@Jas Mac as I am experiencing with my mother , she probably thinks that she is manipulating her therapist. That’s why she is excited. For them is just about a game of controlling.
@Jas Mac Jumping to conclusions.* Narcissists don't try to be friends with their therapists, in fact, they're quite avoidant of therapy because they know they'll probably be found out. A person could want to be friends/all friendly with their therapist for many reasons. Like, someone with BPD, for example. It could be rooted out of core loneliness.
@@bunilleactually, the only one doing the “jumping” here is you!!... Not sure what’s got you so triggered. But you’re jumping down her throat for literally sharing HER experience and HER truth with HER Mom. Of whom she knows better than anyone. So she certainly doesn’t have to jump to conclusions...she’s living it!! And since when are we making blanket statements about Narcs?...Everyone knows no two are the same. Furthermore, I don’t think you’re speaking accurately at all. In fact, I’d be willing to bet there are just as many Narcs if not MORE, who’d be more than willing to go to Therapy and yes, absolutely try to befriend the Therapist as well. This is 100% what it’s all about for the Narc!!!.... The game the chase, the manipulation, the opportunity to prove the healthy person wrong, winning over the therapist, soliciting/gaining of sympathy, etc etc. I know my delusional ass Narc Mother (along with plenty others I’m sure), would be lining up at the door. Are you kidding me?... This would be HER MOMENT; she’d be loving every min of it. UNTIL she felt she was being challenged , held accountable or uncomfortable in any way. It would be a wrap & she’d drop that Therapist in a heartbeat if things weren’t going her way. Idk...I just kind this to me sounds far more consistent with the behavior of a Narcissist, than wanting to befriend a Therapist out of “loneliness”. That doesn’t make sense to me.
@@krissymichele You really do sound like a narc deflecting with all of your intentional emotive language and millions of capitals to manipulate people's thoughts while also attacking me and everyone who you don't like, but oh well.~ Did you not watch the video? You can't diagnose someone just because you don't like them lmfao, go off. Ditto for you. You'd also love every minute of it until you're being held accountable, and you'd deny and deflect and blame everyone else if things weren't going the way you wanted it to. Man... Of course, loneliness and seeking comfort in your therapist doesn't make sense to you. You're the uneducated one and you just admitted it by saying that. You know nothing about personality disorders yet claim you do. You sound like a narc yourself pushing it onto everyone else, blaming them for getting kindness in therapy because they definitely cannot find kindness in your narc self. Please educate yourself about PDs better before you start yelling at me. Oh, and the gaslighting you're doing along with the deflection. Jeez. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and realise the one being triggered is you? Is being mature and respectful impossible for you when admitting your so-called "truths"? You can be truthful without insulting everyone you dislike, y'know.
One “hack” I use with narcissists is being very shallow with them. I talk about mundane things like weather, etc. I never tell them anything about myself or my family that is meaningful, deep, or serious. My mom is a narcissist and she always finds a way to use the information against me. I have learned to zip my lip! Which is unfortunate because we don’t have that mother-daughter relationship that everyone longs for. Instead, we have a surface and civil relationship.
Did the same thing with my father toward the end before I cut off the relationship. He always tried to get all the life details out of me when I'd come to visit him and I'd just either be very mum or just change the subject to something in the news. Used to irritate him so much, lol.
I’m nervous about trying this with my mom as it’s an easy conversation when she talks about herself but I hate it when she badmouths people I don’t know how to divert the conversation without getting emotionally involved
@@jc_80 One thing I do when my mom starts in is just shrug and show little interest...is she tries to get me to co-sign her BS, I just say 'i dunno" and become very boring. It works for me, but then she sets her sites on my siblings. Best of luck to you!
After 37 years I finally realized with the help of my therapist that i was married to a narcissist who had robbed me of my identity and self worth. Finally, last year I gathered enough strength to walked out on him with absolutely zero regrets.
Thumbs up for u! I know its not easy. Im going through the same wt my husband. I just keep giving chance for him but nothing change so far. U r so brave.
@@dyas932 That's such a problem...can waste Many years....waiting for another person to "change". You're right, courage is necessary, to do the work (with professional support) to change the only one we can...that's right...ourselves. It's the best thing ever! It does require being willing to feel the pain of disillusionment about what we hoped certain people could be in our life. But becoming friends with ourself, becoming real about our expectations of others, can't recommend this enough. (note* leaving can be done in stages, from the inside, in one's approach and attitude, ultimately, for me, the physical leaving was not the biggest part, but it was a great relief. If you are in danger...Especially, get some support...I wish you well being.
My narc friend moved out this weekend in a manipulation technique. She has no idea I’m not letting her back in my house. I’ve never felt so much relief.
Kat Vond I didn’t do any manipulation. She moved out in an attempt to get me to do something not knowing that I wasn’t going to cave in and just block her. I told her she wasn’t allowed back in the house. Now she’s attempting the silent treatment-sent me a text saying she’s going to have no contact with me for awhile, which is exactly what I wanted anyways.
I had an alcoholic narc roommate that called the cops on me 12 times in month. The final call she made against me ended up with her being arrested. She also assaulted me that day. Bye.
@@tylerbrown6821 Many humans are manipulative, fake, trying to sabotage others out of jealousy, neglectful of their most basic duties in relationships, and cheaters, but NOT ALL HUMANS!
I advise you to not be scared of it, those narcs are gonna face a different and empowered Emma after all the knowledge you have gained in this channel ❤️
I'm a narcissist. I didn't know, never really heard of it. I knew I was different but didn't know it had a name.i don't want to be this way. You videos have helped me immensely. Thank you❤️
The fact your fingers can even type that, is amazing and should give you boat loads of hope to make necessary changes in order to build and maintain healthy bonds and relationships. Self awarenesses is the biggest step.
@@FH-er7us I'm not sure honestly. I just have such a dark, manipulative side. I had a troubled childhood. Was adopted, then those two got a divorce and my mom remarried into an abusive relationship. Not doubt in my mind that any troubles I have stemmed from that. I work on myself daily trying to escape it❤️
my dad was an overt or grandiose narcissist. I met a guy whom I thought was opposite of my dad but later on discovered he was just a covert narcissist! in essence they were both narcissists! so it's absolutely necessary to learn about all types of narcissism to not fall for another type and think it's not what you're escaping from.
Nasim Azad Yup, There are different shades of narcs and different breeds. I was duped by a vulnerable covert cerebral narc who masquerades as the Nice Guy next door, the confirmed bachelor, never married no kids. He plays the victim, down on his luck, sullen 😔 guy who plays on your sympathy. He uses false modesty to fish for compliments, I’m so stupid, old, etc...to get others to lift him up and praise him. Master manipulators who APPEAR as the NICE Guy in public behind closed doors are Mean, nasty, cruel, cold, withholding, punishing, intimidating, scolding, sarcastic, scathing, sadistic, solemn and scheming. He contorts the truth to fit HIS narrative and SMEARS me to mutual friends behind my back to punish me, belittle me, insult me. He humiliated me to my face infront of his family and friends by embarrassing me or setting me up to look bad. He criticizes me with put downs cloaked in “ humor “. He only cares about himself and how others SEE him. Everyone is used as a pawn to manipulate for his gain. He’s a big spender, good tipper in public but cheap day to day, he gives me gifts so he looks like the Good Guy but those gifts come with invisible strings of payback. They own you, will mistreat you and make you feel indebted to him. When they buy you anything, they think they have bought YOU, they own you. There is nothing “ nice “ about him. I was Tricked, deliberately misled, lied to, manipulated and PLAYED. Be cautious of the person who can do no wrong and blames everyone and everything 🚩 They only keep you around to step on while lifting themselves up over you. If someone makes you feel small or insignificant and says they love you, LEAVE!
I know what you mean. I believed for decades that my brother couldn't be a narcissist because he doesn't burst into a room and start shouting about how wonderful he is. He shrugs modestly, blushes, and shyly admits to being the most amazing person ever.
Covert narcs are worst and more deadly than overt. Coverts are silent killers, because you don't know what they are thinking, and assume things are okay. They won't tell you the truth and keep their true feelings hidden. Overts are open, and you are aware of their motives. So, lets give a round of applause to overt narcs. Clap clap
Dr Ramani, I got out of narcissistic relationship recently.. your videos are so comforting and reassuring.. you are a saviour! Thank you for your work.. you are helping so many of us .. just wanted you to know ! :)
@RastaFairy Ann from what you wrote you probably aren't, a therapist would help. what you describe is much more consistent with borderline personality disorder. narcissists will do anything to block any self criticism. calling a narcissist a narcissist is a great way to start a fight, not lead to a moment of self realization. i really don't know what direction to point you in, but but see if anything on borderline resonates more. you also don't need friends that send you videos about being a narcissist, life is a two way street like that.
