my family literally told me my hair is getting too long and that i 'look like a girl' when i was starting to feel comfortable with how i looked too :sob:
Cis guys walk with their shoulders swinging instead of their hips. When walking, try to practice keeping your hips pointed forward and your shoulders will automatically swing to compensate :) Hope this helps
I am a transgirl (AMAB) and I've had some of the weirdest dysphoria. For example, my smile makes me dysphoric but my voice doesn't. Wearing masculine clothes makes me dysphoric, but I still wear and love boxer shorts. Leg hair doesn't bother me, but my arm hair does. It so random what dysphoria chooses to care about lmao
Two of my friends want me to have a sleepover with them in December and they’re both girls. I’m non-binary and out of the closet but they keep calling it a girls night. And I’m just feeling dysphoric about having to go to this girls night :/
Ugh I hate that. Just casually being connected to a gender group you don't belong to. The worst thing is that you can't really even correct it, because it would feel like I'm interupting a conversation that was totally not about me just to point it out.
I’m bigender and it’s weird I don’t feel too much dysphoria towards being male but I feel a lot of dysphoria towards not being female, if that makes sense. So I feel weird about gender groups as well, just in a slightly different way in that I feel like I belong to both but don’t belong as well and it’s super awkward
Tbh, I remember having a sleepover with my cousins and my best friend, they did makeup but i did not want too but of course, when you have a mom who tells you that your friends want to have fun with you and it is just one time, you have no choice but, I stayed playing games on the computer while everyone else was doing the sleepover. I never liked sleepovers or tea parties tbh.
I spent a good hour crying when I realized that I probably won’t grow taller than 5’6”. Then I felt dysphoric about crying. Also, I am sometimes lucky enough to not feel dysphoric, but then I worry that I never was dysphoric and will never get to transition. And I cry. And feel dysphoric about crying. . . . FML
Hey I'm a cis gender female who's 5'6 and found out I like guys my height! I specifically dislike dating tall guys - I didn't realize till I tried both. Also loved being able to try on clothes for my cis male ex to find out if they'd fit him :p
Alsooo there's a comedian who specifically hates small guys with tall girls but now she's dating a very short guy :p and loves him just the same. Just saying, even born as a guy you could easily be short and this wouldn't be a dysphoric issue but a being issue. I'm not invalidating okay :) just trying to tell your brain that it's a cis thing too so it doesn't make you different than cis people. Sorry if this rant is annoying instead :p
My dysphoria triggers: - seeing guys in sweaters - stupid annoying bathing suits - "oh WoW lOok *sHE* is now a *yOunG wOmAn*" - "traditional family values" - being sad about my dysphoria and then crying and then getting dysphoric over crying and then crying and then getting dysphoric over crying and then crying...
I have a girl in my class who has my dead name (my new name is in the register as Dan) but every time I hear her name get called, I have like a random spout of dysphoria and it *sucks.*
I get dysphoria over my handwriting, because it's really curly and feminine looking. I was told I have such 'nice, girly handwriting' and since I've just been.... Ehhhhhhhh. And that's lead to hand dysphoria
Oh what a big, big mood. My handwriting is super looped and swirled and I hate it so much. I desperately want to change it but ahhhh I just can't, it's etched into my brain to write like this. Typing too, apparently my typing comes across as really "girly" which just doesn't sit great with me
My handwriting was really curly and fell into that "girly handwriting". What it helped me a lot was trying to change just one letter at a time, it took me almost 6 months to change all the letters that made me feel wrong but it was much more effective that trying to change everything at once. What I did was to pick a letter, write it in a lot of different ways until I found one that didn't make me feel bad and started using it and maybe in a week or two my brain was almost used to write it the new and nicer way. I hope this can help you guys c:
My (cis) boyfriend has a fancy handwriting that you usually don't expect from a guy. It's is curly and straight at the same time. I think it's cool when guys can write like that. I just wanted to share this because it might make you guys feel a bit better :)
Ah, the things that dysphoria likes to latch on to: how I walk, how I talk, how I sit, how I stand, my skin, my eyes, my nose, the books I read, the way I draw, the lip balm I use, the food I like, the instruments that I play, the music I like, the socks I wear, etc
I feel this too. Especially the nose!The nose dysphoria is real. Mine is small and when I was a kid I used to hold it down with a spoon in the hopes that it would grow down more lmao. Needless to say that didnt work. But our noses keep growing as we age, that's the good thing!
shit dude I see so many things like this that just sorta make me realize like "Shit, i kinda have dysphoria over that too and i just ignored it" like my eyes are very feminine, i only wear white socks (because colored ones are too feminine), posture, walking, sitting, lip balm and/or rather the felling that I shouldn't use it because yknow, feminine I guess, etc. dont like apologize or anything!! Most of these things bothered me before and like its almost sorta validating that someone else gets dysphoria over these things (but i'm sorry you have dysphoria!!! it fucking sucks kjsfhal!! Im not wishing dysphoria on you or anyone it just like oh someone else gets that too!!)
@@gavinpotter9286 bassoons are so cool! I feel like all woodwinds (except saxophones and very occasionally clarinets) are female dominated. But I play the manliest instrument of all: the flute.
@@gavinpotter9286 I guess brass is seen as being more masculine because it's louder and more blaring, while woodwinds can be quieter and more mellow sounding
I'm in my mid 30's and just coming to understand that what I've been feeling all of my life is dysphoria. It was confirmed for me when I went out on a date with a coworker that I like and...when he told me I was beautiful and held my hand, I just felt...devastated. Like, being seen as woman in his eyes made me feel wretched. It helped connect the dots to a lot of other incidents. Like the time I was in a friend's bridal party, and had to wear a dress; when I saw a picture of myself afterwards, and I looked SO female...cue a mental breakdown that landed me in a hospital. And all the awful shopping trips and women's clothes. And after puberty, the depression that hit hard. Looking back, it was because my body had (quickly) become obviously female. The running from any kind of intimate relationship because I felt that even existing was lying. I haven't had the language to connect the dots until the past two years. And tonight I have to tell the guy I'm seeing that...hey, the person you think I am is not real. Should be fun. UGgghhhhhhh. I'm so nervous I feel like I'm going to barf.
Oh my gosh Jamie I really feel like schools with a high LGBT or trans population should show some of your videos in health classes. I have several friends who could have benefited from your videos back in middle and high school when they were first transitioning or figuring out they were trans
YES PLEASE SCHOOL DO THIS FOR OUR SAKE!!! (Is now thinking of mentioning this in my presentation to the teachers at my school) {The presentation is about gender and pronouns, it’s supposed to help the teachers understand us better. And give them some more gender accepting language to address their classes with. So they stop say “Ladies and gentlemen” because I know plenty of kid in the school who are NEITHER, me included. Few examples for any teachers out there: General: Students, people, humans, children, folks, ext. Science: scientists (all I have for now...) Language arts: Writers, readers, (all I have for now) Math: Mathmatitions (sorry can’t spell, also all I have for now) Art: Artists, painters, sculptors, ext. PE: gymnasts, runners, athletes, ext. And there are more classes but, this is a lot... (I write books but this is a lot?) My presentation is March 8th so maybe next year I’ll do this for other schools as my high school community project. And slowly we will get better at accepting people. Although my family might be the last I work with on this, I’m not looking forward to their reactions........
lightningmcgee queen, well kind of... a teacher emailed my parents (I didn’t even tell this teacher) I wasn’t ready to tell the yet, but I was forced to anyway, they yelled at me, a lot. But I didn’t really expect anything else from them, honestly the whole family is only ever yelling... then they ignored it, and pretend nothing ever happened. So I brought it up again, well I wrote a letter kind of this and left it at my parents door before I went to school. Then when I got home I was told that my mom’s sister died, so... I was ignored again... Although this time she said she’d try, but not right then because her sister had died. I haven’t brought it up with my parents again after that, but I did talk to my siblings, my sister is really the only one who is actually trying, and I’m glad she is. So yeah I guess I’m out, but some people in my family don’t care, and others are very unhappy about it, and then theirs my sister. I’m glad I have her, but she and I never really got along, just like the rest of my family... It’s just a huge mess, but I mean I’m physically save at least, although from an emotional point of view I honestly don’t know, then again that has nothing to do with being out, now does it? Well have a nice night/day!
@@wolfkid4297 oh man thats crazy. Im sorry. I never did have the courage to come out so im still waiting, but I know my Christian grandma will not be happy about it :/ Im hoping your family comes around soon once they understand have a good night/day
I am not transgender or gay, I just wanted to tell you, from a straight bio and otherwise female, I have watched a ton of your videos and I found them frank and candid and educational. I appreciate your being willing to share your story and I imagine it has helped other transgender people as well as helping non trans people understand. Thank you.
Really, the biggest answer to this is dOn'T fUcKiNg pOiNt iT oUt! Yes, my nose is small and my jaw is weak. Yes, my thighs are huge and my feet are tiny. Yes, my skin is soft and my hands are half-sized. If you know someone is trans, don't point out anything that could cause them dysphoria. Chances are they already know about it, and if they didn't, GREAT! Now they do.
