This is what my parents did with me: They charged me rent when I was in my teens/ early 20s paying $500 a month. I eventually left my parents house at 25. On my 26th birthday my dad gave me an account with $40,000 in it, a Roth IRA. He told me that moving out is the biggest thing that a boy can do and that he wanted me ready for the world I would face. He told me I could take the money and do whatever I wanted with it or continue adding to it. I chose the latter and to this day thank my dad for showing me the power of compounding interest, and dividend reinvestment
P1imp0logy101 Yeah, I call bs on your story. Unless you are a professional athlete or dealing dope like the kid in American Beauty , no teen can afford to pay their parents 500 bucks a month.
Gear Grinder I know someone who got married at 18 and had their first child at 19 and they have been married together for well over 40 years. But yes, everyones different, and in most cases that may be too soon as people rush in not realizing what it is. But they both had a strong relationship with the Lord and knew exactly what they were doing. It happens at different times for different people- and if you are still waiting, be patient, it’s worth it. Don’t rush anything because you or others think “it should have happened by now.” You want them to be the right person. It will either be a blessing or a curse… and I recommend having a personal relationship with Jesus and following biblical principals. Thats the best and proven method. It’s THE truth and it works.
@@joshuamclean4588 I know of a few folks that did it at 18 and still together. I just prefer my kids wait. But I definitely want them to get married before children and never shack. But if any of my children came to me and wanted their significant other to live in my home the answer will always be NO. And I suspect this couple is claiming to be engaged just to have a place for the young man to stay in the home.
Gear Grinder right not a good idea to live together first but idk the situation. And I tend to agree it’s better to wait unless you’re absolutely certain God wants you to do it… But no need to wait too long if you ARE ready. Most people arent at that age today.
I got married at 18 (he was 19) and I’m 20 now and it’s the best thing ever. Honestly marriage can be fun and it’s great having a best friend and lover to be there. I know it’s harped on a lot but communication is key! I would also like to add that we are both in college and I’m graduating with my bachelors in nursing next December. He worked more so we could make it but will graduate with his bachelors soon after me (one year after me). Teamwork makes the dream work!
When I saw the title, after hearing so many stories about predatory parents and finding I have one of my own, my first thought was, “Sure you can charge teenagers rent - as long as you pay rent if you live with them when you’re elderly.”
thespiritbomb thats sweet but, my mother is a narcissist who made it pretty clear that she had used me for her personal and professional work so, if she completes destroying her home, that I was to inherit, she can go live on a park bench in a blizzard. She has, however made certain that my do nothing sister has the early inheritance of a free home so, I have learned my lesson and know that I never need to lift a finger for her again - EVER. If she ever needs any of the digital files I’ve created over the past few decades to further her personal work or continue the business I helped her build, she can start from scratch as, she’s only 76 now...
Well depends. I think if they turn 18 and get a job, then you can teach them responsibility by helping pay rent especially if you are paying for groceries and everything else, it’s just a drop in the bucket. They cans till take time to save and get ahead- but you’re teaching them practical skills and budgeting in the outside world. But it depends in the situation, I wouldn’t make it a requirement as soon as they’re 18- or you don’t have to. But you aren’t evil for asking you’re adult child to help pay some bills. The when you’re old and can’t work, the situation is totally different. They took care of you all these years. If they can afford it and want to help/pay rent then fine. But if you’re parents are struggling financially, don’t throw them on the street just cuz they can’t pay you rent. Thats just wrong.
Joshua McLean well age 18 is right on the edge of adulthood. But, when it said teenager, I’ve heard parents charging their 14 year old rent. We’re not talking about charging them for the purpose of teaching them either. We’re talking about charging them for the purpose of making money off of raising a child and coming after them like a bill collector who’s about ready to put them out, if they’re delinquent. That is a business transaction. Not child rearing. While my mother’s narcissism didn’t really show up until later, that is the type of relationship a narcissistic parent often has with their child. As they say, narcissists don’t have relationships. They have business transactions with people. This often includes their own children and they can do this under the guise that they’re trying to raise their children properly and look normal to and obtain the support of the public, when what they may actually be doing is looking at their children as merely a SS#. I don’t fault you for not understanding narcissism or NPD as, 2 years ago, I knew nothing about it myself. But, narcissists, typically, DO NOT change. It is not as part of the pathology of this personally disorder. So, basically, anyone using up their life, waiting for a narcissist to change? Every knowledgeable and experienced person and every psychotherapist feels nothing but pity for the lost life of the victims who decided it was a good idea to hold on for that to happen. I am fortunate that I have a center, boundaries, don’t live with my family and never back down. This doesn’t mean I’m unknowledgeable enough to engage. But, there’s no getting hoovered back into a relationship with my mother and sister. I need not be told twice...
Private Private typically that is true. But I have seen Jesus change impossible situations. See David wood’s testimony. Was a sociopath, narcissistic personality, which is what this sounds like. Yes perhaps someone could claim things but not really have changed, but David wood has genuinely changed and there are those who do. I was not narcissistic or anything like that, but I was an outcast myself. Jesus turned my life around.
Joshua McLean sorry but, I deal with what has been historically-proven, as per the psychology profession. In addition to that, people with NPD are FIXED personalities and my mother has proven to be one, in many levels. In addition to this, I’ve spent a good portion of my life dealing with her marital issues, her other personal and professional issues to, then, be told I had been used. I am in my 50s at this point. I could make the mistake of being lied to while giving chance after chance and it would result in me never having had a life - while she smirks at me being a fool, like most narcissists smirk at victims’ inability to disengage and protect themselves. She has used up what she had. Time I will never get back. Though late in the game, this is my life and my turn.
Our adult daughter is in college, working full time and living with us at home. When she asked if I wanted rent, I told her no, as long as she would make double payments on her new car, and monthly show me the payments. She paid it off within 2 years. I was trying to teach her a lesson about debt and the power of focusing on debt to pay it down, then off. Anyhow, never would I charge my children rent unless they were making well into living wages.
Shield-Maiden Goddess - my wife and I have agreed that as long as our children are moving forward in life in a direction that we agree with, we’ll support them (at least as far as living expenses go). However, I would be against supporting my children if they simply wanted to live in the basement and play video games all day...this is where I’d implement something like rent.
@@briemann4124 it's right. You - good father.We must help our children have house/school/university that they help us later. We must love our children. In Russia, we take care of our children
not everyone is able to afford it. in my case my mom raised 4 kids by herself working 50 hours a week and was still unable to keep up. So i started paying rent at 15. its not as simple as just "getting their lives together"
JD what if their mom was a widow? Should she have picked a spouse she knew wouldn’t die and leave her with four kids? Stop making TH-cam judgments about people you don’t know?
JD no we can’t assume things to fit the conclusions we want. You’ve decided the mom in that scenario made bad life choices, so you’re using the rationale that fits your conclusion. Point is none of us know but that person who commented so stop with the judgmental bs
This is probably a divorce waiting to happen 🤦♀️. They are 18 and 19, what is the rush?!!!! How about they get an education and career where they can actually not have to live in poverty BEFORE they even think about marriage. How about maturing and really finding their adult selves BEFORE they get engaged and married. Ugh... These two will be popping out kids they cannot afford, and living off the system in a year I bet!!!
They both have a great deal of maturity to be able understand and want to follow Dave's plan. They're probably good kids. 🤷 The parents liked him enough to house him.
Not necessarily. I met my husband at 19, married at 20, still married 25 years later. Doesn’t mean it was easy. We also had kids later. Just because we got married early doesn’t mean you stop making good choices.
Ben Kucenski I mean my sister lived at home at 27 years old making enough money to move out herself but she stayed at home and paid very discounted rent which helped my dad and herself. She’s now married and lives with her husband in their own home but the situation helped both parties. She was also home where my little siblings were and it was nice for them too
Unbeknownst to me, that’s what my parents did. They had put my rent money in a separate savings account and gave it to me to purchase kitchen and laundry appliances when I moved out.
That's fine if you're a male. You can debate that decision for another 15 years without significant consequence. Just remember that dwindling fertility is a real thing for women. If you ever want to have kids, you'd better have it together and be able to attract the 24yo when you're 36yo. Don't be the 36yo who finally decides to marry his girlfriend of 10-15 years only to have to go through the fertility struggle. You'd be better off staying single and focusing on yourself for several years and then open up to dating and marriage.
