sorry to be offtopic but does anybody know a tool to log back into an Instagram account? I stupidly lost the account password. I would love any help you can offer me!
@Omar Nova thanks for your reply. I got to the site on google and Im waiting for the hacking stuff atm. Looks like it's gonna take quite some time so I will get back to you later with my results.
@@MrEpsilonEagle or the time and place and it feels like you’re asking too many questions when you ask so you feel annoying no to everyone but it’s literally necessary informations so you shouldn’t feel bad for asking but aaaaaa
As someone with ASD, I prefer communication that is straight to the point, as detailed as possible, and devoid of negative emotion. I melt down every time I deal with angry people.
I think you'd find that most people, ASD or not, prefer to not deal with angry people. Depending on the level of anger we all feel threatened by angry people because that is what anger is communicating: a threat. I understand that you mean you are even more sensitive to that, but my point is that ASD people are not alone in feeling that way. You will find allies among neurotypical people on this subject. My ex-husband knew perfectly well that his shouting at me made me feel like the world was crashing down on me, but it never seemed to stop him from doing it. There are a lot of people who are often angry and feel entitled to express that anger any time they feel it. They may also feel like anyone who protests their anger is trying to control them and then frustration is added to the anger. You are within your rights to avoid them, no matter what they say about it, or what their relationship is to you. It is not a failing on your part. It is simply how you are and it's incompatible with people who habitually communicate with aggression.
It's not just anger for me(or for anyone else who's curious about this phenomenon), its based from straight up fear in situations when someone is not just angry but your afraid for your own saftey or that of your family or friends. That's why I always consider my options in situations like this(leave the situation if you can if you can't don't be afraid to defend yourself, your pack and your property. I live in the United States where there are some parts of the country you can claim "self defense" and others that are NOT COVERED so you have to know your rights based on where you live.) I had a family memeber who by cultural background would get up in my face when angry so I know all too well.
My wife is autistic so this sort of content is invaluable to me. We've been together 12 years and I'm still constantly learning about autism and how it affects her and our relationship. You're first point is absolutely spot on. Patience, patience, patience. But she's my best friend and I love her madly so having patience with her isn't usually too hard to do!
I tried to get my partner to watch some of these videos with.me.to help better our relationship and he just won't. How do you go about getting someone to understand how much it means. How was your partner able to convince you
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Just enjoy it. They're usually known for falling out of love quickly like flipping a switch. My fiancee decided he didn't love me anymore and I had to call and cancel our wedding. We'd been together 9 years and 5 months. He has aspergers and broke up with me 2 days after my mamaw died. I'm adhd and not on the spectrum I now see people with aspergers in an entirely different light. I now suffer from cassandra syndrome as a result from being in that relationship.
All of these, plus the most important for me: Say exactly what you mean. Don't imply something and expect us to get it. This would prevent 99% of the fights between my NT husband and me.
THIS. RIGHT. HERE. My mom is horrible about this, she's always hinting, implying, and making passive aggressive comments. These types of things confuse me, frustrate me, and overall stress me out often to the point of melting down. She'll say something is fine but her voice says otherwise and if I try to ask her what she really means she gets angry. Or I'll say something and she'll assume that I'm implying something when I really just meant exactly what I said. It causes so many fights.
@@arandomstartreknerd7261 She better start realizing then that she's only gonna be worth the insurance payout when her time is due if she keeps this up. My father is the same and I even admit a couple times when he got in my face I did kick him in the groin so if I ran to my room he wouldn't follow me and break down the door. I have even told myself even though live alone now that I do deserve early inheritance for a decade of insults including sexist and ableist comments and a death threat after I started my new job from HELL straight outta college. Part of me won't expose him due to my health insurance being under his work and his status in the community. He's trying to make an effort but I still don't trust him.
@@riannamajzoub5241 If early inheritance was due, you surely deserve it. This psychological aggression should be compensated... and if money is what you need... then... Really could that you still managed to do you, get a job with all this violent behavior you didn't deserve !
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
A good rule of thumb is to email or text instead of calling. Phone calls are often intrusive and timed inconveniently, prone to static (at least in my experience) and disruptions from background noise, and you can always reread a text or email but you can't for a phone call. Being specific is also very helpful!
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
It has become absurdly apparent to my husband and I (I suspect he’s on the spectrum, and my diagnosis is in process…!) that we communicate better -nay, AT ALL- through text. Our face-to-face conversations end in frustrated fizzles……. if they even get off the ground at all. I don’t know how we’re going to work past relying on text to get our points across, but for now, at least we’ve opened back up to eachother. ✊🥺
@bekahcassidy7352 you have the option to reply more or less whenever without being put on the spot. You don't have to gauge tone, listen to the person talking, the background noise around you AND the background noise around them.
As a wife of one aspie & mother to another, my best advice for communicating is, if possible, to wait until the aspie has time to listen. Often when my son or my hubby is totally absorbed with something, and then it's better to wait until they are done. Before I realized this I could get so frustrated cuz hubby had said yes to something, and then didn't even remember he'd heard it at all.
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
I would like your advice. I’m working with someone who is autistic, and I really value their friendship. They are incredibly smart and passionate about our company. But, they are very abrasive in tone and volume, they tend to go into attack mode when making their case for some position on a topic even when people agree with them, they seem to be blind to social cues when it comes to to appropriate topics to speak about at work, and they don’t seem to be able to focus on a topic once they’ve lost interest (they literally walk away pms go on their phone, etc). So, that’s not great for the workplace. I’m trying to get people to be understanding. But this is getting extreme and disrespecting towards everyone else. I’m sorry…you can only go so far with “well they are [condition] you’re not allowed to take issue with it”. It’s become abusive and toxic. What would you suggest?
Ever since I know I'm autistic, every time someone asks me if I'm a quick learner or wants to teach me something I tell them "Yeah, but you have to SHOW it to me". When they ask why, I explain that's the way I learn things the fastest and it will spare us both time and energy because the chances I'll have to bother you with questions afterwards will be a lot smaller.
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
I really want to learn sign language just for the days where I'm having trouble talking or communicating, but I'm having a lot of trouble remembering the signs and even just getting the signs right.
I have practiced a few key signs (like “full” for “I’ve had too much”) that will be useful for specific situations where I become mute. I know some people prepare cards in advance for specific situations like that. Or just “summary info” cards, like “I tend to... and need you to...”
I'm a disability support worker (in Australia) and find your videos insightful. Talking and listening to individuals helps me build on my knowledge. Everyone is so wonderfully different :)
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Dan, you definitely helped with this video. I have a nurse that sees me once a week. She’s a new nurse and runs around very quickly and talks to me very quickly. I’m deaf so I have to read her lips which I hate but I can’t get her to slow down so that I can picture what she’s talking about and I end up frustrating her and she just leaves. I also have the same problem with my psychotherapist who is supposed to be helping me with my autism but she’s never dealt with an autistic person before. So she keeps asking me to imagine myself in places where I’ve never been and then explain to her how it makes me feel and I have to keep saying that I don’t know because I’ve never been in that situation. I’m going to send this video to both my nurse and psychotherapist and hope that they’ll watch it in order to understand how to deal with me instead of getting frustrated with me. The nurse I had before this new one was perfect. She totally understood me and took her time with me. Wish I could have her back but she works in a different area now. So, I’m trying to teach the new people how to communicate with me. Thanks for making this video. You’re awesome! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Holy lord, #5 is the biggest one for me. I can't deal with a conversation when there are no details being given. I can't deal with life without the details being given. I've stopped talking to people because they aren't giving me the information my brain needs.
Thank you. My friend has Autism and I want to learn how to be around him. Not meaning treat him differently but get a better understanding of his world so I can avoid things that are wrong. I do ask him certain things I want to know but also taking steps to learn more on my own. Really cool person and hope to not hurt or disrespect him if I can.
Hey Dan, I'm new. 42 years of marriage and I am finnally understanding that my husband and I are both on the spectrum! Your site has really helping us to communicate so much better! It has really helped to lowered our stress levels. Its like we have finnally found the planet we are from. I am also dyslexic and ADHD. For me, I like your fast talking. I think with pictures too!
