"Truth is that I skipped breakfast today because I had to come to work to defend an innocent man" Golden opportunity for "and now I'm hungry... for justice"
On my very first day of law school, my contracts professor told our whole class that when an opinion starts up with the Latin, we should just translate that as "here comes the bullshit," so when your first words were habeas corpus... As a Real Lawyer (TM), I feel like I've heard actual arguments from licensed attorneys that made about as much sense as this. 😂 Excellent work maligning my (our?) profession, Jim. Let me know if you ever need a consult on further videos on this scheme.
Perhaps your truest gift is comedy? I just know I chuckled through the whole thing, admiring your generic American accent and insertions of ASMR sounds sprinkled throughout. You are a natural actor and this was a lovely addition to your body of work 🐠 I rest my case.🖤
This really helped me tame a squirrelly brain and focus on some mundane work tasks. And once again I applaud your ability to do such a variety of American accents, some VERY subtly different from each other.
I was cleaning my living room while i listened to this video, and imagined myself not as a client but a janitor who kept mopping the same five square feet of floor outside the court room so I could listen to this train wreck of a lawsuit go down.
im... trying to follow this logic and my brain cant take it. jim is either completely unhinged or a genius. i dont know how he channels this sort of spirit so well but somehow he does it
I just like how you keep explaining the definitions of the individual words not the legal terms. Just makes me think of every trail movie - pure bs but super entertaining. That wind-up arm thoooo!! 😂 Great job on the accent and the colloquialisms! I’m so happy to have found this channel! Jim you’re an absolute mensch🖖🏻🖖🏻🖖🏻
Are you a fan of the tv show “The Office?” I feel like this is when Michael Scott says “ Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” 😂🖤🙌
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason, whatsoever..
I don’t ever really comment on videos but, I’ve been really going through massive mental issues during this quarantine and Almost every day since I found your channel about a month ago, I’ve been watching your videos and man, it genuinely feels good to just relax and ease my mind. You’re phenomenal at what you do man.
As soon I read the title, I started giggling. I haven't stopped. 😂 On a serious note, I feel bad I never watched your content before quarantine. You are an absolute gem. 💕
"Truth is that I live on the planet earth...and I am not ticklish." Bruh I laughed so hard. ♡ Now legit I thought he had a British/English accent irl because all videos I've watched preciously have had that. Crazy good. Thanks so much to all the effort and energy you put into these. They calm my anxiety and relax me to sleep. ♡
I can't do it 😂😂😂😂 I can't. Jim stooooop that ending 😂 I was literally dozing off and then laughed so hard I dropped my phone against my face. Oh god, never stop doing these pleaaaase your comedy is so good.
“There is a clairvoyance to that phrase, a salience that permeates the entire structure of our beautiful country” yo shaaaaaaaade This was a riot, thank you, absolutely loved the repeated pattern at the end, that 100% scratched my id
I only have one question Jim, how the hell do you keep a straight face? Gufffawing is NOT conducive to sleep. Dude, this had me ROTFLMAO. And the mirror touch from the feather was a lovely surprise. Thank you for making my Friday start with a such a stellar performance. 😊 🤗❤️
I can't get over how good your North American accent is!! Best I've heard from someone across the pond. :) Your videos are all so creative and tingly. Super glad I came across your channel! Cheers from Canada.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Me, has been lost and distracted for several minutes, but don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the other jurors; *Nods seriously*
Brilliant. I thought you were trying to lead the evidence in all different directions, but the you tie it up nicely into a perfect bow. Your honor we find the defendant not guilty.
I would never want this man as my lawyer or my asmrtist, I'd lose the case and be so engrossed in what he's saying that I'd never fall asleep. Man this is good though
so many things going on rn 1) the gun noises 😭 2) the rant about toast??! 3) the stapling to the wall, brushing their hair and tickling their face with a feather😭
Omg Jim, you had me cracking up! Perfect accent! I’ll have to watch this multiple times to get all the gems you snuck in there! ☀️☀️☀️ also, Timothy McVeigh? Hahaha
I love it when you do this kind of thing. You crack me up. Glad this lawyer was able to uphold the *scales* of justice. He is very sofishticated...must have gone to a great school. I don't mean to sound koi, but I would dolphinitely hire him. If this comment has too many bad puns just let minnow..... 😃😛
Jim: "Habeas Corpus." Me: "Latin for 'You Have the Body' meaning the accuser must have the actual corpse as evidence to present to prove murder - yes continue." Jim: "No - it doesn't mean to live in a corpse. No one knows what it means." Me: "...Uh - I suggest a change of representation?"
