I wonder if the fact that she ran up $42k in consumer debt has anything to do with why he feels the need to keep money hidden from her... He probably knows that she'll drain the savings to pay off this debt and then just turn around and run the credit cards up again
@@annad5130”their” at the age of 50ish means it’s mostly her debt.
3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2
It was implied that she was responsible for causing the consumer debt. Separate accounts make sense as a way limit her overspending again. She may be a shopaholic, so he doesn’t want her to abuse him financially.
Been watching for 4 years, and I feel like the quality of responses has really decreased this year. This lady said she was responsible for the consumer debt and has had a revelation that makes her want to go "scorched earth" using the savings that her husband has been accumulating. She doesn't even know that the mortgage doesn't count towards baby step 2. Did Jade or Ken, at any point, ask what she's been doing to drive down her debt or what they make or what the house is worth or why she's talking about the mortgage in step 2? Nope... Without any further information, they decided that a husband who's saving money should hand it over to his wife despite not agreeing with her financial decisions. And if he doesn't let her access that money on a whim, well, that's just abuse. I didn't start following Dave's advice years ago to hear, "Just imagine all the ways he could be harming you..."
@@bobdog90 I think they are not going to address anything else except for the fact that the bank account should be joined and they should be budgeting together. Those things need to be accomplished before addressing the other issues. At least that is how I have seen Dave Ramsey and the Dave Ramsey personalities handle budgeting
It's because Ramsey teaches married couples to work as a team and get on the same page financially. The process doesn't work if only one person follows the plan and the other person is keeping secrets and doing his own thing. Agree to work as a team first, and then you can deal with the nuts and bolts of this credit card, that personal loan, excessive spending on dinners, etc.
You have no idea what you’re talking about. He’s having her pay off her and HIS debt while he piles away money that IS NOT HER MONEY. He’s simply preparing to leave her once she pays off his debt and he’s rolling in dough OR he doesn’t want her to see that he’s spending it. The reason for a joint account is transparency and accountability.
I don't think you listened very well to the video, because Jade asked her all the appropriate questions that you listed above. 🤦🏽♀️ And they literally told her to chill out on going scorched earth and have a conversation with her hubby and get counseling before working on the finances. Pay attention before commenting.
My wife and I have joint as well as separate accounts. Married 25 years. Zero debt. The only purchases we run by each other are significant ones (multi thousands). We trust each other and are not hiding anything from each other. We both like to have our own slush funds but still handle every thing responsibly. At the point our net worth is approaching $4 million and we owe zero money on anything. Kids colleges are all ready for them to go where ever they want with fully funded 529’s. You can’t say separate accounts don’t work. They can but both partners have to be in together on it honesty wise. I can’t imagine being in a marriage if you couldn’t trust the other person.
Purely separate accounts usually don't work well in the long run. But a mix of joint and individual accounts works well for everybody I know of who has done it that way.
Great set up! As someone who s is yet to marry I take notes! Today I pay off my last bit of studentloan🎉🎉 (only debt I have) one of my goals was to get into marriage debt free!
So many questions not asked here. Where’s Dave when you need him. No one asked why they have $40K in debt, who did the spending, how many credit cards do they have, what’s their income, do they have stuff they can sell?
None of that will matter if they’re not first in same page as a married couple, with full transparency. Dafuq he’s hiding money for? When my husband and I got married we made both our accounts joint accounts… We both have access to everything. If one of us die the other knows what’s up with everything to keep life going, especially since our kids are all below 7yo still…
Separate accounts make sense. Separate accounts create more personal accountability resulting in better money management. Separate accounts also help prevent one spouse from abusing the other financially. It’s a red flag when a spouse wants access via combining everything. Separate accounts make sense. You marry a person, not a bank account.
3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2
There may be other issues here. Maybe she is into gambling, substance abuse , etc. He may want separate accounts for financial security vs her overspending. She may be gaslighting saying she wants access to his money to pay debt.
I thought she did talk to him... and he just said he had it covered. I think she was calling for a little bit of reassurance making sure that she was not overreacting or feeling unjustified in what she already knows in her head
@@Yogastrong908 Over your head. Calling a radio show over lack of communication with your spouse over financial circumstances is pretty Jerry Springerish.
@@JustinCase780 No, it's over YOUR head. You just don't understand that when one is unable to solve a problem internally, it makes sense to reach out for help.
@@jimroscovius wonderful! We did have a paid off house. We decided 2 years ago to be closer to our grandkids with a new one on the way. To do this meant a new mortgage, however, we dumped the profit from the other house into this one, this house came with 3 acres, a pool plenty of space for company for kiddos to visit and in it will be paid off in 2 more years. We do not mess around and I’m sure the bank hates us! Haha we both still work, in our 50’s, work from home.
@donnapeterson1945 That's awesome!! We're in our mid-60s. My wife still works full-time and I work part-time. We have a good retirement saved up, plus we'll have Social Insecurity 🤣 Paying off our house, having no debt for years, and paying cash for cars have greatly improved our lives. We've been married 42 years, and our kids live in the same city. It's a great life!!
Not wanting a joint account doesn’t always have to be trauma related. My late hubby and I always had 4 accounts. A joint checking & savings and we both had our own individual checking accounts. And if I get married again, I want it the same way. 😀
I have a small business and I wanted to link it to my husbands checking account so it would basically be a joint one… he made a VERY good point “ if the website got hacked and the bank account got hacked it wouldn’t work right” so I keep my business account separate BUT we have a joint savings
There's more to this story. She's talking about how it's their debt but then states that she pays for it but it isn't hers. She states that he wants her to pay it off because it's her debt. Someone is lying and it's not very clear who it is. This is a conversation that they BOTH need to be a part of. The fact that it's just her telling the story is the red flag. There's probably a reason that he's keeping the money from her. Either it's because of her or because of a previous marriage. I think the therapy is a good idea, lets get them both together to find out why this is the situation. There's more to this whole story than we can tell from this call.
