Highly educational!! This clears up so much!! Victims of narcissistic abuse can get PTSD, sometimes I feel like I have that, I get panic attacks and can´t go out if there is an episode with the narc and I become cold and numb and cannot function. This is a gargantuan subject with lots of rabbit holes to discover. Back to the video... thank you H.G.
This Video is a Clearly Explained and Valuable piece of work. From an Educational perspective it is another piece that is a must Listen. From an Emotional perspective it is a nescescity
Having studied and worked with this disorder for many years i have some personal experience. The term ‘borderline’ I found conflicting and confusing when working with the two splits you have described HG. Your theory corroborates these various cases and I understand your point. Over time, I began to differentiate between the PTSD persons from those who self diagnose or have been diagnosed as suffering with BPD. There was a gap in my knowledge which your more detailed classification of NPD filled. Also I have read that NPD is often misdiagnosed as ADHD and autism. But I digress. What I’ve noticed is those persons who I would say were presenting with PTSD symptoms continue (not without hiccoughs) with their treatment. Those whose empathy did not become properly evident didn’t finish a course. Just something I’ve noticed.
An excellent video that specifies the differences in the behaviours, specifically in regard to the consistency (or not) of those behaviours. And why many people may get misdiagnosed. Thank you, HG 🤍
It is. Every human being just wants to feel empathy from others, in the core. That is why I work on trying to be empathetic towards everyone. Even online. Someone said "People do not want to be loved. They want to be understood." I resonated with that, without knowing why. Then Mel Robbins said, do you ever go in your head: "I wonder, how it must have felt to be in those circumstances, with x people around you, being treated this way, when all you wanted was x, and then this happened." Or something like that. We often just think of ourselves, and forget to wonder how things are for others. We cannot know, but it would be better, if we all tried too life from others eyes. And stop judging first. Offering help, asking questions, if you see struggle, rather than claim them a failure etc.
I'm still confused because there seems to be an equal and opposite for almost every aspect. So I might be a narcissist because I can't control myself sometimes but most of the time I do. I'm pretty sure a childhood in an extremely abusive family is what put this monster in me. I'm deeply empathetic, I love helping people, I find joy in seeing people succeed whether it benefits or even affects me in any way except the joy I mentioned. I attack myself constantly, I find a way to make everything my fault. It was awesome for my ex that thinks I'm a narcissist, incidentally whom I came to this whole side of life because I was trying to understand how I felt, and what kind of person could do what she had done to me, fool me so completely, then after years, and engagement shift seamlessly into a stranger, like a long lost twin, almost the same but completely different. She was never wrong, she would almost never apologize, and you would rather not get one of her 'apologies' anyways. I was the opposite, especially with her, I believed her facade. My instinct is always to blame myself first, I'm a piece of shit, it must have been me. Then compared to this saint, I don't know what, but it couldn't be her, so it must be me. I think I'm fucked and will always wonder.
Your ex is probably the narc. As for abusive childhoods, I used to ride the ny subway when I was PMS-ing and wait for someone crazier than me to start something. Clear conscience because self-defence. Mosh pits are helpful, too. Just make sure you're properly dressed.
This is very plausible! And the DSM-5 TR now acknowledges the equal distribution (50 % / 50 %) of narcissism among women. So the research is catching up with you HG.
So yes, when I was a kid, my empathy was probably turned off, due to the environment or due to the disorder. How do you care for a mother who is a monster? It’s impossible and it’s probably what got me targeted for some major physical abuse, probably starting at the age of three. So I had the empathy but it had to be turned off. It was shock, turned on, by a teacher ( probably around the age of seven ), who scolded me, for my wrong doing. I felt guilt and shame. And it never left me since. The church makes it even worse. A low I.Q. Probably makes it worse. It takes forever to get rid of it. It’s so hard to get rid of it. But possible to try to kick it down, in the corner, well, a little bit below the heart, as your kind can kick it down, into the corner, I think, because it interferes in your wanting to be evil. But you would prefer the word, entitled. 😄
Yes, there seems to be little difference in those who'd either be identified as narcissists or borderlines when one looks at the motivation for the behaviors; the prime aims.