You might be a part of the problem if you have borderline personality disorder, or what is sometimes called Fleas (bad habits learned from narcissists). If you're willing to look at yourself though, and do serious work to improve, you're probably not a narcissist.
I can't believe how lucky I am to have stumbled across this channel. I've been binge watching your videos and they've been SO helpful in dealing with my narcissistic family members who have gaslit me my entire life. Thank you SO much for making these videos. They've been so valuable in my healing.
I’m surrounded by narcissists (3) and I have always wondered how could they be so heartless. I searched about their personality types for months and finally found out about Narcissism. I’m so glad that I can identify narcissists so that if I meet another one in future , I’ll be able to protect myself. This should be taught in high school for sure.
I am a narcissist, and it's quite awful how everyone in the comments relates the awful people in their lives and discriminates it to everyone else with NPD. Not everyone who has NPD are awful, not to mention NPD is a trait that can't be changed.
Dr. Rama, I am the daughter of a covert narcissist. I have never been able to figure out why I married a malignant narcissist. I always thought I should have known better. I did not realize for many years that there are different types. After 18 years I left my husband and have lived happily ever after since. I am 72 years old. I enjoy your wisdom and relieved at times to realize I eventually got it right! Thank you for taking time to share with us.
Ikr hahaha. It's insane. I thought there were 2. Grandiose and covert. This is way more complex. I have a feeling this is going to get technical. And I hope it is so!!
Black Weirdo oh my gosh! I did not notice the avatar but I thought that the comment was funny and as it turns out it’s my favourite avatar on all of TH-cam! Glad to see you here.
Ashley Thibault I think you have hit the nail on the head metaphorically speaking that is. Someone who lacks empathy and feels entitled in any and every situation is pretty much the definition that we need. Nonetheless, I honour Dr. Ramani for giving us more paths to study.
Even though I'm not religious, you're truely an angel send to educate us all about this disorder. It's an urgent problem that needs to get adressed. It's unfortunate that these beautiful innocent healthy babies are turned into adults with NPD who'll never find happiness. Along the way they harm and emotionally abuse others as well. This problem needs attention, ASAP. Dr. Ramani should be our global NPD CZAR!
Not only that. I have been watching Dr. Ramani’s videos these weeks and sadly, most of the description she gives about the damages the victims receive remind me strongly of the femicides victims in my country (I am from Mexico) and I am sure everyone should gain this knowledge so the victims know they are not the crazy ones, they are now exaggerated, they should know *they are in danger* and run as fast as they can 💔
Seriously! I believe most corrupt leaders have NPD and so many wars have been caused by them, it's so sad to imagine how many lives have been lost to this disease
I cant believe i will be getting this series for free.🙏 Thank you Dr Ramani for the all hardwork you did because of your hardwork and knowledge people like me are healing and gaining knowledge on narcissim which i was not aware before ...
Generational narcissism is pretty much learned behavior. To put it in a basic way it is like living with a smoker and having to inhale second hand smoke.
I appreciate your videos so much. I’ve been watching them for hours and hours lately. Makes me feel so much less alone in healing. Thank you for your consistent uploads, helps more than you know!
Chrissy I’ve had the same experience. Learning about NPD seems to validate the experiences that I had with my ex-N, confirm that I wasn’t “the crazy one” and helps me feel like I have the knowledge to avoid being victimized by NPD people in the future. It’s been very cathartic for me too.
Your videos been instrumental in identifying and helping me understand the type of abuse I've been a victim of throughout my life. Family, partners, friends and co workers. It also helped me understand why years of self help and counselling failed to stop abuse because I wasn't focusing on the right things. Now I understand my own patterns of behaviour that enable narcissists and attract them to me, in conjunction with specialised therapy, I'm finally breaking free and excited about my future. I still have a way to go, but want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
So in order to diagnose them, it seems like they would actually have to feel some guilt for how they’ve behaved... and I honestly don’t think mine even realizes how awful he is. That’s a shame :-/
My son will feel guilt and cry crocodile tears, gets pity, behaves for a little bit and back to his tendencies. I feel even if he got help he could manipulate a therapist. If he ever admits and is remorseful it’s just for us to get over his treatment. Goes ghost for a little bit and comes back around like nothing. So frustrating!
refreshingAnd I met my husband when he was 5 and adopted him when he was 10. My husband didn’t know he had a son until he was 1 and his bio-mom called to tell him he was the father. He took her to court, paid his support and got visitations. When I met his dad, he was neglected by bio-mom and I convinced him to seek full custody and he won. Obviously, do to the neglect on her part. She would have sexual relations in his presence and leave him to care for his other two siblings (by other men). I and my husband gave him a home with love and encouragement. We put him through college but we never do enough. So, yes I believe his first years were a huge factor in who he is today.
Please talk about narcissistic in-laws, especially those who turn their daughter-in-law or son-in-law into the scapegoated villain. While you have definitely covered these topics from the perspective of a toxic parent, an in-law is very subtly different. Thanks for considering this topic. Love your channel!
I was one too! But not any more. Now I'm divorced! Yay! My mother-in-ove even built a house to her daughter to impress me and make me jelous! Now she cannot finish it, too expencive! 😂 I just wasn't falling for her tricks to pull me in. But she was treating me like her scapegoat because I merried her son who was and still is her scalegoat. I just got tired of her games. Even my husband was like an enabler to her treating me badly. Like he ejoyed thay someone else took over his role ! I just gave up. Na. Not my game, not my war. Good bye. :)
I know these videos were put out two years ago, but I just discovered them and I want to thank you for clarifying the different types of narcissists. I was married to a covert narcissist for over 10 years and now my daughter is having to deal with her narcissistic father. He has a cycle where he blows up and then love bombs, he inflicts guilt all the time on her, and continually talks about how his life could’ve been better if things have been different. You nailed it on the head with this covert narcissism. I have shared this video series with my daughter, and I hope that it will help her cope with her father when she visits him. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the public. It is greatly appreciated.
I was waiting for this kind of series for a very long time. Specially the part where we encounter such people at workplace and how to protect ourselves. Thank you Dr. 🙂
I was Raised by an angry narcissist mother. Just found your channel in January I can only consume so much of it. Most of all is getting it to stick in my head so I can understand it. I still have communication problems. To say the least of all the others. Thank you so much I have much gratitude and appreciation for your videos. It’s a great service you’re doing. I guess those of us raised by narcissist know how to serve.👍👍❤️
I'm so excited about this series! people need to be made aware so as to protect themselves. I wish these videos were out when I started therapy. Thank you for doing these videos!
Thank you for the clarification, Dr Ramani! Looking forward to the series. We desperately need this armour in this day and age and you are doing a fabulous job in guiding us. God bless you!
I can't believe how much I have learned from Dr. Ramani. Finally some explanations to the craziness! I am so grateful, I am healing, and it is empowering!! Thank you!
I'm SO glad I watched this particular video. I'm an Autistic and I was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder a while back. I didn't know there was a difference between the 2, and this brings me great comfort that I can continue to grow from this. I hate the things I do and I wish I didn't do them... I can't say it doesn't cause problems for my marriage and family, but most times the problems stim from how I react to myself. Or are presented in self preservation reactions that I have. I'm so thankful I found this channel and will now be looking for videos on how to continue to break these patterns. 💜🖖🏻💜
It is so crazy that there are a whole group of people out there who suffered the same way and have met these types of people. I think this education should happen in early childhood so people know what to look out for. It makes you look back at your life completely differently once you have come to the proverbial light.
I agree. This kind of instruction is especially needed for middle school girls. My generations from the 70s was still programmed to behave as nice girls. Nice girls get destroyed by narcissits.
I was scapegoated but I "inherited" or "adopted" narsacistic traits from my parent. I only realized I was the problem after noticing a pattern of people cutting ties with me. The other factor being how ugly I felt inside when I projected something onto a solid person and it didn't cause them the harm I had intended to. Last but not least it hurt deeply when the same was done to me. Had to face the mirror so I become aware of what could be the problem. I still occassionally struggle with deep shame, inferiority and people pleasing but I'll get there. Work in progress.
