INFJ MALE Spotting! 8 SIGNS To Look For

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 35

  • @peaceglory5973
    @peaceglory5973 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    INFJ female here. I've listened to a few of your videos and they are spot on. The color coded calendar & to-do list, the closet organized by color/ season. Hyper-organizer of all things important. The struggle I have is ADHD though, and that impedes my organization process. Also, the absolute refusal to follow trends.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Peace & Glory, thank you for commenting, I appreciate it! Wow, it's scary how similar we can be. What does hyper organization as you call it do for you? So you have a strong need to organize, however ADHD gets in the way of that. How come you refuse to follow trends? Thanks

  • @SOI8AWORM
    @SOI8AWORM 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    WOW, now I dont feel like a freak!! INFJ male here. Nice to finally have some insight to what I have felt the past 40 years!!! So spot on it's scary!!

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for commenting! Welcome brother! Right on time!

    • @davidcook680
      @davidcook680 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I still feel like some alien freak lol. Which is fine. It's nice to know. Others might be alien with me. Hello fellow alien. Nice to meet you.

  • @INFJMalePsychology
    @INFJMalePsychology  2 ปีที่แล้ว

    🟠 Learn how to communicate like an INFJ!
    Nonviolent Communication Online Course (by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg) *Affiliate
    infjmalepsychology.com/nonviolent-communication

  • @BasedGodEmperorTrump
    @BasedGodEmperorTrump 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Trait #8 as narrated is basically cognitive dissonance ie holding multiple contradictory beliefs or values etc, simultaneously.

  • @maxolivetti3351
    @maxolivetti3351 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    7:00 "Sensitive, empathetic, creative and responsible" is a leverage in dating?
    7:15 "Males who are mature and socially developed are often loved by women" -> then why are these traits shared by 1% of the population and not been selected by evolution? What happens in times of crisis when physical strength is required? Why female humans have been selecting the dark triad for ages? Why perceived personality correlates with physical beauty in dating apps research and not mental depth? Please explain.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey Max, thanks for commenting. Yes, and in that point at 7:15 I go on to say that sensitivity, empathy et cetera are an advantage in dating for men, only if they are balanced with their masculine side. I'm describing the actualized human being who has integrated both their feminine and masculine. I believe that our next step in evolution is a conscious effort to self-actualize, grow our awareness of all our traits (the sides that we like and the sides that we don't like about ourselves) and integrate them in a healthy way into our personality. A concept I've gotten from diving into the works of Carl Jung.
      The reference you made to dating apps is interesting. I wasn't talking about dating via dating apps in this video. Perhaps, other rules apply when you have limited information like on these apps (photos and a short written bio). Curious to hear more about that. What do you think of dating apps?

    • @maxolivetti3351
      @maxolivetti3351 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@INFJMalePsychology Thanks for the prompt reply.
      About 7:15: it's then understood that those traits are add-ons, not the main requirement, which remains masculinity. INFJ aren't the archetype of the masculinity selected by evolution and mating (indeed the 1%, dark triad etc). Why being afraid of reminding the main point straight first, that males are selected by their ability to provide, defend, collaborate, create etc FIRST and that females have been happily driving these for their own and their babies' sake too? (no judgement implied, be aware) Hence all the points in my comment, which I leave unanswered intentionally. There are more if one asks the right whys from the clash of real experience/INFJ expectations.
      I regret to say, respectfully, that the video shies away from expanding the prime frame (where kindness may be implanted very later on): a sane degree of masculinity. Without, men are simply walked over, ignored, despised, considered weak, bullied, left aside by society and reproduction lottery etc. INFJ men suffers all this disgrace to the utmost degree, so let's not turn a blind just for the sake of being kind, which is not even the key to success btw, for the youth's sake.
      About the "conscious effort to self-actualize, grow our awareness". After seeing too many pals suffering from "kind" advice, I dare to say, with respect, you say yourself: "I believe".
      It's a polite demand ON the spectator, a respectable programme of the content creator, however not an instructional video FOR the spectator to succeed. Pardon me: is there an advisory label? If then the info doesn't necessarily stick to reality, are INFJs, men, ... going to pay for it as a by-product? Why not speaking the blunt truth in a channel meant for INFJs?
      One fact: data collected from dating apps (hence unfiltered, not self-reported) indicate mating is now driven mainly by beauty for both sexes. So, say if this isn't in line with the said programme, excuse me, are we going to ignore it for the sake of the YT channel? That ain't fair for us and INFJs too, especially the unexperienced young again. The scrolling videoclips of beautiful/tall/pleasant/... people here does indeed a good job of re-aligning the voiced-over kind narrative to the harsh reality (no sarcasm intended): personality doesn't matter that much.
      And, lo and behold, INFJ are 1% for a reason. I would quickly ask myself why instead of having the presumption to tell Nature to do otherwise and delude my pals in the process. (My Fe is too strong to steer away.)
      I excuse myself again. You mention Carl Jung. Why not take data from research on modern human relationships? There's a big problem with the change in dating dynamics, the rise of dating apps and the overwhelming winning factor of beauty, the epidemics of sexless youngs, the belittlement of the societal role of men, ... In this panorama, the video elevates the INFJ emotional depth to a bonus? It's rather a gateway to speed up such negative trends and further societal abuse. Anyone with a sane awareness of human dynamics knows a grain of it, to say the least VERY conservatively.
      I have a litmus test, if I still may. INFJ males are males in the first place by definition. Therefore the relationship/dating points of a Jordan Peterson or a Kevin Samuels would apply to them too. Instead they would be far off in this video. Fairness would beg again for another explanation on its behalf.
      I appreciate the long reading.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@maxolivetti3351 thanks again for commenting, great points man, definetly worth thinking about and I'm aware of those dynamics. However, I would need to write a book or conduct a research study to merge all those points together and that is beyond the scope of this video.
      You asked: why not speak the truth? To claim I would have THE truth, is way too much. This channel provides ideas, ways of looking at the INFJ's experience, ordeal and place in society. Everybody is free to agree or disagree, and that's where it gets interesting, because then we can have a discussion and hopefully explore and learn some more from each other.
      I do believe the INFJ's emotional depth is a bonus if one knows how to set boundaries, and stand up for themselves. The toxic dynamic and how INFJs usually learn to stand up for themselves is also mentioned in the video.
      Dating apps definetly changed a lot and we are just barely seeing the long term effects of them on our relationships I'm afraid. I'm not using dating apps anymore though, because I felt they were conditioning me to always look for the next "better" match. What was your experience on dating apps?