@RalphNorton-x9p Has nothing to do with being all in. It has to do with protecting Both of them from herself and her bad habits. It's his responsibility as the head of the household to keep their family safe, financially as well.
@@RalphNorton-x9p ...and by keeping her hand out the cookie jar. In seven years she has already proven she can't be trusted with the keys to the kingdom. What better way to incentivize earning that trust back than to hold the HIS life savings that he had before, in safe keeping until she learns to control her debt and spending. As soon as she touches that money, it's gone. She even said he communicated with her that if she needs help with HER debt, he'll help.
Financial transparency is HUGE within a marriage. It's so interesting how money decisions can uncover deeper issues. So thankful for this advice. I would definitely dig a little deeper. I would definitely be concerned.
It's also the fastest way to remain in debt and to start the end of a relationship because of resentment because you can no longer do the "little thing" that bring you enjoyment.
@@TheREALOC1972that has nothing to do with this. Having a joint account doesn’t mean you can’t spend. It means that you can’t overspend without accountability
If you can’t even show your wife a balance statement on your account, then yeah, that’s a red flag. I’m a married man, and I would never hide that from my wife, and vice versa. This isn’t a gender issue.
No, it's not always the man's fault. They've chastised women. The issue is that some people like you blow a gasket at the suggestion men aren't perfect.
How is it controlling and abusive for him to advise his wife to keep her own money?
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Well said.Separate accounts make sense, That’s not abusive. In fact separate accounts actually help prevent one spouse from abusing the other. financially. She may have a bad track record with money or a history as a gambler, gold digger , shopaholic, or substance abuser. If she wants access to HIS money then that’s a red flag. You marry a person, not a bank account.
Curious how much he makes and how much she makes, he wants her to pay off the consumer debt but she wants them to do it together? He’s paying the mortgage; just curious their incomes
He’s not paying off the mortgage, just making the payments at this time. Doesn’t mean she’s not expected to pay half the mortgage when she’s done paying off consumer debt
Oof, they are missing so many questions and just immediately sided with her. The caller was just fishing for support for her side and justifying herself. "Red flag" is sooo cliche. What about all her red flags....what's the consumer debt in? Seeing more and more of these where the husband gets jumped all over as the bad guy immediately. Disappointed.
He has an account that pays the mortgage and another account that pays for emergencies like car maintenance. Meanwhile she handles the ‘consumer’ bills and has racked up $40K in debt. He’s telling her to get her shit together. What’s wrong with that? Ken and Jade didn’t even try to figure out what was going on. However I do agree with Ken and Jade that they have marriage problems.
How are you “good at paying the bills” but also racked up $40k in consumer debt? Was it all him? If it was her, then his separate emergency fund is probably damage control Edit: given that he is tasked with paying the mortgage and she is tasked with paying the consumer debt, I’d guess the consumer debt is mostly her’s
Yeah they really did a crappy job of getting to the bottom of... anything. Even though John is the therapist, these two jump straight past finances and start playing couple's counselor with half the story.
I wouldn’t assume that because we don’t know how old these debts are. Some might predate the marriage. If their cars are paid for I are reluctant to think their consumer debt is entirely credit cards because she would have likely said credit cards specifically. I think there is a loan in the mix, maybe personal or student.
Sounds like he knows if she gets control of the emergency fund. It's gone. No time did she say that she has ever saver any money. She is a spender. He is keeping the family out of debt.
That's usually how it works. There is always one who is a spender and one who is a saver. The saver is generally dogged on in this show because it usually is the man.
10000000% correct, combining finances is the fastest and easiest way for BOTH of them to get into debt. My wife and I have never combined finances nor debt, Our Mantra is "IF I can't afford it on my own then WE can't afford it", a couple years ago my wife wanted to buy a new car, she was like 30 bucks short per month of being able to afford the one she wanted, I was more than happy to make up that 30 bucks, first because she deserved to have the car she wanted and 2nd we live 5 ish hours away from our hometowns and when we go back we drive and take her car, it's better on gas plus has the creature comforts that my daily driver 74 Nova doesn't, and she said "absolutely not, that's not how we agreed for this to work" so she got the same car just at a lower trim level so she could easily afford it. THAT is how a marriage is supposed to work, Marriage is 50-50 not 50+50. Had we combined our finances she would have bought that car or maybe even a more expensive one and put us BOTH in debt, for HER debt.
@@kennethwers Jade asked her what her husband said when she brought up both of them being on the account. She said his response was I'll take care of it
Could she ask her husband to show her a statement of the emergency account. That way she can see its current balance and transactions in and out. He still has control which he wants and she at least can see what's been happening?
When women do this it's okay. When men do it it's a red flag. He needs to say no. That's a complete sentence. Always have to look into things he just wants his own account. No is a complete sentence.
I have my own checking account as well as a high interest savings account. I don't plan on getting married again but if I ever did then the savings account will only be in my name. It's an emergency fund for my townhome and isn't to be touched unless absolutely necessary. Having a joint bank account again would also be really difficult for me to agree to so I'll most likely remain single.
If, as she says, the emergency fund is in an account SHE CAN'T ACCESS, how the flip is she supposed to use it if the emergency involves his death or incapacitation??? I bet the "emergency fund" is 25 cents and a boxtop. She needs to get on top of this NOW, before something hits the fan!
@@ladydamiana6841 pretty sure you can fix that by giving her POA that takes effect in the event of his incapacity and making her beneficiary on the account if he passes. If she's racked up 40K in debt, then he's right to be wary & deny her access to the account when he's alive & well
this is the part no one thinks about. I hope she is at the very least, the beneficiary of accts and life insurance policies. she might still have to go through courts though because she doesnt have joint tenancy with rights of survivorship on things
Guys, if her husband brags about how well she pays things off, or however she said it, she can be trusted. No one brags about someone they don’t trust. She sounds timid/passive, which is why he was able to disregard her desire to combine their finances. This is a red flag, but fixable.