I save your new videos to watch during wee hour feeding sessions with my daughter, & it makes me look forward to her waking me up at 4am. Thank you so much for your brilliant comedy & talent!
Ah, so our boring businessman had his position desaturated and went back to school and got his J.D.! So many giggles with Jim's zany improvisation and hilarity. When the pistol showed up I was anxiously waiting for someone to get shot lol (but impressed with the gun swagger, let's make him an honorary American just for that 😉). 4:59 is probably my most favorite Jim moment ever. Lots of great sounds in all this silliness...the brush bristle pressing on the gloves at 10:58 is a keeper, there's more mouth moistness than usual in places, and the feather is back! Strangely fascinated with that tie texture...
This is in my rotation of videos to put me to sleep and keep me asleep. This is absolutely hilarious and ridiculous!!! Of the multitude of things that I love about this, the feather’s thud cracks me up. And how do YOU know Timothy McVeigh?!? I love this so much!!! Much love!!! 💙💙💙
Okay, now that was epic, you have no idea what I was envisioning, I love a good mystery and this had all the mind bender thought processes going as to who could be the defendant, the ending got me......I'm still giggling! Another masterpiece! :D Staples........LOL!
I plead the fish
🐟
This had me rolling! Well done👏👏👏👏😄
Spoiler alert 🚨 🐠 🐟
Best screen name ever
Your trial is dead in the water.
"Truth is that I skipped breakfast today because I had to come to work to defend an innocent man"
Golden opportunity for "and now I'm hungry... for justice"
👏
That'll be in the Netflix adaptation of this video.
"I dunno, it's Latin or something."
My law school career in a nutshell
Can be used about a history degree, too.
When questioned, I've actually have said... "how should I know, it was 1800 or some crap."
“It’s ceremonial everything is ceremonial”
-Archaeology
"It's just zeros and ones"
- Computer Science
Same
0/10 Didn’t begin with a “now I might be just a simple country lawyer”
The way the lawyer was speaking made me think he was the killer the whole time.
🤣🤣
He does have a suspiciously unlimited amount of access to latex gloves...
"Habeus corpus. Nobody knows what it means."
Buckle up guys, this is gonna get bumpy.
I know what it means and how it applies to legal matters, which I can blame my English Literature lessons when I was 15 for
Studio Gible I didn’t really understand it when I looked it up. Do you think you could simplify it?
@@wwolfmanbro9399 habeus corpus basically means the right to have a trial
“Toasters don’t toast! Toast toasts toast!”
#DontBreadOnMe
Bread to you
*toasts your toasts with mind*
On my very first day of law school, my contracts professor told our whole class that when an opinion starts up with the Latin, we should just translate that as "here comes the bullshit," so when your first words were habeas corpus...
As a Real Lawyer (TM), I feel like I've heard actual arguments from licensed attorneys that made about as much sense as this. 😂 Excellent work maligning my (our?) profession, Jim. Let me know if you ever need a consult on further videos on this scheme.
Part II: Res Ipsa Loquitur
Perhaps your truest gift is comedy?
I just know I chuckled through the whole thing, admiring your generic American accent and insertions of ASMR sounds sprinkled throughout. You are a natural actor and this was a lovely addition to your body of work 🐠
I rest my case.🖤
This is me. Defending myself for every bad decision I have ever made. I think I qualify as a lawyer Jim. Teach me your ways. 😂😂
We all just gonna ignore 21:10 where he completely annihilated the Prosecutor?😂😂
Damn he really Winston Payne
@@catsandcaffine3635 truly a Damon Gant.
