The number one thing keeping you from your creative dreams
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ค. 2024
- Sharing your work can be terrifying. Is it possible to get past this fear? How is it different when you're a beginner versus when you have a career? Which moments were the worst? And why does TH-cam criticism hit so differently?
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The Cozy Creative = best personality on TH-cam.
AGREED!!!
Agreed!
Oh gosh you are all too sweet!!
Yeah it’s VERY true. ❤❤❤
Totally agree!
"Without the attempt there is no finished product." Well said, Lidiya!
You articulate very clearly what feels like slogging endlessly through a dark, monster-infested forest.
"All glory comes from daring to begin."
It's so soothing listening to you calmly discuss turmoil, like maybe one day it won't feel so terrifying ❤❤❤
"There continue to be new ways to feel like a failure." So simultaneously scary and encouraging. 😅
Fun failure story incoming. I just finished my freshman year of college and took a creative writing workshop for my major. Everyone had to write a short story for the whole class to read and critique (aka my own personal hell) and like the second feedback letter I got began with, and I quote, "I can appreciate the time and effort you put into this, but I have several issues with the setting, plot, and characters." And I just sat there for a second and said "You mean like the three main elements of a story????" It went onto a second page of criticism when the letters themselves were only supposed to be one page (of mostly positive feedback since it was just a beginner workshop) and ended with the line "I hope this doesn't come off as harsh."
The letter was in fact so harsh that our professor pulled me aside after class to ask me if I was okay after reading that. I laugh about it now occasionally, but god, my entire body just has a visceral reaction every time I remember that letter.
I've had someone tell me I was terrible at writing. Someone I truly admired and thought was a friend. This happened when I was 15 years old. Twenty years later, I'm 35, still hoping and dreaming of writing a novel. And most of the days, this person's words still ring in my ears and convince me that I will never achieve that.
I think you kind of have to write a book now. Do it for spite!😈
That person was truly misguided, sorry that happened to you, I hope you do end up writing that book!!
@@mattahlschwede4810 I kinda do, don't I? haha I'm working really hard on overcoming that blockage.
@@mattahlschwede4810 I love this energy and emoji hahaha. @ademers03 I'm picking up a vibe that the person who said this to you had a very deep creative wound, and saw your beautiful light and skill for words and then they decided to take it out on you. Maybe I'm only saying this because I share a very similar experience. Let's keep going and show them what we've got!!! I hope your story sees the light 💖
That is SO terrible. I hope you can finally banish that away and get your novel written. It makes me so furious when people say that because even if your writing was "terrible", I mean, I would never put it in those words, but um yeah you were 15. Weren't we all.
Undiagnosed ADHD kept me from finishing anything - not just in writing, but in life.
I worked really hard over the past few years to teach myself I am someone who can and does accomplish things.
Not there yet, but I feel so much better about my writing, but I have no one to share it with. Waiting till the whole book is complete is demotivating, I need my instant gratification to keep me going lol
I wanted to be a writer all my young life, but never started an actual story. I got diagnosed and medicated for ADHD at a pretty early age, and about a year and a half later I finished my first novel. Knowing is the first step.
Fellow ADHD-er here. I have the same exact issues plus the overwhelming anxiety of feeling like everything I write sucks or feeling overwhelmed by the the different ideas that flood my brain, so it's hard to commit to certain directions in my writing. I'm experimenting with different outlines and writing exercises for my current project and I joined Sisters in Crime so that I have other mystery writers to bounce ideas off of and to find writing/critiquing groups. What genre are you writing in? Try to find a national group for that genre with a local chapter so you can get some of that instant gratification going.
Have you tried finding someone to swap chapters with as you go? Or if you do feel okay about sharing in public (understandably not everyone does)...I have a feeling when I was younger I would have been all about posting on Wattpad or Royal Road or some serial platform to keep me going. Because I had the same problem for sure... I ended up sharing stuff as I wrote it to my online role-playing partner. Of course the only problem is that I ended up writing meandering role-play-ish stuff for her instead of thinking about publication for a while, but hey, it was experience.
@@lidiyafoxgloveauthor funnily enough, just last week I thought about Wattpad for the first time, for this very reason! But I had so many issues with setting up my account, it wouldn't let me change the username, then I saw people were complaining about their chapters being deleted etc. and I gave up. Seems like Wattpad is on a decline. Royal road seems to heavily skew towards LitRPG and Isekai, not the epic fantasy with a romantic subplot I tend to write 😕
The only other option I know of would be AO3 for original fiction; does anyone here have experience with getting traction on there?
