Mindset Shifts that Can Change Your Life | How to Build A Healthy Mindset
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ส.ค. 2018
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All of us are going through life with certain perspectives, ideas or stories about the way things are - or at least the way we think they are
We all have 'truths' that govern our lives, but sometimes these truths are not actually very true at all, and can even become unhealthy, unhelpful, unserving and unproductive ways of seeing ourselves, others and the world.
In this episode of Good For Me TV, we're going to talk about 5 powerful mindset shifts that may offer you a different way to understand some things that will help you build a healthy mindset. These have definitely changed my life, and I hope there will be some mindset shifts for you as well.
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Which one helped you see things in a different, more empowering way?
"When my house is clean and properly decorated, I'll be happy and at peace." Thanks for the reminder that inner happiness takes inward focus!
..."because its our problem", I found the most empowering.
Not everyone thinks in the same way, this is easy to forget and it doesn't mean the other is wrong/ misguided just different: Men and women make this mistake of each other all of the time.
I'm only 20 years old,so it's all of them
When and then. Been there, done that.
The "when I acheive X I will let myself relax/be happy/rewarded/in love/be confident/etc" I was never allowed to just BE as a child. Whateve I did my parents found some fault w it, n they'd even change the goal posts on me. One day they wanted me to be an obedient doormat that never spoke up but berate me the next day cuz I did not tell them I had a field trip or worn out tires. I still feel so hopeless, even though I went no contacy w them 10 years ago.
I’ve had a problem with all of them at some point lol! I played the victim for years and wasted a lot of precious time. I’m now 65 and have a lot of regrets and unfulfilled goals because of waiting for the perfect time or opportunity. Young people, don’t make the same mistakes I made. Learn to be content and happy where ever you are and please don’t depend on someone else to “make you happy.” I’ve learned (very late but at least finally got it) that happiness is a choice and is nobody else’s responsibility. I’m also learning not to be hypersensitive about what others did or say to me. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt or just move on. Thanks, Julia for another great video. You have a lot of wisdom for someone so young.
This is all really powerful wisdom SandramA! And better to be living in these truths at 65 than 75. xo
i could not agree more.
great sharing
I'm 68 and glad I'm not alone, much peace and love to you.
great comment,I am over 60 too and wish I have more wisdom when I was young
Watched it again. BIG SHIFT:
“When we go on the OFFENSIVE people get DEFENSIVE, walls go UP and communication goes DOWN.”
Oh, how I need to remember this!!!
Big Shift-there are so many things I have no control over (whether these are just or unjust) but I can choose joy, gratitude, and the taking of intentional steps to make imperfect situations better.
At this very moment, I'm sitting in my dream house filled with lovely things that I collected over the past decade that I 'needed' to be happy and successful. After a lifetime of not having much and in later years having success in business, I fed into the beliefs of people around me that in order to be successful, you needed to appear a certain way... large house, fine furniture, nice car, huge wardrobe etc. What I've discovered recently though is that it's not the house and 'things' that are making me happy, it's the health (physical/mental and spiritual) related changes that I've made in the past few years that are the true reason for my happiness/contentedness/connectiveness. Now, I'm surrounded by 'stuff'...and that's all it is.... that I'm in the process of finding new homes for so I can move myself into a simpler, more minimalistic lifestyle. BIG SHIFT in my life for sure :)
A huge part of the third one for me is GRATITUDE. I still remember from years ago Dr Phil saying to write down everything you don't have. Then write down everything you DO HAVE. Then imagine one by one having what you have being taken away from you. Gratitude for where you are and what you have is very powerful.
I couldn't agree more!
Good point.👍
Thanks for the information I'm going to add this to my routine.
BIG Shift!!! Taking responsibility for myself has angled me to check myself when I get irritated with someone. Practice, practice is all I can do. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
I love the last two on: dont be jealous but happy when someone get a goal because there is one for you too.
And i also like leaving the problem to those who are jerks and focus on where we're heading.
5:55 is about ego... "when i get there"... "i will finally be there "...... but when you get "there", your goals have moved up to another "there". This is your ego talking to you.... ego is always hungry, always wants more and more and more. Its never "there".... its right here.
Absolutely!'
Your ego is not your amigo 😐
Just retired, I am struggling with to much free time. Listening to you is helping me. Thanks, Bill
Julia kristina is the smartest human being i ever listened to.
I adopt her as my personal guro.
I cherish all her videos.
What a pleasant surprise, to meet a woman that is smarter than me.
She is pretty as well. Like her choice of colours.
