When you sell it, have the person take some picture of you in the driver's seat, in the back, etc. if you have a nice portrait of your dad, hold that and take a picture of 'both of you" in a picture. I knew someone who did something similar, and she treasures the picture.
I think the realization that it’s not your mom’s stuff anymore, it’s yours, is super important. Do with it all what YOU want and need! It served its purpose for her and gave her comfort, if donating it all give you comfort, it’s yours to do with what you please ❤
Oh girl, I’m always so glad when you check in with us. You are in my heart. What a sweet blessing that you can see little ways that your mom is with you. I believe 100% that our loved ones can stay and watch over us. You are doing amazing, especially considering you’re going through this grieving process alone. I’m so glad you decided to share it with us. Hugs to you!❤️
You are doing an amazing job! All the clutter look overwhelming, I can't even imagine how you must feel. Take a deep breath, cry when you need. Take it slow! Sending love❤
It breaks my heart that you are tackling all of this work by yourself. When you are done, you are going to feel like you can cunquer the world. I wish you the very best.❤
When my husbands parents both died a few months from each other he was left with a hoarder house. He was living with his parents when all this happened. I was dating him at the time and I took one whole summer, on the weekends, to completely go through every large garbage bag. Thank God I did. I found my husbands baby, school pictures. Brand new items with the tags still on, some vintage items, and money, EVERYWHERES. The items I though would fetch a good price didnt. Much if the tagged items I kept because my husband and I were planning to get married and remain in the house. Certain items will sell to certain people. But not every item. I did donate a good portion and threw out a lot more. Your doing the best you can. Give your self credit. And Thank You for feeding the kitty.
I think it’s great that someone wants to buy the van and fix it up. They’re more likely to love and appreciate it like you and your dad did. My Dad sold his sailboat after 30 years of it sitting in the yard - it was a before kids hobby. The guy he sold it to fixed it up and took it out on the water and sent my Dad some pictures. It was great seeing it in good condition and being used again (I didn’t even know what color the sails were!) I hope you got that quilting lady’s phone number. She, and maybe some friends, might want to come back when you try to sell the fabric and such.
That's great about your dad's sailboat getting a new life! Yes, I did get the quilting lady's phone number. She was excited about the fabrics and supplies that will be available for sale.
You’re doing amazing, it really is a journey and yes, that wisdom, we just get to re-adjust and plod along at times. Love the heart you have for letting someone love your Dad’s van and give it a resto. I think he’d be pleased it was going to be taken care of.
You are talking to something within us all who have lost parents. It is a very special experience for each and everyone but at the same time it has this common thread we recognize. I think you got a little special added on with a hoard to go through and to be alone in this process. I am sure that others that follow your journey are like me; we really sympathize with you and are glad to see you do a bit better every time. And it means that you are really not alone, not with all of us caring about how you are doing ❤
I think that cleaning out the house has been very cathartic for you. You are doing great. Cleaning out your Dad's bc an was cathartic for you to, too. You are doing great!!
Hey there! It looks beautiful where you live. I was in tears when you were talking about loosing both parents. I get depressed and get anxiety when I think about when my mom passes as she will be 95 . Your right it is a big adjustment when they are both gone and my heart is with you. That’s what scares me. I live alone and will be alone too. I’ve been looking after mom for years and I know it will be so hard. Your talked really helped. You are such a kind person and you are doing so good with everything. Much love to you!
Good to see a new video from you. Some good things happened this visit. The magazines went to someone who appreciated them and your dad’s van can go to a good home too. It looks like you got a lot done this trip even though it was short. Sending warm, healing, thoughts your way.
Loss is hard no matter what. Allow yourself all the time you need. When my mom passed i saved the last voice message that she sent me. Somewhere around the 5 year mark i was able to let it go.😢
You are doing really well. This is new to you, all of this. Give yourself some credit. This is hard stuff. You are pushing through, though. I am behind you 100%!!
That was a really great video. It is helpful to hear someone else say the same things that we all go through but usually silently. I’m glad that you actually went to a support group that is great. And it is a strange feeling whoever the people are in your life, when you lose your support system like that just that automatic unconditional love person. And although I am sure your kitty misses you, I am sure she is much happier being at home then going through the stress of traveling and being at your mom’s place. XoXo
This is eye opening for me. Literally, when you pass, you take nothing with you and your kids and family has to deal with your belongings. You are so brave to take this on by yourself but you have us to cheer you on. ❤
I'm so glad you are sharing your journey with us. My mum is my rock in life, the person I will always call when I need advice. I really don't know what I'll do when that fateful day comes. I'm an only child too so will be going through it alone (my long term partner has dementia so will not be able to help, if he is still with us at that time). And I'm really not great with making decisions. I went to a counsellor the other day and she told me I needed to step up and be a leader now as I've always been the supporting one, it's just my nature and what I feel comfortable with. That quote from your mother was beautiful, and very timely. Thinking of you ... and love seeing Mr Cat 💛x
So happy to see a new video 😊 hope you’re doing well. I bet someone will want that van. I understand the tears. I did the same thing when we sold my Dad’s pickup truck.