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Strange. My husband and I have a joint account for house bills and we each have cash in our original checking accounts for fun stuff that we want for ourselves like candy or to pay for a date night when we want to treat each other or just a gift because “I thought about how much you’d love this”. I’ll admit though, we have access to every account, including the individual ones and the HYSA one too. There’s a deeper issue here than just paying debt. If this 40K is all hers though, she’s gotta pay that all off.
Theirs nothing wrong with 2 separate checking accounts. You matter most. Always need your back up plan and a private savings. Nothing wrong with putting you first and understanding that for your spouse.
My wife and I have separate credit cards and accounts we use for daily stuff, investing, etc. etc. Almost all accounts are joint accounts, except when that is legally not possible, like certain registered savings accounts that we have here in Canada. Note we trust each other completely but having separate accounts is something we both feel most comfortable with and we are together for more than 30 years. Every couple is different and how to choose to structure financial assets is something you have to find a way that works for both. In the case of the caller maybe husband can keep his account(s) separate for his own discretion to use, but make it a joint account so she can access in case of emergency. Or rmay be some other compromise can be found. Having separate finances in a marriage is definitely not always a red flag.
My husband and i have been together for 8.5 years kept our accounts separate but recently we went ahead and made each other beneficiary of one another. This works out cause he gave me his credit card for emergency and we trust one another to not spend beyond our means. We keep things separate incase of the off chance of something insane happening, plus if anything happens we have funds for waiting out legal issue.
This OBSESSION with not combining finances 100% instead of working on paying the debt off shows how their religion makes them stray from good financial advice.
Every situation is different, and I am glad to see Jade asking all the probing questions. For my family, I started a business that got into credit card trouble. One of the companies got a judgement against me and took EVERYTHING from any bank account with my name on it. This included an account I shared with my middle school daughter to help her learn finances. After they ALSO drained her account, she did not speak to me for a long time. Everyone has separate accounts now. 😒
@ykook7000 It was very hard, but now I am completely debt free, living a very comfortable life, retired with my wife, in Northeastern Brazil with a completely paid for Assisted Living Compound my wife created with three handicapped accessible one floor houses, paid for Sedan and a host of staff to look after us and maintain the property. We don’t just come back from misfortune, we succeed and soar.😎
You set up your baby girl's account 'to teach her about finances'??? She accidentally learned a lot of Big lessons here...and none were positive. You were Well aware of your business financials Well before "A company" took you to court. Your "business" didn't get into credit card trouble. You got into credit card trouble without caring if your accounts were ultimately drained due to your poor management and lack of responsibility... to include your daughter's account. She's Rightfully pissed at you! Get your "Stuff" together and Pay Her Back for the money your behavior robbed from her! And use it as the priceless teaching moment it is. Creating an account for your baby girl with good intentions is admirable. Having it robbed due to your behavior and irresponsibility is solely on you.
@@truthseeker6370 Well, I have a very, very good life now so this is my last reply to something that happened decades ago... The credit card company went out of business and the debt was purchased at auction with no notification. If it makes you happy you can rehash a situation that you were not involved in or have any knowledge of... I have since moved on and as I said am very, very successful now.... I suggest you move on to too, unless this is a thing with you. Live is too short to spend quality time throwing shade at a stranger's situation that has long, i mean long past gone... Knock yourself out, but my desert is being served, and I have to go. CHOW😎
This caller and her spouse have baggage. Most men get cleared out in a marriage and then guard and hoard money. You have to agree to save and spend together.
Maybe full-on marriage is just not for him and doesn’t want to be wholly “owned” by her. But he should have thought of that before getting married. They could have chosen to “live in sin” as two single-ish people.
@ good points. I’ve been married to my first wife for over 20 years. She had some financial red flags before we got married. We both grew up poor and carried different baggage because of it. We talked about it and found ways to agree and compromise. I helped her resolve some past credit issues and we both run 825+ credit scores to this day. We never blended our finances after those red flags, but we did agree to what would work for us to both be happy. Never had a fight about money in 20 years.
Transparency is key and being on the same page. Either both have access to everything or each spouse has their own money with a 3rd joint account that’s shared.
@ yeah, if you already agreed to the rules of the game of how you’re living life together there should be no going back years later to switching the rules unless both agree to do so. Unless it involves a crime being committed or some form of provable abuse. Assuming that’s not the case? She made the bed now lay in it or attempt your luck in divorce if she really feels it’s a deal breaker. Since she’s female and depending on the state she may get half anyway.
@ my wife and I have our own accounts that we had prior to our relationship. We have a joint checking that’s shared that we use for home expenses, things involving our child, etc. mutual interest….but we still have our own as well and will help the other if/when necessary. We both know roughly what the other has without having access to each other’s individual accounts. I like it that way.
Honestly I'm not seeing the big deal but I guess I don't know enough. They have a joint account in which they pay bills. He then takes a small portion of his own check and puts it in a separate account for emergencies, buy Christmas, birthday gifts etc... I'm not seeing the issue.
Once that money goes into his account from there it can go to a hidden addiction or another woman or anything. It's a complete mystery. In a marriage you need complete transparency
She's not even allowed to know how much money is in that account. He's obviously cheating and hiding it with this account that she does not have access to.
