@@maelang2004 no one has time for them especially if we have babies too them cause they can’t be loved or give love. Also most don’t want help there happy cheating and sitting on dating sites behind there partner’s back
Totally 😂 And if I may add to your point: there’s no more self-evaluating than when Sam Vaknin posts a video and you realise you’d have been wondering about this a few years ago, but now probably know what he’ll be saying, given the hundreds of hours of you’ve spent watching his videos - but you watch it anyway because you enjoy them so much. Result of self-evaluation: I’ve now spent more time learning about disorders than I did on my degrees in art, literature and history… I’m a dumb-dumb for not instead doing a degree in psychology, writing and illustrating as a hobby ☹️
So weird because grandiose narcissists often (this happened recently) react to me as described they would react to a psychopath. And it is strange to see these blusterous egos suddenly almost thank me for being there. Not all of them, some are just on guard with me which is fair. I’m not a psychopath though but I am very sensitive to the power plays and I guess I’m calm and confident, so it’s possible they just get like that when they don’t feel they can win the status game? I don’t know, it’s all complex. I do tend to like overt narcissists though, they are often very clever and like it when it’s recognised but it’s hard spending too much time with them as everything turns towards some imaginary battle they are having with someone, struggling to dominate them in their mind it seems, obsessed with some previous slight all the time.
A psychopath will manipulate the narcissist with ease. The psychopath will destroy the narcissist. Narcissistic people are way too miserable and self obsessed while a psychopath don't care. They just have fun with people. They can keep their cool. A narcissist can't.
That gut feeling is real. I was an affair for a narcissist last year and in the beginning I had a feeling in my gut like „invasive darkness“ but I ignored it because he was so cute in his behaviour and I had no idea about narcissism. And I had a feeling like he’s mentally ill and disabled somehow but I didn’t know how. Because he was very intelligent, he’s a scientist and very good in speaking so I was absolutely confused about my own feelings…It’s awesome how intuition warns you!
ikr intuition is 100 percent real, i ignored my intuition..it was bad, i got a narc friend..anyways were not friends anymore. she would call herself pretty and tell that everyone is obsessed with her like BRUH
Omg I had exactly the same thought when I first met my ex narc, mentally disabled 😮. I've never heard anyone else say that and I'd never felt that before.
I think I've witnessed this at a workplace. The conversation between the two got louder to a point where it was comical. I had to leave as I was struggling to not laugh out loud.
some are charming but not forever as the mask wears off. After that they're like sandpaper, but they also get bored very easily and you have to endlessly entertain them.
I don't agree. Keep in mind, that humour is a great instrument to manipulate and to deceive people. There are some candidates in the comedy scene, who I think could be narcissists. I met a woman, who was possibly an covert narcissist, and who was extremely funny. Every man fell in love with her.
@@GermanTafferThe word is severely misused today as well. What people call "narcissism" in some cases is little more than intellect and recognition of the lack of it in the surroundings, and the eventual disgust for the situation. But it gets used as a general cover for anyone with an opinion today.
😂 like dogs, gotta keep a few around for different purposes, these seem like awfully useful personalities in a tribe setting, like let's be honest, it works way better with that tight knit, psychopathy us vs them thinking 😂
The most exhilarating human interaction I’ve ever witnessed was between a loud, violent, highly respected/feared narcissist and a quiet unassuming psychopath! Both were nasty people in their own cluster B ways!! But the psychopath had him dancing to his tune without uttering a word…. It is a joy to behold because a narcissist can never win this battle, a psychopath sees everyone’s flaws and knows how to trip you up! It wasn’t fun being the piggy in the middle… both of them wanted to control me, it was pretty scary for a few years to say the least. The police had their work cut out for them, but even they will respect the psychopath over the sneaky narc!!
So many lightbulb moments watching today's video. Thank you for addressing this Professor. Having witnessed this interplay between actors for years, and not understanding at the time what was going on, I so appreciate your analysis and your amusement/humor. Quite the Theatre of the Absurd. Once living in the thick of narcissistic family, spouse, in-laws, and partners, I now live by the rule: "When I see Narcissism, I don't need to stay and figure it out. Not my circus, not my monkey."
Yeah, I do tend to cut with supply. It's interesting how come you get older the amount of people you encounter become more and more obviously despaired for supply, when the bravado and hubris goes down there is only sadness and despair left.
very accurate about narcissus and psychopath. one of my relatives is a grandiose narcissist and the other is a psychopath. Narcissus does not allow himself to be manipulated in the presence of a psychopath, who immediately puts him in his place. All its grandeur evaporates. I note that a psychopath is more effective in life. Both of them caused me a lot of injuries in my childhood. Creepy people.
@@celestialstar8115 Automatically, I assume, no tactics or anything like that, but simply because there is no attack surface. The mere presence may be enough. Which makes me think about the narcissistic psychopath I had to deal with years ago... very difficult. So I'm separating there, but I don't know if that's medically correct at all. Psychopaths don't necessarily have to have other mental disorders, at least as I see it.
@@celestialstar8115 I can't tell you all my experiences in detail that led me to this statement. I probably didn't understand the comment quite right, I wanted to say that the psychopath doesn't have to do anything extra to put the narcissist in his place. The psychopath simply doesn't have the weak points where a narcissist could attack. But the narcissist has plenty of it. Anyway, in my opinion, both are weak. Emotions/Empathy are a double-edged sword, they just can't handle it and they don't want to take the risk of injury. But that's a topic in itself. Anyway, I can't explain it well right now.
I'm a narcissist and I immediately know when I'm speaking with another person with a dark triad personality. I don't quite know whether they are narcissists, psychopaths or sociopaths - but I know they are one of them. Psychopaths are the easiest to spot because flattery doesn't work on those people. It is absolutely true that the psychopath is the apex predator- none of the tricks narcissists use will work on them, they can't be manipulated in any way, it is best to completely avoid those people. In general though, we don't really interact with each other - we all know our tricks don't work on each other so we stay out of each others way. I don't really know how we can tell that we are speaking with another dark triad person, but I think a lot of it is to do with the eyes. When I talk with a normal person, I can see that they are thinking about what to say next when I'm speaking. A dark triad person will look directly at me, they will see how their words affect my actions, they will focus on making me perform some action or make me say something. The feeling is completely different from speaking with a normal person. A conversation with a normal person is all about them, they hardly listen to what I say - a dark triad person will focus intensely on your words and your body language, when you speak with a dark triad, they don't care what they talk about, they are completely focusing on you. The feeling is just completely different and it's immediately noticeable since when I talk with another dark triad, the conversation is akward because we aren't saying anything, we are both just focused on the other person. On a side note, I once decided to enter the business world and move to an upper management position. 90% of the people I had to work with were psychopaths. I can see that virtually all the politicians on TV are dark triads - so it doesn't really matter who you vote for, or which side you are on...almost all the politicians are dark triads and you shouldn't trust any of them. None of the politicians believe a single word they say, they are just all manipulating you to gain power and money. If they ever help you, it is purely by accident.
Yep nothin new there. All politicians are dirtbags regardless of being psychopaths anyway. Also I’m just wondering, is it a choice to be a narcissist? And why?