So glad to see a new blog entry by you! You’ve accomplished a LOT! And you’re making more and more progress with each trip, doing an amazing job getting more space available in the house - which helps you sort and make decisions. Losing a parent can be agonizing, and it takes time to process the loss and to “accommodate” the pain. You will always have moments that bring poignant memories to mind, and tears will come. As time passes, those memories will bring more happiness of connection to your parents and won’t be so gut-wrenching. I echo so many who’ve joined your journey on this blog - our loved ones are always in our hearts and often seem to convey the piece of advice one needs at a particular moment. Or, in the case of your Dad’s van, a serendipitous encounter with a neighbor who’s interested in buying the van will lift your spirits and help you recognize that it’s not only a good idea to dispose of the van (because you don’t anticipate using it), but that perhaps your Dad is sending his blessing on your decision and urging you forward. The immediate interest in the quilting magazines you put out for free shows you that local quilters respect what your mother collected and will continue to make use of those resources - so your Mom’s interest in quilting is carried forward by others. You are accomplishing your goal to pass on some of your Mom’s “legacy” to people who will respect it and be happy to keep it going. We’re all rooting for you! You’re making tremendous progress on all fronts; thank you for sharing your journey with us. Wishing you the very best - please take your time to process: it’s a lot that you’re going through emotionally! So glad that the anonymous kitty was there to greet you on your arrival and to stay close for company and “support”!! ❤❤
I can totally understand how you feel about your dad's van and your mum's phone number. My mum passing will be 6 years this may and I still have her number in my phone. It's nice that someone wants to buy the van as a project and will be restored and loved as your family has. You're doing great 👍
I have thought about how hard it will be to eventually cancel my parents house phone. It’s going to be rough. I’m glad you have found a support group and are starting to feel more comfortable in the house. I also appreciated the effort you took to include a time lapse of cleaning out the van. Thanks for sharing
IRL. MARY You are such a trooper doing all this on your own. Can see why cat always meets u. U are so gentle kind 💖. Cant say enough good about. I pray for day when all will be sorted out and u will have good memories. Luv. in abundance ❤❤
You sound so much better! You were definitely in shock the first few videos. I’m so glad you found a support group, losing the second parent is devastating, no matter how old you are when it happens. When my mom passed my sister told my dad he couldn’t die because then we’d be orphans! Mind, she was married with 2 kids by then. You aren’t alone, not at all ❤
There is no right way to deal with the house, you’re doing fine. Some people would’ve had an estate sale and then sold the house without ever coming back to see the place and without processing any feelings, some would “mean” to deal with it but never get around to doing it and let the house slowly crumble. Some would rent it out and leave it to the tenants to work around the stuff while promising to clear it out but never doing it. I think your way will do the most to help you heal and you’re being a good neighbor while you’re at it.
Yes, I have a friend who can check on my cat. She was fine though. I was only gone for about 24 hours. I do have some great photos of my dad with his van that I cherish, and surprisingly I found the original receipt when he purchased it.
I am lucky. I still have both my parents. Dad is 90 and my mom is 84. I know they won’t be around for long. I also have a lot of stuff but not like your mom. I am starting to declutter stuff so that my kids won’t have to do it. I felt like I should keep all my craft stuff but after seeing your mom’s stuff (especially the shed) I am going to get rid of it. Don’t want my kids to go through what you are. Sending you hugs. Thanks for sharing.
I relate to so much that you are going through. I lose my parents and had to clean out their house a few years ago. Everyone’s grieving journey is different. It feels that you turned a corner about seeing their stuff as your stuff. It still hurts to get rid of things that meant so much to them. But like you mentioned, what really helped me was knowing that I was giving their stuff to people who would love it and use it. As for fiestaware, I got more traction on Facebook marketplace as you tend to get more local people. eBay has a setting instead of delivery, mark it as local pickup. Make sure to meet in a busy parking lot like a supermarket for safety reasons. Hang in there. You will prevail! 😊
At. Least someone will restore your dads van he would be happy about that. It would have been harder to sell it for parts. You are doing such a good job be gentility with your self you deserve it. ❤
Always like seeing a video from you. I have a hard time decluttering. Would like to see more of you going through the items and deciding what to do with them. I am amazed at how organized your moms things seem to be - so many labeled containers and stacked up in a neat pile.
It is a really weird feeling knowing our parents are gone. I still have my mom’s Facebook up and have both she and my middle brother in my contacts list. I’m the last surviving sibling. Had an older brother that died in 2010. You’re doing a great job going through the house. I wonder how many quilters would love that fabric. Imagine all the room you’re going to have once that gets sold! I feel some guilt because I didn’t do things exactly as my mom would’ve liked. Trouble is that her directions on how she wanted the funeral, stone carving, etc., were in different places! I only just now found notes saying don’t show photographs at viewing. Oops! I thought it was nice as I got to see her and sort of know what she was like growing up. And she only wanted her first name on the stone with my dad. But he had his middle initial on his side, so I did her middle initial as well because it balanced. Anyway, I have to realize that I’ve done the best I could given the circumstances. Now, the big thing is getting her taxes done. Thankfully, I can mail everything to her accountants in Ohio. I just hope I have all of the information they need. I understand about being sad about the van. I’m glad you got to tell your dad how much you miss him. I’m sure he misses you, too! I brought home a few coffee tables, a bookcase that my dad built which had a cute cigarette burn scorched in it that we had when I was a child. There were other items that I would’ve taken, but ultimately knew I didn’t have room for it all in our house. They’re just things. I came to the same conclusion that you did. I think you have a new cat!😊 Seems he’s always watching for you! Looking forward to seeing every update. You’re doing a wonderful job. And I’m glad you’re feeling some peace now. ♥️
Thank you! I think once the fabric is gone that will free up about half of the space in the house. 🤣 Please don't feel guilty about not following your mom's instructions exactly. I believe once they pass into the afterlife they realize how futile their things are and it doesn't really matter what happens to them or how their name appears on their headstone. They have nothing but unconditional love and support for us still here on earth. They understand we are doing the best we can, but we are only human and make mistakes. I'm sure they realize the mistakes they made while here on earth themselves and choose to let things go that otherwise they would make a fuss about. I am thankful for Mr. Cat who comes to visit me, he seems to light up the house and makes my day brighter. Thank you for the kind words and support. ❤️
Been there, done this. If you plan on selling anything, like a yard sale...only keep things that you can get at least $3.00 for. Less than that might not be worth the labor on your body. Experience talking. Also, taking photos of items they loved but you need to part with. Later, make a book of the pictures which will preserve the memories and not take up much space. Hope that's helpful.