The family system in America is so dysfunctional. What’s up with this bs about making you’re teenage kids pay rent? Like they’re not even your kids. I’m fine with kids helping their parents financially and they should but this whole rent thing is so weird.
Gets them ready for the real world...parents might need the help. I was paying 200 a mo to my parents when I was 15/16. Only thing I resented was my other 3 siblings never had to....were bought cars help with buying homes etc. This was mid 80s, literally every penny I earned. In my case just another way to make sure I left asap. And I did...
Fortunately we live in a modern society and we have things like contraception or abortion. There are ways to make sure you don’t have children before you’re ready.
@@fmccloud Sadly you can “abort”. But as a Christian who believes that all children are child’s of God I believe that abortion is wrong. When you abort a baby you are saying that you don’t care about God’s will. I would rather a baby be put up for adoption rather than not any have a chance in life. They could be a scientist who changes the world. They could be a president of our country. You never know.
Is this video titled accurately? My impression was that they were questioning how the rent money should be allocated, not whether or not rent should be charged. Did i miss something?
Should a child pay rent to there parents? yes. Should the parents make a profit from it? no. It's called responsibility. So when the child moves out on there own they know the rules of paying rent. as a parent I would give 85%/ 92% back to child they move out. If your over 23 years old. Full rent. But dad it would be cheaper if i moved out? by. then.
I plan on charging my kids "rent" (matching their rent payments with my own money) and putting the money all in a roth ira and other savings fund for them when they are ready to move out they'll have something to take care of themselves with and will have learned how to handle the pressure of owing money to someone so they'll be better equipped at life
Why not have the boyfriend move out and let the daughter stay rent-free? If he is serious about becoming her husband, having to sleep without her at night for a while will not make him change his mind and get "engaged" to someone else. If he is not Mr. Right, limiting his "conjugal visits" will cause him to wander away - from causing her to endure an early divorce.
Nope! My son is 20 and we don’t charge him rent. This is his time to build and get himself into a healthy financial situation so he can afford his own bills and have some cushion.
Unpopular I guess but we charged "rent" (her phone/insurance plus 100) it was modest but kept her accountable and mindful that she's not a child mooching off her parents. She's married and in her own now and we help out with car repairs and household stuff because we want to, not because we have to. Just another side of it.
@Sirena Spades why would you not Olive at home at 20. Most 20 years olds are in college don’t have a real job making a ton of money. Probably close to minimum wage or a little bit over minimum wage. How how are they gonna live on their own with that. The best thing like the comment said is to stay with your parents if they allow it and save up money till your done school and have a real job. Then after saving money and having a real job and being done school then you can move out but, moving out at 20 to me is not a good idea in a lot of the time. Not all the time bc situations are obviously different but a lot of the times it is just better to do as I said previously
I think if you do this it should be in an account for the child to get back later in life when they need a car, go to college, or move out of your home.
"just got their first job" and "just got engaged" are two very very scary things that close in proximity. They're old enough to play adult to get married, time for them to play adult and tootle out on their own. Good luck, darlings.
I'll add my "story" I've been with my wife since 15 (now 23 and her 25) have been marrired for a year with 3 kids and it's the best thing ever. I am grateful to make a good enough living to were she does not have to work. She loves it.
I never understood parents asking for rent from their kids. It's so rude towards kids. My parents demanded that I saved 70% of my income so I could build up capital before moving out: "Now that you are home you can still save." Also 18-19 years old is way too young to get engaged and get married. You have no clue yet who you are. Wait till you are 27-28 years old orso.
well, that's your opinion. My parents were married 18-19 years old, and are still together 48 years later. You can't say who is ready at 18, 19, 20, whatever. I know 30 year olds that have no clue.
@@Enoch5939 If they don't have kids there no reason to get married that young... You can still be together and get married later. Sure it could work out but there is no point.
Parents are only required to support their children financially until they are 18. After that, they are adults. Charging adult children a reasonable amount of rent is perfectly logical. Doing so can help ensure they don’t take their situation for granted and become too comfortable staying at Mom and Dad’s house forever. As Dave says, “if you never kick an eagle out of the nest, it becomes a turkey.”
If they are adults and living it home they need to contribute. Even if you don't charge them real "actual" rent prices they need to understand they can't just exist in a house for free, they use the water, the electric, the gas, the broadband... they need to help pay for it... WHEN they're working.
That was the norm to get married at 13 in the United States and throughout all of Europe and they're 19 and yes they should get support instead of being left stranded by selfish parents who likely leeched off their kids for at least tax breaks and so on.
I appreciate how patient and generous he was with her. She’s new to all of this information. Let them get into the lifestyle a bit and make decisions wi proper knowledge instead of pinpointing the worst parts of what she said. Hey, at least she called 🤷🏾♀️
There’s no evidence at all that getting married too young or before you’re ready in order to do things in the right order helps you to avoid poverty. There is a lot of evidence that getting married too early puts you at high risk for divorce. The reason that doing things in the “success sequence” is associated with success is because people who plan ahead tend both to do things in that order and to be successful, but marrying young because of parental pressure doesn’t magically make you a planner.
Charging your kids rent like you had em it you didn’t want to raise kids don’t have em ! I hope the kids just move out and move to another state than when you elderly and you need em they send you to the old folks home ! Only reason to charge your kids rent is to take the money put it aside in a savings for em and eventually give it to em so they will have a nice fund to move out !
I agree almost 100% with you. I do understand sometimes a kid needs a push ( picture those late twenties boys who don't want to get a job and play video games all day ) maybe in that case some sort of rent might help push them towards a better life. But usually it is a terrible idea . I can't look at my mom the same after she became so fixated on money. I don't feel like I'm loved or wanted at home . I feel like a burden. Last year everything was fine but now money has ruined our relationship
I like how she was quick to throw her husband under the bus. Women make 80% of household purchases I bet if we lookwd into threir spending habits you would find that she's the one that spent them into debt. Dont be so quick to bad mouth your spouse.
I agree 100%. Would never let them move in without being married. My wife and I never lived together before marriage, married at 19 yrs old, and didn't have a child til 21. We've NEVER lived at or under the poverty level. At 35 now, we've been married almost 16 years. Doing very well. Thanks Dave!
@@ArmageddonIsHere His site does request that people not use credit cards there, but I think you technically could if you wanted to. "We recognize that the Visa and MasterCard monopoly on the debit card industries prohibits merchants from only taking debit cards. For that reason, it’s impossible for us to ensure that every order complies with our debit card policy. Our policy is no credit cards. Please honor that. And let us help you kick debt out of your life once and for all!"
My mom taught me nothing is for free in life. Now she can enjoy 50$ per hour to see her grandkids . It is very easy to see when a parent is trying to teach you responsibility becuase they love you, and when they just have a love and desire for money.
I'm charging my kids rent if they stay past 20. I will not be saving it for them. i will pay for them to go thru FPU. I will help them budget and save for themselves. Setting them up for independence. So when they leave my house they can stand on their own two feet and have enough money of their own to do what they want. I will not make a profit off them but they have to pay something to live. It's practice for the real world.
@@jackherbic6048 different generation different era man. Not saying it’s not possible but the chances of a 19 year old with their first job staying married for life it’s super low. I’d guess less than 20% if that.
Judge Judy used to say you can be a parent or you can be a landlord but you can't be both. Once a parent chooses to charge their underage child rent, the dynamic of the parent-child relationship changes and often not for the better. There are ways to teach children financial responsibility without making them feel like they are being exploited financially.
It depends on the age and maturity of both parent and child. If both are immature - yes it will be disastrous. If it is a mutual arrangement where both parties are getting what they want - I see nothing wrong with it. However once a child pays you rent, it is "no longer my roof". It is "our" home. They have every say in the finances as the parent. As long as the parent is willing to give up that control - it is okay.
My parents started charging me rent when I got my first job at 15. (It wasn’t much, I was just working a little after school job) I can say that as an adult I know the importance of paying rent/bills on time (could be because they charged me, could be because I grew up very familiar with cutoff notices and evictions). But I can also say it was enough that I was never really able to save and moved out as SOON as I could. I got my first apartment and lived for MONTHS in a house with no furniture/dishes/etc. If I was gonna be broke I was gonna be broke and making my own rules.
