WHY BLACK MEN Don't Want Marriage @HardlyInitiated
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 พ.ย. 2023
- Welcome to Season 2 of The Single Season with Alison Wellington! Alison is the dating coach you've been dreaming of, even if you didn't know you needed her! She's on a mission to help as many women as possible navigate dating that leads to healthy marriage! In this episode, she's has the fellas from @HardlyInitiated in the studio to find out how men really feel about marriage in this modern day.
- บันเทิง
Coffee is the PERFECT first date. If your intentions are to get to know this person then why should he have to break the bank to do that.
It's only perfect if the person likes and drinks coffee or hot drinks.
I've been to multiple coffee dates, from Starbucks to cute indie coffee shops. They all serve a variety of drinks, including cold stuff. I actually usually get orange juice and dessert.
Agreed!!!! And you have less distractions and interruptions. It’s an absolutely perfect first day. Even if you don’t drink coffee there are other things to drink and small snacks.
@@kayannthegreat Again there are only certain (very specific) things at a coffee shop.
@@filmadcamp1512 And that's fine. Everywhere has specific things unless you want to go to a supermarket.
Being married for an extended period of time should not be a reason to expect to be cheated on. Two adults made a commitment so if xyz happens and the guy or woman wants to leave then so be it some things are non negotiables and most things can be worked through
This proves my point, that many blk men expect BW to put up with years of infidelity or verbal, emotional, physical and financial abuse because decades ago, a woman didn't have the means to leave. BW are supposed to just deal with it. That's a very troubling mindset that most BW are not willing to exist in anymore.
They sound crazy! She said she will stay married unless he beats me or cheats…. Uh as she should! These men have lost it.
No black man expects that from any women.
@mizzmolly you are correct nope we ain’t having it and if they think they gonna get a doormat they foolin themselves…on other podcasts they said they looking for younger women who they can mold….BM won’t get respect because they are known for cheating and putting non Blk women on pedestals. We have put up with too much and we not listening to lies….that’s why many are not having children and staying single
Nobody said that. Also most guys aren't beating women or even cheating. I know plenty of men that never did either. You think everyone is doing the same things?
@@taahiramcgee This has nothing to do with your personal experience. This has to do with statistics. If I went by my personal experience then I would think that most blk men have degrees, earn six figures and are married and in the home, raising children with their blk wives.
The stats show that 33%of BM have a felony on their record. More than 60% of blk girls are s3xually abused before they're 18. Who do you think is assaulting them? BW are deleted at the rate of 6 per day. A study by the Institute for Family Studies found that blk people have a higher rate of infidelity, compared to whytes and Hispanics, and that men have a much higher rate of infidelity than women.
You tell me why more than 96% of whyte women who are raising children by BM are doing so alone, and that BW married to WM have the highest marriage success rate out of any other racial/ethnic combination?
Coffee date is a placeholder for any basic date that allows two people to see how they connect and vibe. It doesn't literally have to be coffee
I agree on the sex, the sex is what's causing the distraction from both partners from seeing the red flags and really getting to know the individuals. Keeping the sex off the table in the beginning of dating, you get to open your eyes on whether or not the person is actually the one for you or not. Your emotions are not involve and no one walks away with a broken heart. Great job guys.
He is right about getting to know the person not the atmosphere and food❤
The analogy of the last 1500 in a business partnership really didn’t draw an accurate comparison. A more accurate comparison would have been - would you stay in a business partnership if you found out your business partner was stealing from the business?
Or in bed with and selling secrets to a rival business.
I do not know your name, but I love the pushbacks and clarity you were able to articulate during this interview. Btw, I also love Tyshawn and Ryan. Much needed conversation
I am a woman and I agreed with much of what the men were saying. The example with the coffee date. What is wrong with getting to know someone at coffee? I never expected a man to spend $100's on me without knowing me. I think some women tend to overthink these things and assume the man is trying to be cheap. Expectations these days are crazy! Nobody wants an everyday nice genuine brother who makes under 75k, everything has to be over 100k. I watch other shows and I have seen soo many changes and craziness with the dating scene.
