I have the same hand dysphoria thing and I mentioned it to my (cis male) therapist. He took his ring off and told me to put it on, it wouldn't fit. He said "see? your hands are more manly than mine are, they're not feminine". It actually helped more than I thought it would.
My transgender daughter before coming out yrs ago compared her hands to mine & they were identical, size, thin, etc.. & I have small hands but so did my 6 foot dad
man, you guys are the coolest cis people over the age of 25 i've seen interact with trans videos and stuff. My dad is in his 40's and won't say a word on this to me unless it's to tell me "you wanna be a man, man up" or something else like that lmfao.
Yeah, my dad's a cis guy in his mid-50s and he can barely grow the patchiest of beards. He gets so proud of what he does grow though! (Oddly enough, my little brother's beard is pretty decent. Dad gets jealous and it's hilarious, but to be fair, same.)
As mom to a trans son, I appreciate you making all the videos you have and still do about your journey. I found you recently and showed your channel to my son and now we both love watching your videos. Thank you so much for sharing everything and helping answer questions we both have!
@@mjp2palmtree Thank you, but in my opinion I'm just doing what every parent should do and supporting my child in life. I love him no matter what, always have and always will. I'll do all that I can to support him and any other trans person, I always wish I could do more.
I dont _quite_ know if I'm dysphoric, but I'm pretty sure I might be? Ive just been exposed to so much LGBT stuff I was never exposed to as a kid and I am now questioning *EVERYTHING* about me. Sorry for being rant-y, but I needed to get that off my chest.
I'm a cis male, and I have the same "problem" with my hips and hands, and I struggled with it for a long time, so you can safely say, that it's not "just a trans thing" - some guys just have this kind of proportions, there's nothing feminine about it, and we should stop thinking about those things as feminine - it will help a lot of people.
I feel that. I dont swim lots but i play sports and dont feel comfortable to play cause of my dysphoria. Something that has helped me was seeing other trans athletes journeys. You should check out Schuyler if you like his insta is (pinkmantaray). he is a form NCAA swimmer who swim on the Harvard mens swim team, when he was recruited the coach’s at Harvard knew he is trans and they didn’t care and he was able to swim openly trans. I cant say checking him out will get rid of your dysphoria. However, His story like Jamie’s has helped me mentally feel better in general. Maybe it will help a bit for you not sure. He doesn’t have videos like Jamie but he has a website about his story and everything. He is amazing. I thought i would share him with you :)
I felt the same way, what helped me is using shorts and men's shirts when i went swimming. When doing sports i made a point to be so competitive i didn't focus too much on other things. Good luck with your journey pal
My dad won’t let me wear hoodies durning the summer. Last summer it was bad cause it was my first summer completely realising I was trans. Around my bday 2 years ago (2017) I realised I was trans. So yeah. I have a binder now and it’s winter so that’s good.
@@ahfreshair9242 Sup mate, I'm 23 years old and also only 5 feet tall... Small guys unite. I'm not getting any taller either cause I have had spinal surgery when I was 15, haven't grown at all since.
I compare being trans to being in a car accident. First you'll worry about the major injuries, then once those heal you notice some other cuts, once those are gone, you've got bruises. The big stuff clouds up the small stuff, so once it's gone, it shifts to something else that's not very pleasant.
I feel socialising transitioning has actually made me more aware of my dysphoria! Like I now fully see myself as male and others are referring to me as male, the fact that my physical body doesn't match means the wait to start changing that feels worse than before I socially transitioned. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I've socially transitioned and I would never go back but I'm just getting more impatient now to get on with the medical transition and it's not in my control. I'm literally stuck on a waiting list with no guarantee the gic will even allow me to physically transition. I so wish I was rich and could go private. But I know its not just me and hundreds of people out there are in the same and worse positions so I keep reminding myself of that.
I felt like that too. Once I came out I felt way more dysphoric about things like my voice and hips because it didn’t match this male persona I was slowly molding into. While before I came out I knew I wanted a deeper voice but it would’ve been weird if my voice was super deep since everyone saw me as a girl. And most teenage girls don’t have super deep voices. Try not to worry about the wait times. Keep yourself as busy as u can. U WILL GET TO TRANSITION
I feel the same way, I'm about 4 months on T and I want top surgery like... 3 years ago lmao. It's rough because I live in America with shit insurance. I have to accept the reality that it'll likely be years before I'm able to afford it, and it's hard.
i just came out as trans to my friends, and they're all supporting me! my male friends call me bro now and it's really small but it makes me feel super happy! just thought i'd share.
Even before I knew I was a trans girl people used to tell me I had very feminine hands. Also when I answered the phone people used to call me lady, so at least I don't have dysphoria with my hands and my voice. I suffer dysphoria with my face and my chest, still not on HRT :(
I feel so sorry for you girls because it's so much worse for you - our voices and body change but for many of you can be too late. Wish you good luck with your transition :)
I feel sorry for you but the only thing that has helped me pass a few times is my hight but I still think I'm too tall. Apart from that I pass in no way and still get alot of dysphoria, in a way you are lucky. Hope you all the well though.
Unsolicited advice alert! If your hands do bother you a good amount a rock climber or guitar player’s hand exerciser could help develop some muscle that will beef up your hands a bit more! I had to use one for physical therapy after an injury and I definitely noticed a difference in the size of my hands after a while!
I Løve Jøsh Dun. His fingers have definitely gotten chunkier. But I don’t know if that’s his ligaments beefing up, or if they’re always a little bit swollen from being used so much 😂
Handsome Squidward by exerciser I mean a small hand-held thingy. It’s got a spring resistance grip for each finger that you squeeze to strengthen your hands. Google “hand exerciser”.
@@DayraRomeroDT "cis" is short for "cisgender" the opposite of "transgender" "Cis-" is a latin prefix meaning "on this side" as opposed to "trans-" which is "on the other side." Someone who is cisgender identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth.... My joke in this case, is that i was male at birth, i identify as male, i've had the benefits (and drawbacks) of testosterone for my entire life, and still can't grow more than scruff.
Recently Boyform made a video about new masculine identity that have emerged due to trans men being more prominent on social media and in a public eye. He mentioned how this new identity perpetuates positive qualities as masculine like kindness, empathy, etc. I think that Jamie is one of the clearest examples of this. He is just such a wonderful role model. If I ever have a son, I’d want him to turn out like Jamie:)
There's a girl in a few of my classes with my birth name and I automatically don't respond to it or anything because I have been social transitioned and using a different name for a couple years, but every so often I do a double take when people talk to her and get really anxious for like 4 seconds and it's really weird. Also she sits next to me in one class and when the teacher calls on her it freaks me out because she is really near to me. I just find it a bit weird but not really triggering that much
This comes at a time I really needed it. I talked about my dysphoria with my therapist (she's very much not used to trans issues AT ALL) and she told me we should maybe do therapy that teaches me to love my body's feminity more (instead of things I can do, including transitioning, to make myself feel better). Edit: to clarify, there are only two therapists with experience in gender dysphoria in my area - one has a 9+ month waiting list (I'm on it) and the other costs £110 per 45 min session.
Europeans are always talking about how they have free healthcare, though. Y'all constantly talking about how your healthcare is so much better than the US but they charging y'all more than they charge us.
@@FlowerTower You made me lol, ngl. You're going by a common misconception though I don't really understand why people think this way. We do have a public healthcare system. It doesn't cover everything and in particular it isn't really good at trans healthcare because it is lagging super behind the rapidly increasing demand. This is why we have been lobbying for change in the UK for trans healthcare, and why people like JKR have been particularly harmful for trans people in the UK because they are working to prevent access to better trans healthcare on the public health system. Concurrently to the public healthcare system, just as in every country I know that has public healthcare, we also have a private system. The private system is very much like what you have in the US (I presume that's where you are even though you don't say): private insurance will cover some of it, the rest of it you pay out of pocket. My therapist is through the private system since the NHS has told me I'm too complex for what they do offer. On the NHS I got therapy for 2 years for free. This is why it's weird when we see Americans oppose free public healthcare on the basis that it will take away your private healthcare and force you to go through the public system. It won't. It just adds a free system alongside your existing private system. You don't have to use it if you don't like it or find it doesn't cover what you need.
