I sometimes forget how traumatized I am from my chronic illness until it comes up in conversation and then suddenly I’m crying. Thanks for spreading awareness
I'm in that constant state of extreme stress and anxiety. It's horrible, and has made my situation worse. But, my life was completely destroyed. I lost my family, I lost my career job, then Lost so much more... im hurting so horrible... I can't take it. I got horrible depression... my life I knew, and loved.... it's over and I can't accept it no matter what the psychologist says... I'm completely devastated... and depression, anxiety, insomnia... added to my misery... has killed my soul. I'm all alone now, without my family, and my job.... Im unable to leave the apt with these mental illnesses. I feel totally afraid, and lost.. I don't want to live anymore.
Medical gaslighting caused me some sort of mental illness. I keep thinking i'm depressed, anxious and have ptsd. I feel I have no motivation or purpose. I know my chronic symptoms and illnesses are real but being told I'm 'normal' and then receiving no guidance about how I feel is so traumatic. I'm the most depressed version of myself it's like happy me just packed up and left. I was happy for 6 months but 4 months of that I didn't visit my doctors because of gaslighting. They have hurt me again. The only way to heal my mind is to not go to get medical help which is wrong, worrying and sad update in new comment
Update: I am in a better state of mind now and am trying to get help from my gp with no expectations each appointment. Give yourself time, meditate, get outside, eat juicy fruit, focus on what brings you joy and remember you are in control. Take tiny steps that make you feel in control, that helps alot. Tiny steps create big ones 💕
@@Marisanicole23 have you ever checked which vitamin and nutrient deficiencies or excesses might cause some of your symptoms? Lots of B vitamins can cause depression if you're not getting enough. And lack of zinc is often correlated with anxiety. Low tyrosine causes low motivation. If several of these match you experience, you might have a digestive issue. Trouble getting enough of the building blocks of Happy. Even if (or more likely when) this does not offer a complete solution, this kind of research and thought exercise might give you guidelines to follow for at least some improvement. A patient organization for your specific illness, or lacking that, a generalized bunch of people come together for rare diseases might offer some much needed peer support. I wish you strength, light and joy.
I'm sitting here in uncontrollable tears after watching your video on illness induced trauma. I can honestly say that I can relate to absolutely everything you said, the only difference being that you and I suffer from different illnesses, but both of us have been handed chronic, incurable lifelong diagnosis. For both of us, there is no end in sight which in itself, that mere thought, statement and reality is traumatizing enough. Add on the daily battle to just merely survive... morning, noon and night, round the clock struggle with symptoms, surgeries, procedures, countless disheartening doctors visits, repeatedly being misdiagnosed, having to ingest more medications in a day then food and drink, just to try to dull the symptoms enough to keep our heads above water so as to not drown from the physical, psychological, and emotional effects that control our very being. You were able to explain SO MANY DIFFERENT FEELINGS and thoughts that I haven't been able to put into words in the 2 decades of suffering I have enduredi I too have more recently been dealing with nonstop insane levels and amounts of anxiety and sheer panic, completely crippling to the point I cannot breathe, I cannot lay down, yet I cannot get up to do anything, I completely cannot function. I sit on the side of my bed, rocking myself as I sob unable to catch my breath. The terror of not being able to understand what the hell is happening, if I will always feel this way and not knowing....even the doctors not if it will ever end. Most people completely don't understand and it's heartbreaking when you realize how very few even care to understand what you are going through ...will put you in a severe depth of depression all in itself. When "normal " people experience a trauma that puts them in a state of fight or flight, find themselves exhausted and drained trying to bounce back and recover when the truth is there are those of us who never leave the fight or flight phase, we never bounce back, never recover, we never heal. Then how come others can't begin to understand how disabling and exhausting this is for us, and try to put themselves in our shoes, to try and understand our level of suffering. Unfortunately it's just easier and more convenient for most to just ignore and overlook the depth of courage, strength, willpower, and motivation it takes us just to survive another hour...losing there patience with us, losing any kind of closeness or relationship we might have ever had previously, thus, even further intensifying our level of depression, anxiety, pain. Of course it's draining to be a caretaker, to live with or be around someone someone who is constantly suffering, but the truth is, they have the option to walk away, end it and no longer deal with it. There is never an end for us, we don't have the option to walk away from it, even for a few minutes! So MAJOR KUDOS go those of you who are willing to stay by your side, support your and fight with you and not give up. There are VERY VERY few of you willing to give of yourself like that and you deserve ALOT of credit! much love to those of you that put in the time, energy and effort to educate yourselves of your loved ones condition/s so that you are better able to understand, relate to and support the ones with the illness. I'm sure it's a daunting task with a very helpless feeling watching your loved one suffer, but know that you should be very much appreciated for giving of yourself like that. I apologize for rambling on, what you had to say in your video just unleashed so many hidden thoughts and feelings that I didn't even realize existed.. So, to my fellow sufferers of - Lupus/SLE; Bilateral neurogenic and arterial thoracic outlet syndrome from Bilateral cervical ribs that extened from c-7 in my neck all the way down and fusing to my first ribs Creating extensive scarring on my nerves, arteries and muscle damage and nerve damage in the entire brachial plexus region/neck , causing suicidal amounts of pain, Mixed connective tissue disease, Idiopathic hypersomnia, arthritis, bulging disc's and a broken lamina in the spine, delusion disorder, depression, anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia, silent heart attacks with 3 leaking valves in the heart,kidney stones and pyelonephritis, raynauds phenomenon, various mold poisoning/toxicity, oooprpf ADHD, migraine headaches, neuropathy in all 4 limbs, complex regional pain syndrome, severe chronic pain body wide in all muscles and joints, numerous lesions on the brain, lupus skin lesions bodywide mostly focused on the face with extensive scarring (drastically affecting my self confidence and self worth further extensifying depression and anxiety,appearance leaving me single and unable to build/or even start any kind of romantic relationship,, other unknown reoccurring painful skin rashes/blisters and disorders that scar or don't heal, tardive dysconesia, restless leg syndrome, Degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, reoccurring bursitis in the hip, etc. There are more that I either can't remember due to severe brain fog, or I just don't know how to spell lol. 😂 May you all find the strength, willpower, courage and perseverance to make it through another day and overcome the horrific hand you were dealt. You never know how strong you are until strong is your only choice. ❤
I have chronic illness and i love that you're talking about this. I am bedbound today and sat here i feel like I've got a friend talking to me who understands, now I don't need to keep on trying to vent to people who won't understand, hunting for validation they cannot give me. Thank you for making me feel less alone and i wish you all the best in your illness recovery
As a person who was diagnosed with PTSD after suffering from long Covid for over a year I totally feel this. Nobody understands. Constantly being afraid that you’re gonna die. And even scarier, since Covid was so new and long Covid even newer, nobody can give me a prediction of if or when I’ll get better. How long that better will last. Or if this is just my new life. I definitely needed to see this video. Thank u
Sooo very true...I hear you 100% your story, like you wrote about me. Also I am so medically traumatized mostly from be it surgeries/medications/even chiropractors etc All have made me permanently worse more symptoms n severe under treated chronic pain 🤯 has been over 20 years. Now at 65 and homebound. So frightening to go or think about any further trtmts!! Self care only for oast five years... Now have large lump in breast , under arm and few other places ,. I am most certain cancer really cause mire wow pain throughout body... Yet id rather die than deal with any medical wow ever again...idk ... Best to all 💖🙏✨
Yeah... Your body is not supposed to betray you. 😓 Pain is not a lifestyle. You said it all so well. Making me ball like a baby. You so completely get me. In fact, I never felt more understood. I feel validated. ♥️
I am also experiencing this, especially after a extremely physically & emotionally traumatic hospital stay with multiple surgeries & coming close to not making it recently. I have had multiple chronic illnesses for 30 yrs.
