both cases they threw me off the job for my "I told you so" moment - they didn't realise they were doing me a favour.
This is the way. Whether its a customer or a supervisor giving you these instructions, make sure you have those instructions, in incontrovertible form, as well as your objection. Then, go ahead and take pride in delivering the best possible version of a stupid thing. Let everyone else lose time worrying about it. "You want to pay me to do the dumbest possible version? Okay. You're signing the front of the check, I'll sign the back"
Yep. Get it in writing, and provide your reasoning (again in writing) as well. Keeping a paper trail of bad ideas saves you so much grief in the long run. You should not do the classic "i told you so," you don't have to. Just provide the documentation and walk away.
This can save you from painful lawsuits. When a customer insists you take an approach that you've warned them not to, it's really difficult for them to blame you for the result. But you HAVE to document it and get them to sign off. In other words, C Y A !!!!
That's why I prefer to get most of the important stuff using email or some other traceable means of communication. Once, in order to make sure there were some kind of traceability, I actually wrote my supervisor en email after a physical meeting, outlining what had occurred at the meeting, and asked her to return to me only if she wanted to correct anything, and telling her that the absence of an answer would be an acknowledgement of my interpretation of the decisions of the meeting. Her answer? "I can neither confirm, nor deny..." Really? What kind of boss is that?
9:45 I love what Jamie said in this story, you always want to go to your boss or whoever with a solution, never just go to them with a problem. My dad's told me this before and he's so right.
When I was an apprentice sculptor/moldmaker at a statuary run by Italian immigrants I once humiliated myself by not listening carefully to the old guy’s advice on how I was approaching a project. Instead, I explained how smart I was and why my idea was better. When we got back from lunch, we discovered my project had literally shattered into 7 pieces. The old guys explained to me why…. But then they spent the rest of the afternoon ridiculing me and laughing about it. Being young and full of myself, I responded by acting resentful and moody. And that’s when the old Italian came over and said the thing that changed my life and gave me wisdom. He said, “hey, hard head… listen. For twenty-five years I have waited for My turn to laugh. Don’t you try to take that away from me.” With every new crop of apprentices, I get to tell them the same. In my studio, mistakes and disasters are not a cause for yelling or blaming… but for my turn to laugh. And I have always found that my apprentices learn the most from seeing the various inventive ways I recover from a disaster to bring in the project after all.
After my first experience of my advice which predicted a problem which did occur not being listened to when I lacked authority, I resolved that such is only offered in written form: e-mail, software messenger, text, etc and not verbally. And then not brought up by me ever (I’m not out to “I told you so”) *unless* some blame came my way. Because *then* you whip out that written record and remind of your previous position. This has served to defend me at that moment but also made others start to listen to my future written “heads up” when offered.
I wanted to make this comment as well. As mentioned, don't bring it up, unless you receive SERIOUS blowback, and even then, be contrite, and don't flaunt it. I've gained more trust and understanding by failling on my sword, even if it wasn't necessarily my fault. One big point: I worked at a pretty good place with a good supervisor. The attitude of "let's spend time fixing, not finger pointing" was the usual paradigm in our department, which made this feasible.
I’ve heard this advice before, and it probably does work, but I’ve always avoided that approach in my career because it inherently positions your collaborators as your enemies. As people you need to defend yourself from. I’d rather embrace my team and try to make whatever we’re doing into a success as best I can. If it fails, y’know whatever maybe my thing would have failed too. Maybe I’m just lucky to have worked at places that never scapegoated me for anything that was the opposite of my suggestion. I’d just hate to work somewhere where I felt like everyone was out to get me and I have to spend my time gathering evidence of my competency.
I came to say the same think. Written proof to cover your ass. I have been at the same company 21 years and this has saved me a few times. People tried pinning screw ups on me, but then I pull out an email either showing I pointed this out and was ignored, or atleast an email with someone higher up telling me to do it.
Never delete an email, I also make it a point to make sure everyone that I know who works with me knows that I record all of my phone calls. It has saved me so many times on scope creep by the customer. Also be very clear that scope creep is going to cost more and delay delivery.
Adam, thank you for being so open and so honest, especially about painful or difficult questions. I grew up with essentially absentee role models. So so many of life’s lessons I had to learn on my own and had zero guidance; nobody with whom to bounce things off of. Nobody from whom to seek counsel. Nobody to let me know that these challenges are common and difficult and how to deal with them. So thank you for being - in a distant way - that reassuring voice and provider of wisdom and guidance, along with serving as an example of how to be hoped and honest and forthright.
That story about Jamie.... wow. As a mechanical engineer who has to deal with situations like that a lot, all I can say is thank you thank you thank you. I literally wrote down that story so I remember to apply that wisdom in the future.
What more people need to do is to COVER THEIR ARSE! If you tell someone that their proposed action is gonna end badly, and they choose to proceed with it anyway, make sure you have it on record that you warned them so you can't get blamed.
Great advice, but having a bulletproof audit trail doesn't mean you won't get blamed. I got a ding on a performance review a few years back for "not completing a project quickly enough", despite the fact I had it finished and an approved technical review more than two weeks prior to the deadline (with the signature of the lead saying I was slow, no less), and an email trail indicating such. I sent the appropriate forms to HR formally disputing the performance review, complete with supporting evidence, and it made no difference. At another employer around 20 years ago, I got formally disciplined (and quit a few weeks later) because someone took some code that I had in the repository that I'd put in a special branch and very clearly marked "not finished due to customer [name] bankruptcy - it doesn't work and do not use as-is", used it verbatim in a production build for another customer (complete with those comments and the other customer's name), and that code repeatedly crashed that customer's production system, costing them hundreds of thousands of dollars and inconveniencing thousands of THEIR customers. Again, I had all the commit records and emails that proved I properly did everything I was responsible for (and incidentally showed whose fault it really was, although that wasn't my intent), and again, no one cared about that and the idiot that blindly put untested code into a customer deliverable saw no consequences. I've learned not to dwell on these things and to have confidence that I am in fact a competent engineer. Idiots are gonna idiot, nothing is going to change that, and fortunately I now have the luxury of being able to choose never again to work with leads/supervisors once they've proven to be untrustworthy or incompetent.
I got called in to do a financial analysis of my company as, despite my junior position, I was good with spreadsheets. I showed them that the decision they were making - to change direction and bet the company on a new idea (directly competing with Amazon) had no road to profitability. Obviously they ignored me and chose the stupid path. 12 months later the company went into a death spiral and I got 3 months redundancy. Now I'm starting my own business and trying to make a similar company while learning from their stupid mistakes.
The best advice i ever got working with miniatures/props was "these arent your creations, dont get upset when they get trashed" and i remind myself of this every day
I bounce back and forth between different types of channels on here. I usually come back to Adam every month or two. And every time I come back. I’m blown away by his knowledge his life memories. And his incredible ability to remember things. He has probably forgotten more than I will ever know in this world of makers. I would love to sit in his shop and just watch, listen and soak it all in. He’s incredible!
I agree with that perspective on letting stuff go. I've always called it stoicism: referring to the classical philosophy rather than the modern meaning of being stoic.
This came at the perfect time. I just got dumped. I wanted her back so bad. She wasn’t just someone I fell in love with, I just loved having her in my life as a friend too. But I love her enough to do what’s best for her. I tried my best, but nothing I could have said would have changed her mind. She’s gone, and that’s okay.
@@MrSaiLikesPie That's a good way of looking at it. I had the same thing happen many years ago, and while it hurts losing someone from your life, it helps to understand that if she'd stayed even though she didn't want to, it likely would ended up, so, so much worse. Once I finally got that understanding locked into my head, things got a lot easier. I still think of her occasionally even now, but I know now that what happened was the best possible outcome even though it was devastating at the time.
In my line of work I’m often under pressure from others in my organisation, many of which are “senior” but not necessarily more experienced. Sometimes, stuff goes wrong and tasks don’t go to plan. I deal with those moments by assuring myself that I done the best with the details/equipment/resources I had available at the time. I take on board lessons learned and remain humble when being guided by those that are more experienced. “Every day is a school day” is a personal mantra for my role. 17 years into my career with my company, I continue to learn and develop. My advice to those in junior roles looking to progress to my level and beyond is “Always know that you’ve done your best. Don’t let control bully you, you know more than they do. Don’t take it personally when you are pulled aside. Don’t let bad working relationships fester.”