My father in law passed away in December of 2020 and his cell is still in my phone. He was one of my favorite people and i like to go back and read the texts he sent me over the years. We miss him terribly. My mother in law, after he passed, got rid of her land line, a phone number she had for 40 years. We all greived that too, it was a number i have called since i was 17 years old. She says she regrets it all the time now. I think you're doing a good job dealing with everything. Thanks for sharing your journey with us ❤
Very emotional one today. Lost my uncle today so your words hitting me harder today. Those words from your mother can be scanned to be preserved. Take care.
Maybe all the things you decide to sell could be stacked around the garage on some shelves so that people could come in, look around, and buy. I.e. books could be 3 for $5.00 or whatever you come up with. Sewing items could also be sold like that. As things are sold, you could empty the house and add to things for sale. A little money is better than none. Eventually if things don’t sell in a reasonable amount of time they could always be listed as free.
I lost my dad when I was 31 and my mom when I was 36. I’m 66 now, and I still miss them every day. I felt disconnected for a long time. I still have both of them in my contacts with my childhood address and phone number. I’m a retired professional organizer. I suggest you wear a mask and gloves, especially working on the older layers in the garage and shed. Things can have heavy dust, mold and mouse droppings which you do not want to inhale. It could be causing your sore throat and congestion.
You are doing great and I can’t imagine how hard it is to go through all of your parents’ things by yourself. I go to a lot of estate sales in the Dallas/Fort Worth area; I am an ephemera collector (1800s-about 1970) and have had an Etsy shop. One thing you might consider that I hear many companies say is not to toss anything because people will buy anything. I know percentages might seem high for a company to come in, but you would probably net much more if you hand it over, (and I have done the same and did well). For instance, I purchase old wrapping paper, note pads, greeting cards, books falling apart, tickets, school papers, business letterhead and papers… Just wanted to share to see if it might help with the stress of working alone. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you much peace.
So proud of your outlook and progress in the house 🏠 your parents would be proud❤ as homeowner, I'd get a plumber to come over next time you come- leaks add up to higher water bills. Ask your neighbor (s) to recommend a good one in town ( post the number on your fridge-good # to have just on case). Change brings about new beginnings 😊 without change, you can't go forward. You are a sweet human being - thank you for your words of encouragement towards others 😊❤
Sorry you have to go through this basically alone, similar to my situation almost 4 years ago. Lost mom in April and dad in September of 2020, mom was 91 and dad 88. I had some help but in the end it wasn’t really helping me how I needed it, just people grabbing for money and wanting me to grieve on their schedule. Take every single second you need to deal with this in your way to avoid all the regrets that I have now. If you aren’t sure of something just sleep on it so you don’t kick yourself later on. Seek help, even just someone to talk to and have a meal with as that can make your hard decisions a little easier.
Yes, it is so hard having both parents gone. My parents are gone. You are on that emotional roller-coaster ride we all experienced after the shock of loss and keeping in control when planning the funeral...then all the legal paperwork and the cleanup of personal items. You are doing great by taking small steps in the home clean out and experiencing the emotional up and downs. Your family old van would have been great if it would run and you could haul items to be donated. Hugs and love !
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss losing a parent is hard we went through the process of emptying my mum and aunts houses at the same time we lost them within six weeks of each other. So I have a little tip trying just concentrating on one room at a time say like do the kitchen first, then move onto the laundry, then do the master bathroom then bedroom which will make it more peaceful for you to stay then move on to another room leave the garage and shed for last
My sons local school sent home a request the other day for unwanted fabrics, magazines etc (things for crafting). It made me think of you. Hopefully you can sell all but if it becomes too overwhelming try the local schools and aged care homes.
What I see? Your sorting muscles have gotten very strong! Who needs the gym! (joking) Blessings on you as you walk thru this hard season. Bonus! Once the truck is running you can ferry stuff to goodwill. Unexpired food can go to local foodbanks too. One other thought-when I was cleaning out my Mother in Laws house I found she had slipped money in books-like hundreds of dollars. FYI.
Check Kelly blue book for the value of the van….don’t sell to the first interested party… maybe keep a small part from the van (a knob or something…). good luck
That van is worth more than just parts. They are hot right now. VanLiving is big and it’s cool. Somebody would love that project! We have a friend of the library thst has a store and takes books, magazines, dvd etc they sell and goes to library. Maybe you have something like that
You’re doing a lot better. Im glad you are sharing this. You’re getting a lot done. What have you sone with the fabric or do you know yet? Fabric wells well. Some of it, if you can get a quilting person, is worth a good bit. Certain designers etc, it’s not in print anymore. Thanks for the video.
Do you not have any Aunts, Uncles, or Cousins?? Keep working towards the goal of making the place a home for you, that is the best way to go about it. It's good that you are saying this is now mine and I don't need or won't use this stuff, makes it easier to decide what to do with it all. You should ask around thru the city Senior services and see if there are any quilting groups that you could donate all the fabric and supplies to, that would be a wonderful thing for them to have if there is one around.
Hello. I am hoping that the vulnerability you share in your videos is cathartic and helpful to you in your grieving and healing process. ❤ I am also wondering if you’ve found any completed quilts, or quilt tops, that your mom made. I think most creative people would like to be remembered by the things they made and would want them to go out into the world as a part of themselves. Additionally, if you find quilts that you don’t cherish, you might be able to make some decent money from selling them. Sending you lots of positive energy on your journey. ✨✨✨
I do not have very many people in real life that I can share my feelings and emotions with during this difficult time, so sharing them on TH-cam is actually helping me a lot. I do appreciate all the feedback and support I get. My mom never actually made a quilt. 😢 She just kept buying fabric and supplies. I guess the shopping part was more exciting for her than actually making one, which surprises me because she had sewn and crafted a ton of other projects all through her adult life. After my dad passed she did make a comment that she doesn't sew anymore because she doesn't have anyone to show it to when she finished. Which made me really sad, but explains why she stopped sewing and crafting, and instead kept buying things.