OK, one goal that I achieved in my life has truly brought me deep happiness-as in, I am literally, quantitatively happier now than before. And that is having a child. But of course it hasn't solved all my problems. One thing I have learned is that it's possible to be deeply happy even when you're struggling or unsatisfied or even miserable in some areas of your life. Thanks for your videos. I love them.
I like your passion and empathy (not sounding mundane or monotoned as you know how important this information can be) and the ability to put things in a clear form (staying on track with your thoughts while wording is right on point).
Just found your channel. You are an awesome counselor! I’ve always looked to the outside to be happy.. not anymore! Thank you so much.
Adam! So great to have you here and really grateful this connected.
😎
Oh my goodness! I just discovered your videos. I am suffering from severe depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD, ADD and OCD, which landed me in the hospital a few weeks ago. I have a story...but I just watched your 2 part video on your loved ones going through depression. It was spot on! I am looking forward to watching all these other videos you've posted! Thank you so much!! I need all I can get to help me out of this. I have struggled with depression on and off for years but this seems to feel like the closest to the worst bout. I'm 52 and feel like I'm 80! One thing I haven't heard you mention is brain fog. I have it so bad I can't keep a job.
Carla, really great to have you here and connect with you. I'll will put the topic of brain fog on the list and do a vid on it as soon as I can. Thanks for the suggestion!
You hold fast youngster I can't keep a job either because of my post traumatic and other issues you will find something that suits you that you can stay with just never give up life is not easy for any of us and some have it much much worse stay strong🌻
This reminded me of one of the best books I've ever read: 'Shift Your Thinking' by Dean DeSoto. I honestly recommend this for everyone. It'll definitely shift your thinking regarding any and every subject matter in life. Very helpful when we tend to get complacent 👌
by Dean Del Sesto
Ugggh I wish you were my therapist I can go see and talk to right about now!
You are right on point . You make me feel less crazy , you speak my LANGUAGE.
Hey Julia. I’m loving your videos. I’m struggling a little but your videos are reminding me of the many tools available. Thank you
Julia, thank you so so much for making all these videos available. You are helping a lot of struggling souls including myself!
I'm loving all your videos, thank you! You speak to me.
I’m the queen of “when” and “then”...🙋🏻♀️ binge watching your videos. Thank you so much for sharing all of your knowledge and continuing to share ❤️
You are changing my LIFE!
Thanks Julia. You are doing a great public service. I've learned something from each of your videos that I have watched. Good job.
So much truth in this video, thanks, Julia!
Bridget! Thank you so much for taking the time to say so - I'm really grateful it connected with you.
You re Amaizing Julia.
Thanks for helping people in need, who need it.
God bless !!
BIG SHIFT. I needed this video, thank you for sharing.
You are such an amazing person Julia. Thank you for being you.
You know what Brad? We all have amazingness in us, so I can say without knowing you that YOU are an amazing person too.
Thank you for your words and your work, they’re incredibly helpful. 🙏🙏🙏
Amazing info!! Thank you so much! Love your videos💕
Thank you for using this platform and providing us your insights and knowledge. Connecting the dots in life is always challenging so people like you help in the process of connecting the dots. Also thank you for taking the journey in becoming the person you are. If you hadn't TH-cam/the viewers would not have you.
I never realized until a few months ago, how much our thoughts reflect how we feel and affect our mental health.
All of them except the jealousy one. Especially, "when this happens...I will be happy." Also, the victim mentality, I've learned that I am responsible for my own actions and choices and I was not powerless. I know I use to put all the blame on those who hurt me.
I've never had a problem with feeling envious of others, instead, I felt more like a victim. My son has achieved some great things, many of the things he has achieved, were my dreams. I always felt so proud of him and still do, each time he achieves something. Currently, a Masters Degree doing his passion. I always wondered how he did it when he was the middle child and came from a similar background. Instead of feeling envious, it just made me confirm in my mind that it was too late to fulfill my dreams, and that I was a victim of circumstances. I felt like my abusers ruined my life.
Now, my understanding is much much different. I understand that I made different choices and that it is never too late to be happy. Now that my thinking is readjusted, I can be a better support system to him while I'm fulfilling my current goals because I'm choosing too.
Thank you Julia, I've found the first truth as life changing for me cause I feel lost right now as I want to change my job and follow my dreams and there are lots of hesitation down this road but the fact that I am responsible to myself, my joy and well being keeps me motivated in the face of challenges ahead of me.🙂
Hello Julia...I am listening your videos for 3 months .....its changing my mind set to more happier .....