One of my assignments for my honors students is a closing argument in a mock trial. I only wish they would be this entertaining.
This really helped me tame a squirrelly brain and focus on some mundane work tasks. And once again I applaud your ability to do such a variety of American accents, some VERY subtly different from each other.
I was cleaning my living room while i listened to this video, and imagined myself not as a client but a janitor who kept mopping the same five square feet of floor outside the court room so I could listen to this train wreck of a lawsuit go down.
That’s a great mental image!
That’s a great mental image!
This is an old comment but it made me laugh really hard in the middle of the night, stay relaxing
That’s a great mental image!
That's a great mental image!
im... trying to follow this logic and my brain cant take it. jim is either completely unhinged or a genius. i dont know how he channels this sort of spirit so well but somehow he does it
"Innocent man? He killed 80 people in two days."
He's adopted!
Vidhi Basu wha?
“He killed 30 children and wounded 5”
@@murraayyy999 AND MY ONLY REGRET IS NOT FINISHING OFF THE OTHER 5!
@@murraayyy999 I'll do it again
He looks like Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird.
Bruh you have me dead
That'd be such an interesting roleplay honestly
He’s like a mix between Atticus Finch and Phoenix Wright’s personalities.
Why was the feather the heaviest?? Why did it make that sound???😂 I can't get over that
There was no feather.
There was never any feather.
We all know a ton of feathers is heavier than a ton of bricks so it’s safe to assume a single feather is gonna be quite hwavy
"Objection! The Defense is tampering with evidence."
"Overruled. It's relaxing."
I just like how you keep explaining the definitions of the individual words not the legal terms. Just makes me think of every trail movie - pure bs but super entertaining. That wind-up arm thoooo!! 😂 Great job on the accent and the colloquialisms! I’m so happy to have found this channel! Jim you’re an absolute mensch🖖🏻🖖🏻🖖🏻
The ULTIMATE exhibit **starts stripping**
🤣
LMAO
This is not how I remember How to Get Away with Murder.
He definitely forgot to introduce a new suspect 😱😱
@@evangelinemcdowell8114 Annalise Keating would be disappointed.
This is Ace Attorney levels of wild and I'm entirely here for it. Thank you for this incredible content, as per usual.
Are you a fan of the tv show “The Office?” I feel like this is when Michael Scott says “ Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” 😂🖤🙌
Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason, whatsoever..
Cassiopeia D 🙌🙌😂😂
Habeas corpus: no one knows what it means.
Me, criminal justice major: Well this oughta be a fun ride......
I have Latin at high-school so same. I just stopped dead in my tracks like "WHAT NOW???"
I don’t ever really comment on videos but, I’ve been really going through massive mental issues during this quarantine and Almost every day since I found your channel about a month ago, I’ve been watching your videos and man, it genuinely feels good to just relax and ease my mind. You’re phenomenal at what you do man.
How are you able to put out such quality and such a herculean rate? Great stuff as always good sir :)
So the special negotiator of the special police, get the fuck out of my way became a lawyer? Nice ahahaha
Definitely one for relaxation and laughter, not for falling asleep. Love it!
These scripts HAVE GOT to be as fun to make as they are to watch!
As soon I read the title, I started giggling. I haven't stopped. 😂 On a serious note, I feel bad I never watched your content before quarantine. You are an absolute gem. 💕
"Truth is that I live on the planet earth...and I am not ticklish."
Bruh I laughed so hard. ♡ Now legit I thought he had a British/English accent irl because all videos I've watched preciously have had that. Crazy good. Thanks so much to all the effort and energy you put into these. They calm my anxiety and relax me to sleep. ♡
I can't do it 😂😂😂😂 I can't. Jim stooooop that ending 😂 I was literally dozing off and then laughed so hard I dropped my phone against my face. Oh god, never stop doing these pleaaaase your comedy is so good.
Dearest Jimothy,
Are you legit not ticklish?!
This question needs to be answered, Jim!
the planet wants to know
backwardglances Not that I speak for Jim but he mentioned in another feather centred video that he is in fact not ticklish.