So glad I stumbled on this video!! Didn’t know there was a name for what I was experiencing, but glad to now know what it is and that other people have experienced this as well
I was looking for videos on medical trauma (meaning mental and emotional trauma that patients have, not 'Trauma' as the medical professionals call the physical broken bones etc...very different) and found very little, but I found you and your video really spoke to me. Long story short I have a congenital heart defect with lots of added things on top, like strokes etc. I am 37, had strokes when I was 30. I have always been quite resilient of physical stuff and always been a happy soul, but when I had 2 strokes that took a huge psychological toll including deep depression and trying twice to take my own life. Got better from that, then Covid hit, which meant as a shielded person being locked away basically for nearly 3 years, which took it's toll too, and making me think of rebelling. I Its just things are slowly taking their toll (sorry to be use that phrase again) and I don't know what to do about it. I've been turned down from even an interview as well, for a job I am perfectly capable of doing, so I think that might be disability discrimination. I feel like I am turning from an asset in society to a burden, just because of how people perceive the disabilities. Anyway, thank you for giving me this vid and sharing the fact that others are going through similar situations and facing similar challenged.
I am so traumatised by my practice I have dissociated. I can't go back there and have no option of changing practices. I'm locked into a system that denies me that right. Chronic conditions and medical gaslighting has destroyed me mentally . I can't interact with people and have no desire to leave my home.
Thank you for this video, my nightmare started in March of 2015 when I was rushed to hospital with a bowel obstruction, perforation, sepsis and septic shock. I wasn't expected to survive, I required emergency surgery and woke with a colostomy. The first 2 weeks however I was in ICU, intubated and basically on life support. I spent another 4 week in hospital and then discharged to my mother's for another 3 month as I was discharged with a vac. Complication from infection. After all of this I developed continual bladder infections. 2017 I was again admitted to ICU but this time for pneumococcal pneumonia: the sepsis caused some lung damage. 2019 I was once again rushed to hospital, this time for stroke(s): I ended up suffering from 3 mini strokes. During tests they found scaring from a past stroke, one I didn't know about. An aneurism was discovered at this time as well which is now being monitored. I was in ICU for one week and on the hematology floor. During my stay in ICU they specialist diagnosed me with TTP a rare autoimmune blood disorder. Due to the constant bladder infections I developed a rare bladder disorder diffuse leukoplakia of the bladder. I have had bladder surgery in February of this year and undergone a 6 week intravesical / bladder installation/ HELD (once a week). This is when a cocktail of medication is directly placed into the bladder. I am still waiting on hernia surgery, started developing a parastomal hernia along with an incisional hernia within the first year of my colostomy that is going to require major surgery. My body is failing me with one chronic illness after another. I have got so much going on with the Fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoporosis, hypothyroidism on top of the above I am so stressed and overwhelmed by it all and waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Wow you have dealt with way too much for one person to handle. You must be extremely strong to have made it through so far. My thoughts and prayers go out to you ❤
I can't imagine.. I'm so sorry, how incredibly difficult it has been for you. There are no words, all I can say is Im praying for you. And so many other people here who have shared their experiences.
You are soooo right. I have had chronic Illnesses for a long time now, but nothing compared to what has happened this spring. Heart failure, pulmonary hypertension, 3 Acute kidney injuries. Then in sept I needed emergency surgery during the hight of the 4th wave of Covid. I think the trauma from all the crap surrounding this surgery really triggered a response to all the built up medical traumas that have happened to me. I had to wait over 72 hours for the surgery because I was so high risk for anesthetic that I had to wait till the right people and space on the right unit ( if needed) to have surgery. Good thing is my body handled it ok, with minor complications post op. I am now on the struggle bus big time, and we ( mental health professionals) always assume it’s the childhood trauma reappearing, until one night I had a typical trauma dream, but one part where a rope is used was now my oxygen tubing. It’s also the constant worry about quality of life, being a burden on people ( if any stick around long enough) the list goes on and on. I live in a place where it is legal to medically end your life. There are specific criteria that must be met, and I worry that even if I meet those criteria, I will be denied access to it b/c of my previous mental health struggles. I want to be able to choose when enough is enough. I do agree that more people need to speak out about this without others In particular the medical community being judgmental, or thinking you are attention seeking. Only you know what it’s like to be you, and I would hope people are open to hearing it. I don’t want pity, I just want acceptance, and support. Thank you so much for sharing, you’ve been so brave!
So glad you are talking about this. This is so rarely mentioned. I've been so close to death multiple times and although I m better now, that being ridiculed by doctors, feeling so abandoned, being so fearful, not sure whether I can survive or not is still in my body...
WOW,........ SO RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had complex health issues for over twenty years - you are speaking my life experience!!!!! How do we raise awareness of this??? Can we set up a support group?
I feel I have something similar to this but people think it’s all in my head, mind over matter, or that I’m a hypochondriac. Very long story short: I had norovirus twice in 2010. It was the most horrific few days. I’ve had sickness and diarrhoea bugs before but this was something ELSE. The level of nausea was so severe I would’ve gladly pressed the off-switch on my life if given the option. Ever since then I have lived in fear of experiencing this extreme nausea again. It’s not the vomiting- being sick doesn’t bother me- but I simply cannot handle the sensation of sustained nausea at that level. I want to tear my skin off and escape, but you can’t escape your own body! It has destroyed my life ever since, the fear of it returning, despite trying everything to help (anti sickness tablets, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, CBT, etc). People say, “you won’t die!” like that’s the worst thing that can happen- no, living a life suffering like this is worse! I honestly feel I have a PTSD response to the trauma of how deathly ill I felt in 2010. It only lasted a few days but the impact of it has lingered for 13 years and counting. Recently I felt okay enough in my mind to take a trip abroad. For the first few days I was fine, albeit very vigilant about what I ate in case I picked up a bug. Day 3 I had horrific nausea out of the blue. It went on and on & the tablets didn’t work. I went to hospital, they couldn’t find anything. I got home and still it continued. Even when I had the Noro it didn’t last that long! I could not cope and had some very dark thoughts. Test results all negative, doctors looking at me like it was all in my head. I have had anxious nausea before but it was nothing like this. 11/10 for days on end, couldn’t eat, couldn’t function. I KNOW for a fact there’s something physically wrong. I’ve been through some incredibly stressful personal situations from 2010 to now which could’ve easily caused the nausea to return if it was purely mental, but they didn’t. After a few weeks I felt a little better and started to get back to normal physically, despite my mental health having taken a nosedive back to how awful it was just after the Noro in 2010. Then a month later, out of the blue, the nausea returned. It lasted for the same amount of time and I was at the end of my rope. Every second of every day was torture and nothing helped. I’m now a month past that last episode and waiting for a endoscopy to have a look and see if there’s gastritis or something in my stomach. I hope they find something! Then I can prove to everyone else it’s not just in my head! The worst thing would be that nothing is found and I’m stuck never knowing what caused it. I keep getting “flashbacks” to being on holiday when I was ill - what the room looked like, the noises outside, certain places we visited. It’s like my brain is again stuck on the health trauma I experienced.
I was diagnosed with illness induced ptsd today. When I searched the term this is the first video that came up. Thank you so much for posting this. This is the first time I’ve ever heard someone explain what I’m going through. While I wish that you didn’t have to experience this, sharing your thoughts has made me feel seen and validated.