My ex-girlfriend was this way. One give away is that if they have to tell you that they’re an “empath” then they most likely are not. Let people’s actions do the talking…
@GG-mx9fj Yes. A psychologist told me years ago to be wary of people who tell you what qualities you should attribute to them because it's likely that they have an issue with that characteristic. She called it "traction," and used honesty as an example. If someone has to tell you they're honest, you'd be wise to consider that maybe they're not.
I witnessed it! It was glorious to behold. My former flat mate sublet one room to me. He was a thumping narcissist and believed he was the most interesting, intelligent creature on earth. His resume was 30 pages long. To him, I was a pair of ears created to listen to his endless bragging. He was in his 60s and had a 25 year old " girlfriend" whom he adored. He was married when they met. He dumped his wife for her, then cheated on her. In revenge she cheated and had a baby. During COVID, he decided to move her into our townhouse. She regularly snuck her baby daddy in for trysts, beat him up, insulted him, called him a pedo behind his back, even had a DUI and totalled his car...... that's not even half of it. I moved out within weeks. The building superintendent says they still have regular beat down, drag out fights and the neighbors are fleeing. This man is a maths professor at McGill University here in Canada. Oh, and our next door neighbor was a psychiatrist! That's how I found out that they were both narcissists.
Math teachers are pretty up in the scale. Grothendieck mentions the average mathematician in his harvest and seed essay/ memoir... Some are definitely good, others a nonsensical mess that have been around way too long.
It's funny you should say that. A friend from college is a math teacher. He was a creeping horror in college, and it only got worse, as he got older...
You’ve perfectly described the feeling I got first few times I saw my ex. Was in a group setting Something unnatural… hard to ignore.. couldn’t pin point what it was Didn’t wanna judge a book by its cover. I learned the hard way😂😂
Professor Sam is just the best at describing narcissism , he has opened my eyes and helped me understand what I couldn’t understand for many years, thank you so much Dr Vaknin !
Wow! This explains something I never understood. When I got married my narcissist mother who never treated any family member genuinely good, just fell all over my husband. She treated him like gold. Ran errands fur him. Brought him food when he was sick. Checked in on him. I was so confused. He turned out to be very bad news. She knew it. She didn't mind the suffering he put me through. I rather think she enjoyed it. But she did cower to him.
This is an amazingly good video. My father could be classified as an overt narcissist and my mother as a covert one. She manipulates my father to no end, and he's kind of clueless on what she's constantly doing until he blows up in a rage and gets his way on some things that she can blind him to. She is insanely machiavellian in everything she does, especially now as many people try to keep away from them, including family, so she has to be even more cunning. I try to minimise my contact with her to just a few minutes every few weeks on the phone (so they won't make problems in my current life) and I've moved 2 continents away from them as they are so toxic. I'm living in a country in which it's extremely difficult for them to get to. My older brother is also a covert narcissist. The arguments between them when I was young took place all day every day and you could hear them while walking up the street from many houses away. The video gives such a great explanation of how my father deals with actual psychopaths though. Most people are terrified of my father, or at least fawning to him until they realise he's a pretty unbalanced guy that should probably be avoided. However, I was always amazed when he'd come across someone who I felt was a psychopath. He would instantly become fawning himself. The funny thing is, these people didn't always have to be incredibly strong people or dangerous people. Sometimes it could just be someone that had a lot of power or abilities in other ways. I think it comes from the fact that his father very much sounds like a psychopath or at least a violent enough alcoholic. Or it's one of the reasons. I can see in my niece that she takes after my father a lot while she has been completely spoiled and never subjected to trauma (so there is definitely some of this in the genes). She was just never disciplined to stop her being a bully, etc. She comes out with ruthless insults to people, even from about the age of 5, whereas she was never around people like that. They also lived in a different country to my parents.
Good video. Had a client that just rubbed me the wrong way, something felt inhuman and sure enough she tried getting me to do many favors for her and even asked me to go on a trip with her… I don’t know her. I told her no to everything and I haven’t heard from her since.
From my observance when narcissists &/or psychopaths get together in social settings, a lot of distorted reminiscing & boasting occurs, together with the large consumption of alcohol & other recreational drugs.
This explains my whole family dynamic, my grandfather was a probably a psychopathic p3d0, my mother is an overt narcissist and my father is a covert narcissist. I always wondered how two narcissists could be together because there wouldn't be a codependent for supply. Interesting how this works.
Brilliant, yes it cannot be reduced to words if you don't know about narcissism. You can do it if you know, but the reactions of others to the narcissist description ranges from indiference to against you not the narcissist 😅 This happens for the reason that a normal people simply cannot belive that a narcissit is what he really is. That is beyond a normal person senses and understanding of the reality.
Its so great to have an online resource for why your home life was so weird during your childhood. As they say on the mean streets of the US of A, Sam is the homie.
Oh yes, this strange feeling. As if you saw a mannequin in a shop and for a millisecond you thought it was a real person ;) But it's those narc's eyes as if they were about to punish you for being human. And then you try to convince yourself that you are the one who is obsessed
Wow…. What a chilling yet accurate description. These eyes are robotic. My girl’s first reaction when she saw him. „Robot pretending to be a human.. trying his best to deliver human emotions, sell stories that will prove he’s a human, but he’s not”.
@@Luke-pn3dr Terrible feeling 100%. Honestly, I've read so many descriptions of narcissists, but I'd still lie to myself that maybe it is just my perception of things not trusting the first impression. Which is very sad, thinking about stories of people who were deceived by them and now have broken families and hard life
@@Sound-Eater my first words.. coming out of my mouth about them „that’s a person who get’s what they want even if it means he has to walk over peoples corpses” it more of a saying in my country. Kind of like „to your goal.. stomping on corpses”.. basically someone who doesn’t care about anyone or anything but him and his goals. Well my instinct did not let me down. Most of the times I identify these mannequins just fine. One I identified and refused to work with.. 6months later he was a fugitive who stole a ton of money.. then they caught him and he ended up in prison. There are a loooot of crazies out there. I’m preety sure the statistics are wrong on just how many. They are talking only on those who were identified and diagnosed.
@@Luke-pn3dr Maybe we are from the same country, because we also say that in Poland, or it's just a coincidence. I think it's just easier when someone is blunt/rude and you see this typically narcissistic behavior every day - pure manipulation for own purposes. Sometimes it's just hard to discover a true motivation. I'm afraid that I don't notice something and I justify someone's behavior with good intentions, where it may be a cover narcissist. Not sure if it was a professor Vaknin or someone else, but mentioned 15% of humanity as narcissists. That's definitely a lot... Professor once said that the number of them increased much more in the early 1980s
I work in the film business (most would consider it ground zero for vapid narcissism) and nowhere can you see this more instantly than when you see two or more Boomer special effects people conversing with each other. One-up this… one-up that… one did a bigger show this… one did a bigger show that… any jokes made amongst them would be of the antagonistic nature. This especially goes for my father (who worked in the field until he retired several years ago). Every word out of his mouth was intended either to build him up or to tear others down.
@GermanTaffer Ground Zero in this context means the opposite of no narcissists. It's a place with a disproportionately high amount of pathologically disordered individuals.
