Wealth Caused Division In My Family
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One thing I’ve learned about friends over my 62 years is to set low expectations…you are less likely to be disappointed by them. Keep it light, accept their quirks and enjoy the companionship.
Holy moly I cannot imagine my "family" suing me for a cut of money from another deceased family member. At that point they're no longer family.
Well, you are going to this same scenario play out with the Presley family since his only child died and her mom wants a piece of the pie.
@@iamkesha.
The daughter barely got a peace of the pie herself.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 Really?
Especially when it was from her husband. It’s not even an inheritance, it’s their marital assets. Her friends expected her to elevate them to her level.
Exactly my thoughs, I would go scorched earth on them, expending every cent on lawyers and leaving them broke would be the least of their problem they would be no family but enemies, period.
That's why people have country clubs. Makes a lot of sense
Any friends or family who expect you to give them money are not true friends nor true family. If they always want money from you then cut them loose.
terriesmith2616 I completely agree with you!
Join the club lady. I've been there. I had to cut family because they wouldn't ask for money they demanded money. It's unreal.
Wow. Glad I’m poor. LoL
I thought you meant the country club.. 🤣 like go ahead an pay those dues to meet people. Haha!
Or they try to manipulate you or guilt trip you into giving them money.
Ruth’s family and friends expected her to be an easy mark and they’re resentful. They didn’t pull that nonsense with her husband.
It's sad to find out that certain family members and so called friends all of a sudden start begging for money once they know a person has some...Then all of a sudden she realized they weren't really friends, and family wasn't really family.
@GenX X Maybe the husband did helped them out when he was alive and that’s why they were expecting her to continue to do the same.
Exactly! They think she got it for free (like a lotto winner) and they don't have a barrier to ask. Totally shameful.
@@colleenduffy1139 👍
They saw her as the vulnerable widow.
Service clubs like Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, Elks, etc., would be good places to start; they typically attract older, more affluent folks and do a lot of charity work. But PLEASE steer clear of online dating! Those sites are full of "catfishers" who have no qualms about taking you for everything you've got and leaving you with no legal recourse for getting your money back.
Those are men’s groups. I doubt an unattached woman would fit in to any of their events.
@@genxx2724 No they're not! I was a member of Rotary for years! Kiwanis has been been co-ed since 1987, ditto for Lions Club. Elks opened up to women in the 1990's.
That's what I was thinking. Philanthropy gives her a chance to be connected to those who share her values and make a difference in the world. She seemed to be turned off by the Country Club idea as she sounds like she's looking for more meaning and may not like the idea of spending just to spend. But like everything else, she needs to be careful if scammers, as they are found here.
People blame money, but the real issue is the lack of values.
Don't meet at your house, meet at a library, coffee shop, etc. Your local library should have a lot of different events or workshops. It is a great place to meet people.
I have an in law like this who thinks asking how much is spent on a remodel or new roof is intrusive. Problem is that most people do not think this is “private” information.
Ruth is a tough case, but you guys handle it nicely. Good job.
“ I don’t know what they want from me,
It’s like the more money we come around, the more problems we see….”
-Biggie Smalls
Mo money mo problems
Biggie understood. Some of the most true words ever spoken.
That wasn’t quote he said lol
😂😂
Thats why its best not to talk to people about your wealth
At some point your status is obvious, especially with close family members and friends. How do you want to hide that?
@@mirabella2154 simple, live in an average house, drive an average car. Never talk about money to anybody other than to say “this inflation is rough”
@@TheTurdballs420
Some people want to enjoy their wealth that they've worked hard for by rewarding themselves with nice cars, nice vacations, and nice homes. So the signs of wealth will be obvious but that doesn't mean it's okay for family or friends to ask you for money every chance they get.
@@TheTurdballs420 I'm all for not revealing your monetary status to others, but no one is going to restrict their life style just because of other's curiosity or jealousy. That's just stupid.
Although Jim has a point I shouldn’t have to hide my wealth simply because people want to have their hands out! I do agree that you have to find a circle or small group whose on the same level financially cause that’s probably the only way to avoid the grifters. Then there’s always the word NO! Don’t let people take advantage of you including family.
Manhattan beach is one of the wealthiest areas in LA.
Money is a just magnifier.
If you're a good person, it makes you better. But if you're a bad person, it just makes you worse.
the sad thing is that her so called “family/friends” were not married to her husband, She Was.
And now they want money that’s rightfully Hers only?
It’s sad. She has to cut ties with em.
Friends & Family change once they know you got money.
I pray she finds good guidance & real genuine friends not fake ones.