I had wondered about this after watching some shrink talk about BPD.. I was fairly certain he was describing a narcissist and it appears, from what you’ve said here, he was.. he didn’t discuss anything about the possibility of PTSD and I’m glad to have the additional information you’ve provided. Could someone, as an aware narcissist, decide that the behavior that they have exhibited in the past is not how they wish to behave in the future and actively engage in altering their behavior to be more appropriate/positive/beneficial? Can a narcissist therefore learn to ‘control’ their narcissistic behavior if they so choose?
An aware narc does not care about past behaviour, therefore has no motivation to alter behaviour in future. They literally don’t care, because they don’t possess the mental ‘wiring’ (capacity) to care. It’s like expecting a life long blind person to know or realise what the colour red is. It’s impossible to achieve because they’re not wired for it. It’s difficult for empaths to wrap their head around it.
Also, I just want to say that I don’t believe that I was misdiagnosed because I took a long, lengthy, arduous, test, and I remember those questions. And I remember how I was answering them. The score is going to be making it add up towards that. They don’t give you your diagnosis. I had to ask for my medical records to get it, by stumbling upon it. I was horrified when I saw that I fit the definition of it. But I felt that it wouldn’t have happened to me had I not been tortured by my violent family members and the dysfunctional dynamics. But I do have to say, that after all of this studying, I do think that the gene is in me. Not only that, I also passed it along. My daughter has the antisocial personality disorder. And one would think that she has it mild, because she is so sweet and shows it very mildly but when you score her, on the Hare test, she’s only one point below my mom and sister. She’s a 24, they’re a 25. I was an 11. Obviously that shit’s in me. So; no PTSD for me. No need to. See how that adds up?
Don't listen to the stigma of narcissism. Narcissism is a coping style which can be unlearned if you're willing to face the unbearable shame. Psychoanalysis is probably the best route but make sure you pick someone who acknowledges narcissism as an inability to maintain self-esteem, not all the popular beliefs like they're just bad people
I don't care. Everyone knows and doesn't say how they have dealt with it. I'd like to say, superior other, "I'm not here to make your life perfect while my life sucks.! Ha. Oh, an argument. Well, "Windmill man" said, they're in our brain. Stand back... 🎉 I am about to shine in my own life, SIr! Without you and all the false friends, you showed me. Have you seen my use of space in a confined area where my onions last almost 3 months?
So also, let me just state. What if I’m a vulnerable narcissist. I highly doubt it but, I am from an identical twin with it, BUT, genetically, due to environment, my empathy got turned on, so that I am a narcissist WITH empathy! Isn’t that strange? And further could that mean, that if society adapted a mandatory 3 months nursing of baby, away from the psychopath, or, at least, limited and monitored visits, like, what my mom did, that the disordered baby’s empathy gene would be turned on? Just a thought.
To train empathy, you just need to an exercise to wonder, a person you know, and their story or history, and wonder how it must have been for them. Preferably, something that does not include you, because your defenses for your own actions, will interrupt the thought process.
Does a perfectly precise definition really matter? Unless for research purposes, who cares? From the POV of the diagnosed person why not back off to a soft focus if that's more accurate or helpful?
Bein addicted to drama is often an unskillful way to get needs met. When people know better, they do better. Many are simply clueless, and have gaping holes of needs, they are somehow trying to get met.
Highly educational!! This clears up so much!! Victims of narcissistic abuse can get PTSD, sometimes I feel like I have that, I get panic attacks and can´t go out if there is an episode with the narc and I become cold and numb and cannot function. This is a gargantuan subject with lots of rabbit holes to discover. Back to the video... thank you H.G.
Please get professional help, if it is an option for you. I tends to get worse, as PTSD clouds your judgement and you get re-traumatized.
This Video is a Clearly Explained and Valuable piece of work. From an Educational perspective it is another piece that is a must Listen. From an Emotional perspective it is a nescescity
It is not uncommon for a borderline to also have narcissism or psychopathy and bipolar. Indeed you are right, author of these videos.
Thank you for this new channel, HG. The information you provide (without all the fluff) is appreciated.
Fascinating! New subscriber here. Long time HG Tudorite!
Having dealt with one, this describes them perfectly
Thanks for your intelligent insight HG ❤
Understanding is only a beginning , to comprehension . And perspective is relevant , eg, service to self or service to others .
