WHY NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS THE ABUSE YOU WENT THROUGH - Its a personal journey
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.พ. 2025
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kar...
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The worst part of being a victim to these people is no one believes you. They think you are exaggerating everything.
Exactly!!
Yep
ONLY INTELLIGENT MATURE SANE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND... the truth seems to annoy people I thought were my friends and family. They seem inconvenienced. I call them fair weather friends and then I don't call them ever again. 😁 we are all worth more than that
..I’ve always hated the part when you describe what happened the narc always says that your crazy, it never happened that way
I agree. It painful, but I’ve decided to stop trying to convince people. Those who I love and are close to me, I do care that they understand, but I can’t make them understand. My husband is very convincing when he speaks. He knows exactly what to say, even when he’s lying through his teeth. People are swayed. I have come to rest in God’s knowing. God knows and sees all and what he has done to me, he has to answer to God. I’m resting there. God will handle him. I pray that he comes to repentance for himself, not even for me. 🙏🏽❤️
I was told many times: "Nobody has perfect family", yes but there is a line, beyond which the family becomes pathologically toxic.
That's gaslighting, that comment. Said to try alter your perception of reality.
💯💯👍👍
hello from Greece nobody understands but Jesus understands Very well 🙂🙂🙂
I hated more than anything when people would say that to me… like people started believing the narcissist and I was the one living in a fantasy land.
As I said in court after fleeing to the Battered Women's Shelter, " No one knows what happens behind closed doors.".
That nobody understands, and that you potentially just dig the hole deeper in trying to get help, is absolutely the worst part of narcississtic isolation.
Only someone who has experienced this mind boggling torture understands it. Everyone else says, just get over it. Your sanity comes back when you are away from them.
It can take many years to regain even a little sanity. I took the abuse from everyone until an old age. I’ll never recover but I can try to pick up a few pieces.
It’s unexpected, unexplainable, unpredictable with these people and there good at what they do which is why they wanna medicate people who breaks there silence. Look at the Government, it’s horrible. Everyone Stay Safe🫂
Spot on! This whole World is never ending gaslighting game...
@christar9527 We don't recover; we GROW! Don't give up!
...OR JUST FORGIVE THEM!!!!!!!!
You only understand if you have been through it yourself!! And once you see it you can’t unsee it!!
Wheww truer words have never been spoken! Once you see it you can NOT unsee it!
That’s the thing about healing, now that I’ve begun no contact with my entire narc family I can’t see myself going back.
Once your eyes are open your spirit is even more sensitive to everything these soulless people do.
May God have mercy on them but I choose my peace and sanity.
True and very sad
I was born into the narcissistic relationship and the abuse can literally make you hate yourself. Outsiders don't understand as it can be so difficult to even describe the abuse. Thank you for helping to clear a path for acknowledgement and subsequent healing.
And if you live in a small southern town like I do, I think the ministers in this town taught all the women, back in the 40's and 50's, to tolerate bad behavior ('forgive') because 'God wants you to'. I don't know much about the Bible, but personally I think that's a bunch of bull! But all the women believed it. They were probably taught that when they were little girls, then grew up thinking that. So if you tell one of them your boyfriend was mean to you, they would probably just tell you to 'forgive' because God wants you to. It can be really aggravating and I would even say, dangerous to listen to that kind of advice from these women.
I couldn’t have said it better. 💓
That’s what I was going to say. I was born into a wolves den. Two parents and two sisters. I was the target every single place I went because of them. Yeah I was their scapegoat and they set me up to take abuse and never fight back….until I saw the light when I was pushing 60. They RUINED me and my life. I’m barely surviving now. I just hope that there’s a nice hot place in hell for them. It’s what they asked for.
This is true. It takes hard work, determination, counselling, therapy and reading the Word of God and prayer to come out of it. By the Grace of God I did and am on the healing path to recovery. God Bless you all.
The narcissist has different sides to their personalities...some see only the good..others experience the evil..the one who only experiences the good will never ever believe you..and will turn against you and team up with the narcissist...get away from both or all of them!!!
Preserve yourself at all cost!!
Kevin you're awesome!!!
Demebeso714 I saw four clearly different personalities.
Good cop, bad cop, baby cop, evil cop. I saw baby cop, and devil cop the most. Toward the end when I was fed up with getting my heart busted to pieces every day i started seeing more of good cop again. All four personalities were controlling.
Now I just say that the person was possessed by the devil; makes it easier to feel empathy for them and see them as a human being.
What an utter nightmarish chapter in my life. It was so bad that it's like it didn't really happen.
That person used to say, "it's not that bad, your so overly dramatic, you make a huge deal over nothing; your just too sensitive"
To which now that I am alone with me again am realizing it wasn't that bad, it was much worse than what I initially thought.
My prayers are with you all that have endured such trauma.
God's love is the only love that is real.
Peace be with you
Demebeso714, your spot on about two split personality disorder. My ex has this evil side (mask off) which I never saw throughout my eight year married example: pawing or weaponizing my kids, manipulating my visitation schedule, harassing me about car seats which I bought etc. The sad part was she was being coach on this mess, I bet you that her sister was coaching her knowing dame well there was some consequence behind it. FYI: Her sister is married which is my sister in law and she basically took her kids away from her husband in the past, he was the sucker to come back to her. My ex thought she could do the same which lead me to file for divorce.
Good comment. Thanks
Demebeso714 his mother....
Yes, my father was very good at lying and making me get look like a bad kid. I was actually a very good kid. I don't talk to that evil narcissist.
Any type of abuse that hits your whole core is pure evil!
It makes me so lonely.. 😔
That no one seems to understand.. and no one even tries to understand.. So lonely..
+Marijke Koppens that's why this community is here for you
I know. It is a very lonely life.
Cry and perhaps write your feelings down.
I am feeling the same. I pray for wisdom to cope. It's not easy.