Another excellent message and reminder! Your work is so inspiring. Big shift 😊 Thanks, Julia!
Jenny, thank you so much or your really kind and generous words - I'm so grateful this message connected with you!
BIG SHIFT! No EASY button! Love that! Thank you
SO so glad it connected Nick! I should start wearing a t-shirt with an easy button on it and a big a slash through. What do you think? lol
I wish your videos would go viral ... such truth. Love that while we can’t control the outcomes, we always have choices.
Seriously David, this just made my day - thanks for being so generous with your support.
BIG SHIFT:
“When we go on the OFFENSIVE people get DEFENSIVE, walls go UP and communication goes DOWN.”
Oh, how I need to remember this!!!
Yes, I agree, you will be making a considerable improvement in peoples point of view
Oh sheet, you’re right... big shift.... already knew it but needed reminding... gotta get a ‘grip’ again....
I can’t thank you enough for helping me with my journey 💗
Yep, been there done that! "when I reach this or that... then I'll be happy", totally have been doing that, thanks for the video, it really helps me to understand where this way of thinking actually comes from and why it doesn't really work :-)
Big shift I'm always headed to a place where things will be better but I am there I usually wake up in the middle of the night 3 3:30 I reach for the phone and listen to you I get something out of each and every video I listen to them again and again sometimes for reinforcement
All I can do some days it's the best I can I would like to thank you again for what you do you may not realize the impact positive on people's lives I could not thank you enough🕉
You are so kind sharing your expertise with us for free. Ive learnt a lot from you. So many things. I live in wales UK, we don't have the help you get overseas. You take it seriously. My doctor told me he doesn't do mental health. He said I was just being ratty with him. I was just trying to explain my situation. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. You are wonderful.
When then ! Defo me. Thanks for making this.
Lol......when *blank* happens then I will be happy. Do that all the time.
Live the moment! ❤💗
Yes! High five to that.
Love! ESPECIALLY #5. I wish I knew how to explain that one to my family lol. A personal mindset I had to change was learning how to actually take peoples words at face value instead of trying to “figure out what they mean”.
thanks again kristina it find your video so amazing and giving me like this push i needed to restart fresh!!
there is no when but there is now!!
BIG SHIFT....... very useful and informative. Food for thought. Thank you, Julia.
For me the last one was a the big shift
Thank you for sharing.
This really hit home for me! Thanks
Look so forward to your videos. Yes, I could definitely relate to some of those at one time or another. Big Shift 💕
Siera, that really means a lot to me! Thanks for saying that.
Wonderful work, Julia!
thank u julia for all your videos ive watched so far and havent left comments
Thank you so much! You are amazing...
Big shift 🙂Thank you Julia ❤
Yes i agree we need to accomplish and do our goals and improve each minute
yep so much truth. thanks for this video. ive got work to do.
The good news is that we're ALL works in progress, and ALL perfectly imperfect.
GREAT information, thank you!!
The last one was a big shift for me. I will be working on this!
This was VERY good! I highly recommend this to ALL (especially women). Thumbs way up!
I have changed my mindset and I didn't even realize it... I agree with you
that's so great Aanie!
You are very good! Thanks for the great advice!
That it is my problem. It makes sense, but it is an attitude that I will have to work on for a while to get comfortable with it.
Been there, done that. It's always when I do this..
Awesome video Julia, nice to see someone who can express what their education has taught them in such a practical way, will be exploring more of your content.
I hope many people get to access this particular video.
A little while ago I went through one of these big shifts, Julia doesn't describe the feelings or consequences of a changed mindset, it changes everything when you have an awakening style shift in mindset. For me it felt like relief and I was truly happy up until that 'what's next?' moment: At that point the work on living your new freer lifestyle begins.
I won't comment of whether it is a healthier shift (life will determine that), but it did entail taking responsibility for my choices/ options, giving up chasing a destination (giving up romantic there or when statements), opening up to more life options by choosing freedom, and realizing that my need was something that I couldn't ask for in others if they can't offer that.
There is no point in focusing on the shoulds of life, especially when you shouldn't even chase it because it won't make you happy. No one is more surprised than me as a long term romantic who adored strong healthy women that i chose the MGTOW lifestyle and stopped my search for 'the one', but I did. I saw that what I was chasing I could never have and what was on offer in terms of love was less than what the friendships offered. Once the mindset changed the choices came pretty easily. The shaming for those choices was manageable and in the end I didn't lose any friendships or family over it.
