They love transactional apologies - "hey, I actually apologized this time so you owe me!" They might even brag about love in words, not so much in actions.
I believe my sister is a narcissist or some type of narcissist as she hardly ever apologizes. I think maybe once in my lifetime so far? But I know another person from high school and I will not refer to her as a friend and she does this. She is a true narcissist and she likes to label everyone else as a narcissist as in projection. She drops people and then she goes back to them when she feels like it. I need no contact at this point. Last week she told me that I owed her. That was the last straw for me. She also has a drinking problem so that’s part of it. She expects everyone to be available to her when she’s available. And has no understanding if they do not. I could go on and on here. It’s endless.
1. I don’t want to make this about me, but… (conversational hijacking) 2. I am sorry you feel that way (pseudo apology) 3. Why are you doing this to me? (Permanent victim) 4. I don’t have time for this (contemptuous toss off) 5. I hope you know who you’re messing with (menace) 6. It’s not fair (immature)
Me too. Dr Ramani actually saved my life. Free from someone who tried to kill me multiple times *& blame me* after 7yrs. ....he's now in jail for a long time for the abuse & is never come back into my life.
Biggest thing i noticed about narcissist is they are different depending on who's around. They want nothing more than to uplift themselves in the eyes of others.
0:57 I don't want to make it about myself but... (Conversation hijacking) 3:10 I am sorry you feel that way (Lack of taking accountability) 4:20 Why are you doing this to me ? (Narcs have a constant ability to turn themselves to victim) 6:25 I don't have time for this 8:33 I hope you know who you are messing with 11:05 It is not fair
Three weeks ago I walked out on a narcissistic relationship that I only recognised as such after 15 years together. He was the light of my life. I ran around him like the moon does the sun. We thought ourselves a magical couple. Then we married two years ago and the tables turned. I was just his wife and was used as a full time carer and slave to our work and his ego. All the love and charm disappeared and I found myself so tired and old-feeling that I felt I would die and early death unless I got out of there. After one last argument, I left, with nothing but the clothes on my back and my passport (I was in another country) and went home to my family. It was the best thing I have ever done. I felt the years fall from my shoulders and I have a new job, I am gardening and am seeing friends again who I had missed over the years. I recommend it. Thank you for your videos. Learning that my husband was a narcissist, as is my mother - and I a codependent - has changed my life. I no longer feel tired all the time and yesterday planted up a small garden of vegetables and reclaimed my overgrown garden. I feel twenty years younger.
❤. My story same. Beginning was good, love. Care support, I'm everything for him so and so after marriage, it's about him his mom and sister his business. His friends so and so. Before I was working after pregnancy stop working, full time mum + all the households chores run by me. I worked as a florist for him. He look after all finances and rents , bills, if I asked for some money to send to my mum he'll say girls don't need to look after parents I started my own business from home, ever since any argument comes stop that business, you can't run it from my house I pay rent, 2 tines I caught him cheating me with his colleague, I had a big argument I even ended up hitting him hurting my self. I gave whole my life to him my career, my choices, the way I dress , my freedom, my friends there he's going with another woman. He started to to complain about little little thing, disrespect front of his family, front of others in public places, always you are a bad mum, bad cook, bad cleaner, bad person. Always calling me stupid lady, village lady, illiterate lady, always laughing at my choices, laughing at my body after pregnancy, can't puck the dress, heel you want , can't wear a make up or lipstick always make fin of my appearance, and dressing sense. Tell my son, don't listen to your mum she's stupid. Always threatening to throw out of the house cancelling my partner visa, past 6 months I started to fight back back with him I started cry and scream, hit my head on the wall as I'm not happy with hiw he's treating me, controlling me, hiw his mother and sister treating me. He just ignore me sing funny song make a coffee sit on the sofa start watching TV or phone and laugh. Sometimes when i fight and scream for my peace my need hell tell the son that's how your stupid mum talk all of a sudden I feel like I'm the bad person here, bad mum here cos front of my son he's a very calming person. Wooow I feel like I m the problem. I'm totally a different person than who I used to be. I get angry easily. I'm not happy fun person anymore. I used to sing and dance a lot, go out with friends, look after my parents, very peaceful and respect everyone, i was a very religious person before. Now, sometimes i don't feel like praying, I have lost my true self, i just left him 3 days ago o took my son , few belongings and left, block all the contacts of him and his family, I'm in a refugee. I don't know how im gonna settle my visa states and finances , sons education, these are the issues I'm facing right now but, I felt free from the moment I took the cab to leave that person and the area. I leave everything upon my jusus the Lord I always seek help and I always trust and believe
Yay for you, doing something that you enjoy is important and being able to make the decision without being criticized, having to defend yourself as to why, or any of the over things that people struggle with are small ways of us taking our power back
Not always. Non narcissists can legitimately be sorry something makes a person unhappy while maintaining their ethical correctness in doing it. Doctors may have to to hurt you to administer treatment. A teacher may give an award to some kid and another thinks the decision is biased, and the teacher is indeed sorry the kid thinks they’re in an unfair situation, because that’s an unpleasant situation to be in, and the teacher has empathy for them.
@@M_SC I second that. Not everything has to be malignant. Let`s say I have to work long hours for a few weeks and can`t see my family and they are bummed out about that. Why can`t I be sorry for having to stay away and sorry that they feel bummed out at the same time? (This is just an example)
I feel broken at moment. I can't believe how callous and cruel he was. Discard started two months ago and came to a head on Tuesday when his ex told me what was really going on behind my back. When confronted pure narcissism came to the front. I've cut contact and deleted every photo and chat. I'm done 😢
My ex accused me of being a "narcissist", I had no idea what a narcissist was, so I took a deep dive into narcissm and it turns out that all these traits belonged to her, not me! what a snake!
My mother spent 50 years with a narcissistic person. She was a godly woman and the mental and emotional abuse she suffered is absolutely horrific. She stayed because she didn't want myself and my children to suffer the trauma and humiliation caused by divorce. It is the saddest and hardest thing I have had to heal from. It has taken 10 years of research and healing for me to understand the dynamics of narcissistic relationships. Please, take care of yourself. You are a strong beautiful warrior and I wish you the best and sending you lots of love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@Debra Sullivan While it's difficult to leave, it's not impossible. I've walked away from a couple of 'poorly chosen' mates, and while very difficult, not impossible, thus I find no empathy. Every sanctuary has its price, yet independence offers tranquility uninterrupted by selfish interests.
@@debrasullivan7479 Yes I stayed because of my 3 children. I know I can’t expect a very deep or connected relationship which I was missing for years but because of Dr Ramani I know where I stand.
“I’m sorry if you think I was being critical and yelling at you” is not only not an apology (which the narcissist is trying to act like it is an apology), it is also gaslighting.
@Blue Heron Sebago I certainly don't understand any of those critical concerns. That's how I've completed my education, a career in the military, and a career in medicine. Some day when I've your🫨'home spun lurnin'😒, then I'll have an entire gestalt on understanding the nuances of human sociology. Nit🤨wit.
I remember calling my dad to tell him about a promotion I achieved. He said he was glad, then went on to talk for triple the amount of time to reminisce on the same work stories that he’s told 400 times already. Can’t just be a proud parent. Always went back to him somehow.
My husband is like that and it’s so damn draining. Whenever he saw me trying to work out, he would make me stop so I can count how many reps he can do of the same exercise and then blather about ‘sports’ he did as a kid 🙄 whenever I want to go for a walk to exercise and relieve my stress, he insists on coming me with and bringing the kids with us (even tho point is to walk and RELIEVE STRESS) and proceeds to leave our young kids at the playground while he ‘walks’ next to me talking to everyone on his phone list and giving me second hand smoke. I stopped walking and stopped doing anything for myself just so he would leave me alone. I wish he’d leave. I hate his guts.
@@hadilayyad6147you should really try to leave if you hate his guts girl. 😢 you’re already at your wits end. I’m so sorry 😞 but it’s always easier said than done- I understand 🫶🏻
"You always ruin everything"......" You can count on me"...." he is just my friend "....." I kissed another woman but I'm NOT bisexual "...." why are you sabotaging a good thing "?
When dealing with narcissist, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Hackspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
You are a smart one! Clever....... Im a THD student.... Let me tell you something, behind all that evil bullshit there is a spiritual realm. And let me tell you something,the entities that are pulling the strings are smarter than you.dont get too cocky...your f@ucked!
Thank you for your videos. I’ve learnt over the years that often I’ve just been in the path or the orbit of these people and that is why I’ve become their target. Various forms of abuse, harassment, attempted assault, threats to me or my property, grandiose comments about my wish to die a terrible death or come to various forms of harm are examples. 10:40 I just ignore it if there is no clear remedy for me. Eventually these people come undone and I know that can take years. Karma will also get them eventually. No one is immune to these people I don’t think. It can either make us stronger or beat us down into a spiral of depression. I’ve experienced both to a certain degree. I have learnt that the stronger one’s resolve the more able to deal with these types. Ignoring them is one skill I’ve learnt from these videos online and practice it where possible. It can frustrate them and send them into their own self-induced spiral.
You're a beautiful person and you explained it so well that no one should have any questions , unless a narcissistic person was watching and listening.