Coffee dates are the best. 😊 agree everything you say
You have low standards. When bm get low bw like you get lower. It’s sad and pathetic 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏼♀️
Most black women are not marrying men who make over $100,000 so I don't know where y'all are getting this from. Many black women are going 50-50 or are the breadwinners. So the least they can get is a date with something they like. The bar is already in Hades as it is.
The host is full of herself. She already had preconceived views and was keen to get them out. How on earth can she advice women to reject coffee dates because she sees it as cheap when the whole point is about getting to know the person at a foundation level. Her energy is completely off and woe betides any woman who listens to her. She wasn’t digesting anything her guests were saying.
Yes this new generation is creating the problems in the dating scene by worrying about EVERYTHING except actually really wanting to get to know the person. They're looking for what they can get instead of the company. There's the problem.
Great discussion.The young lady interviewing was not afraid to ask tough and thought provoking questions & the guys responded with valuable answers.
Yall have to remember these two males have very little interest in marriage and PARTNERSHIP. Personally, if a man doesn't know if he wants marriage by 30 (These men are 30 and 35) just forget it!
They are giving advice based on being serial daters and using women for sex. They both have spoken about NOT dating intentionally; however, they MIGHT be changing now? I'm not sure if their "growth" is genuine just yet....just to provide context to some of you.
Edit: they haven’t changed or evolved one bit in their ideals….it seemed like the even doubled down on the “malleable” comment they went viral for on the other interview on this channel. They still don’t understand why it was a problematic thing to say, and blamed it on single parent homes as to why people think it was a problem 🥴
Its nice to see you both on the other side of the mic! The biggest hang up in the community as a whole is lack of communication, picking the wrong partner and constantly being focused on what other cultures are gaining while this culture is loosing out. Politics has become a polarized wall in conversation, understanding position in the modern world. Divorce is just a symptom to bigger issues!
BTW she came with fire cause her first question out the door was, " why are women being blamed for simply filling paperwork " 😂. Great conversation ❤ She need to bring this fire to the HI family 👀💓💓
They are not being blamed, they are the reason. They get bored and jump ship.
@@jimmiejones6192 I see why you will remain single. 😂
This coffee thing is probably the reason why many people are single. The first date is just a hi hello, do I like how you look, how you smile and am I comfortable around you. You don't have to like coffee. You can drink water, soda, hot chocolate or milk if you must.
The problem is they keep allowing social media to tell them what kinds of dates to go on instead of dating based on their communication prior to the date ...
The problem is bw like yourselves have super low standards and will bust it open for a ni99@ for a plate of Chinese food and a blunt.
The host typifies everything wrong with some women today. She wants to dictate the terms of dating and doesn’t care what men want.
@@ellenburke3698 Women control access to sex, men control access to marriage. Men are getting access to sex but women are not getting access to marriage at the same rate. Men have always been willing to adapt but too many women think they should be taken as they come and men should bend to their requirements. End result is an oversupply of cat ladies consigned to perpetual singledom.
Exactly!!👍
This is my first time being introduced to any of these people. I didn’t know what to expect, but I enjoyed this conversation. I’m fine with a cheap first date, I’d just rather go on a walk in the park or have a picnic than go to a coffee shop.
Yo, the fellas held it down in this interview. Salute. 🫡
Hmmmm it's funny we brought up the Proverbs 31 woman, we always skip past the fact that her husband acknowledged her work affirmed her her children call her blessed so does her husband. So when men say we don't care about your accomplishments are you not belittling her will you be able to acknowledge her in marriage
People always use the bible to their own advantage and take things out of context smh and it's mostly men who do this
Stop, a women being the CEO of Tesla before you meet her, isn’t the same thing as seeing your wife work her way up to CEO of Tesla while In The marriage are to different things.
@@hipsterboiwavy2723 what exactly is your point?
Great questions & I appreciated the responses from Ty and Ryan great points made.
Ima just keep being myself. No big dates until we talked on the phone for hr or more before we even realize we should see each other.
We got to vet people before we meet up. 1st date is non expensive way to get to know if we match in person not just on the phone.
If she doesn't like me then good. Thats what 1st dates are for. It always works. Be yourself and dont try harder to be more.