The Druid Barbarian :) Thanks! Hope you are doing well.
We need a jury trial to determine the verdict 😂
This is the Bureaucratic Dystopian guys origin story
Tfw you go from a lawyer to a bureaucratic fast-food worker
He got sacked after bungling this case
Your Mouth sounds in this are on point!
Jodie Marie ASMR Agreed
brushed the victim's hair???? actually stapled my victim to a wall?
Awfully nice treatment for the victim I mean it sounds badass :3
We took lessons from Matt
@@autumnwinters9366 oh hell yeah!
“This leads me to the ultimate exhibit” Proceeds to disrobe 😉
The only thing that could have made this better would have been Guts and Caska sitting on the Jury.
Jessica McNeir Oh that would be equal parts hysterical and adorable.
Was there a Berserk reference I missed?
Harrold yeah, I was listening for a reference the whole time but didn’t recognize anything
@@meredithmonroe9723 😂
@idk man @Harrold Those are the names of Jim's two cats.
“There is a clairvoyance to that phrase, a salience that permeates the entire structure of our beautiful country” yo shaaaaaaaade
This was a riot, thank you, absolutely loved the repeated pattern at the end, that 100% scratched my id
I only have one question Jim, how the hell do you keep a straight face? Gufffawing is NOT conducive to sleep. Dude, this had me ROTFLMAO. And the mirror touch from the feather was a lovely surprise. Thank you for making my Friday start with a such a stellar performance. 😊 🤗❤️
I don't know man, those goldfish can be pretty devious.
Definitely my favorite episode of Law & Order: Special Fishing Unit.
That was a journey! 😆
Thank you for bringing back the feather. 💚
Jimmy. This is art. You are art. Thank you. Stay safe💙 Goodnight everyone 😙
I can't get over how good your North American accent is!! Best I've heard from someone across the pond. :) Your videos are all so creative and tingly. Super glad I came across your channel! Cheers from Canada.
How do you not laugh at yourself during these? I was laughing the entire time.
You make a brilliant lawyer.
This never crossed my mind for an ASMR rollplay but it is PERFECT and was both hysterical and tingle-generating. I need to hear more!!! Mistrial!!
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Me, has been lost and distracted for several minutes, but don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the other jurors;
*Nods seriously*
Jim: truth is in the heart
Deee-lite: groove is in the heart
4:59 man, look at him go!!!! Like honestly them moves man, WOW!!!!
POV: you are in the abandoned 80s disco where the local crackhead lives
Thanks!
After being in mock trial for like 8 years this is fantastic
Me watching my lawyer say all this knowing I’m 100% cooked
Brilliant. I thought you were trying to lead the evidence in all different directions, but the you tie it up nicely into a perfect bow. Your honor we find the defendant not guilty.
With an argument like this, We the members of the Jury find your Client the Goldfish, not guilty! Great Job Jim! 💪❤
I love this guy omg 😫😍 It's so nice that you follow back your followers on insta! I was so surprised :)
As a Belgian, my dream job just changed to : work for the Stationary Conglomerate as a stapler expert 🤣
Love how creative your role plays are. I've never seen lawyer asmr before! Incredibly relaxing and interesting at the same time. :)
Look at my lawyer dawg I’m going to jail 💀💀💀
I would never want this man as my lawyer or my asmrtist, I'd lose the case and be so engrossed in what he's saying that I'd never fall asleep. Man this is good though
Forget Better Call Saul, we're calling Jim.
Omg I'm a first year law student and this is cracking me up so bad 😂😂😂😂
so many things going on rn
1) the gun noises 😭
2) the rant about toast??!
3) the stapling to the wall, brushing their hair and tickling their face with a feather😭
"Truth, is I live on planet earth. And I'm not ticklish."
I lost it at this moment lmaaao. This is comedy gold
Can you make another one, I have been watching this repeatedly for months, so many tingles
I made it 3 minutes in and slept through a sever thunderstorm, thank you
My guy i have NO clue what you're on about, but im sold.
look at my lawyer dog... im going to jail
"Don't worry, it's not loaded. " your videos are severely underappreciated. I hope you blow up.