Having studied and worked with this disorder for many years i have some personal experience. The term ‘borderline’ I found conflicting and confusing when working with the two splits you have described HG. Your theory corroborates these various cases and I understand your point.
Over time, I began to differentiate between the PTSD persons from those who self diagnose or have been diagnosed as suffering with BPD. There was a gap in my knowledge which your more detailed classification of NPD filled. Also I have read that NPD is often misdiagnosed as ADHD and autism. But I digress.
What I’ve noticed is those persons who I would say were presenting with PTSD symptoms continue (not without hiccoughs) with their treatment. Those whose empathy did not become properly evident didn’t finish a course. Just something I’ve noticed.
I think I’m dealing w a Bonderline, who IS a middle mid range type B who is of victim mentality,
An excellent video that specifies the differences in the behaviours, specifically in regard to the consistency (or not) of those behaviours. And why many people may get misdiagnosed. Thank you, HG 🤍
Thomas Dimbleby, in his book about Prince Charles, speculated that Diana had BPD.
Her and Marylin Monroe as well, imo
I have seen it mentioned in the writings of other professionals.
@@sue8344 As the mother of a borderline, I agree with his observation.
Being understood is intoxicating.
It is. Every human being just wants to feel empathy from others, in the core. That is why I work on trying to be empathetic towards everyone. Even online. Someone said "People do not want to be loved. They want to be understood." I resonated with that, without knowing why. Then Mel Robbins said, do you ever go in your head: "I wonder, how it must have felt to be in those circumstances, with x people around you, being treated this way, when all you wanted was x, and then this happened." Or something like that. We often just think of ourselves, and forget to wonder how things are for others. We cannot know, but it would be better, if we all tried too life from others eyes. And stop judging first. Offering help, asking questions, if you see struggle, rather than claim them a failure etc.
Happy holidays to you and yours ✨️
Everyone who ever back-stabbe me, has unprocessed trauma.
I'm still confused because there seems to be an equal and opposite for almost every aspect. So I might be a narcissist because I can't control myself sometimes but most of the time I do. I'm pretty sure a childhood in an extremely abusive family is what put this monster in me. I'm deeply empathetic, I love helping people, I find joy in seeing people succeed whether it benefits or even affects me in any way except the joy I mentioned. I attack myself constantly, I find a way to make everything my fault. It was awesome for my ex that thinks I'm a narcissist, incidentally whom I came to this whole side of life because I was trying to understand how I felt, and what kind of person could do what she had done to me, fool me so completely, then after years, and engagement shift seamlessly into a stranger, like a long lost twin, almost the same but completely different. She was never wrong, she would almost never apologize, and you would rather not get one of her 'apologies' anyways. I was the opposite, especially with her, I believed her facade. My instinct is always to blame myself first, I'm a piece of shit, it must have been me. Then compared to this saint, I don't know what, but it couldn't be her, so it must be me. I think I'm fucked and will always wonder.
Perhaps you are borderline co-morbid with, “ empath “.
Your ex is probably the narc.
As for abusive childhoods, I used to ride the ny subway when I was PMS-ing and wait for someone crazier than me to start something. Clear conscience because self-defence.
Mosh pits are helpful, too. Just make sure you're properly dressed.
I do not think that you are a narcissist, she may have been projecting.
This is very plausible! And the DSM-5 TR now acknowledges the equal distribution (50 % / 50 %) of narcissism among women. So the research is catching up with you HG.
Thankyou HG.❤️🌻
Interesting food for thought.
So yes, when I was a kid, my empathy was probably turned off, due to the environment or due to the disorder. How do you care for a mother who is a monster? It’s impossible and it’s probably what got me targeted for some major physical abuse, probably starting at the age of three. So I had the empathy but it had to be turned off.
It was shock, turned on, by a teacher ( probably around the age of seven ), who scolded me, for my wrong doing. I felt guilt and shame. And it never left me since.
The church makes it even worse. A low I.Q. Probably makes it worse. It takes forever to get rid of it. It’s so hard to get rid of it. But possible to try to kick it down, in the corner, well, a little bit below the heart, as your kind can kick it down, into the corner, I think, because it interferes in your wanting to be evil. But you would prefer the word, entitled. 😄
Yes, there seems to be little difference in those who'd either be identified as narcissists or borderlines when one looks at the motivation for the behaviors; the prime aims.