I'm no expert. I know you've been given advice. But from watching all of your videos I noticed pattern or patterns. This is how I would go about selling or giving stuff away. First of all like how you got rid of the quilting magazines think of selling like items in lots because if you sell one item at a time it's going to take a very long time. And seeing lots go will help you see bigger progress. Also I would make a list of big items and when someone says is that for sell I would list that or sell that first because you have potential buyers. And if you could some how see who might be interested in these things then that would give you indication of which platform or which audience to sell to. Also I would make another list and jot down items you might need until the house is sold like basic necessities and then that gives you an indication of what to get rid until the sell of the house or until you have reached your goal even if you've not sold the house. Hope this helps. You've really helped me think about things since I might have to move myself. I lost both parents and I've been a hospice nurse. I know about stages of grieving. Also I'm now disabled. I'm here for you. I can see things in your eyes. It makes me then worry about me and my things and having my children to worry about stuff and I don't want that. A major change is coming to me. Thank you.❤🙏😇
Floored by the shed! 😳 🎃🎄☃️🎃🦌🎁🎄🎅🎃☃️🎄 ...more fabric 😂 Great idea to take shorter trips, and getting an auction house to deal with the sale of some of the items. You are doing an amazing job!
My mom moved into my grandma's house that was falling apart after she left us. And the only reason why she did it is because my grandma wanted. My mom's house is just fine, nothing wrong with it at all. My grandma's house, the roof is caved in and it leaks. There is a ton of mold in the walls and the electricity is awful. My grandparents had that same phone number for decades and my mom was having a hard time letting that phone number. Eventually I did talk her into changing it. That phone number doesn't matter and the rest of it is just material things that they can't take with them and we can't use. None of it really. I know there is a lot of history in these material things that belonged to them, but we still have our memories and that's all we need. I'm not the sentimental one that's going to keep a bunch of junk around just because it belonged to someone I cared about. What I really want is to have my grandma back and I can't so I don't want her stuff around because looking at it will only hurt more. And like I said I'm not going to use any of it anyway so all it is doing is collecting dust and getting in my way if I were to keep things. I'm sure now that our loved ones are gone they see how little all of those things matter and how much it stresses us. They don't want us going through all of that. It is wrong for them to leave a whole lot of things for us to do you have to deal with but people don't think about that because they don't want to die and they don't know when it will happen. I'm sure if it's someone that has cancer or something, they know that it is going to happen soon so they are going to get rid of their things so we don't have to
@chickabiddies Maybe put a new motor in it ,fix it up or put it in your back yard and plant flowers around it and use it for a shed? Just for memory sake. I think I'm way too sentimental but can't you use it for something.?
It's not running, plus it's very hard to drive. It needs a full restoration which I don't want to put the money into it. There is a pick up truck here that I do plan on keeping.
You can request that disconnected landline phone number be your cell phone number if you want to change your cell phone number and keep the number that has memories for you.
@@chickabiddies sorry you are alone with all this, I suppose there is no hurry to get it all done so work when you can, I’d help if I lived near you but I think I’m way away from where you are, lol like across the country🙁
From someone who has just about every machine Cricut ever made, unfortunately your mom's isn't worth hardly anything. You need cartridges for that machine and most people don't use them anymore because the cartridges were just too expensive to collect. I'm sure you can get something for it, but I don't think you'll be making a car payment with it 😉- maybe 25 bucks?
I did the exact same thing, and my father‘s number is still in my phone too (he passed almost 8 years ago). Even though he almost never used his cell phone, I won’t delete his number.
When you sell it, have the person take some picture of you in the driver's seat, in the back, etc. if you have a nice portrait of your dad, hold that and take a picture of 'both of you" in a picture. I knew someone who did something similar, and she treasures the picture.
What a lovely idea, thank you!
I agree here.
I think the realization that it’s not your mom’s stuff anymore, it’s yours, is super important. Do with it all what YOU want and need! It served its purpose for her and gave her comfort, if donating it all give you comfort, it’s yours to do with what you please ❤
Oh girl, I’m always so glad when you check in with us. You are in my heart. What a sweet blessing that you can see little ways that your mom is with you. I believe 100% that our loved ones can stay and watch over us. You are doing amazing, especially considering you’re going through this grieving process alone. I’m so glad you decided to share it with us. Hugs to you!❤️
You are doing an amazing job! All the clutter look overwhelming, I can't even imagine how you must feel. Take a deep breath, cry when you need. Take it slow! Sending love❤
... The notes that pop up randomly, it really IS like your Mom is still helping you out 🥰😭💖💖💖
It breaks my heart that you are tackling all of this work by yourself. When you are done, you are going to feel like you can cunquer the world. I wish you the very best.❤
When my husbands parents both died a few months from each other he was left with a hoarder house. He was living with his parents when all this happened. I was dating him at the time and I took one whole summer, on the weekends, to completely go through every large garbage bag. Thank God I did. I found my husbands baby, school pictures. Brand new items with the tags still on, some vintage items, and money, EVERYWHERES. The items I though would fetch a good price didnt. Much if the tagged items I kept because my husband and I were planning to get married and remain in the house. Certain items will sell to certain people. But not every item. I did donate a good portion and threw out a lot more. Your doing the best you can. Give your self credit. And Thank You for feeding the kitty.