Hey, for anyone living in Michigan in the United States, a new law was passed just recently that allows us to be able to change our gender on our licenses to our preferred gender for the low, low price of 9 dollars and just having to fill out a form at the Secretary of State / DMV. Dysphoria sucks, and having to change documents sucks ass too. But, knowing this is going to help a lot of people in the State of Michigan. So, I just wanted people to know this? Because you don't have to get a court order anymore, and this is REALLY helpful for people who can probably pass a lot better than (well, like say me lol) and who don't want to be outed. In general, this is helpful cause now legally on our licenses we can have our genders reflect us. So yeah!! Just wanted to get this word out ;ooo; love you guys and jamie thank you so much for all these videos?? you've really helped me a lot through the last year of my transitioning. Keep on keeping on man ;o;
I feel the "hands randomly causing dysphoria" thing. I'm pretty small overall and I feel like my hands are suuuper tiny. But since I'm still at the start of my transition I barely think about it, since other stuff is a way bigger problem.
My cis male partner has beautiful finely boned hands. They're so much nicer to hold with interlocking fingers 💛 They're also perfect for doing up the tiny buttons and domes on our babies clothes. So many manly things that are made easier with nimbler fingers 💛
It's trans remembrance day! Rest In Power all those beautiful souls. My uni just had a protest and candle lighting that lasted for four hours. We were freezing, but it was worth it.
Thank you. I am a mom and my son is transitioning he has been on T for about four months. Watching your videos has helped me understand and educate me on what is happening with my son. Besides very entertaining and light hearted. Many blessings to you and Shabba.
Thanks! I've never heard "dysphoria" defined quite that way. My experience is exactly that...my gender dysphoria is constantly shifting and changing as I move through my transition. The things that minimize or magnify my dysphoric feelings are radically different today, than they were in the beginning of my journey. I kept my dysphoria in a box far away from everyone view for 57 years, and I hid behind a fake masculine persona. One day, my secret burst out of that box and consumed me. It drove me into a mental health crisis. Like many, with the help of therapy, I chose transition over suicide; a strange and wonderful new life over despair and death. The choosing part wasn't difficult, but the transition work was very challenging. Were it not for my therapist, trans support groups, supportive friends and family, I never would have survived it. I stopped trying to manage my dysphoria and began doing the things that lessen it's impact on my life. As I moved through my transition and achieved a variety of small and large milestones, the things that lessened my dysphoria changed, and they continue to change today. Gender dysphoria is still part of my life, and I suppose it always will be a part of my life. It lives in my insecurities. However, today it has very little power over me, as I have accepted it and my true self. I live my truth full-time now. My transition is still a work in progress. I have some surgical procedures that I am pursuing to lessen my insecurities further. No one's perfect. Thanks again for the thought provoking video!
My cat really likes your videos, every time I watch you he comes to watch as well. You’re the only one he does this with so ya you got fan that’s a cat.
Your hips thing, its a typical man frustration. Cos woman wouldnt say it like that (ciswoman pls). I have hands dysphoria but they got chunkier from working out, but people always go about how delicate I look....
I’m in transition right now. I’m transgender male and so looking forward to starting testosterone in a few weeks. Already changed my name, pronouns and cut my hair to be short. I deal with a lot of dysphoria with people still calling me mamn because I was born with big breast and I have a high pitch voice. Looking forward to T lowering my voice. My biggest dysphoria for me is my breast so I can’t wait to have top surgery. Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s really helping me.
Thanks for talking about dysphoria regarding hands. Everyone has told me I'm weird for it but I'm almost 2 years on T and my hands are slowly starting to come around to looking more masculine but I think it's something I will continue to struggle with potentially for life.
I have some slight issues with my hands, i'm tiny, but my forearms have been an issue since middle school when I realized that guys forearms didn't look like mine. I got really frustrated and started wanting to work out a lot to make them look more masculine. It didn't work and it took me years to realize it was a dysphoria thing and not a me being super weird thing. I didn't think T would change my forearms, but I've seen pictures of people before and after and I realize it would help and its the smallest thing that I want most (I want the big changes too, but this is a little "random" change that I want to change).
I want to express my total and absolute relief and joy at finding you on TH-cam and hearing your story. I am a mother to a Trans child and their experience was foreign to me....but I wanted to learn more. You've taught me so much I'm hopeful I can have better conversations with them and they can share more of their story with me. Learning the terminology have been awesome but this video in particular I think is helping me understand...as best I can as a cis person....thank you so so much.
The thing I’ve found about trans men that is very interesting in my opinion, is that because of their upringing they’re taught and able to express their emotions a lot more freely and honestly, and are overall a lot more skilled at dealing with them than your average cis dudes, or so I think. Sorry if this is inappropriate
all of the open sharing and education in this video, for me as an unfamiliar cis male, is something I am very grateful for. your channel is helping me to better understand someone whom i love who is dealing with dysphoria. i can never be able to empathize, but this is helping my to sympathize. thank you!
Maybe this is a weird thing to say, but I mean it with 100 positivity... When you see photos of trans people, before and after transition, you can see in the before photos that they're trapped in the wrong body. Does that make sense? I'm so seriously not trying to sound rude or ignorant, I support trans people 100%. Idk. I'll just give up lol. My point is, I'm so happy for you. I wish you well. K bye
Makes perfect sense. Just from Jamie's thumbnail here, you can really tell that he's meant to be male. He looked so uncomfortable before, I'm glad he's found his truth.
They just look unhappy and uncomfortable in photos, and you can especially tell when it's next to a photo of them after transitioning when they're clearly happier and more at ease with themselves.
If it helps, I am a cis woman married to a cis man, and my husband's rings areeee.... three sizes? smaller than mine :) So happy for you and where you are with everything - I wish nothing but the best for you!!
I'm a cis guy with long thin fingers, and people told me I should play piano to the point that I actually did as a teenager (and was terrible at it). Learning to like your own body is a lifelong task and it must be the worst to be wondering if you're just disliking your body normally and you need to learn to love it, or if you're disliking it because of dysphoria.
I first saw you and Shabba on Jessica’s channel. I didn’t understand why you were discussing trans issues, until I went to your channel. I think it’s very brave of you to share such personal things, and I say brave, because you discuss them in such a respectful way. (These things could be kind of raw and uncouth, if you know what I mean.) I have watched Shabba’s channel too. I like that you say this is YOUR experience and don’t intend speaking for all trans people. I also think the most important thing about you is not your gender, but your character and being an ethical and moral person. I mean this toward YOU, not as a philosophical statement. As for your mild dysphoria about your hands and hips, firstly I’m glad it’s mild. Secondly, if you look at a lot of people, cis or trans, almost everyone has at least one part of their body they hate. Fat in places, being too short, too tall, big hands, big feet, big nose, acne, etc, etc. if you see your hands and hips in that light, it MIGHT help it become just a “part” you don’t like (as I just described), and not “dysphoria” any more. Also, like I said, you are a very nice person, and focusing on your goals, like career, family, marriage, etc, might make the feelings about hands and hips seem a small thing compared to the “good stuff” as well as the task of “leaving the world a better place. And now that you are completely transitioned including certificates, etc, you can just go on and “be”. Do you want to be seen as a “trans male”, or just “as a man” that nobody needs to know the “previous life” you had? I’m just saying these things as encouragement. It’s like going on a trip or moving house. It’s more important to concentrate on where you are going “to” than where you have come “from”. But now you ARE at your “destination”. What is next for you? Your channel could change to “life AFTER transition”, which, I think could help the trans community as much as discussing the transition does/did. Much love to you and Shabba.
Ugh I find it so difficult to deal with hearing my deadname, even if not directed at me. I also had a very common nickname, so I hear it in passing a lot. Even variations of it make me cringe.
my dead name is in the pledge.... and i live in the usa..... I herd it every day ..... and that dam insurance commercial shouts it 3 or more times per play!
I'm cisfemale and have short, stocky fingers. (And a size 10 ring finger!) I hate them, but I've never thought about someone being genuinely dysphoric about their hands. Thank you for informing me, and everyone else, about that. I love learning new things, and being more educated on trans stuff, as it helps me be able to better understand my trans friends and family.