@@Someone-gn4st but as Jamie stated, some people experience dysphoria over strange things, and others do not experience dysphoria over stereotypical things.
Skylar, your best bet is to lead the conversation away from what is causing dysphoria. E.g. if your friend brings up how his hands are too small or her body hair is too thick, a hug (or other show of friendly support, my guy friends would rather punch each other in the arm), affirmation of their gender (doesn't make them any less of a man/woman), and then talk about an upcoming event or a shared hobby.
@@socialdeviant13 I know. I have bad dysphoria over my lips and fingernails. But just as a general rule, don't draw attention to the stereotypical things because a lot of people (including me) are dysphoric about them.
@@Someone-gn4st personally, sometimes I struggle to know exactly what could cause dysphoria. obviously i know to avoid all the big ones, but I would never have thought to avoid talking about someone's hands before this video,.
As a cis guy, I'd love to see a video about gender euphoria (especially as it relates to other people doing validating things,) I have loads of trans friends and would love to be a part of euphoria as opposed to dysphoria
@@himei4004 Not discounting your experience, but I have been told directly by trans people that gender euphoria is a distinct thing and a result of certain confirmations and affirmations of a persons gender.
I feel like it's important to mention that some trans folk don't get dysphoria at all. For example, in the case of non binary people like myself, I don't feel necessarily dysphoric about my body. However, I experience gender euphoria for things that make me feel or look more androgynous. Gender euphoria is just as valid as gender dysphoria.
Thank you so much. I experience more euphoria than dysphoria, so I often question. I feel euphoric about binding my chest, my hair, presenting more masculine, but I only experience slight dysphoria. I could wear bras instead of binders, but Id rather not, bc i like how flat my chest feels and looks.
@@ilikeice450 There is no right way to be trans! There's no correct percentage of dysphoria to euphoria that you need in order to be valid. Whatever you are feeling is real and if you identify as transgender then you are, simple as that.
When I look in the mirror with my shirt off, it doesn’t feel like I’m looking at myself. I feel like it’s not my skin. I feel like it doesn’t belong to me, like I’m expecting something else. I don’t know if that’s dysphoria. When I look in the mirror I don’t see myself, it really feels like I’m looking at someone else. It doesn’t feel right. I feel weird because it doesn’t seem right, like my brain expects to see something else. Every. Single. Time. I get this feeling over pronouns, name, body. I still don’t know if that’s dysphoria. I always expect to look different when I do (like, every time I look in the mirror before showering, my brain always tells me that this time I’ll no longer have a big chest of small waist. It feels wrong, but it mostly feels like I’m looking at someone else and not me.) is that dysphoria? I mean I’ve bought a binder in hopes to fix this feeling. I still don’t know. (Doesn’t help that I’m 14 and everyone tells me that it’s just me being uncomfortable with my body because I’m still growing) idk. I also experience getting so happy, too happy, when I get called a boy or shit like that, since I’ve cut my hair. It feels so good to be male. I’m just confused Edit: the binder is still shipping right now
I think that's dysphoria. When I have my shirt off in the mirror I like to adjust the mirror and stand so the angle is above the chest and it's just my shoulders. It looks like a male shirtless body and makes me feel slightly better before my shower.
I feel the same way!! I’m 13 and people say it’s just puberty and my sexuality is just a phase or I haven’t met the right person. (I’m ace/aro and maybe non bianary)
For me I'm confused about my gender because when I see my body, it DOES feel like my body, but the thing is... I feel like I interpret my body differently than others. They call certain body parts things I don't interpret them as. I know objectively what I'm looking at in the mirror, but it doesn't feel like it's truly what I'm looking at. But.. I also don't really care if I'm referred to as she or not. I hate being called a woman, lady, ma'am, or miss.. love being called 'sir..' I think I'm neutral, if not just ever so slightly uncomfortable, with being called 'girl.' Neutral toward being called he/him. And if someone calls me a man or a boy, it doesn't gross me out like with woman or lady, but it feels like I'd be... lying to them? By letting them think that? Well, more like if I told them I was a boy, I feel like I'D be lying to them. And if they tell someone else I am, I'd be lying to the person they're telling it to by letting them say that. I can't tell if I just hate my body and being called a woman reminds me of it, or if I'm trans and my mind just won't let me view myself as male (or nb) due to I guess internalized transphobia and that's why I don't get gender euphoria. The ONLY gender euphoria I get is being called sir. That feels great.
I'm a trans man and I think the biggest thing for me is my height (a tiny 5ft) and my hands. I have tiny fingers, like 1/4th too small, even for a girl. Thanks for this video, I always love watching you!
I like my height (5'3" and a half) but it's like I get social dysphoria iver this physical thing. I wouldn't want to be taller, but I hate that, it makes me so easily clocked as AFAB. What helps me with it and might help you guys is just looking up some short cis male celebrities.
I don't really know what's with me yet. I have only a little bit of dysphoria that involves my physical body (slender arms, little waist, full lips, sometimes my chest) it's my pronouns that really bother me. Sometimes I'm really comfortable in my skin and love my body, other times I just want to tear myself apart.
@@abandonedchannel1290 i feel the same way, i thought i was the only one! i love when strangers use he/him or they/them pronouns but i feel really uncomfortable when my family uses any pronouns.
I kinda relate to this. Also I am kinda comfortable with seeing my chest as long as I don't think about it, but if I stand in front of the mirror, looking at those two things just hanging there on my body it weirdly feels like they are just glued on or something and I could easily take them off. Then I hate that they aren't even a bit smaller because it is nearly impossible to hide your breast if they are bigger than size d which makes it very difficult for me to experiment with a more masculine presentation because everyone will just see me as a girl.
I have something similar to this. I want to be called by he/they and I feel like I’m too feminine for that. I’m in the closet though so I can’t really do anything like bind or cut my hair. Online whenever I get called by he I get a ton of euphoria and I’m really happy. But in real life it just doesn’t seem as I pass as male/masculine / you have to look masculine to use he/him
I honestly don't know if I have dysphoria. I don't exactly feel feminine in the way people see me, but also not masculine. I feel "dysphoric" over things like my hair, my chest and my waist n stuff and I don't know if that's just me wanting to look different I can't even talk about that with my therapist since nonbinary pronouns dont exist in my country and I would feel even less comfortable with switching pronouns to he/him. I honestly don't know what I should do and if this is just a phase,,,
same this person my friend is friends with always calls me a lesbian because of how "masc" i am (lol weird stereotype that lesbians are masculine) and im just- i dont have anything against wlws im just not a lesbian and i dont like being looked at as a girl
I live in the uk and I’m finally being referred to as “pal” by strangers instead of “love”, most of the time. “Love” makes me dysphoric. oh my that sounds so sad
I personally don't mind nicknames like that but I understand how that'd be dysphoric. I'm Scottish and my Mum calls everyone "hen" so ig I'm just used to it.
Oh dang, I'm southern in the US and use hon, love, buddy/bud, and stranger, as well as the classic "sweetie" all as gender neutral, I had never considered someone being upset by that as an afab guy myself. Something for me to keep in mind, ty!
I have recently realized I am genderfluid, born female, and my hips and thighs really bother me when I identify as male. Mirrors are also a huge problem. I don't want to wear makeup, but my Rosacea is SO bad I feel like I need it. However, I am tall and have broad shoulders and a fairly strong jawline, so I try to focus on those traits when the others upset me. Sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't.
I've struggled with mental health issues along with gender dysphoria for almost 4 years. I'm only 16 and my mom won't listen to any of my concerns or let me talk about starting treatment in any way saying "we can't be moving too fast and too suddenly" or saying "we need to get you mentally stable before we worry about anything else," which I completely understand. The only issue is, a lot of my depressive episodes are linked to being dysphoric and feeling like nothing will ever happen, leaving me stuck in the body I feel like I don't belong in. How should I deal with this? I've told her several times that my depression is linked with me being trans but she always seems to disregard it and continue in talking to doctors trying to see if this is all a result of me being depressed. I know in her heart she doesn't mean to make me feel invalidated but I can't help it when she's constantly researching ways that I could be messed up that causes me to THINK I'm trans. Either way, I need help! I want to start finally living full time as male but don't know how to approach it because of this. It would be very helpful to hear from you Jamie, thank you💛
I understand. I've been out for a little over a year now, but my parents still don't want me talking about my pronouns in public. I also have depression, and I agree that dysphoria can feel like a downward spiral. As hard as it seems, your best bet might be to talk it out with your mom. By the way I read the situation, your mom really does have your best interests at heart.
I'm nonbinary and genderfluid and when I hang out with a group of girls and am refered to as one of the girls it makes me dysphoric. also, for a very particular body part: my upper arms/shoulders. I'm kinda chubby and I would like to be more muscular. I'm also really small (5'1) so when people aren't sure about my gender they will assume I'm a girl because of that.