I am praying for you.
Loneliness. Is really hard it’s by far the worse part pathological loneliness it’s just it is torture
Your not alone. I do understand because I am healing from being with a NARC. You give your heart and because of the Narcs mental disorder and future faking with us it hurts so much. But God moved them cause He saw that Demon spirit and mess they put us through. No contact and healing is the best. God will send our true Loves. And the Narcs want get away with theyre lies and cheating and emotional abuse God will repay. Dont look back EVER !!!
I don't really talk to people about it for that reason.
My narc screamed at me in a fit of rage "Noone is going to believe you!"
I heard the same thing from my ex. And she was right. No one did believe me. To someone who hasn’t experienced this kind of abuse, it sounds too crazy to be true.
As the family scapegoat from an early age, I've been subject to the proverbial Chinese torture chair longer than some. I realized early on that no one understands, or cares to understand me, so I became self isolated. From the outside, people probably just sees me as a asocial curmudgeon. But, if someone was to know me intimately, they'd see a empathic person who has no tribe.
Hugs to you. An online tribe is better than no tribe at all. At least we truly understand, and so many of us are in self-imposed exile to protect ourselves and heal. ☺
wow I was just thinking what you said... they'd see a empathic person who has no tribe
Daniel C 🙋Mee too..,mine siblings stalking and hack my accounts and sabotage everything in my life..Its a psychologic torture..,
I love the idea of an online tribe ... it does my heart good ❤️
That's me for sure. But what I do is pray to the Lord. Why? Because he DOES know what is going on. He Knows and he cares. And he said "VENGEANCE is MINE!! I WILL REPAY". I have found this to be very true. So I do not have to take vengeance. In fact, the narcissist is his/her own worst enemy as more and more people get a taste of their diabolical behavior (whoever is closest to them gets the abuse). Then they are the ones who become more and more friendless. It's taken YEARS for this to happen in my lifetime. But meanwhile the Lord has helped me. I often think of the song where it says "He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock, that shadows and dry thirsty land." That idea comes from an old testament scripture of how God would protect his lambs. And is so comforting to me. I pray for the Lord to hide me in the cleft of the rock. Also, if you listen to the various renditions of the song, "He's got the whole world in his hands" there are verses that say he's got the different wicked ones in his hands as well. God knows how to handle the wicked.
Narcissistic abuse is a process that is subtle, hidden, fake, pervasive, treacherous, disloyal, evil, toxic and destructive. Survivors and thrivers are exceptional people.
We can't let them turn us into them. ..we have to always remember who we are in HIM
+Pamela L. Green that's exactly right thank you for watching
Amen
Pamela L. Green, that's the plan of the narc!!! To allow them to turn us into them!
Thank you for saying that Pam. I have gone so low and am very much ashamed. Just dont understand how to not be hurt by his undermining horrible things that he does that come out of nowhere. Have been praying hard for help physically and emotionally.
“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” --Nietzsche
Gaslighting, blameshifting, opposotional defiance, love bombing, fake apology, temper tantrums, power plays etc.
My family and former friends don't understand my abuse because they are the problem. Everyone in my family, which is huge, are all narcacists. So I've figured out very recently that either they don't want to understand or they don't have the capacity to understand. I come from a family of bullies who are completely oblivious to the pain that they've inflicted upon others and don't seem to care who they hurt as long as they're getting what they want.
Man, Al, kudos to YOU for breaking the mold and stepping out of the stereotypical member of your family. Not any more-- no-- you go start your OWN family "way" of being..... Prosper and flourish
Bless you Al! I too come from a "family" mob of bullies who could care less about another person's feelings. It is so hard to wrap your mind around it if you are not that way. It's very painful for me to feel as though I have no family whatsoever. I believe that narcissists don't have the CAPACITY to understand. This has got to be the work of the devil.
Yes alshield I get this throwaway kid from a narcisstic family never even met my birth parents but it is a no brainer that they were narcissists 🤔
And that’s true. A lot of times people to get involved in these relationships come from families of generational abuse or sex trade.
Same here. Thank God we are not alone. I totally understand your situation. I know i am replying late, and i hope you are okay.
Know them by their actions, for they only produce rotten fruit.
💯👑
Many people do not understand the mindset of the narcissist. I can now spot them right away. It took 5 plus decades of abuse to understand what I was exposed to and very fearful of. I now know you can’t change the behavior of these people and you can’t rescue your own children who have also fallen into the narcissist trap. Once you get past the poor me portion of recovery and learn to love yourself only then can you heal and realize the narcissist is a very damaged individual who goes around damaging others. You do have to stand up to narcissist bullies and look them in the eye or eyes. The flock is your inner spirit that you have always been. Unfortunately you can’t be with the narcissist because it is dangerous to your health.
S 2016 I grew up in a house of glass. I needed my intuition or the Holy Spirit to tell me when to be scared or who was scary. I thank God I still have that feeing now.
I had to let go of my whole family. Generational curse. It’s a fn lot
After I finally left the marriage, I have realized my father is one. Being near him is very hard because it's more of the same. I wonder if I can let go of parents after nearly dying (not exaggerating) in my marriage from abuse.
Hi S 2016, welcome to the club of people who see narcissists everywhere. Dr. Ross Rosenberg has made a video about this and compares it to the film, The Sixth Sense, one of my favourite films too. As you heal yourself towards becoming self love abundant you will begin to see the narcissists everywhere and develop a Narcometer. What keeps this Narcometer working is your self love.
I guess that's why narcissists don't see each other. Narcissists are full of self-hate and you need self-love to be able to spot the narcissists.
B Brave I had a similar experience and know them and who they are. I rationalize it by telling myself that the were very damaged at brith or through a traumatic childhood. Since my mother died my
GOD SEND! I just burst in tears when you said " you were in a relationship that you had no business being in.."
This video really gave me insight into my journey.