I truly appreciate you and everyone sharing what their dysphoria experience were. I am a non-binary and I have pretty bad but in no way shape or form the worst dysphoria but it truly does mess with my mental health. To those who have any dysphoria on any scale I’m so so sorry that you have to go through this. You got this!
I finally told my parents and bestfriend that I believe I am ftm transgender and I’m going to see a therapist next Monday and I can’t wait to start my journey I’m really nervous but I have so much hope for all these comments I see!
I've been following u for a while and seen many of your videos. It sounds like ur in heaven. I really want to have an operation made on my chest. Tomorrow i'm finally going to talk to a counselor after a VERY long time of arguing to get one. I hope he understand my situation and help me to come forward with an operation. I want to start living, i don't want to hide anymore!!
Thanks so much for always mentioning that everyone‘s trans experience is different. Sometimes when I watch content by people who have different experiences from me I start to question myself so you just saved me half an hour of anxiety spiralling
you are so brave and courageous, really hat off to you, sir. i am a cis mom of 3, never came into contact with any trans people but it is immensely interesting to learn about your journey and experiences. huge respect for openly sharing and helping so many people! ❤
These videos make me feel dysphoric (obviously being full of triggers) but so antsy and hopeful about my transition. I can never put my dysphoria into words despite how terrible it feels, and hearing you talk about it is inspiring and comforting. Love your channel ❤️ IM STARTING T SOON! ❤️
For a while I’ve been searching for something to help me understand myself better, and ever since I discovered your channel it’s just helped me feel better and understand myself better. So I just wanted to say a simple thank you.
I would love to undertand more about what dysphoria really feels like. As a cis person I never felt it and I'd love to undertand it more. Thanks for sharing Jamie 💕
what hurts my dysphoria is my voice people think i'm 14 years old and going to a transitioning listening to alot of testimonies like yours gives me alot of help
I can’t describe the freedom my voice drop gave me. I can order at fast food places now! I can talk on online games and I can speak up in class. All I want to do is talk and talk and talk lol
"at first it was not anything precise it was just... I hated myself and i was feeling trap in my body, i hated everything" Finaly, someone said it. That's how i feel.
God, listening to all of this reminded me so much of how I felt transitioning!! The testosterone was the biggest fixation for me at first, and then after that getting top surgery was the next thing. After those two, my dysphoria was alleviated so much that I'm now taking a break before pursuing bottom surgery. I don't really experience any dysphoria now, save for several VERY specific scenarios!
I totally feel dysphoria when I shake hands with other guys! I've tried to practice and work on my hand shake. I'm always uncomfortable with it but try to act confident.
I have been on transition for 6 years now, only 1year and 5 months or so on T, maybe... but my voice hasn't change at all, and I'm now actually stopping T cause, I'm broke, well, more like my family needs the money and I can't be that selfish... I thought I could make it, I had lived without T for around 15 years and the 4 years or so in transition without T, and I actually stopped before for the same reason... but this time, noticing the reversing on the genital growth actually made me cry... funny thought I had "size really matters for guys". When I starting T my growth was one of the first things that happened and I was not happy with it, I was not ready and felt uncomfortable... but it "grew" on me, excuse the pun and it helped so much with my bottom dysphoria. And for a while that was enough, I could manage not having the voice, or the facial hair, or top surgery... or anything because I felt just manlier with the T and the growth, and leg hair, lots of leg hair... but stopping again has been so hard on me.. I actually cried last night and I kept on thinking, "use the money, use the money" but I felt so guilty even with just the thought, not even the action, just the mere thought of using my money on that was so shameful.. cause I need to buy food and toilet paper and stuff for my house, my lil sis health should always come first... Guess this doesn't have much to do with your video, but I needed a place to rant and expose a tad of my feelings... I'm glad you got the chance to transition and so quickly, so greatly...
I just got top surgery yesterday!!! 🎉 double incision with nipple grafts. I’ve been on T for five months, but don’t know if I’m going to take it for the rest of my life. I’m non-binary trans/trans masc, and luckily my insurance company, surgeon, and therapist (who wrote my surgery letter) were all affirming of my non-binary gender & my dysphoria. A lot of people assume that non-binary= no body dysphoria, but that’s not the case. I’d say maybe even most of us have some form of body and/or social dysphoria!
Congrats on top surgery! I hope you heal well and relatively easily. Totally agree on being non-binary/trans masc and having dysphoria. It happens and sometimes it's a whole lot.
Masen S. You won’t take test for the rest of your life because once the DHT conversion starts turning your hair into the dreaded donut you’ll panic and stop, but then it will be too late so sad!
Love Alfie ❣️ My cousin recently came out mtf and seeing how overwhelmingly supportive your family is makes me both sad and optimistic. She is nearly 30, recently divorced and her parents and sister are totally unsupportive. I'm trying to just be there for her, but my parents aren't supportive either. It makes me worry so much for her because of how bad things are right now in the U.S. and how terrible things are for trans women in general. She isn't that sweet little baby that slept on my chest or laughed and let me hold her all the time and I can't take her away from the grown ups and just let her be happy anymore.
Your videos are so educational for those who are cis, and don't know much about what it feels like to be trans and the experience. Thanks for spreading info about the trans community and your personal experience ❤
You are such a darling (and the pup too!). Thank you for sharing your journey so candidly - I have a trans daughter, and I'm going to share this video with friends/family who don't understand what dysphoria is. My poor daughter is having a horrible time with it, although it's better since her bottom surgery has now been scheduled. Love ya!
As usual, thank you Jammie for posting these videos to share your experience and how you feel with us! It's nice to be able to hear from someone I can relate to. I've been on T for a little over 4 years now and have just had my top surgery early in the summer. I can't even put into words how freeing it feels to have finally have had my top surgery! My life has changed so much since then, I'm happier than I've ever been! :D
I am a straight woman.. I never suffered from dysphoria, or even questioned my sexuality. I pressed "like" before watching it. I have maintained my like, I really love your channel. I think you are awesome. Likeable, sweet, warm, inteligent. I can understand and somewhat relate to all you are saying because we are all humans. All the same. Even if I have not lived these things myself.
My experience so far with gender dysphoria is _"it sucks but we're gonna live with it for now"_ Yall with parents that you don't think would accept you can probably relate Edit: haha I'm actually the opposite about bottom dysphoria, it really bugs me but my hair is actually the thing that my brain likes to pick at. It's just something that I can't do anything about without coming out to my parents
I am so happy that most of your dysphoria is gone and as for your hips I think that is more something you would notice than others. And not all cis men have big hands so please remember that when that bothers you!! I love your channel and Shabab's channel as well, keep up the good work. (I hope I spelled her name correctly) 🌈❤💙💚💜🧡
As a bbytrans, I love your perspective of dysphoria versus general body anxiety. That's a really important distinction, and I hope I can get to that point someday soon.
Not being super dysphoric over some things made me question if I’m trans or not until I realized something. I’m not out yet so everyone still sees me as a girl, that’s my biggest dysphoric thing so I don’t think about my body as much as my social life. But I’m dysphoric over my height, and clothes and I was SUPER dysphoric over my hair, when I cut my hair it made me realize how feminine my face is and now that gives me dysphoria. It’s like im very focused on some stuff so that’s why I don’t think of other stuff
I want to say thank you to you Jamie for being brave and have the passion to share your experience. One of my best friends he is struggling with his gender and wants to make sure if he’s ok. And he is now considering to take T and other stuffs. Your videos really re helping him a lot. Thank you.
