ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 พ.ย. 2016
- Singer/songwriter Kevin McCall confronts his mother about the anger and violence that she modeled for him throughout his childhood. For more on #FIXMYLIFE, visit WatchOWN.tv/Iyanla
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Kevin McCall Confronts His Mother's Anger and Violence | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN
/ own - บันเทิง
Sorry but his parents didn't raise him right. Treat ur kids badly and it will come back to bite you.
Everyone always blames the child and doesn't see how the actions the parents make causes it
Promise Smithee I agree 💯
I don't agree that a parent needs to acknowledge their bad parenting, they should but they don't "need" to. If you wait until someone acknowledges their wrong to you then you maybe stuck for a very long time. What if they died, or don't see their wrong are you going to continue to be a victim or are you going to move past it? My parents didn't acknowledge nothing...well maybe my mother a little but my father no that will not be happening so am I to live my life based on his lack of acknowledgement? No I am going to figure out how to live my life and be happy in it with or without their apology. We are responsible for our own lives once we become adults and trying to get someone to do what we think they should do is a waste of time and energy.
Sheila Jefferson I think there may be a misunderstanding. We can agree to disagree :-) I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving Shelia!
No misunderstanding but yes, you have a wonderful Thanksgiving also!
I know she's still abusive because she pulled one of those "if I meant to hit you I would have" lines. That's classic abuser speech right there!
She said that in reference to the father. We don’t know what the father put her through.
@@charlesgibson7299 Is that supposed to make it okay?
@@blackhaze7350 I don’t know. None of us has enough information to know. If the father was abusing her, then yes. If not, then no.
@@charlesgibson7299 If a women feels like something doesn’t go her way Doesn’t give her the right throw a knife at someone man or woman. If a man Threw a knife at a woman in the home will you use “we don’t know what goes on in the home” excuse or automatically accuse the man he’s the abuser which makes you a hypocrite???
@@KingComp67_-io3iz Like I said: we don’t have enough information to know. If the father was putting his hands on her, she had every right to defend herself with that knife. If you disagree with that, then you go ahead and support violence against women. That’s your right. I don’t support that. And I never will. If the father wasn’t putting his hands on her, she was wrong for throwing the knife. We don’t know enough about what happened to make a judgment call. Maybe y’all think y’all do. And that’s fine. I don’t.
I can't stand a parent that makes excuses after being a dead beat and horrible parent.
Tisha Pink I can't stand with people look at the family from the outside and make irrational comments spreading their ignorance in the air.
+Shawn McKenzie real talk
It looks like she was opening up pretty well, and she acknowledged where she went wrong. This response doesn't apply to her.
Tisha Pink he lying
That's part of the deadbeatness.
And even when confronted about her bad behavior she still cant say she was wrong.
THE KNOWLEDGE BEAST Don't you find most bad mothers never can admit that they're wrong. it's in breaded in them.
Daniel Bailey women are not responcibile for their actions. This is why the White Man don't want a woman president
THE KNOWLEDGE BEAST Not only that Which Is why I don't place a Woman to be above a Man in anyway.
THE KNOWLEDGE BEAST remind me of my mom
I know them 🙄and I’ll just say this some of you are great judges of character... I try my best to not make decisions that will cause my kids to grow up and say you are the reason... you created this monster.... Going to Christ doesn’t mean you’ve gone over night nor does it mean the damage you’ve done disappeared most Christians miss that
Kevin is beautiful but damaged...
Naketa Thomas
I see why he is so angry with his daughters mom Eva he has issues with woman because of his mom
HE'S 8N JAIL RIGHT NOW FOR BEATING ANOTHER WOMAN
Beautiful where?! Toxic is what he is
Lasheema Monroe, aesthetically pleasing lol, but scary his actions are, it’s hard to wish him well knowing he abuses women
I hope Iyanla can help him so he doesn't pass on this behavior onto his children.
The mom low key looks like Octavia Spencer
Keishafromdablock 💯
Yup
Keishafromdablock 🤣🤣🤣👌🏾
Yesss could be sisters..