I don't think he was giving that advice. I heard Dave telling them to do things in the right order and as he said, "they can adjust that timing once they get more information from FPU." . That said, it's not at all uncommon for late teens/early 20s to marry. Biological age is important, but more important is mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity. I've known 18-year-olds who were far better prepared to handle life than some 50-year-olds. Dave is right: if they do things in order they will have a very good chance to succeed. Doing those steps in order (graduate, marry, then babies) shows commitment to each other, patience, self-control, and a willingness to sacrifice small doses of personal pleasure today for long-term joy and stability. As a happily married man for 20 years, I can say the joys and peace of doing things in the right order has certainly been a blessing to my wife and me in many ways, including finances.
@@sidwhiting665 You are certainly entitled to your opinion on this. I cannot tell you how many people I know that got married that young and were divorced within a few years. I guess it depends on what is common for each person/family. Personally, I think telling children to marry faster when they have no idea what their college years will bring is total insanity and just setting them up for divorce.
What's wrong with that? He always tells people they may as well get married if they're already acting like they are, e.g. living together, having children, etc. Marriage is just a legal formality at that point. If their age is an issue, take that up with the couple who decided to shack up that young.
I just don't understand why he pushes people to marry so quick. especially because they are still so young. i feel like waiting 2 years to 20 is the smart thing to do.
I've been paying rent since my teens, and as long as there is an agreement for the amount, I don't see a problem with it. I'm charged less than what I would have to pay otherwise, so it makes sense financially for me to be at home. If I had to pay more than I would have to if I moved out, then I would move out.
At that age I was paying my mums mortgage and utilities cause she was so uneducated with money it was left up to me to cover all of the monthly payments
If you have a moral dilemma on charging your child rent but feel you should do it so they learn about paying their way in life, just save it up for your kid on the quiet. Then when they finally get a mortgage & their own place one day, gift it as a lump sum to pay the mortgage principal down as a leaving home gift.
The only way it would ever make sense to charge your kids rent or insurance is if you set that money aside in an account and match their payments. Then release the money to them when they are 21 or 25
The get married poverty sequence doesn't however deal with other things that dictate if your marriage will survive. Stats in one area don't magically change things. There are drivers for why the stats are what they are.
Ever get a driver's license for a teen , I owned my home rent was not a problem , car insurance was jacked up especially after ms. know it all crashed into the rear of another.
My parents only started charging me rent once I was working full time and done with education! (I was 19 turning 20 in 6 months when I started paying rent and utilities) I pay 30% (because that's what I would be looking to pay if I was renting my own place) and I contribute to weekly shopping, contribute to gas and electricity and pay for treats every now and then. The rest of my income is mine to do with as I please!
Mid 80s I was a few yrs away from being 18 and was forced to pay them 200 a mo. 3 other siblings didnt, just me. Once Id saved enough to buy a car I was forbid to til I was out of the house. Couldnt have a license and eventually forced me to quit my job, side jobs. For yrs Id heard the day Im 18 I would be physically tossed out and forbid to return ever No way without transpo, some savings I wouldnt fail and eventually I did. Street walker by 18....demoralizing. Being adopted was the excuse I heard for doing me like that. This is one reason why I am for abortion, not everyone is fit to be a parent. Its for life not just a dozen yrs or so.
Remember that Dave isn’t here to judge his callers, he’s here to help them. That’s his job. If he were here to make fun of them, he would give them any advice and just openly roast them.
As a person who payed rent while living at home I actually choose to my parents didn’t ask. For me it was about gratitude my parents did so much for me and I had a great childhood thanks to all of their sacrifices. After college I felt the least I could do was contribute to the household expenses. I still budgeted and saved but I could not see myself making 45k/year and still mooching off my parents seemed embarrassing to me. So I payed $400 a month plus house keeping every two weeks ( my mom always worked full time I thought this would be a nice treat for her) I also payed the cable and internet and if we went out to eat I payed for them. Still do and I’m almost 40. Living with them helped me save money and invest in my future, contributing to the household expenses just made me feel good about my self as a daughter. Everyone is different and what works for each family is different, this was my choice as a 21year old living at home.
My parents told me that when I graduated from high school I'd either have to get a job and then pay rent (not excessive) to live at home or go to college which they would pay for. I took college and when I graduated got a job about 1 hour away and rented an apartment. They wanted me to leave the nest and become an adult. IMHO each kid is different. Some need more of a push and others don't. You do not want a deadbeat kid living at home for free without a job or a substandard job where they cannot support themselves. If a kid has a good job and still lives at home, I believe at least believe that they should pay a minimum amount to pay for their food.
Allie Hensel there’s a lot of problems with it. I’m not saying it’s 100% not going to work bc obviously it can work out, but there is a very high percentage chance it does not work out
267 divorce lawyers liked this video, they know their services will likely be needed for the 18 year old kids getting married, in about a year or less.
Does the poverty sequence tracks all the couples that marry before living together? like even the onces that break-up and divorce? I mean this is a pretty important differentiator, I don't have the numbers to back this up, but my intuition tells me that marrying first before living together it's a mayor cause for divorce, I think if you have lived together, traveled together and agree equaly and in positive ways about money, values, family and religion... it's hard for any couple to breakup/divorce later on and also being broke in the first place.
"I don't have numbers to back this up, but my intuition..." is wrong. "In a random-sample study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2010, 20 percent of people who married before living together had divorced; the divorce rate was notably higher, 28 percent, for those who cohabited before even getting engaged" But studies have looked deeper "Couples who lived together before marriage had a lower divorce rate in their first year of marriage, but had a higher divorce rate after five years."
I don’t get how shacking up increases the chances of poverty. I do see that having children before you’re ready does though. Contraception and abortion are modern ways of dealing with this issue.
Id never tell an 18 and 19 year old couple to get married! are you out of your mind!? Jeeze you dont even know who you are at that age, much less your partner. Terrible advice, even "family planning" PSAs from the 50s say that. What are you thinking man?
Best to start changing rent to your kids as soon as they can walk. Make a bill and anything they ask for will be charged to their tab. This teaches responsibility and wealth building skills. I also teach this to my viewers on my channel "How to charge your children rent at the right age"
bigsnake_inc-123 or how about making it illegal to have parents charge their kids rent, so that kids can actually save money and move out. I am grateful that my parents did not charge me rent. If they had, I would not be able to buy a house and move out. I am still financially responsible. There is no way in heck I am making my kids rent. That is just wrong in my opinion
Hello I’m from California I’m 19 about to turn 20 in a couple days . My parents are increasing my rent (during a pandemic) to 700$ a month that’s half my check and I would like to take them to court and I have signatures signing from them every time I payed bills is it possible for me to counter sue my parents? Reason I’m asking is because there’s a renters law protecting us tenants you feel me ?? So let me know If I have a valid case
I’m 21 and pay literally the same amount a month 🤦🏽♀️ I don’t know what to do about this. It’s so stressful. I feel like I’m barely saving any money and all my hard work is getting thrown away.
@@faeriekae imagine if you had to pay all the other bills from living 100% on your own. Power, water, car 🚗, groceries, etc.etc.. ... I'd say it would be less expensive to stay living home even if you are being charged rent.
So your 18 year old daughter is engaged to another 18 year old living in your home? As parents, that is a stupid decision! You need to tell your children that they don’t have any business getting married until they can take care of themselves first and when they’re prepared to take care of a family only then can they think about marriage. Your teenybopper daughter is going to end up pregnant before she can even get married. Wise up!
Unless the kid is a broke student staying home during school breaks or in dire straits, parents should ALWAYS charge 18+ children rent. It's something they will need to budget a majority of their life and this forces them to do so even if as parents you don't need it. The thing to do with it if the household does not need it is put it to the child's benefit such as investing, debt payment, etc...
Every one of my siblings shacked up before they got married and all are still married between thirty three and forty years later. Every one of them is doing well financially. With the rising cost of food, I am out of my comfort zone. I'm debt-free but worried about old age. Meat is almost unaffordable for our family.