You've just put into words what I've lived with since I was 20 years old.......I'm now 65. I am feeling physically better since my stoma surgery 2 and a half years ago but still the trauma persists. This is helping me to be a little more patient with myself. Thank you. Sending you hugs 🌺🌷🦋💞
Thank you so much for this comment- And I take my hat off to you for being so strong and living with this all these years... it can be so difficult and yet the trauma is rarely spoken about
This!! You sharing this has me in tears. This is exactly what I'm going through. I have been at the end of my rope, but I just emailed this to myself. But it's not just for me. This will now be shared with my therapist, my NP, my family, my friends, and whoever else needs to hear about this. Thank you...may your day be peaceful and kind. 💗
Thanks for sharing this. I know, I have been traumatised by my 5 to 6 major surgeries over the last 40 years. I was diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome which means I have a mis-match repair gene, which leaves one open to a number of cancers… large/small bowel cancers, and or kidney, bladder, gynaecological cancers to name a few, and the ongoing complications that occur as a result of these different surgeries. I am subject to 3 monthly pet scans tests, different costly ongoing treatments. I have to learn to live with this, knowing that it will never go away. There is always a cloud over my head. When will the next diagnosis occur.? You are so right about illness induced trauma and post-traumatic stress. No one really understands unless they have been going through similar things. It is like a roller coaster ride…… great days/ rotten, agonising days. It is still taking time to adjust. Living in the moment, talking about it, and being creative has helped me. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Take care. Blessings to you🌸❤️💕
Living with Crohns since 1992 I can totally relate to the “Fight or flight” mentality. You my dear are very wise. I am so glad that there are sites like yours to watch & listen to. When I had my BIG 1st surgery (Hemi Colectomy) there weren’t any sites like this to know that there are others that have the same medical issues. I have been really thinking of starting my own youtube channel to let people know that they aren’t alone. Trauma induced illness and vice versa “Illness induced trauma” We can’t always bounce back and that is ok. I had to cry in front of a judge to get my permanent didability aporoved and I was mortified to do that, but honestly it should have been done & granted many many years ago. Things need to change!!
Today's my 34th birthday, marking 20 years of chronic illness and mental illness (which I also consider chronic illness!) and it is honestly so depressing. I was diagnosed with PTSD (which after researching I believe is actually C-PTSD!) from my childhood at around 19 years of age, and I honestly believe I very likely have C-PTSD from my multiple chronic mental and physical illnesses (that's how I like to describe them since, like I said before, mental illness is also technically chronic illness!), as these 20 years have been so traumatic. I've been wondering for a while now if having to deal with chronic illnesses can cause PTSD, or at the least, trauma, like you've described, and I agree, yes!
Hi Cassandra, complex PTSD is often caused by reoccurring/ long term trauma regardless of what they are. Some people will disagree with this especially when it comes to mental illness, because they are to ignorant, to realize that PTSD is not an illness that just affects soldiers. Trauma really affects your central nervous system, which is why something so little can cause our bodies to go into flight or fight. Some days I can’t handle the colour red ( I still have not been able to make a link to an event) my brain/ body has or the smell of something causes me to disassociate.
I'm so glad I found you and yes I really relate to how you feel and I was diagnosed with ptsd and it's very difficult. I pray that you start to feel better emotionally and physically tfs your story. ❤
Thank you so much for this video. I've been severely ill since I was a small child. I'm now 27 and I've come so far, but I'm still not well yet. I've fought for my health going to 30+ doctors over the course of the last 10 years and it's really taken a toll. I've been struggling so much with intense daily fear. A heavy pit in my stomach. I kept trying to understand what I was so worried about, and I finally realized that I've been in so much pain that it's hard not to expect everything to be painful. I've been working through my childhood traumas with a form of subconscious meditation/inner child healing, but I'm not sure how to heal this since there isn't one specific memory, it's more of 25 years of constant, excruciating pain. This is the best video I've seen on the topic, it's definitely not talked about enough. But just listening to your story and feeling heard and validated, I could feel a healing from that. Bless you and your health 💕🙏
My heart goes out to you! Have you tried Rosen therapy or Somatic Experiencing by Dr. Peter Levine? The latter can be practised on you own, too. I've also found help form the Change Triangle model (dealing with how negative emotions can highjack the positive) but I'm not sure if that's applicable here.
I had major surgery for a rare ovarian tumour in 2020, I like you have lived in that constant fear of complications and what if's ect. I only recently had to go back to the hospital i had my surgery in for some blood work and my god, talk about that cup being full and everything coming out. Everything and i mean everything about the place just set me off, the lay out, the smell, even the bloody carpark. I have known since I got diagnosed that something just has not been right with me but quite honestly just did not know who to turn to!? Unless you have been through something like this then your really just have no idea what it feels like and it is soo incredibly isolating. People just expect you to bounce back like you said, your alive, it could have been worse without considering for one minute that its just not that simple. This crap does not end! Iv recently reached out to talk to someone about how this is effecting me and have been referred for intense CBT, I really want to thank you for putting this video out and talking about it x
Thank you so much for making this video and for talking about this💜 you worded everything so well and I was literally sitting here nodding my head up and down agreeing with what you were saying the entire time. You’re definitely not alone in this and thank you for opening the conversation 💜
Watching this again two year's later and I'm still so angry. Is it because we are women? I complained of lower abdomen pain for four years! I was given endless antidepressants...which just didn't compute. The pressure was so severe that I struggled to urinate. And one day my intestines ruptured and poisoned every square inch of my body. My organs shut down and I died only to be brought back with an ostomy bag and the worse pain I've ever experienced. I will never be ok again...and had they done a simply CT scan they would have seen I had severe diverticulitis. Four year's later and I get constant blockages...candida everywhere and can drink nothing but water and eat bland foods. When I beg for help they offer me antidepressants...because that will solve bleeding from my stoma.
So many people use the word “trauma” in a casual fashion (“And then my significant other told me I had a stain on my shirt and I was traumatized by everyone seeing it”) that it has lost a lot of its meaning. Claiming trauma can feel trendy and attention-seeking now. but you’re right about the drip-drip-drip of the damage chronic illness causes. It’s a bit like having a stalagmite build up over time until it stabs us through the heart. Thank you for starting this conversation. I wish you some peace and healing.
I was watering my plants one day...remember screaming from the worst pain I've ever experienced and waking up two weeks later in the hospital. I was septic, my intestine ruptured and also acquired hospital pneumonia...and bam I have a bag, insane pain, and I'm told I'm blessed. But now I feel resentment that they saved my for this...hell on earth. Not taking away from your experiences, just relating. I'm thinking of asking for anxiety medicine. Is that an option for you? I'm so sorry sweetheart girl. You don't deserve this. Any of it.
So sorry to hear your experience, how are you doing now? No shame in asking for some help, whether that is medication or not. I went on medication for about 6 weeks but couldn't put up with the side effects unfortunately :(.
Thank you for making this, for speaking up. I also deal with this, and medical PTSD. I've had 6 surgeries. 2 open heart surgeries, (first at 7 years old), both hips, gallbladder, and my Ileostomy surgery March 15. Failed all Crohn's meds and biologicals, and then I had several complications after surgery. I lived with my friend for 2 months post-surgery, away from my cats and my partner. I also have several other medical conditions that have made me go on disability, not able to be a Nurse anymore. Now that I'm back in my apt with my partner and cats, it's a little bit more of an internal struggle. Like you, the anxiety over any twinge of pain or weird physical pain, makes me panic inside. I was ignored when I spoke up and said I had an infection, and ended up in the ER and had to have my scar cut open at the bottom because yeah, I was right, there was a leftover infection. So I'm having my wound packed every second day now, and hoping it stays healing well. It's so overwhelming. I've been sick for so long, and have had extreme pain, both surgical and chronic, and it can be so validating to know that there are others who are going through the same thing. Looking forward to seeing your channel grow and it's so good (and not good at the same time) to see all these comments validating you and everyone else!