Is it the - I owe you an apology BUT, you did over react you know...anyway...I apologize that you took it so serious that you felt hurt and all.. BUT...
I would fall over if my narc ever said the words” I owe you an apology”. It’s usually like this: You should be ashamed of yourself! You owe me an apology”
Younger narc relative said “how can I get better “ only for him to victimize himself after receiving the feedback! What a walking contradiction. Some ppl aren’t REALLY sorry. They just say that to make you change your behavior towards them. In reality they don’t want to make any sacrifices
I believe Ive been with a narcissist in the past and I am living with one now. Ever since I moved in with him, he's been finding issues with a lot of things I do, don't do or say and it's been extremely frustrating trying to figure out what it is that I do that angers and upsets him. Sometimes I'm shocked by the accusations because they don't always make sense to me and sometimes I try to rationalize them so that I can be better and not anger him. I'm trying to cope but I'm starting to really wonder if he is a narcissist as well. He also criticisizes me a lot, and doesn't allow me to speak when we are having a disagreement. Like my opinion is irrelevant. Thank you for your videos, I find them very intriguing.
I just called out a man I'm dating who played the game of " sorry you feel that way". I told him I felt that way because it is based on facts and then I told him all the facts...he didn't like it and proceeded with playing the victim ( he's not the victim).
OMG, you have described my husband exactly to what he said to me, "I don't have time or I am too busy." Your advice has helped me tremendously. Thank you
I never knew how bad my relationship is until I find out that I was dealing with narcissistic husband I was listening to this video and he told me that Dr. Ramani don’t know what she saying that she’s just a woman. I answer she’s a doctor and he told me you just listening because she’s a woman. That broke the glass on my mind to understand is never going to be better.
I am so sorry you met these narcissictic people, Dr. Ramani. And I am glad you got rid of them. Ever since watching YT videos on narcissism, I have been able to identify it, but also to weapon myself against these people. I feel so much stronger. Thank you for that.
These shows really help me keep strong boundaries with the narcissist in my life, who I don't have the luxury of leaving on the wayside. These shows are a service to humanity.❤
When dealing with narcissists, I won't say "I'm sorry you feel that way". Infact, I won't say "sorry" to them for ANYTHING, whether I am or not. I find saying "I'm sorry" to a narcissists dangerous because it is basic admittance, from the narcissist's perspective, that you admit you are wrong, agree you are wrong, vindicate the "victim" (read: narcissist), and that you are solely responsible for EVERYTHING (whether related to the topic at hand, or not), admit to and agree to the "fact" you're a "loser" and "always will be", and that you admit and agree you "deserve" any abuse the narcissist gives you, with no right or permission to object or defend yourself. That's what "I'm sorry" means to a narcissist. All they hear is that you're sorry. They don't care why. When dealing with a narcissist, I will instead say "It is unfortunate that you feel that way." But this is ONLY when dealing with a narcissist. If the person is NOT a narcissist, I am quite open to apologizing for any mistakes and not just saying 'I'm sorry you feel that way" but actually give a PROPER apology. It's basic courtesy, honesty, and respect for the other person. But narcissists are not entitled to ANYTHING. LEAST of all any basic courtesy, honesty, and/or respect because they're narcissists and spend their time hurting people and creating REAL victims because of their toxic abusive behaviour.
Thank you for this. I love the ‘it’s unfortunate you feel this way’ as an option to use for narcs. I got tired of over apologizing to an ex narc friend who constantly criticized bullied and blamed me for everything. Nothing I ever did was right or good enough for her. So I used the ‘Im sorry you feel this way’ to try to disengage from it without taking responsibility for something I didn’t do. I also thought Dr Ramani suggested saying that at some point to disengage with narcs who are always accusing you of things you didn’t do. But yes I love that suggestion of yours, so thank you 😊
When my narc mother recently wrote a letter saying she got a hip surgery (implicating she's desperate for help but never saying it loud) I would use the word "regrettable" but declined anything else. She has to eat from her own fruit now (Proverbs 1) and reap what she sowed.
I’ve dealt with at least 3 narcissists that I know of, all in workplace settings. It’s been a couple months since I’ve had to deal with the most recent one, but these videos still help me wrap my head around all the mind-f***ery that happened, even though some of the abuse occurred years ago. Thank you for the content!
I never realized until recently looking back, why all the douchebag managers and annoying coworkers I had over the years were like that. Only now do I realize many were likely narcs.
My mother is one of the most toxic narcissists in my life. Thank you Dr. Ramani for these videos, they provide me so much catharsis to manage her in my life.
A Narcistic person is Demon Possesed...My own brother was also a Narcist but when i prayed to Jesus to set him Free and i kept on Praying Persistently for days and Even Weeks he eventually got Set Free! Whoever the Son of God has Set free is Free and Free INDEED! 😄Believe in the Words of Jesus People every thing is possible with him that is Obedient to the words of Jesus Christ and pray's according to His will🙏💟Also sin will take us to Hell...
My total sympathy. And I thought my mother was the narcissist to end all narcissists. It's only now at 67 that I've realised how entirely her narcissism meant that I never lived my hopes nor fulfilled my potential. But I tell myself that the only way is onward. Still can't forgive or forget though 😢
Your channel is truelly helping me! A person like me that has Epilepsy and is dealing with a narcissistic partner is very very difficult the stress they cause isn't good for my health.
The apology one is a good one, I remember the narcissist say to me “I will apologize if you do “ but he never apologized he just wanted to hear me say it so I would take responsibility. What a sneaky tactic.
You actually got the opportunity to be the better person and come out cleaner because you apologized for anything that could have been held against you (even if you were in the right) and trained yourself to apologize, which is a very important skill with health relationships, which I hope you are now in and benefitting from. Good for you.
@@gilashroot8697 thank you for being supportive, I’m not sure that the situation at the time really required one. These types of people will do anything for supply it’s unbelievable 😖
I recently was experiencing real stress being around someone and couldn’t figure out why they were having that impact on me. I’m talking like high blood pressure and lack of sleep. Irritable almost immediately around them and constantly feeling like I had to walk on eggshells and “keep the peace” around this person. Watching these videos and learning about exactly what narcissists are helped me so much. I didn’t realize how toxic and dangerous it truly is to be connected to someone who is genuinely like this. Thankyou so much for sharing this info!
I can testify to the dangerously painful blood pressure spike to point of hyperventilation and anxiety attack as well as lack of sleep caused by one short conversation engagement literally ruining my physical health for the rest of day and the next. And made beyond irritable it was like catching a flu from someone except is was energetic poison . Actually felt ill . Important note this person was a stranger not even someone I know. But I do have experience and past with Navasota so I immediately recognized the manifestation
I experienced those same health issues. I fault on high alert. She told me I didn't know how to handle my life and she goes with the flow. I told her I never had these health problems until I met her. We broke up, and long and behold...my physical health increased but my broken heart is still healing from the mess.
@@phoenixsky-ye7yxI can relate to your experience. One bad conversation and I was emotionally ill all day. My brain would shut down at work and I wouldn't fuction properly and forget alot things. I felt emotionally compromised. It was like being SICK without being sick. I knew the only way to survive was to walk away and save myself. I'm healing better but I miss the connection with her. 1 week after the break up she was dating someone new. My heart shattered from the lack of respect because she says I mistreated her, and expects her wants and needs to be fulfilled with someone new.😢
Oh my god , I have the same experience with my boyfriend, my blood pressure was raised often , I could not sleep at night and feel irritable all the time .I have realised he is narcissistic . I am leaving him now I realise he is trying to destroy my life .
Thank you dr Ramani. ❤ Narcisists live to intimidate their victims and the feeling of unease and tension they are trying to create in the relationships serves their purpose to dominate and control. All the narcisists seek is power, control and dominance and it stems from their fear and insecurity.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@Emilio Yepez its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
I also know narcissists who say, “But I didn’t do anything,” always in a whiny voice. Notice how they start this sentence with a “but” - always deflecting and playing the victim. I’m so glad you are now in a safe and sound place Dr. Ramani. ❤
Dr Ramani i'm so sorry that you had to go through that horrific experience. I've been there and can relate. Kudos to you for having the strength and courage today to talk about it and share with others. It's important that others, who have had like experiences, know that someone out there can relate to them. Blessings.
Thank you Dr You actually made my situation very clear to me . Now i know what happened to me.I feel like “now i see better” when everything was so ambiguous.Everything makes sense now
Thank you for also sharing your personal experiences. I appreciate it. I understand the psychopathy of the threats of abusers.. how they enjoy threatening your life & scaring you. No one ought to live like that.
@@CBELLA952 I understand. I am very sorry to hear that. I hope you have some very good supportive people in your life that may be you can stay at their place this weekend or the next few days so you can get a bit of rest. I also hope you have taken multiple safety measures as allowing the authorities to know. I know also how night terrors are also a symptom, so please be gentle and compassionate to yourself.
I remember once asking my husband if he was feeling better that morning since he hadn't felt well the day before. Imagine my shock and confusion when he blew up, asking me in a loud voice if I was saying that there was something wrong with him! He went on a lengthy tirade that made me wonder if he were losing his cognitive abilities. Everything began to make sense once I found these videos by Dr. Ramani. I'm so grateful for these!
