Vindicated. One of the biggest impacts for me in applying the lens of ADHD has been in being able to say ‘that won’t work for me’. I trust my experience and my gut much more and it’s been sooo liberating. Too much time and energy wasted on solutions that aren’t applicable to me.
I wish i felt the same. It really is so important to be in your mindset bc it does help to trust your experiences and gut and stuff. Usually, i do, but most of the people in my life are fed up with me saying, "That won't work" when they try to help me
I am 72 years oId. I have finally decluttered my house after failing at that task for over 50 years. I used the Dana K White approach. We are all different but many with ADHD have similar problems to me. Thinking too much and all over the place but not acting enough. James Clear and ADHDer Dana K White are on the same page with this. Small steps are everything. Up until now I did not embrace the value of tiny steps and tiny work intervals. I always underestimated the value of a microstep that could be done in a few minutes. My biggest problem was thinking too much and aiming too high. Now my step one when I am stuck on a thought treadmill is to DO THE DISHES. The purpose of creating a habit is to get me off the thought treaddmill. My wayward brain needs to be corralled by habits and routines and Alexa. I agree with James Clear's view that we don't rise to our goals but fall the level of our habits. I now save my thinking time for the complex where I excel and avoid thinking about the simple (where I have repeatedly failed in the past) by making the simple the province of habits, not thought.
Yeah this book is literally the only self help book that has ever helped me. I also have ADHD and have read ADHD self help books. The information is good but his examples are very neurotypical, so expect to adapt it to your needs. He talks about getting 1% better at being a major league baseball pitcher. I'm just trying to stop my laundry from piling up lol
suggestion for your next video - show us your bookshelf with adhd books, tell which ones you liked best which not so much, kind of what is your top-20 of adhd books? I have 30+ adhd books and counting, some are crap some are great, always on lookout for new book ideas to purchase. Some 10-15 I have even read :)
Oh man, I cannot agree more. Atomic Habits, Willpower, Hyper-focus (ironically). I thought for a longest time it's just a baloney. And they are just selling the ideal life to make money for the authors. Only now I see how it may be helpful to someone. But I have to look another way 😂
I've managed to let go of the idea of habits by changing the ideal that I want to work towards. Habits as tools, rather than things to repeat for ever. Repeating the same things over and over horrifies my brain, so it will sabotage all the efforts for consistency. I've tested this for the last 30 years. On the other hand, looking at them as tools for doing stuff I want to do seems to work a bit better. I can change the tools I use and focus with, but the purpose behind it remains. Health, productivity, connection with others, I can switch around how I approach them. (Also, who's got a big selection of tools that they change up every time they have a new challenge? Batman. He's got a wall of all kinds of gadgets and gizmos. There's also the cool spot lights and maybe even a little steam when he opens the tool wall cabinet. Always be Batman.)
Wow I thought I was just being a baby but you put what I've been feeling into words. Oftentimes, when trying to build habits, I get stuck on the thought that I need to develop this habit and then I need to do it til I die. To my brain, it feels like a prison sentence, inescapable and monotonous. It feels like I'm trying to build these habits for a future I don't want but am supposed to have (every single identical day filled to the brim with countless maintenance tasks and I won't have time to do anything I actually like, and then just keep doing that until I die). Honestly, until your comment, I didn't realize this was why I was so averse to habit building. I am diagnosed but figured this specific area was just a personal failing so I didn't bother trying to understand myself, I just tried to brute force or bully myself into developing the habits. So thank you for your insightful comment and sharing of your personal experience.
Conventional habit building NEVER worked for me, and I've been trying for 8 years. However, by embracing my ADHD I can get things done, in a weird way yes, but the end results are awesome.
Methods I use: - reverse to-do list: I only write down what I've DONE. It gives me a little feeling of success, that I can snowball on. No unchecked tasks, no feeling of failure, and I can get around pathological demand avoidance with this too - cherry picking: I basically imagine a basket of cherries (the tasks) some of them are tasty, some of them are ugly but healthy, some are soggy. I scan myself how I'm feeling and how much I can eat(do tasks) and which ones I can handle (the soggy ugly ones are hard tasks). I pick the cherry (task) I'm feeling most up for. This is a system that works perfectly with the unpredictability of my brain.