I think it’s great that someone wants to buy the van and fix it up. They’re more likely to love and appreciate it like you and your dad did. My Dad sold his sailboat after 30 years of it sitting in the yard - it was a before kids hobby. The guy he sold it to fixed it up and took it out on the water and sent my Dad some pictures. It was great seeing it in good condition and being used again (I didn’t even know what color the sails were!)
I hope you got that quilting lady’s phone number. She, and maybe some friends, might want to come back when you try to sell the fabric and such.
That's great about your dad's sailboat getting a new life! Yes, I did get the quilting lady's phone number. She was excited about the fabrics and supplies that will be available for sale.
You’re doing amazing, it really is a journey and yes, that wisdom, we just get to re-adjust and plod along at times.
Love the heart you have for letting someone love your Dad’s van and give it a resto.
I think he’d be pleased it was going to be taken care of.
You are talking to something within us all who have lost parents. It is a very special experience for each and everyone but at the same time it has this common thread we recognize. I think you got a little special added on with a hoard to go through and to be alone in this process. I am sure that others that follow your journey are like me; we really sympathize with you and are glad to see you do a bit better every time. And it means that you are really not alone, not with all of us caring about how you are doing ❤
Thank you! It means so much to me.
I think that cleaning out the house has been very cathartic for you. You are doing great. Cleaning out your Dad's bc an was cathartic for you to, too. You are doing great!!
Hey there! It looks beautiful where you live. I was in tears when you were talking about loosing both parents. I get depressed and get anxiety when I think about when my mom passes as she will be 95 . Your right it is a big adjustment when they are both gone and my heart is with you. That’s what scares me. I live alone and will be alone too. I’ve been looking after mom for years and I know it will be so hard. Your talked really helped. You are such a kind person and you are doing so good with everything. Much love to you!
Thank you! It is a tough adjustment but all we can do is just take one day at a time. Enjoy every moment with your mom while she is here.
Good to see a new video from you. Some good things happened this visit. The magazines went to someone who appreciated them and your dad’s van can go to a good home too. It looks like you got a lot done this trip even though it was short. Sending warm, healing, thoughts your way.
Wow! The shed😳😃
It's okay ti cry I miss my dad everyday
Loss is hard no matter what. Allow yourself all the time you need. When my mom passed i saved the last voice message that she sent me. Somewhere around the 5 year mark i was able to let it go.😢
I still have some of my mom's last emails to me in my inbox. I don't think I'll ever be able to delete them.
😢
You are doing really well. This is new to you, all of this. Give yourself some credit. This is hard stuff. You are pushing through, though. I am behind you 100%!!
I love the idea about taking a picture of you with the van while holding a photo of your dad. ❤️
That was a really great video. It is helpful to hear someone else say the same things that we all go through but usually silently. I’m glad that you actually went to a support group that is great. And it is a strange feeling whoever the people are in your life, when you lose your support system like that just that automatic unconditional love person. And although I am sure your kitty misses you, I am sure she is much happier being at home then going through the stress of traveling and being at your mom’s place. XoXo
Yes my cat was much happier staying at home and sleeping in her cat bed.
This is eye opening for me. Literally, when you pass, you take nothing with you and your kids and family has to deal with your belongings. You are so brave to take this on by yourself but you have us to cheer you on. ❤
I'm so glad you are sharing your journey with us. My mum is my rock in life, the person I will always call when I need advice. I really don't know what I'll do when that fateful day comes. I'm an only child too so will be going through it alone (my long term partner has dementia so will not be able to help, if he is still with us at that time). And I'm really not great with making decisions. I went to a counsellor the other day and she told me I needed to step up and be a leader now as I've always been the supporting one, it's just my nature and what I feel comfortable with. That quote from your mother was beautiful, and very timely. Thinking of you ... and love seeing Mr Cat 💛x
The memories will always be with you even when the van goes to the next owner.
So happy to see a new video 😊 hope you’re doing well. I bet someone will want that van. I understand the tears. I did the same thing when we sold my Dad’s pickup truck.
So glad to see a new blog entry by you! You’ve accomplished a LOT! And you’re making more and more progress with each trip, doing an amazing job getting more space available in the house - which helps you sort and make decisions. Losing a parent can be agonizing, and it takes time to process the loss and to “accommodate” the pain. You will always have moments that bring poignant memories to mind, and tears will come. As time passes, those memories will bring more happiness of connection to your parents and won’t be so gut-wrenching. I echo so many who’ve joined your journey on this blog - our loved ones are always in our hearts and often seem to convey the piece of advice one needs at a particular moment. Or, in the case of your Dad’s van, a serendipitous encounter with a neighbor who’s interested in buying the van will lift your spirits and help you recognize that it’s not only a good idea to dispose of the van (because you don’t anticipate using it), but that perhaps your Dad is sending his blessing on your decision and urging you forward. The immediate interest in the quilting magazines you put out for free shows you that local quilters respect what your mother collected and will continue to make use of those resources - so your Mom’s interest in quilting is carried forward by others. You are accomplishing your goal to pass on some of your Mom’s “legacy” to people who will respect it and be happy to keep it going. We’re all rooting for you! You’re making tremendous progress on all fronts; thank you for sharing your journey with us. Wishing you the very best - please take your time to process: it’s a lot that you’re going through emotionally! So glad that the anonymous kitty was there to greet you on your arrival and to stay close for company and “support”!! ❤❤
I can totally understand how you feel about your dad's van and your mum's phone number. My mum passing will be 6 years this may and I still have her number in my phone. It's nice that someone wants to buy the van as a project and will be restored and loved as your family has. You're doing great 👍
Therapy is really helpful in situations like yours
I have thought about how hard it will be to eventually cancel my parents house phone. It’s going to be rough. I’m glad you have found a support group and are starting to feel more comfortable in the house.
I also appreciated the effort you took to include a time lapse of cleaning out the van.