Thank you
Bullies with insecurities, immature, adult children that im glad those jannes and jambres with very low self- esteem were jealous, envious, etc. Since grammar school starts at home.
Exactly! what an eye opener!!
That's how I feel now, I had no business being in this relationship to begin with. I let down my guard and there "he" was looking ever so friendly and charming...then the love bombing began, then came the ring after 2 months of dating, and then we got married. I had a red flag before I said, "I do!", but pushed it to the side. BIG MISTAKE! My inner Holy Spirit voice is never wrong!
In order for these creatures to succeed they reside in a world of evil.
Kim Hobbs yes they do reside in a world of evil... it's like they have the devil in them..
My daughter is 33 years old... ended my whole life I have never met anyone as evil as my child..
What boggles my mind is.. she grew up in a kind loving home... up until she was 20 years old I thought she was the perfect child..
She got married and after her first child I noticed a change in her... she had more children and over the years little by little she changed into somebody that I do not even recognize..
It's the saddest thing I have ever experienced in my life..
And I was the one that she tortured and disrespected.. but I have left.. my husband and I are living at the ocean..
My daughter is giving me the silent treatment and keeping my grandchildren away from me. My husband knows we had to leave.. my husband is happy because he knows I am not being tortured anymore
Hopeful healing I was discarded by my daughter who now hardly contacts me. I know how painful this is. But I will give credit to my own narcissistic mother, People do what they want to do. All you can do is pray for your daughter.
A/C on in shared Apartment when temp outside is 33 degrees and snow on the ground.
What's really evil is the ones that use it as a weapon. They are aware of what they do. Demons play this awful game.
The world is evil inside out
Thanks Kevin you really know the pain and hassle that we go through. Its true no therapist or counselor understand narsissistic abuse. People have to experience it in their own skin. Its a so well disguised abuse. It has to come from the devil he is the master of deception.
Exactly!
Narcissists are children of The Devil.
he is the master of...
*DARKNESS
*HATE
*OPPRESSION
*DEPRESSION
*PAIN
*SUFFERING
*EVIL
*WICKEDNESS
ETC.
Walking with God, isolating for awhile and educating yourself on narc abuse seems to be the only solution. Literally NO ONE from pastors to therapists understand what we’ve been through. Narcissists are definitely demons in the flesh sent to make you look crazy over time smh
How did the Narcissist get away with it for so long? They prey upon your morals as a person who has better ideas about what a relationship should be. So while you refuse to give up your morals they use it against you to grind you down. Playing off your friends and family until you would rather avoid the drama. This kind of breakdown is like wiping away all the good you wanted to have with this immoral deceitful insignificant other..
Narcissists have no morals, they just imitate whatever is socially acceptable at the time. They will also use your morals against you, they will use them to hurt you. They will get you to confide in them and bring up past events. They will then resurface past events and believe me they can go way back, they live in the past. They will try to use past events to trigger an emotional response from you, which then feeds them. Narcissists are stuck in the past because they have so many unresolved traumas which they never began to deal with. Instead of dealing with their traumas they will project on to yours instead. They will focus on your traumas to forget about their own. If you have no traumas, the narcissist will try to create new ones.
Well said
Exactly!!
This is so accurate!! They don’t respect the good in others. They want to push you to your breaking point to either corrupt you to make you like them.
@@NarcSurvivor some do some don't
Try to use a less broad brush when painting personalities
"Broke your heart over and over again..." 😓🙏
Omg I just got woke. Shit I can’t believe how accurate this is.
I am a daughter of the most high God! Though my ex has taken everything, home, children and pets, from me and is using the courts to further abuse me, I will trust In God. God is at work. His will is for me to stand and wait for his perfect will to bring healing and hope. He is healing my heart one day at a time.
💯💯🙌❤️
SuddenlyHope amen
My family was very much like “ why are you still thinking about him”? I shut that shit down so fast. Over five years of torture. You don’t recognize it at first. it literally tears you down. I’ve always had core confidence and I went through three months of having nothing and not being able to find it after one of his abandonment sessions mind you WE WERE MARRIED. Then I finally pulled out of it and he love bombed again. It’s like they sense it. I had someone first hand watch it. WE DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THEM ANYMORE. I had a family member say I should “ get over it” and I shut that noise up real quick. I am loving and giving and it was abuse. Anyone coming out of this is a fricken warrior of light. Much love you guys! WE ARE THE STRENGTH THE WORLD NEEDS. Tear down the narcissist by continuing to show love and you’ll see rewards 😘
💖 I needed to hear this... I'm out but feel like I've lost.
I needed this too. Thank u for sharing your light and helping me to keep going. 3 months out from my wife leaving in the middle of the night leaving me alone with our 3 year old son trying to pick up the pieces
@@shanemeyer7989 Shane if you ever want someone to talk to please feel free to reach out to me. Im so so sorry :(
The HARDEST part is how they fool EVERY-freaking-BODY!!! Literally NO one believes the crap they pull bc they are SOOOOOO good at lying their asses off, AND wearing that ‘poor sweet me’ mask. Even our THERAPIST fell hook line and sinker for his ‘I’m such a victim in this’ routine. It’s MADDENING TO THE CORE 😫
Thank you so much! Much love from me! You're better off loving yourself and if someone else doesnt love you for being you then they can find someone else. Rock on sweetie!
Wow. You explained the abuse so clearly- and no one understands the slow deterioration of self that it causes. My former boss is s narcissist and, thankfully, i was able to get out of that work relationship before he completely destroyed my self worth. I don’t tell people what i experienced with his devaluing of me because it sounds so lame when explaining it. You are exactly right. People cannot understand the effects of their emotional abuse unless they have experienced it.