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
I do agree with you with most of what you said, especially with having patience with the question asking and the need to add more details right from the beginning. I used to drive my supervisors at work crazy with repetitive questions, and was told once that if I asked another question I would be fired. I just wanted to do a good job, and not get in trouble for misunderstanding what I was supposed to do. At my old job the rules changed often and you did not know you broke a rule until afterwards. Now I know that I have another reason for my constant questions.
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Best wishes to everyone in this thread for pursuing assessment and I hope each of you finds the answers you're looking for, no matter what those answers are. 😊
Thankyou for what you are doing Dan. Seriously mate your doing something genuinely kind here. You've help me understand my little brother so much and am looking forward to being able to communicate better with him. 👍
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
I love all my ASD kids. With them, my mask drops, I can be myself more easily and they get what I’m trying to teach. Ever since I accidentally outted myself at work (for advocating for them at a meeting) I have gotten quite a lot more ASD in my swim classes.
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Thank you so much for this. Everything is 100% on the spot. I'm actually going to try to get my manager at work to watch this, because I really do love my job, but it gets really difficult and frustrating sometimes because of things that are really avoidable and easily fixed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I train dogs for autistic kids. I find learning about their personal positive likes and hobbies and switch up my analogies to fit those criteria. I have aspergers myself and I think its actually a powerful tool because I have nk problem saying whats on my mind to the parents so I don't hit speed bumps in the training and im not accidentsucking more money from them.
You might be interested in learning about consciousdiscipline.com if you haven't already. It's been a big help for from toddlers to young adults, without and with, autism on all levels of the spectrum. As always, I wish you well.
Wonderful! Have you read the book 'Toby and Sox'? You are one of the Autistic Emergency Services, believe me. I'm a middle-aged adult who was late-diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum who finds having a dog (though not an actual autism assistance dog) makes my life bearable, eases my anxiety and is the best friend in the world. My GP encouraged me to get a dog not just for the exercise but also for the benefits I've mentioned. I wish you peace and all good with your endeavours.
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
This was so useful. Yesterday I told my son (who may have asd & adhd) that he needed to clean the sofa up after himself. I meant to put cushions and throws back on and not leave them on the floor. He freaked out thinking I meant he had to clean the actual sofa! And these things keep happening. I can see now that it's my lack of detail. Thank you!
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THESE TIPS!! I'm new to your channel. I'm a CNA and just picked up a new client with autism. I usually do geriatrics (65+) but this one is pediatric. She's a sophomore in high school and has cerebral palsy. I realize this isn't what your case is, however, there are other students in the class with level 3 autism. I've been doing research on autism and how to communicate with them. I've liked and subscribed already ☺ keep the tips coming!!!
This is spot on! My adult son and I both benefit from these tips, especially patience, visuals and lots of details! I’m a late self-diagnosed autistic and these videos and other related content have been invaluable in helping me and my husband help our son and helped me discover my own neurodivergence. Thank you! 😃
Thank you Dan. I'm newly diagnosed as an adult. my husband & I just celebrated 37th anniversary. I asked him to watch this and he said wow that explains a lot and he'll try to use these tips. What always happens is he'll ask me to take care of something (and it's not just him of course) and I misunderstand, f it up, and then I feel bad bc I misunderstood and I get defensive. So thank you! I learned what I need about communication and my hubby did too!
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Your specific yet brief set of rules here is awesome. I'm going to try and get my roommate/father figure/best friend to watch this. I feel he doesn't understand me and our communication is so out of whack that everything we do together is exhausting!😩 Great video I hope it helps me.🤞 Thank you
So right! Before I realised my son is asperger, I was talking to him same way as with my older daughter, assuming he should understand simple tasks. And it was kind of frustrating whe he still didn't do the task and with luck of my patient we had some rough times. Then I realised, he needs fine details to be explain, all reasons why task should be done, listen carefully for all he has to say, and I finally got the pattern how to communicate with my son 😄 then some teachers and his dentist gave me a tip that he might be on spectrum, I started to learn about it and boom, suddenly I got ALL the patient I need 😄 it's like magic, when you realise that person is on spectrum and you learn to adjust to their personality, it is so much easier to be calm and patient. Plenty to learn for me yet, but I can see how my son appreciate what I do, and our relationship got much better, because I try to make his world a bit more clear for him, at least at home, I hope 🥰 thank you for all information you share with us ♡
I personally find asking for feedback from my work colleagues daunting. I have self confidence issues and I have found its easier to just ask "can you tell me if I have done something wrong ?" or "what have I done wrong for your reaction ?" I do however also find they talk to me in a child like way and a smile as if they are joking with me. I cannot read the situation with weird facial expressions which make no sense to the things they say and I find it confusing as it then does make me want to react in a tantrum and storm off as it just simply does not make sense. So I end up viewing situations as always my fault, as clearly would not happened if I was not working there.
What don’t you create a feedback email so they can email you when they are happy to like a suggestion box. Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
I am 35 and just finally met the leader I needed. We come out of meetings and I can ask him to describe other people's emotions during the meeting and point out physical cues to help me detect them in the future. We also discuss what is an appropriate reaction to those emotions and work on a "programmed" response to avoid me putting my foot in my mouth. Its been helpful and people have been enjoying working with me more. I still dont quite get it but...im getting there!
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Wow. Another very useful video. People could also note, when I ask them to repeat, that's what I want: the exact same thing, once again. If the problem was something else, I would say can you rephrase that. If you change what you say each time you "repeat" it, you'll just create confusion.
Best on. 2nd time watching this one. Husband Aspie. Had breakdown and left. Pastor w/church of Autism of all ages. Tight, interesting group. We are survivors and learn to help each other. Exciting.
A video about communication strategies when both people in a relationship are autistic and ADHD would be helpful. My girlfriend and I are both autistic and ADHD and have difficulties in areas of communication. Knowing when it's our turn to speak, interrupting, listening, understanding the others emotions and feelings, misinterpreting what has been said negatively, etc.
I'm new to ASD and your channel. My son was diagnosed about 10 years ago and we are going through the diagnosis process right now for me so I'm not 100% legit yet but I swear! I watch videos like this and I have made some Autistic friends and, after 30 years of varying diagnosis, I finally feel like I've found my tribe. I see myself in the Autism community and it is helping me grow much closer to my son, who is 18 now. Thank you for all the education.
Love to see in the time slide about what topic you’re talking at that specific time. Btw so much thanks for making these vids, they really helped me so much.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
My 23 yr old son is extremely argumentative.......hes always right......and when he was in school, he never talked about his family....he only talked video games
Wow I am 25 unemployed autistic and I am indian We have no support for autism here in india Neurodiverse people suffer so much in india Whole life I've been backstabbed betrayed n taken advantage of Non sense people
I have trouble with communicating quite a bit normally I will go dead silence and won't know when it is my turn to speak or I'll do the opposite and butt in maybe with a topic that's irrelevant but everyday I'm learning thanks Dan for putting up some great videos
My 4 year old grandson has a speech delay, he is just now beginning to talk. He Stimson, has melt downs, and lots of other things. I'm trying to learn all that I can.