I had a design teacher tell us "You have to get comfortable murdering babies." That boiled down to "if it doesn't work for the project, no amount of passion and effort is going to make it work" sometimes you can have made a phenomenal thing that is beautiful and perfect, but doesn't work for what you need, and that is ok too. The ol Two things can be true at the same time, I put a lot of time and effort and creative energy into this thing for you, AND it's not what we need right now. It's tough in the creative realm to pour your soul into your work and have that returned with a "thanks but no thanks", so Don't take it personally is unbelievably sage wisdom. I teach my students that critique and feedback is all data input. It has nothing to do with my opinion of them or their work, they are data points to work from to correct what we are doing.
Stoics have a philosophy that helps in these sorts of situations. Base success by creating goals that you have control over. In a lot of cases all you can control is how you behave in the situation or the effort you bring to the table. If you do your best, consider it a success because you stayed true to your own purpose and work ethic.
Some of the best career advice I’ve heard Adam. At 55, you are spot on correct about early days and no control or say, or luxury for when established to turn down clients, etc.
I recently had a job go bad. I realized the client was absolutely crazy and didn't actually understand what they wanted, and kept defaulting to "Rinoa doesn't know how to do this" every time I'd spend time working instead of telling her I can do it. I had devoted two days a week to her project and she didn't have a capacity to manage what she said she wanted. I had to walk away. I made sure to get my money though.
You are lucky you work in a field that people move on after an error. My old work place was " As long as we can blame someone it's Ok". They can make the same error over and over.
Adam, the last time I had food poisoning like that I was in Chicago for Wired magazine's NextFest event in 2005. It was literally the day after press day, and on press day we met you and Jaime because you were there for Mythbusters checking all the cool new gadgets out including ours. We were riding high after press day, went out to eat somewhere on the pier, and the next morning I couldn't move - my father was so upset because I was the demo guy that showed off the thing we'd been working on, and he didn't believe I was actually sick either - at least not at first, and it was a horrible feeling. I didn't want to let him down but I couldn't move either! I did end up making it out there later in the day, caught a cab from the hotel feeling all woozy after most of the food poisoning had passed. Anyway, I thought I'd share that :]
Jamie was brilliant in offering 3 ways forward rather than simply stating that the deadline couldn’t be met. That idea can and should be used in many situations. Great story.
I was in a corporate meeting where something had gone badly wrong. In a very short amount of time one of our physicists said "I'm sorry, but are we trying to fix a problem or are we trying to assign blame? Because if it's the latter I think I'm in the wrong meeting." Brilliant and gave me much respect for his tactful delivery. Tact was never one of my assets and it hurt my career.
What I love about these videos is you can take the topic of the subject matter, plug and play your own kind of situation into it and still have things to take away from the experiences and advice Adam is giving
Adam, it's beyond surreal to see these videos. seems like just a minute ago, i was a kid watching mythbusters. so much has changed, and words fail to express how much we needed this. thank you, adam. thank you for everything
I appreciate you sharing your experiences and advices, Adam. These types of videos are priceless. More people should take the huge opportunity to listen to these.
As you get older, the consequences get more dire. It goes from "I said the wrong thing and this stranger will think I'm a creep forever" to "I couldn't get my boss to do my plan and everything went south and now he thinks I'm incompetent" to "I couldn't get my parent's doctors to honor my POA and let my terminally ill parent die and his suffering was prolonged by an extra year before he died miserably". One day, the consequence will be my own death and suffering. And in all of this, the lesson is the same. It's Outside of Your Control. Don't take it personally.
For almost a quarter of a century this man has been an incredible father like figure inspiring young kids and grown adults alike. Thank you for being you Adam Savage!
While my job wasn't in the arts (I was a Patient Access Representative at an Ophthalmologists' office). I was fired from my job due to someone bullying me with anonymous reports against me for unfounded (and uninvestigated) things, then hiding behind management with the reports. I struggle with your comment (though it is true) "People are going to have an opinion of you and you can’t change that". I was nothing less than kind and respectful of everyone I worked with and Patients, but this one person still felt the need to bully me. I think the thing I struggle with the worst is "Why?" If I had hurt this person somehow, I am the kind of person who apologizes as soon as I am aware and do what I can to make things right. I am a few months out from this whole situation and my brain still wants to know why so I can fix it. I openly admit that I am a little extra empathetic of others and want people to be happy, but I need to train myself to stop taking things personally because I can't make everyone happy. Thanks for the reminder!
Practical advice: keep organized records of communications with customers and/or managers when it comes . Preferably in written form like emails, texts, and IMs. This serves multiple purposes. 1) it's proof of what was asked and what was promised. Sometimes people change expectations after the fact, not even always on purpose. 2) it's a great reference for future projects. Don't expect your brain to remember every lesson learned without help. 3) any updates given are proof of the effort and attempts to solve problems you used throughout the project. Showing that you followed policies and procedures and used everything you were given goes a long way and placating upset leadership.
If you know you aren't at fault and you weren't the decision maker then just politely pass the buck towards the person making decisions and tell the person if you have a problem with the results take it up with the person in charge. If the person in charge comes at you then tell them I told you so and don't use them as a reference if fired. Once had a worker on a different shift who chewed me and my coworker out for not doing our part of a job. I was new and felt horrible about it. My coworker told him, "if you have a problem with our work then go talk to our supervisor or have your supervisor talk to ours." Turned out he wasn't doing his job at all and was just hiding out and hoping other people would do it for him. He later got fired after getting caught not doing multiple other jobs.
Having passed 10 years in the same industry, I find more and more like Adam's advice is the kind if advice I would give. Lucky to have grown up watching this dude.
One of my best bosses must have been from the film indusstry. As a Junior designer in the mid 1980s, her response to anything that went wrong was, "It's my fault. Now how do we fix this." No finger pointing, no deflection whether it was design or production, just what will it take to deliver what the customer ordered.
About the screw up blaming... Honestly there's an age you get to that being pedagogic is just a waste of time. The person knows they screwed up and by this point you know if the person is willing to do better or not...
I've found (in my career as a CS teacher) that having a few backup solutions and suggestions ready is a great way to make bosses not explode when given bad news. Generally, bosses seem to like solution-oriented employees. Not all of them of course, a lot of bosses are assholes. But in general. "Here's a problem I've noticed and here are three possible solutions, would you like me to start implementing one of them or do you have another suggestion?" usually leads to me getting to do the option I wanted. Providing them with solutions means they don't have to think of solutions, win-win =)
Not just bosses I think, but people in general like it if you have thought about a solution already before you present them with a problem. That just shows you aren't lazy and expect them to fix it for you.
I dont know if that story with Jamie is something that happened more than once, or it was the same story Adam has told before, but I love that lesson and its something i try to always remember
Yes i have heard of and used the A, B, or C method to resolve problems in the past! And it works! When a customer wasn't happy with a product or service I used to apologies and that resulted in an unhappy customer with negative feedback. But if I offer options to the problem they will always pick one option A, B, or C as a resolution to the problem, it's truly amazing I think it's a brain trick or something...
I learned early on in my career as a Mechanical Engineer that you leave your ego at the door when you get to work and pick it up on your way out! I'll try to keep this short, but a perfect example was one Friday at almost 5:00 my boss called me in his office and told me there was an emergency and asked if I could stay and help the shop crew get a BIG Diesel engine ready to ship to a customer. Of course, I said yes! What we had to do was take a basic V12 twin turbo engine and reconfigure it to the customer's spec. We spent the next several hours taking things off and putting things on (at least they ordered pizza and being a German company we had beer on hand, one of the perks of that job). So, midnight rolls around and I asked if there was anything else they needed me to do. They said no and I left. Monday morning my boss called me again and said: "Why didn't that engine ship"? Apparently, THEY expected me to make the shipping arrangements, and nobody told me that! Shipping dept was long closed before we even got started! I didn't have any information as to the customer, how it was to be shipped, nothing. The semi showed up about a half hour after I left! I explained all this to my boss, and he understood. 😁
Definitely one of the most important things Ive learned over the years in dealing with bosses, in any arena, is if something you are working on fails, have a couple of options on how to proceed when you break the news to them. They may not take up any of your suggestions, but it does give them a sense that you are of value to the project.
Whenever I get frustrated with my job I tell myself, "I dont get paid to do what I love, I get paid so somebody else can take the fun out of it." It's the true difference between a profession and a hobby.
Love when you get real with us! Can't believe how long ago its been since i was first introduced to you on mythbusters in my teens and how blessed we are to have continued access to your content long after the show. Hope to have a chance to actually meet in person someday and talk like normal people, completely unrelated to anything about your career or history.
I have multiple Serenity Prayers around the house, kitchen counter, right by the front door, in my shop, in the lab, by my work computer. People that come over and about the time they find the second or third one say “this explains a lot about you”.