@Sim I really believe that he and his lover may have been planning to do away with me. His rage may have been caused by other strong emotions underneath the rage. God got me out safely!
I appreciate you sharing your experiences! I don’t feel so foolish and alone anymore. Keep up the good fight ❤I was really giving myself a hard time but now I see how many of us are in a similar situation
I had a Narc in my life that would take "Why are you doing this to me?" to the extreme. It was always "Why is the Universe doing this to me?!?!?" He tried to Hoover me after 16 years of separation and started the conversation by trauma dumping all over me (Didn't bother to ask what I'd been up to or going through in the past 16 years) And after telling me of all his woes, still threw in "I guess the Universe is punishing me for all the people I've hurt..." I was so beyond over him at that point that it took everything I had not to blurt out "You are such an insignificant speck in the grand scheme of the Universe. The shit that happened to you is shit that happens to everyone in life! Get over yourself!" But I was doing my best to engage as little as possible. And the Hoovering did not work!
my narc checks 4.5 out of the 6 phrases. (#5 is more verbal threats over time, leaving me thinking that he'll ruin me if i try to leave). finding your videos is a godsend, especially because you dont villianize people who may still be in these relationships, and offer coping strategies. it's not always as easy as DTMFA. i consider(ed) myself a smart woman, but I question myself every day now because of years of this type of talk. you are providing a great service!
Wow! This was so informative. My sibling did not used to be narcissistic but in their mid fifties has now changed into a totally angry bully. She wants to dominate and control everything. This is so much unlike her earlier self that I hardly recognize her.
@@mammadingo9165 she became burnt out from being overworked and taken advantage by some family members. She had two fine examples of narcissism in her life with our mother and sister, so took up the game.
Literally just going through a conversation that could not be interpreted correctly with true intentions (could not understand the sincerity of my statement) just a 45 minute period ago, so I got up to walk around outside as the other one took a phone call, and I played this one video... And is very informative and I am taking notes to better heal and understand why the other one could possibly not understand this... I have researched NPD videos on TH-cam and today I have strengthened tools in conversation with other one. Bottom line, thank you for your video... Blessings Kristopher
These videos have been very enlightening,an essential education. I actually understand the people that have baffled me for the last decade. Only now I feel depressed from all the "awareness"...
This is very helpful. It really hit home with me growing up with an older sister who is a narcissist. Took me a long time to learn how to deal with it all.
Got a letter from my mother-in-law. My best friend summed it up, to basically she was saying, ‘don’t you see how your marriage falling apart is affecting me’.
Recently my mother in law texted me saying, I'm probably the last person you want to talk too but I'm hear for you if you need to talk" I text back Thank you but why was she saying that? Her reply was that she spoke to her son ( my husband) and he didn't know where I was and that I was mad at him. He knew exactly where I was, I was at work! I told his mom that I was mad at the fact that I was at work and he decided to get drunk when he was supposed to watch the kids 10,13,14. And I didn't think it was right for him to be drinking when he was suppose to be the responsible adult at home and that I was tired of it. Her reply was well, looks like you made your decision since you're tired of his drinking and she was sad it's come down to this and that my family was hurting because I was working more hours. Her son idoes not have a job...WTF!!! Really??? I need to pay bills and care go my kids and she saw nothing wrong with him getting drunk while I was working a 2nd job. So, I'm the problem WTF???
Your new videos always seem to pop up when I am in a situation with my ex who is a narcissist. Thank you for always giving the right advice on how to rid oneself of the damage that the narcissist always seem to give.
1. "I don't want to make this about me, but ..." 2. "I am sorry that you feel this way." 3. "Why are you doing this to me?" 4. "I just don't have time for this." 5. "Do you even know who you're messing with?" 6. "It's not fair."
Thank You!... For your time in making sense, dotting the eyes, helping people to make an understanding of Norci. The person I know things, growing up with a Parent Norci. was HELL enough but it prepared me in life.
„I am sorry that it made you feel you need a break …“ Now I understand what was so irritating about this apology. It was none! I felt so bad when he said that and I could not figure out what’s so wrong about his apology.
Oh yes. "Why are you doing this to me?" Still an improvement over perpetual angry screaming, but exhausting in its own way. I remember that with Mother going to the grocery store or just out for a drink (Diet Pepsi, never alcohol) was always seen as open treason unless it was on her orders. I was in my thirties.
omg, it hurts to hear your personal experiences with narcissists, but being a survivor myself, I find it extraordinarily courageous that you shared it on a public forum...and you did it with such grey rock emotion 😁 please keep being you forever. lots of us get a lot from it.
Wow. You got that far with them?? The conversation usually gets deflected into sexual comments within the first 60 seconds to avoid any accountability. The seriousness of talking about issues makes her uncomfortable.
Thank you Dr Ramani, I have listened to many of your videos. I have been married to a Narcissist for 21 years and am only learning to cope now. One thing I have never heard you mention is a Narcissist being a Hypochondriac. I had cancer at some point and HE was definitely in worse shape than me!!! He was constantly telling me about every ailment imaginable that he was suffering from. Grrrrrr I wish I could leave.
I have a highly narcissistic cousin who didn’t converse, he took the pulpit with every “conversation.” My then therapist advised, on any future interaction, to just jump in with something I wanted to say rather than just let him run on and on. So, one night I tried this. I interjected a thought of my own into his nonstop monologue. His reaction astounded me. He just looked at me and asked, point-blank, “Are we going to talk about YOU or ME? “
Self-centeredness to the highest degree. And remember there is healthy self-centered behavior, healthy pride, healthy assertiveness, a healthy personal agenda. We all do these things as we are the focal point of our own life, obviously. But the narcissist takes this to a whole new level and makes nearly every aspect of it as toxic to others as possible.
@@preparedsurvivalist2245 What was so astounding was how angry he was. It was like ,”How dare you.” I was invited into his company for the sole purpose of listening to him and, hopefully, with his every utterance, going, “Wow.”
Oh the stories I could add. When my therapist finally placed it on the table the cruelty I was put in in bio family growing up / and knew no different - mind blowing .since I’ve studied more ( and thank you Dr. Ramani ) , I take notes and in margins list the narcissists - I’ve had to deal with / some horrible and some just ridiculously self absorbed . I am wary and also take self protections . Now I can stay clear . I also Dr. Ramani , saved emails and texts to show lawyer in case of need of order of protection . All the while, even though my family - there were times I should have called the police . In the 50s and 60s , we didn’t talk family with friends. I was alone . Now, free and clear , don’t speak with work narcissists because I don’t have to , don’t speak with siblings because I’ve gone no contact , see narcissists and ego maniacs in my husbands family ….. I am slowly healing . Thank you for your part in this journey .
Sometimes they can be dangerous. My cousin pushed me down the cement stairs going to the basement from the hallway of the house. I was two and one half and sitting in a stroller. Her mother was taking care of me while my mother was at work. My cousin was jealous that my mother adopted me and the family paid attention to me and played with me. Her meanest didn’t stop but she pretended to be nice to draw me in. Thank goodness she is living in another state.
Sometimes ?? True Narcissists are extremely Dangerous. I had a parent and sibling. A parent who never loved me. I needed my mom. I thought it was me. In my 50’s I knew the truth. It was beyond excruciating. You never heal from the horror. A sibling who should be stopped for their criminal acts of cruelty against you. I am so fearful of this sibling. I have no one to protect me from him. People don’t understand the Narcissists enjoy inflicting physical pain and psychological torture. Not everyone can protect themselves. And especially when one has disabilities. Society tends to look the other way when we are adults and terribly afraid. I cannot tell my situation on this board due to the sensitive horror. No one would believe the terror, feeling helpless, so much sadness. We are grown ups. We’re supposed to be able to handle these serious issues. Many Narcissists are relentless. They will not let you go until they have destroyed you ! It’s a horror movie. I have had 3 individuals in my life who were Narcissists. I no longer exist. They have ruined me in every sense of the word. It has plagued my soul with such fear.
@@CBELLA952 please talk to a professional or even your priest who has training. It is never too late. God bless you dear. I had parents that were not perfect but they loved me so much and I went to a Roman Catholic school and became close to God. That helps. I blamed myself for years. I thought I was lacking. My cousin made me believe that. I loved her. I had no brothers or sisters. I was the youngest in the family and she should of watched out for me. She told me I was not wanted by my birth parents. Long story. But six years ago I found my birth sister, brother, cousin and uncle. They are wonderful. She is jealous. She barely talks to any of the family anymore. She is living in another state.
I'd like to see a video on what I call narcissistic rebound. I consider myself a recovering codependent. I've noticed narcissistic traits in myself that I know are an over-correction for my previous lack of boundaries. I'm curious to know if others have seen this in themselves. My hypothesis is that this may explain why we see narcissistic traits in ourselves as we start to come out of codependency.
Yeah I also found many almost all of the signs of a narcissistic personality disorder...I want to change ..and I m afraid how bad it is to be a narcissist ..I don't wanna ruin others life . I don't know what I should do?
I've noticed this too, I think it is over-compensation. As we get away from the offender we make DOUBLE SURE nobody does it to us again. As time passes I get a more even keel and the traits settle down.