I've been so many times targeted by narcissists. It became like a job to disable them or their acts. And I can ensure when you present an narcissist to another narcissist they come along. It's only in two cases they will go one against the other: 1)You are their potential prey and they want to feed on you in different ways (or if both want scams you from all your money) 2)They are both grandiose narcissists. They hate each other, because they want all the lights on them; it happens often with notorious economists; or like actual American, French, and Brazilian presidents (many more dirigent around the world are narcissistic). The fact is when they arrive at power, they put in place one of their promises, and then enjoying the population struggling and suffering, pretending it isn't easy to change things. And you can see the two last Americans presidents, the Chinese, Russian and few other aren't narcissist (in pervert way), because when there is a major problem incoming, they try to solve it in any way possible, even if sometimes those ways aren't very appropriate. A narc president will let the situation get worse before thinking eventually to arranging it (of course they like to feed on person's despair).
one of my longest and most toxic platonic friendships was with a female covert narcissist (I’m male/grandiose). genuinely television-worthy drama unfurled around us constantly. we love-hated each other into nothingness
Male BPD diagnosed as an adult and conduct disorder diagnosed as a kid, so subclinical ASPD is probs there. Dated a woman who claimed too have bpd. She defs was covert narc 😭 projected so much shit onto me, always questioning my Masculinity 🤣 basically this should be you're biggest give away boys, of she does this, she's a fem fatale, don't fall for the fucking fantasy 😂 All you have is power, and women like the chase even more when they are grandiose inclined, my god stay mysterious boys 😂
- [00:01] 🧠 Understanding the Uncanny Valley reaction: When encountering a narcissist, individuals often experience an unexplainable discomfort or threat that stems from perceiving the narcissist as an inadequate imitation of a human being. - [01:10] 🤖 The Narcissist as a glitchy simulation: The term "Uncanny Valley" originated from robotics and describes the discomfort people feel when faced with human-like robots that are close but not quite human. Similarly, narcissists may come across as flawed imitations of genuine humans, leading to unease. - [03:38] 🔍 Denying the Uncanny Valley reaction: Despite sensing something wrong, individuals might ignore their gut instincts when dealing with narcissists, sometimes due to loneliness or the promises of success offered by the narcissist. - [04:39] 🤝 Interaction between overt narcissists: When overt narcissists meet, they engage in immediate competition and one-upmanship, demonstrating immaturity and ego-driven behavior. - [06:12] ⚠ Overt narcissists vulnerable to covert narcissists: Paradoxically, overt narcissists, who view themselves as superior, can become victims of covert narcissists due to their stealthy and manipulative nature. - [07:23] 🦁 Overt narcissists submit to psychopaths: In encounters with psychopaths, overt narcissists immediately recognize and submit to their dominance, displaying obedience and catering to their needs. - [08:52] 🧪 Using interactions as diagnostic tools: Observing how different types of personalities react to each other can serve as a litmus test for diagnosing narcissistic or psychopathic tendencies.
Yes, indeed. I am a person with strong narcissistic traits (NPD not confirmed, but probably no) and in therapy. When I wasn't aware of my condition, there was one overt narcissist at my job. Since day one we started a feud, constantly trying to outsmart and one up each other, exactly as described in the video. All the while we pretended to be friends, while constantly making rude jokes and laughing at each other's expense. Two narcissists are like spiders in a jar. I wasn't afraid of him, despite the guy being musch stronger, but I've met some psychopaths in my life and I was terrified of them, also as described by Vaknin.
This gives me and incredible insight of how when I met my husband 2 years ago , on our second date when he invited me to stay longer with him , even he was very “nice and kind” I felt the most scary feeling in my stomach I felt in seconds the need to run as fast as I could, I sweat , felt adrenaline and actually tried to leave but as I was taking steps away from him he took my hand and said “please your gonna make me very sad if you leave” with his sad weird face from him.. and I guess I was trying to make myself Belive that I was exaggerating and that he was a very good kind man and I should give it an opportunity for me to not judge without knowing him better. and here I am in another country all by myself in a domestic violence shelter for 4th time in two years , already starting a divorce and making all the plans to go back to Mexico and stay away from him as much as I can because I know he persuades me all the time into his trap but he will never change his personality… Narcisist I guess now is called
@@paulbarker5915 seems like almost everyone has better reality testing than a narcissist. They probably can't find chinks in your armour that they find in others, like emotionality.
Both my father and aunt were grandiose narcissists. Their interaction played out exactly like Prof. Vankin described. I also had the displeasure of having a covert narcissist mother. The interaction between her and my father also played out exactly like Prof. Vankin described. My ex-wife was a psychopath. The interaction between her and my covert narcissist mother was exactly as described by Prof. Vankin.
I know many people say they know narcissists/psychopaths even if they're not certain, but there is no doubt with the ones I knew at a point in my life. I was once "held hostage" in a fight where two sick individuals yelled at each-other about a completely nonsense topic in the middle of a very crowded public place. It was such an extreme fight since both of them were very extreme cases. I knew one of them was a narc because he had severely abused his own siblings growing up, the other I figured later when he personally told me he wanted to abuse children and had no regrets (he might even be a psycho), but he had always shown red flags. Those types of people really leave a mark. I can really vouch for making them meet, after a few times you will definitely know if the one you're unsure about is a narc.
Interesting. My best friend is a narcissist and I've always found him pretty much harmless and agreeable. I was diagnosed as a functional sociopath as a child, so maybe antisocial personality disorder people do interact decently with each other, if the dynamics are right. I'd never really given it too much thought.
My previous partner would state that I was changing ( even smelling different ) and “ turning alien” this was the start of the devalue stage , in reality it was him that was the “ alien” pretending to be a person
I myself struggle a lot to express and read emotions properly, and hence I’m often unable to build up normal relationships. My emotions are mainly superficial , only really strong feelings come through to my consciousness. However, I don’t think I’m too much on the spectrum but there are tendencies. In spite all of that, I am still able to distinguish between right and wrong, and I can for the most part participate normally in society. Even though some people possess these traits, doesn’t mean that they are complete monsters or one should be worried about. Most people perceived the right upbringing and are indeed able to tell when their actions are harming someone.
Thank you Sam! So true , so true! I’m almost daily observing what you are describing about PND and thank also to Y I’m laughing too .They are indeed super trooper manipulator but knowledge & experience also to makes you wiser . I’m wondering… according to epigenetic knowledge all that personality disorders might be fixed and reversed. Every 7 years we’re like new ones but that’s require daily mental & physical work on oneself . What your thoughts on that? Sending to you blessings & positive vibes 🤗
My mother, a covert narcissist, gets along well with her elder brother, which is an overt narcissist. I have always got a sense that there is something not "right" about their demeanor, ever since I was a teen, until I stumbled upon the term NPD on the internet in my late 30s.