Is it possible to build healthy habits with an ADHD brain without medication? I've got no issues with taking ADHD meds, however the assessment I had at the end of last year after a 2 year wait was rushed through in just over an hour, and I kept getting distracted with new questions before the previous one had been answered thoroughly. Now I've been told it will take 6 years to get a 2nd opinion. I will be 57 by then, and I was hoping to get some life in with that dopamine thing treated before I pop my clogs, or too old to actually be productive in the way I've been missing my whole life. All other attempts at building habits through my life has resembled the myth of Sisyphus so it's even harder to attempt to do such a thing now I know why I can't.
Heya! I'd say yes it is. I personally don't find medication that helpful for building habits (not as helpful as I first thought anyway!) but people have different experiences on meds. I find meds make it more likely i'll 'parent' myself to do it but even on medication, I won't do a habit without other strategies like making it appealing, or having variety in how I do it.
@@rachdoesyoutube I really appreciate you taking the time to reply! I think it's the 'parenting' thing I'm missing most of all due to growing up in a time when ADHD and Autism weren't really recognised, let alone treated so my childhood was rough. Let's put it that way. I'll take a look at your course. Thanks for all you do.
Think of it like this. All the things you're already doing, are habits you have made for yourself. If I sit on the couch for 4 hours a night binging TV, that's a habit I've built for myself that I repeat every night. It's hard to consciously create new habits, but once you repeat something enough, it starts to become normal
As an ADHD savant , some takeaways from the book helped me tremendous. I don’t know if ADHD brains are the target market for the author, but I certainly have been applying some of these tactics at a mid level for 7 months with rewarding outcomes.
This makes so much sense. I know a few really good coping mechanisms to be super productive but I can't sustain them. Now I understand why. To use them it takes a lot of will power and anything that requires sustained effort, because it isn't becoming a habit, that will power eventually runs out and I feel like a failure. Worse yet I know the coping mechanisms work for me and work great for that short few days or week.
After watching all your other videos on habit making with ADHD I can see you understand this from the ground up. Its so true that you can’t take things at face value, and that books like this can be useful, but only if you understand how your brain is wired, to be able to adapt the advice accordingly. Everyone is different and needs different pathways to success!
Disagree. Atomic Habits has been the best instruction manual for me living isn’t ADHD beyond every other behaviour modification book I’ve ever read (and I’ve read about 35 years worth).
I had previously bought that book but never got around to reading it haha, but excited for the course! This also reminded me that I have access to Dr K's (of healthygamergg) course as well, so off to watch that next!
I really can't stand this book! To me it's like depression: those that say they have depression when in fact it's just feeling 'blue'. It's shame that people jump on real disabilities and claim they have them.
Wow, I am very disappointed in you. Going on about other people selling magic bullets only to offer a £150 course yourself is peak level hypocrisy. How do you even justify that to yourself? I have unsubscribed and will not be returning to your videos. It's a shame, since I really used to enjoy your work, and related to so much of what you shared with us.
Heya, I understand and respect your decision. What I said about magic bullets was meant to describe the difference between people who don't understand ADHD selling a 'one size fits all' versus being supported to understand your own brain and not feel like a 'failure' for things not working. I understand not everyone is looking to buy a course and there's no pressure to do so, but I also know people who want structured support on this topic that don't want / can't afford 1:1 coaching so I wanted to make it accessible to those people. In a weird way, I appreciate you for saying this. Receiving a comment like this is one of my biggest fears that stopped me from 'putting myself out there' to help people in the way I know I can. So although it's hard to hear, you've helped me realise that people can disagree with me or see what I'm doing differently to how I see it - and that's okay. Wishing you all the best 💫
Jesus Christ. Where do these numbskulls come from? Getting angry because she's decided to put out a course to help people which they can optionally buy! She's got some nerve hasn't she, trying to make a living out of something she's extremely passionate and well-informed about? This is her bloody job pal, she's allowed to talk about her services without some gobshite throwing a tantrum because they want everything for free free free.
@@rachdoesyoutube I’m a new subscriber. Your videos are very helpful to understand. Dr. doesn’t know what he’s talking about lol. I wonder what his reasoning is to say things like this now I’m gonna go down that rabbit hole
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Vindicated. One of the biggest impacts for me in applying the lens of ADHD has been in being able to say ‘that won’t work for me’. I trust my experience and my gut much more and it’s been sooo liberating. Too much time and energy wasted on solutions that aren’t applicable to me.
I wish i felt the same. It really is so important to be in your mindset bc it does help to trust your experiences and gut and stuff.