Remember the intention behind it. A codependent healing isn't being narcissistic. A true narc's intentions are selfish, manipulative, coercive, unstable, stagnant, doesn't want growth. A healing codependent's intentions are for growth, change, boundary setting, and betterment of the self and relationships. Overcompensating makes sense bc u are "trying on" different ways of setting boundaries, letting go of toxicity, and gaining ur sense of self back. You may swing in many directions until u find a place that feels centered and like "you" once again 🤗 ♥
They may also say, "I am sorry I can't meet your needs or give you what you need in a healthy relationship." Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani, I agree with all those❤️
7 years spent with a narcissist. About 3 years after I ran, I'm still trying to make sure I made the right move. Your videos are clearing up a lot of stuff. Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. Well said that it does not restore fairness, but brings clarity, which at least levels the playing field in terms of emotional regulation and ability to face the emotional abuse. Thank you for the practical ways to address these. Thank you for sharing your stories because it helps that even you went through these things. I am deeply sorry that you went through them and as grateful that you are sharing and helping me. Thank you for clarifying a pattern I could not articulate. Thank you for continually posting and reminding me that what I went through and am still going through is real and to be documented so I never forget or doubt it. I hope you have either completely cleared up as much as possible or are getting to that point the current suffering you are going through. I am so sorry you have to face it, but thank you for being brave enough to expose it and deal with it. This, walking your talk, makes you a role model and hero.
Dr Ramani, you have helped me more than I can put into words. Everything you say resonates with my (now ex) relationship and the ways you've suggested to respond made so much difference. The 'too me', the 'why now', 'I didn't need that now' etc etc
Thank you so much for all the help and wisdom you provide with everything you do. You are, by far, the most insightful, helpful person I have ever "come across" anywhere. Your hard work and expertise has helped me to rationalize and understand that the narcissists throughtout my life have tried to make me think I'm crazy because their personalities depend on it just as much as humans depend on water. Thank you, thank you!
Dr. Ramani, good morning, when our daughter's first child, and our first grand baby was a baby girl, one day I said "I think E is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen", her response was, what about me, wasn't I a beautiful baby?" I couldn't believe what she was saying about her own baby to her own mother. That was twenty-five yrs. ago. Thank you Dr. Ramani
I’m so sorry how they treated you. This is not what love is. I’m glad you left them. You deserve to be happy and loved. Please be safe and healthy. Thank you for the video.
My narcissistic Auntie and her enablers have been trying to reach out to me asking me what they’ve done to me after years of disrespect and pushing me around, asides me explaining to my cousin how disrespectful they’ve been, I can’t seem to explain myself to the rest because I know they won’t understand.
Had a mean & miserable relative 'uncle' who verbally & emotionally abused me ( & his enabling family) and when around 24 yrs I asked him to leave our home after he had raged at me in front of my tired working mom one evening, he started a smear-campaign!! But I never ever met him again. He tried to interfere in my life behind my back in many ways, but I simply ignored him & his enablers/flying monkeys.
Oh I have a narc auntie. If you met her at first you would think she was as sweet as pie. She is the devil. I am full no contact 10 yrs now. Life is good.
I asked my narc sister "Why do you abuse me like this?" and her reply sealed why I went no contact. She said, "Because of the way you react." That is classic narcissism. On Facebook, she said, "I'm usually nice to people, but I can be a B.... if I need to be." She also conducted a smear campaign against me on Facebook, telling all about the fact that I had been in therapy and was taking "mood altering" medications, as if thats a bad thing. Narcissist are worse than police. Everything you say and do will definitely be used against you. The minute you know a person is a narcissist, do not tell the narcissist or their flying monkeys anything about yourself.
Great advice, my experience is that Narcissistic people are un happy miserable people, why we want to be friend with them, to begin with, however when is come to close family, I just see them a little as possible, when I see them I keep a short conversation and move on to the next person, as I did recently in a dinner that I was invited when I asked to remove the Narcissistic person that was sitting beside me to the other side of the table and I haver a great time, learning to protect myself. 😊👍👍👍
Thank you for saying that right away, about not being a narcissist JUST because you've said a phrase, that it is so much more than that, like the lack of empathy and grandiose behavior. My husband has me so messed up that I feel guilty for how HE treats me. Ive always been told that I'm more of an empath, and that I need to be careful with that. I care too much, which is something he definitely found attractive. He twists reality so much that I start to question if Im the problem, even though he has realized and admitted that he is in fact a narcissist. Thanks for the reminder. Im sure many others needed to hear it too.
Narcs only apologize when they need something…the apology isn’t genuine
They love transactional apologies - "hey, I actually apologized this time so you owe me!"
They might even brag about love in words, not so much in actions.
@@Astral_DuskOR, “i’ll apologize if you do this” you’re asking an award for taking accountability that you did something wrong😭
Narcs, you mean drug agents?
They never apologise 😂
I believe my sister is a narcissist or some type of narcissist as she hardly ever apologizes. I think maybe once in my lifetime so far? But I know another person from high school and I will not refer to her as a friend and she does this. She is a true narcissist and she likes to label everyone else as a narcissist as in projection. She drops people and then she goes back to them when she feels like it. I need no contact at this point. Last week she told me that I owed her. That was the last straw for me. She also has a drinking problem so that’s part of it. She expects everyone to be available to her when she’s available. And has no understanding if they do not. I could go on and on here. It’s endless.
1. I don’t want to make this about me, but… (conversational hijacking)
2. I am sorry you feel that way (pseudo apology)
3. Why are you doing this to me? (Permanent victim)
4. I don’t have time for this (contemptuous toss off)
5. I hope you know who you’re messing with (menace)
6. It’s not fair (immature)
I never said that! Your crazy.
This kind of education saved my life
@@katie195 ooo
Same
Me too. Dr Ramani actually saved my life.
Free from someone who tried to kill me multiple times *& blame me* after 7yrs.
....he's now in jail for a long time for the abuse & is never come back into my life.
Same!
Facts
Biggest thing i noticed about narcissist is they are different depending on who's around. They want nothing more than to uplift themselves in the eyes of others.
100%
Oohhh, you sure said it! They are "marvels" in a crowd. I always think of Billy Joel's song line "you had to be the big shot didn't ya?"
So very true- and I think narcissists are very selective with whom they choose to be their victim.
True!
While trashing you to look good if needed!
100% correct.
0:57 I don't want to make it about myself but... (Conversation hijacking)
3:10 I am sorry you feel that way (Lack of taking accountability)
4:20 Why are you doing this to me ? (Narcs have a constant ability to turn themselves to victim)
6:25 I don't have time for this
8:33 I hope you know who you are messing with
11:05 It is not fair
Thank you fr this list HO. ✌🍀🌼👍👌
Thanks for this list!
Thank you for making the list of 🚩
Thank you, I looked for this. 😘
Awesome. Thanks
Three weeks ago I walked out on a narcissistic relationship that I only recognised as such after 15 years together. He was the light of my life. I ran around him like the moon does the sun. We thought ourselves a magical couple. Then we married two years ago and the tables turned. I was just his wife and was used as a full time carer and slave to our work and his ego. All the love and charm disappeared and I found myself so tired and old-feeling that I felt I would die and early death unless I got out of there. After one last argument, I left, with nothing but the clothes on my back and my passport (I was in another country) and went home to my family. It was the best thing I have ever done. I felt the years fall from my shoulders and I have a new job, I am gardening and am seeing friends again who I had missed over the years. I recommend it. Thank you for your videos. Learning that my husband was a narcissist, as is my mother - and I a codependent - has changed my life. I no longer feel tired all the time and yesterday planted up a small garden of vegetables and reclaimed my overgrown garden. I feel twenty years younger.
Well done leaving. Best wishes.
❤. My story same. Beginning was good, love. Care support, I'm everything for him so and so after marriage, it's about him his mom and sister his business. His friends so and so. Before I was working after pregnancy stop working, full time mum + all the households chores run by me. I worked as a florist for him. He look after all finances and rents , bills, if I asked for some money to send to my mum he'll say girls don't need to look after parents I started my own business from home, ever since any argument comes stop that business, you can't run it from my house I pay rent, 2 tines I caught him cheating me with his colleague, I had a big argument I even ended up hitting him hurting my self. I gave whole my life to him my career, my choices, the way I dress , my freedom, my friends there he's going with another woman. He started to to complain about little little thing, disrespect front of his family, front of others in public places, always you are a bad mum, bad cook, bad cleaner, bad person. Always calling me stupid lady, village lady, illiterate lady, always laughing at my choices, laughing at my body after pregnancy, can't puck the dress, heel you want , can't wear a make up or lipstick always make fin of my appearance, and dressing sense. Tell my son, don't listen to your mum she's stupid. Always threatening to throw out of the house cancelling my partner visa, past 6 months I started to fight back back with him I started cry and scream, hit my head on the wall as I'm not happy with hiw he's treating me, controlling me, hiw his mother and sister treating me. He just ignore me sing funny song make a coffee sit on the sofa start watching TV or phone and laugh. Sometimes when i fight and scream for my peace my need hell tell the son that's how your stupid mum talk all of a sudden I feel like I'm the bad person here, bad mum here cos front of my son he's a very calming person. Wooow I feel like I m the problem. I'm totally a different person than who I used to be. I get angry easily. I'm not happy fun person anymore. I used to sing and dance a lot, go out with friends, look after my parents, very peaceful and respect everyone, i was a very religious person before. Now, sometimes i don't feel like praying, I have lost my true self, i just left him 3 days ago o took my son , few belongings and left, block all the contacts of him and his family, I'm in a refugee. I don't know how im gonna settle my visa states and finances , sons education, these are the issues I'm facing right now but, I felt free from the moment I took the cab to leave that person and the area. I leave everything upon my jusus the Lord I always seek help and I always trust and believe
Yay for you, doing something that you enjoy is important and being able to make the decision without being criticized, having to defend yourself as to why, or any of the over things that people struggle with are small ways of us taking our power back
Soooo happy for you!! I also broke free from a narcissist and feel so peaceful and filled with joy ✨✨✨
I'm 15 yrs in, we have a kid in school. I have no idea what to do.