Marilyn Larry You are right on! That’s what I’ve been living with too! At first in our marriage he told me I didn’t understand how to be a wife according to Biblical principals, even though I had been brought up in a Southern Baptist Church and went to a Christian College. He set out to teach me how the wife is supposed to be submissive to the husband. Then he would teach me to trust him to control ALL the money, etc. Now 17 years later I realize how I was DUPED! He definitely has all the signs of your typical Covert Narcissist and crossover with some of the other types. But this could be such a deep subject here because they can really use Religion to manipulate. Now I know better! They misinterpret the Bible to make it fit their agenda! Oh my God, huh! I hope Dr Ramani can tackle this subject for us. It might need its own series!
I have spent the last 12 years dealing with a narcissistic family cult. These videos not only make me feel like I am understood, but they help me to understand that I should not feel bad about staying away, and I am NOT at fault. They help me verbalize what I need to in order to keep the flying monkeys at bay. Thank you so much!! You are helping so many people and saving so many marriages! You so appreciated!! ❤️❤️
Dr. Ramani I am so grateful for all your posts I have learned so much about Narcissistic behavior and still learning. It's helped me walk away from my 38 years of marriage. Namaste
Thank you for all the good that you do and teach. Some content that I'm really struggling to find anything about, is how to help children break free from the narcissistic abuse and control. After 5 years of trying to make co-parenting (with my child's narcissistic father) work and also having to deal with the heavy narcissistic input from his mother (my child's grandmother), I found myself having to go completely no contact and completely cutting them off from seeing my son. It's been two years now and things have turned around for the better 20 fold, but at times it feels like they still have control over his behaviour and still have power to use him to hurt me. It's like I am the door, my son is the remote control car and they have hold of the remote, repeatedly smashing him into the door whilst getting great pleasure from it. I always parent his behaviour but with some things it definitely feels like something deeper being fuelled by something the narcissists have instilled into him. Whatever damage has been done, I sometimes work tirelessly to undo - as I have a lovely, good natured little boy (aged 12) - but there are a couple of things left that I feel I don't have the right knowledge about to be able to overcome them. And can't find that knowledge. If there is any content you are able to put out on this subject, it'd be deeply appreciated.
I love how Dr. Ramani explains things. She's funny and not boring!! She has givin me the drive to go back to school. The way she explains things just sticks like glue in my brain. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with people. That's what people sometimes need to get interested in going back to school. It did for. Thank you
Love the series that you have shared with all of us laymen. It has help in my personal healing and understanding of toxic people, and the techniques people use to manipulate.
My narcissist also has delusional thoughts that become reality in her mind. Is that part of narcissism or something else? Stress can bring this about, but often it comes on when she feels someone is usurping her power.
My ex did that too, or make believe a scenario and it's not what happened. Paranoia, misinformation and adding their past some how into the situation. I think it's projecting and they are feeling that they are mistreated.
Thank you,for creating and sharing content which becomes a safe space,to recover, re- centre and to hear a voice of reason,which is so helpful,in the face of gaslightig or other forms of abuse from a narcissist...even even a group of narcissists. I wonder how many lives your content has saved? Probably more than you fathom.
Did not even know any of this existed until my husband cheated and left. I thought it was me, until I came across this type of information. It's validating and a time when I feel powerless and have been made to feel crazy and worthless. Thank you
I've been waiting for this. 🙈😳 I am in the process of coming to terms with my "wounds". I have survived a marriage to a narcissist (luckily no children) and knew that he was an "updated version" of my "dominant mom"...but it took me a hot minute to realize my mom's behavior also falls into the narcissistic spectrum but is very much different from my husband's...I cannot wait until I get the right vocabulary to understand and organize my experiences for me in my own head, maybe a few tools how to cope with the ones I cannot avoid in life and...enough knowledge to do right by my own child now.
These videos have been so helpful. I was in a 20-year marriage to a mixed type (grandiose, covert and neglectful, depending on the situation - a very skilled and tricky person) who nearly destroyed my life. I was vulnerable to his love-bombing because my mom was a neglectful narcissist toward me, though my sibling was a golden child. I was able to rid myself of a covert narcissist "best friend" who would think I was the best person on earth and then angrily turn on me - I quit providing narcissist supply and she faded away. And then there was the confusing benign narcissist that is easy to deal with by simply lowering expectations. Thanks so much for providing such valuable information.
7 types of narcissists.. 7 signs of the apocalypse. Just sayin.. 😂 well done survivors, keep on going! You're not alone in your suffering. Great video yet again!
Dr. Ramani, I am just in awe of your knowledge and how well you impart this knowledge to the general public so we are better able to understand the topics discussed. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! It is so appreciated.
I remember reading about a "cerebral" narcissist. It's someone who thinks very highly of their own intelligence.. it fit in very well with my ex best friend. Would love to hear more about that type. Thanks dr. Ramani!!
I am learning so much from Dr. Ramani. This channel is helping to realize that some members of my family just can't help themselves. I should remove myself from them and stop taking their lack of empathy, hate, and lack of taking responsibility for their actions.
Wow seven different types ? That is just insane, I’m already scared to even meet and date anyone because of the relationships I’ve encountered with these twisted people. Not to mention I was born into a family full of them mother and father grandmother, etc. something needs to be done to get these people help, they are damaging people who love and care for them.
I’ve realized through your teachings… My father was overt and my mother covert narcissist…. Consequently I grew up very controlled and now struggle with emotional regulation… and Cptsd Working through it by learning mote and desiring to change fir the betterment of self and relationships going forward We can’t change our pasts, but we can change for a better future.. thank you for being brave enough to bring this awareness … ..
Dear Dr. Ramani, First of all I'd like to thank you for all your content. It has been eye-opening. Your channel was recommended to me by a friend who's a therapist in training. I've very recently broken up a 4 years relationship with someone who seems to be a narcissist. To be honest I didn't know exactly what to call his "condition" before. I was even mistaking it for sociopathy, and although I'm not an expert to diagnose either way, I could tell that there was something wrong from very early on in the relationship. It had it all, the huge excitement in the beginning, emotional roller coasters, gaslight, diminishing my reality and my values, you name it. But before these series I couldn't put a finger on it. However I do have some questions. So on one side, this felt utterly real to me, and I'm very much heart broken (even though I was the one who initiated the break up). My question is did he ever have actual "feelings" towards me? Even if that was in his distorted way. Basically, can a narcissist feel love towards someone, or is it just a possessive situation, and putting the other person on a pedestal till they grow tired of it? I do not want him back or anything. I've had my share. But I'd like to know. Thank you in advance
I am binge watching all of these videos because I’m currently trapped at home with my bpd mom and narc father, I’m trying not to lose my sanity after gaining my voice and visibility after so many years of being neglected and forgotten.
Dr you are so spot on! I was a psych RN for many years. I recently lost my Father aged 90 who was a narc and absent father you could never need. The problem is when a narc dies, and you review their life and their role of diminishing your personhood their entire life. I could not say goodbye at the end because there was nothing to miss. You are left with no good memories or feelings about someone who always treated you unmercilously. I forgive him for living so selfishly and never experiencing love or connection. Could you please speak about when your abuser Narc dies and lack of closure. TY you are awesome Doc!
DR. RAMANI, Thank You so much 💓 for your help and work. I am a Narcissistic Magnet and you have been helping me come to terms with and notice the Red Flags 🚩 in my life. You have helped me leave a toxic relationship and find the person who I was meant to be with🎉❤ I really can't Thank you enough
Glad I found this! I laughed because it is so accurate. I walked away from one and I lost everything getting myself involved but I saved my sanity.. For awhile I started questioning my mental state so much I had to see a therapist who after a few sessions assured me I am not Crazy!! Lol but al of what’s said in video ✅✅
My therapist sent me your videos. I was living with a malignant narcissist for many years and the trauma is so deep. Thankful for your video series as help. 🥰
I was diagnosed with NPD a few days ago. I will be more than happy to add my two cents on the matter based on my own experiences. I am highly researched in this field in particular.
Spill the tea. I'd love to hear your experience. I just got out of a relationship with someone at least with the behaviors. Maybe not the diagnosis. But who knows.