As someone who has dated a lot of women . One thing I have learned is that if you find a woman that truly loves you and is into you , you will not ever have to worry about her leaving .
unless that love dissipates which can happen. Familiarity breeds contempt.
@@malimal4972Love is a verb not a noun. It requires actions
Ok…that last bit of abstinence advice from Ryan was spot on!! THAT I absolutely agree with!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
This was an amazing interview 👏🏿 🙌🏿
10:10 - this is key. He said what many people think. “Riding with you regardless” can be troublesome depending on the circumstances. People have to determine what their threshold is for that.
Yep. Romance & marriage are not supposed to be unconditional.
What about not cheating as an option so that the women don't have to exercise or act on their non negotiables? Just a thought, I enjoyed this conversation 😊
This. I'm so tired of hearing men/women treating breaking the covenant so lightly then leaving it to the other party to be the one to "fight for the marriage." This is a grown child mentality...😮
That’s too much logic for the grown babies!! 😂😂😂😂
How many of the 80% divorce filed by woman are because of infidelity? Woman cheat just as much of men so you can stop that nonsense.
This is projection. Women cheat more than men, and infidelity is usually not the reason they file. Women divorce women at a much higher rate than they divorce men.
Because the chances of us cheating are just as high as them cheating so it cancels itself out.
It’s a bridge you cross IF you get there. It’s not something you ruin things for in anticipation
She hit it on the nose 👃🏾 men are not vetting enough before the date. I hate the smell of coffee shops so I would have to redirect. Also 1st dates dont have to be food related or just one destination
If you try to dictate and redirect, most men will automatically disqualify you for commitment. While continuing to pursue you for fun and secks
@@treywhite9611 I have never been asked on a coffee date- they are interested in where I want to go. So the fact that men are not asking about a woman preference is a red flag in itself. A man who vetted me well would already know my destain for coffee and other dislikes through conversation.
@@alwaysaccurate8725then y can't u speak up about it instead of making him b a mind reader
@@alwaysaccurate8725--- it's disdain.
@@alwaysaccurate8725
"They are interested".....Are you with any of them?
There isn't always "work" to put in. If two people like each other they do, if they don't they don't. Men who take offense to accretive communication from women are often men who are less accretive communicators than they dream of being, less confident, and passive aggressive. Those men often offend themselves and often live in denial about it.
Black men don't want marriage until they need marriage-older and needing a nurse.
Whats wrong with that?
Facts
@@TheChadShow9it’s extremely selfish… no one wants you when you’re deteriorating
Check the stats and facts before regurgitating nonsense. BM marriage rates are higher then BW
This explain it all
I am a black woman and I am 100% with Ryan's idea of first dates : a coffee or a walk for several reasons. I can't lose time in a walk because I like my daily 10 000 steps. Second, men prefer a woman who is a saver than a spender, and a low cost date sends that message. To look for a man who is a provider is also to work to lower the financial pressure on him. Moreover, in a walk, there is less noise, less people. So the atmosphere is opened for deep and sincere conversations, and to assess emotional compatibility. It also makes it casual and lower the pressure on both sides and allow vulnerability to have a room. When we don't do that, we end up with insecure people or emotionally unavailable partners, which is the first hidden root cause of breakups and divorces. All dating coaches who are men say a man who gives you his time values you. Going for a walk is valuing a woman. Having a coffee is valuing a woman. A coffee is also great because it diminishes distractions: we are here to talk, to get to know each other, not to eat which brings more distractions (is this meal good? And people coming to ask if everything is ok). A woman who goes on a date that is low cost is also sending this message: I am not here for your money, or what you do. I am here for you, who you are and where you are going. In all my dates, I've always bet on my money and because coffees or restaurants are not where I express my values, even when I am invited, no man has never spent more than 10 dollars on dates. I'd rather have a man who spends more money on things that last, than a restaurant.
I listen to Hardly Initiated and have witnessed all of the growth from both Tysean & Ryan…and this conversation really tested every bit of their growth😂🙌🏾 her rebuttals are very much what the girls are giving today, and always with extra explanations.
I've never seen these 2 Brothas before, but I see why women can digest what they're saying.