Who do we talk to about the cost of repairs, insurance claims, taxes, making money, if we cannot talk to our friends about it.
My family taught me nothing.
Often times I’ve felt completely isolated and afraid to ask any questions or advice.
I find it sad. People feel violated with any real deep talk & topics.
I have the exact opposite problem of this lady.
I cannot find real intelligent thoughtful deep concerned people that work together to rise others as well.
Wow.
I was thinking the same is she perhaps assuming that people want money from her? I have a sister like that. She thinks everyone just wants things from her. Eg. Someone will compliment her ring and she will give the ring to them!!!! When I would ask her why, she says they where stongly hinting that they wanted it. She has virtually isolated herself because of scenarios like that.
Amen brother
I would bet this woman never handled any finances while her husband was around, and now that he passed she doesn't know what to do. Her husband had this money before she died and had no issues. No figures were mentioned, however I'd also bet her wealth is under a million.
@@actuallyterry
Hmm, You should ask her about something sometime, and then tell her no, I do not want it, I just thought x Item looked good on you.
Being so rich and losing all my fake friends would be a blessing!
As said. You have to find like minded souls and include them into your life. We have been planning early retirement and for the past few years have cultivated friends from people who are already retired, early in many cases, and have been hanging with them. We get info on things to do, not to do, watch out for this.. etc.. and none of them are going to expect or demand that we give them money or help financially. It can be done, you just have to get out of your bubble and make it happen. Book a couple luxury trips, land tours, cruises a year and meet the same people. Make a few friends from that group and you will be so busy you will actually need to have quiet time booked into your days..
I was so fortunate that my family were all pretty level headed and we all got along. It also helped that nobody in the family was in poor shape financially. Ditto for my friends.
Wow. My heart goes out to her! ❤ Stay strong Ruth ❤
I live in Los Angeles. People are friends for "superficial" reasons only.
Me too! I think it’s because Southern California is full of dream-chasing transplants who didn’t mind leaving their families behind. I’ve made friends easily during the short times I spent in other places.
She might be the poor friend if she starts reaching out.
@@djpuplex Good point. But where does she reach out? I met my newest acquaintance waiting to cross the street. She’s a lawyer who is going to stop working. Her husband is a doctor. They just moved here from out of state. I need more friends on that level. It’s awkward without a spouse.
@@genxx2724 Agree most women in her position boo up with a younger man.
@@djpuplex What!!! 🤣 That’s an exaggeration.
I'm thinking she needs some social skills training and learn how to set and maintain appropriate boundaries with people. I'm thinking she relied on her spouse for navigating through life during their marriage and stayed isolated on some level to care for her disabled son. I hope she reads the book Boundaries and starts seeing a therapist to help identify a clearer path for her future.
Great observation and point!
Your wealth isn’t causing problems, your “family” is
Birds of a feather flock together such a amazing quote
I’d suggest starting with finding an appropriate strong regular respite worker or workers even. Being a caregiver is very hard! Giving you the time to find the space and time to make true friendships.
Loved this caller.
Dave worth hundreds of millions of dollars should have answered this lady's question
💯
Exactly.. this show is in the drain now
Jonhn D is the only one who uses his brains.. others just parrots..
@@NaNa-lt1po George is the worst, can't wait to burst out his favorite question about household income each time, Ken close 2nd.. Plus the interruptions are becoming unbearable. I'm coming here more for the discussion in the comments than the "expert advice" lately..
@@kokoskokso agreed. If I don't see Dave on this channel again soon, I swear I'll unsub. If you've listened to this channel for more than about a month, you know everything George knows and he becomes a bore.
@@kokoskokso 💯%
I wish Dave took this call. He’s super wealthy and would have better advice than these two hosts
Why so cagey about the cost of home repairs? People who ask probably need referrals to reliable service providers. The price you sold a house for isn’t a secret. It’s available on-line. After listening to the entire call, I wonder if Ruth is hypervigilant due to the trauma of her husband’s illness and passing, and was too quick to cut her friends off. Maybe she misjudged some situations.
Agreed! Ken should not ask the caller what neighborhood she lives in. That is not safe or even relevant. He could give examples without this specific being disclosed. Also, what about recommending faith based groups for social interaction. Missed opportunity to inspire this lady to connect mentally and spiritually.
@@HighMTN90 Agree 100%. Too invasive and dangerous.