I'm sorry you feel that way, reframed honestly - "I'm sorry you're having feelings that are inconvenient for ME."
Not always. Non narcissists can legitimately be sorry something makes a person unhappy while maintaining their ethical correctness in doing it.
Doctors may have to to hurt you to administer treatment.
A teacher may give an award to some kid and another thinks the decision is biased, and the teacher is indeed sorry the kid thinks they’re in an unfair situation, because that’s an unpleasant situation to be in, and the teacher has empathy for them.
@@M_SC I second that. Not everything has to be malignant. Let`s say I have to work long hours for a few weeks and can`t see my family and they are bummed out about that. Why can`t I be sorry for having to stay away and sorry that they feel bummed out at the same time? (This is just an example)
@Geneva Lawrence - I agree with you, when it comes to narcs.
My mother said this shit to me.
Yes! Or "i'm sorry I have to HEAR about your feelings"
I love how Dr Ramani acknowledges they get away with so much. It’s one of the most hurtful and frustrating aspects of experiencing a narc
Neighbor. Getsaway with crimes, viciousness,
Some people in society are enablers and tell the victims/survivors to put up with the narcissist''s b.s.
It will always catch up to them later down just watch.
They never truly pay for their bad behaviors. Most of it they blame on someone else. It's insane.
I feel broken at moment. I can't believe how callous and cruel he was. Discard started two months ago and came to a head on Tuesday when his ex told me what was really going on behind my back. When confronted pure narcissism came to the front. I've cut contact and deleted every photo and chat. I'm done 😢
If someone is being a jerk to me, I 100% don't have time for it. I've done my time in toxic relationships, and I'm done.
Metoo😮 4:16
Seriously!
You sound like a lot of fun.
Me too!
Same
My ex accused me of being a "narcissist", I had no idea what a narcissist was, so I took a deep dive into narcissm and it turns out that all these traits belonged to her, not me! what a snake!
I have been married to a narcissist for 40 years. He is always a victim. You have helped me immensely. Thanks for doing these shows ❤️
My mother spent 50 years with a narcissistic person. She was a godly woman and the mental and emotional abuse she suffered is absolutely horrific.
She stayed because she didn't want myself and my children to suffer the trauma and humiliation caused by divorce.
It is the saddest and hardest thing I have had to heal from. It has taken 10 years of research and healing for me to understand the dynamics of narcissistic relationships.
Please, take care of yourself. You are a strong beautiful warrior and I wish you the best and sending you lots of love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@Debra Sullivan While it's difficult to leave, it's not impossible. I've walked away from a couple of 'poorly chosen' mates, and while very difficult, not impossible, thus I find no empathy. Every sanctuary has its price, yet independence offers tranquility uninterrupted by selfish interests.
@@debrasullivan7479 Yes I stayed because of my 3 children. I know I can’t expect a very deep or connected relationship which I was missing for years but because of Dr Ramani I know where I stand.
“I’m sorry if you think I was being critical and yelling at you” is not only not an apology (which the narcissist is trying to act like it is an apology), it is also gaslighting.
@Blue Heron Sebago I certainly don't understand any of those critical concerns. That's how I've completed my education, a career in the military, and a career in medicine. Some day when I've your🫨'home spun lurnin'😒, then I'll have an entire gestalt on understanding the nuances of human sociology. Nit🤨wit.
Let’s start with “ I was only kidding.”
Yup I re,remember she asked to be f,buddies and I said he'll no then she said I was kidding 😮
alllll the time...
Or u r too sensitive
I remember calling my dad to tell him about a promotion I achieved. He said he was glad, then went on to talk for triple the amount of time to reminisce on the same work stories that he’s told 400 times already. Can’t just be a proud parent. Always went back to him somehow.
The same old back in my day stories 🤦🏾♂️ Narcissist can’t resist re-telling the same stories over and over again. It’s so annoying 🤮
They’re all this way. When you talk about something good that happened to you you’re siphoning air from their balloon.
My husband is like that and it’s so damn draining. Whenever he saw me trying to work out, he would make me stop so I can count how many reps he can do of the same exercise and then blather about ‘sports’ he did as a kid 🙄 whenever I want to go for a walk to exercise and relieve my stress, he insists on coming me with and bringing the kids with us (even tho point is to walk and RELIEVE STRESS) and proceeds to leave our young kids at the playground while he ‘walks’ next to me talking to everyone on his phone list and giving me second hand smoke. I stopped walking and stopped doing anything for myself just so he would leave me alone. I wish he’d leave. I hate his guts.
Your dad is my mother. It never ends.
@@hadilayyad6147you should really try to leave if you hate his guts girl. 😢 you’re already at your wits end. I’m so sorry 😞 but it’s always easier said than done- I understand 🫶🏻
What about:
- Not apologizing at all
- "You are exeggarating"
- "It's your fault"
- "You are always like that"
Definitely red flags. Actually, when I hear these, I run. These are like “you don’t know who you’re messing with”. Run.
"You always ruin everything"......" You can count on me"...." he is just my friend "....." I kissed another woman but I'm NOT bisexual "...." why are you sabotaging a good thing "?
"You're too sensitive." "Your sisters don't think that."
"You need to tell me (not want me to ask you anything about you)"
All I asked was a apology she literally couldn't do it refused over n over
Changing the subject constantly
I get “what!?” All the time. I laughed when I saw that my sisters boyfriend was pulling it with her over Facebook 😂
Narcissists are emotional/psychological vampires who take, take, take and never give.
Facts
I think of them more as psychological terrorists 😢
It should be a crime in a healthy society for these people to walk freely
I have a 56 yr old daughter like this. I finally had to permanently walk away from her.
They also take financially
When dealing with narcissist, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Hackspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
You are a smart one!
Clever.......
Im a THD student....
Let me tell you something, behind all that evil bullshit there is a spiritual realm.
And let me tell you something,the entities that are pulling the strings are smarter than you.dont get too cocky...your f@ucked!
wow! well said!
I am so sorry you had to suffer from narcissistic abuse. Thank you for your kindness in educating us and warning us about narcissism.
Thank you!
Thank you for your videos. I’ve learnt over the years that often I’ve just been in the path or the orbit of these people and that is why I’ve become their target. Various forms of abuse, harassment, attempted assault, threats to me or my property, grandiose comments about my wish to die a terrible death or come to various forms of harm are examples. 10:40 I just ignore it if there is no clear remedy for me. Eventually these people come undone and I know that can take years. Karma will also get them eventually. No one is immune to these people I don’t think. It can either make us stronger or beat us down into a spiral of depression. I’ve experienced both to a certain degree. I have learnt that the stronger one’s resolve the more able to deal with these types. Ignoring them is one skill I’ve learnt from these videos online and practice it where possible. It can frustrate them and send them into their own self-induced spiral.
You're a beautiful person and you explained it so well that no one should have any questions , unless a narcissistic person was watching and listening.
Probably, a narcissist wouldn't have time for this!
My narc thinks saying “I owe you an apology” is the same as saying “im sorry”
Is it the - I owe you an apology BUT, you did over react you know...anyway...I apologize that you took it so serious that you felt hurt and all.. BUT...
If I hear a phrase like this I reply with "Go ahead!"
I would fall over if my narc ever said the words” I owe you an apology”. It’s usually like this: You should be ashamed of yourself! You owe me an apology”
Younger narc relative said “how can I get better “ only for him to victimize himself after receiving the feedback! What a walking contradiction. Some ppl aren’t REALLY sorry. They just say that to make you change your behavior towards them. In reality they don’t want to make any sacrifices
😂. Hope you can end the relationship and replace it with only many healthy ones ❤.
I believe Ive been with a narcissist in the past and I am living with one now. Ever since I moved in with him, he's been finding issues with a lot of things I do, don't do or say and it's been extremely frustrating trying to figure out what it is that I do that angers and upsets him. Sometimes I'm shocked by the accusations because they don't always make sense to me and sometimes I try to rationalize them so that I can be better and not anger him.
I'm trying to cope but I'm starting to really wonder if he is a narcissist as well. He also criticisizes me a lot, and doesn't allow me to speak when we are having a disagreement. Like my opinion is irrelevant.
Thank you for your videos, I find them very intriguing.
I just called out a man I'm dating who played the game of " sorry you feel that way". I told him I felt that way because it is based on facts and then I told him all the facts...he didn't like it and proceeded with playing the victim ( he's not the victim).
You know it's time to exit, right?
Run
I say don't run YET.