I have had dysphoria for a very very long time. I hate it!!! I have not gotten any surgery except a hystro. I have been so anxious!!! I want the changes & surgeries to happen now type of stuff. I know every ones different & no one's transition or experience is the same. In my mind it says I should be done by now. I am getting more anxious day by day. Especially when I hear my birth name!!! Thanks Jamie!!! Much Love Brother!!! 👍😎 🐺✌
You are such a pleasure! I'm an old dame gradually learning about all this, having had gay friends here & there all my life, but only meeting Trans people since moving to San Francisco, in 2000. It's a fascinating topic, since I remember wanting to be a boy when I was 8, w/short hair & wearing flannels a lot. But it subsided - tho people have called me Sir, randomly, in public, all my life! (With or without makeup, in a dress or jeans!)Weird, actually, since I don't look or sound masculine. I'm tall, is all. I lived with a woman only once, in my 20s, but married men. (I'm married to one now, even, for 20yrs!) I apparently exude a male energy, Ive been told, but I'm feminine, too. It takes all kinds, eh? Anyway...rambling on....You are a pure delight, as well as yr adorable wife. Cheers from the Barbary Coast!💕
Seeing your videos about various stages of your transition always gives me hope for the future! i'm at a place right now where i can't take all the steps I want to, but I don't feel as stuck when i watch your videos also i just think you and shaaba are wonderful
I'm not trans and actually know little about it, but you are hilarious. I really enjoy watching you and am learning lots. I'm glad you popped up as a recommendation!
I haven't transitioned yet, but I am desperate to actually fail my classes (yes, you read that right) so I can get out of my school. It's a private catholic girl's school and honestly I just hate it. I hate seeing myself in a dress everyday, I hate hearing my deadname called every ten minutes, I hate seeing myself in the mirror, I hate hearing my voice and then my male teacher's voice and being like *shit*. I just feel goddamn invalid but this was inspiring 😊
Great honest take on this subject.Very open and positive. I feel that I learned something new about what the trans person feels.You are a wonderful explainer!
yeah i definitely think after starting t and having top surgery, my "impossible to get over" dysphoria gradually melted away into "easily managed" basic insecurities.
Jamie, you are so amazing and so real. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us about your process and experience (in your own time and within reason of what you are comfortable sharing obviously, haha not in a “we have an entitlement to your life and every thought” kind of way. Watching your videos, among other trans content creators has always been a safe space for me to retreat to, especially during this meteoric rise of anti-LGBTQ and specifically Anti-Trans rhetoric and policies. It has offered many of us a place to reground ourselves in our shared experiences and take inspiration from those who come before us. So thank you! Sending you and your lovely wife much love 🫶🏽
Will trade good lighting for cute puppy any day! And, of course: very happy for your journey, jammie! ☺️ Thank you for sharing your experience with gender dysphoria. I'm sure it helps a lot more for trans folks to identify their experience. But it helps a lot for cis folks as well to kind of get a glimpse of what that feels like. And arm ourselves with knowledge to argue for the need of these procedures, and transition, and everything. Thank you.
unsolicited advice re: hands (sorry). I am a violin and teacher. I have to deal with people's different hand/finger shapes/sizes all the time. I have seen hundreds of pairs of hands in my 25+ years of teaching. There are a lot of blokes with long, slender fingers and palms and a lot of girls with strong, chunky hands. My own hands and fingers are quite broad and chunky- I am cis female. I just have a stocky overall build as well. Before you do anything about your hands ask a doctor or physio. You don't need RSI or carpel tunnel. If you exercise muscles, you also have to stretch them, including those in the palm of the hand. For myself, to strengthen the muscles in the lower palm I use a rubber squeeze ball from a sports equipment shop. I recommend them for students on the advice of a physio, along with a few simple hand stretches. It might give your palm a stronger and more angular shape. It might just strengthen your forearms. The results will vary, like anything else.
Oh m an indian! And that explain all about my transition(which is not happening). Btw i loveee youu. You've been the solution to my dysphoria many times.
I hate my name and how people use she/her(s) when referring to me. I'm comfortable with people using he/him/his. When people online and in person believe that I'm a male, I don't correct them and feel good. But also, why do I need to be female or male? Why can't gender be ignored for a lot of things? I just told my doctor this year about my dysphoria (stress and mental breakdowns) and she recommended me a gender counseling/therapy place. I'm starting this week and hopefully, it'll clear up a few things. Like you, my chest makes me insecure.
Dont feel bad about your hands. My husband wears a womans size 8 ring. It saved us a ton on our wedding bands. He also has soft hands. He is a PC tech and keeps his hands clean and moisturized so it's easier to handle PC parts etc. He always thought his hands were great for all the small detail type things like models/wiring in small spaces etc ❤ Its so great that you have come such a long way. I'm so happy for you and I'm looking forward to your wedding. I'm a "mom" to some transgender teens/young adults. I can understand the struggle and how hard it must be. I have had the opportunity to provide support during different stages and celebrate those mile stones.
Jamie - Firstly, I love your channel! You showed up in my feed approx 2 months ago and I’ve become obsessed. My favorite video (so far) is one of your response videos to transphobic people. Favorite sound byte? Explaining how in utero brain development and sex characteristics happen at different times during development. Brilliant! And makes scientific sense. Second, your hands. They remind me of many beautiful male signers in the Deaf community. Maybe you & Shaaba could take BSL lessons? As you become more proficient you’ll be more comfortable with your hands. Anyway, just a thought. You are amazing and so glad I’ve found you. XO
Gender dysphoria is like an onion. It's got layers and it makes you cry.
Yep
This is the best comparison I have seen, thank you so much
shrek is trans confirmed
😢
And it stinks
I have the same hand dysphoria thing and I mentioned it to my (cis male) therapist. He took his ring off and told me to put it on, it wouldn't fit. He said "see? your hands are more manly than mine are, they're not feminine". It actually helped more than I thought it would.
Aww, I love that
Aww that’s so wholesome
that's so cool!
My transgender daughter before coming out yrs ago compared her hands to mine & they were identical, size, thin, etc..
& I have small hands but so did my 6 foot dad
all hands are different! i’m a cis woman and my hands are bigger than my brothers and dads! anyones hands are perfect at any size
Don't worry about the beard filling in. I'm a 57 year old cis man, and my beard is still filling in. Lol
Same here, 57, and it's only last few years that I've had a goatee, cheeks are still filling in. I may be complete with puberty, by the time I die.
Same here also 50+ :)
man, you guys are the coolest cis people over the age of 25 i've seen interact with trans videos and stuff.
My dad is in his 40's and won't say a word on this to me unless it's to tell me "you wanna be a man, man up" or something else like that lmfao.
Yeah, my dad's a cis guy in his mid-50s and he can barely grow the patchiest of beards. He gets so proud of what he does grow though! (Oddly enough, my little brother's beard is pretty decent. Dad gets jealous and it's hilarious, but to be fair, same.)
Is it ok that I laughed at this in a positive way? Also cool that u support Trans people in their transitions
As mom to a trans son, I appreciate you making all the videos you have and still do about your journey. I found you recently and showed your channel to my son and now we both love watching your videos. Thank you so much for sharing everything and helping answer questions we both have!
Can I just say that you’re an amazing mom? Because you are. Good for you watching videos like these!
@@mjp2palmtree Thank you, but in my opinion I'm just doing what every parent should do and supporting my child in life. I love him no matter what, always have and always will. I'll do all that I can to support him and any other trans person, I always wish I could do more.
Poor kid. Not because you support him or abuse blah blah blah, but simply because he has to go through GD.
@@jodieanslow7702 as another mom of a trans son...I hear you and all we want is their happiness.
@@rhondac4957 Absolutely Rhonda! All the love and happiness to you and yours.
It's gotten to the point where if I don't hear "hey spuds" once a day, *my day isn't complete*
I love the spuds thing! It makes me happy
Why is this true
Same :D
Yes
Ikr I’m sad
Ah yes, gender dysphoria
_It sucks_
*It sucks indeed*
I dont _quite_ know if I'm dysphoric, but I'm pretty sure I might be? Ive just been exposed to so much LGBT stuff I was never exposed to as a kid and I am now questioning *EVERYTHING* about me. Sorry for being rant-y, but I needed to get that off my chest.
@@spojostudios7782 It's okay, same happened to me.
You'll figure yourself out, I promise
@@Mrbroom-tv1zm Boy I hope so.... Thanks.
@@spojostudios7782 No problem.
I'm a cis male, and I have the same "problem" with my hips and hands, and I struggled with it for a long time, so you can safely say, that it's not "just a trans thing" - some guys just have this kind of proportions, there's nothing feminine about it, and we should stop thinking about those things as feminine - it will help a lot of people.
I hate dysphoria so much. I just want to be happy and able to go swimming again.