I just recently started following your channel, like a week ago or something like that. Probably more like a few days ago. I’ve got an appointment scheduled with my doctor on Wednesday to talk with him and see if maybe he can at least point me in the right direction to be clinically diagnosed with Asperger’s. My girlfriend had mentioned something along the lines of “what if you have Asperger’s?”, and it hit me pretty hard to see she’d even noticed something like that about me because for one, I always knew I was a little bit different, which everyone is different, but the way i was disciplined growing up with adhd (which I hadn’t even discovered until I was around 16-17) - I was essentially disciplined to suppress certain ticks and behaviors that I had as a kid, and I hadn’t even realized that til I sat down and started watching your videos. I’m 99% sure I have Asperger’s, but finding out at 28 years old definitely left me feeling a type of way. i literally balled my eyes out after watching only like two of your videos. I used to wonder all the time, “what if I have some form of autism”, and i hadn’t really put much thought into it at all until after I totaled my car in January of 2018 and left the hospital with a concussion that was so under diagnosed that my family wouldn’t believe me when I told them I died in that car accident and was left looking at myself with the choice “should I stay or should I go”. That experience changed my life forever, but for the better, of course. Anyways, after that wreck, the recovery process from the brain trauma took me for a spin, and immediately after leaving the hospital I felt like i was seeing myself for the first time, thoughts and all. Then all this stuff started to sink into perspective and I wondered if maybe I was this way because of the car accident, but when I brought it up to my mom about it she brushed it off as if it were too late to even consider, and considering my little brother has adhd along with high functioning autism, I just suppressed the idea thinking I was just crazy. I have adhd, ocd, dyslexia, ptsd and was diagnosed with bipolar (which I personally don’t believe that’s even something that should be treated with medicine, especially after my experiences with the meds I was prescribed to for it). My point is, I’m SURE that I have Asperger’s, I just need that confirmation to know how to go about taking care of myself, my mental health and for the clarity of how to go about my every day life. sorry this is such a long comment lol. It feels good to be able to let all this out. Thank you for your videos and all the time and effort and energy you put into your channel. I truly believe you’re making a difference in so many lives and the authenticity of your overall channel is incredible to see. #SoGrateful
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Hey there Dan. Thanks so much for this video mate. I recently was diagnosed as having suspected ASD, as well as severe ADHD inattentive disorder. I will however be undergoing another assessment as I feel I am actually on the spectrum (not just suspected). This video will help my family and my wife so much. I know it was posted a while ago but it has just cleared the air for me immensely. Cheers again mate.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
I'm a teacher on the Autistic Spectrum, and will try to communicate some of these strategies to my co-workers, as I'm currently working to create a give and take situation, versus the present where it is often me being told, "You communicate in a way that makes people uncomfortable, you need to change that." The teachers at my school tend to be good with ASD students, but somehow the same with colleagues is harder.
I was a classroom teacher but needed a break so am subbing. I found long term assignment and took it needing the money. I was never told I'd be put into a self contained mod severe. Not as an Aide, as the teacher. With 6 non verbal children. There is one Aide and there used to be another, but 3 of the kids are supposed to be 1:1, so I guess they were never meeting ratio at this school. The only plans left were minimal, vague and the "emergency sub plans" were not pointed out or labeled in a visible way. There was a step file folder holder with the tabs labeled Monday, Tuesday, etc. in pencil. Inside was just worksheets. No explanations of how to get that material comprehended for the kids. Aide says it's too high-level. Teacher left no guide for how elicit communication from them. There were no procedures for when they get overestimated and such. I am on high alert that somebody is going to get smacked (I've already seen a girl get hit by our hitting boy) let alone having to take the blame. When I have NO training. They don't even require you to have teaching experience in order to be a substitute. It's lucky that I do. Staff act like I'm supposed to just be patient and flexible as a solution, like those two qualities will make everything okay. People have made comments suggesting it should just come naturally. I feel this whole situation is inappropriate and unsafe and unfair! Can you please advise?!
@@jupiterg9813 I would suggest writing out what it is that you want, and what you need to effectively execute your job as concise, concrete, and true as possible. Then sit down with your employer and discuss it. If they are not willing to aid you in executing your job as well as you could, and no changes are made or compromises are found within a reasonable time frame you might want consider leaving. (Provided that is possible within the constraints of the contract.)
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Thanks for sharing. My friend and I had a communication problem a while back and it was because I had wrongly believed that they grasped something I had explained to them months prior. I got wrapped up in thinking that they hadn't been listening to me at all during the entire span of the months I tried to help them learn something when that wasn't the case. Ultimately we found out that partial colorblindness was another challenge that was blocking our entire progress...but, we surely would have figured that out faster if we had exchanged more images of what we were perceiving. We send images to each other online all the time, but I never thought to explain processes with images one step at a time until recently. A part of me was worried she'd think I was treating her like a child breaking things down to that level, but all she said was that she was going to try it out.
Hi I’m new. My young son 5yr has been diagnosed with Autism beginning of this year. I’m doing a Autism course to learn more about it. Your videos are very informative thanks!!
I'm an RN with autism, and I don't understand what I'm saying that people don't get. So it's helpful to know what I should be telling people my needs are. Sometimes I think what I need is ridiculous, so I don't ask for it, and then I get really upset when I'm not getting my needs met. So it's helpful to hear this out loud!
Thank you. This video is very helpful. As an autistic ive been having trouble communicating with people. You laid out some pointers I can tell people about how to communicate with me.
For context's sake, I'm an adult male currently undergoing assessment for ASD. While all signs seem to point towards a positive diagnosis at this point, I still don't want to present my comment as if I'm someone with a confirmed diagnosis of ASD. I've found that detail is super important when people ask me questions. People have told me for a long time that I don't respond very well or contribute much when others ask me questions. It's true that I often don't have much to say (and that I often don't know what to say) when people ask questions, but I think a major reason why this happens is because the questions themselves aren't very detailed. If my boss talks to me for half an hour straight and presents all sorts of ideas and plans, but then follows it all up with, "What do you think?", then all I can really think to say in the moment is "it's fine". But if she runs through things and then asks a specific question like "can you think of any risks that would come with option #3?", then I have something to focus on and suddenly I have things to say. The same thing happens when I come home and my wife asks, "how was your day?". It's exhausting to even imagine actually thinking through everything that happened in order to deliver an accurate answer, and so the quickest way for me to get past it is to just go, "it was fine". But if she says something like "I know you were working on X the last few days. What kind of things did you come across going through that today?", then I not only have a much easier time knowing what to talk about, but I'm also usually more interested in talking about it as well.
Excellent video Dan. I'm autistic and ADHD too and hoping to start my own channel soon. Communication is a two-way street, so I think it's unfair that autistics often get blamed for miscommunications when it works both ways. Definitely helps to explain how we're wired to communicate. I particularly like the asking for feedback option. Cheers ☺
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
I am occasionally being told by some people that I am "fascinating" and that "they'd like to get to know me better". So, I have two issues here: 1) What does "fascinating" imply? Especially prior to realizing I'm (most likely) autistic, I genuinely did not comprehend what they were getting at. I'd love an elaboration. 2) They would "like to get to know me better" -- in my head that sort of indicates that they will reach out. Yet they never do, and I am left confused because, aren't you gonna follow through with what you've told me? Yet, my friends have said that this is likely an invitation for me to reach out to them. Which has it's own set of issues: 2a) how am I supposed to know that, without them telling me? Words that are unambiguous to them, are not to me. 2b) why am I suddenly responsible for acting on something they are feeling? I hear this all the time, and I wonder: "do some people's phone-line only go one way?" Message me; call me; get in touch! I'd assume that, when people want something, they're gonna do it.... So yeah, having realized this about myself will likely help me in social situations, as I now know to ask for more details and speak up about the parts which I do not understand.
Yea, the autumn feel in Midwest USA. Your the best, right on, for are challenges. I share your videos but feel I'm hitting my head against a wall. The older I get the harder it gets simply because I give up on dealing with neurotypicals. Thankfully my sons are supportive and accompany me on trips but it's frustrating trying to educate neurotypicals who don't seem to have any interest in learning. I'm a a retired medical professional and understand that the tightrope is thin. My sons are my heroes and far surpass any neurotypicals I know.
Oh my gosh I love the emoji idea! I have always felt unable to communicate my feeling or feeling others, and all I could say is I don’t know. Thank you! I am new
This is based on the supposition that someone wants to communicate with us...however, I Love 'seeing' what you are saying to understand myself in unsuccessful interactions with 'them'.
Loving your videos, the information, giving people & teachers knowledge of how autistic people communicate & understand. I believe teachers need more training on how to deal & teach people on the spectrum.