Only those who’ve experienced the insidious manipulation and deception will understand- don’t worry bout the others- they’re just lucky they didn’t have this frame of reference. save your discussions for those who get it. The others will make you doubt yourself- HG Tudor writes about well meaning but ‘bad advice” that people who don’t get it give people who are trapped in these relationships- like just try harder...or oh maybe he’s insecure or maybe just reduce your expectations or maybe she’s under pressure. Normal people just won’t understand.
so true
It's ok, FIND YOUR TRIBE! We are MANY!
'Normal people just don't understand' ---- BECAUSE THEY DON'T CARE!
I’ve had so many bad therapists. Today the psychiatrist I have to see unfortunately told me that the work I’m doing online is not good. She gave me a totally lame reason why. I told her she’s wrong and that the work I’m doing and help I’m getting from these videos and articles has saved my life. She said “Well they can supplement your therapy “.😂😂😅 I’ve been in so called therapy for 34 years and they ALL sucked! The only people who understand this are those who have lived through it. Period. Even supposed experts online who haven’t lived it don’t understand how devastating it really is.
My mouth fell open when he said -with physical abuse people could see my scars. First time I have ever heard someone say my thoughts!! I’ve said “I wish he would just hit me & get the torture over instead instead of day in and day out mental abuse”
As a Christian I thank you that you have approached this from a godly perspective 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Because narcissistic personality disorder and the Bible is honestly connected. I swear! It's way to similar. Only true empaths know this.
@@NateEylarof course it's connected. The devil is the source and Jesus is the only way out. You're welcome
@@NateEylar empath ,is that a new age thing ? Been hearing that alot lately
@@lifeintheshack2193it simply means someone deeply empathetic or highly sensitive.
I found after he passed that he bad-mouthed me all the time so he could look like a “victim”. I had no idea. He lost control of me so he made me look like a shew. I was heartbroken when I heard it from multiple people. After three years I’m healing. It’s God that got me through.
💯👑
They are so damaged they cannot ever bond with anybody they discard as they are sadists, hoover to feel to the possibility to damage person yet again they are emotional lepers who leave a trail of unfathomable damage.
+C B there's a lot of Truth to what you're saying that's why it's best to stay out of their lives
It has stalked me for 2 plus years now,moved found me.Manipulated lied,I found myself in the system for nothing other than reporting the stalking ,I am still paying the price for trying to get justice done.I am still fighting.I will get evidence of this creep stalking me.I did not see this coming.
Thank you , you're so right about everything. It's so true. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am a 47 female, who is the oldest of five children my parents had I been a Christian for over ten years. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. Jesus is our hope. I always been the black sheep in my family I was told by pastors pray about it and deal with it. I left those churches. Its true most of your friends dont understand it is right.yes, i did feel like why am i a Christian then. I left those churches.I finally found a great Christian church and supportive people. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers.
Very true Kevin, narcissistic abuse does take place over long periods of time, at least several months. But once you have recovered from self-love deficit/codependency or you are on your journey to this state of emotional health, you will see them everywhere. You will experience this abuse just by being around these types of people, within the first seconds or minutes of a conversation, they are quick to put you down or use passive aggression.
No one understands the abuse you went through, not just because of what Kevin has said, but also because the narcissist has conditioned the people around you to become flying monkeys/apaths/enablers. They enable the abuse to take place and adopt the narcissist's beliefs. Flying monkeys are basically narcissists and this is how the smear campaign starts. Now it doesn't matter what level of abuse you have been through, it doesn't matter if you're dead on the floor. Because the narcissist has conditioned his/her monkeys to see you the same way that he/she has always seen you. Now you are seen as the abuser and the narcissist plays the role of the victim.
+Narc Survivor this is absolutely true it's very sad
Its Amazing how Much Power The Narcissist has over Their Flying Monkeys and Enablers, im starting to wonder maybe, just Maybe the Narcs are Basically TRANSFORMING their little Minions to be JUST LIKE THEM 🤔
you see these demons testing you up front. they are constantly testing people for potential victims. this is when you have the opportunity to protect yourself You have to call them out and make them know you know what they are trying to do. then they move on
Yep. Birds of the same feather flock together. Wolves always run in a pack.
Spot on. All of this.
This is SPOT ON! Finally a Christian viewpoint of NPD. Thank you so much for validating the abuse even though we can't articulate it at times!
👑🙏
Laura Greer Searle Amen!❤️🙏😇
The personality and attitude of a narcissist in the eyes of most people is common and just natural. To the point that they think Im crazy creating stories and pain in my head. Sickening reality to deal with alone. Thank you for being part of my journey to the right path. Not easy but Im learning. My statement before I go to sleep is "YOU ARE SLOWLY RECOGNIZING YOUR WORTH ANALIZA.. GOOD JOB!.. GOOD JOB ANALIZA!...YOU ARE SO FREAKIN AWESOME!!" then I tap my shoulder thrice.... God is working with me.
liz pretty You are slowly recognizing your worth Analiza. Good job. Good job Analiza. You are so freakin awesome 💗 !! Thank you. I am going to tell myself this before bed, too 🌸🦋🌸 ~Julia, “Remember your worth Julia. All you have to do is remember, Julia. You just forgot that all you had to do was remember”... that is something that I just remembered helped me when I was in the thick of it to get the strength to get out 🦋
THANK YOU liz!!!!. Great recomemdation
Amen to positive words right before sleeping. May you be well along on your healing journey by now. What I've been saying before I go to sleep is (saw it posted on insta), "The abuse was not my fault. I am worthy!"
Love this!
Well as for the title...we all here can fully understand what we all have been through, the proof is, we are listening to this message... you are not alone. Don't give up on yourself. The journey will lead you to inner liberation. Blessings
When you can breathe a sigh of relief and begin to relax after the narc abuse. When you realize that your “ loved one” is a narc and you have many years of not knowing or understanding the abuse or the negative effects on health.