Yes run before it is too late
So I guess it's time to quit dating?
OMG, you have described my husband exactly to what he said to me, "I don't have time or I am too busy." Your advice has helped me tremendously. Thank you
Your work is a whole ministry. Hope you're blessed, and thank you for sharing so freely. 🙏🙋
Its just who they are, but who they are ABSOLUTELY SUCKS!
I often got "why are you being so difficult?" followed by "keep it up and see what happens to you", "you owe me" and "you don't know me that well".
That’s disgusting, you need to leave
I never knew how bad my relationship is until I find out that I was dealing with narcissistic husband I was listening to this video and he told me that Dr. Ramani don’t know what she saying that she’s just a woman. I answer she’s a doctor and he told me you just listening because she’s a woman. That broke the glass on my mind to understand is never going to be better.
Yes! My husband said she's a "feminist" 😅
I am so sorry you met these narcissictic people, Dr. Ramani. And I am glad you got rid of them. Ever since watching YT videos on narcissism, I have been able to identify it, but also to weapon myself against these people. I feel so much stronger. Thank you for that.
That is a great way of putting it. You do have to WEAPONIZE yourself against them. It is like psychological self-defense.
@@goldilocks3593 it's hell 😭 when it's Ur own parents n family
Thank you for all info!!
Sorry you had to deal
with a narcissist .
These shows really help me keep strong boundaries with the narcissist in my life, who I don't have the luxury of leaving on the wayside. These shows are a service to humanity.❤
When dealing with narcissists, I won't say "I'm sorry you feel that way". Infact, I won't say "sorry" to them for ANYTHING, whether I am or not. I find saying "I'm sorry" to a narcissists dangerous because it is basic admittance, from the narcissist's perspective, that you admit you are wrong, agree you are wrong, vindicate the "victim" (read: narcissist), and that you are solely responsible for EVERYTHING (whether related to the topic at hand, or not), admit to and agree to the "fact" you're a "loser" and "always will be", and that you admit and agree you "deserve" any abuse the narcissist gives you, with no right or permission to object or defend yourself. That's what "I'm sorry" means to a narcissist. All they hear is that you're sorry. They don't care why.
When dealing with a narcissist, I will instead say "It is unfortunate that you feel that way." But this is ONLY when dealing with a narcissist. If the person is NOT a narcissist, I am quite open to apologizing for any mistakes and not just saying 'I'm sorry you feel that way" but actually give a PROPER apology. It's basic courtesy, honesty, and respect for the other person.
But narcissists are not entitled to ANYTHING. LEAST of all any basic courtesy, honesty, and/or respect because they're narcissists and spend their time hurting people and creating REAL victims because of their toxic abusive behaviour.
Thank you for this. I love the ‘it’s unfortunate you feel this way’ as an option to use for narcs. I got tired of over apologizing to an ex narc friend who constantly criticized bullied and blamed me for everything. Nothing I ever did was right or good enough for her. So I used the ‘Im sorry you feel this way’ to try to disengage from it without taking responsibility for something I didn’t do. I also thought Dr Ramani suggested saying that at some point to disengage with narcs who are always accusing you of things you didn’t do. But yes I love that suggestion of yours, so thank you 😊
When my narc mother recently wrote a letter saying she got a hip surgery (implicating she's desperate for help but never saying it loud) I would use the word "regrettable" but declined anything else. She has to eat from her own fruit now (Proverbs 1) and reap what she sowed.
Hmmmm... I like this response. I'm probably going to start using it. Thank you for sharing!
I’m not sorry but agree 100% with you :)
Yes exactly! Thank you for sharing
I'm sorry you experienced that unkind person. You've helped me more than you'll know.
I’ve dealt with at least 3 narcissists that I know of, all in workplace settings. It’s been a couple months since I’ve had to deal with the most recent one, but these videos still help me wrap my head around all the mind-f***ery that happened, even though some of the abuse occurred years ago. Thank you for the content!
Unfortunately it's become an epidemic
I never realized until recently looking back, why all the douchebag managers and annoying coworkers I had over the years were like that. Only now do I realize many were likely narcs.
Narcissists are NPCs
My mother is one of the most toxic narcissists in my life. Thank you Dr. Ramani for these videos, they provide me so much catharsis to manage her in my life.
Mine is too. She inspired me to never get married. 😊
I learned early on that I had to protect myself from my mother…
Years before I could ever verbalize that idea!!
A Narcistic person is Demon Possesed...My own brother was also a Narcist but when i prayed to Jesus to set him Free and i kept on Praying Persistently for days and Even Weeks he eventually got Set Free! Whoever the Son of God has Set free is Free and Free INDEED! 😄Believe in the Words of Jesus People every thing is possible with him that is Obedient to the words of Jesus Christ and pray's according to His will🙏💟Also sin will take us to Hell...
My total sympathy. And I thought my mother was the narcissist to end all narcissists. It's only now at 67 that I've realised how entirely her narcissism meant that I never lived my hopes nor fulfilled my potential. But I tell myself that the only way is onward. Still can't forgive or forget though 😢
I so hear you!!! My eyes opened at 65...what a bombshell revelation. Like my life had been hijacked.
Your channel is truelly helping me! A person like me that has Epilepsy and is dealing with a narcissistic partner is very very difficult the stress they cause isn't good for my health.
❤
Narcissist’s ate Victimized 24/7 so conveniently they pull out of that playing card from the 5:47 deck - their thinking is so inept or shallow
The apology one is a good one, I remember the narcissist say to me “I will apologize if you do “ but he never apologized he just wanted to hear me say it so I would take responsibility. What a sneaky tactic.
Glad you saw it.
Horrible gaslighting
@@M_SC absolutely, but it’s their way 👍
You actually got the opportunity to be the better person and come out cleaner because you apologized for anything that could have been held against you (even if you were in the right) and trained yourself to apologize, which is a very important skill with health relationships, which I hope you are now in and benefitting from. Good for you.
@@gilashroot8697 thank you for being supportive, I’m not sure that the situation at the time really required one. These types of people will do anything for supply it’s unbelievable 😖
I recently was experiencing real stress being around someone and couldn’t figure out why they were having that impact on me. I’m talking like high blood pressure and lack of sleep. Irritable almost immediately around them and constantly feeling like I had to walk on eggshells and “keep the peace” around this person. Watching these videos and learning about exactly what narcissists are helped me so much. I didn’t realize how toxic and dangerous it truly is to be connected to someone who is genuinely like this. Thankyou so much for sharing this info!
I can testify to the dangerously painful blood pressure spike to point of hyperventilation and anxiety attack as well as lack of sleep caused by one short conversation engagement literally ruining my physical health for the rest of day and the next. And made beyond irritable it was like catching a flu from someone except is was energetic poison . Actually felt ill . Important note this person was a stranger not even someone I know. But I do have experience and past with Navasota so I immediately recognized the manifestation
Now, i can say I was dealing with a narcissist person and none of it was my fault. Lol😂
I experienced those same health issues. I fault on high alert. She told me I didn't know how to handle my life and she goes with the flow. I told her I never had these health problems until I met her. We broke up, and long and behold...my physical health increased but my broken heart is still healing from the mess.
@@phoenixsky-ye7yxI can relate to your experience. One bad conversation and I was emotionally ill all day. My brain would shut down at work and I wouldn't fuction properly and forget alot things. I felt emotionally compromised. It was like being SICK without being sick. I knew the only way to survive was to walk away and save myself. I'm healing better but I miss the connection with her. 1 week after the break up she was dating someone new. My heart shattered from the lack of respect because she says I mistreated her, and expects her wants and needs to be fulfilled with someone new.😢
Oh my god , I have the same experience with my boyfriend, my blood pressure was raised often , I could not sleep at night and feel irritable all the time .I have realised he is narcissistic .
I am leaving him now I realise he is trying to destroy my life .
Thank you dr Ramani. ❤ Narcisists live to intimidate their victims and the feeling of unease and tension they are trying to create in the relationships serves their purpose to dominate and control. All the narcisists seek is power, control and dominance and it stems from their fear and insecurity.
It stems for their love of power
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@Emilio Yepez its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@peterwilliams6361advertising, eh
Thanks bots.
I also know narcissists who say, “But I didn’t do anything,” always in a whiny voice. Notice how they start this sentence with a “but” - always deflecting and playing the victim. I’m so glad you are now in a safe and sound place Dr. Ramani. ❤
Same story here,
Always Reply back with
Yea But..........
I now call them "YeaButts" it fits Soo appropriately
😂so true
My ex
" I didnt know ".....
this!!!
Dr Ramani i'm so sorry that you had to go through that horrific experience. I've been there and can relate. Kudos to you for having the strength and courage today to talk about it and share with others. It's important that others, who have had like experiences, know that someone out there can relate to them. Blessings.
"He does have to live as him, which is it's own form of curse."
Thank you Dr
You actually made my situation very clear to me . Now i know what happened to me.I feel like “now i see better” when everything was so ambiguous.Everything makes sense now
Thank you for also sharing your personal experiences. I appreciate it.
I understand the psychopathy of the threats of abusers.. how they enjoy threatening your life & scaring you. No one ought to live like that.
Unfortunately, I do. I literally look over my shoulder. Afraid to sleep alone in my home. I haven’t slept yet. It is 11: 02 AM.