I have a standard speech I give to people I need to work with. If I hire a cleaning person, etc. "I say what mean. I mean what I say. And I need others to do the same. Don't try to read between the lines. Because there is nothing to read. I tend to be blunt and to the point. Try not to be offended by that. And I'm not easily offended by it either." This very quickly and easily tells them most of what they need to know about my communication style. The only other things that sometimes comes up is my learning style. Information has to be given to me slowly. If you try to rush through it, you are just wasting everyone's time. Because it doesn't matter how many times you repeat it, I will not follow what you are saying. But if you take the time to go over something at a more reasonable pace, you will probably only need to do it once. Because I have incredibly good long-term memory. So, it tends to be a tortoise and the hare type of situation. Slow and steady wins the race. While I may need to put more effort into learning something initially, I only need to do it once. So, over time, I can accumulate a huge amount of information. But a number of things you said don't really apply to me. I have attention deficit, but I can focus on one thing at a time effectively. I can't multi-task, but I can focus on one thing. Typically at the exclusion of all else. And when I'm dealing with someone in person, I'm very good at reading their emotions. The problem is that while I know what they are feeling, I may not understand why they are feeling it. I lack the social context to sort that out. It's much harder when reading text to figure these things out and a little better than that when speaking on the telephone. So, I prefer face to face contact, when possible, to gather more information. I also don't have a problem with eye contact. Not exactly. It's just not as important to me, and so I often forget to do it. Unless I specifically want to read a person's emotions or if I want them to read mine. To demonstrate that I'm being truthful, for instance. I'll make eye contact when I'm speaking to a police officer, at a job interview, etc. But I won't bother when I'm paying for my groceries or doing other mundane tasks. The other thing to keep in mind is that I am in data collecting mode when speaking to someone. There is a processing delay. So, I will listen to what you say, and then hours later I'll fully understand the ramifications of it. Maybe it will come to me while I'm in the shower or when I'm relaxing in my recliner. So, my understanding of what you said can improve over time.
Wife of an Aspie- one of the things I do, tell him what I need done and walk away to allow him to process that information. I will also text over call and send pictures of house changes before he gets home, so he, again, has time to process them.
Details, details, details.. so important. I'm autistic with ADD, but I've also got aphantasia and no internal monologue. It's maddening. It's so hard to find ways to help improve communication with this combo.
Hey dan i absolutely love your channel. I found your channel this year as I was struggling with sensor issues and have been now diagnosed with complex PTSD and possible ASD - I am currently waiting for assessment. I am 39 yr old female in Canada and it has been a positive life change to figure out why my whole life I’ve struggled. Would love to get some direction from you about late adult diagnosis - the self discovering of your ASD symptoms and how to move forward with out being overloaded.
All my life I have always been blunt, to the point, and questioned everything. I like people being like that for me too. But that doesn’t always happen. People can be wordsmiths and confuse the💩out of me otherwise.
You might be interested in learning about consciousdiscipline.com if you haven't already. It's been a big help for from toddlers to young adults, without and with, autism on all levels of the spectrum. As always, I wish you well.
Does anybody share my experience? I'm autistic and my brother isn't. Now, my brother is just the worst person I know at communicating with an autistic person. He will blur any information. I have to ask him for every single detail, like: what day does the train leave. What hour, what minute, what station and platform, etc. It's just terrible and it feels as if he almost taught himself how to confuse me as much as possible.
I empathise with your experience, big league! I have an older sibling who told me the other night that she hasn't got the patience to regularly remind herself (whenever I have problems with getting my point across) that I am autistic and to have some respect for me and thus wind her neck in. In other words, she finds it easier to snap and shout at me, cutting through my side of the conversation or she talks to me like an automaton (or Basil Fawlty talking to Manuel in Fawlty Towers). It was chilling.
Worse thing is everyone telling you to get medicated to make life easier....what they forget is that it makes life easier for them but not better for me...again, be you...but not too much that we'd notice... 😔
@@SuperGingerBickies That's a bit like my experience. It's saddening when you see in front of you how people refuse to change even the least bit to make things easier for everybody.
@@DeeLuscious I will never accept to get medicated in order to be like "the rest". I will only get medicated if it helps me to cope better with myself.
Hi Dan I'm new. I'm an NT in love with an aspie. I'm trying to learn how to communicate more efficiently with him. I liked your ideas for communicating, I recently tried writing him letters about how I feel so he can see the actual word and connect it. I thought it would give him time to read it and react in his own time. It was really effective. I was able to ask him for feedback through the letters, if he felt like it and by the second letter he ventured out and actually gave me the first definite feedback I've had in years.
I started watching your videos after seeing you on how to adhd ( I have adhd) and I now watch your videos a lot more after my son has been diagnosed with ASD. My son is almost 4 and he doesn’t understand who,what,when and where questions his response is “okay” this video is very helpful as a mum just starting to lean more about ASD we often don’t know how to help ( he hasn’t started therapy yet diagnosis was only about a month ago.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
I am just beginning to work with autistic children. And 1 child I work with is non verbal. So I’m trying to teach them sign language . Eg. I hold a ball in my hands then sign ball and point or hand her/ him the ball. I’m going to try working with pictures as well.
Thank you Dan! Great video. I may need to go watch again and take notes. I am a future Special Education teacher and I have an amazing son who is on the Autism spectrum. I can definitely relate to what you are saying through communicating with him. Pictures are very important to him, he loves details and yes paying attention to the environment when I am communicating with him is critical. He is not going to get a thing I say if it's too distracting of an environment.
You might be interested in learning about consciousdiscipline.com if you haven't already. It's been a big help for from toddlers to young adults, without and with, autism on all levels of the spectrum. As always, I wish you well.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
Thanks for all the love!! Please follow me on Instagram instagram.com/theaspieworld
Love your videos Dan
sorry to be offtopic but does anybody know a tool to log back into an Instagram account?
I stupidly lost the account password. I would love any help you can offer me!
@Musa Amir Instablaster ;)
@Omar Nova thanks for your reply. I got to the site on google and Im waiting for the hacking stuff atm.
Looks like it's gonna take quite some time so I will get back to you later with my results.
@Omar Nova it did the trick and I now got access to my account again. I am so happy!
Thanks so much, you saved my account :D
"Be as detailed as possible."
YES. Please, PLEASE do this. PLEASE.
✌🏼💚
One simple thing that always bugs me is when people set a date for something and don't mention the day it is on.
Yes! Don't just drop hints expecting me to automatically pick them up.
PLEEEEEEEASE lol I really need details
@@MrEpsilonEagle or the time and place and it feels like you’re asking too many questions when you ask so you feel annoying no to everyone but it’s literally necessary informations so you shouldn’t feel bad for asking but aaaaaa
As someone with ASD, I prefer communication that is straight to the point, as detailed as possible, and devoid of negative emotion. I melt down every time I deal with angry people.
Me to anger or authority figures so make me overloaded
I agree with you 100% - also, I'm someone with ASD.
Thank you so much for the comment!
I think you'd find that most people, ASD or not, prefer to not deal with angry people. Depending on the level of anger we all feel threatened by angry people because that is what anger is communicating: a threat. I understand that you mean you are even more sensitive to that, but my point is that ASD people are not alone in feeling that way. You will find allies among neurotypical people on this subject.
My ex-husband knew perfectly well that his shouting at me made me feel like the world was crashing down on me, but it never seemed to stop him from doing it.
There are a lot of people who are often angry and feel entitled to express that anger any time they feel it. They may also feel like anyone who protests their anger is trying to control them and then frustration is added to the anger. You are within your rights to avoid them, no matter what they say about it, or what their relationship is to you. It is not a failing on your part. It is simply how you are and it's incompatible with people who habitually communicate with aggression.
It's not just anger for me(or for anyone else who's curious about this phenomenon), its based from straight up fear in situations when someone is not just angry but your afraid for your own saftey or that of your family or friends. That's why I always consider my options in situations like this(leave the situation if you can if you can't don't be afraid to defend yourself, your pack and your property. I live in the United States where there are some parts of the country you can claim "self defense" and others that are NOT COVERED so you have to know your rights based on where you live.) I had a family memeber who by cultural background would get up in my face when angry so I know all too well.
My wife is autistic so this sort of content is invaluable to me. We've been together 12 years and I'm still constantly learning about autism and how it affects her and our relationship. You're first point is absolutely spot on. Patience, patience, patience. But she's my best friend and I love her madly so having patience with her isn't usually too hard to do!
Dru Pritchard we must clone you!😂
This was so cute.