ADHD here as well. I have a zillion stories circulating in and out of my brain all the time that NEED to come out. I construct them, make outlines and then fizzle out. I can't seem to finish a book to save my life, BUT I can complete a poem (my longest is a good 20 minute read). So now I'm experimenting with different types of longform poetry so I can get these things out of my head. 😊
Congrats on 10k🎉
Yay!🎉
I've got to say that I realized recently how much I look forward to your videos. Thank you so much for sharing.
My creative work got a lot better, once I learned to spend more time on it. For years, I had no faith in my own ability to revise; I always figured I was just making it worse, even though I knew parts of what I'd written didn't quite work. It was like I wanted to run away from what I'd just finished. But once I learned to push through that feeling (and be a little detached), I improved a lot and gained confidence.
I've been dealing with feeling like a failure and not being 'good enough' to be an artist for the past few days. Thanks for the encouragement, sometimes it feels like I'm not improving at all and it can get really demotivating. I guess its time to go back to collecting my stack of failures, I'll get somewhere someday! 💛
I create jewelry and am a painter and a writer and the criticism does hit differently. The jewelry is something I am not at all passionate about (I don’t like to wear it) but I love making it. The process is so fun. When I get criticisms about that, I usually brush it off with no problem. The painting criticism is a bit tougher as I am passionate about it and the writing is probably the worst because that’s a huge part of who I am. I feel like that is part of why criticism and failure hits so hard in those creative ways that we define ourselves because we have internalized the creative process and so we tend to internalize the comments, successes, and failures. If I say I am a writer and I cannot imagine not writing and someone rejects my book or leaves a bad review, it’s like they are rejecting who I am at my core.
For me, the best help has been to really work on mindset. First, I worked on separating myself from my creative works - my book is not me, it is just a thing I made. Second, I worked hard to redefine failure. I did this by failing spectacularly as often as possible (strangely enough this helped a lot with the first thing as well). I made horrible paintings on purpose and wrote just awful stories. I told myself I wasn’t failing, I was discovering a way not to do something and I always made sure to pick out at least one thing I liked from that horrible work, one thing I could build on later. And last, I redefined success. Success wasn’t getting a book deal or getting into a gallery - success was trying something new, showing my work in public, or even taking a class to build my skills.
These are all such great ways to work on those feelings. Man, I am really terrible separating myself from the Hidden Lands books though. Not sure it's possible. They've been so ingrained in me for SO long... With other books, though, it is much easier, especially once a little time has passed.
Maybe a bit tangential, but I think one of the worst feelings as a writer is to be unable to replicate a previous success, like "I was already there! What I was doing wrong now?!"
Yes, that is SO true!
YES! My self published poetry collection did better than I expected and now I feel like I put all kinds of pressure on myself
For once the algorithm has worked it’s magic and given me a serendipitous moment. Love the channel and your commentary/perspective.
lol, it’s true, bad TH-cam comments are like that annoying customer in retail. 😂
This was like therapy! I wish I had this video a year ago when I was in a dark place with my writing. But I’m still glad to have the video now, and I’m grateful to be out of that place now. Thank you for your channel. It’s been a huge emotional support as I publish my first book. 🖤
I love your attitude, perspectives, and gentle spirit. Thank you for all the wonderful videos you share! I love learning about your experiences as a professional writer. Stay awesome! -Rachel
"Strict old sensei" = Asian parents🤣
Like you, I pretty much declared after college graduation that I'm going to be a writer without having ever written anything of substance outside of a few short stories and college essays. By declaring my intentions to one and all, I backed myself into a corner and had to prove to everyone that I was a good writer (when I really wasn't at the time). And it was a grind. Like I kept saying "I'm working on a novel" except I was writing out of order, learning how to write, organize, craft, etc... And it took me about 4 years to actually produce a 1st novel. During those 4 years, friends and coworkers were like "are you finished with your novel yet?" and my response was "I'm almost done. I'm getting there." Dude, I was playing poker with an empty hand and feeling like a total loser😅But it worked out in the end (whew).
Yes! A bad review that sounds like they didn't even read the book bothers me the most.