I feel that. I dont swim lots but i play sports and dont feel comfortable to play cause of my dysphoria. Something that has helped me was seeing other trans athletes journeys. You should check out Schuyler if you like his insta is (pinkmantaray). he is a form NCAA swimmer who swim on the Harvard mens swim team, when he was recruited the coach’s at Harvard knew he is trans and they didn’t care and he was able to swim openly trans. I cant say checking him out will get rid of your dysphoria. However, His story like Jamie’s has helped me mentally feel better in general. Maybe it will help a bit for you not sure. He doesn’t have videos like Jamie but he has a website about his story and everything. He is amazing. I thought i would share him with you :)
Ah yes summers and swimming just make you feel even crapier about your body
It’s not even swimming for me, I just want to live a normal goddamn life
I felt the same way, what helped me is using shorts and men's shirts when i went swimming. When doing sports i made a point to be so competitive i didn't focus too much on other things. Good luck with your journey pal
My dad won’t let me wear hoodies durning the summer. Last summer it was bad cause it was my first summer completely realising I was trans. Around my bday 2 years ago (2017) I realised I was trans. So yeah. I have a binder now and it’s winter so that’s good.
You really got lucky with that cis male height.
i was really hoping it was testosterone related and i was just lagging behind a little. was disapointed when i found out he just got lucky genes
Charlieto I’m a 14 yr old 5’10 trans male. ._.
@@ahfreshair9242 I'm 16 and 5'
14 and 5'5 ;-;
@@ahfreshair9242 Sup mate, I'm 23 years old and also only 5 feet tall... Small guys unite. I'm not getting any taller either cause I have had spinal surgery when I was 15, haven't grown at all since.
I compare being trans to being in a car accident. First you'll worry about the major injuries, then once those heal you notice some other cuts, once those are gone, you've got bruises. The big stuff clouds up the small stuff, so once it's gone, it shifts to something else that's not very pleasant.
I feel socialising transitioning has actually made me more aware of my dysphoria! Like I now fully see myself as male and others are referring to me as male, the fact that my physical body doesn't match means the wait to start changing that feels worse than before I socially transitioned. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I've socially transitioned and I would never go back but I'm just getting more impatient now to get on with the medical transition and it's not in my control. I'm literally stuck on a waiting list with no guarantee the gic will even allow me to physically transition. I so wish I was rich and could go private. But I know its not just me and hundreds of people out there are in the same and worse positions so I keep reminding myself of that.
I felt like that too. Once I came out I felt way more dysphoric about things like my voice and hips because it didn’t match this male persona I was slowly molding into. While before I came out I knew I wanted a deeper voice but it would’ve been weird if my voice was super deep since everyone saw me as a girl. And most teenage girls don’t have super deep voices. Try not to worry about the wait times. Keep yourself as busy as u can. U WILL GET TO TRANSITION
I feel the same way, I'm about 4 months on T and I want top surgery like... 3 years ago lmao. It's rough because I live in America with shit insurance. I have to accept the reality that it'll likely be years before I'm able to afford it, and it's hard.
I feel the same as well. I’m also on the waiting list and probably got about 18 months to go before the first appointment
I'm not on a waiting list yet because my parents think it's just a phase and don't want to rush. I've presented fully male since early 2018.
@@stefans6418 due to the lengths of the waiting lists for a gics (minimum 2 years). Id suggest getting on the list as early as possible to be honest
i just came out as trans to my friends, and they're all supporting me! my male friends call me bro now and it's really small but it makes me feel super happy! just thought i'd share.
Congratulations! That's awesome!
you have joined the fellowship of the ring. Congrats m8, i hope to join soon
congrats!!
Congrats
@@dionysus7988 did you join
Even before I knew I was a trans girl people used to tell me I had very feminine hands.
Also when I answered the phone people used to call me lady, so at least I don't have dysphoria with my hands and my voice.
I suffer dysphoria with my face and my chest, still not on HRT :(
I feel so sorry for you girls because it's so much worse for you - our voices and body change but for many of you can be too late. Wish you good luck with your transition :)
Daniel Benda it really can be, estrogen doesn’t change your voice ( at least I’ve heard from others)
@@loltadynicneni913 thank u :D
I feel sorry for you but the only thing that has helped me pass a few times is my hight but I still think I'm too tall. Apart from that I pass in no way and still get alot of dysphoria, in a way you are lucky. Hope you all the well though.
@@HumanDucky thank u :D
I wish you the best too
Unsolicited advice alert! If your hands do bother you a good amount a rock climber or guitar player’s hand exerciser could help develop some muscle that will beef up your hands a bit more! I had to use one for physical therapy after an injury and I definitely noticed a difference in the size of my hands after a while!
Cash Colburn
This is true!
My husband has taken up rock climbing & developed so much muscle in his hands that his wedding ring had to go up 3 sizes.
Ur joking i can get SWOLE HANDS thank you so much!!
Solid Dogg there are no muscles in your fingers but yeah you can beef up your palms and forearms
I Løve Jøsh Dun.
His fingers have definitely gotten chunkier. But I don’t know if that’s his ligaments beefing up, or if they’re always a little bit swollen from being used so much 😂
Handsome Squidward by exerciser I mean a small hand-held thingy. It’s got a spring resistance grip for each finger that you squeeze to strengthen your hands. Google “hand exerciser”.
You are such a nice person I love how you say "no pressure" after saying to like and subscribe it's just so wholesome
"....two years.... beard.... still coming in...."
HA!
I'm 43 (cis) and can't grow a decent beard, good luck dude....
What's the meaning of cis? I'm spanish speaker trying to learn English and I didn't hear about it before
@@DayraRomeroDT Cis means you identify as the gender you're born as
@@DayraRomeroDT "cis" is short for "cisgender" the opposite of "transgender"
"Cis-" is a latin prefix meaning "on this side" as opposed to "trans-" which is "on the other side."
Someone who is cisgender identifies as the gender they were assigned at birth....
My joke in this case, is that i was male at birth, i identify as male, i've had the benefits (and drawbacks) of testosterone for my entire life, and still can't grow more than scruff.
@@inerlogic I see hahaha thank you! :3
@@RedInDark Thank you :3
Jamie with a high pitched voice I can't imagine 😂
I can, but it feels like I'm doing him a disservice.
Recently Boyform made a video about new masculine identity that have emerged due to trans men being more prominent on social media and in a public eye. He mentioned how this new identity perpetuates positive qualities as masculine like kindness, empathy, etc. I think that Jamie is one of the clearest examples of this. He is just such a wonderful role model. If I ever have a son, I’d want him to turn out like Jamie:)
There's a girl in a few of my classes with my birth name and I automatically don't respond to it or anything because I have been social transitioned and using a different name for a couple years, but every so often I do a double take when people talk to her and get really anxious for like 4 seconds and it's really weird. Also she sits next to me in one class and when the teacher calls on her it freaks me out because she is really near to me. I just find it a bit weird but not really triggering that much
pantranwhostansdan oh i hate when that happens 😩
Oof. Sounds awful.
This comes at a time I really needed it.
I talked about my dysphoria with my therapist (she's very much not used to trans issues AT ALL) and she told me we should maybe do therapy that teaches me to love my body's feminity more (instead of things I can do, including transitioning, to make myself feel better). Edit: to clarify, there are only two therapists with experience in gender dysphoria in my area - one has a 9+ month waiting list (I'm on it) and the other costs £110 per 45 min session.
Get a new therapist bud
Definitely try and get another therapist if you can who understands trans issues and dysphoria a bit more
Europeans are always talking about how they have free healthcare, though. Y'all constantly talking about how your healthcare is so much better than the US but they charging y'all more than they charge us.
@@FlowerTower You made me lol, ngl. You're going by a common misconception though I don't really understand why people think this way. We do have a public healthcare system. It doesn't cover everything and in particular it isn't really good at trans healthcare because it is lagging super behind the rapidly increasing demand. This is why we have been lobbying for change in the UK for trans healthcare, and why people like JKR have been particularly harmful for trans people in the UK because they are working to prevent access to better trans healthcare on the public health system.