Usually, i do, but most of the people in my life are fed up with me saying, "That won't work" when they try to help me
I am 72 years oId. I have finally decluttered my house after failing at that task for over 50 years. I used the Dana K White approach. We are all different but many with ADHD have similar problems to me. Thinking too much and all over the place but not acting enough. James Clear and ADHDer Dana K White are on the same page with this. Small steps are everything. Up until now I did not embrace the value of tiny steps and tiny work intervals. I always underestimated the value of a microstep that could be done in a few minutes. My biggest problem was thinking too much and aiming too high. Now my step one when I am stuck on a thought treadmill is to DO THE DISHES. The purpose of creating a habit is to get me off the thought treaddmill. My wayward brain needs to be corralled by habits and routines and Alexa. I agree with James Clear's view that we don't rise to our goals but fall the level of our habits. I now save my thinking time for the complex where I excel and avoid thinking about the simple (where I have repeatedly failed in the past) by making the simple the province of habits, not thought.
Aw man, I *just* bought that book...
I was going to say the same thing! Uh oh...
Take you ADHD meds and read it. Problem solved
There's lots of gold in that book.
Yeah this book is literally the only self help book that has ever helped me. I also have ADHD and have read ADHD self help books. The information is good but his examples are very neurotypical, so expect to adapt it to your needs. He talks about getting 1% better at being a major league baseball pitcher. I'm just trying to stop my laundry from piling up lol
I think that's the beauty of the 1% concept: it pulls you out of overwhelm. one piece of laundry at a time.
That color blue on your wall is amazing!
suggestion for your next video - show us your bookshelf with adhd books, tell which ones you liked best which not so much, kind of what is your top-20 of adhd books? I have 30+ adhd books and counting, some are crap some are great, always on lookout for new book ideas to purchase. Some 10-15 I have even read :)
Oh man, I cannot agree more. Atomic Habits, Willpower, Hyper-focus (ironically). I thought for a longest time it's just a baloney. And they are just selling the ideal life to make money for the authors. Only now I see how it may be helpful to someone. But I have to look another way 😂
I've managed to let go of the idea of habits by changing the ideal that I want to work towards. Habits as tools, rather than things to repeat for ever. Repeating the same things over and over horrifies my brain, so it will sabotage all the efforts for consistency. I've tested this for the last 30 years.
On the other hand, looking at them as tools for doing stuff I want to do seems to work a bit better. I can change the tools I use and focus with, but the purpose behind it remains. Health, productivity, connection with others, I can switch around how I approach them.
(Also, who's got a big selection of tools that they change up every time they have a new challenge? Batman. He's got a wall of all kinds of gadgets and gizmos. There's also the cool spot lights and maybe even a little steam when he opens the tool wall cabinet. Always be Batman.)
Wow I thought I was just being a baby but you put what I've been feeling into words. Oftentimes, when trying to build habits, I get stuck on the thought that I need to develop this habit and then I need to do it til I die. To my brain, it feels like a prison sentence, inescapable and monotonous. It feels like I'm trying to build these habits for a future I don't want but am supposed to have (every single identical day filled to the brim with countless maintenance tasks and I won't have time to do anything I actually like, and then just keep doing that until I die). Honestly, until your comment, I didn't realize this was why I was so averse to habit building. I am diagnosed but figured this specific area was just a personal failing so I didn't bother trying to understand myself, I just tried to brute force or bully myself into developing the habits. So thank you for your insightful comment and sharing of your personal experience.
Conventional habit building NEVER worked for me, and I've been trying for 8 years. However, by embracing my ADHD I can get things done, in a weird way yes, but the end results are awesome.
Methods I use:
- reverse to-do list: I only write down what I've DONE. It gives me a little feeling of success, that I can snowball on. No unchecked tasks, no feeling of failure, and I can get around pathological demand avoidance with this too
- cherry picking: I basically imagine a basket of cherries (the tasks) some of them are tasty, some of them are ugly but healthy, some are soggy. I scan myself how I'm feeling and how much I can eat(do tasks) and which ones I can handle (the soggy ugly ones are hard tasks). I pick the cherry (task) I'm feeling most up for. This is a system that works perfectly with the unpredictability of my brain.
And thank you for highlighting this.
I'm glad it resonates 😊
Is it possible to build healthy habits with an ADHD brain without medication? I've got no issues with taking ADHD meds, however the assessment I had at the end of last year after a 2 year wait was rushed through in just over an hour, and I kept getting distracted with new questions before the previous one had been answered thoroughly. Now I've been told it will take 6 years to get a 2nd opinion. I will be 57 by then, and I was hoping to get some life in with that dopamine thing treated before I pop my clogs, or too old to actually be productive in the way I've been missing my whole life. All other attempts at building habits through my life has resembled the myth of Sisyphus so it's even harder to attempt to do such a thing now I know why I can't.