I tried to get my partner to watch some of these videos with.me.to help better our relationship and he just won't. How do you go about getting someone to understand how much it means. How was your partner able to convince you
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Just enjoy it. They're usually known for falling out of love quickly like flipping a switch. My fiancee decided he didn't love me anymore and I had to call and cancel our wedding. We'd been together 9 years and 5 months. He has aspergers and broke up with me 2 days after my mamaw died. I'm adhd and not on the spectrum I now see people with aspergers in an entirely different light. I now suffer from cassandra syndrome as a result from being in that relationship.
All of these, plus the most important for me: Say exactly what you mean. Don't imply something and expect us to get it. This would prevent 99% of the fights between my NT husband and me.
THIS. RIGHT. HERE.
My mom is horrible about this, she's always hinting, implying, and making passive aggressive comments. These types of things confuse me, frustrate me, and overall stress me out often to the point of melting down. She'll say something is fine but her voice says otherwise and if I try to ask her what she really means she gets angry. Or I'll say something and she'll assume that I'm implying something when I really just meant exactly what I said. It causes so many fights.
@@arandomstartreknerd7261 She better start realizing then that she's only gonna be worth the insurance payout when her time is due if she keeps this up. My father is the same and I even admit a couple times when he got in my face I did kick him in the groin so if I ran to my room he wouldn't follow me and break down the door. I have even told myself even though live alone now that I do deserve early inheritance for a decade of insults including sexist and ableist comments and a death threat after I started my new job from HELL straight outta college. Part of me won't expose him due to my health insurance being under his work and his status in the community. He's trying to make an effort but I still don't trust him.
@@riannamajzoub5241 If early inheritance was due, you surely deserve it. This psychological aggression should be compensated... and if money is what you need... then... Really could that you still managed to do you, get a job with all this violent behavior you didn't deserve !
I have the same problem in my romantic relationships
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
A good rule of thumb is to email or text instead of calling. Phone calls are often intrusive and timed inconveniently, prone to static (at least in my experience) and disruptions from background noise, and you can always reread a text or email but you can't for a phone call. Being specific is also very helpful!
This makes sense why my boyfriend wants to mainly text me. We rarely talk on the phone.
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Texts are ill timed too.
It has become absurdly apparent to my husband and I (I suspect he’s on the spectrum, and my diagnosis is in process…!) that we communicate better -nay, AT ALL- through text. Our face-to-face conversations end in frustrated fizzles……. if they even get off the ground at all. I don’t know how we’re going to work past relying on text to get our points across, but for now, at least we’ve opened back up to eachother. ✊🥺
@bekahcassidy7352 you have the option to reply more or less whenever without being put on the spot. You don't have to gauge tone, listen to the person talking, the background noise around you AND the background noise around them.
As a wife of one aspie & mother to another, my best advice for communicating is, if possible, to wait until the aspie has time to listen. Often when my son or my hubby is totally absorbed with something, and then it's better to wait until they are done. Before I realized this I could get so frustrated cuz hubby had said yes to something, and then didn't even remember he'd heard it at all.
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Very true
I would like your advice. I’m working with someone who is autistic, and I really value their friendship. They are incredibly smart and passionate about our company. But, they are very abrasive in tone and volume, they tend to go into attack mode when making their case for some position on a topic even when people agree with them, they seem to be blind to social cues when it comes to to appropriate topics to speak about at work, and they don’t seem to be able to focus on a topic once they’ve lost interest (they literally walk away pms go on their phone, etc).
So, that’s not great for the workplace. I’m trying to get people to be understanding. But this is getting extreme and disrespecting towards everyone else. I’m sorry…you can only go so far with “well they are [condition] you’re not allowed to take issue with it”. It’s become abusive and toxic. What would you suggest?
Ever since I know I'm autistic, every time someone asks me if I'm a quick learner or wants to teach me something I tell them "Yeah, but you have to SHOW it to me". When they ask why, I explain that's the way I learn things the fastest and it will spare us both time and energy because the chances I'll have to bother you with questions afterwards will be a lot smaller.
I feel like doing this from an early age would help NT learn faster soon.
@@ThoughtCriminal. what is NT?
@@Stephaniefarrah neurotypical
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
@@Stephaniefarrah NT = Neurotypical ,ND = Neurodivergent
1. Be patient
2. Repeating when needed
3. Use of Images
4. Ask for feedback
5. Explain the detail
Thank you for the summary. Really helpful.
@@yumorules No problem🥰
My son is autisctic and patience is key! He communicates so differently and ive learned so much from him ❤
I really want to learn sign language just for the days where I'm having trouble talking or communicating, but I'm having a lot of trouble remembering the signs and even just getting the signs right.
I use a communication app on my iPad, and a tangible book I can use to communicate with others during a rough time.
I learnt some of the basic signs- very helpful. Some of signs is mime
I have practiced a few key signs (like “full” for “I’ve had too much”) that will be useful for specific situations where I become mute.
I know some people prepare cards in advance for specific situations like that. Or just “summary info” cards, like “I tend to... and need you to...”
I'm a disability support worker (in Australia) and find your videos insightful. Talking and listening to individuals helps me build on my knowledge. Everyone is so wonderfully different :)
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Dan, you definitely helped with this video. I have a nurse that sees me once a week. She’s a new nurse and runs around very quickly and talks to me very quickly. I’m deaf so I have to read her lips which I hate but I can’t get her to slow down so that I can picture what she’s talking about and I end up frustrating her and she just leaves. I also have the same problem with my psychotherapist who is supposed to be helping me with my autism but she’s never dealt with an autistic person before. So she keeps asking me to imagine myself in places where I’ve never been and then explain to her how it makes me feel and I have to keep saying that I don’t know because I’ve never been in that situation. I’m going to send this video to both my nurse and psychotherapist and hope that they’ll watch it in order to understand how to deal with me instead of getting frustrated with me. The nurse I had before this new one was perfect. She totally understood me and took her time with me. Wish I could have her back but she works in a different area now. So, I’m trying to teach the new people how to communicate with me. Thanks for making this video. You’re awesome! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Thank you. I'm a counsellor/ psychotherapist and get quite a few clients on the autistic spectrum. Your channel really helps. Keep up the good work!
Holy lord, #5 is the biggest one for me. I can't deal with a conversation when there are no details being given. I can't deal with life without the details being given. I've stopped talking to people because they aren't giving me the information my brain needs.
I understand 😊
Thank you. My friend has Autism and I want to learn how to be around him. Not meaning treat him differently but get a better understanding of his world so I can avoid things that are wrong.
I do ask him certain things I want to know but also taking steps to learn more on my own. Really cool person and hope to not hurt or disrespect him if I can.
Hey Dan, I'm new. 42 years of marriage and I am finnally understanding that my husband and I are both on the spectrum! Your site has really helping us to communicate so much better! It has really helped to lowered our stress levels. Its like we have finnally found the planet we are from. I am also dyslexic and ADHD. For me, I like your fast talking. I think with pictures too!
🥰💗
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
"Audio input device" man I love that metaphor so much
I do agree with you with most of what you said, especially with having patience with the question asking and the need to add more details right from the beginning. I used to drive my supervisors at work crazy with repetitive questions, and was told once that if I asked another question I would be fired. I just wanted to do a good job, and not get in trouble for misunderstanding what I was supposed to do. At my old job the rules changed often and you did not know you broke a rule until afterwards. Now I know that I have another reason for my constant questions.
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Your videos have helped me immensely. I'm going for my official testing in October. Thanks again.
I started the process nearly a year ago
@@carmamaher Best wishes to you and I hope you find the answers you're looking for. 😊
Best wishes to everyone in this thread for pursuing assessment and I hope each of you finds the answers you're looking for, no matter what those answers are. 😊
I just started to work with children with severe forms of autism, and this is the first video I have come across. So thank you for making the video.
Thankyou for what you are doing Dan. Seriously mate your doing something genuinely kind here. You've help me understand my little brother so much and am looking forward to being able to communicate better with him. 👍
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
I love all my ASD kids. With them, my mask drops, I can be myself more easily and they get what I’m trying to teach. Ever since I accidentally outted myself at work (for advocating for them at a meeting) I have gotten quite a lot more ASD in my swim classes.
