My Toxic Relationship with Theatre
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- alexa play "toxic" by brittney spears
HEY FRIENDS! What's up, it's me, Kat Steele & today we're going to be discussing toxic relationships, obsessions with theatre, self confidence, self esteem, and how to love yourself (not just yourself onstage). This video is definitely a little weird and little different from my typical musical theatre audition advice geekery fun time good time, but it's what was on my mind this week. It's something that I wish I had learned earlier in life and something that I hope will help.
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![[กูเพิ่งซื้อมึงปิดหนี] 20 นาที ผมรีวิวเกมที่แย่ที่สุดในโลก CONCORD](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XhC-3q3Ii7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Tea? scolding hot
Katherine? still a queen
Broadway? shook
Hotel? Trivago
isn't it cicero?
Meme? Dead
Do I care? No 😂
This? Extremely overused and annoying
@@sophienice1080 Glad you feel so strongly about this but I really didn't ask for and don't care about your opinion.
@@yeahno4545 Um same
*me immediately seeing the title:* okay that's it, kat's quitting, goodbye cruel world.
never!! I love it too much 💗 just needed to shift my relationship with it
When cult leader Katherine Steele confronts you about your addiction😅
Too real
1. why am i crying?
2. let's get the cult together and throw kat a prom!
Omg 💗💗
Yes! #PromForKat2019
Will we play Show tunes the whole time?
I’d totally get on a plane for that!!
COUNT ME IN!!! May I skype?
*ALEXA PLAY TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS*
"Just because you don't talk about something 24/7 doesn't mean you don't love it!" OMG, that phrase just changed my life.
I know right, no matter how you love something too much can be too much if there isn't much of a balance
Would you do a video about toxic theatre culture? I’m thinking about making one about body shaming in theatre that I’ve experienced
Erin Gassner also casting directors only picking you if they know you
Amber Lebrun frankly that’s not toxic, it’s just casting someone you know and trust.
Dylan Olander for some people auditioning and not being cast because directors play favorites can be very toxic. It was a big issue at my university.
Erin Gassner I mean I guess, but somebody is always gonna be the director’s favorite and it’s the director’s vision and their choice on what they believe the cast should be. Also, above I agree body shaming is terrible and toxic in the theatre community.
Erin Gassner that’s why I quit theatre at my school. If you weren’t a favorite of the directors there was no point in thinking you’d be anything but ensemble if you were even that
Yes please talk more about the hard or toxic parts of our favorite art. It can be easy to bottle everything up to not seem weak and so many people I’ve known will stick with a show when they should’ve left after the first rehearsal (usually because of problems with life outside of theater) because they think “I must do this I can’t leave ever or else people WILL hate me”. It truly is toxic at times.
lol what if i were to tell you that i was in that situation right now and i asked for my friend's opinion on quitting and she said to stay bc if i were to leave it would look like i hated being ensemble and wasn't dedicated but i'm kinda listening to her bc i wanna look dedicated and not full of myself but I ACTUALLY NEED TO QUIT AND HAVE FREE TIME FOR ONCE HAHAHA
alexa how do you retweet a youtube video
As of now cant retweet but can def share on Twitter
“People say if you love your work you’ll never work a day in your life. That’s BS, work will always be work at some points no matter how much you love it. And that’s ok” -Phillip DeFranco
Listen to her. I'm 47 and have been doing professional theatre since I was 7. I've had to take several "breaks" in my life from theatre. I'm actually on one now. I highly suggest that you also either major or minor in something other than theatre in school. Really wish I would have!
“IM A MERMAID ACTOR NOW” aw this is so great hahaha
Also lol, I totally get what you are saying which is why I find it important to make sure I learn to love other things and myself so I can become a better actor and person😘
She does love Sierra Boggess
Aw sameee lol
Who knew a raunchy blood bath of a musical made Kat woke
why did this make me cRy??? Thank you so much for sharing this, I think a lot of people (including me) feel the same way.