@@CBELLA952 I understand. I am very sorry to hear that. I hope you have some very good supportive people in your life that may be you can stay at their place this weekend or the next few days so you can get a bit of rest.
I also hope you have taken multiple safety measures as allowing the authorities to know.
I know also how night terrors are also a symptom, so please be gentle and compassionate to yourself.
He always knew the ‘correct’ way to talk to others but never to me or the kids!
I remember once asking my husband if he was feeling better that morning since he hadn't felt well the day before. Imagine my shock and confusion when he blew up, asking me in a loud voice if I was saying that there was something wrong with him! He went on a lengthy tirade that made me wonder if he were losing his cognitive abilities. Everything began to make sense once I found these videos by Dr. Ramani. I'm so grateful for these!
I hope you are not with him anymore 😢
@@jubileej1629 no, I left in early December of last year.
They are demonic in meat 🥩 suits Just heal yourself We all have wasted decades with these Parasites 🦠
@Sim thank you so much! I love this community of loving support.
@Sim I really believe that he and his lover may have been planning to do away with me. His rage may have been caused by other strong emotions underneath the rage. God got me out safely!
Dr. Ramani you are a gem! I'm so glad I found you. Thank you so much for your calm intelligent and reasonable insight. Have a blessed day.
The NPD never has a sincere "we" in their conversation. Their participation in a relationship is about themselves, not about the "us".
I appreciate you sharing your experiences! I don’t feel so foolish and alone anymore. Keep up the good fight ❤I was really giving myself a hard time but now I see how many of us are in a similar situation
I had a Narc in my life that would take "Why are you doing this to me?" to the extreme. It was always "Why is the Universe doing this to me?!?!?" He tried to Hoover me after 16 years of separation and started the conversation by trauma dumping all over me (Didn't bother to ask what I'd been up to or going through in the past 16 years) And after telling me of all his woes, still threw in "I guess the Universe is punishing me for all the people I've hurt..." I was so beyond over him at that point that it took everything I had not to blurt out "You are such an insignificant speck in the grand scheme of the Universe. The shit that happened to you is shit that happens to everyone in life! Get over yourself!" But I was doing my best to engage as little as possible. And the Hoovering did not work!
my narc checks 4.5 out of the 6 phrases. (#5 is more verbal threats over time, leaving me thinking that he'll ruin me if i try to leave). finding your videos is a godsend, especially because you dont villianize people who may still be in these relationships, and offer coping strategies. it's not always as easy as DTMFA. i consider(ed) myself a smart woman, but I question myself every day now because of years of this type of talk. you are providing a great service!
Wow! This was so informative. My sibling did not used to be narcissistic but in their mid fifties has now changed into a totally angry bully. She wants to dominate and control everything. This is so much unlike her earlier self that I hardly recognize her.
What happened to her 😢
@@mammadingo9165 she became burnt out from being overworked and taken advantage by some family members. She had two fine examples of narcissism in her life with our mother and sister, so took up the game.
She must be bitter about something. Maybe her life didn't go as planned and getting older. Who knows?
Yes-they love to be in the center of attention in a conversation! And yours no.5 point -they love to show in a fearful way how great they are!
Literally just going through a conversation that could not be interpreted correctly with true intentions (could not understand the sincerity of my statement) just a 45 minute period ago, so I got up to walk around outside as the other one took a phone call, and I played this one video... And is very informative and I am taking notes to better heal and understand why the other one could possibly not understand this... I have researched NPD videos on TH-cam and today I have strengthened tools in conversation with other one.
Bottom line, thank you for your video... Blessings Kristopher
Outstanding it sounds like the leadership of our country on almost every level. Not just politically but the general direction as well.
These videos have been very enlightening,an essential education. I actually understand the people that have baffled me for the last decade. Only now I feel depressed from all the "awareness"...
This is very helpful. It really hit home with me growing up with an older sister who is a narcissist. Took me a long time to learn how to deal with it all.
Got a letter from my mother-in-law. My best friend summed it up, to basically she was saying, ‘don’t you see how your marriage falling apart is affecting me’.
A woman admits to me that she did not want her son divorced because she would then have to deal with him. I believe this is pretty common, I hope not.
Recently my mother in law texted me saying, I'm probably the last person you want to talk too but I'm hear for you if you need to talk" I text back Thank you but why was she saying that? Her reply was that she spoke to her son ( my husband) and he didn't know where I was and that I was mad at him. He knew exactly where I was, I was at work! I told his mom that I was mad at the fact that I was at work and he decided to get drunk when he was supposed to watch the kids 10,13,14. And I didn't think it was right for him to be drinking when he was suppose to be the responsible adult at home and that I was tired of it. Her reply was well, looks like you made your decision since you're tired of his drinking and she was sad it's come down to this and that my family was hurting because I was working more hours. Her son idoes not have a job...WTF!!! Really??? I need to pay bills and care go my kids and she saw nothing wrong with him getting drunk while I was working a 2nd job. So, I'm the problem WTF???
I have one of those mil. Tell her ef off
Enablers 😢
I ultimately am “master manipulator” (for standing my ground) and I got kicked out of that cult - and frankly- proud of it!
Dr. Ramani, thanks for always speaking truth and honesty. That is hard to come by these days. You are truly a blessing to millions.
Your new videos always seem to pop up when I am in a situation with my ex who is a narcissist. Thank you for always giving the right advice on how to rid oneself of the damage that the narcissist always seem to give.
1. "I don't want to make this about me, but ..."
2. "I am sorry that you feel this way."
3. "Why are you doing this to me?"
4. "I just don't have time for this."
5. "Do you even know who you're messing with?"
6. "It's not fair."
I heard everyone of those
I have heard about these from them, they are very manipulative
" I am an adult "..."this is ridiculous"...." I would never do XYZ "...." I would never cheat on you with him, he is gross".
I knew you have experienced the narcissistic person in it's many forms. You get it! That in itself makes me feel so good, mostly understood.
Thank you
Thank You!... For your time in making sense, dotting the eyes, helping people to make an understanding of Norci. The person I know things, growing up with a Parent Norci. was HELL enough but it prepared me in life.
„I am sorry that it made you feel you need a break …“
Now I understand what was so irritating about this apology. It was none! I felt so bad when he said that and I could not figure out what’s so wrong about his apology.
Your videos helped me permanently no contact. My happiness I've felt these last 2 weeks has been so refreshing. Thank you
Oh yes. "Why are you doing this to me?" Still an improvement over perpetual angry screaming, but exhausting in its own way. I remember that with Mother going to the grocery store or just out for a drink (Diet Pepsi, never alcohol) was always seen as open treason unless it was on her orders. I was in my thirties.
omg, it hurts to hear your personal experiences with narcissists, but being a survivor myself, I find it extraordinarily courageous that you shared it on a public forum...and you did it with such grey rock emotion 😁 please keep being you forever. lots of us get a lot from it.
God forbid you try to have a conversation about boundaries. They'll blow up the conversation and tell you to stop talking about yourself.
Wow. You got that far with them?? The conversation usually gets deflected into sexual comments within the first 60 seconds to avoid any accountability. The seriousness of talking about issues makes her uncomfortable.
Thank you Dr Ramani, I have listened to many of your videos. I have been married to a Narcissist for 21 years and am only learning to cope now.
One thing I have never heard you mention is a Narcissist being a Hypochondriac. I had cancer at some point and HE was definitely in worse shape than me!!! He was constantly telling me about every ailment imaginable that he was suffering from. Grrrrrr I wish I could leave.
I have a highly narcissistic cousin who didn’t converse, he took the pulpit with every “conversation.” My then therapist advised, on any future interaction, to just jump in with something I wanted to say rather than just let him run on and on. So, one night I tried this. I interjected a thought of my own into his nonstop monologue. His reaction astounded me. He just looked at me and asked, point-blank, “Are we going to talk about YOU or ME? “
😂😂😂!!!
Wow!
Self-centeredness to the highest degree. And remember there is healthy self-centered behavior, healthy pride, healthy assertiveness, a healthy personal agenda. We all do these things as we are the focal point of our own life, obviously. But the narcissist takes this to a whole new level and makes nearly every aspect of it as toxic to others as possible.
@@preparedsurvivalist2245 What was so astounding was how angry he was. It was like ,”How dare you.” I was invited into his company for the sole purpose of listening to him and, hopefully, with his every utterance, going, “Wow.”
😂
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I hope more people will see this.
Oh the stories I could add. When my therapist finally placed it on the table the cruelty I was put in in bio family growing up / and knew no different - mind blowing .since I’ve studied more ( and thank you Dr. Ramani ) , I take notes and in margins list the narcissists - I’ve had to deal with / some horrible and some just ridiculously self absorbed .
I am wary and also take self protections . Now I can stay clear .
I also Dr. Ramani , saved emails and texts to show lawyer in case of need of order of protection . All the while, even though my family - there were times I should have called the police . In the 50s and 60s , we didn’t talk family with friends. I was alone .
Now, free and clear , don’t speak with work narcissists because I don’t have to , don’t speak with siblings because I’ve gone no contact , see narcissists and ego maniacs in my husbands family ….. I am slowly healing . Thank you for your part in this journey .
Thanks!