My abusers have marginalized me. I can't get medical care, unable to get shelter or a job and live in my car. I have no addictions, and actually can't even get emergency shelter as I've been made to look like a monster. Counselors won't work with me they lock their office, don't answer phone or voicemail. Everyone believes the narcissist. They've stolen my money and won't stop till it's all gone. I've had the drip for almost 5 years. No one believes me, my abusers have convinced everyone that I'm the abuser.
These are family members, including my narcissistic adult children. They use coercive control and flying monkeys.
No contact and moving have not improved my situation, they track my every move.
I hope things have turned for the better for you. I have read the true christianoty'( of Johann Arndt)he says that og you try to make people belive you, when you have been lied about, it is like sticking your hand intp a bie-cube- it makes it hundred times worse. He say you must wait patiently and trust the God will let thruth win, in His time. Pray! Read Psalm 37. God help and bless you. I believe you!
Wow God is good. I'm going through this now. My mom said she is disappointed in me, a church member called me stupid. All judgement. And it seems like the narcisstic is being treated like he is the victim...with lies
Wow... but Jesus knows the truth.
+Tracy Williams yes Jesus does know the truth. Stay strong on your own personal convictions no matter what the church pastor or your mom says. This is a test to see who you follow more the Lord God in your heart, or the words of biased individuals who may or may not be looking out for your well-being
My adult children, my sisters wanted my "Crazy ass locked up ". 🔒
Being vindictive rises upon me, no one believed me. No one had enough faith...
Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking "Chinese Water Torture." The local police didn't listen. I watched, I felt, my insight became a true gift 🎁...
All the years of therapy, all the books I've digested, all the struggles, and challenges throughout my years. The enablers knew the hardships...yet they were in jubilation & celebrated the power of entertainment in slaying another's confidence, taxing the psyche, and leaving stress doing its physical damage.
I appreciate your help. Namaste 🙏
It actually took a counselor/therapist to educate me on what a Narcassist was and that I was in a relationship with one. And she also told me I was an Empath. Now it's true, Narcassists, (just like other people can)may demonstrate many sides to their personalities. They can show empathy, humility, and oneness as means of manipulation just as easy as they can be jealous, arrogant, and a bully. And sure people will have a hard time believing you when you share your experiences because the Narc showed others the side they worked hard at portraying and convincing to only serve their cause or need of that person. And honestly it takes time and an educated mind to recognize people with these traits.
Tara, like you I found a counselor familiar with emotional abuse. Fortunately, I head my sibling's actions captured in their own writing. This enabled him to identify and explain what was happening. If possible document any interactions. I've been no contact for two years, and now realize I'm far better without them and the flying monkey's. Stay strong, and thrive.
I recognize it. Greatly mourning the loss since I love my family member despite this.😌
Are you in the United States? Not a one I’ve seen in 34 years gets it. I have had bad insurance though because I can’t work.
The darkness has been calling me but this is after a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. It's so hard to not allow it to change you or to not fight back I feel like someone needs to fight back though or they will never learn!
I fought back and called him out in front of friends Ephesians 12 says to expose them and have nothing to do with darkness. My trouble has been understanding me in all of it. I saw the shadow side of me so much so I could see some narcasstic traits in me. It's a tough one. I don't think I will ever be the same again since my relationship with a narcasist I have lost a part of me that was caring and nice.
You can fight back by healing and speaking out to others that may have gone through or are going through the same.
@@wilmaduncan7070 The devil works through the narcissist to kill you or parts of you off. I can relate to what you’re saying hugely. I will never recover after about 60 years of narcissistic abuse. It actually messes up your brain and body.
Tina, they *won't learn.
@@wilmaduncan7070 Ephesians 5:11 King James Version 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them
Over the course of my life I've watched family members defame people's character through flat out lies and have absolutely no remorse for the damage they've done. Don't even get me started on the narcacistic fools I'd wasted my time and energy with, romantically speaking. It just seems that I attract narcacists instead of peaceful people.
Al Shields, I hear you. I am just starting to see and know about the family members who defame and destroy people's character. I guest you put these defamers in the same boat 🚢with the narcissic. I do. But the lies that they use for their defamation campaign is deadly. I am amazed. This family defamation and hate is real stuff. And I hear ya! Loud and clear...
You are basically in a cult
@@deehen9844 The smear campaign is probably the worst part of it. The total and complete lies
they come up with is shocking! My egg donor tried to make me look dangerous to everyone in the community. Just when I was injured permanently and needed help from the family. They get it backwards…THEY ARE the dangerous ones!!
I keep it to myself..unless people have experienced narcissist abuse first hand, they will never understand..you tube has been my therapist 😁
I too questioned my faith. It has been 10 months out of the lie i was living. He killed my trust and faith. Thes u tube videos are the only thing that had kept me sane. I still binge watch them hours on end to get me through this. I pray but dont feel the passion for my faith that I use to.
Anne Hof the abuse has striped away all the religion associated to my faith. It forced me to look towards heaven and say, " I guess it's just you and me, isn't it Lord? No one knew or could know how the abuse tore my heart and soul out of my body. Faith? It is built on knowing the Word of God and allowing Christ to be our all. These are Easy words but not so easy to live. Faith cometh by hearing and hearing come by the Word of God. It's a huge step to take. God bless you as you get to know who our Father is when we feel like nothing. He is very good.
Anne Hof I also binge watch these TH-cam videos... Kevin's message today really really helped me so much... it really hit home on just how much torture that we have to go through because of our narcissist.. God bless you stay strong
+Anne Hof I am right there with you I completely understand. Thank you for watching
Narcissistic abuse should reawaken your faith. This is what all of the holy books have been talking about, the narcissist, the Jezebel spirit. Notice how their behaviour mimics the portrayal of Satan in the holy books. That's what we're dealing with.
Thank you all for your input and support. It is a grace to be able to suffer with the crucufied Christ and offer our sufferings up to Jesus to use as he see fit. God bless you all. We Warriors must pray unceasingly and Trust in Father, son and Holy Spirit to heal us and use our ecperience to help others.