I got this herbal supplement from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism now.
Thank you so much for this. Everything is 100% on the spot. I'm actually going to try to get my manager at work to watch this, because I really do love my job, but it gets really difficult and frustrating sometimes because of things that are really avoidable and easily fixed. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dang only 9 comments? This channel helped me with my autism so much, this better get like a million views in 3 minutes
I train dogs for autistic kids. I find learning about their personal positive likes and hobbies and switch up my analogies to fit those criteria. I have aspergers myself and I think its actually a powerful tool because I have nk problem saying whats on my mind to the parents so I don't hit speed bumps in the training and im not accidentsucking more money from them.
You might be interested in learning about consciousdiscipline.com if you haven't already. It's been a big help for from toddlers to young adults, without and with, autism on all levels of the spectrum. As always, I wish you well.
Wonderful! Have you read the book 'Toby and Sox'? You are one of the Autistic Emergency Services, believe me.
I'm a middle-aged adult who was late-diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum who finds having a dog (though not an actual autism assistance dog) makes my life bearable, eases my anxiety and is the best friend in the world. My GP encouraged me to get a dog not just for the exercise but also for the benefits I've mentioned. I wish you peace and all good with your endeavours.
Oh man that sounds like a cool job!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
This was so useful. Yesterday I told my son (who may have asd & adhd) that he needed to clean the sofa up after himself. I meant to put cushions and throws back on and not leave them on the floor. He freaked out thinking I meant he had to clean the actual sofa! And these things keep happening. I can see now that it's my lack of detail. Thank you!
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THESE TIPS!! I'm new to your channel. I'm a CNA and just picked up a new client with autism. I usually do geriatrics (65+) but this one is pediatric. She's a sophomore in high school and has cerebral palsy. I realize this isn't what your case is, however, there are other students in the class with level 3 autism. I've been doing research on autism and how to communicate with them. I've liked and subscribed already ☺ keep the tips coming!!!
Thank you, you changed my life. The funny part is it took me a while to understand ADHD wasn't my only problem with communication
Professional working with autistic clients, thank you
I’m a COViD vaccinator and I’m vaccinating tomorrow in the Autism clinic…. Thank God I found this video… Thanks bro
Curious: how’d that go?
@@andreagriffiths3512 it was lovely, great learning experience too.
This is spot on! My adult son and I both benefit from these tips, especially patience, visuals and lots of details! I’m a late self-diagnosed autistic and these videos and other related content have been invaluable in helping me and my husband help our son and helped me discover my own neurodivergence. Thank you! 😃
Oh goodness ! U sure talk fast! Thanks for the video! I hope u know how important for society your videos are! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
That’ll be the ADHD
Thank you Dan. I'm newly diagnosed as an adult. my husband & I just celebrated 37th anniversary. I asked him to watch this and he said wow that explains a lot and he'll try to use these tips. What always happens is he'll ask me to take care of something (and it's not just him of course) and I misunderstand, f it up, and then I feel bad bc I misunderstood and I get defensive. So thank you! I learned what I need about communication and my hubby did too!
Love your videos Dan 🙌🏻🥰 wish everyone who's has autistic people in their lives would watch this...
Yay!! Thank you!
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
I came here for advice for how to communicate with autistic coworkers, but now I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum myself. This all makes sense.
Your specific yet brief set of rules here is awesome. I'm going to try and get my roommate/father figure/best friend to watch this. I feel he doesn't understand me and our communication is so out of whack that everything we do together is exhausting!😩 Great video I hope it helps me.🤞 Thank you
I'm new btw
So right! Before I realised my son is asperger, I was talking to him same way as with my older daughter, assuming he should understand simple tasks. And it was kind of frustrating whe he still didn't do the task and with luck of my patient we had some rough times. Then I realised, he needs fine details to be explain, all reasons why task should be done, listen carefully for all he has to say, and I finally got the pattern how to communicate with my son 😄 then some teachers and his dentist gave me a tip that he might be on spectrum, I started to learn about it and boom, suddenly I got ALL the patient I need 😄 it's like magic, when you realise that person is on spectrum and you learn to adjust to their personality, it is so much easier to be calm and patient. Plenty to learn for me yet, but I can see how my son appreciate what I do, and our relationship got much better, because I try to make his world a bit more clear for him, at least at home, I hope 🥰 thank you for all information you share with us ♡
I personally find asking for feedback from my work colleagues daunting. I have self confidence issues and I have found its easier to just ask "can you tell me if I have done something wrong ?" or "what have I done wrong for your reaction ?" I do however also find they talk to me in a child like way and a smile as if they are joking with me. I cannot read the situation with weird facial expressions which make no sense to the things they say and I find it confusing as it then does make me want to react in a tantrum and storm off as it just simply does not make sense. So I end up viewing situations as always my fault, as clearly would not happened if I was not working there.
I'm so sorry that's happening to you. Some people can be real jerks.
I totally concur with you.
What don’t you create a feedback email so they can email you when they are happy to like a suggestion box. Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
I am 35 and just finally met the leader I needed. We come out of meetings and I can ask him to describe other people's emotions during the meeting and point out physical cues to help me detect them in the future. We also discuss what is an appropriate reaction to those emotions and work on a "programmed" response to avoid me putting my foot in my mouth. Its been helpful and people have been enjoying working with me more. I still dont quite get it but...im getting there!
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
I have a cousin who is on the spectrum. This is so helpful for me to know how to help her be comfortable and happy. Thank you. ❤
Wow. Another very useful video. People could also note, when I ask them to repeat, that's what I want: the exact same thing, once again. If the problem was something else, I would say can you rephrase that. If you change what you say each time you "repeat" it, you'll just create confusion.
Just be direct !!
Best on. 2nd time watching this one. Husband Aspie. Had breakdown and left. Pastor w/church of Autism of all ages. Tight, interesting group. We are survivors and learn to help each other. Exciting.
Thank you so much for the comment!
A video about communication strategies when both people in a relationship are autistic and ADHD would be helpful. My girlfriend and I are both autistic and ADHD and have difficulties in areas of communication. Knowing when it's our turn to speak, interrupting, listening, understanding the others emotions and feelings, misinterpreting what has been said negatively, etc.
I'm new to ASD and your channel. My son was diagnosed about 10 years ago and we are going through the diagnosis process right now for me so I'm not 100% legit yet but I swear! I watch videos like this and I have made some Autistic friends and, after 30 years of varying diagnosis, I finally feel like I've found my tribe. I see myself in the Autism community and it is helping me grow much closer to my son, who is 18 now. Thank you for all the education.
Love to see in the time slide about what topic you’re talking at that specific time. Btw so much thanks for making these vids, they really helped me so much.
Yay!! Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
My 23 yr old son is extremely argumentative.......hes always right......and when he was in school, he never talked about his family....he only talked video games
Wow I am 25 unemployed autistic and I am indian
We have no support for autism here in india
Neurodiverse people suffer so much in india
Whole life I've been backstabbed betrayed n taken advantage of
Non sense people
MY NEGHBOR HAS AUTISM/ASBERGER . YOU ARE A GREAT HELP!!!
wind moving in the trees though!! Dude, that is so on point!
I have trouble with communicating quite a bit normally I will go dead silence and won't know when it is my turn to speak or I'll do the opposite and butt in maybe with a topic that's irrelevant but everyday I'm learning thanks Dan for putting up some great videos
My 4 year old grandson has a speech delay, he is just now beginning to talk. He Stimson, has melt downs, and lots of other things. I'm trying to learn all that I can.