Concurrently to the public healthcare system, just as in every country I know that has public healthcare, we also have a private system. The private system is very much like what you have in the US (I presume that's where you are even though you don't say): private insurance will cover some of it, the rest of it you pay out of pocket. My therapist is through the private system since the NHS has told me I'm too complex for what they do offer. On the NHS I got therapy for 2 years for free.
This is why it's weird when we see Americans oppose free public healthcare on the basis that it will take away your private healthcare and force you to go through the public system. It won't. It just adds a free system alongside your existing private system. You don't have to use it if you don't like it or find it doesn't cover what you need.
Hey, for anyone living in Michigan in the United States, a new law was passed just recently that allows us to be able to change our gender on our licenses to our preferred gender for the low, low price of 9 dollars and just having to fill out a form at the Secretary of State / DMV. Dysphoria sucks, and having to change documents sucks ass too. But, knowing this is going to help a lot of people in the State of Michigan. So, I just wanted people to know this? Because you don't have to get a court order anymore, and this is REALLY helpful for people who can probably pass a lot better than (well, like say me lol) and who don't want to be outed. In general, this is helpful cause now legally on our licenses we can have our genders reflect us. So yeah!! Just wanted to get this word out ;ooo; love you guys and jamie thank you so much for all these videos?? you've really helped me a lot through the last year of my transitioning. Keep on keeping on man ;o;
That’s awesome! Wish I lived in Michigan now.
Aww, that's great!! Good on Michigan!
thanks this is awesome booty bandit
ᕕᐛᕗbooty bandit yo what that makes me so happy !!! i live in MI so yay !!!
ᕕᐛᕗbooty bandit yay! That’s great to hear it’s so easy there!
I feel the "hands randomly causing dysphoria" thing. I'm pretty small overall and I feel like my hands are suuuper tiny. But since I'm still at the start of my transition I barely think about it, since other stuff is a way bigger problem.
I hate my teeny tiny feet lol. Dysphoria is random af and i hate it
My cis male partner has beautiful finely boned hands. They're so much nicer to hold with interlocking fingers 💛 They're also perfect for doing up the tiny buttons and domes on our babies clothes. So many manly things that are made easier with nimbler fingers 💛
It's trans remembrance day! Rest In Power all those beautiful souls. My uni just had a protest and candle lighting that lasted for four hours. We were freezing, but it was worth it.
Thank you. I am a mom and my son is transitioning he has been on T for about four months. Watching your videos has helped me understand and educate me on what is happening with my son. Besides very entertaining and light hearted. Many blessings to you and Shabba.
At first I thought Alfie was a teddy bear lmfao so cute!!!!
Sara Same I thought I was the only one
Thanks! I've never heard "dysphoria" defined quite that way. My experience is exactly that...my gender dysphoria is constantly shifting and changing as I move through my transition. The things that minimize or magnify my dysphoric feelings are radically different today, than they were in the beginning of my journey. I kept my dysphoria in a box far away from everyone view for 57 years, and I hid behind a fake masculine persona. One day, my secret burst out of that box and consumed me. It drove me into a mental health crisis. Like many, with the help of therapy, I chose transition over suicide; a strange and wonderful new life over despair and death. The choosing part wasn't difficult, but the transition work was very challenging. Were it not for my therapist, trans support groups, supportive friends and family, I never would have survived it. I stopped trying to manage my dysphoria and began doing the things that lessen it's impact on my life. As I moved through my transition and achieved a variety of small and large milestones, the things that lessened my dysphoria changed, and they continue to change today.
Gender dysphoria is still part of my life, and I suppose it always will be a part of my life. It lives in my insecurities. However, today it has very little power over me, as I have accepted it and my true self. I live my truth full-time now. My transition is still a work in progress. I have some surgical procedures that I am pursuing to lessen my insecurities further. No one's perfect.
Thanks again for the thought provoking video!
My cat really likes your videos, every time I watch you he comes to watch as well. You’re the only one he does this with so ya you got fan that’s a cat.
Yeah, my dysphoria shifted like crazy
Your hips thing, its a typical man frustration. Cos woman wouldnt say it like that (ciswoman pls). I have hands dysphoria but they got chunkier from working out, but people always go about how delicate I look....
I’m in transition right now. I’m transgender male and so looking forward to starting testosterone in a few weeks. Already changed my name, pronouns and cut my hair to be short. I deal with a lot of dysphoria with people still calling me mamn because I was born with big breast and I have a high pitch voice. Looking forward to T lowering my voice. My biggest dysphoria for me is my breast so I can’t wait to have top surgery. Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s really helping me.
Thanks for talking about dysphoria regarding hands. Everyone has told me I'm weird for it but I'm almost 2 years on T and my hands are slowly starting to come around to looking more masculine but I think it's something I will continue to struggle with potentially for life.
I have some slight issues with my hands, i'm tiny, but my forearms have been an issue since middle school when I realized that guys forearms didn't look like mine. I got really frustrated and started wanting to work out a lot to make them look more masculine. It didn't work and it took me years to realize it was a dysphoria thing and not a me being super weird thing. I didn't think T would change my forearms, but I've seen pictures of people before and after and I realize it would help and its the smallest thing that I want most (I want the big changes too, but this is a little "random" change that I want to change).
Bryson Pfouts I’m so happy that you have two hands that hopefully work properly.
I want to express my total and absolute relief and joy at finding you on TH-cam and hearing your story. I am a mother to a Trans child and their experience was foreign to me....but I wanted to learn more. You've taught me so much I'm hopeful I can have better conversations with them and they can share more of their story with me. Learning the terminology have been awesome but this video in particular I think is helping me understand...as best I can as a cis person....thank you so so much.
The thing I’ve found about trans men that is very interesting in my opinion, is that because of their upringing they’re taught and able to express their emotions a lot more freely and honestly, and are overall a lot more skilled at dealing with them than your average cis dudes, or so I think. Sorry if this is inappropriate
all of the open sharing and education in this video, for me as an unfamiliar cis male, is something I am very grateful for. your channel is helping me to better understand someone whom i love who is dealing with dysphoria. i can never be able to empathize, but this is helping my to sympathize. thank you!
Maybe this is a weird thing to say, but I mean it with 100 positivity...
When you see photos of trans people, before and after transition, you can see in the before photos that they're trapped in the wrong body. Does that make sense?
I'm so seriously not trying to sound rude or ignorant, I support trans people 100%. Idk. I'll just give up lol.
My point is, I'm so happy for you. I wish you well. K bye
Makes perfect sense. Just from Jamie's thumbnail here, you can really tell that he's meant to be male. He looked so uncomfortable before, I'm glad he's found his truth.
They just look unhappy and uncomfortable in photos, and you can especially tell when it's next to a photo of them after transitioning when they're clearly happier and more at ease with themselves.
Reject.
If it helps, I am a cis woman married to a cis man, and my husband's rings areeee.... three sizes? smaller than mine :) So happy for you and where you are with everything - I wish nothing but the best for you!!
I'm a cis guy with long thin fingers, and people told me I should play piano to the point that I actually did as a teenager (and was terrible at it).
Learning to like your own body is a lifelong task and it must be the worst to be wondering if you're just disliking your body normally and you need to learn to love it, or if you're disliking it because of dysphoria.
I spy a pride flag on the corner :)))
PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE
Same
PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE 🏳️🌈
And that lamp is in trans colours! Or am i seeing things lol
I think it might be bi?
💗💜💙
I first saw you and Shabba on Jessica’s channel. I didn’t understand why you were discussing trans issues, until I went to your channel. I think it’s very brave of you to share such personal things, and I say brave, because you discuss them in such a respectful way. (These things could be kind of raw and uncouth, if you know what I mean.) I have watched Shabba’s channel too.