MY OPINION
1.People don’t ¨get it¨ because in my opinion, not enough people have documented this, not that it does not happen, but the fact that sometimes we don’t speak up about abuse to one-self, for whatever reason the person has.
2.Live it to believe it¨ unfortunately this is the case. Some people live in a bubble and cannot comprehend this type of behavior exists. I could not believe a person existed ( ex narc ); nevertheless, that is was a problem in the population in the world.
3.True when you say, there are no physical scars, we live in a society where we need fact to believe something, is contradictory, I know.
Totally agree. We have to see it to believe it exists
You know the expression "death by a thousand cuts"? That's exactly the abuse. It's a difficult thing to understand unless you're the target. That's part of the isolation a victim feels in addition to the emotional damage inflicted by the narc. I'm healed now with only a tiny superficial scar. I'm grateful to you Kevin and the many other educational YT channels devoted to the understanding of the spectrum of NPD. I credit you all with taking me out of the darkness. Many blessing to you to continue the positive work and recovery. To all in this community my prayers for healing and peace.
I went through the physical and nd mental abuse of a narcissistic husbañd! I got over the blood and bruises of the physical but it was over 23 years before I felt like I was even beginning to get over the mind games! I was doing really be good until I got a neighbor who was a narcissist. It was like PTSD. It brought back the insecurity of my past!!
Kevin I would give my R arm for anyone to understand what it’s like living w Bpd & cptsd at 45yo from a narcissistic mother who emotionally, physically & mentally abused me until the age of 43.
This crap is hard !!!!
Survivor OfMany I understand ❤... I had to go no contact to save my life.
I understand too. I was with my mother yesterday I bought her some really nice things for her to only tell me I never give here money and what I give her (as it relates to money is nothing). She said, I don't need what you bought me, mind you I bought most of what's in her apt. She's selfish and ungrateful. However she blasted how my sister came and gave her lots of money, lol, I said Good she can keep doing it. I qIuietly went and prayed for comfort from the Lord. Many blessings to you.
PS. I'm 48 years old and have learned to let nothing she does to really penetrate my heart.
Feel you, Survivor...Here with Kevin and other narc abuse channels is the ONLY place we are validated and fully understood!
You're not alone Survivor OfMany. I have survived almost 30 years of psychological, sexual, emotional and physical abuse. It led me to take all kinds of drugs, commit crimes, self-harm and even attempt suicide. Naturally the narcissist will then blame you for all of these things. I've never heard of a narcissist that accepts responsibilities for their actions or influences on others.
But unlike the narcissist, you can heal and recover. No matter how psychologically damaged you are, there are therapists that can do a lot for you just in one week of intense treatment. You can fully recover from BPD and C-PTSD and be better than you've ever been before.
No need to give your R arm. There are plenty of us out here who understand. I just turned 52, am living in my parents' backyard because my narc ex stopped paying child support and we lost our home. My mom and sister-in-law (SIL), who also lives on the property, are both narcs as well. I totally get what you are going through.
I have an emotional support animal (ESA) that I now have to desensitize because my SIL drove her to neurotic behavior. Stick with the TH-cam channels you relate to and that support your recovery. The best thing to happen to me was finding a therapist who understands (because he too was raised by a narc) and who validates, and normalizes, my feelings. Hearing others' stories helps me feel not so alone or crazy. Prayers and hugs to you.
Thank you for your videos. You truly understand how terribly excruciatingly painful it is to have endured the wrath of a covert narcissist. This to me means you must have experienced this nightmare as well, for which I am very sad and sorry you have gone through this. I send you such big hugs through my very painful tears.
Best wishes Kevin. God bless you.
There are still some real people left. America is gifted to have you.
Thanks so much for your kindness.
+Kamella Pollard thank you so much for watching and for your kind and encouraging words
Narcissistic abuse is sinister, diabolical, sneaky, lowdown torment. From the pit of hell.
I still to this day don’t say “Poor me I’ve been abused”
Or “my parents fd me over good”.. because what would that say about me? I left them but I am but a shell.. empty. Don’t get close to anybody.. being around people is scary.. lived through b Ca & a pulmonary embolism at 36. That was nothing compared to this
Survivor OfMany God bless you... do you not let the narcissist win.. there are good kind people in this world.. hopefully one day you will find peace and happiness find your joy..
Do not let the north assist win this.
The narcissist is only happy when you are miserable..
They are evil they are demonic
God bless you
"What would that say about me?" THAT wud say that you speak the truth! That's what it wud say! Since when is speaking the truth bad? 2016 maybe? Well that era is OVER!
we don't all feel sorry for ourselves it is called PTSD...
Yes. My adult daughters think I am the crazy one. They think I’m acting strange, etc. Amazingly so frustrating and sad. I’m in this 50 years before I discovered what’s happening to me. Yep I’m now 74. Drip drip drip.
Well Kevin those narcissists realy won battles against us but they won battles that we never fought....and this is their trick but in the end they had lost the war because someone above loved us and we know who he is...yes noone understod me except 2 people in my life but thats ok for me because now i am in a possition to understand someone who has been abused and to avoid those charmy abusers if i can and if i cant i will fight them.Our God is not only love it is justise also and i have sawn that when i saw what hapened to my abuser.We will never be the same Kevin cause we will be better my friend thank you for your videos.May God bless you.
+teo tselek thank you so much for watching and thank you for your encouraging words
I got chills when you said wolf....when he pretended to be spiritual and relate to spirit animals....he chose a wolf. I felt a very strange feeling in my belly when he said that to me-----I remember it vividly. It was via text and I felt ill.