Thank you for bringing this up. Unfortunately I can tell you that it's several magnitudes worse when it's a rare illness which doctors refuse to diagnose because they don't really understand it, and you end up being blamed for inventing the whole thing or making yourself sick either consciously or unconsciously. Then you get a further trauma specifically about the DOCTORS, and start to try avoiding them, and there's even more symptoms and you're even more alone because at some point you can't even talk to people around you because many of them won't believe you without that diagnosis either. Sorry, that turned into a bit of a whine.
Am still scared from cancer never mind colitis it’s just something else to worry about it’s harder than what anybody says we’re not robots we’re human god bless all of us going through this we’re here for each other am suffering terribly hands up 🙌
Thank you for your video. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have medical trauma PTSD but I'm lucky to have a good health since years now. I really wish you all the physical and emotional healing you deserve, you said that you were not a superwoman but you are. Nobody should go through this kind of stuff, you're strong. Lot of love and healing to you!
I absolutely understand after going through 15 years of UC, getting the ileostomy in Jan has been a life saver. I am able to travel and do things without worrying about where is the restroom. Thank you so much for sharing, you have been helpful to me and my journey as I finally am learning to enjoy my life now.
Thank you for your insights! I'm on the beginning side of something analogous to what you are going through. I'm still dealing with the doctors not hearing what I'm saying and suggesting yet another treatment that doesn't seem to work. You've helped me realise that I need to strengthen my resolve to be heard! If I can get the doctors to listen to me now, maybe, if I'm lucky, I can avoid some hardships later on. May you continue to heal inside and out and may the rest of your recovery be free of incident, and, for lack of a better term, "boring."
I completely understand this, been in this place and still go back to this place. I'm going through alot of new things right now thats scary and just want to know whats going on and the reason and prey its nothing bad. Also had pre-op assessment today and will be having a call with anaesthetist soon and also have to call the stoma nurses so that I can chat with them and get info of them before the surgery. Just want to know these new things are not going to put my surgery on hold as I'm so far past desperate for it. I got to say I am a very spiritual person and yr energy that Comes off u is so light, caring, loving. U really have a beautiful energy and soul. Sending u lots of light and healing lovely. Also u are superwoman, don't forget kryptonite is superwoman and Superman's weakness so therefore you are still Superwoman lovely it's just this is your kryptonite. Lovely seeing a video off u as I been thinking of u and wondering how u are doing ⭐🙌🏻🥰 xx
@@gutmylifeback7926 awwww I'm glad my comment has made yr day, I ment every word lovely. Thank u so much hun, I'm so glad I found u on hear and now follow yr insta aswell. Its like u came up just at the right time for me. Deffo ment to be and I was ment to find u at that moment in my life xx 🙌🏻🥰⭐
Thank you for sharing 💕 this is such a crazy thing. Its not talked about and I've really struggled since my diagnosis. Trying to stay positive to survive takes a toll.
I feel you have said everything that I feel myself and I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, totally relate. These feelings thoughts fears anxiety feeling of no safety are enviable after all we've been through for me I use mindfulness to ground my anxious thoughts and affirming, I am safe even if I don't feel safe also I will say to myself everything is going to be alight. This seems to work sometimes it's rest or a nap I need to self soothe these emotions don't know if this makes sense. Your videos are awesome inspiring and informative thank you so much for sharing your journey and experiences love and hugs xx
Grounding is SO helpful! I agree! I try to get out into nature, on grass or touching sand, trees, whatever helps and do this. I also have a mindfulness journal from Amazon that is AMAZING. I also agree on the naps or rest and getting away from social media for a bit, and then times like this, when seeing others who have gone through so much and can relate!
Trauma made me neurodivergent...ADHD which shows as anxiety and depression, light, noise/sound sensitive and frustrated irritability grumpiness that can't plan or transition do the next thing, like get dressed.
Often the cup doesn't flow over when it's full (the cup can always grow more) but when it stops getting fuller. So when there is a moment of rest, and you feel finally save enough to process those built up emotions.
I had a severe adverse reaction to the covid vaccine and experience a lot of medical trauma. I have daily flashbacks to doctors appointments ive had where the doctors wont listen to me or my positive test results. It is hell.
@@gutmylifeback7926 believe me, I went into hospital ( long story ) and came out with a stoma.... was told the basics of bag change had to learn quickly... just by chance I saw you guys online ( my new angels ) 🙏and life has been much easier reading and learning... thank you guys and you are my Golden Generation as well as the NHS...❤️
Am having counciling after battling breast cancer with a mastectomy then a broken hip with osteoporosis arthritis and spondylitis now colitis it’s one thing after another my body cannot take any more it just can’t I cry am in a wheelchair it tolls on your body am tired all the time on morphine patches and strong pain meds it all gets to much the pain how to cope everyday 🤗😊💗🌺🌈🙏🇬🇧
Medical trauma shouldn’t be foreign to a good psychotherapist. Our trauma is psychologically no different than the trauma that front line workers experience everyday.… big and small traumas for the psychy. Most definitely I have medical PTSD. Like everyone else with chronic illness my situation isn’t any different than others. For me I’m very triggered by places, smells, sounds, e.g. drs office that treated me age 13 and again age 43 when I suddenly went blind (that’s a bit better right now, but vision has only months left ) or driving past spots on the road where I’ve been layed out on the side of the road violently ill (you do not want details) then having seizures, or going past a rest stop where I’m too compromised to see myself to the restroom and have to be carried (now I use a wheelchair), or passing a doctors office that underserved me and gaslighted me 5 years only making me loose valuable time and permanent loss of all body functions. The examples go on and on like others. What is not mentioned herein are the traumas our care givers, loved ones experience. My poor sweet amazing husband I don’t know his experiences because I’m usually unconscious. However, I can tell he & my now adult children totally have PTSD.😢😢 On a good note I can tell you from experience what has worked the best to manage any type of trauma is doing somatic based therapy, e.g. TRM, C-TRM, tapping, EFT, yoga, meditation, progressive relaxation Ti Chi, Qui Gong, etc. Somatic therapy helps our body break the anx loop cycle and reconnects our brain & body. (P.S. I am a medically retired psychotherapist). Peace my fellow warriors. We got this!! Fight on friends.
I sometimes forget how traumatized I am from my chronic illness until it comes up in conversation and then suddenly I’m crying. Thanks for spreading awareness
I feel like you’re reading my diary and the lack of understanding from everyone. The loss of friends and family.
I'm in that constant state of extreme stress and anxiety.
It's horrible, and has made my situation worse. But, my life was completely destroyed.
I lost my family, I lost my career job, then Lost so much more... im hurting so horrible... I can't take it. I got horrible depression... my life I knew, and loved.... it's over and I can't accept it no matter what the psychologist says...
I'm completely devastated... and depression, anxiety, insomnia... added to my misery... has killed my soul.
I'm all alone now, without my family, and my job.... Im unable to leave the apt with these mental illnesses. I feel totally afraid, and lost.. I don't want to live anymore.
Medical gaslighting caused me some sort of mental illness. I keep thinking i'm depressed, anxious and have ptsd. I feel I have no motivation or purpose. I know my chronic symptoms and illnesses are real but being told I'm 'normal' and then receiving no guidance about how I feel is so traumatic. I'm the most depressed version of myself it's like happy me just packed up and left. I was happy for 6 months but 4 months of that I didn't visit my doctors because of gaslighting. They have hurt me again. The only way to heal my mind is to not go to get medical help which is wrong, worrying and sad update in new comment
Update: I am in a better state of mind now and am trying to get help from my gp with no expectations each appointment. Give yourself time, meditate, get outside, eat juicy fruit, focus on what brings you joy and remember you are in control. Take tiny steps that make you feel in control, that helps alot. Tiny steps create big ones 💕
@@Marisanicole23 have you ever checked which vitamin and nutrient deficiencies or excesses might cause some of your symptoms? Lots of B vitamins can cause depression if you're not getting enough. And lack of zinc is often correlated with anxiety. Low tyrosine causes low motivation. If several of these match you experience, you might have a digestive issue. Trouble getting enough of the building blocks of Happy.