@@kylegustafson6088 I disagree, it's HIS money, My wife and I have never combined finances, there were several reasons but the main reason was as long as the bills got paid her money was hers and my money was mine. The EASIEST way to get into debt as a couple is to combine finances and find that "extra" couple of bucks to be able afford something, our Mantra was "IF I can't afford it on my own then WE can't afford it". IF one of us wants to buy something and is $35 short a month on her own but I have $50 extra then "WE" simply can't afford it. Combining finances is the FASTEST and EASIEST way for you BOTH to get into debt.
It's a red flag and a "controlling effort" to not have access to his emergency account!? I'm not a fan of their approach BUT perhaps she can start working on her own emergency account.
What a drag! The husband has reservations about the wife blowing through the money on his account. How did he come to that conclusion, though? Also, skip therapy and just do an amicable divorce if you decide to go down that route.
Its fine for them to both have their own accounts. Husband and i do the same and we periodically share our accounts on our computer once a month to see how we're doing. Neither of us has access to those accounts... And thats fine. We are each noted as inheriting any accounts should anything happen. We have a shared money market together but everything is our own otherwise. Its so important to have your own finances and to be transparent with those with your partner.
Sooo... has consumer debt. But didn't really complain about struggles with money.. sooo your complaint just to complain because you don't have control of all the money... useless complaint. Just be happy and continue to work on your debt.
Access to the account is not necessary. Only a promise and visibility! Husband promises the money is indeed the emergency fund and agrees to show monthly statements. The rest is feminist garbage! The trust issue is the wife, not the Husband. These people don't understand masculinity at all. Every man has that one thing they have to control. It's unfortunate it's money in this case, but it happens. If the wife has love and trust for her husband then worries about this account would never have happened in the first place.
I wonder if the fact that she ran up $42k in consumer debt has anything to do with why he feels the need to keep money hidden from her...
He probably knows that she'll drain the savings to pay off this debt and then just turn around and run the credit cards up again
No where did she say it was her debt. She said it’s their debt and she’s the one paying it off
@@annad5130 My guess is that it is all her debt.
@@annad5130”their” at the age of 50ish means it’s mostly her debt.
It was implied that she was responsible for causing the consumer debt. Separate accounts make sense as a way limit her overspending again. She may be a shopaholic, so he doesn’t want her to abuse him financially.
They asked if she was a shopper or had been and she said the husband brags on her financial skills.
Been watching for 4 years, and I feel like the quality of responses has really decreased this year. This lady said she was responsible for the consumer debt and has had a revelation that makes her want to go "scorched earth" using the savings that her husband has been accumulating. She doesn't even know that the mortgage doesn't count towards baby step 2. Did Jade or Ken, at any point, ask what she's been doing to drive down her debt or what they make or what the house is worth or why she's talking about the mortgage in step 2? Nope... Without any further information, they decided that a husband who's saving money should hand it over to his wife despite not agreeing with her financial decisions. And if he doesn't let her access that money on a whim, well, that's just abuse. I didn't start following Dave's advice years ago to hear, "Just imagine all the ways he could be harming you..."
@@bobdog90 I think they are not going to address anything else except for the fact that the bank account should be joined and they should be budgeting together. Those things need to be accomplished before addressing the other issues. At least that is how I have seen Dave Ramsey and the Dave Ramsey personalities handle budgeting
It's because Ramsey teaches married couples to work as a team and get on the same page financially. The process doesn't work if only one person follows the plan and the other person is keeping secrets and doing his own thing. Agree to work as a team first, and then you can deal with the nuts and bolts of this credit card, that personal loan, excessive spending on dinners, etc.
You have no idea what you’re talking about. He’s having her pay off her and HIS debt while he piles away money that IS NOT HER MONEY. He’s simply preparing to leave her once she pays off his debt and he’s rolling in dough OR he doesn’t want her to see that he’s spending it. The reason for a joint account is transparency and accountability.
I don't think you listened very well to the video, because Jade asked her all the appropriate questions that you listed above. 🤦🏽♀️
And they literally told her to chill out on going scorched earth and have a conversation with her hubby and get counseling before working on the finances. Pay attention before commenting.
@@annad5130your projecting, hope your relationship gets better
My wife and I have joint as well as separate accounts. Married 25 years. Zero debt. The only purchases we run by each other are significant ones (multi thousands). We trust each other and are not hiding anything from each other. We both like to have our own slush funds but still handle every thing responsibly. At the point our net worth is approaching $4 million and we owe zero money on anything. Kids colleges are all ready for them to go where ever they want with fully funded 529’s. You can’t say separate accounts don’t work. They can but both partners have to be in together on it honesty wise. I can’t imagine being in a marriage if you couldn’t trust the other person.
Same set up and are 41 years happily married.
Purely separate accounts usually don't work well in the long run. But a mix of joint and individual accounts works well for everybody I know of who has done it that way.
Great set up! As someone who s is yet to marry I take notes! Today I pay off my last bit of studentloan🎉🎉 (only debt I have) one of my goals was to get into marriage debt free!
@@missrd395Congratulations!
So many questions not asked here. Where’s Dave when you need him. No one asked why they have $40K in debt, who did the spending, how many credit cards do they have, what’s their income, do they have stuff they can sell?
None of that will matter if they’re not first in same page as a married couple, with full transparency. Dafuq he’s hiding money for? When my husband and I got married we made both our accounts joint accounts… We both have access to everything. If one of us die the other knows what’s up with everything to keep life going, especially since our kids are all below 7yo still…
@@sw6155Good point!
Separate accounts make sense. Separate accounts create more personal accountability resulting in better money management. Separate accounts also help prevent one spouse from abusing the other financially.
It’s a red flag when a spouse wants access via combining everything. Separate accounts make sense. You marry a person, not a bank account.
There may be other issues here. Maybe she is into gambling, substance abuse , etc. He may want separate accounts for financial security vs her overspending. She may be gaslighting saying she wants access to his money to pay debt.
Why talk with your spouse when you can call the show?
Sounds like she already tried that.