Thanks for sharing
IRL. MARY You are such a trooper doing all this on your own. Can see why cat always meets u. U are so gentle kind 💖. Cant say enough good about. I pray for day when all will be sorted out and u will have good memories. Luv. in abundance ❤❤
13:38
Love your thought process and how you express it!
You sound so much better! You were definitely in shock the first few videos. I’m so glad you found a support group, losing the second parent is devastating, no matter how old you are when it happens. When my mom passed my sister told my dad he couldn’t die because then we’d be orphans! Mind, she was married with 2 kids by then. You aren’t alone, not at all ❤
I think you are amazing. Thank you for starting those difficult conversations at such a painful time in your life. Much love, Cxo
Good job, you got so much accomplished!
It makes it hard when you’re an only child. ❤
Also when you are the sibling that has do do everything and the others won't help.
So good to watch - teaches me not to whine and wallow.
There is no right way to deal with the house, you’re doing fine. Some people would’ve had an estate sale and then sold the house without ever coming back to see the place and without processing any feelings, some would “mean” to deal with it but never get around to doing it and let the house slowly crumble. Some would rent it out and leave it to the tenants to work around the stuff while promising to clear it out but never doing it. I think your way will do the most to help you heal and you’re being a good neighbor while you’re at it.
Do you have anyone who can check on your cat?
Take a great photo of the van and have it framed in your home.
Yes, I have a friend who can check on my cat. She was fine though. I was only gone for about 24 hours. I do have some great photos of my dad with his van that I cherish, and surprisingly I found the original receipt when he purchased it.
So nice your mom is sending messages. Keep on keeping on. That silver wall hanging is so beautiful. ( in the dining area ). You have to be strong.
I am lucky. I still have both my parents. Dad is 90 and my mom is 84. I know they won’t be around for long. I also have a lot of stuff but not like your mom. I am starting to declutter stuff so that my kids won’t have to do it. I felt like I should keep all my craft stuff but after seeing your mom’s stuff (especially the shed) I am going to get rid of it. Don’t want my kids to go through what you are. Sending you hugs. Thanks for sharing.
I think food banks or churches in the area could put those canned goods to good use, and you’d get some space back.
I still have my dad in my contacts and he passed in 2006
I relate to so much that you are going through. I lose my parents and had to clean out their house a few years ago. Everyone’s grieving journey is different. It feels that you turned a corner about seeing their stuff as your stuff. It still hurts to get rid of things that meant so much to them. But like you mentioned, what really helped me was knowing that I was giving their stuff to people who would love it and use it. As for fiestaware, I got more traction on Facebook marketplace as you tend to get more local people. eBay has a setting instead of delivery, mark it as local pickup. Make sure to meet in a busy parking lot like a supermarket for safety reasons. Hang in there. You will prevail! 😊
❤ Don't be hard on yourself. You are doing great. It will get better. Keep your chin up. ☮💜 from Wisconsin
Glad you’re back. Looks like you have 2 cats now. 💞
Sending you all my love and hugs 😘😘😘
I understand these emotions so well. My Dad passed in November and it has been a terrible struggle.💔
I am so sorry, it is a tough struggle for sure.
At. Least someone will restore your dads van he would be happy about that. It would have been harder to sell it for parts. You are doing such a good job be gentility with your self you deserve it. ❤
Always like seeing a video from you. I have a hard time decluttering. Would like to see more of you going through the items and deciding what to do with them. I am amazed at how organized your moms things seem to be - so many labeled containers and stacked up in a neat pile.
It is a really weird feeling knowing our parents are gone. I still have my mom’s Facebook up and have both she and my middle brother in my contacts list. I’m the last surviving sibling. Had an older brother that died in 2010.
You’re doing a great job going through the house. I wonder how many quilters would love that fabric. Imagine all the room you’re going to have once that gets sold!
I feel some guilt because I didn’t do things exactly as my mom would’ve liked. Trouble is that her directions on how she wanted the funeral, stone carving, etc., were in different places! I only just now found notes saying don’t show photographs at viewing. Oops! I thought it was nice as I got to see her and sort of know what she was like growing up. And she only wanted her first name on the stone with my dad. But he had his middle initial on his side, so I did her middle initial as well because it balanced. Anyway, I have to realize that I’ve done the best I could given the circumstances. Now, the big thing is getting her taxes done. Thankfully, I can mail everything to her accountants in Ohio. I just hope I have all of the information they need.
I understand about being sad about the van. I’m glad you got to tell your dad how much you miss him. I’m sure he misses you, too! I brought home a few coffee tables, a bookcase that my dad built which had a cute cigarette burn scorched in it that we had when I was a child. There were other items that I would’ve taken, but ultimately knew I didn’t have room for it all in our house. They’re just things. I came to the same conclusion that you did.
I think you have a new cat!😊 Seems he’s always watching for you!
Looking forward to seeing every update. You’re doing a wonderful job. And I’m glad you’re feeling some peace now. ♥️
Thank you! I think once the fabric is gone that will free up about half of the space in the house. 🤣
Please don't feel guilty about not following your mom's instructions exactly. I believe once they pass into the afterlife they realize how futile their things are and it doesn't really matter what happens to them or how their name appears on their headstone. They have nothing but unconditional love and support for us still here on earth. They understand we are doing the best we can, but we are only human and make mistakes. I'm sure they realize the mistakes they made while here on earth themselves and choose to let things go that otherwise they would make a fuss about.
I am thankful for Mr. Cat who comes to visit me, he seems to light up the house and makes my day brighter.
Thank you for the kind words and support. ❤️
Crying with you.
Aw, I just want to give you a big hug🥺
Been there, done this. If you plan on selling anything, like a yard sale...only keep things that you can get at least $3.00 for. Less than that might not be worth the labor on your body. Experience talking. Also, taking photos of items they loved but you need to part with. Later, make a book of the pictures which will preserve the memories and not take up much space. Hope that's helpful.