Even if (or more likely when) this does not offer a complete solution, this kind of research and thought exercise might give you guidelines to follow for at least some improvement.
A patient organization for your specific illness, or lacking that, a generalized bunch of people come together for rare diseases might offer some much needed peer support.
I wish you strength, light and joy.
I'm sitting here in uncontrollable tears after watching your video on illness induced trauma. I can honestly say that I can relate to absolutely everything you said, the only difference being that you and I suffer from different illnesses, but both of us have been handed chronic, incurable lifelong diagnosis. For both of us, there is no end in sight which in itself, that mere thought, statement and reality is traumatizing enough. Add on the daily battle to just merely survive... morning, noon and night, round the clock struggle with symptoms, surgeries, procedures, countless disheartening doctors visits, repeatedly being misdiagnosed, having to ingest more medications in a day then food and drink, just to try to dull the symptoms enough to keep our heads above water so as to not drown from the physical, psychological, and emotional effects that control our very being. You were able to explain SO MANY DIFFERENT FEELINGS and thoughts that I haven't been able to put into words in the 2 decades of suffering I have enduredi I too have more recently been dealing with nonstop insane levels and amounts of anxiety and sheer panic, completely crippling to the point I cannot breathe, I cannot lay down, yet I cannot get up to do anything, I completely cannot function. I sit on the side of my bed, rocking myself as I sob unable to catch my breath. The terror of not being able to understand what the hell is happening, if I will always feel this way and not knowing....even the doctors not if it will ever end. Most people completely don't understand and it's heartbreaking when you realize how very few even care to understand what you are going through
...will put you in a severe depth of depression all in itself. When "normal " people experience a trauma that puts them in a state of fight or flight, find themselves exhausted and drained trying to bounce back and recover when the truth is there are those of us who never leave the fight or flight phase, we never bounce back, never recover, we never heal. Then how come others can't begin to understand how disabling and exhausting this is for us, and try to put themselves in our shoes, to try and understand our level of suffering. Unfortunately it's just easier and more convenient for most to just ignore and overlook the depth of courage, strength, willpower, and motivation it takes us just to survive another hour...losing there patience with us, losing any kind of closeness or relationship we might have ever had previously, thus, even further intensifying our level of depression, anxiety, pain. Of course it's draining to be a caretaker, to live with or be around someone someone who is constantly suffering, but the truth is, they have the option to walk away, end it and no longer deal with it. There is never an end for us, we don't have the option to walk away from it, even for a few minutes! So MAJOR KUDOS go those of you who are willing to stay by your side, support your and fight with you and not give up. There are VERY VERY few of you willing to give of yourself like that and you deserve ALOT of credit! much love to those of you that put in the time, energy and effort to educate yourselves of your loved ones condition/s so that you are better able to understand, relate to and support the ones with the illness. I'm sure it's a daunting task with a very helpless feeling watching your loved one suffer, but know that you should be very much appreciated for giving of yourself like that.
I apologize for rambling on, what you had to say in your video just unleashed so many hidden thoughts and feelings that I didn't even realize existed..
So, to my fellow sufferers of -
Lupus/SLE; Bilateral neurogenic and arterial thoracic outlet syndrome from Bilateral cervical ribs that extened from c-7 in my neck all the way down and fusing to my first ribs
Creating extensive scarring on my nerves, arteries and muscle damage and nerve damage in the entire brachial plexus region/neck , causing suicidal amounts of pain, Mixed connective tissue disease, Idiopathic hypersomnia, arthritis, bulging disc's and a broken lamina in the spine, delusion disorder, depression, anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia, silent heart attacks with 3 leaking valves in the heart,kidney stones and pyelonephritis, raynauds phenomenon, various mold poisoning/toxicity, oooprpf ADHD, migraine headaches, neuropathy in all 4 limbs, complex regional pain syndrome, severe chronic pain body wide in all muscles and joints, numerous lesions on the brain, lupus skin lesions bodywide mostly focused on the face with extensive scarring (drastically affecting my self confidence and self worth further extensifying depression and anxiety,appearance leaving me single and unable to build/or even start any kind of romantic relationship,, other unknown reoccurring painful
skin rashes/blisters and disorders that scar or don't heal, tardive dysconesia, restless leg syndrome,
Degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, reoccurring bursitis in the hip, etc. There are more that I either can't remember due to severe brain fog, or I just don't know how to spell lol. 😂
May you all find the strength, willpower, courage and perseverance to make it through another day and overcome the horrific hand you were dealt. You never know how strong you are until strong is your only choice. ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience. I SO relate!!!
Much love xxx
I have chronic illness and i love that you're talking about this. I am bedbound today and sat here i feel like I've got a friend talking to me who understands, now I don't need to keep on trying to vent to people who won't understand, hunting for validation they cannot give me. Thank you for making me feel less alone and i wish you all the best in your illness recovery
TH-cam channel - pain free you - worth checking out. Best to all going thru this 🤯 journey.🌸 ❤
I just watched a video about medical ptsd (medical induced trauma) and this is where my trauma comes from, not the illness.
As a person who was diagnosed with PTSD after suffering from long Covid for over a year I totally feel this. Nobody understands. Constantly being afraid that you’re gonna die. And even scarier, since Covid was so new and long Covid even newer, nobody can give me a prediction of if or when I’ll get better. How long that better will last. Or if this is just my new life. I definitely needed to see this video. Thank u
Sooo very true...I hear you 100% your story, like you wrote about me. Also I am so medically traumatized mostly from be it surgeries/medications/even chiropractors etc All have made me permanently worse more symptoms n severe under treated chronic pain 🤯 has been over 20 years. Now at 65 and homebound. So frightening to go or think about any further trtmts!! Self care only for oast five years... Now have large lump in breast , under arm and few other places ,. I am most certain cancer really cause mire wow pain throughout body... Yet id rather die than deal with any medical wow ever again...idk ... Best to all
💖🙏✨
Thank you! I am an ischemic stroke survivor and I am experiencing this trauma
Yeah... Your body is not supposed to betray you. 😓
Pain is not a lifestyle.
You said it all so well.
Making me ball like a baby.
You so completely get me.
In fact, I never felt more understood.
I feel validated.
♥️
I am also experiencing this, especially after a extremely physically & emotionally traumatic hospital stay with multiple surgeries & coming close to not making it recently. I have had multiple chronic illnesses for 30 yrs.
So glad I stumbled on this video!! Didn’t know there was a name for what I was experiencing, but glad to now know what it is and that other people have experienced this as well
I was looking for videos on medical trauma (meaning mental and emotional trauma that patients have, not 'Trauma' as the medical professionals call the physical broken bones etc...very different) and found very little, but I found you and your video really spoke to me.
Long story short I have a congenital heart defect with lots of added things on top, like strokes etc. I am 37, had strokes when I was 30. I have always been quite resilient of physical stuff and always been a happy soul, but when I had 2 strokes that took a huge psychological toll including deep depression and trying twice to take my own life. Got better from that, then Covid hit, which meant as a shielded person being locked away basically for nearly 3 years, which took it's toll too, and making me think of rebelling. I
Its just things are slowly taking their toll (sorry to be use that phrase again) and I don't know what to do about it. I've been turned down from even an interview as well, for a job I am perfectly capable of doing, so I think that might be disability discrimination. I feel like I am turning from an asset in society to a burden, just because of how people perceive the disabilities.