I thought she did talk to him... and he just said he had it covered. I think she was calling for a little bit of reassurance making sure that she was not overreacting or feeling unjustified in what she already knows in her head
@@Yogastrong908 Over your head. Calling a radio show over lack of communication with your spouse over financial circumstances is pretty Jerry Springerish.
@@JustinCase780 No, it's over YOUR head. You just don't understand that when one is unable to solve a problem internally, it makes sense to reach out for help.
Married for 23 years, together for 28 years…always separate accounts (except mortgage), it works just fine!
come on, that's like someone who does not drive saying they never crashed a car
I’ve been married almost 40 years, we have joint accounts and have discussions regularly about our money.
Married 7 and i zelle my wife money for the year and its never been an issue. She doesnt need to work and i dont care. Money is absolutely overrated.
Same here. We also have a paid-off house and no debt.
@@jimroscovius wonderful! We did have a paid off house. We decided 2 years ago to be closer to our grandkids with a new one on the way. To do this meant a new mortgage, however, we dumped the profit from the other house into this one, this house came with 3 acres, a pool plenty of space for company for kiddos to visit and in it will be paid off in 2 more years. We do not mess around and I’m sure the bank hates us! Haha we both still work, in our 50’s, work from home.
@donnapeterson1945 That's awesome!! We're in our mid-60s. My wife still works full-time and I work part-time. We have a good retirement saved up, plus we'll have Social Insecurity 🤣 Paying off our house, having no debt for years, and paying cash for cars have greatly improved our lives. We've been married 42 years, and our kids live in the same city. It's a great life!!
Not wanting a joint account doesn’t always have to be trauma related. My late hubby and I always had 4 accounts. A joint checking & savings and we both had our own individual checking accounts. And if I get married again, I want it the same way. 😀
Same with my husband and I. And we both know how much money there is in each account
@ exactly! And we didn’t have to call Dave Ramsey! 🤣😂🤣😂
I have a small business and I wanted to link it to my husbands checking account so it would basically be a joint one… he made a VERY good point “ if the website got hacked and the bank account got hacked it wouldn’t work right” so I keep my business account separate BUT we have a joint savings
But you had a joint account (plus individual accounts), so you don't count as "not wanting a joint account".
@@megalodon1726 right
There's more to this story. She's talking about how it's their debt but then states that she pays for it but it isn't hers. She states that he wants her to pay it off because it's her debt. Someone is lying and it's not very clear who it is. This is a conversation that they BOTH need to be a part of. The fact that it's just her telling the story is the red flag. There's probably a reason that he's keeping the money from her. Either it's because of her or because of a previous marriage. I think the therapy is a good idea, lets get them both together to find out why this is the situation. There's more to this whole story than we can tell from this call.
Maybe he doesn't want to combine accounts because she ran up $40k of debt and has proven to be a financial disaster all on her own?
then don't get married. marriage is all in
@RalphNorton-x9p Has nothing to do with being all in. It has to do with protecting Both of them from herself and her bad habits. It's his responsibility as the head of the household to keep their family safe, financially as well.
@@XennialGuy that is done by communicating with the spouse and helping them change their bad habits, by working as a fully integrated team
@@RalphNorton-x9p ...and by keeping her hand out the cookie jar. In seven years she has already proven she can't be trusted with the keys to the kingdom. What better way to incentivize earning that trust back than to hold the HIS life savings that he had before, in safe keeping until she learns to control her debt and spending. As soon as she touches that money, it's gone. She even said he communicated with her that if she needs help with HER debt, he'll help.
Financial transparency is HUGE within a marriage. It's so interesting how money decisions can uncover deeper issues. So thankful for this advice. I would definitely dig a little deeper. I would definitely be concerned.
I agree
same
I wish I had dug deeper. I was so clueless.
It's also the fastest way to remain in debt and to start the end of a relationship because of resentment because you can no longer do the "little thing" that bring you enjoyment.
@@TheREALOC1972that has nothing to do with this. Having a joint account doesn’t mean you can’t spend. It means that you can’t overspend without accountability
Why is it always the man’s fault with these people? Grow up and act like adults !
That’s the central mantra of the Ramsey Simpin’ Solutions Team.
I bet she brings in most of the debt and he doesn’t want anything to do with it 😂 He’s only trying to pay for necessities.
If you can’t even show your wife a balance statement on your account, then yeah, that’s a red flag. I’m a married man, and I would never hide that from my wife, and vice versa. This isn’t a gender issue.
You obviously have not watched enough episodes.
No, it's not always the man's fault. They've chastised women. The issue is that some people like you blow a gasket at the suggestion men aren't perfect.
How is it controlling and abusive for him to advise his wife to keep her own money?
Well said.Separate accounts make sense, That’s not abusive. In fact separate accounts actually help prevent one spouse from abusing the other. financially.
She may have a bad track record with money or a history as a gambler, gold digger , shopaholic, or substance abuser. If she wants access to HIS money then that’s a red flag. You marry a person, not a bank account.
Curious how much he makes and how much she makes, he wants her to pay off the consumer debt but she wants them to do it together? He’s paying the mortgage; just curious their incomes
He’s not paying off the mortgage, just making the payments at this time. Doesn’t mean she’s not expected to pay half the mortgage when she’s done paying off consumer debt
Oof, they are missing so many questions and just immediately sided with her. The caller was just fishing for support for her side and justifying herself. "Red flag" is sooo cliche. What about all her red flags....what's the consumer debt in? Seeing more and more of these where the husband gets jumped all over as the bad guy immediately. Disappointed.
They always do it.
@@Joe-is3xr Yep. It's always the mans fault on this show.
He has an account that pays the mortgage and another account that pays for emergencies like car maintenance. Meanwhile she handles the ‘consumer’ bills and has racked up $40K in debt. He’s telling her to get her shit together. What’s wrong with that? Ken and Jade didn’t even try to figure out what was going on. However I do agree with Ken and Jade that they have marriage problems.