    • @maxolivetti3351
      @maxolivetti3351 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@INFJMalePsychology Whereas persons can have a discussion and explore ideas, the reality stays the same and what is left for us is to understand it quickly if we want to live better for longer. Opinions, tastes, ideas may change quickly and are often inconsequential; facts aren't opinions and decisions bring consequences.
      Saying something obvious to anyone, I know:
      men are allowed to pursue a relationship by women's initiative (due to costly pregnancies, narrow fertility window etc), not vice versa. You may swipe on a woman, but women will rarely on you statistically and it takes both matches to chat. Being selective is a bad strategy when someone else can afford to be more.
      For example, prospect candidates apply to 100 jobs, recruiters may shortlist 5, each may be offered 1 job after all. Apply for 1 instead and you'll get none. Thus swipe or not swipe, overthink or not, is inconsequential for the average man. The hope to get a better match is like indulging on the paint of your supercar when you're poor, underage and looking through the shop window. Sure, go through the catalog, nobody's preventing you, but I'll be inconsequential (delusional, if I turn down my Fe).
      About the experience, I'd rather reference the home-made studies by average-looking dudes on YT: a tiny fraction of replies, less chats carried on, less showed up in person, less interesting in person, even less continued. How women select is well documented (again, top something%, facial aesthetics, unbounded hypergamy due to vast availability of men, little self-care/development/family-prospect due to lack of standards being the ones selecting instead and bombed with likes...). Again, documented facts, not mutable opinions of myself one single INFJ person.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@maxolivetti3351 Thanks again for the effort. I wouldn't be so quick to say that it's just set in stone for a man to just be at the mercy of women to pick them and hoping to get a chance if they just prove themselves while standing in line with all the other trying men outside the castle gates. I do see that mindset a lot in men around me and hey I was that pursuing pleasing dude when I was in my early twenties too, almost every dude starts off like that.
      But, it didn't work for me and about 10 years ago I searched for a different approach. I looked into developing that masculine side of focussing on my purpose and mission in life, and taking responsibility for it (not wanting women to fix my unhappiness), leading and courageous by being direct with women about my attraction towards them, setting boundaries and have a take it or leave it attitude with a smile and leaving the door open when they couldn't date me for some reason, but moving on with my life and since then everything changed. Whether it was at parties, on the street or on dating apps (with a humorous bio that showcased my personality vs. the bland bio I had before) I was being flirted with and pursued by women a lot. Being highly sensitive I could also pick up on subtle cues by which women consciously and subconsciously communicated that they were attracted to me and when I saw that and I liked them too I would invite them on a date. There's a secret meta language women speak and if you can awaken your Mangekyou Sharingan (shameless Naruto reference) to pick up, learn and speak that language too it will change your life forever. In that sense being highly sensitive is an advantage INFJs have over other men, because they can pick up more easily on that secret meta communication. I have some stories that would blow your mind. Can't even remember the last time I was flaked upon. It's been years.
      Most of my friends and acquaintances were perplexed by how I was effortlessy attracting women and just couldn't understand how I "did" it. It was a mindset shift and energy shift and behavior shift from trying to find a woman to pacify my lack and unhappiness, to having a goal, making myself happy and sharing that overflow of enthusiasm, passion and purpose. I have another INFJ Male friend who I went to college with and he had the same experience throughout those years. But yeah, it isn't the default mode, we got to understand something through a lot of pain and rejection, but that led for us to search for answers and the problem lied within how I was showing up as this "nice guy". Looks do matter to a degree, but without charm, you are nothing. You could be as handsome as Brad Pitt or Morris D. Chestnut, without personality it wouldn't go far. I have a clear before and after result after the change and my looks stayed the same so there's my proof it's personality that's one of the most influential factors. Of course wealth and all that other stuff matters, but if you want someone to like you for you too, then your personality and how you make others feel is key. INFJs are by default mysterious, different and sensitive and man I'm telling you, if you develop those counterbalancing masculine traits those typical INFJ gifts are going to be true gifts, because then you are protecting yourself from being too pleasing, too sensitive or only empathetic towards others and forgetting yourself. We all know trying to act like a macho man or adopting this brute alpha male persona doesn't work for most INFJs. It's fake, it's phony and you are surpressing a beautiful part of yourself that way.
      Now, I kept my empathy and such but balanced it out with that driven, direct, honest and boundary setting side and my friend did the same. I get that it's anecdotal, but me and my friend just have a completely different experience than what your describing. That chasing of women and begging them for a chance, attention, texting the whole day, staying under the radar as a friend under false pretences, not stating your romantic interest respectfully and dither around because you fear going for what you want has been a thing of the past for over 10 years now. So that means there's another way for INFJ men and for men in general. So what is reality? Yes, if you keep doing what you've been always doing and blindly copying what you see around you, you'll get that same reality, but reality could be different for you if you change your approach and change the way you look at things. Always stay open and explore the things you're curious about. Telling yourself that things are just the way they are can also be an excuse to not change and blame others. In the end we don't have all the answers.
      The statistics you reference do say something and maybe they are also a reflection of how many men don't know how to show up in dating optimallly to help their case. We all know it's kind of taboo among typical men to look up dating advice, because as man you should already know how to date women because if you have questions it's a sign that you're "not a man" or a loser or something. Unless you had some good rolemodels for it, it's unlikely you would just naturally find your way to be the most attractive. Many men willfully stay ignorant for that reason and the results speak for themselves. Now, it's a jungle out there when it comes to good advice and many men are taken advantage of by these so called dating gurus too, it's a complex predicament.
      Developing yourself is hard work and a continious process and a very daunting task too, so I get that most people won't do it. People are tired of this men vs women rethoric. People are longing for something beautiful in relationships again, I can feel it. This growing hook up culture perhaps exacerbated by dating apps is eroding intimacy and commitment. People are starving for devotion and meaning. We can lead by example as INFJs to show up differently and transcend our default modes of being, we all can. But the question is do you have the courage to jump into the unknown and explore uncharted territory? Would you consider yourself red pill? You sound like a red pill guy, but I could be wrong.