I hate to admit it but I score highly on the psychopathic scale and I attract covert narcissists all the time it's like they love being punished. While it is true that I can sense their loser mentality from the get go cause there is something deep deeply pathetic about them which triggers my "let's play this game" - part of the brain, maybe that is my own love for supply? After a couple of months it becomes repetitive and too predictable and it stops. I noticed they hate the way they cannot predict or influence my actions. When my last ex stayed a couple of weeks with me he was vomiting from anxiety every day because not being able to control or manipulate you is something seemingly deeply triggering. No matter how often he tried to tell me "I am not your enemy" Or "I am not against you, why won't you get emotionally close with me" or "Why can't you open up to me" I told him "because I will always be one step ahead of you". I simply knew what he was but he didn't know what I am and he didn't understand my answer and it was met with silence. Check. Mate.
Mi Ex a covert narcissist had a extra marittal relationship with a overt narcissist for 8 years, they communicated each other several times along day, she obtained: flatters from him in every single message, the satisfaction to destroy a real woman and money. He had the satisfaction to be with a woman more suitable for his expectations (a blonde, with fake front and back, without corporal hair, more money). I could read how they planned multiple ways in order to sink me into the most horrible condition, she said to be religious, but both are monsters.
(If it is worth your time) What would you say about when a primary and a secondary psychopath come across each other? Would it also be submission by the secondary?
@@samvakninis this true in all cases? even if there is an income, intelligence, attractiveness and, social positionality gap that is not in the psychopaths favor?
What happens, if a narcissist comes across a person who actually has BPD but at the moment they meet, the Borderline is in her " Secondary Psychopath Mode" due to severe abuse ? Can a narcissist make a mistake in judgement and take her as a regular psychopath and behave towards her like towards the regular psychopath ( feel a real fear of her) or will he recognize (instinctively, intuitively )that in fact he is dealing with just a wounded prey and instantly feel the automatic need to use and abuse her even more?
Will an overt narcissist and a covert narcissist always be friends and feed off each other for supply? My mom is a covert narcissist and her sister is an overt narcissist and they fed off each other. Will they eventually they turn on each other or will they always work together to manipulate?
I experience the uncanny valley effect occasionally with my mother. Now less than in the past. This happens when she puts on a facade, which makes her seem extremely inauthentic to me. It's almost as if my actual mother has disappeared. In such moments I can't help but feel repulsed by her. Luckily she also has a different side to her, where her defenses drop. Then she is naive, almost child-like and very likeable. I have often wondered whether she is a narcissist. What do you think?
I have that ability to spot a narsisit. My husband does not believe me, so, we end up with weirdoes in the house and they instantly hate me. I love the food chain. Of course!
Would I have been able to rescue my narcissistic father from the covert narcissist (psychopath?) he married after my mother died? That woman made him miserable. Ten years later he was dead (I believe poisoned.)
No it isn't. You are misunderstanding what the uncanny valley is. You feel it around a narcissist because you can see the narcissist trying to simulate and approximating normal human behavior, (you can see it if you look long enough; the illusion of their superficial charm doesn't hold up over time) and failing at it. But autistic people are not trying to be or look normal, they aren't attempting to simulate normality- they don't care about and are most of the time not even aware of how odd they are, that is what makes them autistic. Narcissists are trying to be normal and failing at it; autistic people are NOT trying to be normal and most of the time they aren't even aware of their abnormality.
Great idea except I don't have a selection of narcissists or psychopaths in my contact list. I think I will keep it that way. Those people are not going to come anywhere near my family or friends.
When narcissists meet each other they sit in the Parliamentary chamber for the minimum required time, then go home.
😂😂😂😂
Accurate
Sociopaths*
Introducing narcissists to other narcissists will be my lifetime hobby now... 😂
😂😂😂
Mine too. Fun fun.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'd prefer to introduce a narcissist to a psychopath or vice versa 😅
😂😂
All narcissists should get together and leave us honest folk alone. Let them cheat and cause chaos together
@@maelang2004Everybody needs love and support, but not everybody needs and/or wants Jesus, which is also a perfectly respectable decision.
@@Bingusaurus everyone needs the Gods but nobody wants or believes or knows this fact.
2 narcissist can never last together 💩🤡🤡
@@Healinglove they last for so long and they out do each other while both know what each other are capable of but your right it’s a 💩 show 🤣🤣
@@maelang2004 no one has time for them especially if we have babies too them cause they can’t be loved or give love. Also most don’t want help there happy cheating and sitting on dating sites behind there partner’s back
There's no better feeling than when Sam Vaknin posts a video about the very questions you've been wondering about.
😂😂😂
Totally 😂 And if I may add to your point: there’s no more self-evaluating than when Sam Vaknin posts a video and you realise you’d have been wondering about this a few years ago, but now probably know what he’ll be saying, given the hundreds of hours of you’ve spent watching his videos - but you watch it anyway because you enjoy them so much. Result of self-evaluation: I’ve now spent more time learning about disorders than I did on my degrees in art, literature and history… I’m a dumb-dumb for not instead doing a degree in psychology, writing and illustrating as a hobby ☹️
Yes, now my curiosity is satisfied, thanks professor 🎉
Aaaamen
Well, I've been thinking about that, just today again, so I guess TH-cam read my mind like usually does.
So weird because grandiose narcissists often (this happened recently) react to me as described they would react to a psychopath. And it is strange to see these blusterous egos suddenly almost thank me for being there. Not all of them, some are just on guard with me which is fair. I’m not a psychopath though but I am very sensitive to the power plays and I guess I’m calm and confident, so it’s possible they just get like that when they don’t feel they can win the status game? I don’t know, it’s all complex. I do tend to like overt narcissists though, they are often very clever and like it when it’s recognised but it’s hard spending too much time with them as everything turns towards some imaginary battle they are having with someone, struggling to dominate them in their mind it seems, obsessed with some previous slight all the time.
Haha! "To see if you deal with a narcissist - just simply inroduce him/her to another narcissist and see what happens"! 🤣
Yeah, like we have them at our disposal !! Or like we try to meddle and test people like they do !! ??
@@FreeDharmasanghawe do have them at our disposal. chances are if you dated one, you probably have some narc friends too. lowkey.
Then they put their personal differences aside and form an alliance to destroy YOU, if you aren't one of them.
iv seen it and saw one winning and one begging it was too much fun ..iv never felt more
happier watching that !
Not really. You have to educate and train yourself to see narcissists and psychopaths.
A psychopath will manipulate the narcissist with ease. The psychopath will destroy the narcissist. Narcissistic people are way too miserable and self obsessed while a psychopath don't care. They just have fun with people. They can keep their cool. A narcissist can't.
Can I pet that dog on your profile?
That gut feeling is real. I was an affair for a narcissist last year and in the beginning I had a feeling in my gut like „invasive darkness“ but I ignored it because he was so cute in his behaviour and I had no idea about narcissism. And I had a feeling like he’s mentally ill and disabled somehow but I didn’t know how. Because he was very intelligent, he’s a scientist and very good in speaking so I was absolutely confused about my own feelings…It’s awesome how intuition warns you!
ikr intuition is 100 percent real, i ignored my intuition..it was bad, i got a narc friend..anyways were not friends anymore. she would call herself pretty and tell that everyone is obsessed with her like BRUH
Omg I had exactly the same thought when I first met my ex narc, mentally disabled 😮. I've never heard anyone else say that and I'd never felt that before.