They are nonaggressive & politically correct.
I love Ryan response to the coffee ☕️ date.
Great point Alison ! Noone talks to why these women are filing !
Actually they do. I hear women talked about it all the time. It’s starts with He didn’t. But I never hear what they did wrong. I heard a therapist explain it best when she researched the high lesbian divorce rate. Women want things a certain way and no one can deliver.
@@sherwoodwalker573 that just means they more readily agreed to going thru the divorce vs prolonging it
@@Heyu7her3 Yes but let’s agree not everyone had a legitimate reason. Man or woman. If you think every woman’s reasons are legit I got some land in Zamunda I would love to get you for free.
Awesome interview!
Ladies just go on the coffee date. Try not to give too much lip and smile.. Just let the men have that for the first date if thats what he wants.. If he tries that on the second date then say something then.. Let him lead you and be a man first.. If you dont like the direction he is taking you talk to him after the date and express your concerns then.
You go.
Bottom line is a man has to feel like you like him, respect him, have chemistry with you, and you enjoy his company before he takes you anywhere special.....And that's the ladies job to solidify that and demonstrate that to him
This is why the dating market is so screwed up .... NEVER in human history have we had this many single women and men on the dating market......Dating is supposed to be reserved for your wife or girlfriend not some random woman
@@cyes1156 The lady does not have any jobs in dating. She doesn't need to solidify shit to anyone she doesn't know. It's a man's job to pursue and to solidify HIS PLACE in a woman's life. Men have always had to prove their ability to provide and protect and to lead. THIS is why the dating market is screwed. Because now men want to be pursued and want to do the bare minimum. And they are upset that the women they actually want are not chasing them as much as women used to do back in the day. You can reserve dating for your wife and girlfriend. Good luck in getting a girl to be your girlfriend without trying to court her though.🙃🙃
@@filmadcamp1512
Women control access to sex.....Men control access to commitment, relationships and marriage....... Especially the type of men YOU want ......Once a man is established and successful without YOU, we pick who the hell we want from the dating market....The only power you have in the dating phase is hookups .....Men of value control all the rest
@@cyes1156 "Women control access to sex and men control access to commitment, relationships and marriage".
The above is something y'all so as to NOT be accountable for ANYTHING regarding your self control - especially bringing children into the world. To suggest that women control access to sex is to negate the high level of women being raped, and girls/teenagers being molested and sexually assaulted by grown men. Saying men control access to commitment and marriage is to make yourselves feel important. Sir if you can't get a woman to want to stay in a marriage with you, then you are a FAILURE. What you need to control access to is your p*nis and stop trying to sling it all over.
And here's the kicker - most of y'all are NOT established and successful. Many of y'all need women (wives) to help y'all with that. So that's a moot point. And the ones who are successful - get married and the women still leave and take their alimony and child support and move on to the next when they grow tired of being cheated on and mistreated.
Enjoyed this! Everything was respectful and well-stated.
This was very informative. Love the gentlemen of Hardly initiated
Thank you Mrs. Alison‼️👏🏾🤌🏾🗣️🤎🔥
Men say this is my only marriage and I’m committed to staying yet they’re more likely not willing to do the work it takes to have a great, healthy marriage. More women want to grow and men want the marriage to stay the same for 20 years.
If you want to grow stay single. Marriage is about family, sacrifice and duty. 100years ago, your grandparents understood this.
@@dre22100 years ago financial institutions could legally refuse loans to unmarried women and oftentimes required them to have a male cosigner. 100 years ago women couldn’t apply for their own credit card or open a bank account without a man by their side. So the success of our grandparents’ relationships truly is the fact that women needed to rely on men more for survival. Societal expectations as well. The relationships our grandparents’ had isn’t something to idolize
@@colleenr3358yes people grow & have to work hard to not grow apart.
@@colleenr3358 Men and women grow differently. You can’t expect to grow at the same rate as your man especially if he’s the main provider. A man at 50 is different from a woman at 50 will have a higher standing in the dating place. Come to acceptance of this reality. Men age like fine wine, women age like milk.
@@stephanieb5566 Yet you still want a man who earns more than you and to provide for you. Women are still seeking to rely on men for provisioning in relationships despite their economic freedom. Women have always worked.