I like that you say this is YOUR experience and don’t intend speaking for all trans people. I also think the most important thing about you is not your gender, but your character and being an ethical and moral person. I mean this toward YOU, not as a philosophical statement. As for your mild dysphoria about your hands and hips, firstly I’m glad it’s mild. Secondly, if you look at a lot of people, cis or trans, almost everyone has at least one part of their body they hate. Fat in places, being too short, too tall, big hands, big feet, big nose, acne, etc, etc. if you see your hands and hips in that light, it MIGHT help it become just a “part” you don’t like (as I just described), and not “dysphoria” any more. Also, like I said, you are a very nice person, and focusing on your goals, like career, family, marriage, etc, might make the feelings about hands and hips seem a small thing compared to the “good stuff” as well as the task of “leaving the world a better place. And now that you are completely transitioned including certificates, etc, you can just go on and “be”. Do you want to be seen as a “trans male”, or just “as a man” that nobody needs to know the “previous life” you had? I’m just saying these things as encouragement. It’s like going on a trip or moving house. It’s more important to concentrate on where you are going “to” than where you have come “from”. But now you ARE at your “destination”. What is next for you? Your channel could change to “life AFTER transition”, which, I think could help the trans community as much as discussing the transition does/did. Much love to you and Shabba.
This is such a sweet comment!
Ugh I find it so difficult to deal with hearing my deadname, even if not directed at me. I also had a very common nickname, so I hear it in passing a lot. Even variations of it make me cringe.
my dead name is in the pledge.... and i live in the usa..... I herd it every day ..... and that dam insurance commercial shouts it 3 or more times per play!
I'm cisfemale and have short, stocky fingers. (And a size 10 ring finger!) I hate them, but I've never thought about someone being genuinely dysphoric about their hands. Thank you for informing me, and everyone else, about that. I love learning new things, and being more educated on trans stuff, as it helps me be able to better understand my trans friends and family.
I truly appreciate you and everyone sharing what their dysphoria experience were. I am a non-binary and I have pretty bad but in no way shape or form the worst dysphoria but it truly does mess with my mental health. To those who have any dysphoria on any scale I’m so so sorry that you have to go through this. You got this!
I finally told my parents and bestfriend that I believe I am ftm transgender and I’m going to see a therapist next Monday and I can’t wait to start my journey I’m really nervous but I have so much hope for all these comments I see!
As a little kid I didn't feel any dysphoria because my body was very neutral, but now my body is much more feminine and dysphoria has shown no mercy.
Kids are like genderless until the age of 8
I've been following u for a while and seen many of your videos. It sounds like ur in heaven.
I really want to have an operation made on my chest. Tomorrow i'm finally going to talk to a counselor after a VERY long time of arguing to get one. I hope he understand my situation and help me to come forward with an operation. I want to start living, i don't want to hide anymore!!
Thanks so much for always mentioning that everyone‘s trans experience is different. Sometimes when I watch content by people who have different experiences from me I start to question myself so you just saved me half an hour of anxiety spiralling
you are so brave and courageous, really hat off to you, sir. i am a cis mom of 3, never came into contact with any trans people but it is immensely interesting to learn about your journey and experiences. huge respect for openly sharing and helping so many people! ❤
These videos make me feel dysphoric (obviously being full of triggers) but so antsy and hopeful about my transition. I can never put my dysphoria into words despite how terrible it feels, and hearing you talk about it is inspiring and comforting. Love your channel ❤️ IM STARTING T SOON! ❤️
For a while I’ve been searching for something to help me understand myself better, and ever since I discovered your channel it’s just helped me feel better and understand myself better. So I just wanted to say a simple thank you.
Im not going to lie, Before transition Jammi looked very masculine and in a good way. But current Jammi looks very very good, he is handsome.
I would love to undertand more about what dysphoria really feels like. As a cis person I never felt it and I'd love to undertand it more. Thanks for sharing Jamie 💕
I hope you never feel it.
what hurts my dysphoria is my voice people think i'm 14 years old and going to a transitioning listening to alot of testimonies like yours gives me alot of help
I can’t describe the freedom my voice drop gave me. I can order at fast food places now! I can talk on online games and I can speak up in class. All I want to do is talk and talk and talk lol
You're a school child? Your parents should be imprisoned.
I don't know why TH-cam recommended this video but I loved it. I have learned so much about gender dysphoria and i am now more aware.
I finally have my first GIC appointment next month!!!! Finally!!!
YES HAPPY FOR YOU!!!
"at first it was not anything precise it was just... I hated myself and i was feeling trap in my body, i hated everything"
Finaly, someone said it. That's how i feel.
God, listening to all of this reminded me so much of how I felt transitioning!! The testosterone was the biggest fixation for me at first, and then after that getting top surgery was the next thing. After those two, my dysphoria was alleviated so much that I'm now taking a break before pursuing bottom surgery. I don't really experience any dysphoria now, save for several VERY specific scenarios!
So cool of you to post about your transition, you're so brave.
Stunning and brave
I describe transition as a game of dysphoria whack a mole. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I am so happy you aren't struggling with gender dysphoria (barely) anymore. Congrats, man!
I totally feel dysphoria when I shake hands with other guys! I've tried to practice and work on my hand shake. I'm always uncomfortable with it but try to act confident.
I have been on transition for 6 years now, only 1year and 5 months or so on T, maybe... but my voice hasn't change at all, and I'm now actually stopping T cause, I'm broke, well, more like my family needs the money and I can't be that selfish... I thought I could make it, I had lived without T for around 15 years and the 4 years or so in transition without T, and I actually stopped before for the same reason... but this time, noticing the reversing on the genital growth actually made me cry... funny thought I had "size really matters for guys". When I starting T my growth was one of the first things that happened and I was not happy with it, I was not ready and felt uncomfortable... but it "grew" on me, excuse the pun and it helped so much with my bottom dysphoria. And for a while that was enough, I could manage not having the voice, or the facial hair, or top surgery... or anything because I felt just manlier with the T and the growth, and leg hair, lots of leg hair... but stopping again has been so hard on me.. I actually cried last night and I kept on thinking, "use the money, use the money" but I felt so guilty even with just the thought, not even the action, just the mere thought of using my money on that was so shameful.. cause I need to buy food and toilet paper and stuff for my house, my lil sis health should always come first... Guess this doesn't have much to do with your video, but I needed a place to rant and expose a tad of my feelings... I'm glad you got the chance to transition and so quickly, so greatly...
I just got top surgery yesterday!!! 🎉 double incision with nipple grafts. I’ve been on T for five months, but don’t know if I’m going to take it for the rest of my life. I’m non-binary trans/trans masc, and luckily my insurance company, surgeon, and therapist (who wrote my surgery letter) were all affirming of my non-binary gender & my dysphoria. A lot of people assume that non-binary= no body dysphoria, but that’s not the case. I’d say maybe even most of us have some form of body and/or social dysphoria!
Congrats on top surgery! I hope you heal well and relatively easily.
Totally agree on being non-binary/trans masc and having dysphoria. It happens and sometimes it's a whole lot.
Masen S. You won’t take test for the rest of your life because once the DHT conversion starts turning your hair into the dreaded donut you’ll panic and stop, but then it will be too late so sad!
Love Alfie ❣️ My cousin recently came out mtf and seeing how overwhelmingly supportive your family is makes me both sad and optimistic. She is nearly 30, recently divorced and her parents and sister are totally unsupportive. I'm trying to just be there for her, but my parents aren't supportive either. It makes me worry so much for her because of how bad things are right now in the U.S. and how terrible things are for trans women in general. She isn't that sweet little baby that slept on my chest or laughed and let me hold her all the time and I can't take her away from the grown ups and just let her be happy anymore.
Your videos are so educational for those who are cis, and don't know much about what it feels like to be trans and the experience. Thanks for spreading info about the trans community and your personal experience ❤
You are such a darling (and the pup too!). Thank you for sharing your journey so candidly - I have a trans daughter, and I'm going to share this video with friends/family who don't understand what dysphoria is. My poor daughter is having a horrible time with it, although it's better since her bottom surgery has now been scheduled. Love ya!
Hi, J. You've got the hands of an academic. Manual labour will rough your hands up. You'll not meet a female farmer with dainty hands.
As usual, thank you Jammie for posting these videos to share your experience and how you feel with us! It's nice to be able to hear from someone I can relate to. I've been on T for a little over 4 years now and have just had my top surgery early in the summer. I can't even put into words how freeing it feels to have finally have had my top surgery! My life has changed so much since then, I'm happier than I've ever been! :D
I am a straight woman.. I never suffered from dysphoria, or even questioned my sexuality. I pressed "like" before watching it. I have maintained my like, I really love your channel. I think you are awesome. Likeable, sweet, warm, inteligent. I can understand and somewhat relate to all you are saying because we are all humans. All the same. Even if I have not lived these things myself.