A mean YT comment really is like working retail (and having worked retail and handled many unnecessarily angry people), I'm just grateful I don't have to deal with 'em in real life. And I'm also grateful that I'm just dodging words instead of actual physical objects like I used to.
It's so wild how you can struggle for four years to get that first novel down and now you have MANY novels! And same here. If there is one thing I wish I could impart on the struggling newbies it's that sense of like, yeah, it is very hard for years but if you push through eventually you can just like...write novels. (I mean, still not always easily...but...definitely not like that first one or two.)
@@lidiyafoxgloveauthor Lidiya, you have to listen to Porter Robinson's song Musician and pay attention to the lyrics! It perfectly summarizes all you've said in this video. Whenever I'm down creatively (as I am now), I listen to it to remind me that I'm persevere through it.
I want to say thank you a hundred times (and then some!). Your channel offers so much beautiful and important wisdom that I have been waiting to hear but didn't know it. Thank you thank you thank you. Congratulations on 10k, I am so happy for you!!!
You deserve all the happiness in the world.
That is so kind, thank you so much!!!
I told my aunt that I wanted to be a writer and she told me that I wouldn't make money unless I moved to Los Angeles. I felt shut down. It took me ten years to rediscover my talent. And looking back it's like that was such a stupid advice, why LA? I don't talk to her much.
I am a music creative and feel like I can relate to a lot of what you said. Music has been something I'd love since forever but I mainly have used it for play. A few years ago I tried to do singing covers on TH-cam but then after "failing" (And by that I mean burning out and becoming busy with life) I lost my urge to sing and deleted my stuff. Years later, I realized that I still love music and created a new channel.
What keeps me going is both the joy of being able to share my voice, and also honing my craft so I won't have to work a stressful 9 to 5 anymore. Sometimes I do get discouraged when I know that my previous channel got more attention, but singing is what makes me happy and TH-cam is just an entry for people to hear my voice not the end goal. Any experience for people to hear me and positive feedback is what pushes me to keep going
Also side note: I don't see too many channels where authors do read aloud of their books and I think that is very cool and unique! It's on my to be watched list 😆
Sorry for the long paragraph 😅
I started writing as a very newly diagnosed autistic 13 year old. My family and teachers have been mostly supportive, and I've never given up on writing novels for any real stretch of time. However, I have endured some very painful failures in the form of absolutely rancid critique and just plain low sales which continue to this day. In particular a friend who read a little of a book while I was in college told me I had no voice. That still annoys me, but I think they were mostly right because at the time I'd been polishing away everything interesting I added to the story, which was (Duh) a big mistake. Anyway, I kept at it and have indie-published a lot of titles. Even so, I think my greatest challenge as a writer is sticking with longer works. I don't really get lost in stories most of the time, so I usually prefer to read shorter books, but I write fantasy and longer works or series appear to be the order of the day. I think I'm ready to stop resisting that pull and commit to longer projects.
You didn't ask for my life story, but ya kind of got it anyway. Great channel.
Yes, the "I write shorter but I also write fantasy" sort of touches on what can be a general frustration. So often, genres develop somewhat arbitrary rules that don't always align with what we write naturally. There's no reason a good fantasy CAN'T be shorter...many good children's fantasy is short, for example. But it's shaped up into an expectation that adult fantasy = long.
Oh MAN. I had such huge problems creating for a long time because I was so depressed and burned out on top of being young, freakishly sensitive, and socially inept that even the slightest hint of rejection was enough to send me spiralling, regardless of the area but ESPECIALLY in writing. I jealously guarded my bad poetry and half written stories bc sharing felt like a mistake. Recovering from that part of my life and addressing the trauma (I'm sick of that word but there's no better way to describe it) that got me in that hole was key to getting me in a place where, at least in theory, I was more comfortable failing. ONWARD.
I love your videos! I could listen to you all day long. 🥰😊
God bless you, Lidiya. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and experience and knowledge that comes from all of this.
i really enjoyed this video a lot, being vulnerable and open to criticism and sitting through the fire...
I’ve watched this video three times now. Such good advice.
It's so eerie that this particular video popped up in my feed today. I'm not even 3 minutes in and you are already bringing up subjects I was pondering yesterday. I'm wondering if I'm completely wasting my time and spinning my wheels trying to write a mystery novel when I have a full-time job, I'm a mom of two middle school-aged boys, and I have ADHD which makes initiating/sustaining/finishing tasks (even tasks I really want to do) difficult. I'm pausing to make a chamomile iced latte and grab my knitting before I settle down to this gift of a video!