I had wondered about this after watching some shrink talk about BPD.. I was fairly certain he was describing a narcissist and it appears, from what you’ve said here, he was.. he didn’t discuss anything about the possibility of PTSD and I’m glad to have the additional information you’ve provided.
Could someone, as an aware narcissist, decide that the behavior that they have exhibited in the past is not how they wish to behave in the future and actively engage in altering their behavior to be more appropriate/positive/beneficial? Can a narcissist therefore learn to ‘control’ their narcissistic behavior if they so choose?
An aware narc does not care about past behaviour, therefore has no motivation to alter behaviour in future. They literally don’t care, because they don’t possess the mental ‘wiring’ (capacity) to care. It’s like expecting a life long blind person to know or realise what the colour red is. It’s impossible to achieve because they’re not wired for it. It’s difficult for empaths to wrap their head around it.
@@andkyrmar Ordinarily I would agree, but I have a personal reason to wonder otherwise.
Also, I just want to say that I don’t believe that I was misdiagnosed because I took a long, lengthy, arduous, test, and I remember those questions. And I remember how I was answering them. The score is going to be making it add up towards that.
They don’t give you your diagnosis. I had to ask for my medical records to get it, by stumbling upon it. I was horrified when I saw that I fit the definition of it. But I felt that it wouldn’t have happened to me had I not been tortured by my violent family members and the dysfunctional dynamics. But I do have to say, that after all of this studying, I do think that the gene is in me. Not only that, I also passed it along. My daughter has the antisocial personality disorder. And one would think that she has it mild, because she is so sweet and shows it very mildly but when you score her, on the Hare test, she’s only one point below my mom and sister. She’s a 24, they’re a 25. I was an 11.
Obviously that shit’s in me. So; no PTSD for me. No need to. See how that adds up?
Omg I've got BPD and I really don't want to be a narcissist 😢 I hope I'm not
Don't listen to the stigma of narcissism. Narcissism is a coping style which can be unlearned if you're willing to face the unbearable shame. Psychoanalysis is probably the best route but make sure you pick someone who acknowledges narcissism as an inability to maintain self-esteem, not all the popular beliefs like they're just bad people
Many are misdiagnosed and actually have CPTSD.. they throw that BPD diagnosis around way too much. This could very well be the case, do not worry.
@@CB19087 how do you even know that they have NPD? You do not know this.. they were most likely misdiagnosed, many are. And no, Narcs cannot change.
I don't care. Everyone knows and doesn't say how they have dealt with it. I'd like to say, superior other, "I'm not here to make your life perfect while my life sucks.! Ha. Oh, an argument. Well, "Windmill man" said, they're in our brain. Stand back... 🎉
I am about to shine in my own life, SIr!
Without you and all the false friends, you showed me. Have you seen my use of space in a confined area where my onions last almost 3 months?
No sir, respectfully
So also, let me just state. What if I’m a vulnerable narcissist. I highly doubt it but, I am from an identical twin with it, BUT, genetically, due to environment, my empathy got turned on, so that I am a narcissist WITH empathy! Isn’t that strange? And further could that mean, that if society adapted a mandatory 3 months nursing of baby, away from the psychopath, or, at least, limited and monitored visits, like, what my mom did, that the disordered baby’s empathy gene would be turned on? Just a thought.
To train empathy, you just need to an exercise to wonder, a person you know, and their story or history, and wonder how it must have been for them. Preferably, something that does not include you, because your defenses for your own actions, will interrupt the thought process.
My goodness, the introduction was very gentle by your standards. No wonder your audience think you are a nice person ...
What are you? Where are you? How old are you? C'mon this is all still massively ridiculous. I deserve some answers.
Does a perfectly precise definition really matter? Unless for research purposes, who cares? From the POV of the diagnosed person why not back off to a soft focus if that's more accurate or helpful?
Drama Queens....
Bein addicted to drama is often an unskillful way to get needs met. When people know better, they do better. Many are simply clueless, and have gaping holes of needs, they are somehow trying to get met.