I like to describe them as people where there’s something off but you can’t quite put your finger on it!! But my gut always does backflips with them!!
never ignore the little voice😜
I think I've witnessed this at a workplace. The conversation between the two got louder to a point where it was comical. I had to leave as I was struggling to not laugh out loud.
Does anyone find that narcissists tend to be quite miserable people who lack humour? They take themselves way too seriously.
They lack humour and find nothing you say funny yet think everything they say is funny or they could be a comic. Truely delusional.
some are charming but not forever as the mask wears off. After that they're like sandpaper, but they also get bored very easily and you have to endlessly entertain them.
Some have a good sense of humor.
I don't agree. Keep in mind, that humour is a great instrument to manipulate and to deceive people. There are some candidates in the comedy scene, who I think could be narcissists.
I met a woman, who was possibly an covert narcissist, and who was extremely funny. Every man fell in love with her.
@@GermanTafferThe word is severely misused today as well. What people call "narcissism" in some cases is little more than intellect and recognition of the lack of it in the surroundings, and the eventual disgust for the situation.
But it gets used as a general cover for anyone with an opinion today.
"My narcissist can beat up your narcissist."
😂 like dogs, gotta keep a few around for different purposes, these seem like awfully useful personalities in a tribe setting, like let's be honest, it works way better with that tight knit, psychopathy us vs them thinking 😂
loooool
😂
😂🤣🙃
😂
Narcissists aren't human. They just look human.
The most exhilarating human interaction I’ve ever witnessed was between a loud, violent, highly respected/feared narcissist and a quiet unassuming psychopath! Both were nasty people in their own cluster B ways!! But the psychopath had him dancing to his tune without uttering a word…. It is a joy to behold because a narcissist can never win this battle, a psychopath sees everyone’s flaws and knows how to trip you up! It wasn’t fun being the piggy in the middle… both of them wanted to control me, it was pretty scary for a few years to say the least. The police had their work cut out for them, but even they will respect the psychopath over the sneaky narc!!
So many lightbulb moments watching today's video. Thank you for addressing this Professor. Having witnessed this interplay between actors for years, and not understanding at the time what was going on, I so appreciate your analysis and your amusement/humor. Quite the Theatre of the Absurd. Once living in the thick of narcissistic family, spouse, in-laws, and partners, I now live by the rule: "When I see Narcissism, I don't need to stay and figure it out. Not my circus, not my monkey."
Yeah, I do tend to cut with supply. It's interesting how come you get older the amount of people you encounter become more and more obviously despaired for supply, when the bravado and hubris goes down there is only sadness and despair left.
Well done. Keep strong boundaries and shut them out completely. You can't give them the slightest opportunity.
very accurate about narcissus and psychopath. one of my relatives is a grandiose narcissist and the other is a psychopath. Narcissus does not allow himself to be manipulated in the presence of a psychopath, who immediately puts him in his place. All its grandeur evaporates. I note that a psychopath is more effective in life. Both of them caused me a lot of injuries in my childhood. Creepy people.
How does that psychopath put narcissist in their place ?
@@celestialstar8115by beign the unhinged, unrafined, urge quencing, not caring, manipulative, projecting and insane asshole he is?
@@celestialstar8115 Automatically, I assume, no tactics or anything like that, but simply because there is no attack surface. The mere presence may be enough. Which makes me think about the narcissistic psychopath I had to deal with years ago... very difficult. So I'm separating there, but I don't know if that's medically correct at all. Psychopaths don't necessarily have to have other mental disorders, at least as I see it.
@@svenboelling5251 this was hard to understand. Could you please explain better? What do you mean no attack surface and presence may be enough?
@@celestialstar8115 I can't tell you all my experiences in detail that led me to this statement.
I probably didn't understand the comment quite right, I wanted to say that the psychopath doesn't have to do anything extra to put the narcissist in his place.
The psychopath simply doesn't have the weak points where a narcissist could attack.
But the narcissist has plenty of it.
Anyway, in my opinion, both are weak. Emotions/Empathy are a double-edged sword, they just can't handle it and they don't want to take the risk of injury.
But that's a topic in itself.
Anyway, I can't explain it well right now.
I'm a narcissist and I immediately know when I'm speaking with another person with a dark triad personality. I don't quite know whether they are narcissists, psychopaths or sociopaths - but I know they are one of them. Psychopaths are the easiest to spot because flattery doesn't work on those people. It is absolutely true that the psychopath is the apex predator- none of the tricks narcissists use will work on them, they can't be manipulated in any way, it is best to completely avoid those people. In general though, we don't really interact with each other - we all know our tricks don't work on each other so we stay out of each others way.
I don't really know how we can tell that we are speaking with another dark triad person, but I think a lot of it is to do with the eyes. When I talk with a normal person, I can see that they are thinking about what to say next when I'm speaking. A dark triad person will look directly at me, they will see how their words affect my actions, they will focus on making me perform some action or make me say something. The feeling is completely different from speaking with a normal person. A conversation with a normal person is all about them, they hardly listen to what I say - a dark triad person will focus intensely on your words and your body language, when you speak with a dark triad, they don't care what they talk about, they are completely focusing on you. The feeling is just completely different and it's immediately noticeable since when I talk with another dark triad, the conversation is akward because we aren't saying anything, we are both just focused on the other person.
On a side note, I once decided to enter the business world and move to an upper management position. 90% of the people I had to work with were psychopaths. I can see that virtually all the politicians on TV are dark triads - so it doesn't really matter who you vote for, or which side you are on...almost all the politicians are dark triads and you shouldn't trust any of them. None of the politicians believe a single word they say, they are just all manipulating you to gain power and money. If they ever help you, it is purely by accident.
Totally agree. Why do we have them?
Agreed.
I compare it to the „gay radar/gaydar“ homosexuals have. You simply recognize your own kind.
Yep nothin new there. All politicians are dirtbags regardless of being psychopaths anyway. Also I’m just wondering, is it a choice to be a narcissist? And why?
thanks for your insight
And yet, narcissists can be tremendously effective in making others believe they're totally sincere and well-meaning.
My ex-girlfriend was this way.
One give away is that if they have to tell you that they’re an “empath” then they most likely are not.
Let people’s actions do the talking…
@GG-mx9fj Yes. A psychologist told me years ago to be wary of people who tell you what qualities you should attribute to them because it's likely that they have an issue with that characteristic. She called it "traction," and used honesty as an example. If someone has to tell you they're honest, you'd be wise to consider that maybe they're not.
I witnessed it! It was glorious to behold. My former flat mate sublet one room to me. He was a thumping narcissist and believed he was the most interesting, intelligent creature on earth. His resume was 30 pages long. To him, I was a pair of ears created to listen to his endless bragging. He was in his 60s and had a 25 year old " girlfriend" whom he adored. He was married when they met. He dumped his wife for her, then cheated on her. In revenge she cheated and had a baby.
During COVID, he decided to move her into our townhouse. She regularly snuck her baby daddy in for trysts, beat him up, insulted him, called him a pedo behind his back, even had a DUI and totalled his car...... that's not even half of it. I moved out within weeks. The building superintendent says they still have regular beat down, drag out fights and the neighbors are fleeing. This man is a maths professor at McGill University here in Canada. Oh, and our next door neighbor was a psychiatrist! That's how I found out that they were both narcissists.