  • @isaac_paech
    @isaac_paech 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Explains why I get along with my mother so much more than my father. That and my father can be emotionally immature a lot of the time so there's no stability there to invest in.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks for commenting! That sucks that your dad can be emotionally immature. It's very important for INFJs to be able to emotionally trust others, especially our parents, because our emotional world is very vivid. If our emotonal ties are disrupted we suffer immensely due to being very sensitive to emotions.

  • @Taurusboy07
    @Taurusboy07 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow!!!!!!!! OMG. I just love this channel. Can I use your videos on my channel. Maybe I can copy the link so that you will get the views.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Walter, thanks for responding. What do you mean by using the video on your channel?

    • @Taurusboy07
      @Taurusboy07 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@INFJMalePsychology You are welcome. I am working on launching my coaching business and as part of my bio, I would like to add your link to this video explaining more about the nature of who I am.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Taurusboy07 hey that's great that you are building a business! Exciting stuff! Sure, you can put a link to this video there. Do you have a website for your business? What's the plan/strategy?

    • @Taurusboy07
      @Taurusboy07 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@INFJMalePsychology Thanks a lot. I am working on two things that will work together with my coaching business. Once I have everything finalized, I will have the website done.

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Taurusboy07 that sounds great man. let me know when your website is up!

  • @Taurusboy07
    @Taurusboy07 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow!!!! 😮 This is me 100%

  • @alisonbrockbank6677
    @alisonbrockbank6677 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m an INFJ female who has found an INFJ male. Is that the ‘holy grail’?

    • @INFJMalePsychology
      @INFJMalePsychology  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Haha, I don't know! You tell me! Is it?

    • @alisonbrockbank6677
      @alisonbrockbank6677 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@INFJMalePsychologyIt’s early days. Only 6 weeks in. Early signs are good but who knows how it will end up. Will report back 😅

  • @sourceenergyzone1842
    @sourceenergyzone1842 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great Info