I found it in a fiction book and been toying with the idea of tattooing it or at least some part because how important it is to keept it in front of me anytime something not so great happens
A very minor correction; the American Can Company building that currently houses Project Artaud was not a canning facility. It was a tooling and machinery factory, building the equipment used in other ACC facilities (like the one on Third Street in Dogpatch, now American Industrial). Those facilities did the actual canning. American Can had factories on a number of other American waterfronts, and they all looked the same! I've seen photos of building in Honolulu and St Louis(?) that look exactly like Project Artaud. Thanks for the insightful comments!
This is just what I needed today. Been taking a lot of stuff personally that I simply have little to no control over. Back to practicing that skill set again. Thank you.
I’ve been producing large (mostly Corp) events for many years. I’ll never forget the first company I worked for in the industry that formalized two edicts: 1. All interpersonal conflicts were to be solved first hand. If you went over someone’s head before attempting to solve the issue with them, you were automatically at fault. 2. If something went wrong, solve the problem first. Then figure out how it happened so you can avoid it next time. The point being don’t waste precious time figuring out who to blame.
On the last one, I was reminded of a Tim Roth anecdote. For some scene he's supposed to drive a car on a road next to a very steep slope, with two stars in the rear, that are bigger stars than himself - his words. He loses control, goes off the side and hits every rock on the way. When the car came to a halt, he thought his career was over. The stars in the back were laughing their asses off, the crew comes over and starts taking selfies and the director (i think) says to Roth: "Insurance will cover it"
"never a problem, always a solution" that is a thing my dad would say when you had one of those bad days at work, sure it might take a tea break to think of the solution and overall cost a bit of money and time to get the job done but these things happen, you take the next best option and people that cant understand that should probably not be in business.
@ahuggingsam: One thing you can do when you see the disaster coming, is to raise the issue with a supervisor. Acknowledge your lack of seniority, that you realize this may be overstepping, and maybe you don't have the experience to see correctly, but nevertheless, this is the outcome you see, and you feel that a responsible employee would speak up about it. Reassure them that you will follow whichever course is chosen, and that you are doing this in the vein of having their back, not questioning their decisions. Sent in an email would have protected you when it was dumped it at your feet, as you could show that you were well aware of the potential outcome, but did not have the rank to influence the choice to a significant degree. If they are bad employers, then any form of standing up for yourself will not have a good outcome, and you should, indeed, not take it personally, suck it up, and get out as soon as is reasonable.
You made a good point with saying "reassure them you'll follow whichever course is chosen". As an IC, my job is to do the heavy lifting on an engineering project as directed, and provide the best advice I can to management when appropriate. My job is NOT to make decisions regarding the company's direction unless I'm specifically asked, nor to dictate how a project is run. I will, however, keep scrupulous written records of what I'm told to do and any suggestions/advice I may give.
As someone who is self-employed along with my fiancee, this is INDISPENSABLE wisdom. Some, I'm already familiar with, but regardless it's just good to hear again and again.
Apropos of nothing in the video, but... I wanted to compliment how the recent rearrangement of the cave has positively impacted the lighting in videos like this. Not that the lighting was in any way bad before, but it is so nice to see some natural light coming in as you are talking. Gives the video a nice comfortable feel.
As a construction supervisor, i used to insist that your problem solving questions should include at least one possible solution. It encouraged people to work things out on their own rather than just outsource their thinking process. Even better, if their solution turned out to be the one chosen, it grew their confidence in future problem solving. Occasionally I would declare a “Answer free Friday” where apprentice questions only met with my “what do you think we should do?” Don’t bring me your problems without an accompanying potential solution.
I like the fact that Adam answered the first request for advice, but deftly framed it in such a way that it politely cut through the member's, let's call it "un-self-critical", presentation of the situation. I'm sure we all can feel victimized at times by management, but advice about honest self-awareness without being accusatory is always helpful.
Yup, I think I said it on one of your last stream videos. When something goes wrong, it's not who's to blame or anything else, it's what do we do now to fix it. Going to the customer and saying we can do x, y, or z and these are the pros/cons (to them, not to you) to each option always work out.
I just discovered your channel! I too worked in the entertainment industry for about 25 years and really appreciate your insights. I can relate to all of it. Thanks so much!
This video couldn't have come at a better time, as I have recently had a situation at work where I acted NOT as I should have, and affected a friendship. I've taken the same tack, resolving to see what I did wrong and never repeat it. Thanks for the wisdom and reassurance that we're all in this journey together.
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As a software dev, some of my work either didn't see the light of day (Prod server) or were changed eventually. I always take pride and ownership in my work. The reason for changes usually are a chance in business requirements. My attitude is that the company pays me per hour, doesn't matter what I do, or how well I do it *but* most importantly they don't ask me to pay back the money they spend on me. So, I enjoy what I do, I give it my all, because I respect myself and my work ethics. It is up to the company to use what I've done or not. Control what you can (which is very little ;-)) and forget the rest. Protect your peace!
Jamie's suggestion of a set of solutions is one that I've used (in a completely different industry) and it works. Your superiors obviously want what they asked for, but when things go wrong they don't want excuses, they want solutions.
This is so applicable in so many professions. I was a customer service manager for several homebuilders over the span of 26 years. When you have eight or ten different subcontractors to manage, there were times when the wheels came off the wagon for one reason or another which left me facing the wrath of a homeowner. It was very tough to not take it personally and my very understanding boss had to talk me off the ledge a few times.
On the whole quit taking it personally thing, I work in IT and have numerous times over my career predicted problems from certain decisions that were made and had no one listen to me. Each time I brought up the issue, and after it was clear that I wasn't being taken seriously, I simply prepared as best as I could for the fallout and watched it happen. I have moved on from each of those companies where it happened and eventually got to a point in my career where people do listen to me when I warn about a potential problem. I never really took those instances personally, with one being somewhat of an exception, where my team was blamed and forced to work a bunch of overtime for an issue that I personally brought up to the product manager and was told that the it was a dumb thing to bring up because no one would use the software that way, but it turned out that their biggest client did use it in exactly that way. I didn't stay at the company much longer after that.
Big tip in there. Bad news hits hardest when it doesnt come with contingencies. Sometimes there wont be any, but if you can deliver bad news with options then do it.
Had something similar happen at my last job. Key word is "my last job". I will never accept blame for something that is out of my control. I did however state, "I told you so".
I think prop/effects/ any of the technical stuff that takes place in the back of house in a theater or film studio flex the same muscles that astronauts have to be able to flex, IE being able to move through a disaster with limited resources and time and problem solve a solution that might not fit the platonic ideal of a solution but will still tick as many boxes off the list of needs as possible. I had a moment working in the costume shop, i messed up something fairly important but not overly complicated, that involved some rubber casting and integrating into a costume. I instantly went into “oh shit” panic mode and scrambled to make it right, putting off eating which just made things worse. That night I sat down and wondered “what the hell am I doing things like that for, im only compounding my mistake and putting myself further behind schedule. Its nobodys fault for this mistake, its a combination of factors and bottom line, this just needs to be done.” The next day when the redone rubber components were ready, with that mindset, they went together in maybe half an hour tops and we were back on track. That was a valuable lesson because a few months later here comes another issue, T-48 hours before the opening of the big show of the season. Somehow or another there was a metal strut on the sewing machine table that rattled loose and got into the belt system, resulting in several things: one, the most godawful grinding/buzzing sound ever, two, the motor clutch being locked in the engaged position making the work I was sewing jump, tear and fill with a few hundred unnecessary stitches, and tripping the thermal override sensor on the motor, disabling it. All in all, the piece was ruined and everyone in the room had a massive adrenaline surge. While my coworker was getting pissed on my behalf and blowing off steam at the service tech she suspected left the part loose, i caught myself going into the “panic and try to salvage it to prove a point” loop, radioed the head of my team and explained the situation, stayed calm and said “im down a sewing machine, im going to go take my lunch break while it cools off, ive got a way to reproduce that piece in mind that should still work for the effects we need that should be ready by this afternoon, or I could try and take it all the way from the top again but that will take til the end of the day. Your call.” Then i get back a “sounds good, run your idea and make it work”. It was extremely validating in both a “the person who hired me knows I know my stuff and trusts my calls” way and a “hell yeah I just problem solved my way out of the disaster” way as opposed to the sort of pity party I think is sort of instinctive when something hits the fan like that.
Great first question !! You should plead your case with passion and respect, then let the decision makers make the decision. Then let the chips fall where they may. That's part of the job. That's how it works. The alternative is to work by yourself... or always be the boss.
The "failing utterly, here are our options" bit reminds me of another bit of advice from a coworker/mentor of mine when I was just getting started in engineering. "Don't come half cocked with a question or a problem. Do your homework, figure out the problem and come with potential solutions as best as possible to the team before executing. And be open that you may not have a solution immediately" (paraphrasing).