I just recently started following your channel, like a week ago or something like that. Probably more like a few days ago. I’ve got an appointment scheduled with my doctor on Wednesday to talk with him and see if maybe he can at least point me in the right direction to be clinically diagnosed with Asperger’s. My girlfriend had mentioned something along the lines of “what if you have Asperger’s?”, and it hit me pretty hard to see she’d even noticed something like that about me because for one, I always knew I was a little bit different, which everyone is different, but the way i was disciplined growing up with adhd (which I hadn’t even discovered until I was around 16-17) - I was essentially disciplined to suppress certain ticks and behaviors that I had as a kid, and I hadn’t even realized that til I sat down and started watching your videos. I’m 99% sure I have Asperger’s, but finding out at 28 years old definitely left me feeling a type of way. i literally balled my eyes out after watching only like two of your videos. I used to wonder all the time, “what if I have some form of autism”, and i hadn’t really put much thought into it at all until after I totaled my car in January of 2018 and left the hospital with a concussion that was so under diagnosed that my family wouldn’t believe me when I told them I died in that car accident and was left looking at myself with the choice “should I stay or should I go”. That experience changed my life forever, but for the better, of course. Anyways, after that wreck, the recovery process from the brain trauma took me for a spin, and immediately after leaving the hospital I felt like i was seeing myself for the first time, thoughts and all. Then all this stuff started to sink into perspective and I wondered if maybe I was this way because of the car accident, but when I brought it up to my mom about it she brushed it off as if it were too late to even consider, and considering my little brother has adhd along with high functioning autism, I just suppressed the idea thinking I was just crazy. I have adhd, ocd, dyslexia, ptsd and was diagnosed with bipolar (which I personally don’t believe that’s even something that should be treated with medicine, especially after my experiences with the meds I was prescribed to for it). My point is, I’m SURE that I have Asperger’s, I just need that confirmation to know how to go about taking care of myself, my mental health and for the clarity of how to go about my every day life. sorry this is such a long comment lol. It feels good to be able to let all this out. Thank you for your videos and all the time and effort and energy you put into your channel. I truly believe you’re making a difference in so many lives and the authenticity of your overall channel is incredible to see. #SoGrateful
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Hey there Dan. Thanks so much for this video mate. I recently was diagnosed as having suspected ASD, as well as severe ADHD inattentive disorder. I will however be undergoing another assessment as I feel I am actually on the spectrum (not just suspected). This video will help my family and my wife so much. I know it was posted a while ago but it has just cleared the air for me immensely. Cheers again mate.
I am going to train an aspy person today for employment at the company where I work. Thank you for your guidance. 🙏🏻
Hope it went wrll😊
I’m a teacher and a new ALNCo and I am finding your videos really interesting. Thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge. 😊😊😊😊
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
Thanks! I just discovered that my dad and I are autistic, and this was truly helpful. Thanks for sharing and greetings from Mexico
Thanks Dan.... your approach is amazing thanks again for another informative video
how is this guy not at 1 million subs yet?
Haha thanks!!
Communication delays maybe.
This channel is growing on me, and is now a major resource to me.
I'm a teacher on the Autistic Spectrum, and will try to communicate some of these strategies to my co-workers, as I'm currently working to create a give and take situation, versus the present where it is often me being told, "You communicate in a way that makes people uncomfortable, you need to change that." The teachers at my school tend to be good with ASD students, but somehow the same with colleagues is harder.
I was a classroom teacher but needed a break so am subbing. I found long term assignment and took it needing the money. I was never told I'd be put into a self contained mod severe. Not as an Aide, as the teacher. With 6 non verbal children. There is one Aide and there used to be another, but 3 of the kids are supposed to be 1:1, so I guess they were never meeting ratio at this school. The only plans left were minimal, vague and the "emergency sub plans" were not pointed out or labeled in a visible way. There was a step file folder holder with the tabs labeled Monday, Tuesday, etc. in pencil. Inside was just worksheets. No explanations of how to get that material comprehended for the kids. Aide says it's too high-level. Teacher left no guide for how elicit communication from them. There were no procedures for when they get overestimated and such.
I am on high alert that somebody is going to get smacked (I've already seen a girl get hit by our hitting boy) let alone having to take the blame. When I have NO training.
They don't even require you to have teaching experience in order to be a substitute. It's lucky that I do.
Staff act like I'm supposed to just be patient and flexible as a solution, like those two qualities will make everything okay. People have made comments suggesting it should just come naturally.
I feel this whole situation is inappropriate and unsafe and unfair!
Can you please advise?!
@@jupiterg9813 I would suggest writing out what it is that you want, and what you need to effectively execute your job as concise, concrete, and true as possible.
Then sit down with your employer and discuss it. If they are not willing to aid you in executing your job as well as you could, and no changes are made or compromises are found within a reasonable time frame you might want consider leaving. (Provided that is possible within the constraints of the contract.)
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
Your videos are awesome and helpful too.
I’m a professional AS. I find I get impatient w people who don’t get to the point. Just be straightforward. Idk people have such a time w that.
Thanks for sharing. My friend and I had a communication problem a while back and it was because I had wrongly believed that they grasped something I had explained to them months prior. I got wrapped up in thinking that they hadn't been listening to me at all during the entire span of the months I tried to help them learn something when that wasn't the case. Ultimately we found out that partial colorblindness was another challenge that was blocking our entire progress...but, we surely would have figured that out faster if we had exchanged more images of what we were perceiving. We send images to each other online all the time, but I never thought to explain processes with images one step at a time until recently. A part of me was worried she'd think I was treating her like a child breaking things down to that level, but all she said was that she was going to try it out.
I'm a HR professional and will be interviewing a team member on the spectrum. Thank you so much!!
I have a 15 year boy who is on the autism spectrum. I have learned alot for wacthing ur videos.
That was helpful thank you!!
Hi I’m new. My young son 5yr has been diagnosed with Autism beginning of this year. I’m doing a Autism course to learn more about it. Your videos are very informative thanks!!
I'm an RN with autism, and I don't understand what I'm saying that people don't get. So it's helpful to know what I should be telling people my needs are. Sometimes I think what I need is ridiculous, so I don't ask for it, and then I get really upset when I'm not getting my needs met. So it's helpful to hear this out loud!
Thank you. This video is very helpful. As an autistic ive been having trouble communicating with people. You laid out some pointers I can tell people about how to communicate with me.
For context's sake, I'm an adult male currently undergoing assessment for ASD. While all signs seem to point towards a positive diagnosis at this point, I still don't want to present my comment as if I'm someone with a confirmed diagnosis of ASD.
I've found that detail is super important when people ask me questions.
People have told me for a long time that I don't respond very well or contribute much when others ask me questions.
It's true that I often don't have much to say (and that I often don't know what to say) when people ask questions, but I think a major reason why this happens is because the questions themselves aren't very detailed.
If my boss talks to me for half an hour straight and presents all sorts of ideas and plans, but then follows it all up with, "What do you think?", then all I can really think to say in the moment is "it's fine". But if she runs through things and then asks a specific question like "can you think of any risks that would come with option #3?", then I have something to focus on and suddenly I have things to say.
The same thing happens when I come home and my wife asks, "how was your day?". It's exhausting to even imagine actually thinking through everything that happened in order to deliver an accurate answer, and so the quickest way for me to get past it is to just go, "it was fine". But if she says something like "I know you were working on X the last few days. What kind of things did you come across going through that today?", then I not only have a much easier time knowing what to talk about, but I'm also usually more interested in talking about it as well.
Great tips!
I love ur channel I have possible aspie so ur channel helps!
smart tips, thank you.
Lol. When i was a kid (wayy before i knew about my autism) i always sent/gave people notes, and then in school, i emailed my teachers sooo much
Another great video
Excellent video Dan. I'm autistic and ADHD too and hoping to start my own channel soon. Communication is a two-way street, so I think it's unfair that autistics often get blamed for miscommunications when it works both ways. Definitely helps to explain how we're wired to communicate. I particularly like the asking for feedback option. Cheers ☺
There is permanent herbs to improve and heal autistim. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo TH-cam channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills. He is now verbal, responding to name and instructions
I am occasionally being told by some people that I am "fascinating" and that "they'd like to get to know me better". So, I have two issues here:
1) What does "fascinating" imply? Especially prior to realizing I'm (most likely) autistic, I genuinely did not comprehend what they were getting at. I'd love an elaboration.
2) They would "like to get to know me better" -- in my head that sort of indicates that they will reach out. Yet they never do, and I am left confused because, aren't you gonna follow through with what you've told me? Yet, my friends have said that this is likely an invitation for me to reach out to them. Which has it's own set of issues:
2a) how am I supposed to know that, without them telling me? Words that are unambiguous to them, are not to me.