Anyway, thank you for giving me this vid and sharing the fact that others are going through similar situations and facing similar challenged.
Diagnosed 13 years ago. It’s been so hard. 14 major surgeries.. So difficult. Thank you for talking about it.
I am so traumatised by my practice I have dissociated. I can't go back there and have no option of changing practices. I'm locked into a system that denies me that right. Chronic conditions and medical gaslighting has destroyed me mentally . I can't interact with people and have no desire to leave my home.
Thank you for this video, my nightmare started in March of 2015 when I was rushed to hospital with a bowel obstruction, perforation, sepsis and septic shock. I wasn't expected to survive, I required emergency surgery and woke with a colostomy. The first 2 weeks however I was in ICU, intubated and basically on life support. I spent another 4 week in hospital and then discharged to my mother's for another 3 month as I was discharged with a vac. Complication from infection. After all of this I developed continual bladder infections.
2017 I was again admitted to ICU but this time for pneumococcal pneumonia: the sepsis caused some lung damage.
2019 I was once again rushed to hospital, this time for stroke(s): I ended up suffering from 3 mini strokes. During tests they found scaring from a past stroke, one I didn't know about. An aneurism was discovered at this time as well which is now being monitored. I was in ICU for one week and on the hematology floor. During my stay in ICU they specialist diagnosed me with TTP a rare autoimmune blood disorder.
Due to the constant bladder infections I developed a rare bladder disorder diffuse leukoplakia of the bladder. I have had bladder surgery in February of this year and undergone a 6 week intravesical / bladder installation/ HELD (once a week). This is when a cocktail of medication is directly placed into the bladder.
I am still waiting on hernia surgery, started developing a parastomal hernia along with an incisional hernia within the first year of my colostomy that is going to require major surgery. My body is failing me with one chronic illness after another. I have got so much going on with the Fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoporosis, hypothyroidism on top of the above I am so stressed and overwhelmed by it all and waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Wow you have dealt with way too much for one person to handle. You must be extremely strong to have made it through so far. My thoughts and prayers go out to you ❤
I can't imagine.. I'm so sorry, how incredibly difficult it has been for you. There are no words, all I can say is Im praying for you.
And so many other people here who have shared their experiences.
You are soooo right. I have had chronic Illnesses for a long time now, but nothing compared to what has happened this spring. Heart failure, pulmonary hypertension, 3 Acute kidney injuries. Then in sept I needed emergency surgery during the hight of the 4th wave of Covid. I think the trauma from all the crap surrounding this surgery really triggered a response to all the built up medical traumas that have happened to me. I had to wait over 72 hours for the surgery because I was so high risk for anesthetic that I had to wait till the right people and space on the right unit ( if needed) to have surgery. Good thing is my body handled it ok, with minor complications post op. I am now on the struggle bus big time, and we ( mental health professionals) always assume it’s the childhood trauma reappearing, until one night I had a typical trauma dream, but one part where a rope is used was now my oxygen tubing. It’s also the constant worry about quality of life, being a burden on people ( if any stick around long enough) the list goes on and on. I live in a place where it is legal to medically end your life. There are specific criteria that must be met, and I worry that even if I meet those criteria, I will be denied access to it b/c of my previous mental health struggles. I want to be able to choose when enough is enough.
I do agree that more people need to speak out about this without others In particular the medical community being judgmental, or thinking you are attention seeking. Only you know what it’s like to be you, and I would hope people are open to hearing it. I don’t want pity, I just want acceptance, and support.
Thank you so much for sharing, you’ve been so brave!
3:16 4:30 omg I’m going to cry with how much I relate to all of this
So glad you are talking about this. This is so rarely mentioned. I've been so close to death multiple times and although I m better now, that being ridiculed by doctors, feeling so abandoned, being so fearful, not sure whether I can survive or not is still in my body...
WOW,........ SO RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had complex health issues for over twenty years - you are speaking my life experience!!!!! How do we raise awareness of this???
Can we set up a support group?
I feel I have something similar to this but people think it’s all in my head, mind over matter, or that I’m a hypochondriac.
Very long story short: I had norovirus twice in 2010. It was the most horrific few days. I’ve had sickness and diarrhoea bugs before but this was something ELSE. The level of nausea was so severe I would’ve gladly pressed the off-switch on my life if given the option.
Ever since then I have lived in fear of experiencing this extreme nausea again. It’s not the vomiting- being sick doesn’t bother me- but I simply cannot handle the sensation of sustained nausea at that level. I want to tear my skin off and escape, but you can’t escape your own body! It has destroyed my life ever since, the fear of it returning, despite trying everything to help (anti sickness tablets, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, CBT, etc). People say, “you won’t die!” like that’s the worst thing that can happen- no, living a life suffering like this is worse!
I honestly feel I have a PTSD response to the trauma of how deathly ill I felt in 2010. It only lasted a few days but the impact of it has lingered for 13 years and counting.
Recently I felt okay enough in my mind to take a trip abroad. For the first few days I was fine, albeit very vigilant about what I ate in case I picked up a bug. Day 3 I had horrific nausea out of the blue. It went on and on & the tablets didn’t work. I went to hospital, they couldn’t find anything. I got home and still it continued. Even when I had the Noro it didn’t last that long! I could not cope and had some very dark thoughts. Test results all negative, doctors looking at me like it was all in my head. I have had anxious nausea before but it was nothing like this. 11/10 for days on end, couldn’t eat, couldn’t function. I KNOW for a fact there’s something physically wrong. I’ve been through some incredibly stressful personal situations from 2010 to now which could’ve easily caused the nausea to return if it was purely mental, but they didn’t.
After a few weeks I felt a little better and started to get back to normal physically, despite my mental health having taken a nosedive back to how awful it was just after the Noro in 2010. Then a month later, out of the blue, the nausea returned. It lasted for the same amount of time and I was at the end of my rope. Every second of every day was torture and nothing helped.
I’m now a month past that last episode and waiting for a endoscopy to have a look and see if there’s gastritis or something in my stomach. I hope they find something! Then I can prove to everyone else it’s not just in my head! The worst thing would be that nothing is found and I’m stuck never knowing what caused it.
I keep getting “flashbacks” to being on holiday when I was ill - what the room looked like, the noises outside, certain places we visited. It’s like my brain is again stuck on the health trauma I experienced.
It's time to start therapy
😢
I was diagnosed with illness induced ptsd today. When I searched the term this is the first video that came up. Thank you so much for posting this. This is the first time I’ve ever heard someone explain what I’m going through. While I wish that you didn’t have to experience this, sharing your thoughts has made me feel seen and validated.
You've just put into words what I've lived with since I was 20 years old.......I'm now 65.
I am feeling physically better since my stoma surgery 2 and a half years ago but still the trauma persists.
This is helping me to be a little more patient with myself. Thank you.
Sending you hugs 🌺🌷🦋💞
Thank you so much for this comment- And I take my hat off to you for being so strong and living with this all these years... it can be so difficult and yet the trauma is rarely spoken about
This!! You sharing this has me in tears. This is exactly what I'm going through. I have been at the end of my rope, but I just emailed this to myself.
But it's not just for me. This will now be shared with my therapist, my NP, my family, my friends, and whoever else needs to hear about this. Thank you...may your day be peaceful and kind. 💗
Thanks for sharing this.