I got fired from my favorite job and company and was told that "you can't be trusted with our customer data". Total BS. Two days later I had a better job doing the exact same thing and was transforming that company. I refused to believe that line. I later moved to another company and had a similar role and was told on the day that I left that I did good work and my proudest moments were earning the respect of my coworkers. The story took and unbelievable twist when I received an apology years later from the people who had fired me. The vindication from that wasn't needed because I already knew who I was and what I could do. It still hurt for a long time, and it's hard to believe all that happened, but it really taught me to believe in what you know for certain and that other people's assessments of us can rarely describe as exactly as we are (and we are always changing and improving too, so why accept untruths?).
This video has so much wisdom packed into it. So much so that I'm sure give me 5yrs from now and I'll still find something new and relatable to pull from. A lot of what you're highlighting sounds simple but only because of your experience behind it - similar to how Olympians make their specific sport look easy, yet you know it's not. Damn... good stuff. Thanks Adam and team.
Our acronym doing telephony support at a major banking institution was W.D.N.S. "We Do Not Suck." The principle was: if we ever screw up, we own it, we let people know about it, we tell them what we're going to do about it, we fix it, and we move on.
I felt that same "no time to point fingers" environment in the automotive production industry. When a line went down, something broke, or if it wasn't ready to turn on when the plant restarted after a shutdown. It was all-hands rowing in the same direction. It didn't matter if you worked in the plant or were an outside contractor (with some exception for certain unions) we were all on the same team. And with 3000 or more people coming to work the next day and the plant not operating. Everyone did whatever it took to get that machine running... It's a crazy amount of stress on a young engineer, but has prepared me for so many other stressful situations.
Question for Adam or any of you craftsman in here. When I was growing up my grand-father taught me how to change a tire and he emphasized how important it is when putting on the nuts to evenly tighten them in a kitty corner pattern... tighten one a little... then tighten the one directly across from it... and so forth and forth. This was also taught to me when tightening screws on projects. I noticed Adam always goes clockwise and doesn't do this. Is this an "Old Craftsman's Tale" or is there any legitimacy to it?
I love his Nostromo Weyland Yutani crew shirt! And as a person who has also severely screwed up by myself, been there. "Resolving not to do it again" is the best advice.
2:07 "You're gonna make something beautiful and your supervisor's gonna hate it and you're gonna have to make it less beautiful." I've had a somewhat similar experience. I helped someone fan-translate an anime for free (learning Japanese is one of my hobbies). Later on, after translating the show, I learned more Japanese and realized that some of my translations were wrong. After correcting them, I offered the updated translations for free, but they weren't interested. I was so frustrated. I was like, "But I'm literally offering you a better translation for free! Why won't you just take it?!"
I like peers or supervisors who are focused on resolving an issue rather than pointing fingers. I have had several great individuals who might say "you/we screwed up, here is how... Let's do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen again" clean cut. Whereas one person in particular has spent more time trying to find who to blame rather than simply trying to resolve the problem. I remember an example of where he and I discovered an issue with something. We were each tasked to fix a section of it. He walked around trying to find who was to blame. Meanwhile, I fixed my section and most of his section. He came back pissed at me for nearly fixing all of it because 'I was making him look bad'. The supervisor said, "Why are you complaining? He is the problem resolved single handedly"
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That sounds more like the Norovirus than food poisoning.
Great attitude.
When stuff goes wrong at my work I always say "I'm not interested in pointing the finger at someone, I'm interested in solving the problem."
That's the ONLY correct approach and one I have been very vocal about for many years. If people think you're there to place the blame two things will happen:
- they'll lie about what happened to cover their asses and you'll never find out the real cause so you can't actually prevent it from happening again
- it causes mistrust & harms open communications meaning that if someone discovers they made a mistake, they won't warn you & will let it go through hoping it won't be noticed.
I'm totally the same ......👍👍👍👍
Absolutely, it does no good to show up with an excuse, whether it's true or not. What people will always appreciate far much more is showing up with a solution
Reason or excuse is where you find yourself and I have no time for an excuse, because the excuse gets in the way of getting to the solution.
@@redavatar So true. In my field (Medicine) both of those paths can result in patient deaths. As a result, in our hospital, we foster an atmosphere of full reporting of errors, even self-reporting, without recrimination (with some exceptions) so that errors are caught before reaching the patient AND that everyone can learn from the experience. When everyone shuts up and hides everything is when people die due to medical errors.
"we fucked up and we all need a break" If only more people could adopt this thought process.
Agreed. It bizarre how management is happy to tank morale just to have someone to point a finger and yell "get it done." Assuming someone doesn't get fired, tanking morale even more. (I keep getting censored for using the correct phrase) Some people are very happy to not only "pewpew" themselves in the foot, but the feet of an entire team.
A great solution. I do complex fault finding on (sometimes antiquated) electronic equipment. Sometimes, you simply cannot seem to make any headway, and frustration breeds bad decisions.
Sometimes, just leaving the room for 5 minutes, taking some air and clearing your mind makes all the difference.
Though, Murphy’s Law states that the exact moment you are standing about outside doing nothing, is the point at which your boss will turn up.
Luckily I have good bosses, most of whom have done my job, so know the pressures.
@@custos3249 You can do so very easily if, say, you treat people like tools and parts that are easily replaceable, aka 'management' that are so out of touch they don't actually know how to manage people, missing the fact that they are the backbone of any organisation, but hey, the tip of the pyramid also play a huge part, and all of these people who are toxic and people who are too passionate for their capabilities and credibility for the time being are both raised from our education system, as well as their parents, and the parents before theirs.
I've gotten pissed off at shit that refuses to let itself get fixed. I leave it aside for months, years even, come back to it later to clean up clutter and downsize junk sitting around, and then I'm like "lets try this" and what do you know, it gets fixed. Not even doing anything different, maybe just a different subconscious thought, and that's all it takes. @@southcalder
Adam is that favorite Uncle of yours that is a walking living library with stories that never ends, he never disappoints.
Not just stories, but genuine, _useful_ wisdom. What a guy.
And then. There is me the odd uncle with an animal mascot costume in his closet....but also hates sports.
@@ryanclemons1Nothing wrong with being a furry. Enjoy yourself!
I worked in advertising for 25+ years and now am an art professor. I tell my students 2 things: design is done for somebody else because you are getting paid. It not and never was yours, so things will happen to the work that are beyond your control and you have to let it go. Find something at some point during that project that you love and make that yours. Keep files, or photos of that point and be proud of it. The other thing is "Success has many mothers. Failure is an orphan.," meaning others will take credit for your success, and you will be blamed for the failure whether it's your fault or not.
From the point of control, it's matters a lot more who is paying for the project, than it does the opinions of the engineers doing the work. It's tough to accept that, but learning it is the first step to being able to lead any engineering project. A smart and experienced engineer has not only the skill to know the correct way to go, but also how to explain it to the money guy.
well said....
I was also an advertising for 25+ years. Unfortunately, I was the head of the agency so everything was my responsibility and everything that happened was my fault. I remember working on a very complex brochure and got the company's phone number wrong. It was on the press and the client discovered the mistake. There was nothing I could do but admit the mistake, pay to get it fixed and move on. That mistake cost me $5,700. That was everything I was making on the brochure plus another $2,000. At that point I just had to suck it up, pay the bill and keep moving.
There was no way to determine who made the mistake but the thing is the client didn't care who made it. All he cared about was that the mistake got fixed and I paid for the fix.
Like Adam advised, we can change what already happened but we could analyze the situation and move ahead. From that point on we instituted a rigorous proofing system that required each person to sign off at each stage, including the client! Once we had that signature, we were gold. It was a "valuable" lesson in more ways than one.
Even if you think you are at the top of the food chain, you are always working for somebody else.
@@henrynelson9809 What year was this where only $5700 is required to fix a corporate mistake?
Well said. I hate to victim-blame, but I have to wonder how this person who "caught flak" for a project going awry reacted when the program went in a direction they didn't like. I've had our program make decisions I didn't agree with, but my job is to faithfully execute my duties in accordance with the plan. If I mentally check out and half-ass it because I don't think we're doing the right thing... that's on me and I deserve to catch flak. Just like you say--unless you're literally working for yourself, it is not (and never was) yours.