How are you “good at paying the bills” but also racked up $40k in consumer debt? Was it all him? If it was her, then his separate emergency fund is probably damage control
Edit: given that he is tasked with paying the mortgage and she is tasked with paying the consumer debt, I’d guess the consumer debt is mostly her’s
Yeah they really did a crappy job of getting to the bottom of... anything. Even though John is the therapist, these two jump straight past finances and start playing couple's counselor with half the story.
@@bobdog90 It's always somehow the mans fault with Dave and company.
I wouldn’t assume that because we don’t know how old these debts are. Some might predate the marriage. If their cars are paid for I are reluctant to think their consumer debt is entirely credit cards because she would have likely said credit cards specifically. I think there is a loan in the mix, maybe personal or student.
Jade barely looks 18, let alone married for 18 years. Such a beauty, classy, and brilliant lady 💙
I mean she looks good but doesn't look 18 😂
@ykook7000 A slight exaggeration on my part 🤣😂 But most 18 year olds don't look as amazing as her.
I know, right? I love her style. I've been taking notes. Who know an online financial guru would become a style icon! 😊❤
Sounds like he knows if she gets control of the emergency fund. It's gone. No time did she say that she has ever saver any money. She is a spender. He is keeping the family out of debt.
That's usually how it works. There is always one who is a spender and one who is a saver. The saver is generally dogged on in this show because it usually is the man.
10000000% correct, combining finances is the fastest and easiest way for BOTH of them to get into debt. My wife and I have never combined finances nor debt, Our Mantra is "IF I can't afford it on my own then WE can't afford it", a couple years ago my wife wanted to buy a new car, she was like 30 bucks short per month of being able to afford the one she wanted, I was more than happy to make up that 30 bucks, first because she deserved to have the car she wanted and 2nd we live 5 ish hours away from our hometowns and when we go back we drive and take her car, it's better on gas plus has the creature comforts that my daily driver 74 Nova doesn't, and she said "absolutely not, that's not how we agreed for this to work" so she got the same car just at a lower trim level so she could easily afford it. THAT is how a marriage is supposed to work, Marriage is 50-50 not 50+50. Had we combined our finances she would have bought that car or maybe even a more expensive one and put us BOTH in debt, for HER debt.
@@kennethwers Jade asked her what her husband said when she brought up both of them being on the account. She said his response was I'll take care of it
Ken cut it short. He was ready to go to lunch.
😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Could she ask her husband to show her a statement of the emergency account. That way she can see its current balance and transactions in and out. He still has control which he wants and she at least can see what's been happening?
True
40K all yours? That's the only thing that is important here. If you racked it up then you pay it off
It doesn’t say. But she does say that “we have 42k in consumer debt”
@@annad5130 *we* have debt, not *he* has debt. That's telling lol
Adaxum’s ecosystem is one of the most impressive I’ve seen. Locked in my position today.
Hard to watch these without Dave laying down the hard truths!
When women do this it's okay. When men do it it's a red flag.
He needs to say no. That's a complete sentence. Always have to look into things he just wants his own account. No is a complete sentence.
You do cry a lot in Ramsey's comment section. Your mom rejecting you really hurt you.
Trust me when she goes for a divorce “no” isn’t going to fly. And that’s where he’s headed if he keeps lying to her.
@Yogastrong908 Yeah he shouldn't of told her about his private accounts. That's what the women do they never tell you about their secret accounts.
@@GAFB1122 Funny cause don't you always support the wives having their own money and secret accounts. Rules for thee and not for me huh?
Have you been watching ? Its does not matter who, they are consistent on the combined accounts. Just come out and say you don't like women.
The Adaxum project has some strong points. Took a position while the presale is still open.
Jade asked the question, were there prior issues or any reason why he wants this to be separate. Answer the question for Pete’s sake my god.
Mentioned spring chickens. Ken knows what he's having for dinner now.
What is it with younger couples and their separate accounts?! Unheard of in my large circles of 40+ years married. 😮
The husband is stashing away just in case or when I leave you money.
Finally paying off my HELOC today!!!
Congrats 👏👏👏
I have my own checking account as well as a high interest savings account. I don't plan on getting married again but if I ever did then the savings account will only be in my name. It's an emergency fund for my townhome and isn't to be touched unless absolutely necessary. Having a joint bank account again would also be really difficult for me to agree to so I'll most likely remain single.
If, as she says, the emergency fund is in an account SHE CAN'T ACCESS, how the flip is she supposed to use it if the emergency involves his death or incapacitation??? I bet the "emergency fund" is 25 cents and a boxtop. She needs to get on top of this NOW, before something hits the fan!
@@ladydamiana6841 pretty sure you can fix that by giving her POA that takes effect in the event of his incapacity and making her beneficiary on the account if he passes. If she's racked up 40K in debt, then he's right to be wary & deny her access to the account when he's alive & well
this is the part no one thinks about. I hope she is at the very least, the beneficiary of accts and life insurance policies. she might still have to go through courts though because she doesnt have joint tenancy with rights of survivorship on things
Guys, if her husband brags about how well she pays things off, or however she said it, she can be trusted. No one brags about someone they don’t trust. She sounds timid/passive, which is why he was able to disregard her desire to combine their finances. This is a red flag, but fixable.
This year I have experienced more gains than losses in the crypto/stock market, thanks to some knowledge I acquired from my financial advisor. I have managed to flip the market
I have seen something like this on countless videos and i find it misleading. I do not trust most advisors as the last time I did, it didn't end well
I totally understand, i have seen this too but before working with anyone you need to do your research, possibly meet them in person, my financial adviser is Gabriel Alberto William , he is not just a broker, he is a financial adviser that gives advice on any financial matters not just on stocks or crypto
Okay, how do I get in touch with him?
look his name up online, please do your research, he is very good at what he does and has been in various financial market interviews
She sounds like a red flag. Not really answering their questions, instead providing a non-answer.