You made my day Jim, this is so funny and relaxing at the same time. Thank you.
Omg Jim, you had me cracking up! Perfect accent! I’ll have to watch this multiple times to get all the gems you snuck in there! ☀️☀️☀️ also, Timothy McVeigh? Hahaha
I love it when you do this kind of thing. You crack me up.
Glad this lawyer was able to uphold the *scales* of justice.
He is very sofishticated...must have gone to a great school.
I don't mean to sound koi, but I would dolphinitely hire him.
If this comment has too many bad puns just let minnow.....
😃😛
LOVE the puns!!!
Emma Kruis seconded
How is this so relaxing??? 😍 much love (and cuddles) xx :)
Spoken like a true lawyer. You talk a lot but never saying anything at all. Good job! 😁
Jim: "Habeas Corpus."
Me: "Latin for 'You Have the Body' meaning the accuser must have the actual corpse as evidence to present to prove murder - yes continue."
Jim: "No - it doesn't mean to live in a corpse. No one knows what it means."
Me: "...Uh - I suggest a change of representation?"
You've heard of 'Better call Saul'
Now get ready for 'Get Whim Jim'
This is hilarious. These types of role play videos along with the one on one type personal videos are my favorites. ☺😘😉
I save your new videos to watch during wee hour feeding sessions with my daughter, & it makes me look forward to her waking me up at 4am. Thank you so much for your brilliant comedy & talent!
Dammit, I started giggling way too quickly. Well done. 😄
I'm so stressed but at the same time, relaxed. Damn you Jim!
The only thing more impresive than your asmr videos is that you take time to read the comments
Thank you!
I love your hands gestures ... I dunno why it gives me chills 🤭
Ah, so our boring businessman had his position desaturated and went back to school and got his J.D.! So many giggles with Jim's zany improvisation and hilarity. When the pistol showed up I was anxiously waiting for someone to get shot lol (but impressed with the gun swagger, let's make him an honorary American just for that 😉). 4:59 is probably my most favorite Jim moment ever. Lots of great sounds in all this silliness...the brush bristle pressing on the gloves at 10:58 is a keeper, there's more mouth moistness than usual in places, and the feather is back! Strangely fascinated with that tie texture...
omg 4:59 is the best thing ever.. the new ministry of silly walks is now arm gymnastics
@@SpookyStregaAL No matter how many times I watch it, I cackle every time--Jim is one of a kind! (re-commenting, my last one disappeared!)
Kinda felt like he was trying to sell us the stapler and the brush
that hair in my face 😱😂😂😂😂 you're genius, Jim. 💜
You should make a few of these with Edgeworth from Ace Attorney
7:55 Wtf even is this civil case, bwahaha
I'm not entirely sure what to make of this, but it was awesome & humorous. Thanks for the amusement & creativity, Jim! 😆👍
Your voice is medicine ❤
Greetings and stay safe ❤
PS. As a voice actress let me tell you...again...you are an amazing actor.
-Carlota.
Case adjourned, jury in deep sleep.
This is in my rotation of videos to put me to sleep and keep me asleep. This is absolutely hilarious and ridiculous!!! Of the multitude of things that I love about this, the feather’s thud cracks me up. And how do YOU know Timothy McVeigh?!? I love this so much!!!
Much love!!! 💙💙💙
I love how when he says 'habeas corpus' he takes a step back as if he's just blown everyone's mind.
Take a shot of 100 proof every time he says " hes not ticklish ".
Okay, now that was epic, you have no idea what I was envisioning, I love a good mystery and this had all the mind bender thought processes going as to who could be the defendant, the ending got me......I'm still giggling! Another masterpiece! :D Staples........LOL!
when you know Jim is throwing random law terms around, you KNOW it's gonna be a hoot!
“A pistol. Everyone has one. I’ve got three. My kid has two. Are they really that dangerous?” It’s like he’s actually been to the US. 😂
i would let him sue me.
This new Ace Attorney Live Action looks great. 10/10.
The truth is this is amazing 😍