You are a gift from Heaven. Every single thing you said is so spot on
When you choose the person you want to be with or marry, both parties are settling, so settling is not a bad thing. That's what you are suppose to do with your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse, settle.
You would not settle with a woman you are not attracted to.
Beautiful conversation
I appreciate this content. I appreciate the honesty!
I stumbled into this channel, good perspective! From my experience, Men spend years and endless hours developing themselves to even get a coffee date. I recognized girls don't realize this but Woman do which affects the emd results. Keep up the good work I subscribed.
You must not have experienced much. Men have been terrible at positive self-development... that's why they're in crises.
Great questions and responses.
Nice mindful conversation. Folks. Always grateful 😊
What a fantastic conversation by these three fine young people ❤❤
One man kept referring to “women taking instruction.” In a partnership you women don’t take instruction, partnerships are collaboration and sharing. A man providing instruction is as though he’s the teacher and the woman is a student is in some ways he’s dominant and the woman is the subordinate. Word choice is everything.
It’s interesting that these guys don’t want women to set a boundary when stating they will leave if cheated on but men can set the expectation that they could possibly cheat but don’t want their women to leave because that’s not loyal…Some dudes just shouldn’t get married. I do agree that single people should not lead with their jobs/careers when dating and I also agree with the idea that the west does not prioritize families.
You misunderstood him. He said that boundaries and standards are fine and expected but it's the mindset of being partially committed and having one foot out the door while entering into a lifelong marriage if things get rocky that is the wrong mindset. Also, this notion that only men cheat in marriages needs to cease.
@@syrus8431She didn't misunderstand...both interpretations are valid, but I read a bit further into it..He didn't like the fact that women can exercise her RIGHT to even have divorce as an option!
@@Yna-u3gThe number 1 reason for divorce is finances and 90% of alimony is paid from men to women. Most women know this and leverage it. This is one of the major reasons why men are walking away from marriage. Financially it makes no sense and most marriages end in divorce one way or the other.
@@Yna-u3gyour answer shows you didn’t look further into nothing, bt it’s okay all opinions are welcomed.
@@hipsterboiwavy2723 Your response shows you completely lack comprehension...
I feel that Ty and Ryan did absolutely great with this interview. They did not judge any of the questions that they were asked and they asked them with professionalism. I will always be a fan of their Channel. HI is a five star podcast💪🏽🙌🏽❤️
I like Hardly Initiated but they definitely tip toed, hemmed and hawed around every question they were asked and every response they gave.
@filmadcamp1512 It seems like they were being more coy because the interviewer seemed ready to pounce. Everything they had to say she had a rebuttal.. if you notice on their podcast whether they agree/disagree with their guest they still allow them to flow and express themselves without inserting their personal objections.
@@OneSweetDay489 Yes she had to have a rebuttal because a lot of what they were saying was not accurate. She actually took it very easy on them.
Actually on their podcast they will ask a question and when their guests answer, if they disagree with the guest, they will ask the question a different way to get the answer they want. The fact that Tysean still feels like women are giving up on marriages easily and that's where the issue is, despite having multiple male and female guests give him information to the contrary, spoke volumes. It means he is still stuck in what he thinks and feels, and is not fully listening to counsel.
They were not equipped to handle this conversation. Too young and lack life experience. They couldn’t even counter her simple point about divorce and why women file. The answer is in the top 3 reasons why divorce happens- Finance, difference in sexual libido, infidelity. Then you go from there
@@dre22 You don't know what you're talking about. What percentage of divorces are being filed for "Difference in Sexual Libido". Finances is definitely at the top and Infidelity but those things are often compounded by other things like not helping out around the house, nitpicking, emotional abuse, depression, etc.
Physique is apart of attraction as well. She’s right about getting to know the person first but you need to know what you’re signing up for and testing the chemistry is important too.
There is no such thing as too much money in a black household.
exactly
Divorce is even an option in the Bible for infidelity and abuse. Agree on the dating piece from the guest perspective.
It is about the dollar commitment. If guys are haggling over 50-100 dollars then can you honestly be a provider? When you apply for a job would you take the offer of minimum wage from the employer to start or would you expect to get market reference value?