I helped my parents with money since I started working at 14 yrs old $100 a pay check and I know it helped me understand that I would have bills and responsibilities when I moved out. I was contributing to our house hold. I did not see nothing wrong with that.
When you know you know. I got married 2 months after turning 19. He was 19 also. We are going on 5 rocky but strong years of marriage. We had lived together two months together before we wed. We had our daughter 2 months after our 2nd anniversary. Sure we were dumb with our money and got in debt which is why we started following Dave's show in the first place. We are soooo close to our finish line!!! Like every marriage it's alot of work. There are people in their 30's, 40's, and still can't get their lives together (as seen in this show). We both have some college, but as I've gotten older I realized you don't always have to have a college degree to make good money. With no degrees we make 20+ dollars an hour each and that's not including overtime pay. It's all about support, commitment, and drive to achieve our goals in marriage and finance. There is hope in this young couple. Not every young marriage ends in divorce just like there are some older marriages that still end in divorce. Everyone and every situation is different. Wishing them the best!♥️
There is a difference between teenager and adult. Over 18 is an adult. The real title for this video is should I charge my adult daughter rent. However, once you start this you can't go backwards. You will no longer have a right to invade their privacy. As in if the bedroom door is shut, it stays shut.
If you're talking about an 18-19yo teen then yes UNLESS they're going to school. They will be free to leave whenever as well as they will be allowed to come back home whenever.
What kind of parent would encourage 18 year old kids to get married? Absolutely idiotic. Never understood people that push this sort of behavior, look at the statistics, take a look around.
@@yamamancha If you want him to strive for higher than average, he needs to learn adulting 101, and that means paying your own way and earning a living, or going to school. You don't get a higher than average kid turn adult by coddling and giving them money, you get that by teaching them independence and responsibility.
@@bettysmith7045 That's why he pays for his own college with the promise that we'll discuss support AFTER he graduates. We also have a deal through which he gets financial support IF he makes over a certain amount from part time jobs. Basically, I aim to have him understand how the world works: "Those who have, get more".
No,no, no. Don’t push your kids to get married too early, you don’t want them to settle for just anyone. Instead push them to focus on their career/education At 18, my parents pushed for college and to postpone marriage until I had a good paying job. My parents insisted on letting me live rent free until I get my first full-time job. I got a job right after graduation a year ago at age 22, so I moved out . However, I had student loans and not much $$ to start out, so I had a less than ideal living situation with 4 roommates that refused to social distance/did drugs . My parents struggled with debt their entire lives so they recently let me live rent-free at home while I tackled my debt snowball (plus they hated being empty nesters). Best thing they’ve ever done, and i urge parents not to be quick to charge rent or kick your kids out. Had my parents not let me live rent free, it would have taken longer to make any progress financially and I would have likely gotten sick.
Listen if your struggling financially I can understand but otherwise you should be trying to help your kids put away money for a house. Not being like every other Tom dic and harry trying to nickel and dime.
Yeah. Debit & credit cards are EFTs (electronic fund transfers) and all made by the same companies. *Technically you can always pay with one or the other* 💁
@@mphomolapo1562 I just figured he would have it set up similar to how most mortgage and credit card companies accept payments. That would be a true stance against those credit card devils. 😁
This is what my parents did with me:
They charged me rent when I was in my teens/ early 20s paying $500 a month. I eventually left my parents house at 25. On my 26th birthday my dad gave me an account with $40,000 in it, a Roth IRA. He told me that moving out is the biggest thing that a boy can do and that he wanted me ready for the world I would face. He told me I could take the money and do whatever I wanted with it or continue adding to it. I chose the latter and to this day thank my dad for showing me the power of compounding interest, and dividend reinvestment
perfect dad
That is great if they can afford it....but it doesn't sound like they can!
P1imp0logy101 Yeah, I call bs on your story. Unless you are a professional athlete or dealing dope like the kid in American Beauty , no teen can afford to pay their parents 500 bucks a month.
Speaking Truths as an 18 year old, although my parents don’t charge me rent I could more than afford to spend $500 a month on rent
Thank you so much for sharing, you clearly have a incredible, smart and wise dad!!!
I have 4 kids 3 girls one boy. I'd NEVER let any of them move a bf or gf in my house. And I'd strongly suggest they not get engaged at 18.
Gear Grinder I know someone who got married at 18 and had their first child at 19 and they have been married together for well over 40 years. But yes, everyones different, and in most cases that may be too soon as people rush in not realizing what it is. But they both had a strong relationship with the Lord and knew exactly what they were doing. It happens at different times for different people- and if you are still waiting, be patient, it’s worth it. Don’t rush anything because you or others think “it should have happened by now.” You want them to be the right person. It will either be a blessing or a curse… and I recommend having a personal relationship with Jesus and following biblical principals. Thats the best and proven method. It’s THE truth and it works.
@@joshuamclean4588 I know of a few folks that did it at 18 and still together. I just prefer my kids wait. But I definitely want them to get married before children and never shack. But if any of my children came to me and wanted their significant other to live in my home the answer will always be NO. And I suspect this couple is claiming to be engaged just to have a place for the young man to stay in the home.
Gear Grinder right not a good idea to live together first but idk the situation. And I tend to agree it’s better to wait unless you’re absolutely certain God wants you to do it…
But no need to wait too long if you ARE ready. Most people arent at that age today.
I want my kids to marry young. I definitely don't want them committing fornication..
I got married at 18 (he was 19) and I’m 20 now and it’s the best thing ever. Honestly marriage can be fun and it’s great having a best friend and lover to be there. I know it’s harped on a lot but communication is key! I would also like to add that we are both in college and I’m graduating with my bachelors in nursing next December. He worked more so we could make it but will graduate with his bachelors soon after me (one year after me). Teamwork makes the dream work!
When I saw the title, after hearing so many stories about predatory parents and finding I have one of my own, my first thought was, “Sure you can charge teenagers rent - as long as you pay rent if you live with them when you’re elderly.”
thespiritbomb thats sweet but, my mother is a narcissist who made it pretty clear that she had used me for her personal and professional work so, if she completes destroying her home, that I was to inherit, she can go live on a park bench in a blizzard. She has, however made certain that my do nothing sister has the early inheritance of a free home so, I have learned my lesson and know that I never need to lift a finger for her again - EVER. If she ever needs any of the digital files I’ve created over the past few decades to further her personal work or continue the business I helped her build, she can start from scratch as, she’s only 76 now...
Well depends. I think if they turn 18 and get a job, then you can teach them responsibility by helping pay rent especially if you are paying for groceries and everything else, it’s just a drop in the bucket. They cans till take time to save and get ahead- but you’re teaching them practical skills and budgeting in the outside world. But it depends in the situation, I wouldn’t make it a requirement as soon as they’re 18- or you don’t have to. But you aren’t evil for asking you’re adult child to help pay some bills.
The when you’re old and can’t work, the situation is totally different. They took care of you all these years. If they can afford it and want to help/pay rent then fine. But if you’re parents are struggling financially, don’t throw them on the street just cuz they can’t pay you rent. Thats just wrong.
Joshua McLean well age 18 is right on the edge of adulthood. But, when it said teenager, I’ve heard parents charging their 14 year old rent. We’re not talking about charging them for the purpose of teaching them either. We’re talking about charging them for the purpose of making money off of raising a child and coming after them like a bill collector who’s about ready to put them out, if they’re delinquent. That is a business transaction. Not child rearing. While my mother’s narcissism didn’t really show up until later, that is the type of relationship a narcissistic parent often has with their child. As they say, narcissists don’t have relationships. They have business transactions with people. This often includes their own children and they can do this under the guise that they’re trying to raise their children properly and look normal to and obtain the support of the public, when what they may actually be doing is looking at their children as merely a SS#.
I don’t fault you for not understanding narcissism or NPD as, 2 years ago, I knew nothing about it myself. But, narcissists, typically, DO NOT change. It is not as part of the pathology of this personally disorder. So, basically, anyone using up their life, waiting for a narcissist to change? Every knowledgeable and experienced person and every psychotherapist feels nothing but pity for the lost life of the victims who decided it was a good idea to hold on for that to happen.
I am fortunate that I have a center, boundaries, don’t live with my family and never back down. This doesn’t mean I’m unknowledgeable enough to engage. But, there’s no getting hoovered back into a relationship with my mother and sister. I need not be told twice...