I noticed that too. I think she's been burned so many times, and that's not what she talks to friends or aquaintances about. She said that's not the kind of thing she talks to friends about (and that's normal for a lot of people, they were brought up and have learned not to talk about money.) However, money is a topic of interest to a lot of people (especially if they're in business) and they might like to talk about it without an alterior motive. Of course, her policy is totally valid too, especially given what's happened.
It's completely normal to ask about cost of home repairs if you live in same neighborhood. The person asking wants to know ball park what it's going to cost, and perhaps wants to use the figure for negotiation. It's really no big deal. She seems too private
Yep, it also makes me curious if some of the asks she cut people off over were things her husband routinely said yes to when he was in charge. Not even being able to have a casual conversation over a home sale or repair... she's in danger of becoming a hermit.
It’s unfortunate but this is why you have to have friends who are on the same level as you financially (or at least open to working to building their wealth).
Join a good church. Lots of opportunity to invest your wealth in something there.
If people ask “how much did you sell your house for?” just ask “why do you want to know?” If that doesn’t shut them down, your response can be, “I will not be discussing that” or something to that effect.
Strange how people think they can discuss your personal business like that.
Best advice ever.
No one can give her that answer. She has to explore and find out.
You become the product of the people you keep closest to you. If you hang around with losers, you are more likely to become a loser. If you hang around with successful people, you are more likely to be successful. Never have regrets of cutting toxic people out of you life, no matter if they are family or not. It is a true super power once you learn to do it.
100% agreed with you.
Once you better yourself and break out of the poor class to become rich, but all your old friends are still poor and are always asking you for money, then it's time to cut them loose. Any amount of money you give friends or family will never be enough. They will always need more. You need to make new friends who are at your level and have their own money.
Unfortunately it happens more than people think and unexpected. I know a young group of siblings that are getting sued by their own mom and uncles because their grandma left the money in the young kids name. Not even a proper will can get those monkeys off their backs. Now lawyer fees are being wracked up.
Never ever tell anyone of your wealth. Never flaunt it, drive a nice but normal car, and live in a nice but normal house. Otherwise you are a mark.
I found it rude for one of the hosts to keep saying “You know where wealthy people hang out…you know.” If she knew, she wouldn’t have called in. The know it all, judgmental, condescending personality type does not need to be hosting a show about personal finance!
He doesn’t know and had no ideas. That’s why he deflected the issue back to her. Not helpful at all.
She called wanting advice - they can see it’s not a money issue... it’s a confidence issue.
She could join any club, she could work for free, she could volunteer at a charity or fundraising for a hospital. It doesn’t matter - she just needs to fill the void her family and friends have left for a while.
@@JDAfrica The whole reason Ramsey hired people who aren’t knowledgeable about money, like Ken and Dr. John, is to help callers whose issues aren’t financial. I hope by doing some of the activities you suggested, she can make a couple of friends who are financially free and can go on trips and go to nice places with her.
Wealthy people talk about money quite a bit. It’s not a taboo subject if you’ve got it. Better get comfortable talking about it but at least they won’t want it from you.
Thank you! :)
I sense she doesn't want to run with the country club group.
I’m so sorry Ruth 😞
I need friends too , most of mine were more seasonal and lost based on diff paths went on
I've had to cut family off due to really comically low amounts of money (in the grand scheme of things).
Was it the three things on the windowsill?
Me too...
This is why wealthy people hang out with wealthy people!
Money divides when money is in the picture. Family and friends will be first ones to come for it.
I’ve noticed Ken does this a LOT; and it’s really annoying- he insists people already know the answer to the question they call in to ask…
I didn’t like that either he’s my least favourite
Yea it’s pretty odd
He deflects cause he is clueless.
I've noticed he never really has anything to say beyond the super obvious. He is not one of the better Ramsey hosts.
Yeah I don’t understand why he does that. And John Maloney does that annoying thing where he think someone is always not “safe” or they’re “terrified”.
I hope the caller has a good lawyer. She needs one to keep all those gifters away from her.
Local church, perhaps.
Classes in line with your interests. Pray for guidance and opportunities to "be" a friend as well as "find" a friend.
Most churches are full of grifters & con men. Especially so for a rich widow.
Catholic priests actually had a How To book, which stated to find widows, and appoint them to heads to charities within the church, meet with them weekly .... because they were impressionable and you can get money from them.
"I don't need friends...they disappoint me" - Carla Shaw
If they only cared about her for the money, I'm glad she's disconnected from all of them as they're toxic people. If you love or cherish someone, don't expect anything in return other than friendship.
No friends, no problems!
A wealthy Island sinks if not cared for. She needs a circle of friends that don’t rely on her money/status. It’s not about the money, but the connection.