And this is why y’all thots will stay single… you women are not entitled to a man’s money.
So good. Great points on both sides.
Well said! 💯 A coffee date can be the catalyst to another event or a prolonged conversation and I’m all about the coffee vibe. I think anyone worried about the drink is missing the point. And if a guy is dating multiple women and takes me to a coffee date that could also be apart of the conversation because I’m probably dating multiple men. I’m a magnet to a Boss.
At least she was actively listening💯
😢 This was excellent!!!!
The coffee date conversation cracks me up… if we don’t flow enough that I don’t mind.. we just not jamming
Agreed, you should definitely not go into a marriage already thinking about divorce, you should be all in, which means you took vows to remain faithful & loving so no abuse, no cheating, no side chicks etc. Probably if this were the case & people were actually all in there wouldn’t be as many divorces
men and women cheat at almost same rates in marriages but women initiate divorce at a much much higher rate . Additionally out of all the divorces amongst same sex marriages , 75% are the dovorces are same sex woman marriages and only 25% are same sex men. What's reason for that being so one sided towards women divorcing 3x more than men ?
They INDIRECTLY answered the main questions we all wanted them to take accountability for.
Great perspectives from the men
Getting married and having children is not a priority! Having a man is not a priority!
Dying alone is
😂
You’re right those things aren’t UNLESS those are things you desire to have.
I don't drink coffee, thank God. I wouldn't deal with a man who couldn't even take me out for a nice dinner date.
I like when women like you show your hand early.
@@Reignsupreme76 show my hand? I'm not begging nobody to treat me like a lady. The type of man who has a problem feeding me isn't the type of man for me. I don't entertain stingy people.
I love this so vedy much valuable information for all 😊
As a female of a particular age in the dating game, I agree with Ryan's perspective on the first date. This whole premise of the fancy restaurant first date is ridiculous. The purpose is to determine if you are interested in person not on the phone, online etc...Why would I want to spend 2 hrs+ on a first date with someone I'm not really interested in?
A phone or video call can suss out basic accountability, & a lunch or dinner can absolutely be done within an hour. This is accepting no effort.
Sis COOKED on this episode!!! Period💯
I love the idea of talking on the phone for a while as well
They came on here PREACHING!!! I’m a proud initiate. This was such loving, constructive criticism.
Instruction and direction are for children
Correct you just told on yourselves
@@Joshua-eo5hr Troll alert.
So basically they don't want women to be able to leave even if they misbehave. They are complaining about mindset, but they are starting with the mindset "things happen". Absolutely not. They are delusional.
I’ll stay married as long as he doesn’t hit me or cheat…Um thats completely logical… Why is he saying that like it’s wrong… are they crazy?
Yes they are.
CORRECT ALLISON, EFFORT. EFFORT IS KEY!
Doing more than just getting money. That was what I took from this. I tend to be one of those women who gets wrapped up in work.
If a woman really likes you, that woman will go anywhere with you. Why? Because it’s not about eating at some expensive restaurant. It’s all about getting to know you. When COVID was really bad, my first date with a young lady was a walk in the park. That was one of the best dates I ever been on.
If a man really likes you you should be able to plain Jane it
Unfortunately we can’t do that as women on a first date
For a grown person 35 and up a date should be at a decent restaurant if one is serious about marriage
If you are a recent college grad or under 30 coffee is ok but if you are a professional investing in finding a wife it’s an investment
@chrisharris2367 I would rather have a woman plain Jane it on the first date. The plain Jane look is the true representation of how she will look in everyday life. I want to get to know the real person, not some overly glamorized person.
Far as the coffee date, most grown folks drink coffee. Some drink it every day. You stand a better chance with an older person enjoying a nice cup of coffee versus a younger person.
Let's keep it real. It's not about the coffee. It's about a man spending a good bit of his hard earned money on you for the first date. You could care less about getting to know the man. In fact, a lot of trifling women go on dates with no intentions of wanting to get to know the man. Broke ass women are just using brothers for a free meal. I believe in giving to the needy, not the greedy.