Keishafromdablock I thought it was Octavia Spencer
I love Iyanla response to his mom reaction. You are angry - I'm angry - you make me pay for the behavior you demonstrated to me. Own it. Children are a reflection of their parents.
This seemed phony The mother did not seem genuine at all This is why Kevin still having issues She seems very judgmental and unaccountable In her core she still feels like she don’t have nothing to do with Kevin being the way he is Just disgusting smdh
Zee SharSaudiGoddess
"This seemed phony"
My thoughts exactly, good call, you went all the way the bottom of the truth.
Yes I couldn’t agree more! I can’t believe people are making excuses for her in the comments and saying well she admitted this. No! All she was doing was saying that yea she had an anger problem and she got “help.” Lol like “ yeaaa I did that.. soooo 🤷🏾♀️” is how she was looking and talking about it. Like all that matters to her is that she “found the lord” and “growth.” I don’t think she was genuine either or even fully understood in that moment all that she has done, it’s like she wants to fade anything out that she has done and what it has caused... and because she found her growth somehow all her actions and their consequences are wiped clean 🤦🏾♀️ lol smh
You just explained my mother to the T
She doesn’t want to accept accountability for her actions.
I agree and that is what creates that toxic viscous cycle. Acknowledgement is the first step! Some parents just can't do it. Go through this with my own parents. Finally moving on for myself.
Does she realize that he was a kids “before her growth.” Regardless of what time in her life he witnessed the negative behavior, her child still learned that behavior.
The traumas a child saw and felt is never "20 years ago". It is muscle memory forever.
He seems like a happy child again when he heard his mother's apology ❤️
I love shows where people have to face what they did. Pointing fingers is never going to get anybody anywhere.
he pointed the finger at her the whole time
Many parents like to hold their children too accountable for the deplorable stuff that they have done as criminals or as simply "bad people" without realizing that they themselves are mainly responsible for their upbringing.
Raimundotyy Laurencia
Raimundo Laurencia right
Exactly how she say you're too focused on who I was before growing yet that's who tf you were when raising me I didnt get these so called mature woman when I was having knives thrown around the house as a kid
This is so my mama. Kicked me out at 17 but left me in jail when I was stealing to have clothes and food.
Clearly he needs long-term treatment. He needs to heal so he can maintain healthy relationships with women and co-parent his children.
Facts!
to all the "thirsty" females out there, fine ain,t nothing if you are broken inside!!!!!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
"Females"?? You refer to women as 'females", tells a lot about your mentality.
Amen
@@BlkMagickGaia3 Now that's stupid. WTF
@@BlkMagickGaia3 be gone Karen.
Im sorry, but this man has amazing skin lol
Rico Marcel GAY
Uh oh. Another one with mommy issues. Now he can only take it like a girl. Rme
I agree (it’s not gay to compliment a guys skin)
You are right
Rico Marcel he has amazing everything...face, teeth, hair, lips...all of that!
All of these “he so fine” comments are blowing my mind! 😳🤨🧐🤯 To hell with looks when the behavior is trash! Anger and violence will make the best looking person look like a monster.
Unaltered Beauty Right. Smh
Girl bye you can acknowledge someone fine and also know they're damaged and in need of mental help
@LivingThe VeganLife right swear anybody said come give me babies lmao dude is fine and he got a couple fine brothers behind him too
Thank you for saying that! I was sickened by those comments!
ColouredNatural4c so we can’t be human and look? I’m asking for a friend lol
He grew up in a turbulent household. His mother and father really let him down.
So because she got a relationship with "the Lord" none of what she did matters anymore?? I don't get it.
the nerve 🙄
It does matter
A lot of born again Christians feel that way
My pops the same way 🤦🏾♂️
But will tell YOU to pray to your god to forgive you 😂😂😂
Now let’s talk about the apology you need to give to your daughter for dis owning her on social media
I always find it funny; how people in general. Once they "find Jesus" or "find the Lord" (You were lost, not them); they expect that all of their prior transgressions are wiped clean. As if Christianity, is a magic eraser.