Can you make more (if dysphoria was a person) videos, the last one was so funny and unfortunately true as well.. Do you make a couple QnA soon? Luv your videos
👍 as a gay older male. I’ve been meeting more trans gender people in the community and your inspiring informational words makes it more easier to communicate and understand was going on in their life. Thank you yes there shouldn’t be any weirdness if you wanna call it. But coming from IA malethat was born a male you make it so much easier to give the respect they deserve
Hi, so I'm not trying to be rude, and I realise it may be autocorrect , but generally transgender is written as one word. Thanks for taking the time to understand though, I'm in no way trying to attack you for a simple mistake. Have a good day:)
I'm bigender, born female. Just, I'm not too dysphoric but sometimes I can't stand myself :(. My voice gives me dysphoria (even if it's already deep) I want it to be more masculine, louder ect. My hands feel a bit to tiny sometimes but I'm really comfortable with my body :/. I'd like to be called "He" AND "She" at the same time but it's a bit hard and tiring to say and explain. I think the worst part is that, on the gender spectrum, it changes really REALLY quickly. I the same week I can feel full girl/boy/NB, half boy half girl ect... And because I'm still a teenager (don't judge me to quickly please) it's even harder to make people understand and accept who I am (I haven't came out to my parents yet -_-). (Also I'm French so excuse me if my English is REALLY BAD)
when he described dysphoria as “euwegeh” i felt that. that was the genuinely most accurate way ive ever heard it be described and i feel weirdly validated.
I feel disphoric about everything; about my tiny hands, my height, my eyes, my mouth, my voice, my actitude, my smile, my legs, my feets, my nose, my hips and my shoulders. I feel like every year it's gets worse, i tried to be positive, but i cant be masculine, it's get me crazy and i don't know what to do about it.
All i want is bottom surgery, top surgery and still have my original curves, and testerstone for deep voice (if i have a deep voice i can have the ability to troll ppl w a high girly voice) I'm a transgender femboy
Oh my gosh, this came up at a funny time. My mom has been telling me how she just doesn’t get why I’m so focused on “this gender thing” and “she never had to think about gender” and “why are you so focused on the name thing!” It’s so frustrating! I tell her it’s legit because I have gender dysphoria, I was diagnosed and everything and she just is like “but IIIIII never had to think about it!” And I’m like yeah, because you’re cis. Cis people rarely ever think about their gender! She also recently has been sharing how weird and “unnecessary” social media is. Like I bring up one bad thing about social media and she’s on my case about how she never had this stuff when she was a kid and people didn’t need to share everything they’re doing and blah blah blah. Like yeah, people don’t need to share everything they do, but if people want to it doesn’t hurt anybody, especially not her!
This was a nice reminder because I used to feel like I got dysphoria over such simple things, but I've since learned not to discredit my own feelings. For some reason my nails used to trigger me all the time. Just by genetics my mom naturally grows these beautiful long nails and before I went on T I used to clip mine right to the base, basically, because I would freak out about feminine hands. Thankfully I'm much better off and my mental health has improved tremendously, but I remember how bad it used to be and it was hard
This is probably gonna get lost but I'm trying anyways.. I am SO CONFUSED over my gender and I don't know what to do. I was assigned female at birth, and I can't remember it bothering me much in my childhood or teenage years. I always hated "princess" themed things, pink and glitter and all that stuff, but being a "girl" never was a problem for me until my young adult years (I'm 20). I get weirded out when I'm called "she" and a "girl", but only some times. I get happy when people call me "he" (I present kinda masculine), but only some times. I want to have a flat chest, but only some times, and for long periods of time I am okay with my breasts. The things that consistently disturb me and make me uncomfortable are my period and the fact that I could technically get pregnant even if I would never want to do that ever. Has anyone ever lived something like that, and how did you figure yourself out? (Also side note, please don't call me a trender or anything, I literally never talk about it and do not call myself trans and I know people have it wayyy harder than me. I repress it most of the time for those reasons but I do think it's kinda unhealthy at this point)
in the same boat here but from the other side. while i can't say I've figured myself out i'm making progress for the longest time it felt like there were two of me one who was okay with being male with some one else sharing my body who wanted to be female she only came out when i was lonely when i had my thoughts to myself. a few years ago the distinction between my "2 selves" broke-apart and now i find it harder and harder to cope but i've re-examined myself and i think that i never actually liked being male i just put up with it and finally after all these years i can't fight the feelings i shoved to the back of my mind any more. think about if you actually like being a girl or if your simply okay with it it's entirely possible that you don't hate being a girl simply because you feel like you shouldn't and are holding back your real feelings.
@@rayshiotile9487 i'm super happy that you're figuring it out!!:) and yeah i do think it's more of a "well it's not the worse" situation than me actually liking being this gender, but i'm so terrified of letting myself explore something else.. thanks for your answer
Like Iva said, it's possible you could be genderfluid, I'm genderfluid and the pronouns thing sounds a lot like my thoughts on pronouns, but you might not be. I hope you figure it out, and good luck!
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily come all at once, for me especially it was very slowly manifesting itself. Although, I realized I was trans when I was like 11, so before I really got dysphoria from anything except clothes. I'd leave it for a while and see how you think of yourself in a year or so, then decide who you are when you feel ready.
im transmasculine (ftm) and one time i was with a group of girls and they started talking about having sex and all was good but then my brain went "now they see you as a girl. good job." and i became crazy dysphoric even though none of them misgendered me or anything... i think my dysphoria and anxiety became friends
I am in my thirties now and have dealt with this feeling nearly my whole life, starting around age 4. I spent a lot of my childhood pretending to be a boy, playing sports with the boys, and idolizing my dad and older brother growing up. I recently quit drinking and this issue has become a huge focal point of my life as I’ve gained some mental clarity on things I need to work on in my life. I don’t necessarily feel transgender, but I have always had a general hatred towards my female body, mainly with my breasts and torso. It’s been a lifelong battle, full of loneliness and sadness. I hope I can work thru this, finally.
Jamie is honestly just so intelligent just the way he speaks and articulates his words and how he is always so informed (obviously in this case he knows the information first hand but I mean just in general he seems very well read) thank you for keeping us educated!!
About hand dysphoria, I find that stretching my fingers and like, tensing them so I can see the tendons is pretty good. Idk how you experiance hand dysphoria tho so it may help, but it may not..
Maybe wearing male accessories like those chunky biker rings could help? Or dunking them in a bowl of warm/hot water to make the veins pop out... Filling down your nails to make them really short... This one might be weird but cracking your thumb? Cause you have to stretch it out and for some reason it might help. Any sort of manual work could make your hands a bit rougher too... Or you could try gently filing the sides of your fingers' joints and your palms from time to time to make the skin feel rougher.
I get a lot of dysphoria because of my hair, since 3 years ago that I have to cut it really often and most of the time even with my hair being really short I feel the need to hide it with a beanie (even on summer when it's 41°C outside). It's really frustrating and a lot of times I've had the impulse to just buzz everything off. The same thing with my face, and it's really weird. I've never thought that my face looks feminine or girly, but at the same time I know that my face is one of the main reason that I get misgendered everyday, so sometimes at my worst moments I have even thought of harming my face to, I don't know, change my features and look differently. A lot of times I have thought that it would be better if I just cover my face in scars or something and the urge to cut my skin is huge. I'm glad that I haven't done anything harmful but damn, I would do anything to change that.
Its been hitting me really hard lately, and its alot of things that I cant control... like my cough, I absolutely hate it,, or my voice in general,, my hips, my chest, my stupid face and my jawline. It leaves me in a mood where i wouldnt want anyone to see me so instead i opt to just not go out
Swimming. That’s a big one for me. I wear just a t-shirt and shorts and when I get out of the water it just sticks to my body. It makes me feel quite horrible. I’m not too sure of it’s body dysmorphia/insecurity or dysphoria though. I’m not self-conscious about my fat and stuff, I’m self-conscious about my feminine figure. Can someone pls help me?
I get dysphoria about my face, my hair, my inability to grow a beard, my hips, my chest (but basically only when wearing masc clothing because I'm mad they don't naturally fit me like they would someone with a flat chest), that bit of chub that estrogen makes you store on your stomach no matter how skinny you are, she/her pronouns and my name when written but not when I hear them out loud, feminine compliments like being called "pretty" from someone who I know thinks of me as a girl, among other things. I'm agender and ideally would look so androgynous that it confuses people, but knowing that most people see everyone as female or male, I'd rather people assume I'm a guy than a girl.
Can do a video on how it felt during the first awkward months on HRT where there are small changes but you still don't pass? It doesn't have to be entirely about this but it can be one of the topics.
Okay so I'm a closed non binary (born female) And it one dinner time for me so I went downstairs without a hoodie on and like a random shirt. That makes me feel dysphoric in itself because of my chest and arms. My mother took one look at me and said "oh look at you. That's a nice shirt, you can actually see your weight. You look so skinny without an hoodie! Its so feminine I love it!" I said to her "but hoodies are confortable-" and she said "yes well sometimes I feel like I have two sons, nice reminder I have a daughter too"... And she wonders why I don't leave my room....