At one of the lowest point of Adam's life, he calls his father.. that really touch me, made my eyes watery. I lost my father a year ago and I miss him soon much, his advice was full of wisdom and 100% on my side, even when he told me I'm wrong
How lovely and sad. Sadly I didn’t have parents like that to help and guide me … sorry for ur loss
On the "Not taking it personally" point, I want to add one thought: This is a process, not a step. You can't just decide to not take it personally and be done. Human beings don't work that way. You will need to remind yourself repeatedly as you obsess about it, not to take it personally. You may need to actually plan out other things to think about when you catch yourself taking it personally and intentionally when you start obsessing. It may be the work of days, weeks, or months depending on you and all the other variables of the situation. But it is exactly what you need to do. Work at not taking it personally and grab what valuable knowledge you can from the experience.
Great advice. The thing I learned after many years, is if you are not initially aligned with the plan or design.. take a breath.. step away, think about it and think about what is in your best interests. Often you will find that it doesn't matter as much as you first thought it did in the grander scheme, especially when you get to the level that you understand how difficult it is to actually co-ordinate a group of expert individuals. If it does really matter, then you can think through the deeper reasons why, and how to best communicate that. Never knee-jerk! It's almost always the wrong thing to do.
@@technokicksyourass Spot on,
I agree in general, but I'd add that none of us know how any one individual experiences life. We can't have a categorical certainty for a sapient species, it tends towards outliers being forgotten, ignored, or hated.
Thank you. Your comment is 100% spot on. I used to beat myself up because I thought I should be able to move on quickly from a bad experience but I couldn't do it. Overtime I realized (like you said) it is a process and that I have to remind myself repeatedly to not take things personally as I obsess over a bad experience.
I have a degree in psychology and recognize this issue in myself and still have to fight it daily and remind myself, "sometimes it's not in your control and that's OK" 😂
To make a coworker, subordinate or otherwise, feel better after messing up, I always find myself saying, “Today its you, tomorrow it’ll be me.”
This comes true all too often, and it’s nice to hear it being said back to me when I’m in the dumps.
I love the last story, because Jamie had it 100% right. Don't be the person with the problem, but the person with the solution. It's important to look forward, not back. Immediately, how are you going to proceed, and later how are you going to prevent it from recurring?
It ties back to focusing on what you can control.
And not dwelling on what’s already happened and can’t be changed.
Once, our company accepted a contract to build an assembly. Early in the project, my co-workers had a question about a design requirement, and scheduled a trip to the customer to ask basically, 'What does this mean?' Before they left, however, their boss told them to make up plans for their response. It looked much better to be proactive and already have solutions ready to implement, as opposed to 'OK, we'll work on it.'
Jamie's story is gold and universal, that can be used in almost anyone's daily life and business.
There is something so beautiful about Jamie. No bs, just utilitarian straightforwardness.
Get r done
My daughter became an engineer because of you. Now she's starting her career and your advice for her is so useful and practical. Your continue to mentor her.
From bitter personal experience of working for customers who thought they knew better, if they tell (they don't usually ask) you to do something you believe to be unwise - write down your advice that it's not a good idea and why, give them a copy and get them to sign off on it - a literal signature and if they won't sign, leave the job, if it does indeed go bad, show them the signature.
I've had to do that a couple of times and in both cases they threw me off the job for my "I told you so" moment - they didn't realise they were doing me a favour.
This is the way. Whether its a customer or a supervisor giving you these instructions, make sure you have those instructions, in incontrovertible form, as well as your objection.
Then, go ahead and take pride in delivering the best possible version of a stupid thing. Let everyone else lose time worrying about it.
"You want to pay me to do the dumbest possible version? Okay. You're signing the front of the check, I'll sign the back"
Yep. Get it in writing, and provide your reasoning (again in writing) as well. Keeping a paper trail of bad ideas saves you so much grief in the long run.
You should not do the classic "i told you so," you don't have to. Just provide the documentation and walk away.
This can save you from painful lawsuits. When a customer insists you take an approach that you've warned them not to, it's really difficult for them to blame you for the result. But you HAVE to document it and get them to sign off. In other words, C Y A !!!!
That's why I prefer to get most of the important stuff using email or some other traceable means of communication.
Once, in order to make sure there were some kind of traceability, I actually wrote my supervisor en email after a physical meeting, outlining what had occurred at the meeting, and asked her to return to me only if she wanted to correct anything, and telling her that the absence of an answer would be an acknowledgement of my interpretation of the decisions of the meeting.
Her answer? "I can neither confirm, nor deny..."
Really? What kind of boss is that?
@@CBDuRietz One that is trying to cover her a$$ no matter what. It's funny that she thought that her reply would help her from being held accountable.
9:45 I love what Jamie said in this story, you always want to go to your boss or whoever with a solution, never just go to them with a problem. My dad's told me this before and he's so right.
“the prop self destructed.” IM DYING THIS IS HILARIOUS im just imagining his stoic face delivering that hehehe
I died when I heard that too. HAHA. It's just utterly FUBAR'd lol
When I was an apprentice sculptor/moldmaker at a statuary run by Italian immigrants I once humiliated myself by not listening carefully to the old guy’s advice on how I was approaching a project. Instead, I explained how smart I was and why my idea was better. When we got back from lunch, we discovered my project had literally shattered into 7 pieces. The old guys explained to me why…. But then they spent the rest of the afternoon ridiculing me and laughing about it. Being young and full of myself, I responded by acting resentful and moody. And that’s when the old Italian came over and said the thing that changed my life and gave me wisdom. He said, “hey, hard head… listen. For twenty-five years I have waited for My turn to laugh. Don’t you try to take that away from me.”
With every new crop of apprentices, I get to tell them the same.
In my studio, mistakes and disasters are not a cause for yelling or blaming… but for my turn to laugh. And I have always found that my apprentices learn the most from seeing the various inventive ways I recover from a disaster to bring in the project after all.
After my first experience of my advice which predicted a problem which did occur not being listened to when I lacked authority, I resolved that such is only offered in written form: e-mail, software messenger, text, etc and not verbally. And then not brought up by me ever (I’m not out to “I told you so”) *unless* some blame came my way. Because *then* you whip out that written record and remind of your previous position. This has served to defend me at that moment but also made others start to listen to my future written “heads up” when offered.
The VERY first thing our Company Commander taught us was ALWAYS, ALWAYS cover your ass. Sound advice that kept me out of the brig several times.
I wanted to make this comment as well.
As mentioned, don't bring it up, unless you receive SERIOUS blowback, and even then, be contrite, and don't flaunt it.
I've gained more trust and understanding by failling on my sword, even if it wasn't necessarily my fault. One big point: I worked at a pretty good place with a good supervisor. The attitude of "let's spend time fixing, not finger pointing" was the usual paradigm in our department, which made this feasible.
I’ve heard this advice before, and it probably does work, but I’ve always avoided that approach in my career because it inherently positions your collaborators as your enemies. As people you need to defend yourself from. I’d rather embrace my team and try to make whatever we’re doing into a success as best I can. If it fails, y’know whatever maybe my thing would have failed too.
Maybe I’m just lucky to have worked at places that never scapegoated me for anything that was the opposite of my suggestion. I’d just hate to work somewhere where I felt like everyone was out to get me and I have to spend my time gathering evidence of my competency.
I came to say the same think. Written proof to cover your ass. I have been at the same company 21 years and this has saved me a few times. People tried pinning screw ups on me, but then I pull out an email either showing I pointed this out and was ignored, or atleast an email with someone higher up telling me to do it.
Never delete an email, I also make it a point to make sure everyone that I know who works with me knows that I record all of my phone calls. It has saved me so many times on scope creep by the customer. Also be very clear that scope creep is going to cost more and delay delivery.
Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to tell them off, and the wisdom to leave them alone.
Adam, thank you for being so open and so honest, especially about painful or difficult questions.
I grew up with essentially absentee role models. So so many of life’s lessons I had to learn on my own and had zero guidance; nobody with whom to bounce things off of. Nobody from whom to seek counsel. Nobody to let me know that these challenges are common and difficult and how to deal with them.
So thank you for being - in a distant way - that reassuring voice and provider of wisdom and guidance, along with serving as an example of how to be hoped and honest and forthright.
That story about Jamie.... wow. As a mechanical engineer who has to deal with situations like that a lot, all I can say is thank you thank you thank you. I literally wrote down that story so I remember to apply that wisdom in the future.
What more people need to do is to COVER THEIR ARSE! If you tell someone that their proposed action is gonna end badly, and they choose to proceed with it anyway, make sure you have it on record that you warned them so you can't get blamed.