That, or just saying, "I'm sorry" or "I have to live with what I've done"-as though that is all that is required.
Preach
Raymond Weston 20yrs is a long time for anyone to grow. Who doesn't pick up something from the adults around us. The point his mother made was that she has grown throughout the years. And that she has changed for the betterment of herself and her family. She has even learned from this experience... She has grown since then.
Brenda Scott When she first admits, to her transgressions; then she has changed and evolved. Until then; everything else out of her mouth, is "white washing" her past, under the banner of the cross.
Ummm ok. But when you're 30 years old nothing that happened in your past matters. You can't stand in front of a judge and say that I have a violent past because I saw my mother throw a knife. The world doesn't care about our childhoods. The world expects us to cope and thrive in spite of our past.
Why is it that bad parents think they can justify and dismiss their behaviors that affected their children by saying it happened a long time ago? That doesn't mean it didn't have a negative impact on your child. Smh.
the nerve, I was very mad
They know it but it's hard for them to swallow that they had something to do with their child's lack of growth and mistakes. Many parents don't want to see that, they can barely see their issues at hand.
Parents are stupid! He will grow with age and wisdom. But the damage is done! Now it's time for mom to look in the mirror! It's easy to build a strong man. It's hard to fix a broken one!
Hen Bee. agree with hard to repair a broken man...
Hen Bee True
Deep.
Hen Bee it’s not for everyone
He’s over 30 years old lol
he looked very happy to see his mom carrying the weight for his acts of violence.When Iyana pointed the finger at mom his face lit up like Christmas
Yeah!! I thought I was the only one that noticed that
@@priscillachristie8422 oh... believe me. I saw it too... the sickness of it all. Like what the hell?
Lol well it was a burden she passed down
I was looking for this comment.. lowkey kinda scary how he caught excitement tho.
Exactly!
Chris Brown needs this
lmao
Yes Yes yes
Promise Smithee he sure does
He goin go off on this woman. No, lol I think he is a nice guy like most black men but are put down by everyone.
Promise Smithee YES LORD HE DOES
I HAVE BEEN CLEAN AND SOBER FOR 23 YEARS!.
26 years from the post I just read on being 23 years. You're still sober, right?
I’m sorry but how is this relevant 😥
If you can acknowledge you learned a bad trait from your parents, you can take steps to unlearn that behavior.
Exactly...zero accountability...
@@iwalkawayfromlove3840 yeah it's as easy as quitting heroin after you are addicted to it for a long time. Easier said than done,
One step at a time. One can be done and so can the other.
Wow, you must be the perfect human huh?
This is why i left my son's dad. I didnt want him to see any fighting. I wanted him to be raised in a 2 parent household but i didnt want him traumatized for my selfishness. Thank God i left.
Same here
And he still beating the mess out of females. I'm glad I watched this while prego with my 1st born. Now I know my actions will shape his.
You didn't know that before you saw this?🤔
Don’t you hate when parents act like they don’t remember their behavior. No she don’t get that ... I can’t stand his mom and parents like her
he fine.... i kno thats besides the point..
IKR-but we have to say it anyway-LOL
Random Ish 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤❤✨✨
😁my words exactly.
Girl I was just about comment and say that. 😂😂 he is fine.
Tay Boone I don't see his beauty because he seems to be very angry and dangerous. I believe his mother and father played a major role in his violent behavior, but it seems that his rage is more towards his mother.
Iyanla doesn't let anyone off the hook. He can't unsee it he can't unhear it... Well done. Cos these born again ppl always act like, why you want to bring up the past, I'm different now. Iyanla says, Apologize. Love it
this is in a lot of black house hold's
jhiion4 truth be told, it’s every where. Black People’s problems are just the ones put on display
Jalen Law THANK YOUUU!!! 👏🏾👏🏾 I'm sick of everybody putting all the bad traits on black people when all races have them
And White, Mexican, Chinese, Russian, Sami, Honduran, Nee Zelander......