Hi Jamie... I have been following you in TH-cam and also Instagram and I want too whole heartedly thank you sooo much for all of your videos they have helped me too fully understand how I feel on the inside. Also helped me feel no sooo alone and I feel your videos normalise transgender which I think is muchly needed. I have struggled my whole life with gender and sexuality it’s been really confusing. Also I turned too so many destructive behaviours with drugs eating sex relationships etc etc anything to distract myself from the feelings. Also the shame and guilt I feel around it also and not knowing how friends or family will respond either... I am 39 years old now and have started hormones and have yet too still tell certain people but am still terrified. When I come out at 16 as a lesbian it didn’t go down so well... So I ended up saying I was straight it was a phase then bi then tri then gender fluid then none binary because the fear I felt telling them I’m trans was too much to bear.. Even tho my who,e childhood I kept stating I was a boy and got labelled Tom boy which I didn’t understand when I was small I just thought oh that’s my nickname... Life over the next few months going to be different and challenging cuz I have children and I just don’t even know where to start with that.. I have friends in the lgbtq community but I am the only transgender person so I feel like I don’t have anyone to relate or chat with during this time. So watching your videos helps me feel not sooo alone... So thank you! I think your amazing human being your girlfriend is lovely and thank you for sharing your story with the world xx
I hope everything gets better for you! I’m non-binary but I’m only twelve, so things are going to get worse for me before they get better. Watching Jamie also helps me a ton 💕🏳️🌈
i have dysphoria in the way i sit, breath, talk, walk, sleep, i have dysphoria about my chest the most and lower dysphoria i even have dysphoria when i eat *cries*
What’s weird about dysphoria for some people is that when you add or remove a specific physical attribute you have can help beat dysphoria a bit. For example, I cut my hair recently and it made me feel more comfortable with how my face looked (I try to look androgynous, and cutting my hair helped a lot)
dude my literal personality makes me dysphoric, like i will just be minding my business and having fun with my friends and then my brain is just like UR PERSONALITY IS TOO FEMININE 😡🤬🤬 and then my day is ruined
I was gonna talk about my dysphoria but I got distracted by my cat desperately trying to kill a sponge
Jamie this was unexpectedly wholesome in the weirdest of ways thank you
Agame 1573 you’re welcome my little sunbeam ☺️
Jackson Smith haha cute
Did she kill it?! "Nasty sponge always in way, I kill you!"
This just made me chuckle about your cat . great distraction :p
"Mirrors... And their existence." Is a mood.
Wish I could heart react this .
10/10 yes
I was legit in the bathroom a few minute ago and got so angry at my eyebrows just because they were to clean to be boy's.
Yeah there's a HUGE mirror in my corridor and when I'm felling bad I don't even raise my head.
I'm totally pre-med transition and I literally work in a restaurant covered in mirrors. It's fucking torture lol
'Dysphoria doesn't discriminate'
Me: between the sinners and the saints
it takes and it takes and it takes
But we keep dying anyway
And if there’s a reason why I’m non-bin, and all the pain thrives
Then I’m willing to wait for T
@@alessand_ro Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it!
Me: breathes
Dysphoria: your hair is circle girls have circle hair
...circle hair??
my family literally told me my hair is getting too long and that i 'look like a girl' when i was starting to feel comfortable with how i looked too :sob:
Thats so freaking relatable- omfg that makes sense but doesnt at the same time
CIRCLE HAIR AHAHFHEHFH SAME
Me a mesmerized cis girl: circle hair...
i get dysphoric over how i walk because cis guys walk like “stronger” than me. it’s so stupid
^^^ this
Cis guys walk with their shoulders swinging instead of their hips. When walking, try to practice keeping your hips pointed forward and your shoulders will automatically swing to compensate :)
Hope this helps
I wonder if gay cis males also walk “stronger”. XD
Yep same whenever I walk around at school this happens
THIS
"Being naked,,,,, but also.... clothes."
Me:
Dysphoria: lmao ur toes are short
Ryan Knuckles Literally me
Nobody:
Dysphoria: Lmao your neck though
Me:
Dysphoria: lmao ur elbows doe
nobody:
dysphoria: lmao wheres your acne
Nobody:
Dysphoria: the way you breathe is weird try to not breathe
I am a transgirl (AMAB) and I've had some of the weirdest dysphoria.
For example, my smile makes me dysphoric but my voice doesn't.
Wearing masculine clothes makes me dysphoric, but I still wear and love boxer shorts.
Leg hair doesn't bother me, but my arm hair does.
It so random what dysphoria chooses to care about lmao
It's so ridiculous I'm more dysphoric about my ass and eyebrows than my (lack of a) dick
Alphabetical Order
i thought i was the only one with eyebrow and ass dysphoria... i’m probably the only one with eyelash dysphoria though lol
@@alphabeticalorder168 I thought it was only me
My disphoria is a bit like that
Chelsey Davidson see I’m ftm but like if I like something and if something turns out to be branded for girls I’m just turned off of the item
Y'all ever get dysphoria dysphoria? Like not having enough dysphoria?
YES
YES 😭 I HATE IT
YES I GET THAT ALL THE TIME
BRUH ME HOLY CRAP I THOUGHT I WAS JUST DUMBBBB
OMGOG YES
Two of my friends want me to have a sleepover with them in December and they’re both girls.
I’m non-binary and out of the closet but they keep calling it a girls night.
And I’m just feeling dysphoric about having to go to this girls night :/
Ugh I hate that. Just casually being connected to a gender group you don't belong to. The worst thing is that you can't really even correct it, because it would feel like I'm interupting a conversation that was totally not about me just to point it out.
Can you talk to them about it? If they're truly your friends the should understand.
I’m bigender and it’s weird I don’t feel too much dysphoria towards being male but I feel a lot of dysphoria towards not being female, if that makes sense. So I feel weird about gender groups as well, just in a slightly different way in that I feel like I belong to both but don’t belong as well and it’s super awkward
call it a mate date /hj
Tbh, I remember having a sleepover with my cousins and my best friend, they did makeup but i did not want too but of course, when you have a mom who tells you that your friends want to have fun with you and it is just one time, you have no choice but, I stayed playing games on the computer while everyone else was doing the sleepover. I never liked sleepovers or tea parties tbh.
I spent a good hour crying when I realized that I probably won’t grow taller than 5’6”. Then I felt dysphoric about crying.
Also, I am sometimes lucky enough to not feel dysphoric, but then I worry that I never was dysphoric and will never get to transition. And I cry. And feel dysphoric about crying.
. . . FML
I'm a total crybaby lol
I'm 5....'1
@@leviathanspirit3185 I'm 5'2
Hey I'm a cis gender female who's 5'6 and found out I like guys my height! I specifically dislike dating tall guys - I didn't realize till I tried both. Also loved being able to try on clothes for my cis male ex to find out if they'd fit him :p
Alsooo there's a comedian who specifically hates small guys with tall girls but now she's dating a very short guy :p and loves him just the same. Just saying, even born as a guy you could easily be short and this wouldn't be a dysphoric issue but a being issue. I'm not invalidating okay :) just trying to tell your brain that it's a cis thing too so it doesn't make you different than cis people. Sorry if this rant is annoying instead :p
I get dysphoria over my legs shape
Me too! I have really big thighs and thick calves despite being an average weight. It makes me feel disgusting and weird.
Yea me to
same :'(
As a trans girl, same. I really should hit the gym if I want thighs
Me freaking too!
when your nonbianery and someone asks if your a boy or girl
also bathrooms, hair mirrors ectr
luna wolf I always love when people ask that bc it means I’m not passing either way
Bathrooms are always 💀 when you're n-b lmao
B-atiful! It’s not hard go to the bathroom with your biological gender (your only gender) on it
@@Sea-zu4bj no not rly... It can actually cause dysphoria
Nino Lomidze deal with it if you go the wrong bathroom u make others uncomfortable
My dysphoria triggers:
- seeing guys in sweaters
- stupid annoying bathing suits
- "oh WoW lOok *sHE* is now a *yOunG wOmAn*"
- "traditional family values"
- being sad about my dysphoria and then crying and then getting dysphoric over crying and then crying and then getting dysphoric over crying and then crying...
I have a girl in my class who has my dead name (my new name is in the register as Dan) but every time I hear her name get called, I have like a random spout of dysphoria and it *sucks.*
Interesting. I'd imagine I'd maybe get the same but idk anyone with my deadname
Ah yes that's horrible. But I'm slowly starting to forget it I think.
yeh im lucky in the sense my deadname is quite rare and ive not met someone with it but if i did i wouldnt be able to talk to them at all
i’m the same and the worst thing is she’s also my friend :/
Same. At my class there is a girl with my second name and it makes me dysphoric
The TH-cam closed captioning has misheard “peeing at urinals” as “peeing at your idols” and has reduced me to literals fits of giggles!