Great advice, but having a bulletproof audit trail doesn't mean you won't get blamed. I got a ding on a performance review a few years back for "not completing a project quickly enough", despite the fact I had it finished and an approved technical review more than two weeks prior to the deadline (with the signature of the lead saying I was slow, no less), and an email trail indicating such. I sent the appropriate forms to HR formally disputing the performance review, complete with supporting evidence, and it made no difference. At another employer around 20 years ago, I got formally disciplined (and quit a few weeks later) because someone took some code that I had in the repository that I'd put in a special branch and very clearly marked "not finished due to customer [name] bankruptcy - it doesn't work and do not use as-is", used it verbatim in a production build for another customer (complete with those comments and the other customer's name), and that code repeatedly crashed that customer's production system, costing them hundreds of thousands of dollars and inconveniencing thousands of THEIR customers. Again, I had all the commit records and emails that proved I properly did everything I was responsible for (and incidentally showed whose fault it really was, although that wasn't my intent), and again, no one cared about that and the idiot that blindly put untested code into a customer deliverable saw no consequences. I've learned not to dwell on these things and to have confidence that I am in fact a competent engineer. Idiots are gonna idiot, nothing is going to change that, and fortunately I now have the luxury of being able to choose never again to work with leads/supervisors once they've proven to be untrustworthy or incompetent.
I got called in to do a financial analysis of my company as, despite my junior position, I was good with spreadsheets. I showed them that the decision they were making - to change direction and bet the company on a new idea (directly competing with Amazon) had no road to profitability. Obviously they ignored me and chose the stupid path. 12 months later the company went into a death spiral and I got 3 months redundancy. Now I'm starting my own business and trying to make a similar company while learning from their stupid mistakes.
The best advice i ever got working with miniatures/props was "these arent your creations, dont get upset when they get trashed" and i remind myself of this every day
I bounce back and forth between different types of channels on here. I usually come back to Adam every month or two. And every time I come back. I’m blown away by his knowledge his life memories. And his incredible ability to remember things. He has probably forgotten more than I will ever know in this world of makers. I would love to sit in his shop and just watch, listen and soak it all in. He’s incredible!
I agree with that perspective on letting stuff go. I've always called it stoicism: referring to the classical philosophy rather than the modern meaning of being stoic.
Modern stoicism is just emotional repression. Its a fkn plague.
This came at the perfect time. I just got dumped. I wanted her back so bad. She wasn’t just someone I fell in love with, I just loved having her in my life as a friend too. But I love her enough to do what’s best for her. I tried my best, but nothing I could have said would have changed her mind. She’s gone, and that’s okay.
If you loved yourself enough to do what’s best for yourself, would you want someone like that back?
@@8__vv__8 i don’t know. Ill never know. It is what it is. I gotta keep moving forward.
@@MrSaiLikesPie That's a good way of looking at it. I had the same thing happen many years ago, and while it hurts losing someone from your life, it helps to understand that if she'd stayed even though she didn't want to, it likely would ended up, so, so much worse. Once I finally got that understanding locked into my head, things got a lot easier. I still think of her occasionally even now, but I know now that what happened was the best possible outcome even though it was devastating at the time.
In my line of work I’m often under pressure from others in my organisation, many of which are “senior” but not necessarily more experienced.
Sometimes, stuff goes wrong and tasks don’t go to plan. I deal with those moments by assuring myself that I done the best with the details/equipment/resources I had available at the time. I take on board lessons learned and remain humble when being guided by those that are more experienced.
“Every day is a school day” is a personal mantra for my role. 17 years into my career with my company, I continue to learn and develop.
My advice to those in junior roles looking to progress to my level and beyond is “Always know that you’ve done your best. Don’t let control bully you, you know more than they do. Don’t take it personally when you are pulled aside. Don’t let bad working relationships fester.”
I had a design teacher tell us "You have to get comfortable murdering babies."
That boiled down to "if it doesn't work for the project, no amount of passion and effort is going to make it work" sometimes you can have made a phenomenal thing that is beautiful and perfect, but doesn't work for what you need, and that is ok too. The ol Two things can be true at the same time, I put a lot of time and effort and creative energy into this thing for you, AND it's not what we need right now. It's tough in the creative realm to pour your soul into your work and have that returned with a "thanks but no thanks", so Don't take it personally is unbelievably sage wisdom. I teach my students that critique and feedback is all data input. It has nothing to do with my opinion of them or their work, they are data points to work from to correct what we are doing.
Stoics have a philosophy that helps in these sorts of situations. Base success by creating goals that you have control over. In a lot of cases all you can control is how you behave in the situation or the effort you bring to the table. If you do your best, consider it a success because you stayed true to your own purpose and work ethic.
Some of the best career advice I’ve heard Adam. At 55, you are spot on correct about early days and no control or say, or luxury for when established to turn down clients, etc.
I recently had a job go bad. I realized the client was absolutely crazy and didn't actually understand what they wanted, and kept defaulting to "Rinoa doesn't know how to do this" every time I'd spend time working instead of telling her I can do it. I had devoted two days a week to her project and she didn't have a capacity to manage what she said she wanted. I had to walk away. I made sure to get my money though.
You are lucky you work in a field that people move on after an error. My old work place was " As long as we can blame someone it's Ok". They can make the same error over and over.
Adam, the last time I had food poisoning like that I was in Chicago for Wired magazine's NextFest event in 2005. It was literally the day after press day, and on press day we met you and Jaime because you were there for Mythbusters checking all the cool new gadgets out including ours. We were riding high after press day, went out to eat somewhere on the pier, and the next morning I couldn't move - my father was so upset because I was the demo guy that showed off the thing we'd been working on, and he didn't believe I was actually sick either - at least not at first, and it was a horrible feeling. I didn't want to let him down but I couldn't move either! I did end up making it out there later in the day, caught a cab from the hotel feeling all woozy after most of the food poisoning had passed. Anyway, I thought I'd share that :]
Jamie was brilliant in offering 3 ways forward rather than simply stating that the deadline couldn’t be met. That idea can and should be used in many situations. Great story.
I was in a corporate meeting where something had gone badly wrong. In a very short amount of time one of our physicists said "I'm sorry, but are we trying to fix a problem or are we trying to assign blame? Because if it's the latter I think I'm in the wrong meeting." Brilliant and gave me much respect for his tactful delivery. Tact was never one of my assets and it hurt my career.
What I love about these videos is you can take the topic of the subject matter, plug and play your own kind of situation into it and still have things to take away from the experiences and advice Adam is giving
Adam, it's beyond surreal to see these videos. seems like just a minute ago, i was a kid watching mythbusters. so much has changed, and words fail to express how much we needed this. thank you, adam. thank you for everything
I appreciate you sharing your experiences and advices, Adam. These types of videos are priceless. More people should take the huge opportunity to listen to these.
As you get older, the consequences get more dire. It goes from "I said the wrong thing and this stranger will think I'm a creep forever" to "I couldn't get my boss to do my plan and everything went south and now he thinks I'm incompetent" to "I couldn't get my parent's doctors to honor my POA and let my terminally ill parent die and his suffering was prolonged by an extra year before he died miserably". One day, the consequence will be my own death and suffering. And in all of this, the lesson is the same. It's Outside of Your Control. Don't take it personally.
For almost a quarter of a century this man has been an incredible father like figure inspiring young kids and grown adults alike. Thank you for being you Adam Savage!
While my job wasn't in the arts (I was a Patient Access Representative at an Ophthalmologists' office). I was fired from my job due to someone bullying me with anonymous reports against me for unfounded (and uninvestigated) things, then hiding behind management with the reports. I struggle with your comment (though it is true) "People are going to have an opinion of you and you can’t change that". I was nothing less than kind and respectful of everyone I worked with and Patients, but this one person still felt the need to bully me. I think the thing I struggle with the worst is "Why?" If I had hurt this person somehow, I am the kind of person who apologizes as soon as I am aware and do what I can to make things right. I am a few months out from this whole situation and my brain still wants to know why so I can fix it. I openly admit that I am a little extra empathetic of others and want people to be happy, but I need to train myself to stop taking things personally because I can't make everyone happy.
Thanks for the reminder!
Practical advice: keep organized records of communications with customers and/or managers when it comes . Preferably in written form like emails, texts, and IMs. This serves multiple purposes. 1) it's proof of what was asked and what was promised. Sometimes people change expectations after the fact, not even always on purpose. 2) it's a great reference for future projects. Don't expect your brain to remember every lesson learned without help. 3) any updates given are proof of the effort and attempts to solve problems you used throughout the project. Showing that you followed policies and procedures and used everything you were given goes a long way and placating upset leadership.
4) Those records are admissible in court if it becomes necessary. ;-)
If you know you aren't at fault and you weren't the decision maker then just politely pass the buck towards the person making decisions and tell the person if you have a problem with the results take it up with the person in charge. If the person in charge comes at you then tell them I told you so and don't use them as a reference if fired. Once had a worker on a different shift who chewed me and my coworker out for not doing our part of a job. I was new and felt horrible about it. My coworker told him, "if you have a problem with our work then go talk to our supervisor or have your supervisor talk to ours." Turned out he wasn't doing his job at all and was just hiding out and hoping other people would do it for him. He later got fired after getting caught not doing multiple other jobs.