Sad but true
Very true!
He hasn't learned a damn thing. He's a sociopath. He finesses situations and manipulates people. He was saying what he needed to say.
Ingrid Bee exactly !!
Yep to be the victim basically he pulled a “well she did it too”
He learned from her. Point blank. Raise a child in violence then raise a violent child. We don’t realize how much damage can be done as parents
LivingThe VeganLife Exactly! Both his parents sound jacked up
@@GoddessEnergy0306 that's factual though how yall expect him to be any better than who raised him. A child that can grow up mature responsible kind with integrity in a home with knives being thrown is insanely rare. He got some growing to do for sure but he had all right in a therapy session to explain the root of his issues.
She'll never admit to her wrong doings. I hope he gets his life together and just severs ties
This man is so gorgeous.
This was truly a beautiful, heartwarming moment between a mother and a son. I don't watch this show but I think that's going to change real soon.
Well he still out here beating women and he looks borderline crazy
This is why We shouldn't expose our children to disfunction. Look what happens
He looks crazy but he is not. This is why they say everything ain't what it seems. He's a damaged souL that does not have the coping ability to be able to combat this character flaw of rage...and you cannot play both sides of the fence when it comes to which master you are choosing to serve....nobody is perfect and everyone needs to correct their character in one way or another.
Letmesaymypeace could be true. But he could also be a psychopath. They are very good at manipulating emotions
Barbara Augustin if y’all don’t shut the hell up, he in jail for putting his hands on yet another woman..That’s self growth for you losers
@N S don't need one to take a guess. Only need one to make an assumption.
Omg he's so freaking beautiful its unreal
The way his mother attempted to dismiss her horrific behavior, UGGGHHH... Parents make me so damn sick sometimes.
I love Iyanla more and more - she really lets no one off the hook and makes us all more empathetic and accountable
It’s her saying it was 20 years ago for me.
I don't think she's sorry. that's why religion is so awful. she said sorry to God instead of her children so now it's ok
Kindly keep religion out of it. Our Christian and Catholic brethren have their methodology and us Muslims have ours. Us Muslims have to seek the forgiveness of the person we offended first, then seek the guidance of God Almighty, on our path to becoming better and avoiding to make the same mistake. Peace
11
Lol...yea it's religious fault because somebody misuses it
Deep
@@TM-se5jf Nope, looknat religion like common law, civil law. But here, if you break it, you may be sentenced in this life and the next one. Simple.
@@marqiawalker2866 We try to stick to the truth the best we can. Blessings.
He needed to hear that, you could tell hes been waiting 20 years.
I just love you! You are doing so much work with our brothers and sister who are so broken for lifes reasons. God Bless you...and Thank you
YASSSSSSSSS SHE IS. THis women is showing us what God wants us to know. She is the Queen of QUEENS.
Kevin McCall is still crazy. He needs a part 2, 3, & 4.
😂😂😂😂😂
Rome wasn't built over night. And instead of your being Messy, Dishonoring, devaluing and Dismissive. Pray you don't do your kids the same way.
I was REALLY rooting for him...VERY disappointed in the follow-up...BUT I believe and pray for change in his life...He really seems to be a good guy unlike the other dude that left in a cowardly way .. You are a KING my Brutha. .Reclaim YOUR throne and YOUR life! # God Bless you my brutha...We ALL are praying for you
Kings don't beat their girlfriends
Latoya Harvey I think you are projecting here, other wise you would not be so defensive. A true king does not put their hands on any woman period. The only king worthy of honor is God not man.
Promise Smithee Projecting HOW? We as BLACK ppl can't continue to KILL, belittle nor stick our noses down on our own just bc you feel his sins are worst than yours....Take a look @ your hands baby girl, you got dirt on them too. We all have backslide numerous times BUT God forgives and DOESN'T judge...And you can point out and keep picking@ that ONE flaw you continue to preject...BUT EVERYBODY deserves to be given another chance . NOW, I DO NOT agree when ANY man puts his hands on a woman for w.e reason..Ijs, I feel that MY ppl are Kings and Queens...PERIOD ! And we ain't gotta get super DEEP about God...Bc I place NO man above thee
Amen Latoya Harvey
+Latoya Harvey I agree
I feel so sorry for him because he’s so handsome
Omg this one hit home. I'm in tears. I beg for forgiveness from my babies daily!!