Thanks same here- xD i cant breath im laughing so hard
@Zodore also y e s
oh my god yes
This made my day
ain't no one peeing at my Jungwoo
I even *heard* it like that and was confused for a sec xD
I get dysphoria over my handwriting, because it's really curly and feminine looking. I was told I have such 'nice, girly handwriting' and since I've just been.... Ehhhhhhhh. And that's lead to hand dysphoria
Oh what a big, big mood. My handwriting is super looped and swirled and I hate it so much. I desperately want to change it but ahhhh I just can't, it's etched into my brain to write like this. Typing too, apparently my typing comes across as really "girly" which just doesn't sit great with me
@@goatking2983 I'm sorry to hear that buddy. Hopefully, we can learn to cope with our dysphoria one day
@@Alex-blue-bianchi hopefully man, hopefully
My handwriting was really curly and fell into that "girly handwriting". What it helped me a lot was trying to change just one letter at a time, it took me almost 6 months to change all the letters that made me feel wrong but it was much more effective that trying to change everything at once.
What I did was to pick a letter, write it in a lot of different ways until I found one that didn't make me feel bad and started using it and maybe in a week or two my brain was almost used to write it the new and nicer way. I hope this can help you guys c:
My (cis) boyfriend has a fancy handwriting that you usually don't expect from a guy. It's is curly and straight at the same time. I think it's cool when guys can write like that. I just wanted to share this because it might make you guys feel a bit better :)
Ah, the things that dysphoria likes to latch on to: how I walk, how I talk, how I sit, how I stand, my skin, my eyes, my nose, the books I read, the way I draw, the lip balm I use, the food I like, the instruments that I play, the music I like, the socks I wear, etc
I feel you on so many levels..
I feel this too. Especially the nose!The nose dysphoria is real. Mine is small and when I was a kid I used to hold it down with a spoon in the hopes that it would grow down more lmao. Needless to say that didnt work. But our noses keep growing as we age, that's the good thing!
shit dude I see so many things like this that just sorta make me realize like "Shit, i kinda have dysphoria over that too and i just ignored it" like my eyes are very feminine, i only wear white socks (because colored ones are too feminine), posture, walking, sitting, lip balm and/or rather the felling that I shouldn't use it because yknow, feminine I guess, etc.
dont like apologize or anything!! Most of these things bothered me before and like its almost sorta validating that someone else gets dysphoria over these things (but i'm sorry you have dysphoria!!! it fucking sucks kjsfhal!! Im not wishing dysphoria on you or anyone it just like oh someone else gets that too!!)
@@gavinpotter9286 bassoons are so cool! I feel like all woodwinds (except saxophones and very occasionally clarinets) are female dominated. But I play the manliest instrument of all: the flute.
@@gavinpotter9286 I guess brass is seen as being more masculine because it's louder and more blaring, while woodwinds can be quieter and more mellow sounding
Me: **existing**
Dysphoria: lmao you don't have balls
I'm in my mid 30's and just coming to understand that what I've been feeling all of my life is dysphoria. It was confirmed for me when I went out on a date with a coworker that I like and...when he told me I was beautiful and held my hand, I just felt...devastated. Like, being seen as woman in his eyes made me feel wretched. It helped connect the dots to a lot of other incidents. Like the time I was in a friend's bridal party, and had to wear a dress; when I saw a picture of myself afterwards, and I looked SO female...cue a mental breakdown that landed me in a hospital. And all the awful shopping trips and women's clothes. And after puberty, the depression that hit hard. Looking back, it was because my body had (quickly) become obviously female. The running from any kind of intimate relationship because I felt that even existing was lying. I haven't had the language to connect the dots until the past two years. And tonight I have to tell the guy I'm seeing that...hey, the person you think I am is not real. Should be fun. UGgghhhhhhh. I'm so nervous I feel like I'm going to barf.
Bluestem oh, that sounds so hard! Good luck with that conversation!
How did it go?
I'm so sorry I'm quite late but I hope that that went well for you ^_^
Good luck! I hope he sees you for you, not just your gender ❤️
How has it gone so far?
It's the worst feeling in the world ... my hips are the worst area for me.
Urgh i hate my hips
*-sighs...-*
Omg I fucking hate those fat pieces of meat!
Yeah my hips and my chest is the worst neck would be a close second
Same I constantly wish mine were wider but no I’ll always have the shoulders of an NFL linebacker
Sometimes im dysphoric about my breathing. Like cmon man
same :-(
Is there like a male and female way to breathe?
Same, it just sounds feminine. I cant really explain it but yeah
@@idiomatic444 omg I feel you, but it's literally impossible to understand if you're not trans lmao
@@kerokeroppii yeah
Oh my gosh Jamie I really feel like schools with a high LGBT or trans population should show some of your videos in health classes. I have several friends who could have benefited from your videos back in middle and high school when they were first transitioning or figuring out they were trans
TeA👏🏻👏🏻
YES PLEASE SCHOOL DO THIS FOR OUR SAKE!!!
(Is now thinking of mentioning this in my presentation to the teachers at my school)
{The presentation is about gender and pronouns, it’s supposed to help the teachers understand us better. And give them some more gender accepting language to address their classes with. So they stop say “Ladies and gentlemen” because I know plenty of kid in the school who are NEITHER, me included.
Few examples for any teachers out there:
General: Students, people, humans, children, folks, ext.
Science: scientists (all I have for now...)
Language arts: Writers, readers, (all I have for now)
Math: Mathmatitions (sorry can’t spell, also all I have for now)
Art: Artists, painters, sculptors, ext.
PE: gymnasts, runners, athletes, ext.
And there are more classes but, this is a lot... (I write books but this is a lot?)
My presentation is March 8th so maybe next year I’ll do this for other schools as my high school community project. And slowly we will get better at accepting people. Although my family might be the last I work with on this, I’m not looking forward to their reactions........
@@wolfkid4297 are you not out yet?
lightningmcgee queen, well kind of... a teacher emailed my parents (I didn’t even tell this teacher) I wasn’t ready to tell the yet, but I was forced to anyway, they yelled at me, a lot. But I didn’t really expect anything else from them, honestly the whole family is only ever yelling... then they ignored it, and pretend nothing ever happened. So I brought it up again, well I wrote a letter kind of this and left it at my parents door before I went to school. Then when I got home I was told that my mom’s sister died, so... I was ignored again... Although this time she said she’d try, but not right then because her sister had died. I haven’t brought it up with my parents again after that, but I did talk to my siblings, my sister is really the only one who is actually trying, and I’m glad she is. So yeah I guess I’m out, but some people in my family don’t care, and others are very unhappy about it, and then theirs my sister. I’m glad I have her, but she and I never really got along, just like the rest of my family... It’s just a huge mess, but I mean I’m physically save at least, although from an emotional point of view I honestly don’t know, then again that has nothing to do with being out, now does it? Well have a nice night/day!
@@wolfkid4297 oh man thats crazy. Im sorry. I never did have the courage to come out so im still waiting, but I know my Christian grandma will not be happy about it :/ Im hoping your family comes around soon once they understand have a good night/day
I am not transgender or gay, I just wanted to tell you, from a straight bio and otherwise female, I have watched a ton of your videos and I found them frank and candid and educational. I appreciate your being willing to share your story and I imagine it has helped other transgender people as well as helping non trans people understand. Thank you.
I will glance at a mirror and just kind of space out for several minutes, like I'm not even consciously thinking. It's not fun.
Video suggestion: how can cis allies help someone who is experiencing dysphoria? (What to say/do and what not to.)
Really, the biggest answer to this is dOn'T fUcKiNg pOiNt iT oUt!
Yes, my nose is small and my jaw is weak.
Yes, my thighs are huge and my feet are tiny.
Yes, my skin is soft and my hands are half-sized.
If you know someone is trans, don't point out anything that could cause them dysphoria. Chances are they already know about it, and if they didn't, GREAT! Now they do.
@@Someone-gn4st but as Jamie stated, some people experience dysphoria over strange things, and others do not experience dysphoria over stereotypical things.
Skylar, your best bet is to lead the conversation away from what is causing dysphoria. E.g. if your friend brings up how his hands are too small or her body hair is too thick, a hug (or other show of friendly support, my guy friends would rather punch each other in the arm), affirmation of their gender (doesn't make them any less of a man/woman), and then talk about an upcoming event or a shared hobby.
@@socialdeviant13 I know. I have bad dysphoria over my lips and fingernails. But just as a general rule, don't draw attention to the stereotypical things because a lot of people (including me) are dysphoric about them.
@@Someone-gn4st personally, sometimes I struggle to know exactly what could cause dysphoria. obviously i know to avoid all the big ones, but I would never have thought to avoid talking about someone's hands before this video,.
As a cis guy, I'd love to see a video about gender euphoria (especially as it relates to other people doing validating things,) I have loads of trans friends and would love to be a part of euphoria as opposed to dysphoria
Calen Winn this is such a good idea!!