My experience so far with gender dysphoria is _"it sucks but we're gonna live with it for now"_
Yall with parents that you don't think would accept you can probably relate
Edit: haha I'm actually the opposite about bottom dysphoria, it really bugs me but my hair is actually the thing that my brain likes to pick at. It's just something that I can't do anything about without coming out to my parents
I’m binding for the first time today🥳
(It went great!!)
I am so happy that most of your dysphoria is gone and as for your hips I think that is more something you would notice than others. And not all cis men have big hands so please remember that when that bothers you!! I love your channel and Shabab's channel as well, keep up the good work. (I hope I spelled her name correctly) 🌈❤💙💚💜🧡
Aww the part about your physical voice change helping you find your personal inner voice .... be still my heart! And yes Alfie is adorable!
As a bbytrans, I love your perspective of dysphoria versus general body anxiety. That's a really important distinction, and I hope I can get to that point someday soon.
Not being super dysphoric over some things made me question if I’m trans or not until I realized something. I’m not out yet so everyone still sees me as a girl, that’s my biggest dysphoric thing so I don’t think about my body as much as my social life. But I’m dysphoric over my height, and clothes and I was SUPER dysphoric over my hair, when I cut my hair it made me realize how feminine my face is and now that gives me dysphoria. It’s like im very focused on some stuff so that’s why I don’t think of other stuff
You have a feminine face because you are female. Stop kidding yourself.
I want to say thank you to you Jamie for being brave and have the passion to share your experience. One of my best friends he is struggling with his gender and wants to make sure if he’s ok. And he is now considering to take T and other stuffs. Your videos really re helping him a lot. Thank you.
I have had dysphoria for a very very long time. I hate it!!! I have not gotten any surgery except a hystro. I have been so anxious!!! I want the changes & surgeries to happen now type of stuff. I know every ones different & no one's transition or experience is the same. In my mind it says I should be done by now. I am getting more anxious day by day. Especially when I hear my birth name!!! Thanks Jamie!!! Much Love Brother!!! 👍😎 🐺✌
You are such a pleasure! I'm an old dame gradually learning about all this, having had gay friends here & there all my life, but only meeting Trans people since moving to San Francisco, in 2000. It's a fascinating topic, since I remember wanting to be a boy when I was 8, w/short hair & wearing flannels a lot. But it subsided - tho people have called me Sir, randomly, in public, all my life! (With or without makeup, in a dress or jeans!)Weird, actually, since I don't look or sound masculine. I'm tall, is all. I lived with a woman only once, in my 20s, but married men. (I'm married to one now, even, for 20yrs!) I apparently exude a male energy, Ive been told, but I'm feminine, too. It takes all kinds, eh? Anyway...rambling on....You are a pure delight, as well as yr adorable wife.
Cheers from the Barbary Coast!💕
This was a very interesting video. To the point and no blabbing. Amazing!
Thank you for sharing.. my friend is transitioning and knowing all these details really helps to understand things.
I love it.. I'm so not a dude! This makes me feel euphoria when I literally don't grasp trans or cis men on being masculine.
Seeing your videos about various stages of your transition always gives me hope for the future! i'm at a place right now where i can't take all the steps I want to, but I don't feel as stuck when i watch your videos
also i just think you and shaaba are wonderful
Such an adorable dog. I can't watch this now, but it seems like am interesting video
I'm not trans and actually know little about it, but you are hilarious. I really enjoy watching you and am learning lots. I'm glad you popped up as a recommendation!
I haven't transitioned yet, but I am desperate to actually fail my classes (yes, you read that right) so I can get out of my school. It's a private catholic girl's school and honestly I just hate it.
I hate seeing myself in a dress everyday, I hate hearing my deadname called every ten minutes, I hate seeing myself in the mirror, I hate hearing my voice and then my male teacher's voice and being like *shit*. I just feel goddamn invalid but this was inspiring 😊
I hope you get better, but I can assure you that you are valid.
@Jonathan Roberts nah
@Jonathan Roberts nah
Keep going, push through and you will eventually get to where you want to be and who you want to be, YOU GO DUDE!
wait did i start a hate contest im sorry ima go die in a hole now ;-;
I love your sweater (jumper? I'm from the U.S.) it's such a wonderful color blue!
Great honest take on this subject.Very open and positive.
I feel that I learned something new about what the trans person feels.You are a wonderful explainer!
yeah i definitely think after starting t and having top surgery, my "impossible to get over" dysphoria gradually melted away into "easily managed" basic insecurities.
I really wish I was as brave as you, but also super proud of you!!!
Jamie, you are so amazing and so real. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us about your process and experience (in your own time and within reason of what you are comfortable sharing obviously, haha not in a “we have an entitlement to your life and every thought” kind of way. Watching your videos, among other trans content creators has always been a safe space for me to retreat to, especially during this meteoric rise of anti-LGBTQ and specifically Anti-Trans rhetoric and policies. It has offered many of us a place to reground ourselves in our shared experiences and take inspiration from those who come before us. So thank you! Sending you and your lovely wife much love 🫶🏽
Learning so much from this fine young man.
Will trade good lighting for cute puppy any day!
And, of course: very happy for your journey, jammie! ☺️ Thank you for sharing your experience with gender dysphoria. I'm sure it helps a lot more for trans folks to identify their experience. But it helps a lot for cis folks as well to kind of get a glimpse of what that feels like. And arm ourselves with knowledge to argue for the need of these procedures, and transition, and everything. Thank you.
I just love how his parents have rainbow flag at home 🏳️🌈❤️
Another great video. I've never seen anyone just lay it all out quite like this. Thanks for sharing.
unsolicited advice re: hands (sorry). I am a violin and teacher. I have to deal with people's different hand/finger shapes/sizes all the time. I have seen hundreds of pairs of hands in my 25+ years of teaching. There are a lot of blokes with long, slender fingers and palms and a lot of girls with strong, chunky hands. My own hands and fingers are quite broad and chunky- I am cis female. I just have a stocky overall build as well.
Before you do anything about your hands ask a doctor or physio. You don't need RSI or carpel tunnel. If you exercise muscles, you also have to stretch them, including those in the palm of the hand.
For myself, to strengthen the muscles in the lower palm I use a rubber squeeze ball from a sports equipment shop. I recommend them for students on the advice of a physio, along with a few simple hand stretches. It might give your palm a stronger and more angular shape. It might just strengthen your forearms. The results will vary, like anything else.
Congratulations on your progress. I'm glad you made it so far.
Oh m an indian! And that explain all about my transition(which is not happening). Btw i loveee youu. You've been the solution to my dysphoria many times.
I hate my name and how people use she/her(s) when referring to me. I'm comfortable with people using he/him/his. When people online and in person believe that I'm a male, I don't correct them and feel good. But also, why do I need to be female or male? Why can't gender be ignored for a lot of things? I just told my doctor this year about my dysphoria (stress and mental breakdowns) and she recommended me a gender counseling/therapy place. I'm starting this week and hopefully, it'll clear up a few things. Like you, my chest makes me insecure.
Dont feel bad about your hands. My husband wears a womans size 8 ring. It saved us a ton on our wedding bands. He also has soft hands. He is a PC tech and keeps his hands clean and moisturized so it's easier to handle PC parts etc. He always thought his hands were great for all the small detail type things like models/wiring in small spaces etc ❤ Its so great that you have come such a long way. I'm so happy for you and I'm looking forward to your wedding. I'm a "mom" to some transgender teens/young adults. I can understand the struggle and how hard it must be. I have had the opportunity to provide support during different stages and celebrate those mile stones.
Jamie -
Firstly, I love your channel! You showed up in my feed approx 2 months ago and I’ve become obsessed. My favorite video (so far) is one of your response videos to transphobic people. Favorite sound byte? Explaining how in utero brain development and sex characteristics happen at different times during development. Brilliant! And makes scientific sense.
Second, your hands. They remind me of many beautiful male signers in the Deaf community. Maybe you & Shaaba could take BSL lessons? As you become more proficient you’ll be more comfortable with your hands. Anyway, just a thought.
You are amazing and so glad I’ve found you. XO