Children as adversaries

The narratives that we have about our children influence our response to them. If we see our toddler's behavior as manipulative, villainous, or mean, we have the perspective that our children are set against us. This puts us in a relationship with them that requires us to fight for our positions with them. Instead, if we consider that our toddlers are learning to express their wants and needs and have limited vocabulary for it we might look at it differently. If we see that they are trying to learn methods of expressing their autonomy, then we might make a shift from trying to force them to do what we want through being mean or manipulative, to teaching them appropriate ways to express their will in the world.
Jill Doneen Clifton
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www.LandscapeOfMothers.com