We talked about ADHD & completing projects quite a bit in my Discord server afterward, definitely a common problem. I suspect I'm also in that category but in my 20s I shifted from not being able to finish any books or focus on them to hyperfocusing on them and dropping every other ball in my life forever after... for better or for worse...
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and I'm so impressed with anyone who can get any writing done with kids AND a full time job!
Thank you for your videos! They have helped me so much!
Hi Lidiya, this was another great video. How do you manage/keep track of your ideas? I have two main ideas that I can't stop thinking about every day. I don't know how to focus on one without getting my focus pulled to the other. But at the same time, I don't want to lose/forget my ideas or motivation for the second project. How do you juggle lots of ideas? How do you decide what to focus on, and when? How do you manage your time/focus/etc?
Maybe you already covered this in one of your other videos. I can't remember off the top of my head. But if you haven't, I would love to see a video about that! :)
Not a professional. But I have too many idea due to ADHD and found the best way is to write them in a journal/notes app.
As for which one to focus on I usually go with the story I want to talk about most. Like the idea that’s been constantly festering. But I also have several side writing projects so maybe not the most effective way
I'll add that one to the list!
This is a great piece of advice! Your anecdotes really resonate and oh boy, I've definitely been on both sides of the criticism pendulum.
Very insightful. Didnt think I needed to hear this but I did. Thanks!
I accidentally came across this channel. So incredibly glad I did. This is such great life advice, not just for creatives. I am a new subscriber. I look forward to seeing more! Thank you!
Wow, that was really on target for me. Thank you.
Another fine video, thanks!
This was definitely, definitely needed. Everyone has that fear of failure, but like you said every artist had gone through some kind of failure or rejection in their lives. Nothing is glass perfect. You got to accept the good in critques even if they are somewhat harsh. The way you defined the stage in childhood to teens etc. about it was "at play" (for me it was mostly drawing, making comics or even my own visual books), you're right that one has no idea once they get older the technicality of knowing dimensions of a book, publishing requirements, design, etc., and I recall that before publishing my first coloring book, I had to delve into learning what all that stuff was in order to make the book acceptable. All that jazz is a whole different part of publishing that my teenage self wouldn't have known. This video really (as I like to say when something has big impact on me) "hits the kokoro" (heart in Japanese in case nobody knows), and I'm glad to see that you were able to share your experience and helps those like myself who struggle in the midst of all this. Thank you, and God bless.
This was so so helpful! Thank you for all that you do
Do you think the job you work affects your perseverance?
I'm not too familiar with your catalogue, but can you recommend me your most typical fantasy book? I'm not big into romance, but I am really interested in reading one of your books, and I remember you mentioning somewhere that you took a shot at fantasy with your world you'd been making for 30 years or something. Love your vids and would love even more to see how you write :)
The Broken Queen probably has the least romance proportionally, a fair amount of it is more of a coming-of-age/coming-into-powers story and trying to break the curse on the kingdom.
Yaaaay, I've been waiting on this topic. P.S you look so young and healthy 💗
Thank you! It won't last forever, but hopefully you'll all stick with me when I become the Cozy Crone 😂
@@lidiyafoxgloveauthor hahaha, don't worry, we will ❤️
Nice thumbnail!
yt comments ive received are about my weight. LOL. the hurt comes from having saved someones life who features zines on their instagram and has yet to feature my zine. its either eyeroll or sadness.
Noice
Hiya. 🤗🦋🥰🌈
Anyone else getting glitches?
TH-cam seems to be doing it a lot lately, regardless of channel
No, sorry.
I agree so much with everything you said! I'm building my career as an illustrator (though I used to be a lot more into writing and lately I've been wanting to get back into it) and it's just such a loooong hard painful broke slog 🥲 but I've also realised that it's the only thing I can tolerate being this hard and still loving it. I'm now at probably the most confusing phase yet where I get tons of praise and appreciation for my art, but that still doesn't translate into success or sustainable income. I haven't had to deal a whole lot with criticism of my art directly, not recently anyway, but what has really been getting me down is rejection based on the fact that I'm not native of the country I live in and that's not something I can "improve at" 😒