Math teachers are pretty up in the scale. Grothendieck mentions the average mathematician in his harvest and seed essay/ memoir... Some are definitely good, others a nonsensical mess that have been around way too long.
It's funny you should say that. A friend from college is a math teacher. He was a creeping horror in college, and it only got worse, as he got older...
Nice
Fun place to live
You’ve perfectly described the feeling I got first few times I saw my ex. Was in a group setting
Something unnatural… hard to ignore.. couldn’t pin point what it was
Didn’t wanna judge a book by its cover. I learned the hard way😂😂
Professor Sam is just the best at describing narcissism , he has opened my eyes and helped me understand what I couldn’t understand for many years, thank you so much Dr Vaknin !
This is the first time I‘ve heard a real explanation for why the uncanny valley effect exists in humans
Wow! This explains something I never understood. When I got married my narcissist mother who never treated any family member genuinely good, just fell all over my husband. She treated him like gold. Ran errands fur him. Brought him food when he was sick. Checked in on him. I was so confused. He turned out to be very bad news. She knew it. She didn't mind the suffering he put me through. I rather think she enjoyed it. But she did cower to him.
Thank you for your brilliant work ❤🎉.
This is an amazingly good video. My father could be classified as an overt narcissist and my mother as a covert one. She manipulates my father to no end, and he's kind of clueless on what she's constantly doing until he blows up in a rage and gets his way on some things that she can blind him to. She is insanely machiavellian in everything she does, especially now as many people try to keep away from them, including family, so she has to be even more cunning. I try to minimise my contact with her to just a few minutes every few weeks on the phone (so they won't make problems in my current life) and I've moved 2 continents away from them as they are so toxic. I'm living in a country in which it's extremely difficult for them to get to. My older brother is also a covert narcissist. The arguments between them when I was young took place all day every day and you could hear them while walking up the street from many houses away.
The video gives such a great explanation of how my father deals with actual psychopaths though. Most people are terrified of my father, or at least fawning to him until they realise he's a pretty unbalanced guy that should probably be avoided. However, I was always amazed when he'd come across someone who I felt was a psychopath. He would instantly become fawning himself. The funny thing is, these people didn't always have to be incredibly strong people or dangerous people. Sometimes it could just be someone that had a lot of power or abilities in other ways. I think it comes from the fact that his father very much sounds like a psychopath or at least a violent enough alcoholic. Or it's one of the reasons. I can see in my niece that she takes after my father a lot while she has been completely spoiled and never subjected to trauma (so there is definitely some of this in the genes). She was just never disciplined to stop her being a bully, etc. She comes out with ruthless insults to people, even from about the age of 5, whereas she was never around people like that. They also lived in a different country to my parents.
Rough way to grow up. I'm glad you were able to get away from that situation.
Good video. Had a client that just rubbed me the wrong way, something felt inhuman and sure enough she tried getting me to do many favors for her and even asked me to go on a trip with her… I don’t know her. I told her no to everything and I haven’t heard from her since.
@@em7937 It seems that some narcs do ask favors early on in a potential relationship to see how compliant or empathic you might be. It’s a test.
From my observance when narcissists &/or psychopaths get together in social settings, a lot of distorted reminiscing & boasting occurs, together with the large consumption of alcohol & other recreational drugs.
You are amazing, thank you, I feel like I am in therapy and Im healing! (slowly)
Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin❤
This explains my whole family dynamic, my grandfather was a probably a psychopathic p3d0, my mother is an overt narcissist and my father is a covert narcissist. I always wondered how two narcissists could be together because there wouldn't be a codependent for supply. Interesting how this works.
Brilliant, yes it cannot be reduced to words if you don't know about narcissism. You can do it if you know, but the reactions of others to the narcissist description ranges from indiference to against you not the narcissist 😅 This happens for the reason that a normal people simply cannot belive that a narcissit is what he really is. That is beyond a normal person senses and understanding of the reality.
Its so great to have an online resource for why your home life was so weird during your childhood. As they say on the mean streets of the US of A, Sam is the homie.
Oh yes, this strange feeling. As if you saw a mannequin in a shop and for a millisecond you thought it was a real person ;) But it's those narc's eyes as if they were about to punish you for being human. And then you try to convince yourself that you are the one who is obsessed
👏👏👏
Wow…. What a chilling yet accurate description. These eyes are robotic. My girl’s first reaction when she saw him. „Robot pretending to be a human.. trying his best to deliver human emotions, sell stories that will prove he’s a human, but he’s not”.
@@Luke-pn3dr Terrible feeling 100%. Honestly, I've read so many descriptions of narcissists, but I'd still lie to myself that maybe it is just my perception of things not trusting the first impression. Which is very sad, thinking about stories of people who were deceived by them and now have broken families and hard life
@@Sound-Eater my first words.. coming out of my mouth about them „that’s a person who get’s what they want even if it means he has to walk over peoples corpses” it more of a saying in my country. Kind of like „to your goal.. stomping on corpses”.. basically someone who doesn’t care about anyone or anything but him and his goals. Well my instinct did not let me down. Most of the times I identify these mannequins just fine. One I identified and refused to work with.. 6months later he was a fugitive who stole a ton of money.. then they caught him and he ended up in prison. There are a loooot of crazies out there. I’m preety sure the statistics are wrong on just how many. They are talking only on those who were identified and diagnosed.
@@Luke-pn3dr Maybe we are from the same country, because we also say that in Poland, or it's just a coincidence. I think it's just easier when someone is blunt/rude and you see this typically narcissistic behavior every day - pure manipulation for own purposes. Sometimes it's just hard to discover a true motivation. I'm afraid that I don't notice something and I justify someone's behavior with good intentions, where it may be a cover narcissist. Not sure if it was a professor Vaknin or someone else, but mentioned 15% of humanity as narcissists. That's definitely a lot... Professor once said that the number of them increased much more in the early 1980s
I work in the film business (most would consider it ground zero for vapid narcissism) and nowhere can you see this more instantly than when you see two or more Boomer special effects people conversing with each other. One-up this… one-up that… one did a bigger show this… one did a bigger show that… any jokes made amongst them would be of the antagonistic nature.
This especially goes for my father (who worked in the field until he retired several years ago). Every word out of his mouth was intended either to build him up or to tear others down.
The film industry isn't overcrowded by narcissists? I am very curious! I don't expect them in the car workshop or accounting.
@@GermanTaffer most car guys are narcs tho....
@GermanTaffer Ground Zero in this context means the opposite of no narcissists. It's a place with a disproportionately high amount of pathologically disordered individuals.
@@rubievale Many thanks for your explanation. 👍I had indeed a wrong impression of "ground zero". Sounds not like an easy life for you.
É exatamente assim. Eu achava que era apenas impressão minha em relação a esses Boomers.
Once again, thank you Professor. You never cease to provide valuable insights on both Narcissists and Psychopaths.