I know, I have been traumatised by my 5 to 6 major surgeries over the last 40 years. I was diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome which means I have a mis-match repair gene, which leaves one open to a number of cancers… large/small bowel cancers, and or kidney, bladder, gynaecological cancers to name a few, and the ongoing complications that occur as a result of these different surgeries. I am subject to 3 monthly pet scans tests, different costly ongoing treatments. I have to learn to live with this, knowing that it will never go away. There is always a cloud over my head. When will the next diagnosis occur.? You are so right about illness induced trauma and post-traumatic stress. No one really understands unless they have been going through similar things. It is like a roller coaster ride…… great days/ rotten, agonising days. It is still taking time to adjust. Living in the moment, talking about it, and being creative has helped me. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. Take care. Blessings to you🌸❤️💕
Living with Crohns since 1992 I can totally relate to the “Fight or flight” mentality. You my dear are very wise. I am so glad that there are sites like yours to watch & listen to. When I had my BIG 1st surgery (Hemi Colectomy) there weren’t any sites like this to know that there are others that have the same medical issues. I have been really thinking of starting my own youtube channel to let people know that they aren’t alone. Trauma induced illness and vice versa “Illness induced trauma” We can’t always bounce back and that is ok. I had to cry in front of a judge to get my permanent didability aporoved and I was mortified to do that, but honestly it should have been done & granted many many years ago. Things need to change!!
Thank you so much for this comment and your support it means so much to me!
Today's my 34th birthday, marking 20 years of chronic illness and mental illness (which I also consider chronic illness!) and it is honestly so depressing. I was diagnosed with PTSD (which after researching I believe is actually C-PTSD!) from my childhood at around 19 years of age, and I honestly believe I very likely have C-PTSD from my multiple chronic mental and physical illnesses (that's how I like to describe them since, like I said before, mental illness is also technically chronic illness!), as these 20 years have been so traumatic. I've been wondering for a while now if having to deal with chronic illnesses can cause PTSD, or at the least, trauma, like you've described, and I agree, yes!
Hi Cassandra, complex PTSD is often caused by reoccurring/ long term trauma regardless of what they are. Some people will disagree with this especially when it comes to mental illness, because they are to ignorant, to realize that PTSD is not an illness that just affects soldiers.
Trauma really affects your central nervous system, which is why something so little can cause our bodies to go into flight or fight. Some days I can’t handle the colour red ( I still have not been able to make a link to an event) my brain/ body has or the smell of something causes me to disassociate.
I'm so glad I found you and yes I really relate to how you feel and I was diagnosed with ptsd and it's very difficult. I pray that you start to feel better emotionally and physically tfs your story. ❤
You absolutely spoke to me 14yr severe surgerys trauma.....showing up!!
Thank you for this video
Thank you so much for this video. I've been severely ill since I was a small child. I'm now 27 and I've come so far, but I'm still not well yet. I've fought for my health going to 30+ doctors over the course of the last 10 years and it's really taken a toll.
I've been struggling so much with intense daily fear. A heavy pit in my stomach. I kept trying to understand what I was so worried about, and I finally realized that I've been in so much pain that it's hard not to expect everything to be painful.
I've been working through my childhood traumas with a form of subconscious meditation/inner child healing, but I'm not sure how to heal this since there isn't one specific memory, it's more of 25 years of constant, excruciating pain.
This is the best video I've seen on the topic, it's definitely not talked about enough. But just listening to your story and feeling heard and validated, I could feel a healing from that. Bless you and your health 💕🙏
My heart goes out to you!
Have you tried Rosen therapy or Somatic Experiencing by Dr. Peter Levine? The latter can be practised on you own, too.
I've also found help form the Change Triangle model (dealing with how negative emotions can highjack the positive) but I'm not sure if that's applicable here.
My thoughts and prayers are with you,...
That you also find the strength and courage to keep fighting ❤
I had major surgery for a rare ovarian tumour in 2020, I like you have lived in that constant fear of complications and what if's ect. I only recently had to go back to the hospital i had my surgery in for some blood work and my god, talk about that cup being full and everything coming out. Everything and i mean everything about the place just set me off, the lay out, the smell, even the bloody carpark. I have known since I got diagnosed that something just has not been right with me but quite honestly just did not know who to turn to!? Unless you have been through something like this then your really just have no idea what it feels like and it is soo incredibly isolating. People just expect you to bounce back like you said, your alive, it could have been worse without considering for one minute that its just not that simple. This crap does not end!
Iv recently reached out to talk to someone about how this is effecting me and have been referred for intense CBT, I really want to thank you for putting this video out and talking about it x
I thought I was just going crazy! Everyone made me feel that way. I am so glad this is actually real!
Thank you so much for making this video and for talking about this💜 you worded everything so well and I was literally sitting here nodding my head up and down agreeing with what you were saying the entire time. You’re definitely not alone in this and thank you for opening the conversation 💜
So glad this resonated with you- thank you for the lovely comment xxx
Watching this again two year's later and I'm still so angry. Is it because we are women? I complained of lower abdomen pain for four years! I was given endless antidepressants...which just didn't compute. The pressure was so severe that I struggled to urinate. And one day my intestines ruptured and poisoned every square inch of my body. My organs shut down and I died only to be brought back with an ostomy bag and the worse pain I've ever experienced.
I will never be ok again...and had they done a simply CT scan they would have seen I had severe diverticulitis.
Four year's later and I get constant blockages...candida everywhere and can drink nothing but water and eat bland foods. When I beg for help they offer me antidepressants...because that will solve bleeding from my stoma.
So many people use the word “trauma” in a casual fashion (“And then my significant other told me I had a stain on my shirt and I was traumatized by everyone seeing it”) that it has lost a lot of its meaning. Claiming trauma can feel trendy and attention-seeking now. but you’re right about the drip-drip-drip of the damage chronic illness causes. It’s a bit like having a stalagmite build up over time until it stabs us through the heart.
Thank you for starting this conversation. I wish you some peace and healing.
I was watering my plants one day...remember screaming from the worst pain I've ever experienced and waking up two weeks later in the hospital. I was septic, my intestine ruptured and also acquired hospital pneumonia...and bam I have a bag, insane pain, and I'm told I'm blessed. But now I feel resentment that they saved my for this...hell on earth.
Not taking away from your experiences, just relating. I'm thinking of asking for anxiety medicine. Is that an option for you? I'm so sorry sweetheart girl. You don't deserve this. Any of it.
So sorry to hear your experience, how are you doing now? No shame in asking for some help, whether that is medication or not. I went on medication for about 6 weeks but couldn't put up with the side effects unfortunately :(.
Thank you for making this, for speaking up. I also deal with this, and medical PTSD. I've had 6 surgeries. 2 open heart surgeries, (first at 7 years old), both hips, gallbladder, and my Ileostomy surgery March 15. Failed all Crohn's meds and biologicals, and then I had several complications after surgery. I lived with my friend for 2 months post-surgery, away from my cats and my partner. I also have several other medical conditions that have made me go on disability, not able to be a Nurse anymore. Now that I'm back in my apt with my partner and cats, it's a little bit more of an internal struggle. Like you, the anxiety over any twinge of pain or weird physical pain, makes me panic inside. I was ignored when I spoke up and said I had an infection, and ended up in the ER and had to have my scar cut open at the bottom because yeah, I was right, there was a leftover infection. So I'm having my wound packed every second day now, and hoping it stays healing well. It's so overwhelming. I've been sick for so long, and have had extreme pain, both surgical and chronic, and it can be so validating to know that there are others who are going through the same thing. Looking forward to seeing your channel grow and it's so good (and not good at the same time) to see all these comments validating you and everyone else!
You are such a warrior, thank-you for sharing so openly, I am sure your comment will help many others xxxx sending you ao much love and healing
Thank you for bringing this up.
Unfortunately I can tell you that it's several magnitudes worse when it's a rare illness which doctors refuse to diagnose because they don't really understand it, and you end up being blamed for inventing the whole thing or making yourself sick either consciously or unconsciously. Then you get a further trauma specifically about the DOCTORS, and start to try avoiding them, and there's even more symptoms and you're even more alone because at some point you can't even talk to people around you because many of them won't believe you without that diagnosis either.