Private Private typically that is true. But I have seen Jesus change impossible situations. See David wood’s testimony. Was a sociopath, narcissistic personality, which is what this sounds like. Yes perhaps someone could claim things but not really have changed, but David wood has genuinely changed and there are those who do. I was not narcissistic or anything like that, but I was an outcast myself. Jesus turned my life around.
Joshua McLean sorry but, I deal with what has been historically-proven, as per the psychology profession. In addition to that, people with NPD are FIXED personalities and my mother has proven to be one, in many levels.
In addition to this, I’ve spent a good portion of my life dealing with her marital issues, her other personal and professional issues to, then, be told I had been used. I am in my 50s at this point. I could make the mistake of being lied to while giving chance after chance and it would result in me never having had a life - while she smirks at me being a fool, like most narcissists smirk at victims’ inability to disengage and protect themselves. She has used up what she had. Time I will never get back. Though late in the game, this is my life and my turn.
The rent isn’t the issue here. The issue is neither of them are being intentional with keeping money in the family.
Our adult daughter is in college, working full time and living with us at home. When she asked if I wanted rent, I told her no, as long as she would make double payments on her new car, and monthly show me the payments. She paid it off within 2 years. I was trying to teach her a lesson about debt and the power of focusing on debt to pay it down, then off.
Anyhow, never would I charge my children rent unless they were making well into living wages.
Shield-Maiden Goddess - my wife and I have agreed that as long as our children are moving forward in life in a direction that we agree with, we’ll support them (at least as far as living expenses go). However, I would be against supporting my children if they simply wanted to live in the basement and play video games all day...this is where I’d implement something like rent.
😂
@@briemann4124 it's right. You - good father.We must help our children have house/school/university that they help us later. We must love our children.
In Russia, we take care of our children
She would be further ahead in money wisdom if you didnt let her buy a "new" car but rather a had her buy a used car.
@Sir We Are About to Die and doing well. However that does not cancel the math of a used car compared to a new car
This one gave me a headache. This lady is intense.
Marlyn Santos same. Also didnt hear her taking any responsibility for being broke on her end.
Yep!
@@lesliek7776 well she said they were just doing what her husband wanted
I'd be ashamed if I was ever so broke I had to take money from my teenage kid.
Get your lives together.
not everyone is able to afford it. in my case my mom raised 4 kids by herself working 50 hours a week and was still unable to keep up. So i started paying rent at 15. its not as simple as just "getting their lives together"
@@BoredAFM9 was she a window? If not she had responsibility in picking a suitable partner where she wouldn't have to raise 4 kids by herself
JD what if their mom was a widow? Should she have picked a spouse she knew wouldn’t die and leave her with four kids? Stop making TH-cam judgments about people you don’t know?
@@sjaykay9884 very small percentage of the population, so much so we can safely assume that isn't the case in the situation from this video.
JD no we can’t assume things to fit the conclusions we want. You’ve decided the mom in that scenario made bad life choices, so you’re using the rationale that fits your conclusion. Point is none of us know but that person who commented so stop with the judgmental bs
This is probably a divorce waiting to happen 🤦♀️. They are 18 and 19, what is the rush?!!!! How about they get an education and career where they can actually not have to live in poverty BEFORE they even think about marriage. How about maturing and really finding their adult selves BEFORE they get engaged and married. Ugh... These two will be popping out kids they cannot afford, and living off the system in a year I bet!!!
They both have a great deal of maturity to be able understand and want to follow Dave's plan. They're probably good kids. 🤷 The parents liked him enough to house him.
I got married at 19. Been married 5 years. No regrets! 🤷🏾♀️
Not necessarily. I met my husband at 19, married at 20, still married 25 years later. Doesn’t mean it was easy. We also had kids later. Just because we got married early doesn’t mean you stop making good choices.
You shouldn't need your kids' money. Any rent should be invested and given back to them when they move out
I agree, and it was astonishing to hear that the parents don't even have $1,000 in the bank. Who does that?!?
Ben Kucenski I mean my sister lived at home at 27 years old making enough money to move out herself but she stayed at home and paid very discounted rent which helped my dad and herself. She’s now married and lives with her husband in their own home but the situation helped both parties. She was also home where my little siblings were and it was nice for them too
Unbeknownst to me, that’s what my parents did. They had put my rent money in a separate savings account and gave it to me to purchase kitchen and laundry appliances when I moved out.
@@sheilaflory2541 A surprise like that must have come in very handy for you. Kind and thoughtful parents, nice.
A much needed little nest egg waiting for them when they decide to leave home takes away some of the pressure.
I'm 24 and the thought of getting married still scares me. I guess everyones life path isn't the same.
I’m 33 and I already made a choice not to get married
That's fine if you're a male. You can debate that decision for another 15 years without significant consequence. Just remember that dwindling fertility is a real thing for women.
If you ever want to have kids, you'd better have it together and be able to attract the 24yo when you're 36yo. Don't be the 36yo who finally decides to marry his girlfriend of 10-15 years only to have to go through the fertility struggle. You'd be better off staying single and focusing on yourself for several years and then open up to dating and marriage.
seth 603 because your parents taught you better.
yamamancha This is a very, veryyyyyy real point!!! So true! I agree completely!! -30 yr old woman
Eddie Wow I don’t think his parents taught him marriage should scare him. Possibly you have a problem with women but that’s a different matter
The family system in America is so dysfunctional. What’s up with this bs about making you’re teenage kids pay rent? Like they’re not even your kids. I’m fine with kids helping their parents financially and they should but this whole rent thing is so weird.
Gets them ready for the real world...parents might need the help.
I was paying 200 a mo to my parents when I was 15/16. Only thing I resented was my other 3 siblings never had to....were bought cars help with buying homes etc. This was mid 80s, literally every penny I earned.
In my case just another way to make sure I left asap. And I did...
@@gordocarboyou were exploited and the least favorite child. Sorry to tell ya
This woman is going to Grandma in 5 minutes.
Harv she seems super happy about it too
Harv - Right. They will all be living there, kids and grandkids. And the guy might just disappear altogether.
Fortunately we live in a modern society and we have things like contraception or abortion. There are ways to make sure you don’t have children before you’re ready.
@@fmccloud Sadly you can “abort”. But as a Christian who believes that all children are child’s of God I believe that abortion is wrong. When you abort a baby you are saying that you don’t care about God’s will. I would rather a baby be put up for adoption rather than not any have a chance in life. They could be a scientist who changes the world. They could be a president of our country. You never know.
@@brandonbullardjr1487 they can also be a serial killer, so.....
Is this video titled accurately? My impression was that they were questioning how the rent money should be allocated, not whether or not rent should be charged. Did i miss something?
CoffeeOnKeyboard same
CoffeeOnKeyboard If you have a debt, or loan that needs to be pay, or just want to make some extra cash text 1 (518) 547-4763 for more info.
@@parkerread154 hy if you u wanna pay me some cash or pay my debt hit me up. interested👍
asad rahimi text me on my number, sure will
It is called "click bait," my dude. It got me to click the video.
am i the only one who noticed how quickly she threw her husband under the bus?
Edit: not cool*
Repeatedly. And tried to return to that theme several times.
Didn't seem that clued into Dave.
Plus - engaged teens?
😶
Unfortunately it's the mentality of many women these days....especially millenial women.
Well depends on if he was the one doing the bills and budget and got them into debt.
byront - well when the husband, like mine, had made bad financial decisions, then yea I’m going to tell him he did wrong. Millennial or not.
@@mercuryrising2424 Extremist feminist women. So basically 80% of the female populus.
Making your teenager pay rent is the biggest mistake you can make as a parent, your supposed to set them up for success not stress and debt
Should a child pay rent to there parents? yes. Should the parents make a profit from it? no. It's called responsibility. So when the child moves out on there own they know the rules of paying rent. as a parent I would give 85%/ 92% back to child they move out. If your over 23 years old. Full rent. But dad it would be cheaper if i moved out? by. then.
Teenager will quickly become 30 year old who expects mommy and daddy to pay for everything. - pay rent or get yourself a different living arrangement
18+ is an adult.
Nobody lives for free.