She also had to take care of her son, so that’s another good place to start; finding other single mothers that are also wealthy.
While I understand what this lady is saying, and have seen it to some extent, my response would have been entirely different. There are always going to be some people who focus almost entirely on money. Some of those people have very little money, some of those people have a modest amount of money, and some, like Ruth, have quite a bit more money that most. The problem isn't money. The problem is how some people focus on it. Ruth IS one of those people, so she's causing her own problem, to an extent, by focusing on money. Focus on relationships and activities and faith...then find other people, irrespective of their wealth, who do the same. Once she stops creating her own situation, that will get a lot easier.
Wow. The level of entitlement it takes to sue for her money. Gross.
I've met people like this and it still surprises me.
This is where Dave and John Delaney are so much better than any of the other CO host they would actually ask how much money did you run into what type of business it is these are interesting factors why people watch your show come on step it up
The focus is on helping the caller first and foremost.
Money is truly the root of all evil. Never let anyone know you have it. I can't say that enough. Keep your wealth to yourself and never talk money with anyone.
I’m getting the feeling that she wants some meaning in her life she doesn’t just wanna go to the country club drink mimosas and get Botox. And that’s the problem with a lot of people with money.
It's a little bit too late to look for "meaning in her life" considering her age. Just enjoy the few years you have.
People play golf, tennis, and do gym workouts at country clubs. The senior ladies also play bridge. They don’t just drink, although there’s plenty of that. I worked at a country club for a summer when I was in college. I served a ridge runner (popular club drink to cool off - a huge glass of grape juice and 7-Up) to Dinah Shore. I was very surprised to see her as a guest of club members in my little town in California.
Agree. Funny thing is, the more you have, the more you crave meaning not easily bought by money. “Enjoyment” and “pampering” have depreciating returns of happiness. I feel like she has thoroughly lived through those parts and because she knows time is limited, she wants to leave a legacy and doesn’t know where to start.
@@mirabella2154 Meaning of life is never too late, dear. And it fills your life like nectar.
@@jomontanee Nah, dear. She will be buried before she managed to figure that out. 🤣
My takeaway from this call is wealth is like political opinions today, you lose friends and family if they don’t get what they want or hear what they want. It sucks.
iamkesha407 and if all they want is a person's money, then it's better if we lose them as family and/or friends.
Wealth is like political opinions: Should be kept to yourself
Supposed to be giving advice on saving money and you just told her to go spend $50k on a country club. You guys even realize how much these country clubs cost in that area?
@@XennialGuy Are you sure you replied to the right person?
@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 Lol, No it was meant for the Ramsey team.
Manhattan Beach Country Club ?
It’s called the Beach
Death and divorce brings out the worst in people
Money is not the main issue. Where are people of character, not focus on money. Really?
Do not have strangers in your house that early on .. activity groups is a good start I need to do that
Money changes people , fact
Ruth- I do know there’s some God-fearing Christ honoring people and ladies at Grace Community Church, CA a half-hour away from you ..whether they have-a lot or-a-little many there Keep Looking UP!^ (Col 3:1-4, Luke 21:28) 💙🙏📖😊
There is division between my sis and I because we’re both set to inherit millions of dollars
She sounds super sensitive about money questions.
Even paranoid.
It's her personal business.
Other things to talk about.
She does, but based on the call it sounds like that's coming from some nasty real-life problems that justify it.
@@vtvincent4893 👍
Can't blame her given what's happened.
God bless her, but that was a weird call. What did she expect of them, to give her names and addresses ?!
Neighbors in the same neighborhood asking about your home price and renovation costs is not out of line. I think this woman has never handled money before her husband died and doesn't know how to discuss finances and where to draw boundaries.
If you can, never let relatives and friends know how much money you have!
That information can easily be found out. If you live in an expensive area and have a nice home, they know you have money.
Very very hard ... because you will live in a nice area, drive a better car ... and likely buy better clothes and food. It all gives an impression of doing well financially.
My wife and I have a rule, that we never complain about or talk about money with friends or family...
But this gives an illusion that we have no money issues to them. The assumption is were loaded ... when in fact we just make careful spending choices and aren’t frivolous or reckless with our money.
Most apparently were family. They pretty much knew already
These people were not your friends to begin with
stephenabril7084 👍
Shame on family and friends who expects you to help them with money 💰
Glad I don't have that issue because I have no family.
People actually sued her to get HER money? Am I getting that right? If it was from her husband it was also her money why would anyone think they were entitled to it? That’s so bizarre I’d block them all including the greedy ex friends.