♥️♥️♥️
ive never seen anyone sound so normal when theyre actually sick :) feel better sooooooon
I had to miss waitress coming to Baltimore on tour because of my show. I missed Theatre because of theatre.
Wish I could say this wasn’t a true story. But alas....
Broadway _May I have lots of friends who are also actors and we are never able to see each other perform due to rehearsal/performance conflicts...it sucks!
I feel this! I asked my director if I could go see Hamilton since I won lottery and hey wouldn't let me.
Broadway _May You missed on a refreshingly beautiful show
Erin Gassner IKR it sucks ☹️
Manuel Orozco I know I wanted to see it so badly! ☹️
As someone who is in my school’s stage crew, I missed a LOT when I worked on my school’s production of Beauty and the Beast. While it was so much fun, I missed a lot of time with my friends, both inside and outside of school. I also missed all of my other club’s activities. I don’t regret any time I spent on the show, though ❤️ thank you for making such an honest and heartfelt video!
I’m in a production of Beauty and the Beast right now. Neat
Soooooo I'm a music major and my relationship with music is like how you described this. This was definitely a video I needed to see. Thank you so much!
Same here(I'm out of college now but was a music major earlier this decade). Some of the instructors can be very abrasive at times and old fashion. I did put music on hiatus for a few yrs as a result of what you mentioned
Love the shirt and also I have to agree with you about how it’s toxic
awkward turtle turtle I honestly need this shirt
@@kandi756 Can't see the shirt bc of her hair, what does it say? I see croquet mallets so I'm guessing something heathers related lol
Rockie yeah I think it just says Heathers
@@Anna-mz6lx It says How Very
Heathers
Wow I actually needed a video like this Haha thanks kat
My relationship with theatre is a one-sided relationship. I love it but it doesn't love me back. I've taken every opportunity I've ever been given to be in any production but have only been cast into tiny ensemble roles. I've never had the feeling you describe in the video of being "irreplacable", but I hope that someday I will.
Me at the bus sitting next to my best friend:
She: what are you listening to?
Me: Carrie, Heathers,Mean Girls, Six, Fun home
Want to listen?
She: I'm okay thanks
osita sonriente honestly me too
Finally, another Six fan! I feel like we're few and far between rn?
OMG IM OBSESSED WITH SIX YASSSS
Yasss six fans unite
omg yesss six
Oooh...The tea has been spilled! Also, I'm auditioning for the wizard of oz soon and I'm so excited!!!!!
Break a leg!!!!
@Olivia Hinkley Thanks!!!
@@elizajanegoodrich8878 tysm!
You’ll do great!
@@jakebassinger5409 awww! Thank you!!!
👏 this is a fantastic analogy
Thank you 💗
Kat you are one of my biggest inspirations. My eighth grade year book asks who our biggest inspirations are and my first thought was ‘Katherine Steele.’ I have watched you for so long and you have encouraged me to pursue theatre.
You are so sweet, I’m honored!!
Please don’t apologize for being so candid. I really appreciate someone with this much influence talking about how badly we need to start finding balance.
Thank you so much for talking about this. We all definitely need to remember that balance is the key to everything.
love how incredible katherine is. she can talk about something she loves and not feel bad when it isn’t perfect. i wish you so much happiness
The day I, a diehard theatre kid always and forever, found out I was actually good at sports, I cried
GIRL this is so real. i was under contract over the summer and my family went to japan. i think i look for so much validation within theatre bc i sometimes feel like it’s the only thing i can do ???? this video is v necessary.