Sorry, that turned into a bit of a whine.
This. Thank you for sharing . 2 years of dealing with this
Am still scared from cancer never mind colitis it’s just something else to worry about it’s harder than what anybody says we’re not robots we’re human god bless all of us going through this we’re here for each other am suffering terribly hands up 🙌
Yes going through this now re to chronic health problem for 4 years. Toward to the end.
Thank you for your video. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have medical trauma PTSD but I'm lucky to have a good health since years now.
I really wish you all the physical and emotional healing you deserve, you said that you were not a superwoman but you are. Nobody should go through this kind of stuff, you're strong.
Lot of love and healing to you!
I absolutely understand after going through 15 years of UC, getting the ileostomy in Jan has been a life saver. I am able to travel and do things without worrying about where is the restroom. Thank you so much for sharing, you have been helpful to me and my journey as I finally am learning to enjoy my life now.
This is amazing to hear- I am so happy for you! x
i realize I am quite randomly asking but does anybody know of a good site to stream new series online ?
@Brayden Mustafa Flixportal :P
@Angelo Mohammad thanks, signed up and it seems like a nice service :D I really appreciate it !
@Brayden Mustafa No problem :D
Thank you for your insights! I'm on the beginning side of something analogous to what you are going through. I'm still dealing with the doctors not hearing what I'm saying and suggesting yet another treatment that doesn't seem to work. You've helped me realise that I need to strengthen my resolve to be heard! If I can get the doctors to listen to me now, maybe, if I'm lucky, I can avoid some hardships later on. May you continue to heal inside and out and may the rest of your recovery be free of incident, and, for lack of a better term, "boring."
Thank you for your comment and I really hope you have found some relief xxx
I completely understand this, been in this place and still go back to this place. I'm going through alot of new things right now thats scary and just want to know whats going on and the reason and prey its nothing bad. Also had pre-op assessment today and will be having a call with anaesthetist soon and also have to call the stoma nurses so that I can chat with them and get info of them before the surgery. Just want to know these new things are not going to put my surgery on hold as I'm so far past desperate for it.
I got to say I am a very spiritual person and yr energy that Comes off u is so light, caring, loving. U really have a beautiful energy and soul. Sending u lots of light and healing lovely. Also u are superwoman, don't forget kryptonite is superwoman and Superman's weakness so therefore you are still Superwoman lovely it's just this is your kryptonite.
Lovely seeing a video off u as I been thinking of u and wondering how u are doing ⭐🙌🏻🥰 xx
Your comment has made my day so thank you! I really hope you get your op very soon and can start your healing journey 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
@@gutmylifeback7926 awwww I'm glad my comment has made yr day, I ment every word lovely. Thank u so much hun, I'm so glad I found u on hear and now follow yr insta aswell. Its like u came up just at the right time for me. Deffo ment to be and I was ment to find u at that moment in my life xx 🙌🏻🥰⭐
@@alysonp5844 I’m so glad to hear this 😊❤️
Oh how I needed to hear your story! I so feel all of what you have said so eloquently. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing 💕 this is such a crazy thing. Its not talked about and I've really struggled since my diagnosis. Trying to stay positive to survive takes a toll.
Yes it can be so difficult- sending you all my love xxx
Yes, trauma that is constant. Trauma that there is no bouncing back from. You are not alone.
I feel you have said everything that I feel myself and I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, totally relate. These feelings thoughts fears anxiety feeling of no safety are enviable after all we've been through for me I use mindfulness to ground my anxious thoughts and affirming, I am safe even if I don't feel safe also I will say to myself everything is going to be alight. This seems to work sometimes it's rest or a nap I need to self soothe these emotions don't know if this makes sense. Your videos are awesome inspiring and informative thank you so much for sharing your journey and experiences love and hugs xx
Thank you for these tips I will definitely be testing these out
Grounding is SO helpful! I agree! I try to get out into nature, on grass or touching sand, trees, whatever helps and do this. I also have a mindfulness journal from Amazon that is AMAZING. I also agree on the naps or rest and getting away from social media for a bit, and then times like this, when seeing others who have gone through so much and can relate!
Trauma made me neurodivergent...ADHD which shows as anxiety and depression, light, noise/sound sensitive and frustrated irritability grumpiness that can't plan or transition do the next thing, like get dressed.
Often the cup doesn't flow over when it's full (the cup can always grow more) but when it stops getting fuller. So when there is a moment of rest, and you feel finally save enough to process those built up emotions.
Anesthesia also depletes vitamins and minerals, which can cause anxiety.
I hope you are feeling better and I wish you the best in your life
Me too i actually shake. I feel terrified.
I had a severe adverse reaction to the covid vaccine and experience a lot of medical trauma. I have daily flashbacks to doctors appointments ive had where the doctors wont listen to me or my positive test results. It is hell.
So much to get my head round that I may go through in the future, thank you for vids all you guys .... hugs
Not everyone struggles...so please don't think this will automatically happen to you. Just got to take things day by day
@@gutmylifeback7926 true but if it wasn’t for you guys on online I wouldn’t know half of what I know... thank you and bless, be strong😎
@@RogueJester1313 I feel the same, I have learnt so much from this community
@@gutmylifeback7926 believe me, I went into hospital ( long story ) and came out with a stoma.... was told the basics of bag change had to learn quickly... just by chance I saw you guys online ( my new angels ) 🙏and life has been much easier reading and learning... thank you guys and you are my Golden Generation as well as the NHS...❤️
@@RogueJester1313 bless you thank you!!! Xxxx
I totally get it. I’ve been going through this for several months m💪🏽🙏🏿❤️
It sucks big time!!! :(
100% on point !!!!
Thank you
Am having counciling after battling breast cancer with a mastectomy then a broken hip with osteoporosis arthritis and spondylitis now colitis it’s one thing after another my body cannot take any more it just can’t I cry am in a wheelchair it tolls on your body am tired all the time on morphine patches and strong pain meds it all gets to much the pain how to cope everyday 🤗😊💗🌺🌈🙏🇬🇧
I hear you 💖🌸🙏
@@EC-yd9yv thankyou
❤
Medical trauma shouldn’t be foreign to a good psychotherapist. Our trauma is psychologically no different than the trauma that front line workers experience everyday.… big and small traumas for the psychy. Most definitely I have medical PTSD. Like everyone else with chronic illness my situation isn’t any different than others. For me I’m very triggered by places, smells, sounds, e.g. drs office that treated me age 13 and again age 43 when I suddenly went blind (that’s a bit better right now, but vision has only months left ) or driving past spots on the road where I’ve been layed out on the side of the road violently ill (you do not want details) then having seizures, or going past a rest stop where I’m too compromised to see myself to the restroom and have to be carried (now I use a wheelchair), or passing a doctors office that underserved me and gaslighted me 5 years only making me loose valuable time and permanent loss of all body functions. The examples go on and on like others. What is not mentioned herein are the traumas our care givers, loved ones experience. My poor sweet amazing husband I don’t know his experiences because I’m usually unconscious. However, I can tell he & my now adult children totally have PTSD.😢😢
On a good note I can tell you from experience what has worked the best to manage any type of trauma is doing somatic based therapy, e.g. TRM, C-TRM, tapping, EFT, yoga, meditation, progressive relaxation Ti Chi, Qui Gong, etc. Somatic therapy helps our body break the anx loop cycle and reconnects our brain & body. (P.S. I am a medically retired psychotherapist).
Peace my fellow warriors. We got this!! Fight on friends.
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Hi from California!!!!