@@Reignsupreme76 🤔 Sooooo... a woman accepting crumbs demonstrates how she'll be in a relationship... but nothing about the man offering said crumbs? 🥴 Okay.
@@Reignsupreme76 How in one moment, you mention women over-glamorizing, but then say they're too broke to pay for a meal? 🤨 Classic projection. In fact... every day, broke azzz men are trying to use women for a free house.
I love the host's comments, go girl
Amen! Get to know them a little before going on dates
They are select few most are know are married and desire it . The downlow ones don’t want marriage .
Love to watch Tysean's and Ryan's growth. Applause 👏🏾
(HI member)
The mindset is (in my opinion) a ptsd of historical treatment of the women in relationships. when women had no say in what happens to them during adverse treatments & had no choice but to stay and stick it out regardless of their wellbeing.. men (in my opinion) may still be operating with the notion that a woman should be there no matter what - even if I cheat don’t provide not supportive emotionally financially etc etc and the no matter what’s now have changed/ evolved since women now have a say in what they are willing to accept or put up with.
Okay Ryan, we hear you🗣️🗣️
The title is missing one thing “and why WOMEN WITH ANY SUBSTANCE SHOULDN’T CARE”. 😂
Coffee is A poor man (both spiritually and mentally) way of saying I really want to extract value and worth and everything you own without having to do much .
Nothing wrong with coffee when y’all are married with children having a nice Saturday to yourselves , no kids and enjoying running errands together. NOT! In the beginning when he’s trying to PROVE TO YOU , he can provide and lovingly lead you and a family. No. A wise woman understands there are levels to building a relationship.
Have no issue with coffee, love it.. however you won’t be taking me for coffee, one cause I might not want that! Which means you should ask what I want. That’s what a gentleman does and I can say “well I kinda have a taste for this, what about you, what do you have a taste for”? Again coffee in and of itself, isn’t the issue, it’s all these hidden agendas men have hidden behind certain things and they know it, women just don’t.
Low effort = little commitment ladies…
Use your God given discernment , it will forever disarm his manipulative schemes and tactics (the ones he knows he’s running or is unknowingly running because of his immaturity and lack of manhood). Either way it goes a man was created to provide and lead (lovingly spiritually and sacrificially. He’s called to lay his life down for you and children NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUNd). We are currently seeing the man have a temper tantrum because he doesn’t want the responsibility assigned to him, so he’s looking to relax in your role. Ladies stay put in your role and if he won’t step up into his, remove him…
They are so bitter at us 😅.
You know coffee is a general term. It doesn't have to be "coffee". And what role are women staying in?? It's clear both sides are confused about roles.
No lies told here!😂
They have done studies comparing gay divorce rates versus lesbian divorce rates. Something to look into.
I like the men's comments on leadership needed.
Leadership is earned not given!
I love these guys. The only male podcasters that make sense .
Please don’t say only cause there are alot of good male podcasts
@@ohkingjonny I said what I said.
THAT PART!!! Men don’t do paperwork!!! My partner and I get into it and it’s over PAPERWORK!!!
Lies
Quality men do paperwork.
😂😂
Paperwork at the doctor office, for a new job, for taxes, for a car, for a bank account.
How in the world does men dont do paperwork make any sense?
Most of our jobs involve daily paper work and signatures.
This makes no sense.
@@bombyo3634 It’s the useless paperwork that women come up with like shopping lists, vacation destinations, buy now pay later forms etc.
@@bombyo3634 BECAUSE IT'S WOMEN DOING IT FOR YOU
Seems like a lot of people are finding reasons to be cheap on dates!!! Don’t allow it ladies. I don’t!
And you will be consigned to perpetual singledom.
Just ungrateful 😂
I love coffee dates as first dates, I don’t want to sit with someone for over an hour on the first date if I don’t like them. We can cut it down to 10 mins & be done because who has the time? Many times I get there early to but my own coffee because I don’t want it to be thought that I owe you anything ... however I do agree with her, get to know someone before you meet initially
He said beauty doesn’t matter,and then turned around within the same sentence, and said beauty is number one, man really can’t tell the truth
Ryan is preaching! I love the positive exchange.