I don't even think thats a thing, it's just relief of not feeling dysphoric in certain moment
@@himei4004 Not discounting your experience, but I have been told directly by trans people that gender euphoria is a distinct thing and a result of certain confirmations and affirmations of a persons gender.
@@thegaythespian It's definitely a thing, and as a trans person I experience it.
It’s definitely a thing! I experience it, but it goes hand in hand with dysphoria
"please leave them in the, description, box.. no you can't leave them in the description box"
I feel like it's important to mention that some trans folk don't get dysphoria at all. For example, in the case of non binary people like myself, I don't feel necessarily dysphoric about my body. However, I experience gender euphoria for things that make me feel or look more androgynous. Gender euphoria is just as valid as gender dysphoria.
Thank you so much. I experience more euphoria than dysphoria, so I often question. I feel euphoric about binding my chest, my hair, presenting more masculine, but I only experience slight dysphoria. I could wear bras instead of binders, but Id rather not, bc i like how flat my chest feels and looks.
I feel like this is more an nb thing tho
The ONLY criteria for being trans is GENDER DYSPHORIA. If you don’t have this, you are not trans. There is no gender euphoria criteria.
Late comment, not just me who feels high amounts of dysphoria and a small amount of euphoria right?.. Right..?
@@ilikeice450 There is no right way to be trans! There's no correct percentage of dysphoria to euphoria that you need in order to be valid. Whatever you are feeling is real and if you identify as transgender then you are, simple as that.
When I look in the mirror with my shirt off, it doesn’t feel like I’m looking at myself. I feel like it’s not my skin. I feel like it doesn’t belong to me, like I’m expecting something else. I don’t know if that’s dysphoria. When I look in the mirror I don’t see myself, it really feels like I’m looking at someone else. It doesn’t feel right. I feel weird because it doesn’t seem right, like my brain expects to see something else. Every. Single. Time. I get this feeling over pronouns, name, body. I still don’t know if that’s dysphoria. I always expect to look different when I do (like, every time I look in the mirror before showering, my brain always tells me that this time I’ll no longer have a big chest of small waist. It feels wrong, but it mostly feels like I’m looking at someone else and not me.) is that dysphoria? I mean I’ve bought a binder in hopes to fix this feeling. I still don’t know. (Doesn’t help that I’m 14 and everyone tells me that it’s just me being uncomfortable with my body because I’m still growing) idk. I also experience getting so happy, too happy, when I get called a boy or shit like that, since I’ve cut my hair. It feels so good to be male. I’m just confused
Edit: the binder is still shipping right now
I think that's dysphoria. When I have my shirt off in the mirror I like to adjust the mirror and stand so the angle is above the chest and it's just my shoulders. It looks like a male shirtless body and makes me feel slightly better before my shower.
I feel the same way!! I’m 13 and people say it’s just puberty and my sexuality is just a phase or I haven’t met the right person. (I’m ace/aro and maybe non bianary)
For me I'm confused about my gender because when I see my body, it DOES feel like my body, but the thing is... I feel like I interpret my body differently than others. They call certain body parts things I don't interpret them as. I know objectively what I'm looking at in the mirror, but it doesn't feel like it's truly what I'm looking at. But.. I also don't really care if I'm referred to as she or not. I hate being called a woman, lady, ma'am, or miss.. love being called 'sir..' I think I'm neutral, if not just ever so slightly uncomfortable, with being called 'girl.' Neutral toward being called he/him. And if someone calls me a man or a boy, it doesn't gross me out like with woman or lady, but it feels like I'd be... lying to them? By letting them think that? Well, more like if I told them I was a boy, I feel like I'D be lying to them. And if they tell someone else I am, I'd be lying to the person they're telling it to by letting them say that.
I can't tell if I just hate my body and being called a woman reminds me of it, or if I'm trans and my mind just won't let me view myself as male (or nb) due to I guess internalized transphobia and that's why I don't get gender euphoria. The ONLY gender euphoria I get is being called sir. That feels great.
I'm a trans man and I think the biggest thing for me is my height (a tiny 5ft) and my hands. I have tiny fingers, like 1/4th too small, even for a girl. Thanks for this video, I always love watching you!
Me too
oh yeah man for sure, my hands are the daintiest things, i always feel like theyre a beacon that im trans ldkfj
My feet kill me >:| they’re a men’s size 5 my hands are pretty rough though so I can ignore em sometimes even though they’re small
I like my height (5'3" and a half) but it's like I get social dysphoria iver this physical thing. I wouldn't want to be taller, but I hate that, it makes me so easily clocked as AFAB. What helps me with it and might help you guys is just looking up some short cis male celebrities.
@lee the Asian yo same XD but hey it’s small enough to be kids sometimes so I can get expensive men’s shoes cheaper 😂
The only obscure thing I'm dysphoric about, which I've never heard anyone else talk about, is the fact that I don't and never will have a prostate.
omg same wtf
I can literally have a break down about that sometimes
Shit, this just reminded me oof
@Josephine Montalvo yeah but I'm gay and a bottom so the trade-off really isn't worth it
SAME WTF
I don't really know what's with me yet. I have only a little bit of dysphoria that involves my physical body (slender arms, little waist, full lips, sometimes my chest) it's my pronouns that really bother me. Sometimes I'm really comfortable in my skin and love my body, other times I just want to tear myself apart.
Same, it's confusing :/
i like strangers/people online using she/her pronouns, but i don't like my family using any pronouns
@@abandonedchannel1290 i feel the same way, i thought i was the only one! i love when strangers use he/him or they/them pronouns but i feel really uncomfortable when my family uses any pronouns.
I kinda relate to this. Also I am kinda comfortable with seeing my chest as long as I don't think about it, but if I stand in front of the mirror, looking at those two things just hanging there on my body it weirdly feels like they are just glued on or something and I could easily take them off. Then I hate that they aren't even a bit smaller because it is nearly impossible to hide your breast if they are bigger than size d which makes it very difficult for me to experiment with a more masculine presentation because everyone will just see me as a girl.
I have something similar to this. I want to be called by he/they and I feel like I’m too feminine for that. I’m in the closet though so I can’t really do anything like bind or cut my hair. Online whenever I get called by he I get a ton of euphoria and I’m really happy. But in real life it just doesn’t seem as I pass as male/masculine / you have to look masculine to use he/him
I honestly don't know if I have dysphoria. I don't exactly feel feminine in the way people see me, but also not masculine. I feel "dysphoric" over things like my hair, my chest and my waist n stuff and I don't know if that's just me wanting to look different
I can't even talk about that with my therapist since nonbinary pronouns dont exist in my country and I would feel even less comfortable with switching pronouns to he/him. I honestly don't know what I should do and if this is just a phase,,,
Ooooh I feel you, we don't have a gender neutral pronouns in ucranian as well
me: doesn’t wear anything binding my chest
also me: is this hell??? am i in hell??
I had a nightmare that my binder became a skin tight dress and I felt miserable that same day to wear it cos of it
Oh god now I’m going to have that nightmare
Ah, dude, no that’s horrifying. I have nightmares where I am repeatedly misgendered by my friends.
I had a nightmare where I was finally on testosterone my voice was dropping but then my voice went back to how it is now and it’s terrible
I once had a dream about having a p*n1s and when I woke up from that dream I felt dysphoric for the whole day lol
I experience dysphoria over being called a lesbian. I don't have anything against the word, I just dont like being called it.
Same
my sister said there was no way i liked men and that i must be a harcore lesbian or something. like, ,,no???
same this person my friend is friends with always calls me a lesbian because of how "masc" i am (lol weird stereotype that lesbians are masculine) and im just- i dont have anything against wlws im just not a lesbian and i dont like being looked at as a girl
wow. i tought i'm the only one who experienced and felt like this. :')
mum tried to force me to come out saying she knew i was a lesbian
i’m trans masc
and i like guys
I live in the uk and I’m finally being referred to as “pal” by strangers instead of “love”, most of the time. “Love” makes me dysphoric. oh my that sounds so sad
I personally don't mind nicknames like that but I understand how that'd be dysphoric. I'm Scottish and my Mum calls everyone "hen" so ig I'm just used to it.
Oh dang, I'm southern in the US and use hon, love, buddy/bud, and stranger, as well as the classic "sweetie" all as gender neutral, I had never considered someone being upset by that as an afab guy myself. Something for me to keep in mind, ty!
nahh i get it
Shampoo smell is what makes me dysphoric, that you wouldnt think of.
I thought that was just me
I have recently realized I am genderfluid, born female, and my hips and thighs really bother me when I identify as male. Mirrors are also a huge problem. I don't want to wear makeup, but my Rosacea is SO bad I feel like I need it.
However, I am tall and have broad shoulders and a fairly strong jawline, so I try to focus on those traits when the others upset me. Sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't.