Having passed 10 years in the same industry, I find more and more like Adam's advice is the kind if advice I would give. Lucky to have grown up watching this dude.
One of my best bosses must have been from the film indusstry. As a Junior designer in the mid 1980s, her response to anything that went wrong was, "It's my fault. Now how do we fix this." No finger pointing, no deflection whether it was design or production, just what will it take to deliver what the customer ordered.
I really really really appreciate Adam’s advice for struggling artists in various circumstances
About the screw up blaming... Honestly there's an age you get to that being pedagogic is just a waste of time. The person knows they screwed up and by this point you know if the person is willing to do better or not...
Peace is letting people be wrong about you
I'll never have peace then.
I've found (in my career as a CS teacher) that having a few backup solutions and suggestions ready is a great way to make bosses not explode when given bad news. Generally, bosses seem to like solution-oriented employees. Not all of them of course, a lot of bosses are assholes. But in general. "Here's a problem I've noticed and here are three possible solutions, would you like me to start implementing one of them or do you have another suggestion?" usually leads to me getting to do the option I wanted. Providing them with solutions means they don't have to think of solutions, win-win =)
Not just bosses I think, but people in general like it if you have thought about a solution already before you present them with a problem. That just shows you aren't lazy and expect them to fix it for you.
I dont know if that story with Jamie is something that happened more than once, or it was the same story Adam has told before, but I love that lesson and its something i try to always remember
Yes i have heard of and used the A, B, or C method to resolve problems in the past! And it works! When a customer wasn't happy with a product or service I used to apologies and that resulted in an unhappy customer with negative feedback. But if I offer options to the problem they will always pick one option A, B, or C as a resolution to the problem, it's truly amazing I think it's a brain trick or something...
I learned early on in my career as a Mechanical Engineer that you leave your ego at the door when you get to work and pick it up on your way out! I'll try to keep this short, but a perfect example was one Friday at almost 5:00 my boss called me in his office and told me there was an emergency and asked if I could stay and help the shop crew get a BIG Diesel engine ready to ship to a customer. Of course, I said yes!
What we had to do was take a basic V12 twin turbo engine and reconfigure it to the customer's spec. We spent the next several hours taking things off and putting things on (at least they ordered pizza and being a German company we had beer on hand, one of the perks of that job). So, midnight rolls around and I asked if there was anything else they needed me to do. They said no and I left.
Monday morning my boss called me again and said: "Why didn't that engine ship"? Apparently, THEY expected me to make the shipping arrangements, and nobody told me that! Shipping dept was long closed before we even got started! I didn't have any information as to the customer, how it was to be shipped, nothing. The semi showed up about a half hour after I left!
I explained all this to my boss, and he understood. 😁
Definitely one of the most important things Ive learned over the years in dealing with bosses, in any arena, is if something you are working on fails, have a couple of options on how to proceed when you break the news to them. They may not take up any of your suggestions, but it does give them a sense that you are of value to the project.
Tell them quickly as well. Dont let them find out and then have to explain it. Go directly to them and explain.
That accountability is worth a lot.
Whenever I get frustrated with my job I tell myself, "I dont get paid to do what I love, I get paid so somebody else can take the fun out of it." It's the true difference between a profession and a hobby.
As a freelance classical musician, I can 100% agree with all these sentiments. Adam is SO right about all of this.
My boss has always said never go to the client with a problem without multiple solutions. It’s served me well for over 10 years now.
Love when you get real with us! Can't believe how long ago its been since i was first introduced to you on mythbusters in my teens and how blessed we are to have continued access to your content long after the show. Hope to have a chance to actually meet in person someday and talk like normal people, completely unrelated to anything about your career or history.
I have multiple Serenity Prayers around the house, kitchen counter, right by the front door, in my shop, in the lab, by my work computer. People that come over and about the time they find the second or third one say “this explains a lot about you”.
I found it in a fiction book and been toying with the idea of tattooing it or at least some part because how important it is to keept it in front of me anytime something not so great happens
Live. Laugh. Love.
Haha… clients that are annoying… we used to have a phrase for that at work “Some people’s money just isn’t worth it”!
"If there's no fall guy in the room, it's you."
Whether or not I knew this stuff……it still feels REALLY good to hear this right now..
A very minor correction; the American Can Company building that currently houses Project Artaud was not a canning facility. It was a tooling and machinery factory, building the equipment used in other ACC facilities (like the one on Third Street in Dogpatch, now American Industrial). Those facilities did the actual canning.
American Can had factories on a number of other American waterfronts, and they all looked the same! I've seen photos of building in Honolulu and St Louis(?) that look exactly like Project Artaud. Thanks for the insightful comments!
This is just what I needed today. Been taking a lot of stuff personally that I simply have little to no control over. Back to practicing that skill set again. Thank you.
I’ve been producing large (mostly Corp) events for many years. I’ll never forget the first company I worked for in the industry that formalized two edicts:
1. All interpersonal conflicts were to be solved first hand. If you went over someone’s head before attempting to solve the issue with them, you were automatically at fault.
2. If something went wrong, solve the problem first. Then figure out how it happened so you can avoid it next time. The point being don’t waste precious time figuring out who to blame.
On the last one, I was reminded of a Tim Roth anecdote.
For some scene he's supposed to drive a car on a road next to a very steep slope, with two stars in the rear, that are bigger stars than himself - his words. He loses control, goes off the side and hits every rock on the way. When the car came to a halt, he thought his career was over. The stars in the back were laughing their asses off, the crew comes over and starts taking selfies and the director (i think) says to Roth: "Insurance will cover it"
"never a problem, always a solution" that is a thing my dad would say when you had one of those bad days at work, sure it might take a tea break to think of the solution and overall cost a bit of money and time to get the job done but these things happen, you take the next best option and people that cant understand that should probably not be in business.
When your in charge in future, remember to be humble and listen to those around you and be able to admit in real time that you might be wrong.. might.
@ahuggingsam: One thing you can do when you see the disaster coming, is to raise the issue with a supervisor. Acknowledge your lack of seniority, that you realize this may be overstepping, and maybe you don't have the experience to see correctly, but nevertheless, this is the outcome you see, and you feel that a responsible employee would speak up about it. Reassure them that you will follow whichever course is chosen, and that you are doing this in the vein of having their back, not questioning their decisions. Sent in an email would have protected you when it was dumped it at your feet, as you could show that you were well aware of the potential outcome, but did not have the rank to influence the choice to a significant degree. If they are bad employers, then any form of standing up for yourself will not have a good outcome, and you should, indeed, not take it personally, suck it up, and get out as soon as is reasonable.
You made a good point with saying "reassure them you'll follow whichever course is chosen". As an IC, my job is to do the heavy lifting on an engineering project as directed, and provide the best advice I can to management when appropriate. My job is NOT to make decisions regarding the company's direction unless I'm specifically asked, nor to dictate how a project is run. I will, however, keep scrupulous written records of what I'm told to do and any suggestions/advice I may give.
As far as the friendship aspect it's also important to remember an apology without a change in behavior is NOT an apology.
As someone who is self-employed along with my fiancee, this is INDISPENSABLE wisdom. Some, I'm already familiar with, but regardless it's just good to hear again and again.
Apropos of nothing in the video, but... I wanted to compliment how the recent rearrangement of the cave has positively impacted the lighting in videos like this. Not that the lighting was in any way bad before, but it is so nice to see some natural light coming in as you are talking. Gives the video a nice comfortable feel.
As a construction supervisor, i used to insist that your problem solving questions should include at least one possible solution. It encouraged people to work things out on their own rather than just outsource their thinking process. Even better, if their solution turned out to be the one chosen, it grew their confidence in future problem solving. Occasionally I would declare a “Answer free Friday” where apprentice questions only met with my “what do you think we should do?”
Don’t bring me your problems without an accompanying potential solution.
I like the fact that Adam answered the first request for advice, but deftly framed it in such a way that it politely cut through the member's, let's call it "un-self-critical", presentation of the situation. I'm sure we all can feel victimized at times by management, but advice about honest self-awareness without being accusatory is always helpful.
You are such a great man Adam. Truly a brilliant role model of our modern age.
Yup, I think I said it on one of your last stream videos. When something goes wrong, it's not who's to blame or anything else, it's what do we do now to fix it. Going to the customer and saying we can do x, y, or z and these are the pros/cons (to them, not to you) to each option always work out.