2b) why am I suddenly responsible for acting on something they are feeling? I hear this all the time, and I wonder: "do some people's phone-line only go one way?" Message me; call me; get in touch! I'd assume that, when people want something, they're gonna do it....
So yeah, having realized this about myself will likely help me in social situations, as I now know to ask for more details and speak up about the parts which I do not understand.
Dan your videos are incredible. Love the energy you bring. No official diagnosis but people query if I have it.
Yea, the autumn feel in Midwest USA. Your the best, right on, for are challenges. I share your videos but feel I'm hitting my head against a wall. The older I get the harder it gets simply because I give up on dealing with neurotypicals. Thankfully my sons are supportive and accompany me on trips but it's frustrating trying to educate neurotypicals who don't seem to have any interest in learning. I'm a a retired medical professional and understand that the tightrope is thin. My sons are my heroes and far surpass any neurotypicals I know.
Oh my gosh I love the emoji idea! I have always felt unable to communicate my feeling or feeling others, and all I could say is I don’t know. Thank you! I am new
This is based on the supposition that someone wants to communicate with us...however, I Love 'seeing' what you are saying to understand myself in unsuccessful interactions with 'them'.
Loving your videos, the information, giving people & teachers knowledge of how autistic people communicate & understand. I believe teachers need more training on how to deal & teach people on the spectrum.
I'm leaving a comment just because I like you. Carry on! :)
Very helpful
I have a standard speech I give to people I need to work with. If I hire a cleaning person, etc.
"I say what mean. I mean what I say. And I need others to do the same. Don't try to read between the lines. Because there is nothing to read. I tend to be blunt and to the point. Try not to be offended by that. And I'm not easily offended by it either."
This very quickly and easily tells them most of what they need to know about my communication style. The only other things that sometimes comes up is my learning style. Information has to be given to me slowly. If you try to rush through it, you are just wasting everyone's time. Because it doesn't matter how many times you repeat it, I will not follow what you are saying. But if you take the time to go over something at a more reasonable pace, you will probably only need to do it once. Because I have incredibly good long-term memory. So, it tends to be a tortoise and the hare type of situation. Slow and steady wins the race. While I may need to put more effort into learning something initially, I only need to do it once. So, over time, I can accumulate a huge amount of information.
But a number of things you said don't really apply to me. I have attention deficit, but I can focus on one thing at a time effectively. I can't multi-task, but I can focus on one thing. Typically at the exclusion of all else. And when I'm dealing with someone in person, I'm very good at reading their emotions. The problem is that while I know what they are feeling, I may not understand why they are feeling it. I lack the social context to sort that out. It's much harder when reading text to figure these things out and a little better than that when speaking on the telephone. So, I prefer face to face contact, when possible, to gather more information. I also don't have a problem with eye contact. Not exactly. It's just not as important to me, and so I often forget to do it. Unless I specifically want to read a person's emotions or if I want them to read mine. To demonstrate that I'm being truthful, for instance. I'll make eye contact when I'm speaking to a police officer, at a job interview, etc. But I won't bother when I'm paying for my groceries or doing other mundane tasks.
The other thing to keep in mind is that I am in data collecting mode when speaking to someone. There is a processing delay. So, I will listen to what you say, and then hours later I'll fully understand the ramifications of it. Maybe it will come to me while I'm in the shower or when I'm relaxing in my recliner. So, my understanding of what you said can improve over time.
Wife of an Aspie- one of the things I do, tell him what I need done and walk away to allow him to process that information. I will also text over call and send pictures of house changes before he gets home, so he, again, has time to process them.
Details, details, details.. so important.
I'm autistic with ADD, but I've also got aphantasia and no internal monologue. It's maddening. It's so hard to find ways to help improve communication with this combo.
Hey dan i absolutely love your channel. I found your channel this year as I was struggling with sensor issues and have been now diagnosed with complex PTSD and possible ASD - I am currently waiting for assessment. I am 39 yr old female in Canada and it has been a positive life change to figure out why my whole life I’ve struggled. Would love to get some direction from you about late adult diagnosis - the self discovering of your ASD symptoms and how to move forward with out being overloaded.
Wow, God Bless You man! Now having certain friends on the spectrum. This now gives me much more patience toward that. God Bless You! 🙏🏽
All my life I have always been blunt, to the point, and questioned everything. I like people being like that for me too. But that doesn’t always happen. People can be wordsmiths and confuse the💩out of me otherwise.
I’m a teacher who sometimes work with autistic children and I have an adult daughter who is very high functioning.
BEST INFO EVER!!!
I feel so relieved, thank you 🙏🏽
Your videos have helped me understands my neuro diverse children so much better!
You might be interested in learning about consciousdiscipline.com if you haven't already. It's been a big help for from toddlers to young adults, without and with, autism on all levels of the spectrum. As always, I wish you well.
💚💚
Does anybody share my experience? I'm autistic and my brother isn't. Now, my brother is just the worst person I know at communicating with an autistic person. He will blur any information. I have to ask him for every single detail, like: what day does the train leave. What hour, what minute, what station and platform, etc. It's just terrible and it feels as if he almost taught himself how to confuse me as much as possible.
I empathise with your experience, big league! I have an older sibling who told me the other night that she hasn't got the patience to regularly remind herself (whenever I have problems with getting my point across) that I am autistic and to have some respect for me and thus wind her neck in. In other words, she finds it easier to snap and shout at me, cutting through my side of the conversation or she talks to me like an automaton (or Basil Fawlty talking to Manuel in Fawlty Towers). It was chilling.
Yes, there can be autism that is, or is not inherited from same parents.
Worse thing is everyone telling you to get medicated to make life easier....what they forget is that it makes life easier for them but not better for me...again, be you...but not too much that we'd notice... 😔
@@SuperGingerBickies That's a bit like my experience. It's saddening when you see in front of you how people refuse to change even the least bit to make things easier for everybody.
@@DeeLuscious I will never accept to get medicated in order to be like "the rest". I will only get medicated if it helps me to cope better with myself.
Hi Dan I'm new. I'm an NT in love with an aspie. I'm trying to learn how to communicate more efficiently with him. I liked your ideas for communicating, I recently tried writing him letters about how I feel so he can see the actual word and connect it. I thought it would give him time to read it and react in his own time. It was really effective. I was able to ask him for feedback through the letters, if he felt like it and by the second letter he ventured out and actually gave me the first definite feedback I've had in years.
Girl....RUN. just run!
@@Tambrose0405why you say that ?
I started watching your videos after seeing you on how to adhd ( I have adhd) and I now watch your videos a lot more after my son has been diagnosed with ASD. My son is almost 4 and he doesn’t understand who,what,when and where questions his response is “okay” this video is very helpful as a mum just starting to lean more about ASD we often don’t know how to help ( he hasn’t started therapy yet diagnosis was only about a month ago.
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too
I am just beginning to work with autistic children. And 1 child I work with is non verbal. So I’m trying to teach them sign language . Eg. I hold a ball in my hands then sign ball and point or hand her/ him the ball. I’m going to try working with pictures as well.
Hi friend, thank you for this. I have a new friend in my new workplace and I'm trying to understand more where they are coming from
I am a behavior consultant working with young and old persons who are on the autism spectrum.
Hi Dan Now I can talk to my parents more effectively thanks to your videos
Thank you Dan! Great video. I may need to go watch again and take notes. I am a future Special Education teacher and I have an amazing son who is on the Autism spectrum. I can definitely relate to what you are saying through communicating with him. Pictures are very important to him, he loves details and yes paying attention to the environment when I am communicating with him is critical. He is not going to get a thing I say if it's too distracting of an environment.
You might be interested in learning about consciousdiscipline.com if you haven't already. It's been a big help for from toddlers to young adults, without and with, autism on all levels of the spectrum. As always, I wish you well.
Thank you so much for the comment! Aw that is awesome!! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I also saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for the herbs on TH-cam. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement. My child social skill is good now and response to name has improved too