Honestly, dysphoria is like when you spill a drink over yourself. So frustrating
No. It isn’t. Words have meaning, in this case, medical meaning.
I’m a trans girl I just wanna start hormones already aggggg
Karma Kitty me too 😭💓
Robin Hosking I wish you the best of luck!🏳️🌈💕 I hope you start soon so you can look like the gender you really are
@karmakitty Same here :/
Madison Jones I’m sorry to hear that I wish you all the best! Your gonna be a beautiful girl!💕
Thank you. I hope you get your HRT soon too. Xx
I've struggled with mental health issues along with gender dysphoria for almost 4 years. I'm only 16 and my mom won't listen to any of my concerns or let me talk about starting treatment in any way saying "we can't be moving too fast and too suddenly" or saying "we need to get you mentally stable before we worry about anything else," which I completely understand. The only issue is, a lot of my depressive episodes are linked to being dysphoric and feeling like nothing will ever happen, leaving me stuck in the body I feel like I don't belong in. How should I deal with this? I've told her several times that my depression is linked with me being trans but she always seems to disregard it and continue in talking to doctors trying to see if this is all a result of me being depressed. I know in her heart she doesn't mean to make me feel invalidated but I can't help it when she's constantly researching ways that I could be messed up that causes me to THINK I'm trans.
Either way, I need help! I want to start finally living full time as male but don't know how to approach it because of this. It would be very helpful to hear from you Jamie, thank you💛
I understand. I've been out for a little over a year now, but my parents still don't want me talking about my pronouns in public. I also have depression, and I agree that dysphoria can feel like a downward spiral. As hard as it seems, your best bet might be to talk it out with your mom. By the way I read the situation, your mom really does have your best interests at heart.
Anna Homophobia Slayer the depression could be why want people to say something your not
That's my exact situation, but with my dad instead of my mom.
Exact same situation, pal.
Exactly the same with me, I hope you’re doing better now!!!
I'm nonbinary and genderfluid and when I hang out with a group of girls and am refered to as one of the girls it makes me dysphoric.
also, for a very particular body part: my upper arms/shoulders. I'm kinda chubby and I would like to be more muscular.
I'm also really small (5'1) so when people aren't sure about my gender they will assume I'm a girl because of that.
I agree. also my collarbone gives me dysphoria.
I’m dysphoria about my knee caps my KNEE CAPS
Can you make more (if dysphoria was a person) videos, the last one was so funny and unfortunately true as well..
Do you make a couple QnA soon?
Luv your videos
dysphoria is the worst
👍 as a gay older male. I’ve been meeting more trans gender people in the community and your inspiring informational words makes it more easier to communicate and understand was going on in their life. Thank you yes there shouldn’t be any weirdness if you wanna call it. But coming from IA malethat was born a male you make it so much easier to give the respect they deserve
Hi, so I'm not trying to be rude, and I realise it may be autocorrect , but generally transgender is written as one word. Thanks for taking the time to understand though, I'm in no way trying to attack you for a simple mistake. Have a good day:)
Ur a lively person
I'm gay plus transgender
I'm bigender, born female. Just, I'm not too dysphoric but sometimes I can't stand myself :(. My voice gives me dysphoria (even if it's already deep) I want it to be more masculine, louder ect. My hands feel a bit to tiny sometimes but I'm really comfortable with my body :/. I'd like to be called "He" AND "She" at the same time but it's a bit hard and tiring to say and explain. I think the worst part is that, on the gender spectrum, it changes really REALLY quickly. I the same week I can feel full girl/boy/NB, half boy half girl ect... And because I'm still a teenager (don't judge me to quickly please) it's even harder to make people understand and accept who I am (I haven't came out to my parents yet -_-).
(Also I'm French so excuse me if my English is REALLY BAD)
Your English is perfectly normal, don't worry
@@valkeakirahvi OwO Thank you UwU
when he described dysphoria as “euwegeh” i felt that. that was the genuinely most accurate way ive ever heard it be described and i feel weirdly validated.
I occasionally get dysphoria over my handwriting. Why? Because people will say things like, "You're handwriting is so nice! It looks like a girl's."
Oh,so now we're gendering LINES?
Sometimes I’ll just get these weird waves that feel like I want to puke or rip myself open.
I feel disphoric about everything; about my tiny hands, my height, my eyes, my mouth, my voice, my actitude, my smile, my legs, my feets, my nose, my hips and my shoulders. I feel like every year it's gets worse, i tried to be positive, but i cant be masculine, it's get me crazy and i don't know what to do about it.
almost everyone here knows how it be like. you’re not alone in this struggle. we’re with you
-an enby
All i want is bottom surgery, top surgery and still have my original curves, and testerstone for deep voice (if i have a deep voice i can have the ability to troll ppl w a high girly voice)
I'm a transgender femboy
When dysphoria says you don’t wear enough makeup to be a girl but u wear makeup pretty much everyday
Swimming. So true. I haven't swam since puberty even though I LOVE swimming.
Oh my gosh, this came up at a funny time. My mom has been telling me how she just doesn’t get why I’m so focused on “this gender thing” and “she never had to think about gender” and “why are you so focused on the name thing!” It’s so frustrating! I tell her it’s legit because I have gender dysphoria, I was diagnosed and everything and she just is like “but IIIIII never had to think about it!” And I’m like yeah, because you’re cis. Cis people rarely ever think about their gender! She also recently has been sharing how weird and “unnecessary” social media is. Like I bring up one bad thing about social media and she’s on my case about how she never had this stuff when she was a kid and people didn’t need to share everything they’re doing and blah blah blah. Like yeah, people don’t need to share everything they do, but if people want to it doesn’t hurt anybody, especially not her!
She knows better!
She knows that her body is normal!
You must learn this too!
This was a nice reminder because I used to feel like I got dysphoria over such simple things, but I've since learned not to discredit my own feelings. For some reason my nails used to trigger me all the time. Just by genetics my mom naturally grows these beautiful long nails and before I went on T I used to clip mine right to the base, basically, because I would freak out about feminine hands.
Thankfully I'm much better off and my mental health has improved tremendously, but I remember how bad it used to be and it was hard
My dumb self read this as "Dyslexia is wierd" XD My bad. Great video though
Ironic though XD
Dxylesia is weird. Ps. I purposefully turned off autocorrect.
This is probably gonna get lost but I'm trying anyways..
I am SO CONFUSED over my gender and I don't know what to do.
I was assigned female at birth, and I can't remember it bothering me much in my childhood or teenage years. I always hated "princess" themed things, pink and glitter and all that stuff, but being a "girl" never was a problem for me until my young adult years (I'm 20).
I get weirded out when I'm called "she" and a "girl", but only some times. I get happy when people call me "he" (I present kinda masculine), but only some times.
I want to have a flat chest, but only some times, and for long periods of time I am okay with my breasts.
The things that consistently disturb me and make me uncomfortable are my period and the fact that I could technically get pregnant even if I would never want to do that ever.
Has anyone ever lived something like that, and how did you figure yourself out?
(Also side note, please don't call me a trender or anything, I literally never talk about it and do not call myself trans and I know people have it wayyy harder than me. I repress it most of the time for those reasons but I do think it's kinda unhealthy at this point)
in the same boat here but from the other side. while i can't say I've figured myself out i'm making progress for the longest time it felt like there were two of me one who was okay with being male with some one else sharing my body who wanted to be female she only came out when i was lonely when i had my thoughts to myself. a few years ago the distinction between my "2 selves" broke-apart and now i find it harder and harder to cope but i've re-examined myself and i think that i never actually liked being male i just put up with it and finally after all these years i can't fight the feelings i shoved to the back of my mind any more. think about if you actually like being a girl or if your simply okay with it it's entirely possible that you don't hate being a girl simply because you feel like you shouldn't and are holding back your real feelings.
@@rayshiotile9487 i'm super happy that you're figuring it out!!:) and yeah i do think it's more of a "well it's not the worse" situation than me actually liking being this gender, but i'm so terrified of letting myself explore something else.. thanks for your answer
Like Iva said, it's possible you could be genderfluid, I'm genderfluid and the pronouns thing sounds a lot like my thoughts on pronouns, but you might not be. I hope you figure it out, and good luck!
You might be genderfluid. I'm not genderfluid but I did experiment with being genderfluid before realising I was a trans guy.
Dysphoria doesn't necessarily come all at once, for me especially it was very slowly manifesting itself. Although, I realized I was trans when I was like 11, so before I really got dysphoria from anything except clothes. I'd leave it for a while and see how you think of yourself in a year or so, then decide who you are when you feel ready.
My Dysphoria comes from my hair....I always get so nervous whenever I notice my hair is getting longer, it sucks.
Mirrors! I thought it was just me. God's that was great to hear.
Couls you make a video about how to cope with a sudden dysphoria peak?
Edit: Woah that is crazy. Almost 50 likes? Can i get Jamie to notice me?
im transmasculine (ftm) and one time i was with a group of girls and they started talking about having sex and all was good but then my brain went "now they see you as a girl. good job." and i became crazy dysphoric even though none of them misgendered me or anything... i think my dysphoria and anxiety became friends
... Actually they are the same thing!