Very good tips, thank you! I know after moving all those books out of the van I was spent for the day. My body is definitely not what it used to be.
My father in law passed away in December of 2020 and his cell is still in my phone. He was one of my favorite people and i like to go back and read the texts he sent me over the years. We miss him terribly. My mother in law, after he passed, got rid of her land line, a phone number she had for 40 years. We all greived that too, it was a number i have called since i was 17 years old. She says she regrets it all the time now.
I think you're doing a good job dealing with everything. Thanks for sharing your journey with us ❤
Very emotional one today. Lost my uncle today so your words hitting me harder today.
Those words from your mother can be scanned to be preserved.
Take care.
Maybe all the things you decide to sell could be stacked around the garage on some shelves so that people could come in, look around, and buy. I.e. books could be 3 for $5.00 or whatever you come up with. Sewing items could also be sold like that. As things are sold, you could empty the house and add to things for sale. A little money is better than none. Eventually if things don’t sell in a reasonable amount of time they could always be listed as free.
Totally get it about the phone number and phone contacts. Wonderful about the support group.
I know it’s really hard, and you are doing a great job. I no longer have my parents either and it is hard getting rid of their things.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I lost my dad when I was 31 and my mom when I was 36. I’m 66 now, and I still miss them every day. I felt disconnected for a long time. I still have both of them in my contacts with my childhood address and phone number.
I’m a retired professional organizer. I suggest you wear a mask and gloves, especially working on the older layers in the garage and shed. Things can have heavy dust, mold and mouse droppings which you do not want to inhale. It could be causing your sore throat and congestion.
You are doing great and I can’t imagine how hard it is to go through all of your parents’ things by yourself. I go to a lot of estate sales in the Dallas/Fort Worth area; I am an ephemera collector (1800s-about 1970) and have had an Etsy shop. One thing you might consider that I hear many companies say is not to toss anything because people will buy anything. I know percentages might seem high for a company to come in, but you would probably net much more if you hand it over, (and I have done the same and did well). For instance, I purchase old wrapping paper, note pads, greeting cards, books falling apart, tickets, school papers, business letterhead and papers… Just wanted to share to see if it might help with the stress of working alone. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you much peace.
Hang in there! Thank you for your honest account.
So proud of your outlook and progress in the house 🏠 your parents would be proud❤ as homeowner, I'd get a plumber to come over next time you come- leaks add up to higher water bills. Ask your neighbor (s) to recommend a good one in town ( post the number on your fridge-good # to have just on case). Change brings about new beginnings 😊 without change, you can't go forward. You are a sweet human being - thank you for your words of encouragement towards others 😊❤
Sorry you have to go through this basically alone, similar to my situation almost 4 years ago. Lost mom in April and dad in September of 2020, mom was 91 and dad 88. I had some help but in the end it wasn’t really helping me how I needed it, just people grabbing for money and wanting me to grieve on their schedule. Take every single second you need to deal with this in your way to avoid all the regrets that I have now. If you aren’t sure of something just sleep on it so you don’t kick yourself later on. Seek help, even just someone to talk to and have a meal with as that can make your hard decisions a little easier.
Yes, it is so hard having both parents gone. My parents are gone. You are on that emotional roller-coaster ride we all experienced after the shock of loss and keeping in control when planning the funeral...then all the legal paperwork and the cleanup of personal items. You are doing great by taking small steps in the home clean out and experiencing the emotional up and downs. Your family old van would have been great if it would run and you could haul items to be donated. Hugs and love !
❤❤❤
Love love love the Timelapse!!
Thank you! I will try to do more of them.
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss losing a parent is hard we went through the process of emptying my mum and aunts houses at the same time we lost them within six weeks of each other. So I have a little tip trying just concentrating on one room at a time say like do the kitchen first, then move onto the laundry, then do the master bathroom then bedroom which will make it more peaceful for you to stay then move on to another room leave the garage and shed for last
❤
My sons local school sent home a request the other day for unwanted fabrics, magazines etc (things for crafting). It made me think of you. Hopefully you can sell all but if it becomes too overwhelming try the local schools and aged care homes.
What I see? Your sorting muscles have gotten very strong! Who needs the gym! (joking) Blessings on you as you walk thru this hard season. Bonus! Once the truck is running you can ferry stuff to goodwill. Unexpired food can go to local foodbanks too. One other thought-when I was cleaning out my Mother in Laws house I found she had slipped money in books-like hundreds of dollars. FYI.
You poor thing! Everytime you get rid of things you show us new spaces that are full.I can sure understand how overwhelmed you are.
I know, right? My mom was very good at finding nooks and crannies and filling them with stuff.
Check Kelly blue book for the value of the van….don’t sell to the first interested party… maybe keep a small part from the van (a knob or something…). good luck
That van is worth more than just parts. They are hot right now. VanLiving is big and it’s cool. Somebody would love that project!
We have a friend of the library thst has a store and takes books, magazines, dvd etc they sell and goes to library. Maybe you have something like that
I see homeschooling picker buy old holiday decorations and sell them online. Apparently there’s a market.
You’re doing a lot better. Im glad you are sharing this. You’re getting a lot done. What have you sone with the fabric or do you know yet? Fabric wells well. Some of it, if you can get a quilting person, is worth a good bit. Certain designers etc, it’s not in print anymore. Thanks for the video.
Thank you! I will be selling the fabric along with the other quilting supplies at an upcoming estate sale.
Make sure you take some nice pics of the van.
Do you not have any Aunts, Uncles, or Cousins?? Keep working towards the goal of making the place a home for you, that is the best way to go about it. It's good that you are saying this is now mine and I don't need or won't use this stuff, makes it easier to decide what to do with it all. You should ask around thru the city Senior services and see if there are any quilting groups that you could donate all the fabric and supplies to, that would be a wonderful thing for them to have if there is one around.