I've been so many times targeted by narcissists. It became like a job to disable them or their acts. And I can ensure when you present an narcissist to another narcissist they come along. It's only in two cases they will go one against the other:
1)You are their potential prey and they want to feed on you in different ways (or if both want scams you from all your money)
2)They are both grandiose narcissists. They hate each other, because they want all the lights on them; it happens often with notorious economists;
or like actual American, French, and Brazilian presidents (many more dirigent around the world are narcissistic). The fact is when they arrive at power, they put in place one of their promises, and then enjoying the population struggling and suffering, pretending it isn't easy to change things. And you can see the two last Americans presidents, the Chinese, Russian and few other aren't narcissist (in pervert way), because when there is a major problem incoming, they try to solve it in any way possible, even if sometimes those ways aren't very appropriate. A narc president will let the situation get worse before thinking eventually to arranging it (of course they like to feed on person's despair).
one of my longest and most toxic platonic friendships was with a female covert narcissist (I’m male/grandiose). genuinely television-worthy drama unfurled around us constantly. we love-hated each other into nothingness
At least you are aware😂.
That's just called simping...
Male BPD diagnosed as an adult and conduct disorder diagnosed as a kid, so subclinical ASPD is probs there.
Dated a woman who claimed too have bpd. She defs was covert narc 😭 projected so much shit onto me, always questioning my Masculinity 🤣 basically this should be you're biggest give away boys, of she does this, she's a fem fatale, don't fall for the fucking fantasy 😂
All you have is power, and women like the chase even more when they are grandiose inclined, my god stay mysterious boys 😂
Into nothingness. How very true.
- [00:01] 🧠 Understanding the Uncanny Valley reaction: When encountering a narcissist, individuals often experience an unexplainable discomfort or threat that stems from perceiving the narcissist as an inadequate imitation of a human being.
- [01:10] 🤖 The Narcissist as a glitchy simulation: The term "Uncanny Valley" originated from robotics and describes the discomfort people feel when faced with human-like robots that are close but not quite human. Similarly, narcissists may come across as flawed imitations of genuine humans, leading to unease.
- [03:38] 🔍 Denying the Uncanny Valley reaction: Despite sensing something wrong, individuals might ignore their gut instincts when dealing with narcissists, sometimes due to loneliness or the promises of success offered by the narcissist.
- [04:39] 🤝 Interaction between overt narcissists: When overt narcissists meet, they engage in immediate competition and one-upmanship, demonstrating immaturity and ego-driven behavior.
- [06:12] ⚠ Overt narcissists vulnerable to covert narcissists: Paradoxically, overt narcissists, who view themselves as superior, can become victims of covert narcissists due to their stealthy and manipulative nature.
- [07:23] 🦁 Overt narcissists submit to psychopaths: In encounters with psychopaths, overt narcissists immediately recognize and submit to their dominance, displaying obedience and catering to their needs.
- [08:52] 🧪 Using interactions as diagnostic tools: Observing how different types of personalities react to each other can serve as a litmus test for diagnosing narcissistic or psychopathic tendencies.
Thank you.
It is like a new governing system. Except that it is very old. We are just uncovering it's dynamics. I am warn out. Phew!
Thank you for sharing!
This explains a lot of my questions. ✨🙏
Do narcissist recognize narcissist better than normal person
Yes.
Yes, indeed. I am a person with strong narcissistic traits (NPD not confirmed, but probably no) and in therapy. When I wasn't aware of my condition, there was one overt narcissist at my job. Since day one we started a feud, constantly trying to outsmart and one up each other, exactly as described in the video. All the while we pretended to be friends, while constantly making rude jokes and laughing at each other's expense. Two narcissists are like spiders in a jar. I wasn't afraid of him, despite the guy being musch stronger, but I've met some psychopaths in my life and I was terrified of them, also as described by Vaknin.
This gives me and incredible insight of how when I met my husband 2 years ago , on our second date when he invited me to stay longer with him , even he was very “nice and kind” I felt the most scary feeling in my stomach I felt in seconds the need to run as fast as I could, I sweat , felt adrenaline and actually tried to leave but as I was taking steps away from him he took my hand and said “please your gonna make me very sad if you leave” with his sad weird face from him.. and I guess I was trying to make myself Belive that I was exaggerating and that he was a very good kind man and I should give it an opportunity for me to not judge without knowing him better. and here I am in another country all by myself in a domestic violence shelter for 4th time in two years , already starting a divorce and making all the plans to go back to Mexico and stay away from him as much as I can because I know he persuades me all the time into his trap but he will never change his personality… Narcisist I guess now is called
@@paulbarker5915 seems like almost everyone has better reality testing than a narcissist. They probably can't find chinks in your armour that they find in others, like emotionality.
Battle of the ego's...
Thank you for talking in dept about these very interesting scenarios, this content can't be found elsewhere.😊😊
Both my father and aunt were grandiose narcissists. Their interaction played out exactly like Prof. Vankin described. I also had the displeasure of having a covert narcissist mother. The interaction between her and my father also played out exactly like Prof. Vankin described. My ex-wife was a psychopath. The interaction between her and my covert narcissist mother was exactly as described by Prof. Vankin.
Vaknin.
What happens when two covert narcissists encounter each other.
It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I think it goes like when those construction transformers get together , and they assemble into a larger more destructive robot
I know many people say they know narcissists/psychopaths even if they're not certain, but there is no doubt with the ones I knew at a point in my life. I was once "held hostage" in a fight where two sick individuals yelled at each-other about a completely nonsense topic in the middle of a very crowded public place. It was such an extreme fight since both of them were very extreme cases. I knew one of them was a narc because he had severely abused his own siblings growing up, the other I figured later when he personally told me he wanted to abuse children and had no regrets (he might even be a psycho), but he had always shown red flags. Those types of people really leave a mark. I can really vouch for making them meet, after a few times you will definitely know if the one you're unsure about is a narc.
Spontaneous combustion. ;). Like coming across your mirror image suddenly and being unsettled: can this be me?
Absolutely fascinating
I'm dying to know what happens when 2 psychopaths meet
My narcissist daughter and narcissist ex have hated each other from just meeting each other for 5 minutes
When I was with my Narc ex wife. I was "allowed" only 1 freind. Took me years to work out why. Hes a Narc as well.
Fascinating topic. Thanks Sam.
Thank you, this video was great
This one blew me away, so true, and very helpful. It was a giant light bulb for me :)
Interesting.
My best friend is a narcissist and I've always found him pretty much harmless and agreeable.
I was diagnosed as a functional sociopath as a child, so maybe antisocial personality disorder people do interact decently with each other, if the dynamics are right.
I'd never really given it too much thought.
That's exactlly how I reacted to my narcissist ex. I could never explain it since he didn't do much, but I still felt it and ignored it.
I m suffering from NPD. I had been into relationship with a girl who was also suffering from NPD.
Regular fights, drama each day
I'm a counselor. I work with clients suffering from NPD, BPD and ASPD.
Do you know what variant you're diagnosed with?
My previous partner would state that I was changing ( even smelling different ) and “ turning alien” this was the start of the devalue stage , in reality it was him that was the “ alien” pretending to be a person
Very interesting. Thank you for sharing. : )
I felt at home the first time i met them.
Julius Caesar meets Hitler kinda scenario? In daily lives, Narc Mom meets another Narc Mom maybe?