Ugg she is so....smug. And Kevin sitting their with a smirk like “thank you, tell the people the truth”. They are not good after this mom’s fake apology.
Love it. Kevin seems like a sensible dude out of everyone in the house - he seems very willing to change. I hope that now he and his childrens' mother can work things out for his kids' sake.
You must DIDN'T read the follow-up ??
Latoya Harvey Sorry? I must didn't? What does that mean?
Latoya Harvey I haven't watched the most recent episode as yet. Only saw this clip so far.
It said that he has gone back to his old ways of being aggressive and acting out.
justcallme... Hmmm okay that's sad to hear. I'm watching an interview with him now. He seems a bit calmer. He mentioned getting counseling from Iyanla and some other people.
I’ve been saying this for years. It all starts at home.
Alot of parents are going to be held accountable for how these adults act today smh
Love Ms Iyanla 🖤 tough lady 😳
It is sad to me that this guy is so violent and abusive in his speech/actions and all people can talk about is how "fine" he is. Do better black people!
Before you have kids please acknowledge that they will be the worst and best reflection of you.
And he’s still damaged. Hope he heals one day
Dear Bro. Kevin McCall ..you are in alllll our Prayers!!!...Please reach back out to Iyanla..and all the STRONG BLACK MEN...who helped you get threw....Please don't. ..Black Slide...You! sir were our...FAVORITE!!! (Smile)...
I've always had sympathy for Kevin McCall because I just knew in my gut that his type of crazy was the result of childhood trauma, not a result of chemical imbalance or innate mean spiritedness. I also think he picks women that are like his mother when she was young. Attractive, feisty and not taking accountability.
This is why parents need to recognize their own faults. Nobody is perfect and just like children, parents also need to take responsibility for their wrong doings. Also, we need to pay attention on what goes on around the house, because it'll all fall on the kids. It's all about the kids. We need to do better.
"...me before my growth." Oh do I love that hopeful summary. Real. Yesterday. So glad I saw this today...thank you...all. Forgiveness for the flawed role modeling we do as parents...powerful.
yes because so many of us mess up and admitting it to our children start their healing
That’s why control myself in front of my daughter when I get mad. I don’t want her to learn it then become the person that I don’t want her to be
I feel for this man because she did not even properly apologize to him...This isn’t a grown man, that’s a traumatized child sitting in that chair...I hope he heals and can transition to being a healthier man...
Ayanla fix my alternator. That's what I need rn.
This mama and her son will never be the same again
Being brought up in a similar situation made me act the opposite. I didn’t want to be the screaming , yelling , hands flying boogie man to my own kids. He ain’t right regardless.
A violent parent is unfortunate but it doesn't excuse HIS behavior.
That was so beautiful the world would be able to heal, if we had more families, talking instead of blocking out the truth and not yelling because pain is all this world knows.We need peace now.
My mother is the same way. She has no regard nor care about how she was as a mom affected me as a woman and parent. But she constantly comes down on me
You can't teach your son how to behave badly "20 years ago" and expect to be able to run and hide from him when he becomes the monster you created.
kevin my have learnt that from his parents but at some point as a young man you have friends that you see how they treat their parents he could have learnt from that so it is no excuse for his behavior plus you ONLY get ONE mother and to see ANY man mistreat their Mother makes me angry cause they have their mothers..and i don't a Mother is Another special gift from God cherish her cause you don't get another
That's beautiful...i pray that the art of healing and forgiveness as demonstrated here in this video should glow thru every home and every prison
We don't have a right as parents to tell our children what hurts and what don't .