@@missymartin8125 I had my diagnosis reassessed, found not to be symptomatic of the PD, but I no longer work with that therapist. I'm with another who has experience with Cluster B though, and he agrees more with the first therapist's assessment. I have decided against a formal diagnosis with him for many reasons, but we're talking as if I do have NPD - treatment is similar to depression and PTSD, and I recommended schema therapy for my case in particular due to most of my disorder stemming from conscious schema in my head.
thank you Dr.Ramani. I wish that this was taught in school. I came across your videos when I was desperate to understand what was going on in my last relationship. I have learned so much through you and I am able to listen to what I hear and see from others. I can now call a spade a spade rather than ignore what I see because I am no longer confused. It has taking me a long time to unravel from the where I was. Thank you, your videos were a mind saver and I am so grateful. Namaste
doctor Ramani, sometimes I just want to hug you and thank you :) I can't wait for these series, this information is so empowering! and I love your intelligent, thorough and honest approach. keep up the good work!
He CONSTANTLY says that I'm not a Therapist so STOP diagnosing him. I'm so glad you addressed that this is a descriptive term. That I am valid in my observation.
I would love information about how to raise my 12 year old daughter when 50% of her time is with her Grandiose narcissistic father. Any suggestions for neutralizing his teachings?
Hi Jennifer😊My father is a covert narcissist and mom is an empath. I had some emotional fluctuations during my adolescence and adulthood. My mom has been always supported me with unconditional love, affection, empathy. She never judged me or accused me due to my wrong deeds, choices, never compared me to other children. My mom is my harbour🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻Please get as much as information about that case from various sources because mother is the most important figure in the child's life and never get hopeless during bad times 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Sooner or later she will realize that something is out of tune about her father. Real love, affection, trust and empathy always win😊
Thank you Dr Ramani. I have been victimized by Narcissists, and unfortunately I too have caused problems for others due to my own narcissistic tendencies. The content that you are providing, is teaching me to be more thoughtful.
Cruelty angry self loathing master manipulators. Sadly I have a daughter with it. Is it genetic. Dad had it too. The actual disorder. Nt traits or patterns.
You are the Truth, I’ve been waiting for this topic to become widely talked about. After years of counseling and thousands of dollars and divorce, loss of children and family. I had to walk away from this destruction. Thank you for the confirmation
I would love to hear about covert narcissists. I can't tell if someone close to me is or isn't one. Your information is so very helpful - thank you so much!
THANK YOU! It’s almost like the minute you mention narcissism, you are dismissed because YOU aren’t the professional. Thank you for validating that. If anyone has has had this problem, seek a new therapist. ❤️
I have been checking your videos out for a while, my sister had told me a while back my mom was a Narc. but, I see it in her too. you have made it so clear now. My whole family walked out of my life. I do hate being alone. I do understand it is the best for my health.
My ex was a narcissist but he wasn't jelous at all. If anything, he encouraged me to socialise with my friends. He replaced me with no closure whatsoever. I'm confused.
@@RachyNoodleNest Ah, my ex was super possessive. So much so that if I told her about my day at work and my story had the name of a female co-worker in it, she would question me about my co-worker so aggressively that I felt like a suspect in an interrogation. She once even logged onto my social media account and blew a fuse at me for wishing a close friend of mine a happy birthday. When I confronted her about the breach of privacy and insisted that she had completely misread the situation, she specifically told me that she wasn't going to apologize.
@Gordon Fornow The thing that is really standing out for me is our boundaries are too weak. If they are rude, you can say, that's it...goodbye. You might give a 2nd chance, again if it happens again we need to listen to that. The mistake is giving chance after chance after chance and then when it's over we are riddled with all sorts of things we have to deal with. Cut toxic people off, from the get go. Protect yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
Wow, that was quite a bit of info thrown out there, I genuinely always thought that there's just one type that I like to call jerks! Now to find out there's 7 types, that's a bit overwhelming to say the least! But, I have been learning so much from these videos and I am thankful for how much insight these videos have provided. ✊💪🤗
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In family situations, the entire family is usually in therapy EXCEPT the narcissist. You hit the nail on the head again!
@Jas Mac as I am experiencing with my mother , she probably thinks that she is manipulating her therapist. That’s why she is excited. For them is just about a game of controlling.
@Jas Mac I'm excited about therapy because I know it'll help soothe my anxiety. Wtf is with the absurd jumping?
@Jas Mac Jumping to conclusions.*
Narcissists don't try to be friends with their therapists, in fact, they're quite avoidant of therapy because they know they'll probably be found out.
A person could want to be friends/all friendly with their therapist for many reasons. Like, someone with BPD, for example. It could be rooted out of core loneliness.
@@bunilleactually, the only one doing the “jumping” here is you!!...
Not sure what’s got you so triggered. But you’re jumping down her throat for literally sharing HER experience and HER truth with HER Mom. Of whom she knows better than anyone. So she certainly doesn’t have to jump to conclusions...she’s living it!!
And since when are we making blanket statements about Narcs?...Everyone knows no two are the same. Furthermore, I don’t think you’re speaking accurately at all.
In fact, I’d be willing to bet there are just as many Narcs if not MORE, who’d be more than willing to go to Therapy and yes, absolutely try to befriend the Therapist as well. This is 100% what it’s all about for the Narc!!!....
The game the chase, the manipulation, the opportunity to prove the healthy person wrong, winning over the therapist, soliciting/gaining of sympathy, etc etc.
I know my delusional ass Narc Mother (along with plenty others I’m sure), would be lining up at the door.
Are you kidding me?...
This would be HER MOMENT; she’d be loving every min of it. UNTIL she felt she was being challenged , held accountable or uncomfortable in any way. It would be a wrap & she’d drop that Therapist in a heartbeat if things weren’t going her way.
Idk...I just kind this to me sounds far more consistent with the behavior of a Narcissist, than wanting to befriend a Therapist out of “loneliness”. That doesn’t make sense to me.
@@krissymichele You really do sound like a narc deflecting with all of your intentional emotive language and millions of capitals to manipulate people's thoughts while also attacking me and everyone who you don't like, but oh well.~
Did you not watch the video? You can't diagnose someone just because you don't like them lmfao, go off.
Ditto for you. You'd also love every minute of it until you're being held accountable, and you'd deny and deflect and blame everyone else if things weren't going the way you wanted it to. Man...
Of course, loneliness and seeking comfort in your therapist doesn't make sense to you. You're the uneducated one and you just admitted it by saying that. You know nothing about personality disorders yet claim you do. You sound like a narc yourself pushing it onto everyone else, blaming them for getting kindness in therapy because they definitely cannot find kindness in your narc self. Please educate yourself about PDs better before you start yelling at me.
Oh, and the gaslighting you're doing along with the deflection. Jeez. Can you look at yourself in the mirror and realise the one being triggered is you?
Is being mature and respectful impossible for you when admitting your so-called "truths"? You can be truthful without insulting everyone you dislike, y'know.
One “hack” I use with narcissists is being very shallow with them. I talk about mundane things like weather, etc. I never tell them anything about myself or my family that is meaningful, deep, or serious. My mom is a narcissist and she always finds a way to use the information against me. I have learned to zip my lip! Which is unfortunate because we don’t have that mother-daughter relationship that everyone longs for. Instead, we have a surface and civil relationship.
I need to develop this skill
Did the same thing with my father toward the end before I cut off the relationship. He always tried to get all the life details out of me when I'd come to visit him and I'd just either be very mum or just change the subject to something in the news. Used to irritate him so much, lol.
I’m nervous about trying this with my mom as it’s an easy conversation when she talks about herself but I hate it when she badmouths people I don’t know how to divert the conversation without getting emotionally involved
That's the 'grey rock' strategy. And well done you!
@@jc_80 One thing I do when my mom starts in is just shrug and show little interest...is she tries to get me to co-sign her BS, I just say 'i dunno" and become very boring. It works for me, but then she sets her sites on my siblings. Best of luck to you!
7 species of narc :
1 grandiose
2 covert
3 communal
4 generational
5 benign
6 malignant
7 hybrid
Thank you for this👍
Caroline Laronda, I hope this gets pinned.
Caroline Laronda - The hybrid is the most dangerous in my mind. You really never know what’s gonna hit you at any given time!
Thank you!
That's alot !
By the time she’s saying “Hi everyone I am Dr. Ramani”, I’m already liking the video. I already know it’s gonna be gold as always.
Haha me too!!😂
All true haha
Same
I understand it may not be feasible , but if it is could you do subtitles in Spanish?
Haha right!?
After 37 years I finally realized with the help of my therapist that i was married to a narcissist who had robbed me of my identity and self worth. Finally, last year I gathered enough strength to walked out on him with absolutely zero regrets.
Thumbs up for u! I know its not easy. Im going through the same wt my husband. I just keep giving chance for him but nothing change so far. U r so brave.