The majority of parents are not charging outrages rent.
They learn responsibility
I plan on charging my kids "rent" (matching their rent payments with my own money) and putting the money all in a roth ira and other savings fund for them when they are ready to move out they'll have something to take care of themselves with and will have learned how to handle the pressure of owing money to someone so they'll be better equipped at life
Long story short callers broke looking for money from kids to make up for their bad habits
Calling into the show after listening to Dave for one week! Things must have been pretty dire.
Why not have the boyfriend move out and let the daughter stay rent-free? If he is serious about becoming her husband, having to sleep without her at night for a while will not make him change his mind and get "engaged" to someone else. If he is not Mr. Right, limiting his "conjugal visits" will cause him to wander away - from causing her to endure an early divorce.
I think she just called to get FPU for free. LOL
Lol 😆
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Hey good for her I might do the same
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Nope! My son is 20 and we don’t charge him rent. This is his time to build and get himself into a healthy financial situation so he can afford his own bills and have some cushion.
People that can’t support themselves always want their kids to help out.
Why is he still living at home at 20?
Unpopular I guess but we charged "rent" (her phone/insurance plus 100) it was modest but kept her accountable and mindful that she's not a child mooching off her parents. She's married and in her own now and we help out with car repairs and household stuff because we want to, not because we have to.
Just another side of it.
@Sirena Spades why would you not Olive at home at 20. Most 20 years olds are in college don’t have a real job making a ton of money. Probably close to minimum wage or a little bit over minimum wage. How how are they gonna live on their own with that. The best thing like the comment said is to stay with your parents if they allow it and save up money till your done school and have a real job. Then after saving money and having a real job and being done school then you can move out but, moving out at 20 to me is not a good idea in a lot of the time. Not all the time bc situations are obviously different but a lot of the times it is just better to do as I said previously
@@SirenaSpades it’s impossible live by yourself self unless you make 25 an hour
I think if you do this it should be in an account for the child to get back later in life when they need a car, go to college, or move out of your home.
Wish I would have learned about Dave Ramsey at 16😩
Gee Cee If you have a debt, or loan that needs to be pay, or just want to make some extra cash text 1 (518) 547-4763 for more info.
It's never too late, unless you've never heard of him at all! :-)
How old are you know ??
@@luccianoblock5127 26
"just got their first job" and "just got engaged" are two very very scary things that close in proximity. They're old enough to play adult to get married, time for them to play adult and tootle out on their own. Good luck, darlings.
They aren’t married yet- engaged is not the same.
Another knocked up teen! Good job mom and guy!
I'll add my "story" I've been with my wife since 15 (now 23 and her 25) have been marrired for a year with 3 kids and it's the best thing ever. I am grateful to make a good enough living to were she does not have to work. She loves it.
jr5.o way to go! what kind of work do you do?
@@lesliek7776 i am a heavy equipment operator.
jr5.o sounds like you are both hard workers and taking good care of each other. Your children are blessed.
Nice
I never understood parents asking for rent from their kids. It's so rude towards kids. My parents demanded that I saved 70% of my income so I could build up capital before moving out: "Now that you are home you can still save." Also 18-19 years old is way too young to get engaged and get married. You have no clue yet who you are. Wait till you are 27-28 years old orso.
well, that's your opinion. My parents were married 18-19 years old, and are still together 48 years later. You can't say who is ready at 18, 19, 20, whatever. I know 30 year olds that have no clue.
@@Enoch5939 If they don't have kids there no reason to get married that young... You can still be together and get married later. Sure it could work out but there is no point.
Parents are only required to support their children financially until they are 18. After that, they are adults. Charging adult children a reasonable amount of rent is perfectly logical. Doing so can help ensure they don’t take their situation for granted and become too comfortable staying at Mom and Dad’s house forever. As Dave says, “if you never kick an eagle out of the nest, it becomes a turkey.”
If they are adults and living it home they need to contribute. Even if you don't charge them real "actual" rent prices they need to understand they can't just exist in a house for free, they use the water, the electric, the gas, the broadband... they need to help pay for it... WHEN they're working.
@@blueowl8928 contributing doesn't change how your kids treat you. Education and upbringing do that.
Why do you these young kids want to get married at 19? What is the rush?
That was the norm to get married at 13 in the United States and throughout all of Europe and they're 19 and yes they should get support instead of being left stranded by selfish parents who likely leeched off their kids for at least tax breaks and so on.
I appreciate how patient and generous he was with her. She’s new to all of this information. Let them get into the lifestyle a bit and make decisions wi proper knowledge instead of pinpointing the worst parts of what she said. Hey, at least she called 🤷🏾♀️
Just remember if you charge them rent you can not kick them out they now have rights and privileges.
There’s no evidence at all that getting married too young or before you’re ready in order to do things in the right order helps you to avoid poverty. There is a lot of evidence that getting married too early puts you at high risk for divorce. The reason that doing things in the “success sequence” is associated with success is because people who plan ahead tend both to do things in that order and to be successful, but marrying young because of parental pressure doesn’t magically make you a planner.
Ok so if she doesn’t pay rent then where does she go?
How about make her get a job to pay for her car or something not rent. Smh
Charging your kids rent like you had em it you didn’t want to raise kids don’t have em ! I hope the kids just move out and move to another state than when you elderly and you need em they send you to the old folks home ! Only reason to charge your kids rent is to take the money put it aside in a savings for em and eventually give it to em so they will have a nice fund to move out !
I agree almost 100% with you.
I do understand sometimes a kid needs a push ( picture those late twenties boys who don't want to get a job and play video games all day ) maybe in that case some sort of rent might help push them towards a better life.
But usually it is a terrible idea .
I can't look at my mom the same after she became so fixated on money. I don't feel like I'm loved or wanted at home . I feel like a burden. Last year everything was fine but now money has ruined our relationship
I like how she was quick to throw her husband under the bus. Women make 80% of household purchases I bet if we lookwd into threir spending habits you would find that she's the one that spent them into debt. Dont be so quick to bad mouth your spouse.
Matt Corriere 💯
Matt Corriere Agreed, she could’ve simply just asked the question and left her husband out of the conversation.
@@ShadaeMastersAstrology She hated having to look bad by the listeners assuming she was responsible for their situation. I can relate to that feeling.
I agree 100%. Would never let them move in without being married. My wife and I never lived together before marriage, married at 19 yrs old, and didn't have a child til 21. We've NEVER lived at or under the poverty level. At 35 now, we've been married almost 16 years. Doing very well. Thanks Dave!
The level of irony in (considering) paying for FPU with a credit card....
Sometimes I feel people bait Dave to give FPU to them..
@@brandonrides8953 he gets something back out of the call.
You can only pay with a debit card on his website
Dave doesn't accept credit cards for FPU payments..
@@ArmageddonIsHere His site does request that people not use credit cards there, but I think you technically could if you wanted to.
"We recognize that the Visa and MasterCard monopoly on the debit card industries prohibits merchants from only taking debit cards. For that reason, it’s impossible for us to ensure that every order complies with our debit card policy. Our policy is no credit cards. Please honor that. And let us help you kick debt out of your life once and for all!"
My mom taught me nothing is for free in life. Now she can enjoy 50$ per hour to see her grandkids .
It is very easy to see when a parent is trying to teach you responsibility becuase they love you, and when they just have a love and desire for money.
Wait, you mean you charge her $50 an hour to see her grandkids, or she charges you?
Why would he advise two people to rush their plans to get married WITHOUT speaking WITH them?
I wonder if Kelly gets a bonus each time Dave makes her pick up
😂
Soljarag5 whos Kelly..?
haha
Poor Kelly 😂😂😂
LOL!
After highschool yes during school no
I'm charging my kids rent if they stay past 20. I will not be saving it for them. i will pay for them to go thru FPU. I will help them budget and save for themselves. Setting them up for independence. So when they leave my house they can stand on their own two feet and have enough money of their own to do what they want. I will not make a profit off them but they have to pay something to live. It's practice for the real world.
18 & 19 and they are engaged, lol I can see how this is gonna end up
My grandparents got married out of high school. Just passed their 70 year anniversary.
@@jackherbic6048 different generation different era man. Not saying it’s not possible but the chances of a 19 year old with their first job staying married for life it’s super low. I’d guess less than 20% if that.