I wish you would direct more of these videos (this one in particular) to adult children of narcissistic parents. The disillusionment and confusion of realizing you have a narcissistic parent... I feel very lost. I used to be on a worship team too. I used to work as a designer on the creative team of my church. I had been at this church since I was 10 years old. I’m not even sure if I want to go back to a church like that again, because even though I still believe in Jesus I have been questioning almost everything else about my life. I feel a lot of shame when you say that maybe this was about “going places you weren’t supposed to go” and “following the wolf.” What if you were raised by wolves in sheep’s clothing? What if you THOUGHT all your life that you belonged to a perfect family who loved each other?? I was 23 before I realized their love was completely conditional and that they had the capacity to turn me into the scapegoat the MOMENT I set my first boundary with them. Things collapsed so quickly. God has been with me but as you know, he was not able to change them. I am no contact now. I’m still hurting.
+DarthxErik I understand exactly where you're coming from, and I will be working on a video to talks about this
The Royal We Thank you so much. It is even more isolating for me since I was homeschooled by my narcissistic mother, kindergarten through 12th grade! And then I still lived with my family till I was 24. The feeling that my whole life has been a lie is not a dramatization.
I so get this! It took my being in my fifties to fully face this reality.
Sending love.. you are not alone. We don't know each other but we are true family
Not only did they not support me, they envied me. He was so dazzling and charismatic. The suffering did help me find God so that is my happy ending
Thank you, Kevin. I grew up around people not understanding me and I couldn't understand until much later in life. But the feeling was like: "why am I here in the first place?" The thing is that I think my narc mother gave me birth for other reasons...I still feel very much alone in this life, even though I do have my own family now. I had a Therapy, but the feeling doesn't go away completely. It's hard 🖤
One and half a year not talking to my mum and now 6 months to the rest of the family. I started to see more how toxic it was.
Started to like myself.
Well done; I hope that you’re feeling a little better and “free”!
As someone in who is also in a choir with a narcissist for a choir director.....this hits very close to home.
I can think of two of those.
Thank you for clarification on nobody sees the magnitude of the abuse that took place.
Also the point you made at the end about you will be 10 times the person you were before, having gone through this process.
They don’t understand because they’ve never experienced it and have no awareness of it!!!
It doesn’t matter what other people think. They are not you, you are you, and you went through what you went through not them. So stop trying to get people to understand. They are not doing it on purpose. What you went through is unique to you and only you, it now exists only in your mind. Only you can understand it.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverb 26: 6
I stopped trying to explain it... Noone understands unless they have been through the same thing
I love your approach and that you are also giving us a different perspective with biblical truth and principles. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing- you are light!
👑💯❤️
Many bosses are narcissists and we have to drag ourselves into work that we have zero motivation to keep doing because we know nothing will ever please them.
That’s mostly true
Very well presented thanks! Day 31 NC. Thanks for talking on the phone man.
This sucks
I tell my therapist to ask me questions because I have 54 years of abuse to talk about.
The time we have to endure these things is very short compared to eternity with God. IF we can keep our focus on that we can make it through. I am a runner, I beg for the Lord to take me out of mean situations, God knows when we have had enough and gives us times of refreshing in our soul even if the circumstances do not change. The closer we become to Christ the less we hurt when others revile us.
+Gwendolyn Wehage there's a lot of Truth to what you're saying thank you for sharing
34 years married , to covert narc, did not know what I was dealing till about 10 years ago. He is complex and brilliant and I’m finally not reacting but I know I have ptsd. You are right no one can understand unless been in it. I was perfect target , emotionally neglected growing up and I am a natural encourager. I was blind so long. Since not reacting love bombs and devaluation rapid fire. I am His (Christ’s). First episode of The Chosen, above all I’m His and He sees me
Thank God for this community. It’s where I found out the abuse I had been taking had a name - malignant narcissism. It was then after the divorce/discard that I found these videos that I began to heal. No one outside of this community understands. And I would be very careful with therapists too. I don’t think there are many who really understand this. I had a bad experience with one who didn’t understand. I gotten more healing right here. Thank you Royal We!
+Jerry S thank you so much for watching
when I mentioned narcissism to my pastor he said that they are crazy people. You cant make sense out of crazies, they do things that make no sense like a lunatic.
He gets it.
He is right!
Yeah but it’s even scarier. It’s a spiritual problem. That’s why they do so much evil.
They don't understand and they even blame me n told me that guy (narc) loves you so much, that was the day I stop talking abt the narc
Thanks Kevin
Yes. I thank God for all 20 years of my trials, because I would not be the believer I am today without it. I would have never got to know myself so well. There is one thing for sure. Everything which had a beginning will also end! God's Word is eternal and His promises are true. What's needed in this situations is to gain the right perspective.
16 years of alcohol recovery, and now this. God is taking me to a complete wholeness and you are an amazing part of my journey. God bless.
The narcissist has only a false constructed sense of self, and so yours drives them crazy. They must tear down your real uniqueness and personality and individuality (by subtly convincing you all the things you like and do are bad and evil)
Among your litany of people who seemingly don't "get" it, you mentioned the word "parents." Well, what if your parents ARE the problem and you were brought up by narcissists. That's probably the longest and worst form of torture there is because it's inescapable and not optional at least until you're 18. Coming out from under that is really tough because it becomes the foundation of all the rest of the "bad" relationships you're going to encounter in the years to come. Childhood programming is the most difficult to undo. It's a good video, especially the part about getting back to your higher Self, but it excludes the parents as the potential problem. Thanks!
Marlina Dykema Well said. I'm glad you're immune to it; that means the healing is working! We just have to send them a blessing when they show ingratitude, impatience, or anger. It's interesting how they can regulate their emotions around certain people, just not around YOU, which goes to prove that it CAN be controlled. Keeping ourselves empowered is the key. Stay strong!
Yes yes yes. I thought because I was a christian I suppose to endure. But when I reached a point I couldn't take it anymore none of my Christian friends could understand where I was coming from.