Jade has been married 18 years? How old is she?
With Adaxum’s strong fundamentals, it’s only a matter of time before ADX becomes a household name.
he's planning to leave her and they're not telling her that.
This is more of a marriage problem than a financial problem.
Jade been married 18 years!!! When did she get married? When she was 15?!
Strange. My husband and I have a joint account for house bills and we each have cash in our original checking accounts for fun stuff that we want for ourselves like candy or to pay for a date night when we want to treat each other or just a gift because “I thought about how much you’d love this”.
I’ll admit though, we have access to every account, including the individual ones and the HYSA one too.
There’s a deeper issue here than just paying debt. If this 40K is all hers though, she’s gotta pay that all off.
Theirs nothing wrong with 2 separate checking accounts. You matter most. Always need your back up plan and a private savings. Nothing wrong with putting you first and understanding that for your spouse.
I’ve been married for 45 years and we’ve never had separate accounts .
I’ve been married for 8 years and me my wife have separate accounts cause she likes to spend a lot, and I’m the opposite, I like to save and invest.
Question: Trump and Melania have created cryto coins. Does ANYONE know if these things are a good idea to buy?
Both vehicles are paid off, but they have $42,000 in consumer debt. Did they buy all their furniture from Rent-a-Center?
SHe can ask nicely but she cant demand him to join account or reveal what he has, everyone deserves privacy
ADX is a hidden gem right now, but it won’t be for long. Locked in my position early in the presale!
Jade is Beautiful- ‘Nuff Said
If you’re not in the Adaxum presale yet, you might regret missing out.
My wife and I have separate credit cards and accounts we use for daily stuff, investing, etc. etc. Almost all accounts are joint accounts, except when that is legally not possible, like certain registered savings accounts that we have here in Canada. Note we trust each other completely but having separate accounts is something we both feel most comfortable with and we are together for more than 30 years.
Every couple is different and how to choose to structure financial assets is something you have to find a way that works for both. In the case of the caller maybe husband can keep his account(s) separate for his own discretion to use, but make it a joint account so she can access in case of emergency. Or rmay be some other compromise can be found.
Having separate finances in a marriage is definitely not always a red flag.
You are correct but sometimes it does make it harder.
Feeling cautiously optimistic about Adaxum’s potential. Got my ADX tokens today.
My husband and i have been together for 8.5 years kept our accounts separate but recently we went ahead and made each other beneficiary of one another. This works out cause he gave me his credit card for emergency and we trust one another to not spend beyond our means. We keep things separate incase of the off chance of something insane happening, plus if anything happens we have funds for waiting out legal issue.
BS
I will always keep mine over here and hers over then. What do that mean for me?
He’s saving up for the divorce lawyers so he can get rid of her. She can keep her debt.
Projects like Adaxum don’t come around often. Secured my ADX tokens before the presale sells out!
Him having his own money is not a red flag.
You can have your own account, and a joint account.
He's hiding it from her because he's cheating. That's why she's not allowed to even see the account.
@@autumnjerene Stop being a simp, and assuming he is cheating.
With Adaxum’s ambitious goals, this is a project worth watching.
In your opinion, XAI633K for $10? 1 year or so?
If whales are eyeing Adaxum, that’s a bullish sign. Joined the presale today!
Ugh i miss Dave when he isnt on. He would have asked more questions about that consumer debt, who accumulated it, and was it covertly done..
0:09 Ken is Drinking his Dutch Brothers Mocha
This OBSESSION with not combining finances 100% instead of working on paying the debt off shows how their religion makes them stray from good financial advice.
Every situation is different, and I am glad to see Jade asking all the probing questions. For my family, I started a business that got into credit card trouble. One of the companies got a judgement against me and took EVERYTHING from any bank account with my name on it. This included an account I shared with my middle school daughter to help her learn finances. After they ALSO drained her account, she did not speak to me for a long time. Everyone has separate accounts now. 😒
Well you learnt the hard way didn't you that was all on you "got in credit card trouble" interesting way to word it
Not a lot of accountability going on.
@ykook7000 It was very hard, but now I am completely debt free, living a very comfortable life, retired with my wife, in Northeastern Brazil with a completely paid for Assisted Living Compound my wife created with three handicapped accessible one floor houses, paid for Sedan and a host of staff to look after us and maintain the property. We don’t just come back from misfortune, we succeed and soar.😎
You set up your baby girl's account 'to teach her about finances'??? She accidentally learned a lot of Big lessons here...and none were positive.
You were Well aware of your business financials Well before "A company" took you to court. Your "business" didn't get into credit card trouble. You got into credit card trouble without caring if your accounts were ultimately drained due to your poor management and lack of responsibility... to include your daughter's account. She's Rightfully pissed at you! Get your "Stuff" together and Pay Her Back for the money your behavior robbed from her! And use it as the priceless teaching moment it is.
Creating an account for your baby girl with good intentions is admirable. Having it robbed due to your behavior and irresponsibility is solely on you.
@@truthseeker6370 Well, I have a very, very good life now so this is my last reply to something that happened decades ago... The credit card company went out of business and the debt was purchased at auction with no notification. If it makes you happy you can rehash a situation that you were not involved in or have any knowledge of... I have since moved on and as I said am very, very successful now.... I suggest you move on to too, unless this is a thing with you. Live is too short to spend quality time throwing shade at a stranger's situation that has long, i mean long past gone... Knock yourself out, but my desert is being served, and I have to go. CHOW😎
This caller and her spouse have baggage. Most men get cleared out in a marriage and then guard and hoard money. You have to agree to save and spend together.