She wasn't answering the question about how old they are...
She said 18 or older and teenagers so can only be 18 or 19
They're EFFING 18, why is he encouraging them to MOVE UP ANY TIME LINE??!?!?!
Judge Judy used to say you can be a parent or you can be a landlord but you can't be both. Once a parent chooses to charge their underage child rent, the dynamic of the parent-child relationship changes and often not for the better. There are ways to teach children financial responsibility without making them feel like they are being exploited financially.
It depends on the age and maturity of both parent and child. If both are immature - yes it will be disastrous. If it is a mutual arrangement where both parties are getting what they want - I see nothing wrong with it. However once a child pays you rent, it is "no longer my roof". It is "our" home. They have every say in the finances as the parent. As long as the parent is willing to give up that control - it is okay.
Judge Judy was wrong.
My parents started charging me rent when I got my first job at 15. (It wasn’t much, I was just working a little after school job) I can say that as an adult I know the importance of paying rent/bills on time (could be because they charged me, could be because I grew up very familiar with cutoff notices and evictions). But I can also say it was enough that I was never really able to save and moved out as SOON as I could. I got my first apartment and lived for MONTHS in a house with no furniture/dishes/etc. If I was gonna be broke I was gonna be broke and making my own rules.
I'm sorry to hear of that. I hope you got a much better paying job now and have furnitures and dishes and everything else!
He is telling an 18 and 19 year old to get married faster? Thats insane.
I don't think he was giving that advice. I heard Dave telling them to do things in the right order and as he said, "they can adjust that timing once they get more information from FPU."
.
That said, it's not at all uncommon for late teens/early 20s to marry. Biological age is important, but more important is mental, emotional, and spiritual maturity. I've known 18-year-olds who were far better prepared to handle life than some 50-year-olds. Dave is right: if they do things in order they will have a very good chance to succeed. Doing those steps in order (graduate, marry, then babies) shows commitment to each other, patience, self-control, and a willingness to sacrifice small doses of personal pleasure today for long-term joy and stability. As a happily married man for 20 years, I can say the joys and peace of doing things in the right order has certainly been a blessing to my wife and me in many ways, including finances.
@@sidwhiting665 You are certainly entitled to your opinion on this. I cannot tell you how many people I know that got married that young and were divorced within a few years. I guess it depends on what is common for each person/family.
Personally, I think telling children to marry faster when they have no idea what their college years will bring is total insanity and just setting them up for divorce.
@@Lianne459 it's not an opinion, friend. Responsibly, dedication, and commitment are more decisive than biological age. Period.
@@naomil6616 congratulations and well-done!
What's wrong with that? He always tells people they may as well get married if they're already acting like they are, e.g. living together, having children, etc. Marriage is just a legal formality at that point. If their age is an issue, take that up with the couple who decided to shack up that young.
I just don't understand why he pushes people to marry so quick. especially because they are still so young. i feel like waiting 2 years to 20 is the smart thing to do.
Yeh they should wate but her parints should not let her move a boy in never works out
They’re also adult enough to live together. Why wouldn’t they get married?
Because they are already living together.
@Johnny S it means you most likely won't.
@Johnny S
3 years will turn into 6 years fast, and she’ll likely be still thinking about the ring
Encouraging two teenagers to get married is supremely stupid.
They may as well, if they're already living together.
I've been paying rent since my teens, and as long as there is an agreement for the amount, I don't see a problem with it. I'm charged less than what I would have to pay otherwise, so it makes sense financially for me to be at home. If I had to pay more than I would have to if I moved out, then I would move out.
Ummm...I can’t be the only person thinking, Dave’s right. Until he starts talking about them getting married at 18/19 lol.
Can we meet Kelly?? She does so much👏💪🏻‼️
At that age I was paying my mums mortgage and utilities cause she was so uneducated with money it was left up to me to cover all of the monthly payments
This lady was great. So exciting to see fresh faces spark a fire and get motivated to change their life
If you have a moral dilemma on charging your child rent but feel you should do it so they learn about paying their way in life, just save it up for your kid on the quiet. Then when they finally get a mortgage & their own place one day, gift it as a lump sum to pay the mortgage principal down as a leaving home gift.
The only way it would ever make sense to charge your kids rent or insurance is if you set that money aside in an account and match their payments. Then release the money to them when they are 21 or 25
Dave shouldn't even let people pay for FPU with credit cards.
The get married poverty sequence doesn't however deal with other things that dictate if your marriage will survive. Stats in one area don't magically change things. There are drivers for why the stats are what they are.
I literary know what he’s going to say before he says it. It’s the same answers every time.
Wow I was NOT ready to be married at 19 lol
They prob aren’t either
Ever get a driver's license for a teen , I owned my home rent was not a problem , car insurance was jacked up especially after ms. know it all crashed into the rear of another.
My parents only started charging me rent once I was working full time and done with education! (I was 19 turning 20 in 6 months when I started paying rent and utilities) I pay 30% (because that's what I would be looking to pay if I was renting my own place) and I contribute to weekly shopping, contribute to gas and electricity and pay for treats every now and then. The rest of my income is mine to do with as I please!
Mid 80s I was a few yrs away from being 18 and was forced to pay them 200 a mo.
3 other siblings didnt, just me. Once Id saved enough to buy a car I was forbid to til I was out of the house. Couldnt have a license and eventually forced me to quit my job, side jobs.
For yrs Id heard the day Im 18 I would be physically tossed out and forbid to return ever
No way without transpo, some savings I wouldnt fail and eventually I did. Street walker by 18....demoralizing. Being adopted was the excuse I heard for doing me like that.
This is one reason why I am for abortion, not everyone is fit to be a parent. Its for life not just a dozen yrs or so.
Remember that Dave isn’t here to judge his callers, he’s here to help them. That’s his job. If he were here to make fun of them, he would give them any advice and just openly roast them.
As a person who payed rent while living at home I actually choose to my parents didn’t ask. For me it was about gratitude my parents did so much for me and I had a great childhood thanks to all of their sacrifices. After college I felt the least I could do was contribute to the household expenses. I still budgeted and saved but I could not see myself making 45k/year and still mooching off my parents seemed embarrassing to me. So I payed $400 a month plus house keeping every two weeks ( my mom always worked full time I thought this would be a nice treat for her) I also payed the cable and internet and if we went out to eat I payed for them. Still do and I’m almost 40. Living with them helped me save money and invest in my future, contributing to the household expenses just made me feel good about my self as a daughter. Everyone is different and what works for each family is different, this was my choice as a 21year old living at home.
how long did you stay with them
wow!!! admirable in so many ways. and obvious that your parents did their job to raise a stellar young woman. Congrats!
CoffeeOnKeyboard Thank You!😊
My parents told me that when I graduated from high school I'd either have to get a job and then pay rent (not excessive) to live at home or go to college which they would pay for. I took college and when I graduated got a job about 1 hour away and rented an apartment. They wanted me to leave the nest and become an adult. IMHO each kid is different. Some need more of a push and others don't. You do not want a deadbeat kid living at home for free without a job or a substandard job where they cannot support themselves. If a kid has a good job and still lives at home, I believe at least believe that they should pay a minimum amount to pay for their food.
18 is wayyyy too young
Why gettting married so young
Because there is nothing wrong with it.
Allie Hensel there’s a lot of problems with it. I’m not saying it’s 100% not going to work bc obviously it can work out, but there is a very high percentage chance it does not work out
267 divorce lawyers liked this video, they know their services will likely be needed for the 18 year old kids getting married, in about a year or less.
lol
My grandparents got married out of high school. Just passed their 70 year anniversary.
@@jackherbic6048 how different do you think your grandparents were at 18 compared to these 18 year olds?
Bitter Betty
Does the poverty sequence tracks all the couples that marry before living together? like even the onces that break-up and divorce? I mean this is a pretty important differentiator, I don't have the numbers to back this up, but my intuition tells me that marrying first before living together it's a mayor cause for divorce, I think if you have lived together, traveled together and agree equaly and in positive ways about money, values, family and religion... it's hard for any couple to breakup/divorce later on and also being broke in the first place.