Go you. that is SO AWESOME xx
👍👏👏👏👏👏
@@dyas932 That's such a problem...can waste Many years....waiting for another person to "change". You're right, courage is necessary, to do the work (with professional support) to change the only one we can...that's right...ourselves. It's the best thing ever! It does require being willing to feel the pain of disillusionment about what we hoped certain people could be in our life. But becoming friends with ourself, becoming real about our expectations of others, can't recommend this enough. (note* leaving can be done in stages, from the inside, in one's approach and attitude, ultimately, for me, the physical leaving was not the biggest part, but it was a great relief. If you are in danger...Especially, get some support...I wish you well being.
37 years! I’m still stuck too, 31 yrs !!I hope I have enough strength to leave too.
My narc friend moved out this weekend in a manipulation technique. She has no idea I’m not letting her back in my house. I’ve never felt so much relief.
How did u manipulate her to move out?
Kat Vond I didn’t do any manipulation. She moved out in an attempt to get me to do something not knowing that I wasn’t going to cave in and just block her. I told her she wasn’t allowed back in the house. Now she’s attempting the silent treatment-sent me a text saying she’s going to have no contact with me for awhile, which is exactly what I wanted anyways.
I had an alcoholic narc roommate that called the cops on me 12 times in month. The final call she made against me ended up with her being arrested. She also assaulted me that day. Bye.
Purple 23 thank you! 🙂
Many congratulations I know the feeling..last month I unfollowed one narc friend of mine she unfollowed me back.. whatta relief🙏
This needs to be taught in the high schools to teach the young so they can avoid making big mistakes when coming in contact with these types
Maryann Petri,you are absolutely right
Facts 💯
Yes must be taught in schools too
It's spiritual...it needs to be taught at home or thru a good church..hard too find now a days
💯
Now I'm scared for quarantine to end. I don't want to go back to the real world and have to face narcissists again 😫
I am stuck with them at home unfortunately
@Jacqueline Filo same.
Guys too. It's scary 😓
Humans, oh no!
@@tylerbrown6821 Many humans are manipulative, fake, trying to sabotage others out of jealousy, neglectful of their most basic duties in relationships, and cheaters, but NOT ALL HUMANS!
I advise you to not be scared of it, those narcs are gonna face a different and empowered Emma after all the knowledge you have gained in this channel ❤️
Where would I be without Dr. Ramani?
🌷🌹🥰☺❤🌳🌻⭐🌼🌟🌤🌞☀️
in no man's land, like me
dead 💀
Yes !! I feel so blessed to have her in my life !!
You would be still on earth
@@rachelsimbhu4383 if youtube is your life .
I'm a narcissist. I didn't know, never really heard of it. I knew I was different but didn't know it had a name.i don't want to be this way. You videos have helped me immensely. Thank you❤️
You sound too self aware to be a narcissist to me. Most narcissistic people I’ve met are so grandiose they love being the way they are.
Maybe borderline personality disorder.
The fact your fingers can even type that, is amazing and should give you boat loads of hope to make necessary changes in order to build and maintain healthy bonds and relationships. Self awarenesses is the biggest step.
Dear are you a narcissist or a victim of a narcissist who gaslighted you into thinking that?
@@FH-er7us I'm not sure honestly. I just have such a dark, manipulative side. I had a troubled childhood. Was adopted, then those two got a divorce and my mom remarried into an abusive relationship. Not doubt in my mind that any troubles I have stemmed from that. I work on myself daily trying to escape it❤️
my dad was an overt or grandiose narcissist. I met a guy whom I thought was opposite of my dad but later on discovered he was just a covert narcissist! in essence they were both narcissists! so it's absolutely necessary to learn about all types of narcissism to not fall for another type and think it's not what you're escaping from.
Nasim Azad same happened to me!!!!😒
Nasim Azad
Yup,
There are different shades of narcs and different breeds. I was duped by a vulnerable covert cerebral narc who masquerades as the Nice Guy next door, the confirmed bachelor, never married no kids.
He plays the victim, down on his luck, sullen 😔 guy who plays on your sympathy. He uses false modesty to fish for compliments, I’m so stupid, old, etc...to get others to lift him up and praise him. Master manipulators who APPEAR as the NICE Guy in public behind closed doors are Mean, nasty, cruel, cold, withholding, punishing, intimidating, scolding, sarcastic, scathing, sadistic, solemn and scheming.
He contorts the truth to fit HIS narrative and SMEARS me to mutual friends behind my back to punish me, belittle me, insult me. He humiliated me to my face infront of his family and friends by embarrassing me or setting me up to look bad. He criticizes me with put downs cloaked in “ humor “. He only cares about himself and how others SEE him. Everyone is used as a pawn to manipulate for his gain. He’s a big spender, good tipper in public but cheap day to day, he gives me gifts so he looks like the Good Guy but those gifts come with invisible strings of payback. They own you, will mistreat you and make you feel indebted to him. When they buy you anything, they think they have bought YOU, they own you. There is nothing
“ nice “ about him. I was Tricked, deliberately misled, lied to, manipulated and PLAYED.
Be cautious of the person who can do no wrong and blames everyone and everything 🚩 They only keep you around to step on while lifting themselves up over you. If someone makes you feel small or insignificant and says they love you, LEAVE!
I know what you mean. I believed for decades that my brother couldn't be a narcissist because he doesn't burst into a room and start shouting about how wonderful he is. He shrugs modestly, blushes, and shyly admits to being the most amazing person ever.
@@phoenixrising8007 Oh my! you exactly described my ex! How they can be so similar! it's like they come out of the same factory!
Covert narcs are worst and more deadly than overt. Coverts are silent killers, because you don't know what they are thinking, and assume things are okay. They won't tell you the truth and keep their true feelings hidden. Overts are open, and you are aware of their motives. So, lets give a round of applause to overt narcs. Clap clap
Dr Ramani, I got out of narcissistic relationship recently.. your videos are so comforting and reassuring.. you are a saviour! Thank you for your work.. you are helping so many of us .. just wanted you to know ! :)
@RastaFairy Ann from what you wrote you probably aren't, a therapist would help. what you describe is much more consistent with borderline personality disorder. narcissists will do anything to block any self criticism. calling a narcissist a narcissist is a great way to start a fight, not lead to a moment of self realization. i really don't know what direction to point you in, but but see if anything on borderline resonates more. you also don't need friends that send you videos about being a narcissist, life is a two way street like that.
I am in the process of getting out a marriage that I believe is narcissistic. I am watching this series to get more info
@RastaFairy Ann how do u hurt ppl ? What do u do or say ? If I get to know more clearly maybe I can help 🙃
@RastaFairy Ann Get some help for yourself. These videos cannot substitute for that.
I'd love a video on 'Am I the narcissist?' because I always feel like maybe I'm the bad guy causing all the trouble
I think doctor Ramani already has such a video. Go through her library.
@@anastasiayatsenuk She doesn't have such a video.
It is a tactic of the narc to make YOU the problem. DONT BELIEVE IT!!! Setting boundaries and having your own beliefs is Not narcissism. Bless you!
To me, the fact that you are concerned about says you probably are not. They never believe they are the problem or at fault.
You might be a part of the problem if you have borderline personality disorder, or what is sometimes called Fleas (bad habits learned from narcissists). If you're willing to look at yourself though, and do serious work to improve, you're probably not a narcissist.
I can't believe how lucky I am to have stumbled across this channel. I've been binge watching your videos and they've been SO helpful in dealing with my narcissistic family members who have gaslit me my entire life. Thank you SO much for making these videos. They've been so valuable in my healing.
I’m surrounded by narcissists (3) and I have always wondered how could they be so heartless. I searched about their personality types for months and finally found out about Narcissism. I’m so glad that I can identify narcissists so that if I meet another one in future , I’ll be able to protect myself. This should be taught in high school for sure.
Teachers may be also nacicisists lol 😂
it is really hard to notice narcicists, having narciscist traits is not the same as having narcicism
I am a narcissist, and it's quite awful how everyone in the comments relates the awful people in their lives and discriminates it to everyone else with NPD. Not everyone who has NPD are awful, not to mention NPD is a trait that can't be changed.
Dr. Rama, I am the daughter of a covert narcissist. I have never been able to figure out why I married a malignant narcissist. I always thought I should have known better. I did not realize for many years that there are different types. After 18 years I left my husband and have lived happily ever after since. I am 72 years old. I enjoy your wisdom and relieved at times to realize I eventually got it right! Thank you for taking time to share with us.