Powerful is what this is
Hi own! We (caribbean viewers) need to be able to get your channel. Salivating over each of these snippets. We need some more Iyanla in our lives lol. Hope can be able to view more soon
Powerful and uplifting to see the work in action. Healing is a wonderful thing that makes us better people all around. Thank you Iyanla.👍
This healing scene made me cry, you have a chance to change everyday 💕
I don't understand why people go onto these shows to get so called help but after the show they just go back into their crumby ways..like what's the point. you might as well go on Love & Hip hop.
Daniel Bailey thats cuz well people need to maintain therapy it mental maintenance
but y on tv thoe its a private matter
MVJ PATTINSON very true i wouldnt be on 📺 doin this...
MVJ PATTINSON idk why they on tv doin this its beyond me... not for the the world to kno. only you your fam who is in therapy and therapist......
Have your life be publicized and we'd see how fast this comment would be erased.
The apology should’ve been first thing
Powerful! I empathize with both of them. Now he is responsible for his continuous healing journey
Right once you’re aware you can no longer make excuses . Yes you can blame the mother all ya want but now has to take responsibility so he won’t end up like his parents . So anything that happens after that is his problem , sad case but that’s just how it is .
Kevin Is my frat brother and a beautiful soul which made me think about my moves as a single mother. We never know how our hurts and frustrations can affect our children
Beautiful moment.
I don't know who this man is, but he is sooooooo handsome.
T. Kuykendall he sang deuces with Chris Brown.
Yes, indeed :-)
His ex fiance eva said he was abusive to her while she was pregnant
Wow he’s very known in the hip hop & r&b culture
Kevin McCall he did scrip with Chris
The smirk on Kevin’s face looks quite maniacal.
His mom is beautiful
He is just so 😍😍😍
Nastacia Ruiz he is beautiful. Yes ma'am
He will beat those hearts smooth out of your eyes too. He's abusive!
Tanisha Miller Girl that was real but hilarious😂 but girls will still open their for this man.
😂😂😂😂
Tanisha Miller girl stop! 🤣😂🤣.....u right tho
Amazing help
It’s so important to acknowledge your own behavior in any situation. Owning it as Ms. Vanzant states
keep doing the work & continue to heal. i hope you & your daughter are able to build a relationship when the time is right
This man is a narc. He loved the fact that iyanla instantly shifted the blame on his mother.
Exactly!
but how did he become a Narc.. I mean where else was the accountability suppose to go
Tee Xplanation right. It’s a relief to see the person that hurt you be held accountable. He’s a product of his mother’s behavior.
What??? Are u serious she hurt him now she needs to hear it period
You look like you bully children and have angers issues too tho but Idk it’s just the vibe I’m gettin
Powerful
I'm glad he and his parents are healing. Thanks Iyanla
That's very good......what you and your mom did for each other.....God Bless your relationship to rebuild a stronger bond!
Beautiful ending.
One thing. People spend 20 years being abhorrent then they “ grow” and want you to pretend like you forgot.
This dude is fine!!!!
Eric T he fine af
yes he is...omg
😂😂
This is so amazing God will rise ...amen yall got this....blessings in my prayers...
This is happening sooo many times, and it is good to see how to fix this, thank you😙
Kevin has this evil smile on his face when people can't see. It's frightening. He's that type of person, when you push too far, you see yourself
I guess Iyanla didn't fix his life!!
Lol uhm oh why u say that
Madwalka - IYANLA FIX MY LIFE is referring to the client doing the the work not Dr / Pastor IYANLA doing only what the client can do which is "fix their life!"
Only Jesus himself can fix his life!
Change2be1 ......we know only God can heal the situation but it gives them a platform to be able to express themselves and hear each other and even if it doesn't help them it may help someone else hearing their story
😂😂😂 Right
The mother should be happy her son is a superstar just ungrateful he is so gifted
People only practice what they know until they are corrected and given understandable direction. The parents were once children being taught the same behaviors demonstrated by their parents!!!!!!! However, they’re willingness to see their errors are crucial to heal for all involved. I commend all the participants for their bravery, acknowledgement and commitment to see themselves.