I just discovered your channel! I too worked in the entertainment industry for about 25 years and really appreciate your insights. I can relate to all of it. Thanks so much!
The answer to the first question is lovely. So humble. Fair play to you fella.
This video couldn't have come at a better time, as I have recently had a situation at work where I acted NOT as I should have, and affected a friendship. I've taken the same tack, resolving to see what I did wrong and never repeat it. Thanks for the wisdom and reassurance that we're all in this journey together.
As a software dev, some of my work either didn't see the light of day (Prod server) or were changed eventually. I always take pride and ownership in my work. The reason for changes usually are a chance in business requirements. My attitude is that the company pays me per hour, doesn't matter what I do, or how well I do it *but* most importantly they don't ask me to pay back the money they spend on me. So, I enjoy what I do, I give it my all, because I respect myself and my work ethics. It is up to the company to use what I've done or not. Control what you can (which is very little ;-)) and forget the rest. Protect your peace!
Jamie's suggestion of a set of solutions is one that I've used (in a completely different industry) and it works. Your superiors obviously want what they asked for, but when things go wrong they don't want excuses, they want solutions.
This is so applicable in so many professions. I was a customer service manager for several homebuilders over the span of 26 years. When you have eight or ten different subcontractors to manage, there were times when the wheels came off the wagon for one reason or another which left me facing the wrath of a homeowner. It was very tough to not take it personally and my very understanding boss had to talk me off the ledge a few times.
On the whole quit taking it personally thing, I work in IT and have numerous times over my career predicted problems from certain decisions that were made and had no one listen to me. Each time I brought up the issue, and after it was clear that I wasn't being taken seriously, I simply prepared as best as I could for the fallout and watched it happen. I have moved on from each of those companies where it happened and eventually got to a point in my career where people do listen to me when I warn about a potential problem. I never really took those instances personally, with one being somewhat of an exception, where my team was blamed and forced to work a bunch of overtime for an issue that I personally brought up to the product manager and was told that the it was a dumb thing to bring up because no one would use the software that way, but it turned out that their biggest client did use it in exactly that way. I didn't stay at the company much longer after that.
This helps me move into the future from all the things that hang in the dark cloud of working and life. Thank you Adam!
Big tip in there. Bad news hits hardest when it doesnt come with contingencies. Sometimes there wont be any, but if you can deliver bad news with options then do it.
I love this video so very, very much. I've watched it multiple times. Thank you for posting it, Adam.
Thanks Adam, I'm tried so many things and not giving up. This is what I needed as maker.
Had something similar happen at my last job. Key word is "my last job". I will never accept blame for something that is out of my control. I did however state, "I told you so".
I think prop/effects/ any of the technical stuff that takes place in the back of house in a theater or film studio flex the same muscles that astronauts have to be able to flex, IE being able to move through a disaster with limited resources and time and problem solve a solution that might not fit the platonic ideal of a solution but will still tick as many boxes off the list of needs as possible.
I had a moment working in the costume shop, i messed up something fairly important but not overly complicated, that involved some rubber casting and integrating into a costume. I instantly went into “oh shit” panic mode and scrambled to make it right, putting off eating which just made things worse. That night I sat down and wondered “what the hell am I doing things like that for, im only compounding my mistake and putting myself further behind schedule. Its nobodys fault for this mistake, its a combination of factors and bottom line, this just needs to be done.”
The next day when the redone rubber components were ready, with that mindset, they went together in maybe half an hour tops and we were back on track. That was a valuable lesson because a few months later here comes another issue, T-48 hours before the opening of the big show of the season.
Somehow or another there was a metal strut on the sewing machine table that rattled loose and got into the belt system, resulting in several things: one, the most godawful grinding/buzzing sound ever, two, the motor clutch being locked in the engaged position making the work I was sewing jump, tear and fill with a few hundred unnecessary stitches, and tripping the thermal override sensor on the motor, disabling it. All in all, the piece was ruined and everyone in the room had a massive adrenaline surge. While my coworker was getting pissed on my behalf and blowing off steam at the service tech she suspected left the part loose, i caught myself going into the “panic and try to salvage it to prove a point” loop, radioed the head of my team and explained the situation, stayed calm and said “im down a sewing machine, im going to go take my lunch break while it cools off, ive got a way to reproduce that piece in mind that should still work for the effects we need that should be ready by this afternoon, or I could try and take it all the way from the top again but that will take til the end of the day. Your call.”
Then i get back a “sounds good, run your idea and make it work”. It was extremely validating in both a “the person who hired me knows I know my stuff and trusts my calls” way and a “hell yeah I just problem solved my way out of the disaster” way as opposed to the sort of pity party I think is sort of instinctive when something hits the fan like that.
Great first question !!
You should plead your case with passion and respect, then let the decision makers make the decision.
Then let the chips fall where they may.
That's part of the job. That's how it works.
The alternative is to work by yourself... or always be the boss.
The "failing utterly, here are our options" bit reminds me of another bit of advice from a coworker/mentor of mine when I was just getting started in engineering. "Don't come half cocked with a question or a problem. Do your homework, figure out the problem and come with potential solutions as best as possible to the team before executing. And be open that you may not have a solution immediately" (paraphrasing).
Thank you for this
I needed to hear this
I got fired from my favorite job and company and was told that "you can't be trusted with our customer data". Total BS. Two days later I had a better job doing the exact same thing and was transforming that company. I refused to believe that line. I later moved to another company and had a similar role and was told on the day that I left that I did good work and my proudest moments were earning the respect of my coworkers. The story took and unbelievable twist when I received an apology years later from the people who had fired me.
The vindication from that wasn't needed because I already knew who I was and what I could do. It still hurt for a long time, and it's hard to believe all that happened, but it really taught me to believe in what you know for certain and that other people's assessments of us can rarely describe as exactly as we are (and we are always changing and improving too, so why accept untruths?).
This video has so much wisdom packed into it. So much so that I'm sure give me 5yrs from now and I'll still find something new and relatable to pull from. A lot of what you're highlighting sounds simple but only because of your experience behind it - similar to how Olympians make their specific sport look easy, yet you know it's not. Damn... good stuff. Thanks Adam and team.
Our acronym doing telephony support at a major banking institution was W.D.N.S. "We Do Not Suck." The principle was: if we ever screw up, we own it, we let people know about it, we tell them what we're going to do about it, we fix it, and we move on.
I felt that same "no time to point fingers" environment in the automotive production industry. When a line went down, something broke, or if it wasn't ready to turn on when the plant restarted after a shutdown. It was all-hands rowing in the same direction. It didn't matter if you worked in the plant or were an outside contractor (with some exception for certain unions) we were all on the same team. And with 3000 or more people coming to work the next day and the plant not operating. Everyone did whatever it took to get that machine running... It's a crazy amount of stress on a young engineer, but has prepared me for so many other stressful situations.
Question for Adam or any of you craftsman in here.
When I was growing up my grand-father taught me how to change a tire and he emphasized how important it is when putting on the nuts to evenly tighten them in a kitty corner pattern... tighten one a little... then tighten the one directly across from it... and so forth and forth.
This was also taught to me when tightening screws on projects. I noticed Adam always goes clockwise and doesn't do this. Is this an "Old Craftsman's Tale" or is there any legitimacy to it?
I love his Nostromo Weyland Yutani crew shirt! And as a person who has also severely screwed up by myself, been there. "Resolving not to do it again" is the best advice.
The Nostromo shirt was the first thing I noticed in the thumbnail before I watched the video!
I really needed to hear this 20+ years ago. Good advice.
2:07 "You're gonna make something beautiful and your supervisor's gonna hate it and you're gonna have to make it less beautiful." I've had a somewhat similar experience.
I helped someone fan-translate an anime for free (learning Japanese is one of my hobbies). Later on, after translating the show, I learned more Japanese and realized that some of my translations were wrong. After correcting them, I offered the updated translations for free, but they weren't interested.
I was so frustrated. I was like, "But I'm literally offering you a better translation for free! Why won't you just take it?!"
I like peers or supervisors who are focused on resolving an issue rather than pointing fingers. I have had several great individuals who might say "you/we screwed up, here is how... Let's do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen again" clean cut. Whereas one person in particular has spent more time trying to find who to blame rather than simply trying to resolve the problem.
I remember an example of where he and I discovered an issue with something. We were each tasked to fix a section of it. He walked around trying to find who was to blame. Meanwhile, I fixed my section and most of his section. He came back pissed at me for nearly fixing all of it because 'I was making him look bad'. The supervisor said, "Why are you complaining? He is the problem resolved single handedly"
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference....
Dont miss the loadout!!!! So true. Excellent advice all around.