Changing your mindset is never perfection but health is always a work in progress. For instance In making my choices/ changing my mindset, I had to sacrifice having children/ fatherhood, my sex life vanished with the romance, I had to change almost everything about my lifestyle and i wasted a lot of time missing out on things I love due to chasing the wrong things. Change in the right way is always worth the sacrifice, hope my story can inspire others to take off the goggles and make changes for the better in their lives.
BIG SHIFT. Not a finite amount of joy and success. I did not think I got jealous of other people but some things you said there triggered some stuff in me. Thank you. This is a very helpful vlog.
Stephen - Thanks for taking the time to share, and I'm really grateful to hear you had a big shift!
Thank you for helpful advice.
Thank you thank you thank you for your videos and al of your help.
I usually don’t like lady therapist but u have such high energy 😂❤️
I’m from Indonesia. I always love your video and the way you explain it. Thank you so much.
Spot on key points!
GREAT JOB JULIA.......VERY INSPIRING......THANKS.....SO MUCH...YOU ARE THE VERY BEST
Thank you for these free videos thank thank you thank you
BIG SHIFT! Excellent video.
BIG SHIFT. I have told my counselor when deeply depressed I don't have a choice. But I do choose whether to stay on the couch or face the day however difficult at the present moment. Small efforts win the moment, then the day. Thank you.
Thank you I'm learning how to teach a healthy mindset your video was very inspirational again thank u
I love Julia's videos. I see her as the 'Jordan Peterson' for women. Fantastic!
Some BIG aha moments here - thank you!!
Great
Content
Thank
You
Julia
U r resp for ur life and choices.
U always have some ctrl
There is no ' there'. Grateful now
Abun in this world
U r part of the prob when there's a prob
awesome... attachment!
All of them are great, it’s like we already knew all of this we just to find a good balanced cognitive process , I want to practice and master the there’s no when I get there” and it’s my choice and my problem not to just fill the void but love myself here and now together love is better when shared and respected xoxo ty
I am new here and I am connecting, great videos it help me today I was so frustrated and looking for way out came across your videos and you have energy that pull me and got my attention...thank you ...
your explanations are very helpful
Brilliant podcast the only one I watch of course
BIG SHIFT. Your a great person. I hope you are happy.
WOW ME BIG SHIFT U ARE SO ON POINT THANK U 👍👏😃
What a great video!
All beauty comes from within the inside and radiates to the outside.
Excellent!
BIG SHIFT. Really enjoy your videos - thanks for taking the time to share your experience knowledge and point of view on mental health. The last one, owning your problems - this is the tricky one. I tend to lean on the codependent side of things, allowing myself to take on the problems of others and not pay attention to how I feel about it until I hit a point where I feel overwhelmed because I haven't dealt with the issues that are mine to deal with. That is my problem!
I think my situation might be an exception.
I’ve been living in a situation where I’ve been dependent on my partner for a couple of years because of my physical and mental health. We’ve been living in a big city and I kept saying if I could go back home I would be happier because I wouldn’t be as dependent. I’ve been “home” for roughly two months and I am happier in my familiar surroundings and with my support system and having some independence again. Being able to do things without assistance has been amazing for me.
I am responsible for my life and my choices.
When you covered the 'butting in the lineup' issue it made me think. I used to take that kind of thing personally, which really is ridiculous. I would feel as if that person who is butting in front of me is seeing me as a push over, or worse, not seeing me at all. How's that for being full of yourself? lol
Thank you.
Big Shift. I am responsible. Thanks. You're great, from a male Psych Nurse.
Thanks Julia
great stuff...now where did i put that button again? hmmm...right...im already there...here....boy with what i see, i fell asleep again, and happiness stepped out for a bit....smiling, thanks....have a great day.
I'm in the process of making a BIG SHIFT mindset.
well Julia, i want to share my daily routine too find out what i am doing is good....
i get up early in the morning and eat my joghurt with musli, then before i go to work i eat some wholewheat bread so i don;t get hungry at work to soon, then i am getting on my bike (never take the car) and get to work, i laugh and smile whole day and walk away from toxic people as much as i can, (just learning to speak up) i don try to worry to much at work, and when i am finished a take my bike home, eat my vegies petatos and little bit meat, but then after shower, i am in need of some relaxation, so i watch some of your videos then some netflix, go to bed early and read in my book before shutting my eyes.
so you see, sometimes it is relaxing to watch tv, oh yeah on my free days i paint a lot, that is really good for relaxing
Great advise.
THANK YOU SWEET LADY