It would be pretty bad but then you add the fact that your dad has millions in the bank and lives in a mansion with a Rolls Royce he uses to do drive-by shootings and has a tendency of targeting family members to kill violently just for the fun of it... that would be a fecked up nightmare to live in...
Kevin: *Gets an assasin named "The Winter Soldier" Also Kevin: This guy's gotta be like 12 The Winter Soldier, Credited with 2 dozen assasinations within the last 20 years: Pardon?
@@mocha4745 "I just happened to be carrying a very sharp knife and I had some jam on my hand after eating a peanut and jam sandwich the moment before so it slipped and stabbed ya┐(￣ヮ￣)┌!" Omg, imagine if someone died and on their tombstone there's just a shrugging emoji!
@@LisaD478 Probably a level I should be concerned about, but also one that wishes people a happy birthday hoping to bring positivity in some weird way. Happy birthday. :)
Just watching the first 2 seconds and seeing Jim Pickens telling me to “Collect them all” makes me regret only buying the CallMeKevin one and not both of them.
Okay imagine this, online bitlife! You accidentally married your friend and just get notefications like "Lisa spent 100 000 000 dollars on gambling" "Lisa robbed a bank disguised as Shrek" That would be the best game ever
I have a personality disorder that causes emotional issues and new videos from you Kevin never fail to distract me from what's causing me issues in my life. Cheers from a 21% Irish Australian
I just have to say, it's absolutely hilarious how easy it is to soft reset getting arrested in Bitlife. Makes being a criminal character so much more worthwhile tbqh.
For robbing trains in Bitlife, you have better chances of robbing the train at the exact listed time irl. Say it’s 4:20 irl, then you rob the 4:20 train in game.
This is a true story , my mom when she was around my age, late 20s, “robbed” a train. She lived next to the tracks and the train derailed spilling its contents. It was carrying diapers, and my mom among a bunch of other folks started to take it. Mom did caz she had friends who were having babies. Grandma/her mom found out later that day and demanded she return it as she didn’t want mom to be arrested as a nursing student. Mom did return it. Apparently the following day the others were in the newspaper for robbing it and being arrested.
In a world, where no one can leave their homes... One man, on a mission, to never have to leave his home, turns loose on the virtual world to wreak havoc and commit crime. Call me Kevin stars as thug life. Because not all heroes wear capes. And if they do...they are probably undercover cops named winter soldier...
News reporter: "How did you get a net worth of 2 million?"
Kevin: "The secret ingredient is crime."
You just start with a net worth of 12 million
Fucking love super hans
I once had about 1.3 billion but an update deleted that savev
I laughed for about an hour after he said that
And robbing a train at exactly 4:20
"local man commits EVERY crime imaginable, sentenced to death 4 times, gets off the hook, robs trains, dies of natural causes"
Emerald_Lord sounds like a florida man
@@kapil3627 What I was about to say
At age 69
All he’s missing is terrorisim
tell me you live in florida without telling me you live in florida
11:37 imagine being 8 and living on the side of the road because your dad abandoned you and he just sends you a whoopee cushion
It would be pretty bad but then you add the fact that your dad has millions in the bank and lives in a mansion with a Rolls Royce he uses to do drive-by shootings and has a tendency of targeting family members to kill violently just for the fun of it... that would be a fecked up nightmare to live in...
@@vetreas366 there needs to be a movie or TV show based off this
your profile picture, your username AND your taste in youtubers? swag. B)
Am I a terrible person for laughing at this?
Honestly I think I'd be grateful he sent me a whoopee cushion and not a hit man given his track record
He made his fortune at 4:20 and died at 69.
His life was truly nice.
He already had that money before 4:20
@@crad5476 they mean when kevin robbed the train at 4:20
@@Crooked_Man_Havik Ah, I remember now.
Perfect times
LMAO
I'm really digging the Sims 1 music in the background, it goes well with the murder
this killed me 😂
julia :3 just like the people in the video
i read this in kevin’s voice this honestly sounds like something he’d say
It also goes well with Kevin kicking babies.
Waddah A. We even BB h
Kevin:“BitLife but I become a criminal mastermind” FBI: Not this guy again
I feel the FBI is just very confused with what Kevin is doing on his computer
@@AxxLAfriku I lie because my girlfriends are my sisters
At this point they don't take him seriously anymore. He could probably murder someone and get away with it~
@@LisaD478 fbi is that you telling us something
He's good with us.