She’s headed to the country club! 😊
Country Clubs and Junior League.
She is going to be a sad person because what she doesn't understand is wealth people like to talk about money. It is one of the similar traits that they have which means it will be brought up at some point. The fact that the question how much the house sold for bother he so much is troubling.
Sounds like she should be generous with some of her money (not to freeloaders, but just in general) and not be so flipping uptight about a neighbor asking the cost of a home repair. It isn't about you, lady, it's about them wanting to price out the repair. The interest in the home value also isn't about her, it's about them judging how much home values have increased in general.
She said "I like reading, I like writing,"
Then I imagined her saying "I like arithmetic"
Who doesn't? Oh yeah, people in debt.
It's weird..she's been rich for a long time, there was money when she was married clearly. Why is she not already part of service organizations, on boards of non-profits, and traveling with other well-heeled people? Something is off with Ruth. She sounds paranoid and socially awkward.
Friends are overrated and movies and shows have given people huge expectations of what a friend is or should be
I would move. This sounds dangerous. Don't mention your wealth
If you hang out with other wealthy people and you instantly won't have this issue anymore
Ditch the poors. Find new rich friends
Or even better, don't have friends. Friends are overrated
Sounds like rich people problems you know who your real friends are and who aren't don't be afraid to cut folks off so what keep it pushing
Anyone's problem.
I was dealing with this when broke going to school and living in my van.
Yep, she is. But she needs to know where to push to.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 Then that goes for you too who needs friends when you got enemies
I have a problem but I don’t want to do anything about it
This was a very weird call.
I am not even sure what she wanted; friends or rich friends.
She wants friends with money so they won't be bugging her for her money.
jkay07 I got the impression she just wants real friends, not the kind that beg her for money all the time?
@@Sheryl777 I get it. But I didn't get that from the words she spoke.
@@jkay07 I don't think any of us know for sure, but I know she wasn't happy about friends and/or family trying to get money off her though.
she wants real friends that don't ask for money who also share her values.
I had to stop this video mid-way to step out to the Club. See Ya!
Her problem is that she needs people who are wealth but don't just talk/boast about money all day.... So that isn't necessarily even a wealthy person...
" You're not going to soar with the eagles if your hanging out with the chickens" this episode was not for the poor. Listen to their advice " birds of a feather flock together"
Maybe she can hire a part time nanny or caregiver so she can go out and meet people.
I would almost wager Ruth changed, not her friends. Seems like any conversation that has money in it she just cuts people off. Maybe not but that’s what it seems like.
Very sad and she should move to Redondo Beach where there are lots of nice people.
False friends are in everyone's life. Not just the rich. It only takes you excelling in life while they fail miserably to see who is willing to take advantage of your wealth.... be it great or small wealth But I do not understand why they seem to believe or at least suggest only other wealthy people can be a friend to this caller. Guess what guys! Less advantaged and poor people have integrity too!! And you might realize many folks that do not act the part are actually very wealthy if you give people a chance. But there is also if you can not find a man then get a dog advice.
She could get a caretaker to help free up some time. Could try that on a trial basis.
Where’s Dave? 🤔
I think he’s on vacation
This is such a sad call.
Poor lady. All her friends left her when she became wealthy. Well girl, it is time to start hanging with people at the golf club and country clubs and make new wealthy friends. They were not true friends. They should be happy for you and even feel sorry for you that you lost your husband. Even if you will help them, they have shown that they are not worthy of help. Why are they mad? Did you rob anyone to get your wealth? Did you stop them from getting your wealth? They are not wise, if they are married, they should take is at a lesson learned to get life insurance, get out to debt, so when they die or their spouse dies, they can leave wealth behind too for their family. Oh how people can envy other people for their blessings. The sad part they cannot change anything.
Same thing happened to me once I started my career.
She has money.. hire a care taker and go out.
Plus, if you are at the same basic level of wealth, talking about costs of repairs is no big deal
The dead spouse must have kept a tight leash on the finances since you aren't getting into anything in Manhattan Beach for under millions. The way she talks you'd thunk she was slumming prior to her husband's passing. Hopefully they have things set up for the special needs child so that when she is gone her family doesn't swoop in like vultures.
Y'all don't listen sometimes, I don't think she knows where the wealthy people are
She wasn't helped by these two. It sounds more like her husband always handled the finances, and she is hypnotized by the new weight of responsibility. She needs friends alright, but more like someone who is also caring for the handicapped. Perhaps donate her time to charity.
She can afford home care for her son… freeing up personal time.