♥️
I’m a techie and I totally get this. You articulated that so well golly, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable about your experiences :)
you should totally make a history of your relationship with theatre video.. like a run through of your shows and classes etc.. it just sounds interesting :)
As much as I love theater, I have had some bad experiences. The company was doing Into the Woods and people kept telling me to do the show because I had a good singing voice, it challenged your voice, and was complex. I decided to do it and I auditioned. I was a little nervous since I was going into the higher age level (13-18) because I am the kind of girl who still plays with Barbie and watches my little pony, but I was ready to make some new theater friends. The cast list came out and I was shocked. I got Milkey White the cow. No solos or lines. Every 13 year old girl’s dream. (Looking back now, I am happy for the acting experience it gave me since I had to communicate with body language and facial feature rather than words.) I was super sad. I felt like I had worked so hard, and I got cast as a cow!! The kids were rude and treated me like I was invisible and constantly teased me. I started thinking bad about myself and almost got an eating disorder so that I could be thin and people wouldn’t see me as a cow. In retrospect I should have quit, but I was worried I would burn a bridge, so I stayed. The overall experience was bad, and I took a break from theater for a whole semester. I also can’t listen to into the woods without remembering my awe full experience. I have now found a supportive and inclusive theater group and feel better about myself. Thanks for reading my rant. I love theater, but certain groups can be very toxic.
i feel you. i love theatre and acting in general but i feel so isolated from the outside world, i'm ok with it but i would like to just be able to come home and watch tv for 5 hours straight or go out with non- acting friends without feeling burnt out.
SPILL THE TEA SIS!!!!
This just threw me into a crisis, because theater is my thing I do outside of my job to help me cope and now I’m rethinking everything
i was Waiting for kats video seince last thursday!
ugh God i’m so glad you addressed this!! the part about theatre that i find the most toxic is that when you get sucked in, you really get SUCKED in and as a result, find yourself competing with literally everyone and comparing yourself and your training to that of people who have been doing theatre for years!
I had to miss the broadway flee market because I had rehearsal!!!! Lol! I was so sad!
I truly identify with this entire relationship with theatre. I went to arts high school and now I'm getting a BA in theatre. Growing up and realizing that your identity is based in such a toxic place like theatre is also a special little jaded theatre kid thing.
This is why I do a variety of activities
Cheer
Mock trial
And theatre
This is a huge, huge eye opener. Theater really can be toxic. My whole life has become theater and ive noticed that it is actually straining some of my relationships with my family and friends. Really just appreciate this video.
t h e q u e e n h a s s p o k e n
also I completely agree with you, theatre is like drugs. It can be used to help you, or create an addiction.
I’m so happy that someone who’s pretty well known in the theater community finally said something about this
How can you maintain friendships outside of theater classes? Love your videos by the way.
dude, I get it. I’m a Sophomore MT major and it gets hard balancing school, rehearsals, and a social life sometimes, but for me the positives outweigh the negatives. It all depends on the person and what they need in life to be happiest❤️
"You're irreplaceable"
Yeeeeeah
Unless you quit the show
Then some backstage kid who didn't make it will eagerly take your place(me)
this is so important to address, i remember when i finally accepted that law (despite being my passion) was killing me, and learning how to balance that in my life, it’s hard but vital to being successful. i don’t know anyone who has made it incredibly far into their career who hasn’t accepted that balance is important
It is crazy how much I can relate to this.
I almost started crying when you were talking about validation. I'm three-quarters done my first year at a performing arts school where I'm doing theater pretty much every day, and it made me realize that I barely get any validation outside of theater. I didn't a ton before starting at my school, but my self-worth is tied to my work now more than ever. And I don't really know what to do about it.
I’ve never got into anything so nothing I had to miss. 😭
I do theatre, but I make sure to continue with my life. I struggle with saying no to auditions or casting calls because I have to remind myself that my life is something that is worth more than a role. But I still perform in at least two productions a year, and like you said, theatre is a huge part of my life.
Thanks for throwing that out here and I’m so happy that you vocalized something I’ve been thinking for so long.