"I don't have numbers to back this up, but my intuition..." is wrong. "In a random-sample study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2010, 20 percent of people who married before living together had divorced; the divorce rate was notably higher, 28 percent, for those who cohabited before even getting engaged" But studies have looked deeper "Couples who lived together before marriage had a lower divorce rate in their first year of marriage, but had a higher divorce rate after five years."
I don’t get how shacking up increases the chances of poverty. I do see that having children before you’re ready does though. Contraception and abortion are modern ways of dealing with this issue.
New here but where is the information for the FPU? I’d love to get on board and move forward.
Kelly always picking up lol.
Id never tell an 18 and 19 year old couple to get married! are you out of your mind!?
Jeeze you dont even know who you are at that age, much less your partner. Terrible advice, even "family planning" PSAs from the 50s say that. What are you thinking man?
You are so wrong
@@brianjonker510 Ive been married for over a decade. Get off my lawn
Brandy Fuller You are so wrong
@@naomil6616 I mean i married young too, doesnt mean I dont know how statistics work
Nothing wrong with age can get married at 30 and get a divorce few years later nothing has to do with age
Best to start changing rent to your kids as soon as they can walk. Make a bill and anything they ask for will be charged to their tab. This teaches responsibility and wealth building skills.
I also teach this to my viewers on my channel "How to charge your children rent at the right age"
bigsnake_inc-123 or how about making it illegal to have parents charge their kids rent, so that kids can actually save money and move out. I am grateful that my parents did not charge me rent. If they had, I would not be able to buy a house and move out. I am still financially responsible. There is no way in heck I am making my kids rent. That is just wrong in my opinion
@@juliennetully4814 its a troll
Took in my teenage daughter fiancé 😂😂
How does not moving in together before being married help against being in the poverty level?
When they said teenagers, I thought they meant 15 or 16... 18/19 year olds are adults already? (at least where I live)
They are young adults but they are also teenagers. They are teenaged adults.
@brandon got it. It's probably a cultural thing. Where Im from, anyone above 18 is no longer considered a teenager, but a young adult.
Hello I’m from California I’m 19 about to turn 20 in a couple days . My parents are increasing my rent (during a pandemic) to 700$ a month that’s half my check and I would like to take them to court and I have signatures signing from them every time I payed bills is it possible for me to counter sue my parents? Reason I’m asking is because there’s a renters law protecting us tenants you feel me ?? So let me know If I have a valid case
I’m 21 and pay literally the same amount a month 🤦🏽♀️ I don’t know what to do about this. It’s so stressful. I feel like I’m barely saving any money and all my hard work is getting thrown away.
@@faeriekae imagine if you had to pay all the other bills from living 100% on your own. Power, water, car 🚗, groceries, etc.etc.. ... I'd say it would be less expensive to stay living home even if you are being charged rent.
So your 18 year old daughter is engaged to another 18 year old living in your home? As parents, that is a stupid decision! You need to tell your children that they don’t have any business getting married until they can take care of themselves first and when they’re prepared to take care of a family only then can they think about marriage. Your teenybopper daughter is going to end up pregnant before she can even get married. Wise up!
amen
Christina in Nevada becomes *Ashley in Ohio* 🤔🤔🤔
"Took in who? what? where?!" Heck No!!!
Why don't couples ever call in TOGETHER?
Unless the kid is a broke student staying home during school breaks or in dire straits, parents should ALWAYS charge 18+ children rent. It's something they will need to budget a majority of their life and this forces them to do so even if as parents you don't need it. The thing to do with it if the household does not need it is put it to the child's benefit such as investing, debt payment, etc...
Every one of my siblings shacked up before they got married and all are still married between thirty three and forty years later. Every one of them is doing well financially. With the rising cost of food, I am out of my comfort zone. I'm debt-free but worried about old age.
Meat is almost unaffordable for our family.
No, your teens shouldn’t be paying you rent. Let them save their money for college, pay off debt, or moving out once their 18+.
I helped my parents with money since I started working at 14 yrs old $100 a pay check and I know it helped me understand that I would have bills and responsibilities when I moved out. I was contributing to our house hold. I did not see nothing wrong with that.
Christina moved from Ohio -> Nevada instantly!
Joe Smith her named changed too 😂
When you know you know. I got married 2 months after turning 19. He was 19 also. We are going on 5 rocky but strong years of marriage. We had lived together two months together before we wed. We had our daughter 2 months after our 2nd anniversary. Sure we were dumb with our money and got in debt which is why we started following Dave's show in the first place. We are soooo close to our finish line!!! Like every marriage it's alot of work. There are people in their 30's, 40's, and still can't get their lives together (as seen in this show). We both have some college, but as I've gotten older I realized you don't always have to have a college degree to make good money. With no degrees we make 20+ dollars an hour each and that's not including overtime pay. It's all about support, commitment, and drive to achieve our goals in marriage and finance. There is hope in this young couple. Not every young marriage ends in divorce just like there are some older marriages that still end in divorce. Everyone and every situation is different. Wishing them the best!♥️
There is a difference between teenager and adult. Over 18 is an adult. The real title for this video is should I charge my adult daughter rent. However, once you start this you can't go backwards. You will no longer have a right to invade their privacy. As in if the bedroom door is shut, it stays shut.
Scientifically you're not an adult until around 23-25.
Sounds like a roommate situation some of these comments😂
If you're talking about an 18-19yo teen then yes UNLESS they're going to school. They will be free to leave whenever as well as they will be allowed to come back home whenever.
They want to charge their kids rent to PAY for their debt?? Ridiculous
No, time to get rid of that boomer mentality. Gotta support your loved ones so they are able to achieve their fullest potential.
What kind of parent would encourage 18 year old kids to get married? Absolutely idiotic. Never understood people that push this sort of behavior, look at the statistics, take a look around.
@Sir We Are About to Die such an archaic thought process
I married at 18 live with my dad two years he charged me rent. Which was the right thing to do
I'm thinking about charging my son rent just to light a fire up his behind.
Guess someone sucks at parenting
@@ErrorPagenotFound-ig1cy Or maybe I want him to strive for higher than average
@@yamamancha If you want him to strive for higher than average, he needs to learn adulting 101, and that means paying your own way and earning a living, or going to school. You don't get a higher than average kid turn adult by coddling and giving them money, you get that by teaching them independence and responsibility.
CHARGE HIM! IF you feel bad about charging him, than put the money in a separate account and give it back to him someday.
@@bettysmith7045 That's why he pays for his own college with the promise that we'll discuss support AFTER he graduates. We also have a deal through which he gets financial support IF he makes over a certain amount from part time jobs.
Basically, I aim to have him understand how the world works: "Those who have, get more".
No,no, no. Don’t push your kids to get married too early, you don’t want them to settle for just anyone. Instead push them to focus on their career/education
At 18, my parents pushed for college and to postpone marriage until I had a good paying job. My parents insisted on letting me live rent free until I get my first full-time job. I got a job right after graduation a year ago at age 22, so I moved out . However, I had student loans and not much $$ to start out, so I had a less than ideal living situation with 4 roommates that refused to social distance/did drugs .
My parents struggled with debt their entire lives so they recently let me live rent-free at home while I tackled my debt snowball (plus they hated being empty nesters).
Best thing they’ve ever done, and i urge parents not to be quick to charge rent or kick your kids out. Had my parents not let me live rent free, it would have taken longer to make any progress financially and I would have likely gotten sick.
Bravo Dave!
Listen if your struggling financially I can understand but otherwise you should be trying to help your kids put away money for a house. Not being like every other Tom dic and harry trying to nickel and dime.
Hold up. Dave accepts credit cards for financial peace university? 😁
The irony of paying for FPU with a credit card makes me laugh
Yeah. Debit & credit cards are EFTs (electronic fund transfers) and all made by the same companies. *Technically you can always pay with one or the other* 💁
@@mphomolapo1562 I just figured he would have it set up similar to how most mortgage and credit card companies accept payments.
That would be a true stance against those credit card devils. 😁
It was a teenage wedding, and the old folks wished them well
You could see that Pierre did truly love the mademoiselle
Wish Dave would have spoke on the teenagers living in sin under their roof🏡.
I wonder if anyone else heard her say that......
Absolutely not.....I will never charge my daughter rent or any other thing.