Heya! I'd say yes it is. I personally don't find medication that helpful for building habits (not as helpful as I first thought anyway!) but people have different experiences on meds. I find meds make it more likely i'll 'parent' myself to do it but even on medication, I won't do a habit without other strategies like making it appealing, or having variety in how I do it.
@@rachdoesyoutube I really appreciate you taking the time to reply! I think it's the 'parenting' thing I'm missing most of all due to growing up in a time when ADHD and Autism weren't really recognised, let alone treated so my childhood was rough. Let's put it that way. I'll take a look at your course. Thanks for all you do.
Think of it like this. All the things you're already doing, are habits you have made for yourself. If I sit on the couch for 4 hours a night binging TV, that's a habit I've built for myself that I repeat every night. It's hard to consciously create new habits, but once you repeat something enough, it starts to become normal
Thank you. In retrospect it seems obvious, but it helps to hear it expressed so clearly. I need to get diagnosed and medicated 😅
As an ADHD savant , some takeaways from the book helped me tremendous. I don’t know if ADHD brains are the target market for the author, but I certainly have been applying some of these tactics at a mid level for 7 months with rewarding outcomes.
Wonderful epiphany!
This makes so much sense. I know a few really good coping mechanisms to be super productive but I can't sustain them. Now I understand why. To use them it takes a lot of will power and anything that requires sustained effort, because it isn't becoming a habit, that will power eventually runs out and I feel like a failure. Worse yet I know the coping mechanisms work for me and work great for that short few days or week.
Holy crap!!!! I love this, I’m so excited!! 🎉
Yippeeee, thanks Barbara!
After watching all your other videos on habit making with ADHD I can see you understand this from the ground up.
Its so true that you can’t take things at face value, and that books like this can be useful, but only if you understand how your brain is wired, to be able to adapt the advice accordingly.
Everyone is different and needs different pathways to success!
Yesss, exactly - everyone needs something slightly different and it's about feeling equipped to work that out for ourselves 😊
Disagree.
Atomic Habits has been the best instruction manual for me living isn’t ADHD beyond every other behaviour modification book I’ve ever read (and I’ve read about 35 years worth).
The only habits I have are nail biting and smoking.
I had previously bought that book but never got around to reading it haha, but excited for the course!
This also reminded me that I have access to Dr K's (of healthygamergg) course as well, so off to watch that next!
Ooh exciting! I love Dr Ks stuff!
Sigh, its been sitting on my "to read" shelf for.. 2 years?
I really can't stand this book!
To me it's like depression: those that say they have depression when in fact it's just feeling 'blue'.
It's shame that people jump on real disabilities and claim they have them.
Ok, so where's advice? Feels like 5 minutes of only teasing.
🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 SEEN.
I'm glad it's not just me!
Wow, I am very disappointed in you. Going on about other people selling magic bullets only to offer a £150 course yourself is peak level hypocrisy.
How do you even justify that to yourself?
I have unsubscribed and will not be returning to your videos. It's a shame, since I really used to enjoy your work, and related to so much of what you shared with us.
Heya, I understand and respect your decision. What I said about magic bullets was meant to describe the difference between people who don't understand ADHD selling a 'one size fits all' versus being supported to understand your own brain and not feel like a 'failure' for things not working.
I understand not everyone is looking to buy a course and there's no pressure to do so, but I also know people who want structured support on this topic that don't want / can't afford 1:1 coaching so I wanted to make it accessible to those people.
In a weird way, I appreciate you for saying this. Receiving a comment like this is one of my biggest fears that stopped me from 'putting myself out there' to help people in the way I know I can. So although it's hard to hear, you've helped me realise that people can disagree with me or see what I'm doing differently to how I see it - and that's okay. Wishing you all the best 💫
Jesus Christ. Where do these numbskulls come from? Getting angry because she's decided to put out a course to help people which they can optionally buy! She's got some nerve hasn't she, trying to make a living out of something she's extremely passionate and well-informed about? This is her bloody job pal, she's allowed to talk about her services without some gobshite throwing a tantrum because they want everything for free free free.
@@rachdoesyoutube I’m a new subscriber. Your videos are very helpful to understand. Dr. doesn’t know what he’s talking about lol. I wonder what his reasoning is to say things like this now I’m gonna go down that rabbit hole