This got a little surprisingly sad Katherine...you got me in tears now 😭
I don’t work IN theatre at any capacity anymore, but as someone who is studying/working to be in the animation industry AND has a great love for all things theatrical, I really appreciate you taking the time to make this video and emphasize the point that while something can be your greatest love, it can also consume you if you aren’t careful. Many of your sentiments have been echoed in similar forms from professors and friends alike - the importance of balance and self-care, not letting your work consume you, and the sacrifices that tend to be made when you get in deep. The “three hours of sleep”/workaholic comment especially rang true because I KNOW people who are like that - I’ve been that person too. Validation outside of your work is so important and necessary, and incidentally, that’s what theatre is for me. Thank you for bringing this to light!! I hope you have the most amazing day. ❤️
I thought you were quitting tbh when I saw the thumbnail... now we’re here talking about our relationship with theatre... that took a turn pretty quick ig😂😂😂
Kat, I love you so much. You’re such a huge inspiration. Thank you so much for putting out videos. I am currently playing Belle in my 6th grade choir’s concert staging of Beauty and the Beast. I’m rewatching all of your videos for advice. I can’t thank you enough for everything. You are so incredible. So, thank you for being you. Xoxo
I’ve missed SO MANY things because of theatre and acting! I hadn’t realized how much theatre has impacted my life. Gives me something to think about. This was perfectly said Kat! Ily!!!!!!💕💕💕
I feel like I'd possibly skip rehearsal if it was important, the hard part is just what to say to your director about why you're missing it
finally someone talking about this! I've found that my largest problem of theater (I know no one cares) is just the amount of toxic people that I am often cast with in school who just really treat me badly even when I haven't done anything. it would actually be so good if you could make a video about the toxic ness of theater in general. THANK YOU FOR THIS
I’ve never been this early. hi Katherine! I love your channel!
I honestly needed that. I’m not in theater, nor have I ever been, but I understand that feeling of constantly pushing yourself so that you can get validation from others. I wonder what would happen if we, as humans, just accepted who we are and didn’t need to feel like we had to be worthy or earn the approval of others, or even our ourselves for that matter.
You should make a video of your playbill collection!! :)
_Fab_ Frankie_ she has one!!
this is important. ALL of my theatre friends brag about overworking themselves, how they'll break down if they don't get cast, how they would do anything for the director, and it freaks me out pretty bad to think that only last year, i was one of them. health and happiness should always be the priority. hard work is crucial, but not as crucial as self respect. if you take care of yourself, that will also help your work. take care of yourselves, guys! you deserve it!
I like this video a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of your videos, but I like this kind of video too. You are amazing, keep doing what you are doing. 🎭❤️
Also your voice doesn’t sound that different. 👍🏼
THIS WAS THE MOST RELATABLE THING I HAVE EVER WATCHED
as a theatre kid this is so true to me we try so hard to keep ourselves busy so we can have that attention of only getting a a certain amount of sleep or being to busy to hang out with someone.. but at the end i would never change theatre i would just have to change the mindset of the goal of it. ya know
I had to miss a really good friends 18th birthday, among a variety of things but that's the big one my mind goes to
yes yes yes and yes !!!!!! i overwork myself because i want to be dedicated and show how much i love this and have that love pay off, but i can't be crashing after every show i do and get so sick that i can't stand because i HAD to be so dedicated to do nothing but that, to never ever miss rehearsal even when i felt awful, etc. too much theatre and only theatre and too much "i'm dedicated! this is dedication!" helps us hurt ourselves under the guise of dedication and fun
THEATRE THURSDAY FAMMMMM💖💖💖💞💞😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰 LOVE YOU SO MUCH KATHERINE! I’m one minute into this video and I already can relate soooo much! You are the best!😘
Edit: this was such a helpful video! It taught a great lesson!💖 Also I love your Heathers shirt❤️
Absolutely relatable and well stated. I unfortunately once prioritized theatre over my own health and ended up very very sick during my senior year of hs, and since then learned their is a limit to sacrificing for my craft. Thank you so much for this video.
Where did you get your shirt?! Ahh please tell me I NEED IT !!
honestly this video was so needed. i totally didn’t even realize that my emotions were fluctuating based on what role i was cast in or if i was receiving praise until recently, and this video really just affirmed that i can still be a dedicated performer and LOVE theatre without having that drama in my life. a heart full of love for this
Love you Kat😘🤩🤩🤩🤩
I’m literally in a relationship with theatre
PS you are such an inspiration to me😊
This is literally your best video, to date. I think EVERY theatre kid/teen/adult has these exact feelings. Wow.