Imagine working at a bank seeing Shrek equipped with astun gun sneaking around
This post was made by the meme gang. Also, heyo Finn O
Hey Finn O
Also with a fortnite skin
"Hey there friends I'm Kevin and today were playing Payday 2 IRL?!" *Stuns a guard*
Payday 2 in a nutshell
Thug Life is the only person who can say "I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me"
Wait did his mom choose the Thug Life?
I didn't choose the thug life, my mom picked it out for me
@@ailia8487 lmao
Lol.
"i didnt choose the thug life, my mommy chose it for me."
People fight weird in this game. You're running around poking larynxs and stretching noses while other people snap your cheeks and squeeze your head.
PsyintZ I’m pretty sure the verbs and body parts are randomly generated, which I quite enjoy lol
I was once able to lick someone’s esophagus or something like that
PsyintZ B A N G T H E B U T T O C K S
i’ve had someone stab my skull and i was still alive. and i slap someone’s lip and they die
@@lovelykitty42 irl or in game?
I once got put into juvie at age 7 from licking someone's tooth in bitlife. Love that.
“They had us in the first half not gonna lie”
@@kanyesrighttesticle “they had us in the first grade not gonna lie”
i got sent to prison for licking someone's nose
@@kanyesrighttesticle I mean this is a CMK comment section under a bitlife video so I honestly didn't think it was about real life
I think you'll get sent to a mental institute instead of a prison.
Kevin: "Dead friends make the best friends"
Also Kevin: *Starts every video with "Hello Friends"*
um
Crawling in my skiin
Soon the time will come
You’re a ghost Harry
I’m already dead just inside
Kevin killed me but im still alive because im immortal
The careers advice people at my school never even *mentioned* the possibility of train robbery...
I feel cheated.
That's because its a secret life hack they don't want you to know about.
Cheated, but not robbed 😂
12:00 "you're pregnant again! How many babies can you have?" The one time I played bit life my character birthed 18 children and lived to be over 100.
wow, the most I had was 14 and I think she's the same one who died a cocaine addicted prisoner :P at like 42
I had like 10 kids before I turned 29
You are BitLife's God, creating life and living over the limit.
Mine too
I had 23
"ugh, NO! He keeps *calling the police* on me when *I try to kill him.* He's *such* a bad brother!"
Kevin: *Attempts to steal a car, gets caught, gets beaten, then sues the guy before losing*
Also Kevin: *Surprise pikachu face*
“I already have my life planned out mom” -Kevin 2020
this is starting to become as long as the sims series. im here for it
I'd say I'm also here for it, but that's not my name.
@@IamaPERSON My name fits your comment so well lmao
@@SheriffHotSauce haha, what a coincidence!
hi i love your username and profile pic!
@@amethystlovesGR awww thanks
Ah, the two genders: Thug and Shrek
Blank Jim Pickens of course being god
you have 666 likes i’m not gonna ruin that
@@somerandomassguyontheinter2869 i appreciate that
Which one is grognak Chesterfield attorney at law Esquire M.D?
Kevin has a suprising amount of shreks watching him
Kevin in Belgrade: "Trains here don't run on time"
Correct. I have never had anything on time here. Welcome to Serbia.
"Now that I look and feel good, abandon my son."
Kevin: Attempts to rob every 4:20 train
Also Kevin: dies age 69
Nice.
Shit you right, NICE
Testing me
It's the natural order
I'm too dumb to get it can someone explain?
Kaka Hass unfunny sex and weed joke
Kevin: “I’ve never seen a train in real life”
Thomas the train: “ Thomas knew it was time to say wassup”
How does Jackseptieye manage to make and whole life last like 5 episodes and Kevin makes it last like 15 minutes
5 episodes for 1 oife dear god he has to do so much of the small Things like Go to the Gym 100 every year to strech it that far
Jack gets too sidetracked with it that's why
Hey, jacksfilms and rtgame have many differences
kevin finna speedrun bitlife
You don't even have to steal as an exorcist, just be like "Oh no this necklace is causing the haunting I'll remove it for you"
"...and by the way, turns out ghosts like to hide in wallets..."