Sometimes they can be dangerous. My cousin pushed me down the cement stairs going to the basement from the hallway of the house. I was two and one half and sitting in a stroller. Her mother was taking care of me while my mother was at work. My cousin was jealous that my mother adopted me and the family paid attention to me and played with me. Her meanest didn’t stop but she pretended to be nice to draw me in. Thank goodness she is living in another state.
Sometimes ?? True Narcissists are extremely Dangerous. I had a parent and sibling. A parent who never loved me. I needed my mom. I thought it was me. In my 50’s I knew the truth. It was beyond excruciating. You never heal from the horror. A sibling who should be stopped for their criminal acts of cruelty against you. I am so fearful of this sibling. I have no one to protect me from him. People don’t understand the Narcissists enjoy inflicting physical pain and psychological torture. Not everyone can protect themselves. And especially when one has disabilities. Society tends to look the other way when we are adults and terribly afraid. I cannot tell my situation on this board due to the sensitive horror. No one would believe the terror, feeling helpless, so much sadness. We are grown ups. We’re supposed to be able to handle these serious issues. Many Narcissists are relentless. They will not let you go until they have destroyed you ! It’s a horror movie. I have had 3 individuals in my life who were Narcissists. I no longer exist. They have ruined me in every sense of the word. It has plagued my soul with such fear.
@@CBELLA952 please talk to a professional or even your priest who has training. It is never too late. God bless you dear. I had parents that were not perfect but they loved me so much and I went to a Roman Catholic school and became close to God. That helps. I blamed myself for years. I thought I was lacking. My cousin made me believe that. I loved her. I had no brothers or sisters. I was the youngest in the family and she should of watched out for me. She told me I was not wanted by my birth parents. Long story. But six years ago I found my birth sister, brother, cousin and uncle. They are wonderful. She is jealous. She barely talks to any of the family anymore. She is living in another state.
I. Think one of the things I like best about you is that not only are you a qualified professional, you speak from very real experience.
I'd like to see a video on what I call narcissistic rebound. I consider myself a recovering codependent. I've noticed narcissistic traits in myself that I know are an over-correction for my previous lack of boundaries. I'm curious to know if others have seen this in themselves. My hypothesis is that this may explain why we see narcissistic traits in ourselves as we start to come out of codependency.
Yeah I also found many almost all of the signs of a narcissistic personality disorder...I want to change ..and I m afraid how bad it is to be a narcissist ..I don't wanna ruin others life . I don't know what I should do?
I've noticed this too, I think it is over-compensation. As we get away from the offender we make DOUBLE SURE nobody does it to us again. As time passes I get a more even keel and the traits settle down.
Remember the intention behind it. A codependent healing isn't being narcissistic. A true narc's intentions are selfish, manipulative, coercive, unstable, stagnant, doesn't want growth. A healing codependent's intentions are for growth, change, boundary setting, and betterment of the self and relationships.
Overcompensating makes sense bc u are "trying on" different ways of setting boundaries, letting go of toxicity, and gaining ur sense of self back. You may swing in many directions until u find a place that feels centered and like "you" once again
🤗 ♥
Codependency is a form of narcissism so you will have traits!
@@TheTreeOctopus how is it a form of narcissism?
Thanks to this lady who is helping people before it is too late.
They may also say, "I am sorry I can't meet your needs or give you what you need in a healthy relationship." Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani, I agree with all those❤️
That sounds like a narcissist who has been to therapy and mined the experience for useful phrases. (Also sounds exactly like my ex...)
They say IF I DID THAT, never admit they do anything wrong.
Are you sure this isn’t just someone trying to break up with you? 😬
When they say this 🏃
@@genevalawrence801 Yes💙
They only apologize when there is something in for them
I love you and your sarcasm ❤ You are the best!
Dr R, your personal anecdotes and professional information are very helpful. I take your words as wake-up calls. Thank you!
7 years spent with a narcissist. About 3 years after I ran, I'm still trying to make sure I made the right move. Your videos are clearing up a lot of stuff. Thank you.
look forward not back!!🎉
Run for your life from a narcissist because they never change.
Yes never change ,no no.
Yes, you are right. They will never change, except maybe to get worse!
I am Autistic and ADHD and learned a lot of these from my mother. Thank you for teaching me better!
You have perfectly described my Boss. Thank you for your video, I thought I was going crazy thinking it was my fault.
Yes, their statements and actions can even say, “I don’t care about law. I’ll do whatever I want and I’m coming after you.”
Thank you, Dr. Well said that it does not restore fairness, but brings clarity, which at least levels the playing field in terms of emotional regulation and ability to face the emotional abuse. Thank you for the practical ways to address these. Thank you for sharing your stories because it helps that even you went through these things. I am deeply sorry that you went through them and as grateful that you are sharing and helping me. Thank you for clarifying a pattern I could not articulate. Thank you for continually posting and reminding me that what I went through and am still going through is real and to be documented so I never forget or doubt it. I hope you have either completely cleared up as much as possible or are getting to that point the current suffering you are going through. I am so sorry you have to face it, but thank you for being brave enough to expose it and deal with it. This, walking your talk, makes you a role model and hero.
Glad you got out of that situation and are helping others recognise the signs before its too late ❤
Dr Ramani, you have helped me more than I can put into words. Everything you say resonates with my (now ex) relationship and the ways you've suggested to respond made so much difference.
The 'too me', the 'why now', 'I didn't need that now' etc etc
I'm a witness this entire video is🎯🎯 Thank you💕
Thank you so much for all the help and wisdom you provide with everything you do. You are, by far, the most insightful, helpful person I have ever "come across" anywhere. Your hard work and expertise has helped me to rationalize and understand that the narcissists throughtout my life have tried to make me think I'm crazy because their personalities depend on it just as much as humans depend on water. Thank you, thank you!
Narcissist = everyone else but not me
"I'm sorry you feel that way" makes me want to cry... It can be so cruel.
Dr. Ramani, good morning, when our daughter's first child, and our first grand baby was a baby girl, one day I said "I think E is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen", her response was, what about me, wasn't I a beautiful baby?" I couldn't believe what she was saying about her own baby to her own mother. That was twenty-five yrs. ago. Thank you Dr. Ramani
😮 seem like they're always in competition, even with their own children.
@@sharonjumba4648 ESPECIALLY their own children.
I’m so sorry how they treated you. This is not what love is. I’m glad you left them. You deserve to be happy and loved. Please be safe and healthy. Thank you for the video.
My narcissistic Auntie and her enablers have been trying to reach out to me asking me what they’ve done to me after years of disrespect and pushing me around, asides me explaining to my cousin how disrespectful they’ve been, I can’t seem to explain myself to the rest because I know they won’t understand.
But she does understand. And wants you to frustrate yourself trying to explain to people who are in on it with her
Had a mean & miserable relative 'uncle' who verbally & emotionally abused me ( & his enabling family) and when around 24 yrs I asked him to leave our home after he had raged at me in front of my tired working mom one evening, he started a smear-campaign!! But I never ever met him again. He tried to interfere in my life behind my back in many ways, but I simply ignored him & his enablers/flying monkeys.
They know what they did. Teach them to stay away or else.
Oh I have a narc auntie. If you met her at first you would think she was as sweet as pie. She is the devil. I am full no contact 10 yrs now. Life is good.
I'm glad you made this list. I had a situation at school with another parent and this person did tell me "You don't know who you're messing with."
I asked my narc sister "Why do you abuse me like this?" and her reply sealed why I went no contact. She said, "Because of the way you react." That is classic narcissism.
On Facebook, she said, "I'm usually nice to people, but I can be a B.... if I need to be."
She also conducted a smear campaign against me on Facebook, telling all about the fact that I had been in therapy and was taking "mood altering" medications, as if thats a bad thing. Narcissist are worse than police. Everything you say and do will definitely be used against you. The minute you know a person is a narcissist, do not tell the narcissist or their flying monkeys anything about yourself.
Beware of information gatherers…until you know they aren’t or are not in collusion with a narcissist.
Love the flying monkeys bit (wizard of OZ)
My ex would always say he loved my reactions whenever he crossed boundaries... shit 😢
@@user-tq7uv9rs1e When they are more interested in your reaction than how they hurt you, that is manipulation and classic narcissism.
My brothers line is he is an asshole. But the sweetest guy you will ever meet. I have yet to meet the sweet guy.
I hope your all good, you helped me a lot, I occasionally still watch even though you helped me feel my way through
Great advice, my experience is that Narcissistic people are un happy miserable people, why we want to be friend with them, to begin with, however when is come to close family, I just see them a little as possible, when I see them I keep a short conversation and move on to the next person, as I did recently in a dinner that I was invited when I asked to remove the Narcissistic person that was sitting beside me to the other side of the table and I haver a great time, learning to protect myself. 😊👍👍👍
Thank you for saying that right away, about not being a narcissist JUST because you've said a phrase, that it is so much more than that, like the lack of empathy and grandiose behavior. My husband has me so messed up that I feel guilty for how HE treats me. Ive always been told that I'm more of an empath, and that I need to be careful with that. I care too much, which is something he definitely found attractive. He twists reality so much that I start to question if Im the problem, even though he has realized and admitted that he is in fact a narcissist. Thanks for the reminder. Im sure many others needed to hear it too.