Oh my there are *7* types?? I can’t keep up haha one of them is confusing enough but awareness is good
cat sameeee
Ikr hahaha. It's insane. I thought there were 2. Grandiose and covert. This is way more complex. I have a feeling this is going to get technical. And I hope it is so!!
Black Weirdo oh my gosh! I did not notice the avatar but I thought that the comment was funny and as it turns out it’s my favourite avatar on all of TH-cam! Glad to see you here.
I thought the same thing. One narcissist is bad enough. But 7?! Holy crap!!
Ashley Thibault I think you have hit the nail on the head metaphorically speaking that is. Someone who lacks empathy and feels entitled in any and every situation is pretty much the definition that we need. Nonetheless, I honour Dr. Ramani for giving us more paths to study.
Even though I'm not religious, you're truely an angel send to educate us all about this disorder. It's an urgent problem that needs to get adressed. It's unfortunate that these beautiful innocent healthy babies are turned into adults with NPD who'll never find happiness. Along the way they harm and emotionally abuse others as well. This problem needs attention, ASAP. Dr. Ramani should be our global NPD CZAR!
Not only that. I have been watching Dr. Ramani’s videos these weeks and sadly, most of the description she gives about the damages the victims receive remind me strongly of the femicides victims in my country (I am from Mexico) and I am sure everyone should gain this knowledge so the victims know they are not the crazy ones, they are now exaggerated, they should know *they are in danger* and run as fast as they can 💔
Seriously! I believe most corrupt leaders have NPD and so many wars have been caused by them, it's so sad to imagine how many lives have been lost to this disease
I cant believe i will be getting this series for free.🙏
Thank you Dr Ramani for the all hardwork you did because of your hardwork and knowledge people like me are healing and gaining knowledge on narcissim which i was not aware before ...
I’ve never heard of generational/cultural narcissism. I want to learn about that! Knowledge is power
Indian people have cultural narcissism. Middle Eastern folk too.
The Japanese are another example. They think VERY highly of themselves as a nation and culture.
Generational narcissism is pretty much learned behavior. To put it in a basic way it is like living with a smoker and having to inhale second hand smoke.
Trust me, you don't want it....🤦🤣
I appreciate your videos so much. I’ve been watching them for hours and hours lately. Makes me feel so much less alone in healing. Thank you for your consistent uploads, helps more than you know!
Same! A life saver these past 7 weeks.
Chrissy I’ve had the same experience. Learning about NPD seems to validate the experiences that I had with my ex-N, confirm that I wasn’t “the crazy one” and helps me feel like I have the knowledge to avoid being victimized by NPD people in the future. It’s been very cathartic for me too.
Your videos been instrumental in identifying and helping me understand the type of abuse I've been a victim of throughout my life. Family, partners, friends and co workers. It also helped me understand why years of self help and counselling failed to stop abuse because I wasn't focusing on the right things. Now I understand my own patterns of behaviour that enable narcissists and attract them to me, in conjunction with specialised therapy, I'm finally breaking free and excited about my future. I still have a way to go, but want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Nadine Whittome, you don't deserve to be with a narcissist!
Thank you for this. I've married and divorced 2 narcissists. They were very different, which left me confused.
You work is amazing and I am FINALLY starting to understand my life, my trauma and how I can heal from it all. Thank you. Please never stop sharing.
So in order to diagnose them, it seems like they would actually have to feel some guilt for how they’ve behaved... and I honestly don’t think mine even realizes how awful he is. That’s a shame :-/
They really need to change the guidelines
My exact question!!! It makes no sense😳
My son will feel guilt and cry crocodile tears, gets pity, behaves for a little bit and back to his tendencies.
I feel even if he got help he could manipulate a therapist.
If he ever admits and is remorseful it’s just for us to get over his treatment. Goes ghost for a little bit and comes back around like nothing.
So frustrating!
Pera I wonder what role his parents/upbringing might have had in his behavior.
refreshingAnd I met my husband when he was 5 and adopted him when he was 10.
My husband didn’t know he had a son until he was 1 and his bio-mom called to tell him he was the father. He took her to court, paid his support and got visitations. When I met his dad, he was neglected by bio-mom and I convinced him to seek full custody and he won. Obviously, do to the neglect on her part.
She would have sexual relations in his presence and leave him to care for his other two siblings (by other men).
I and my husband gave him a home with love and encouragement. We put him through college but we never do enough.
So, yes I believe his first years were a huge factor in who he is today.
I love how she speaks to us like we are intelligent
tracy taylor,your pretty smile can make the news
@@lioydwilliams1850 wow what a super nice comment! thank you!
@@tracytaylor3836 you are welcome my dear.I am Lioyd from the States.You?
@@tracytaylor3836 which country are you from?
Please talk about narcissistic in-laws, especially those who turn their daughter-in-law or son-in-law into the scapegoated villain. While you have definitely covered these topics from the perspective of a toxic parent, an in-law is very subtly different. Thanks for considering this topic. Love your channel!
YES. Please do a video on this.
Yes - Yes - YES!!! I would LOVE to learn more about this!! ❤
Yes! I'm currently that scapegoated villain. My in-laws treat me awful.
Yes please.
I was one too! But not any more. Now I'm divorced! Yay! My mother-in-ove even built a house to her daughter to impress me and make me jelous! Now she cannot finish it, too expencive! 😂 I just wasn't falling for her tricks to pull me in. But she was treating me like her scapegoat because I merried her son who was and still is her scalegoat. I just got tired of her games. Even my husband was like an enabler to her treating me badly. Like he ejoyed thay someone else took over his role ! I just gave up. Na. Not my game, not my war. Good bye. :)
I know these videos were put out two years ago, but I just discovered them and I want to thank you for clarifying the different types of narcissists. I was married to a covert narcissist for over 10 years and now my daughter is having to deal with her narcissistic father. He has a cycle where he blows up and then love bombs, he inflicts guilt all the time on her, and continually talks about how his life could’ve been better if things have been different. You nailed it on the head with this covert narcissism. I have shared this video series with my daughter, and I hope that it will help her cope with her father when she visits him. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the public. It is greatly appreciated.
I was waiting for this kind of series for a very long time. Specially the part where we encounter such people at workplace and how to protect ourselves. Thank you Dr. 🙂
I was Raised by an angry narcissist mother. Just found your channel in January I can only consume so much of it. Most of all is getting it to stick in my head so I can understand it. I still have communication problems. To say the least of all the others. Thank you so much I have much gratitude and appreciation for your videos. It’s a great service you’re doing. I guess those of us raised by narcissist know how to serve.👍👍❤️
I'm so excited about this series! people need to be made aware so as to protect themselves. I wish these videos were out when I started therapy. Thank you for doing these videos!
Carissa Booyse, you got a lovely smile
There are so many therapist out here in YT but I just can’t get enough of Dr. Ramani since the day I first saw one of her video. I’ve been binging.
Thank you for the clarification, Dr Ramani! Looking forward to the series. We desperately need this armour in this day and age and you are doing a fabulous job in guiding us. God bless you!
I can't believe how much I have learned from Dr. Ramani. Finally some explanations to the craziness!
I am so grateful, I am healing, and it is empowering!! Thank you!
I'm SO glad I watched this particular video. I'm an Autistic and I was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder a while back. I didn't know there was a difference between the 2, and this brings me great comfort that I can continue to grow from this. I hate the things I do and I wish I didn't do them... I can't say it doesn't cause problems for my marriage and family, but most times the problems stim from how I react to myself. Or are presented in self preservation reactions that I have. I'm so thankful I found this channel and will now be looking for videos on how to continue to break these patterns. 💜🖖🏻💜
It is so crazy that there are a whole group of people out there who suffered the same way and have met these types of people.
I think this education should happen in early childhood so people know what to look out for. It makes you look back at your life completely differently once you have come to the proverbial light.
I agree. This kind of instruction is especially needed for middle school girls. My generations from the 70s was still programmed to behave as nice girls. Nice girls get destroyed by narcissits.
Thank you Dr. Ramani for distinguishing these 7 types of narcissist. It's good to know what we're dealing with! Wisdom is powerful!! ❤🙌
I was scapegoated but I "inherited" or "adopted" narsacistic traits from my parent. I only realized I was the problem after noticing a pattern of people cutting ties with me. The other factor being how ugly I felt inside when I projected something onto a solid person and it didn't cause them the harm I had intended to. Last but not least it hurt deeply when the same was done to me. Had to face the mirror so I become aware of what could be the problem.