And they are wrong!
What is wrong with being seen as what you physically are?
I am in my thirties now and have dealt with this feeling nearly my whole life, starting around age 4. I spent a lot of my childhood pretending to be a boy, playing sports with the boys, and idolizing my dad and older brother growing up.
I recently quit drinking and this issue has become a huge focal point of my life as I’ve gained some mental clarity on things I need to work on in my life. I don’t necessarily feel transgender, but I have always had a general hatred towards my female body, mainly with my breasts and torso. It’s been a lifelong battle, full of loneliness and sadness. I hope I can work thru this, finally.
Jamie is honestly just so intelligent just the way he speaks and articulates his words and how he is always so informed (obviously in this case he knows the information first hand but I mean just in general he seems very well read) thank you for keeping us educated!!
I got my first binder today!!!!
Also I have the same feeling of dysphoria over my hands as well, how did you deal with it pre T?
About hand dysphoria, I find that stretching my fingers and like, tensing them so I can see the tendons is pretty good. Idk how you experiance hand dysphoria tho so it may help, but it may not..
I'm getting my first binder tomorrow!
My ex boyfriend (cis) had very 'feminine' hands, so it makes me feel better and you should all too. Guys don't all have the same set of hands!
Maybe wearing male accessories like those chunky biker rings could help? Or dunking them in a bowl of warm/hot water to make the veins pop out... Filling down your nails to make them really short... This one might be weird but cracking your thumb? Cause you have to stretch it out and for some reason it might help. Any sort of manual work could make your hands a bit rougher too... Or you could try gently filing the sides of your fingers' joints and your palms from time to time to make the skin feel rougher.
I get a lot of dysphoria because of my hair, since 3 years ago that I have to cut it really often and most of the time even with my hair being really short I feel the need to hide it with a beanie (even on summer when it's 41°C outside). It's really frustrating and a lot of times I've had the impulse to just buzz everything off. The same thing with my face, and it's really weird. I've never thought that my face looks feminine or girly, but at the same time I know that my face is one of the main reason that I get misgendered everyday, so sometimes at my worst moments I have even thought of harming my face to, I don't know, change my features and look differently. A lot of times I have thought that it would be better if I just cover my face in scars or something and the urge to cut my skin is huge. I'm glad that I haven't done anything harmful but damn, I would do anything to change that.
This is really validating ! I hope you're havibg a great day!
the most wholesome comment aw
When teachers in zoom say my real name but when somebody like my age Trys to help me and they misgender me and I can’t fix it. So I sit and suffer
My face shape gives me dysphoria, my feet makes me have dysphoria, my fingers make me have dysphoria and my nose too.
here's an odd one...
I'm dysphoric about my nose.
OH and people like... holding doors open and pulling chairs out for me makes my feel like shapoopy
@@mangosalsa3146 Both are perfectly legitimate. Kind regards!
Same my nose is so tiny it looks so feminine
There is nothing odd about that. It’s perfectly valid. I’m sorry you’re experiencing dysphoria. X
He said in another video that testosterone made his nose wider! There's hope
Not to be weird but you have great hands
My name is yoshikage kira hahahaha
Relatable, lol
Height!! Yes. I’m only 5’1. Sometimes it really bothers me.
Kayl Ball same! I’m only 5’2 and it bothers me a lot
Kayl Ball I felt this
Im 5'4
Kayl Ball I’m 4”11 it’s okay
5 and 1/4
Its been hitting me really hard lately, and its alot of things that I cant control... like my cough, I absolutely hate it,, or my voice in general,, my hips, my chest, my stupid face and my jawline. It leaves me in a mood where i wouldnt want anyone to see me so instead i opt to just not go out
Swimming. That’s a big one for me. I wear just a t-shirt and shorts and when I get out of the water it just sticks to my body. It makes me feel quite horrible.
I’m not too sure of it’s body dysmorphia/insecurity or dysphoria though. I’m not self-conscious about my fat and stuff, I’m self-conscious about my feminine figure. Can someone pls help me?
I get dysphoria about my face, my hair, my inability to grow a beard, my hips, my chest (but basically only when wearing masc clothing because I'm mad they don't naturally fit me like they would someone with a flat chest), that bit of chub that estrogen makes you store on your stomach no matter how skinny you are, she/her pronouns and my name when written but not when I hear them out loud, feminine compliments like being called "pretty" from someone who I know thinks of me as a girl, among other things.
I'm agender and ideally would look so androgynous that it confuses people, but knowing that most people see everyone as female or male, I'd rather people assume I'm a guy than a girl.
Well about that little bit of stomach chub: testosterone doesn't help.
My nails give me dysphoria, if they’re to long I get anxious
Can do a video on how it felt during the first awkward months on HRT where there are small changes but you still don't pass? It doesn't have to be entirely about this but it can be one of the topics.
When I was still at school I felt dysphoric that I had a full pencil case (bc I’m organised) and no other dudes even had one
I had dysphoria over my teeth once
Like cmon how can teeth look too masculine??
Well balanced, very kind video! Thank you and kind regards!
I'M GETTING MY FIRST FTM HAIRCUT SATURDAY OMGGGGGG
I'm gonna only talk about my lower dysphoria in terms of ball status
Okay so I'm a closed non binary (born female)
And it one dinner time for me so I went downstairs without a hoodie on and like a random shirt. That makes me feel dysphoric in itself because of my chest and arms. My mother took one look at me and said "oh look at you. That's a nice shirt, you can actually see your weight. You look so skinny without an hoodie! Its so feminine I love it!" I said to her "but hoodies are confortable-" and she said "yes well sometimes I feel like I have two sons, nice reminder I have a daughter too"...
And she wonders why I don't leave my room....
Hi Jamie...
I have been following you in TH-cam and also Instagram and I want too whole heartedly thank you sooo much for all of your videos they have helped me too fully understand how I feel on the inside.
Also helped me feel no sooo alone and I feel your videos normalise transgender which I think is muchly needed.
I have struggled my whole life with gender and sexuality it’s been really confusing.
Also I turned too so many destructive behaviours with drugs eating sex relationships etc etc anything to distract myself from the feelings.
Also the shame and guilt I feel around it also and not knowing how friends or family will respond either...
I am 39 years old now and have started hormones and have yet too still tell certain people but am still terrified.
When I come out at 16 as a lesbian it didn’t go down so well...
So I ended up saying I was straight it was a phase then bi then tri then gender fluid then none binary because the fear I felt telling them I’m trans was too much to bear..
Even tho my who,e childhood I kept stating I was a boy and got labelled Tom boy which I didn’t understand when I was small I just thought oh that’s my nickname...
Life over the next few months going to be different and challenging cuz I have children and I just don’t even know where to start with that..
I have friends in the lgbtq community but I am the only transgender person so I feel like I don’t have anyone to relate or chat with during this time.
So watching your videos helps me feel not sooo alone...
So thank you! I think your amazing human being your girlfriend is lovely and thank you for sharing your story with the world xx
I hope everything gets better for you! I’m non-binary but I’m only twelve, so things are going to get worse for me before they get better. Watching Jamie also helps me a ton 💕🏳️🌈
Me: tries to exist in peace
Dysphoria: I’m boutta ruin this enby’s whole career
Me: Finally I actually look like a bo-
Hand dysphoria: Let me introduce myself
Being shirtless like looking from my collar bones up tends to help my dysphoria I don’t know why it just does
my name being the biggest trigger for my dysphoria really fkn sucks :'(
i have dysphoria in the way i sit, breath, talk, walk, sleep, i have dysphoria about my chest the most and lower dysphoria i even have dysphoria when i eat *cries*
my dysphoria lead to me getting and eating disorder, and that lead to me developing body dysmorphia, which made my dysphoria worse. fmlllllll
My hands are horridly small and I'm so short. 😭
I have a question : how can you tell what's dysphoria and what's insecurely?
It's something that's still confusing and makes me feel invalid 🙄
Nobody:
My dysphoria: Yo remember that one time when you were like- 4? Lmao
Mirrors, the worst thing on earth, photos also, I hate to see myself on photo or people taking me in photos
Swimwear is a struggle for me
What’s weird about dysphoria for some people is that when you add or remove a specific physical attribute you have can help beat dysphoria a bit. For example, I cut my hair recently and it made me feel more comfortable with how my face looked (I try to look androgynous, and cutting my hair helped a lot)
Who the HECK is having a conversation about peeing in urinals
Me and my schools senior leadership team it seems
When they talk about the unwritten rules of using a urinal.. like try keep space from eachother and keeping your eyes forward haha
Dysphoria be like: "it's time to lock myself in my room until I get facial surgery"
dude my literal personality makes me dysphoric, like i will just be minding my business and having fun with my friends and then my brain is just like UR PERSONALITY IS TOO FEMININE 😡🤬🤬 and then my day is ruined