I love you Kat !💕💕💕✨✨✨
It's like Jelani Alladin said in "Icebreaker". Actors usually expect themselves to just focus on the work, but it's important to go out there and live your life.
i’ *M* A mER *Ma* id acTO *R* NOw
I love this so much because I agree with you that theatre has convinced us that we need to over dedicate ourselves to everything about a show. Thank you Kat!
i am NEVER this early yay snow day
I totally get what you mean, when I hear people put so much time and effort into office jobs I think “life’s too short, don’t neglect your friends and family, the work will still be there, you won’t look back and your life and be grateful you finished that paperwork on time, you’ll look back in the happy memories with people you love.” But with theatre I’ve wasted two weeks off from college learning lines, finishing acting coursework, reading more plays, and buying costume for a show I’m in. Even when I’m not in rehearsal I still spend so much time on it. I love it but it’s so consuming. Thanks for the great video kat. It reminded me to slow down and I’m going to take the weekend off to relax before rehearsals on Monday
I missed my birth for theatre, oops 😬
I'm a sophomore in college in love with my work, thank you for reminding me my life belongs to me and not my profession or my peers. This video is so honest and vulnerable, it's my favorite video you've ever done.
First xx
I'M JOHN LAURENS IN THE PLACE TO BE
Toxic relationship is EXACTLY how I describe it too. Most of my closest friends, my boyfriend, my feeling of self-worth and confidence all come from theater.
As a stage manager who works a non-theater 8-5 job though, it also contributes to a lot of mental/emotional health issues that I had to deal with. I am finally taking steps to not overwork myself or take jobs just because I need to feel useful or busy and am starting to balance out my life again.
So that is my long way of saying thank you yes 100% agree and am so glad somebody with a platform to say it is saying it. :)
More videos like this!! Everyone knows about the hardships of training, rejection, nerves, etc., but no one ever cares to share the parts of theatre like this - the lessons you learn the hard way, the things you get so caught up in you don’t realize until it becomes a monster, the things that make people want to give up. Thank you for this video!!
i’m so glad someone made a video about this. it’s too important of an issue to ignore
I think this is so well stated. I didn’t realize how toxic my relationship to theatre was until I graduated school and moved to NYC. I was struggling to sleep between auditions (which often take all day out here) and working my money job and trying to create some kind of social life. I’ve began noticing a more positive outlook by making some changes- now I sometimes put social events higher on my priority list than auditioning for a show I really wasn’t right for, and I always try to schedule friends in for when I get out of auditions, so even if I don’t get seen I have something positive to look forward to. Balance is so so important, good for you. :)
This is a conversation that definitely needed to be had. I think we fail to realize that even though we might be growing as a performer, a lot of other things are suffering. We've been taught that we have to sacrifice those things, and that its all part of "the process". But it isn't!! It's all about balance
GOD I have been feeling the same lately. I'm a recently graduated (well, from community college) tech/stage manager and I am feeling SO BURNT OUT even though I'm only doing 3 shows this entire year. I keep finding out I have to miss out on things because of the show commitments I've made and I work a part-time job as well and I haven't had a real vacation in over 2 years, and I feel like the switch between absolutely LOVING what I was doing in theater a year ago to how tired and burnt out I feel now is like whiplash. I still love what I'm doing, but when you said "find validation in something other than theater," that hit me really hard. I'm discovering that I really really need to find something else in my life that can make me feel happier while still allowing me to do theater, which is just as you said, "my first love/the love of my life/etc"
This video also came at the PERFECT time. I got a manager recently and all of the sudden my life became INCREDIBLY busy with travel and some things out of my comfort zone. But I want to prove so badly that I’m worthy that I’m already thinking ahead to what I’ll have to cancel or bail on (like family vacations which I don’t want to do) I’m worried that having a life will make me less desirable.