Maybe full-on marriage is just not for him and doesn’t want to be wholly “owned” by her. But he should have thought of that before getting married. They could have chosen to “live in sin” as two single-ish people.
@ good points. I’ve been married to my first wife for over 20 years. She had some financial red flags before we got married. We both grew up poor and carried different baggage because of it. We talked about it and found ways to agree and compromise. I helped her resolve some past credit issues and we both run 825+ credit scores to this day. We never blended our finances after those red flags, but we did agree to what would work for us to both be happy. Never had a fight about money in 20 years.
Jade doesn't look old enough to be married 18 years! 😮
The Adaxum presale is filling up fast, and it’s easy to see why. This project is a game-changer!
Transparency is key and being on the same page. Either both have access to everything or each spouse has their own money with a 3rd joint account that’s shared.
Yeah, they agreed to their previous system. Now she's had a change of heart and wants to know what he's done with his third.
@ yeah, if you already agreed to the rules of the game of how you’re living life together there should be no going back years later to switching the rules unless both agree to do so.
Unless it involves a crime being committed or some form of provable abuse. Assuming that’s not the case? She made the bed now lay in it or attempt your luck in divorce if she really feels it’s a deal breaker. Since she’s female and depending on the state she may get half anyway.
@ my wife and I have our own accounts that we had prior to our relationship. We have a joint checking that’s shared that we use for home expenses, things involving our child, etc. mutual interest….but we still have our own as well and will help the other if/when necessary. We both know roughly what the other has without having access to each other’s individual accounts. I like it that way.
Honestly I'm not seeing the big deal but I guess I don't know enough. They have a joint account in which they pay bills. He then takes a small portion of his own check and puts it in a separate account for emergencies, buy Christmas, birthday gifts etc... I'm not seeing the issue.
Once that money goes into his account from there it can go to a hidden addiction or another woman or anything. It's a complete mystery. In a marriage you need complete transparency
It's an issue because Ramsey does not recommend separate accounts. Any deviation from Ramsey principles is "dangerous" and "wrong."
She's not even allowed to know how much money is in that account. He's obviously cheating and hiding it with this account that she does not have access to.
@autumnjerene: Where did you purchase your crystal ball because I desperately need one. 🤣
@@kylegustafson6088 I disagree, it's HIS money, My wife and I have never combined finances, there were several reasons but the main reason was as long as the bills got paid her money was hers and my money was mine. The EASIEST way to get into debt as a couple is to combine finances and find that "extra" couple of bucks to be able afford something, our Mantra was "IF I can't afford it on my own then WE can't afford it". IF one of us wants to buy something and is $35 short a month on her own but I have $50 extra then "WE" simply can't afford it. Combining finances is the FASTEST and EASIEST way for you BOTH to get into debt.
It's a red flag and a "controlling effort" to not have access to his emergency account!? I'm not a fan of their approach BUT perhaps she can start working on her own emergency account.
He pays the mortgage and she pays the rest? She has way more money expenses
What a drag! The husband has reservations about the wife blowing through the money on his account. How did he come to that conclusion, though?
Also, skip therapy and just do an amicable divorce if you decide to go down that route.
Adaxum’s presale bonuses are a great incentive for early investors. Locked in my ADX tokens today!
It looks XAI633K is in right position.
Adaxum is a project that stands out from the crowd. Glad I joined the presale early!
With Adaxum’s ambitious goals, this project has the potential to dominate in 2025. Glad I got in early.
Adaxum: The future is here.
Just checked out Adaxum’s roadmap, and I’m impressed. This project is set to soar in 2025!
Watched the whole video and they didn't really say anything.
Keeping an eye on Adaxum. The project seems promising enough to have potential upside.
the consumer debt is maybe all hers
He's using that emergency account for other things!
Just grabbed my ADX tokens during the Adaxum presale. The future looks bright for this project!
Its fine for them to both have their own accounts. Husband and i do the same and we periodically share our accounts on our computer once a month to see how we're doing. Neither of us has access to those accounts... And thats fine. We are each noted as inheriting any accounts should anything happen.
We have a shared money market together but everything is our own otherwise. Its so important to have your own finances and to be transparent with those with your partner.
It also makes it easy to cheat when you have a separate account.
Why do partners put up with this rubbish?! I would have left.
Adaxum token has everything I look for in a project-real utility, strong vision, and a growing community.
Got into the Adaxum presale early. It feels great to be ahead of the curve on this one.
Adaxum’s E-commerce and DeFi integration could redefine the crypto space. Glad I got in early!
AVP 👽
It's 2:00 / im not sure ill be here / tomorrow , for sure /
Sooo... has consumer debt. But didn't really complain about struggles with money.. sooo your complaint just to complain because you don't have control of all the money... useless complaint. Just be happy and continue to work on your debt.
I'd question if there is ANY money in his "emergency fund." 🤔
I feel like stuff like that is common
Access to the account is not necessary. Only a promise and visibility! Husband promises the money is indeed the emergency fund and agrees to show monthly statements. The rest is feminist garbage! The trust issue is the wife, not the Husband. These people don't understand masculinity at all. Every man has that one thing they have to control. It's unfortunate it's money in this case, but it happens. If the wife has love and trust for her husband then worries about this account would never have happened in the first place.
She’s 100% the problem.
Checking accounts. Set up yours, mine, and our accounts. Give yourselves a small allowance, but everything else goes together to pay down bills.
Smells of a gambling problem to me. - him
Happy with my decision to join the Adaxum presale. Let’s see how it performs in the long run.
Asking his account password, so you can access anytime you want! If he says no, it's not good.
Feeling bullish on Adaxum after joining the presale. This project has everything it needs to succeed.
Got my ADX tokens locked in during the presale-don’t sleep on this one for gains!