It breaks my heart that so many Christians think they have to endure abuse. There’s so much bad theology on this and not enough resources in the church to combat these spiritual matters.
I’m so glad I saw the light but I will never be able to look the other way knowing others are suffering without knowing the truth.
But God has a way of giving us the info we need. God drop these videos in my lap. I dont even know how how I started getting them But God gave me the clarity that no man could. Thank God it has freed me from all the bondage of the narc!
Keep praying g for wisdom
So many Christian counselors are unfamiliar with the proper info on narcissism. But God at the right time gave me the wisdom I needed that no man could to free me.
A lot of people don't understand why we don't just leave. They don't understand the need for a strategic escape which may involve staying with the narc until the time is right. So of course they don't believe us. So hurtful.
inspectorbudget Yes it must be very strategic. I get what you are saying. I made him think it was his idea lol.
+inspectorbudget you are absolutely right there is a strategic way to excuse yourself from these relationships with toxic individuals
shadele17 Great job! I made mine think that he got me kicked out of my apartment due to all the drama & that I had to go away for inpatient counseling for mental breakdown. Far from the truth. I just moved. He fell for it without the slightest resistance. Then hoovered me saying he really cared about me & to call him at yet another new number (constantly losing & replacing phones). I been NC 4 mths. Pride was a small price to pay.
The Royal We I know you know! Thanks for your videos. Hope you are enjoying the STL!
I have watched most of the videos on TH-cam about narcissistic abuse. This one spoke to my injured soul. Thank you for seeing us and helping us find a way back to our flock.
You absolutely described my life there! The relationships I deal with are not ones I have chosen for myself but they impact me directly anyway. Gets complicated when you really have no one to turn to.
If you work with a therapist, you must, must find one who has experience working with the kind of trauma you experienced. Whether it’s from a narcissistic parent or CPTSD, alcoholism addiction, if you don’t find someone who specializes in the area of trauma or you could make the trauma worse. If your therapist, counselor, preacher or coach gaslights your experience, fire them immediately and find another.
The pain is so real and so deep. So validating to hear you say no one believes you or understands. The videos are so spot on, it's like Thank God somebody knows about this!
Yes..I tried everything I thought was right in my marriage..nothing worked..and. now I know why
Not only did he abuse me. He convinced me I was worthless & I was causing all the problems. I gave my best & couldn’t seem to make it right. Coming out of the fog.. & I wish I saw the truth sooner. I am the one who married the worthless , manipulative person! Not him!
Everyone around me understands except the flying monkeys and I don't give a shit about them. I don't care if they believe me. I'm lucky to have such an amazing support system.
I FREAKING LOVE YOU DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been raised by my mother as her scapegoat!!!! I had a great dad and hope that id be 18 one day back then!!!! Now I'm 51 and I was feeling beat being in one mean relationship after another....I finally met this sweet guy that everyone seems to love!!!! He is a mobile RV repairman.
He said he protects women and children..... I was hooked!!!! 16 years today i lost my ability to work, my kids' respect and trust, my reputation, my drivers license and my self worth!!!!! I thought I was the problem for real!!!! I am in recovery because my girls say this man who is dad to my 12 yr old girl was touching them.
I like Mikes cherry lemonades and pot. So I'm jumping through CPSs hoops riding the bus and having people treat me like I'm the problem( cuz we can't prove what they said happened and dad is golden). BULLSHIT!!!
Now I understand why my children(3) lost those things for me!!!!! I felt like a bag of poop!!!!! He wonders why he has not got any visit rights....hmm??? I believe my babies!!!!! Now I've had plenty of time to be in my thoughts and watch the lights turn on in my head!!!!!! I am moving out here as soon as I can and we will be a family again without his nonsense!!!!!
Beautiful baby!!!!!!!!
Thank you my brother in Jesus!!!!! I'm so blessed I found your channel!!!!!!!
Yes. The worst torture is feeling knives going into my back over time not knowing who put them there and why. I can't reach them to stop them from going deeper. Years of feeling that pain asking the one I believed was doing it to try to trust me. Silence. Then he doesn't understand why I gave up. If I understand he had to punish me for not reading his mind accurately. I pray one day I recover and trust love and God. I lost everything.
Thank you Kevin. You're awesome in explaning the way we can resolve our chanlenges and heal from the abuse.Blessings.
No one understands. And this type of abuse makes you question who you are as a person. Makes you even forget who you are and what you want...its destroys you completely....Your identity of self is obliterated.
Yes it’s so true. It can completely take away your identity if you don’t heal and put those boundaries in place.
The narc can’t take away your sense of self forever. Once you break out of their trance you can get you back.
thank you so much....I also experienced the physical, violent, life threatening abuse and it is NOT better!...it's scary as Fu##.....humiliating, embarrassing, too.
The best way to describe how I feel is ptsd. 😞
Brilliant video. I still can’t believe it myself and I lived it from my family and two colleagues right when my mum was passing. If I hadn’t experienced it, I would think it was nuts. I did and I do. They are truly a spiritual sickness
I am lucky. My twin sister knows exactly what I am going through. It was she who warned me I was dealing with a covert narc. My sister and I are very close. I am now divorcing him after 27 years. My sister is my rock and has helped me every step of the way. I am alive because of her.
Serious a complete Mind F
Survivor OfMany a total mind fuck! D
Complete for sure.
38yrs of this kind of abuse i had no idea what i was dealing with until these videos on utube.
I just had my 39th wedding anniversary on the 21st. I'm a wreck. Beyond description. Sooooo little energy left after this nightmare that I can barely take care of myself. I turned into my mother. I married my father. Lord have mercy. 😞
@@juliesunshine333 I understand i had a heart attack i was a mess still trying to figure out what has happen.
The wolf is good at finally convincing the sheep that it was a dog....
🤔💯
Maybe no one else can see or understand the abuse you went through but the Lord saw it and it's all written down in His book.