I myself struggle a lot to express and read emotions properly, and hence I’m often unable to build up normal relationships. My emotions are mainly superficial , only really strong feelings come through to my consciousness. However, I don’t think I’m too much on the spectrum but there are tendencies.
In spite all of that, I am still able to distinguish between right and wrong, and I can for the most part participate normally in society.
Even though some people possess these traits, doesn’t mean that they are complete monsters or one should be worried about. Most people perceived the right upbringing and are indeed able to tell when their actions are harming someone.
I have always wondered about this. How do narcissists relate with one another? Very insightful. Thank you.
😄 Thanks Professor.
Great video!
Thank you Sam! So true , so true! I’m almost daily observing what you are describing about PND and thank also to Y I’m laughing too .They are indeed super trooper manipulator but knowledge & experience also to makes you wiser . I’m wondering… according to epigenetic knowledge all that personality disorders might be fixed and reversed. Every 7 years we’re like new ones but that’s require daily mental & physical work on oneself . What your thoughts on that? Sending to you blessings & positive vibes 🤗
My mother, a covert narcissist, gets along well with her elder brother, which is an overt narcissist. I have always got a sense that there is something not "right" about their demeanor, ever since I was a teen, until I stumbled upon the term NPD on the internet in my late 30s.
They make sure who is the boss. Hackordnung - like between chickens
Im just here for a narc fix, but i could quit at any time
😂
I hate to admit it but I score highly on the psychopathic scale and I attract covert narcissists all the time it's like they love being punished. While it is true that I can sense their loser mentality from the get go cause there is something deep deeply pathetic about them which triggers my "let's play this game" - part of the brain, maybe that is my own love for supply? After a couple of months it becomes repetitive and too predictable and it stops. I noticed they hate the way they cannot predict or influence my actions. When my last ex stayed a couple of weeks with me he was vomiting from anxiety every day because not being able to control or manipulate you is something seemingly deeply triggering. No matter how often he tried to tell me "I am not your enemy" Or "I am not against you, why won't you get emotionally close with me" or "Why can't you open up to me" I told him "because I will always be one step ahead of you". I simply knew what he was but he didn't know what I am and he didn't understand my answer and it was met with silence. Check. Mate.
Wow, that sounds boring
I wonder about the borderline dynamic here as well and how to tease that apart from the covert narcissism.
Thank you for a very informative segment Sam ❤
Overt narcissists publicly submit to psychopaths? Thats wild wtf
narcissists are fragile and easily triggered, psychopaths have no negative emotions.
@@TickleMeTimbers that's what I mean, easily triggered but they submit publicly? Wouldn't they be more likely to snap and fly into a rant
Vaknin videos rock my box
Mi Ex a covert narcissist had a extra marittal relationship with a overt narcissist for 8 years, they communicated each other several times along day, she obtained: flatters from him in every single message, the satisfaction to destroy a real woman and money. He had the satisfaction to be with a woman more suitable for his expectations (a blonde, with fake front and back, without corporal hair, more money). I could read how they planned multiple ways in order to sink me into the most horrible condition, she said to be religious, but both are monsters.
(If it is worth your time) What would you say about when a primary and a secondary psychopath come across each other? Would it also be submission by the secondary?
Yes.
@@samvakninis this true in all cases? even if there is an income, intelligence, attractiveness and, social positionality gap that is not in the psychopaths favor?
narc meets narc ... trust your gut feeling about a person.
I would love to see more in-depth analysis of dynamics between covert & grandiose narcissists
Search the channel for “odd couple”.
Hell break loose. Fun to watch when you battling fire with fireball.
What happens, if a narcissist comes across a person who actually has BPD but at the moment they meet, the Borderline is in her " Secondary Psychopath Mode" due to severe abuse ? Can a narcissist make a mistake in judgement and take her as a regular psychopath and behave towards her like towards the regular psychopath ( feel a real fear of her) or will he recognize (instinctively, intuitively )that in fact he is dealing with just a wounded prey and instantly feel the automatic need to use and abuse her even more?
Secondary psychopathy doesn't resemble primary psychopathy at all.
Will an overt narcissist and a covert narcissist always be friends and feed off each other for supply? My mom is a covert narcissist and her sister is an overt narcissist and they fed off each other. Will they eventually they turn on each other or will they always work together to manipulate?
I experience the uncanny valley effect occasionally with my mother. Now less than in the past. This happens when she puts on a facade, which makes her seem extremely inauthentic to me. It's almost as if my actual mother has disappeared. In such moments I can't help but feel repulsed by her. Luckily she also has a different side to her, where her defenses drop. Then she is naive, almost child-like and very likeable. I have often wondered whether she is a narcissist. What do you think?
Many other disorders can have narcissistic tendencies... I'd guess your mom has borderline personality disorder or cptsd.
I'm no expert but that does sound like the cycle of a covert narcissist to me
@@PeterB12345 Thanks for your input. I will have to read up on that.
If you’re like Harry & Meghan you feel like you’ve met your soul mate.
How about when 2 covert narcissists come together?
Is it the same as 2 overt?
Yes.
I wonder what would unfold when borderline meets a covert narcissist, or two covert narcissists.
I have that ability to spot a narsisit. My husband does not believe me, so, we end up with weirdoes in the house and they instantly hate me. I love the food chain. Of course!
Professor, what if a covert narcissist meets another covert narcissist? Thank you for the insights, much appreciated!!!
Lmbo. This is my husband and his siblings. Put them in a room together. It's 😂😂😂... Competition galore..
Yes, and on thfe right day,as well!
Would I have been able to rescue my narcissistic father from the covert narcissist (psychopath?) he married after my mother died? That woman made him miserable. Ten years later he was dead (I believe poisoned.)
Hey! Hey! Hey! Who you calling subliminally psychopathic? 😂😂😂Truth, so much fun observing narcissists interacting
So basically top management in any corporation.
This "valley" is also felt by NTs when they meet ASD person 😢
No it isn't. You are misunderstanding what the uncanny valley is. You feel it around a narcissist because you can see the narcissist trying to simulate and approximating normal human behavior, (you can see it if you look long enough; the illusion of their superficial charm doesn't hold up over time) and failing at it. But autistic people are not trying to be or look normal, they aren't attempting to simulate normality- they don't care about and are most of the time not even aware of how odd they are, that is what makes them autistic. Narcissists are trying to be normal and failing at it; autistic people are NOT trying to be normal and most of the time they aren't even aware of their abnormality.
@ElizabethKing-s8r I know, I am AuDHD person myself, thank you for replying 🙏
Fascinating!
I work with a married couple, he is narcissist with signs of psycopath, she is only narcissist. That is awful
Loce his giggles😂
Fantastic!
Great idea except I don't have a selection of narcissists or psychopaths in my contact list. I think I will keep it that way. Those people are not going to come anywhere near my family or friends.
Out of curiosity: What was it, when you met Richard G.? ;)
What about when a covert narcissist meets another covert narcissist?
What about a psychopath & another psychopath?
🥶
Interesting. I have witnessed two narcissists behaving exactly as you described. Leads to the question: What happens when two psychopaths meet?