Starbucks girl over here! Theres just so many choices 😅😅
Nothing is over until existence is definitely terminated. So we can can always find a way to solve and settle things by finding that acceptable compromise for both partners.
I have abstained for 7 years. Simple! Am clear about everything now.😃🤷🏾♀️
If women started to match energy versus file for divorce, the statistic would be irrelevant. The conversation would then center around how "trifling" it is for a wife that is prioritizing her marriage and not pleased with her mate who lacks biblical headship, does not value her, disrespects their marriage, causes trauma to their household especially when children are present, etc. chooses to stay while opting to engage someone who does all the things her husband chooses not to do.
Exactly! And that’s the issue, when it comes to the conversation surrounding men’s infidelity in marriage, it is minimized as “we’ll most men cheat, it’s gonna happen” women are required to give men grace in these circumstances because of “the nature of a man” but I don’t hear the same argument being applied to men when women cheat. The majority want repeated forgiveness for an offense they would not tolerate if directed to them.
All I hear is excuses from men to escape accountability. Men want the benefits of marriage with responsibility of a single man.
If women collectively decide to escape all responsibility in a household, and services in marriage coupled with occasional infidelity to men they’d be looking for a replacement expeditiously! They’d be the ones filing for divorce in droves!
I love the first date being coffee
Thumbs up celibacy!! And on taking care of self!!!!!!Great comments men, I agree %100
Brothers want women when they are young, marriage is for women in their early 20s with no kids
Which of these men are married or have been married?
Does that matter because she isn't and is giving out dating advice
None of them are engaged or have been married.
@@HuhHaaHYAAAT She clearly stated that she was married. Don't you feel silly.
This lady literally proved their point on why we run away from marriage.
YES! YES! Sis, is doing some real interviewing! Ty and Ryan talking out the side of the neck on this one. Thank you for “pushing back” on some of the bs. What I’m hearing is men are loyal and shame on women for being abandoned or cheated on or abused for actually filing although we already know most men simply don’t file. Ryan, what are you even talking about??? Bruh. Women don’t receive direction…lol…women aren’t pets…we are people. Like, I’m truly insulted. I pray they truly hear her perspective too. I heard them LOUD and CLEAR. And I do agree with coffee dates…but a lot of the other rhetoric was off-putting.
Women never listen. YOU are not listening.Thats why u are all lonely with your cats.
Sister do you agree that women are more about feelings than logic? If so, you know who else is more about feeling than logic? A child. Think about that before you go into your feelings and throw a tantrum.
I dont care if a man takes me to coffee for a 1st date i actually like a walk or an activity so i can see how they interact with me and others around us its not about the coffee its about getting to know the person and the intention and the consistency after that
Your standards are low asf
14:00 minutes
What I received from Alison stating the coffee date situation is
Is not about a woman wanting him to spend more money on a first date or dollar amount
but more like she wants to have a better time w/ him in a first date and that a coffee date could be a bit boring,
If She redirects from a coffee date, she may like you more than you expected, she wants to do something better
That’s cool to me
As a woman, this is 100% agreeable. I would much rather go to an Arcade, play basketball, bowling, something like that. Where we could laugh, flirt etc.
BUT if it’s the first date, coffee isn’t TERRIBLE. The follow up date HAS to be more though.
Ryan's position is... I should be able to take you wherever I want to take you, you should just like it because I'm a man. He basically said it's not about enjoying the coffee but about enjoying him. So he doesn't care if she enjoys the date.
@@filmadcamp1512 i agree with that to
It can go either way
he's simply saying first dates are to determine whether or not we would like explore further after assessing each other, the focus is meant to be on the person and not the place, he is there to enjoy you as you are there to enjoy him. Now if there's genuine mutual interest after that then the window to all of the fancy stuff and nice experiences are open from there on @@filmadcamp1512
@@Christian900 You agree with Ryan's position about not caring.
"Cheap" dates benefit both men and women because it "lowers" the cost of dating, meaning both men and women can go on more dates instead of spending weeks texting back and forth. It also allows dates to "fail fast" (as most dates will). Dating is a numbers game, and the cheaper the date, the better chances the woman and the man have at finding their match.