Two years ago I was in a production of Working and we were opening during the time of graduation. (I was in eighth grade). We had a school dance because it was for the eighth grade graduation and we all rehearsed for a few weeks and worked really hard on the choreography and on the night of the big dance was the opening night for working and I was a bit heartbroken because I’m a dancer and I killed it every time we rehearsed. However, I’m glad that we opened and it was really fun and worth it!!!!!!!!! I will always love theatre!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
As a theatre major in a conservatory program, this is so, SO big! I know some people in my school who barely leave our building, I’ve literally been in classes/rehearsals for 14+ hours a day at times, and it’s so hard to break out of the “theatre mindset” that it was a big deal my first quarter when I had a few friends who aren’t theatre majors. I try really hard to maintain the balance, but it’s not always easy!
You just put all of my feelings into words so well. I would love a video on how theatre itself can be toxic because I've been feeling this way for such a long time and have take a whole year- long break from theatre because of it.
Thank you for talking about this. When I was in high school, I definitely felt like I had an addiction to theatre. I’d use it as an excuse to miss things like homework and social event. Now I recognize that I enjoy theatre and love it, but I find balance in other hobbies. And I do think it makes you a better performer. Thanks for talking about this.
Deep into tech for my school’s School of Rock, my first real lead and my first onstage romance, lots of backstage drama and tension with the cast, crew, and director, and no one knowing their stuff, plus lots of internal worrying personally about social stuff...this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much 💕
I love these "real talk" style videos from you and I'd honestly be happy to see a lot more of it! I know this channel is primarily a fun and happy place but it's good to bring up the "self-care" aspects of being a theatre kid - and we're talking mental health too, not just skincare and hydration.
But yeah, I definitely feel this whole video on a spiritual level. It reminds me of a time in school when my friend and I were talking about how so super busy we both were as theatre minors (MINORS. Not even majors.) and cracking jokes like "I'm going to have a mental breakdown but ThEaTrE iS mY pAsSiOn" and like gurl no please rest
Kath, I appreciated this so much. I’m 23 and I do theatre. It’s my first love but I’ve also fallen in love with the field of student affairs. I’ve felt this guilt because I feel like I’m abandoning my dream but I realized that the life of the full time actor, really isn’t for me (I hate auditioning omg). Having other passions and skills does not make us any less of a performer.
Oof I needed this today. I just spent the whole day laughing about doing 4 separate shows right now with a concussion. Theatre is an addiction, you verbalized everything I’ve been feeling deep down recently.
I got a little scared at how serious this video was getting, but it's an important message. I really feel validated now because before I thought I was betraying my theatre love when I wasn't doing it all the time. Thanks, Kat! I love you so much!
I had to miss my cousin’s birthday cause I had a show... I regret it cause I barely see him anymore. Theatre is everything to me, even more so when you have so many friends in your drama class/ play cast and crew and you have a super tight relationship with your drama teacher/director cause she’s like a second mom to you. Theatre has become everything to me. Ever since I was eight, Ive been acting. I’ve missed work cause of dress rehearsal, and you’re right, it’s cause I feel irreplaceable for once in my life. I’m at home when I’m on stage. But seeing this video... finally seeing what theatre has done to me... you’re right, Kathrine, we need balance and we need to take care of ourselves. This was a needed video. Thank you for this 💕
You raise so many excellent points. Even though I have never performed theater, the same notions can be applied to fandom life. My relationship to TV, theater and the Internet often reached points of obsession in the past until I realized that spending every waking minute thinking, reading, watching and talking about my favorite things, wasn't actually healthy. Compromising sleep and mental health didnt make me a better fan just because I appeared more dedicated. Now I try to have a healthier, albeit more distanced approach to engaging with things I love and care about, even if that means I am not a "super fan" of anything anymore.
Theatre can be toxic for a few other reasons, too. I actually just took an entire season off because I found myself coming home crying every day that my voice wasn’t as pretty as someone else’s, I couldn’t hit as low or high of a note as someone else, I didn’t look as skinny or muscular as someone else at auditions looked. I even found myself knocking myself down before EVERY audition, wondering about the people who would be there and how they would be so much better than me. And while partly, it does have to do with my mindset, the toxicity in the theatre also played into the negativity. Everything is good in moderation, and I’m really glad I took a break.