I do but they are not reliable. They did not help when my dad passed.
Hello. I am hoping that the vulnerability you share in your videos is cathartic and helpful to you in your grieving and healing process. ❤
I am also wondering if you’ve found any completed quilts, or quilt tops, that your mom made. I think most creative people would like to be remembered by the things they made and would want them to go out into the world as a part of themselves. Additionally, if you find quilts that you don’t cherish, you might be able to make some decent money from selling them.
Sending you lots of positive energy on your journey. ✨✨✨
I do not have very many people in real life that I can share my feelings and emotions with during this difficult time, so sharing them on TH-cam is actually helping me a lot. I do appreciate all the feedback and support I get.
My mom never actually made a quilt. 😢 She just kept buying fabric and supplies. I guess the shopping part was more exciting for her than actually making one, which surprises me because she had sewn and crafted a ton of other projects all through her adult life. After my dad passed she did make a comment that she doesn't sew anymore because she doesn't have anyone to show it to when she finished. Which made me really sad, but explains why she stopped sewing and crafting, and instead kept buying things.
@@chickabiddies oh, I see. I’m sorry to hear that she lost the joy of making.
I'm no expert. I know you've been given advice. But from watching all of your videos I noticed pattern or patterns. This is how I would go about selling or giving stuff away. First of all like how you got rid of the quilting magazines think of selling like items in lots because if you sell one item at a time it's going to take a very long time. And seeing lots go will help you see bigger progress. Also I would make a list of big items and when someone says is that for sell I would list that or sell that first because you have potential buyers. And if you could some how see who might be interested in these things then that would give you indication of which platform or which audience to sell to. Also I would make another list and jot down items you might need until the house is sold like basic necessities and then that gives you an indication of what to get rid until the sell of the house or until you have reached your goal even if you've not sold the house. Hope this helps. You've really helped me think about things since I might have to move myself. I lost both parents and I've been a hospice nurse. I know about stages of grieving. Also I'm now disabled. I'm here for you. I can see things in your eyes. It makes me then worry about me and my things and having my children to worry about stuff and I don't want that. A major change is coming to me. Thank you.❤🙏😇
Floored by the shed! 😳
🎃🎄☃️🎃🦌🎁🎄🎅🎃☃️🎄
...more fabric 😂
Great idea to take shorter trips, and getting an auction house to deal with the sale of some of the items. You are doing an amazing job!
Facebook market place is the way to go and often u can get as much as Ebay. I'd say it's a good first step. Are u in Utah?
Thanks for the tip, I have noticed quite a few responses when I do post on FB Marketplace. I'll be sure to post more stuff on there. I am in Arizona.
Books, $.25 cents each….to sell. Or, take to the Library.
Please be gentle with yourself. You are doing ok how you are doing the decluttering as this is not an easy process.
My mom moved into my grandma's house that was falling apart after she left us. And the only reason why she did it is because my grandma wanted. My mom's house is just fine, nothing wrong with it at all. My grandma's house, the roof is caved in and it leaks. There is a ton of mold in the walls and the electricity is awful. My grandparents had that same phone number for decades and my mom was having a hard time letting that phone number. Eventually I did talk her into changing it. That phone number doesn't matter and the rest of it is just material things that they can't take with them and we can't use. None of it really. I know there is a lot of history in these material things that belonged to them, but we still have our memories and that's all we need. I'm not the sentimental one that's going to keep a bunch of junk around just because it belonged to someone I cared about. What I really want is to have my grandma back and I can't so I don't want her stuff around because looking at it will only hurt more. And like I said I'm not going to use any of it anyway so all it is doing is collecting dust and getting in my way if I were to keep things. I'm sure now that our loved ones are gone they see how little all of those things matter and how much it stresses us. They don't want us going through all of that. It is wrong for them to leave a whole lot of things for us to do you have to deal with but people don't think about that because they don't want to die and they don't know when it will happen. I'm sure if it's someone that has cancer or something, they know that it is going to happen soon so they are going to get rid of their things so we don't have to
Please keep the van
Why?
@chickabiddies Maybe put a new motor in it ,fix it up or put it in your back yard and plant flowers around it and use it for a shed? Just for memory sake. I think I'm way too sentimental but can't you use it for something.?
Why not keep the van and take some trips in it? ❤
It's not running, plus it's very hard to drive. It needs a full restoration which I don't want to put the money into it. There is a pick up truck here that I do plan on keeping.
You can request that disconnected landline phone number be your cell phone number if you want to change your cell phone number and keep the number that has memories for you.
Do you have any relatives or friends of your parents still around?
I have relatives but they are not reliable, they did not help when my dad passed away. My mom's friends are very elderly and live out of state.
@@chickabiddies sorry you are alone with all this, I suppose there is no hurry to get it all done so work when you can, I’d help if I lived near you but I think I’m way away from where you are, lol like across the country🙁
Do you have any aunts and uncles on either side? Cousins?
I do, but they are not very reliable.
From someone who has just about every machine Cricut ever made, unfortunately your mom's isn't worth hardly anything. You need cartridges for that machine and most people don't use them anymore because the cartridges were just too expensive to collect.
I'm sure you can get something for it, but I don't think you'll be making a car payment with it 😉- maybe 25 bucks?
Oh, shoot. Thanks for letting me know!
I feel like your nickel and dime selling yourself to death, might have to donate alot of stuff.
Your sore throat and nose could be due to the accumulation of dust that you are disturbing.
I paused the video and checked contacts: yes, my father is still in there and he passed away in 2009. 🥲
I did the exact same thing, and my father‘s number is still in my phone too (he passed almost 8 years ago). Even though he almost never used his cell phone, I won’t delete his number.