I still occassionally struggle with deep shame, inferiority and people pleasing but I'll get there.
Work in progress.
Glad you are growing
D.r Ramini, I would like to learn more about a religious-type narcissist.
YES!!!!! Please this is the one I would love to know more about
Spirituality narcissists also.
Yaaas
Marilyn Larry You are right on! That’s what I’ve been living with too! At first in our marriage he told me I didn’t understand how to be a wife according to Biblical principals, even though I had been brought up in a Southern Baptist Church and went to a Christian College. He set out to teach me how the wife is supposed to be submissive to the husband. Then he would teach me to trust him to control ALL the money, etc. Now 17 years later I realize how I was DUPED! He definitely has all the signs of your typical Covert Narcissist and crossover with some of the other types. But this could be such a deep subject here because they can really use Religion to manipulate. Now I know better! They misinterpret the Bible to make it fit their agenda! Oh my God, huh! I hope Dr Ramani can tackle this subject for us. It might need its own series!
They use religion to manipulate and control you.
I have spent the last 12 years dealing with a narcissistic family cult. These videos not only make me feel like I am understood, but they help me to understand that I should not feel bad about staying away, and I am NOT at fault. They help me verbalize what I need to in order to keep the flying monkeys at bay. Thank you so much!! You are helping so many people and saving so many marriages! You so appreciated!! ❤️❤️
Enjoyed this video and prayed for you Mom, may she recover very soon 💜
Thank you!!!
I want to say, "Thank you," It's a good refresher for me. You are very thorough, clear, and concise in your presentation.
I can't wait. I'm so glad you explaine everything so clear.
Dr. Ramani I am so grateful for all your posts I have learned so much about Narcissistic behavior and still learning. It's helped me walk away from my 38 years of marriage. Namaste
Thank you for all the good that you do and teach.
Some content that I'm really struggling to find anything about, is how to help children break free from the narcissistic abuse and control. After 5 years of trying to make co-parenting (with my child's narcissistic father) work and also having to deal with the heavy narcissistic input from his mother (my child's grandmother), I found myself having to go completely no contact and completely cutting them off from seeing my son.
It's been two years now and things have turned around for the better 20 fold, but at times it feels like they still have control over his behaviour and still have power to use him to hurt me. It's like I am the door, my son is the remote control car and they have hold of the remote, repeatedly smashing him into the door whilst getting great pleasure from it. I always parent his behaviour but with some things it definitely feels like something deeper being fuelled by something the narcissists have instilled into him.
Whatever damage has been done, I sometimes work tirelessly to undo - as I have a lovely, good natured little boy (aged 12) - but there are a couple of things left that I feel I don't have the right knowledge about to be able to overcome them. And can't find that knowledge.
If there is any content you are able to put out on this subject, it'd be deeply appreciated.
I love how Dr. Ramani explains things. She's funny and not boring!! She has givin me the drive to go back to school. The way she explains things just sticks like glue in my brain. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with people. That's what people sometimes need to get interested in going back to school. It did for. Thank you
Love the series that you have shared with all of us laymen.
It has help in my personal healing and understanding of toxic people, and the techniques people use to manipulate.
Awareness is empowerment.
You are empowering us and grateful for your journey to open our level of understanding and level of consciousness.
Monique Seguin,your pretty smile can make the news!
Thanks, Doc. ❤
You're really helping me figure this all out. As an empath these tools strengthen my arsenal. Looking forward to the series.
AmberP,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist....
After breaking up with my bf, I found comfort in this video, no one seems to know what am talking about
My narcissist also has delusional thoughts that become reality in her mind. Is that part of narcissism or something else? Stress can bring this about, but often it comes on when she feels someone is usurping her power.
My dad does that too.
My ex did that too, or make believe a scenario and it's not what happened. Paranoia, misinformation and adding their past some how into the situation. I think it's projecting and they are feeling that they are mistreated.
Sounds like my sister.
Don't forget the cerebral narcissist.
From what I'm learning, thank you Dr. Ramani, mine was a hybrid........
Thank you,for creating and sharing content which becomes a safe space,to recover, re- centre and to hear a voice of reason,which is so helpful,in the face of gaslightig or other forms of abuse from a narcissist...even even a group of narcissists.
I wonder how many lives your content has saved?
Probably more than you fathom.
Did not even know any of this existed until my husband cheated and left. I thought it was me, until I came across this type of information. It's validating and a time when I feel powerless and have been made to feel crazy and worthless. Thank you
Michelle Hoffman, you deserve better
Can’t wait to learn more about different types of narcissistic people, so happy Dr. Ramani is doing it 🙏🏼🌸
Dr Ramani, you are a gift. Thank you for your persistence & generosity. You are a true Thearpist, one who cares about all of us.
I've been waiting for this. 🙈😳 I am in the process of coming to terms with my "wounds". I have survived a marriage to a narcissist (luckily no children) and knew that he was an "updated version" of my "dominant mom"...but it took me a hot minute to realize my mom's behavior also falls into the narcissistic spectrum but is very much different from my husband's...I cannot wait until I get the right vocabulary to understand and organize my experiences for me in my own head, maybe a few tools how to cope with the ones I cannot avoid in life and...enough knowledge to do right by my own child now.
These videos have been so helpful. I was in a 20-year marriage to a mixed type (grandiose, covert and neglectful, depending on the situation - a very skilled and tricky person) who nearly destroyed my life. I was vulnerable to his love-bombing because my mom was a neglectful narcissist toward me, though my sibling was a golden child. I was able to rid myself of a covert narcissist "best friend" who would think I was the best person on earth and then angrily turn on me - I quit providing narcissist supply and she faded away. And then there was the confusing benign narcissist that is easy to deal with by simply lowering expectations. Thanks so much for providing such valuable information.
7 types of narcissists.. 7 signs of the apocalypse. Just sayin.. 😂 well done survivors, keep on going! You're not alone in your suffering. Great video yet again!
Dr. Ramani, I am just in awe of your knowledge and how well you impart this knowledge to the general public so we are better able to understand the topics discussed. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! It is so appreciated.
I remember reading about a "cerebral" narcissist. It's someone who thinks very highly of their own intelligence.. it fit in very well with my ex best friend. Would love to hear more about that type. Thanks dr. Ramani!!
I would
@@dontbelongherefromanother Diagnosed NPD here and shamelessly cerebral. Ask away.
Sam Vaknin
@@AlastorTheNPDemon lmao,what an edgelord
@@TheGhjgjgjgjgjg Spam for a username... No profile picture... Yup. Checks out.
I am learning so much from Dr. Ramani. This channel is helping to realize that some members of my family just can't help themselves. I should remove myself from them and stop taking their lack of empathy, hate, and lack of taking responsibility for their actions.
Wow seven different types ? That is just insane, I’m already scared to even meet and date anyone because of the relationships I’ve encountered with these twisted people. Not to mention I was born into a family full of them mother and father grandmother, etc. something needs to be done to get these people help, they are damaging people who love and care for them.
I’ve realized through your teachings…
My father was overt and my mother covert narcissist…. Consequently I grew up very controlled and now struggle with emotional regulation… and Cptsd Working through it by learning mote and desiring to change fir the betterment of self and relationships going forward
We can’t change our pasts, but we can change for a better future.. thank you for being brave enough to bring this awareness … ..
Dear Dr. Ramani,
First of all I'd like to thank you for all your content. It has been eye-opening. Your channel was recommended to me by a friend who's a therapist in training.
I've very recently broken up a 4 years relationship with someone who seems to be a narcissist. To be honest I didn't know exactly what to call his "condition" before. I was even mistaking it for sociopathy, and although I'm not an expert to diagnose either way, I could tell that there was something wrong from very early on in the relationship.
It had it all, the huge excitement in the beginning, emotional roller coasters, gaslight, diminishing my reality and my values, you name it.
But before these series I couldn't put a finger on it.
However I do have some questions.
So on one side, this felt utterly real to me, and I'm very much heart broken (even though I was the one who initiated the break up).
My question is did he ever have actual "feelings" towards me?
Even if that was in his distorted way.
Basically, can a narcissist feel love towards someone, or is it just a possessive situation, and putting the other person on a pedestal till they grow tired of it?
I do not want him back or anything. I've had my share. But I'd like to know.
Thank you in advance
I wish I had a friend like Dr. Ramani, someone who knows the deal and someone trustworthy to confide in.
I am binge watching all of these videos because I’m currently trapped at home with my bpd mom and narc father, I’m trying not to lose my sanity after gaining my voice and visibility after so many years of being neglected and forgotten.
So sorry Cristy Marie, hope you will become even stronger by the experience and hope you continue to find at least online support.
Thinking of you, Cristy Marie. That's rough. Best of luck with it all.
Hang in there - you are strong! If you are seeking more info like this you will keep getting stronger
Dr you are so spot on! I was a psych RN for many years. I recently lost my Father aged 90 who was a narc and absent father you could never need. The problem is when a narc dies, and you review their life and their role of diminishing your personhood their entire life. I could not say goodbye at the end because there was nothing to miss. You are left with no good memories or feelings about someone who always treated you unmercilously. I forgive him for living so selfishly and never experiencing love or connection. Could you please speak about when your abuser Narc dies and lack of closure. TY you are awesome Doc!
You have helped me understand soo much! Thank you, Dr. Ramani. I appreciate everything you teach us.
Thank you Dr. Ramani! I feel like my third eye has finally opened. Now I can focus inward. Blessings to you dear.
DR. RAMANI, Thank You so much 💓 for your help and work. I am a Narcissistic Magnet and you have been helping me come to terms with and notice the Red Flags 🚩 in my life. You have helped me leave a toxic relationship and find the person who I was meant to be with🎉❤ I really can't Thank you enough
Glad I found this! I laughed because it is so accurate. I walked away from one and I lost everything getting myself involved but I saved my sanity.. For awhile I started questioning my mental state so much I had to see a therapist who after a few sessions assured me I am not Crazy!! Lol but al of what’s said in video ✅✅
You really have chosen a meaningful profession. You have helped people.
Just being able to see that we're not alone has tremendous value. Thanks.
Thanks, looking forward to this series! Please consider discussing friend and sibling narcissists too.
My therapist sent me your videos. I was living with a malignant narcissist for many years and the trauma is so deep. Thankful for your video series as help. 🥰
Leigh,You look stunning, hope you are not with a narcissist....
I was diagnosed with NPD a few days ago. I will be more than happy to add my two cents on the matter based on my own experiences. I am highly researched in this field in particular.
There's a subreddit for people who think they're narcissists, in general it's best to keep recovering narcissists away from recovering victims.
Spill the tea. I'd love to hear your experience. I just got out of a relationship with someone at least with the behaviors. Maybe not the diagnosis. But who knows.
@@missymartin8125 I had my diagnosis reassessed, found not to be symptomatic of the PD, but I no longer work with that therapist. I'm with another who has experience with Cluster B though, and he agrees more with the first therapist's assessment. I have decided against a formal diagnosis with him for many reasons, but we're talking as if I do have NPD - treatment is similar to depression and PTSD, and I recommended schema therapy for my case in particular due to most of my disorder stemming from conscious schema in my head.
thank you Dr.Ramani. I wish that this was taught in school. I came across your videos when I was desperate to understand what was going on in my last relationship. I have learned so much through you and I am able to listen to what I hear and see from others. I can now call a spade a spade rather than ignore what I see because I am no longer confused. It has taking me a long time to unravel from the where I was. Thank you, your videos were a mind saver and I am so grateful. Namaste
doctor Ramani, sometimes I just want to hug you and thank you :) I can't wait for these series, this information is so empowering! and I love your intelligent, thorough and honest approach. keep up the good work!
He CONSTANTLY says that I'm not a Therapist so STOP diagnosing him. I'm so glad you addressed that this is a descriptive term. That I am valid in my observation.
I would love information about how to raise my 12 year old daughter when 50% of her time is with her Grandiose narcissistic father. Any suggestions for neutralizing his teachings?
Hi Jennifer😊My father is a covert narcissist and mom is an empath. I had some emotional fluctuations during my adolescence and adulthood. My mom has been always supported me with unconditional love, affection, empathy. She never judged me or accused me due to my wrong deeds, choices, never compared me to other children. My mom is my harbour🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻Please get as much as information about that case from various sources because mother is the most important figure in the child's life and never get hopeless during bad times 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Sooner or later she will realize that something is out of tune about her father. Real love, affection, trust and empathy always win😊
I just love you Dr. Ramani. When you talk, you light up my soul. Thank you for your wisdom and kindness.
Thank u dr.ramani,for educating us in such delicate yet often missed/overlooked, misunderstood, topics....
Thank you Dr Ramani. I have been victimized by Narcissists, and unfortunately I too have caused problems for others due to my own narcissistic tendencies. The content that you are providing, is teaching me to be more thoughtful.
You mean Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride? =P
Haha good call!
Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder, pretty much describes liars and cheaters to me.
Cruelty angry self loathing master manipulators. Sadly I have a daughter with it. Is it genetic. Dad had it too. The actual disorder. Nt traits or patterns.
Lesley Ald I think my daughter has it too just like her father
Those are the biblical seven deadly sins. Lol very precise.
You are the Truth, I’ve been waiting for this topic to become widely talked about. After years of counseling and thousands of dollars and divorce, loss of children and family. I had to walk away from this destruction. Thank you for the confirmation
Now I’m finally starting to really live my own life
I'm 52 and trying, once again, to pick up the pieces of my life. Attempting to disengage from my narcissistic abuse, my mother.
God bless you, I'm 58, gone no contact for the umpteenth time, they dont change, blocked number, I'm staying gone.
Jonica Bradley, you deserve better
I'm just starting to watch this video. Just by the title alone, I'm overwhelmed.
I would love to hear about covert narcissists. I can't tell if someone close to me is or isn't one. Your information is so very helpful - thank you so much!
Being around or with a covert narcissist is like Chinese water torture.
The Mom on Everyone Loves Raymond?
THANK YOU! It’s almost like the minute you mention narcissism, you are dismissed because YOU aren’t the professional. Thank you for validating that. If anyone has has had this problem, seek a new therapist. ❤️
She is so amazing. I sooo wish I could afford to see her. She could change my life .
Change your own life. She doesn’t know shit.
I have been checking your videos out for a while, my sister had told me a while back my mom was a Narc. but, I see it in her too. you have made it so clear now. My whole family walked out of my life. I do hate being alone. I do understand it is the best for my health.
Silky feather,You got a lovely smile 😊
🤔 I don’t think I ever want to date again. The point of observing them and diagnosing them is just to painful, 😂
Dana Durkin, you deserve better
Honestly it’s quite worrying. Date : “may I have a drink”. Me:“get it yourself you malignant narcissistic”
I watch Dr. Ramani's videos EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I am so grateful to have found her... xo
I'd be curious to know more about the relationship between narcissism and jealousy.
WitlessSod, I do believe there's a connection.
My ex was a narcissist but he wasn't jelous at all. If anything, he encouraged me to socialise with my friends. He replaced me with no closure whatsoever.
I'm confused.
@@RachyNoodleNest Ah, my ex was super possessive. So much so that if I told her about my day at work and my story had the name of a female co-worker in it, she would question me about my co-worker so aggressively that I felt like a suspect in an interrogation. She once even logged onto my social media account and blew a fuse at me for wishing a close friend of mine a happy birthday. When I confronted her about the breach of privacy and insisted that she had completely misread the situation, she specifically told me that she wasn't going to apologize.
You rock dr.ramani still alive gets little better all the time, the healer, you, the knowledge! Thank you 💜
Love you Dr Ramani - thank you so much for the work you do. Much gratitude. 🖤
You're a warrior Dr. Ramani! How does one change the world? Education! Thank you for your time.
Can you please talk about friendships and narcissism. I feel that I just attract narcissistic people, all my life.
@Gordon Fornow The thing that is really standing out for me is our boundaries are too weak. If they are rude, you can say, that's it...goodbye. You might give a 2nd chance, again if it happens again we need to listen to that. The mistake is giving chance after chance after chance and then when it's over we are riddled with all sorts of things we have to deal with. Cut toxic people off, from the get go. Protect yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
Lord Have Mercy...This explains why my Dad and Brother who I know are both narcissists but not in the same way......
Wow, that was quite a bit of info thrown out there, I genuinely always thought that there's just one type that I like to call jerks! Now to find out there's 7 types, that's a bit overwhelming to say the least! But, I have been learning so much from these videos and I am thankful for how much insight these videos have provided. ✊💪🤗
Ellagrace W,You are beautiful,hope you are not with a narcissist....
@@jamesarmstrong4179 Thank you, no I'm married to my soulmate thankfully, but my family members are a different story altogether. But thank you.