@NotYourGreatestPlan I lost it at "goldschlong the 57th"😂😂😂
no
@NotYourGreatestPlan holy mother of god
“Just cause I keep abandoning and killing the other children doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have more!” -Ouranos to Gaia at some point prolly
legend
YASS
"We gotta rob a train Dutch"
-Yeehaw Kevin
* throws cowboy hat *
Rahul I have a pLaN Arthur
We just need SOmE MoNey
TaHiTi
MiCaH hAs a PLaN
Kevin, unprompted, confessing to candy theft at age 12 is peak good Catholic boy behavior
Leaves school
*"I HAVE A PLAN"*
-Attempts to rob a train
*DUTCH 100*
He just needs a bit more money. One more job
*P L A N*
I have a plan!
I have a plan, Arthur, I just need two million in taxpayer dollar.
@@Eejit *DUTCH WHY DO YOU NEED 2 TRILLION DOLLARS IN TAX PAYERS MONEY?*
Kevin: *Gets an assasin named "The Winter Soldier"
Also Kevin: This guy's gotta be like 12
The Winter Soldier, Credited with 2 dozen assasinations within the last 20 years: Pardon?
I was waiting for the comment that would mention this!
Poor Bucky 🤣
I just love the, “Shrek wants blood” line.
Thug Life: dies at the age of 69
Everyone: Nice
I was waiting for this comment.
Nice
He also stole the train at 4:20 pm
It's just too perfect
nice
spoiler dude
Kevin: Hello friends!
Also Kevin: Dead friends are the best friends!
Liam Read we’re secretly all dead inside
69th like-nice
Kevin: [drops out of school]
Kevin a minute later: How can I get smarter?
Hmmm...
You’re my favorite TH-camr, awesome video as always, Kevin! :D
Bitlife updated so that if you alter the built in clock to rob a train, the train will hit you instead
Day bore ragnarok of asking Kevin to make one extremely serious hour-long letsplay without any funny editing for April Fools
Cranberry Vodka & he can’t kill anyone
I like that, that's original!
I'd watch it, my life is shit anyways
@@niamhreilly2815 Okay now you've crossed a line there. That's impossible. Too much to ask for.
Sims 4 Zero Kills HARDCORE MODE (boy, you know something is wrong when this title is entirely possible)
Hey there friends my name is Bitlife and we’re going to being playing some more Kevin
Don't play with Kevin that's kinky
@@Stella.22g don't tell me what to do
Kevin: *breaks games on a daily basis*
Bitlife & Superliminal: *hold ma frames*
That's a game I'd love to play
Hey there Kevin my name is bitlife and we're going to be playing some friends
Kevin: " i hope you enjoying bitlife because i certainly am"
NPC's in bitlife: *Kevin i wish we could say the same*
This the best shit I've ever seen. How is he so natural in crime is beyond me.
Kevin: "he's trying to kill me with a spoon"
me: *has flashbacks to the very slow murderer with the extremely inefficient weapon*
10:12
I had diabolical thoughts.
I had diabolical thoughts.
I had diabolical thoughts.
I had diabolical thoughts.
Don't we all?
Bitlife should put a new way of dying
"You died by CallmeKevin for no reason at all"
Yes
ur epitaph in Jim Pickens’ graveyard be like
“i don’t even know why i killed you”
Omg yes
Yes
@@mocha4745 "I just happened to be carrying a very sharp knife and I had some jam on my hand after eating a peanut and jam sandwich the moment before so it slipped and stabbed ya┐(￣ヮ￣)┌!"
Omg, imagine if someone died and on their tombstone there's just a shrugging emoji!
Not gonna lie a mummy driving Rolls Royce Phantom, while holding a bow and arrow, is probably the greatest escape of all time.
2:26 that “wow” cured MY depression
3:00 Kevin-"how do I get smart" also Kevin-"why won't it let me drop out in middle school"
My names Nolan and the “I don’t wanna be Nolan” part was funny
Nolan Harrison same my name is also Nolan
RabidDucky ayy
Ayyy Nolan gang where you at?
not here.
Everyone should be happy to be themselves😃
Day 336 of wishing Kevin a happy birthday everyday.
Happy birthday, Kevin.
Dedication 336. Pun intended
What level of insanity is this here?
@@LisaD478 Probably a level I should be concerned about, but also one that wishes people a happy birthday hoping to bring positivity in some weird way. Happy birthday. :)
Nearing a year jeez
So when this reaches 365 days of wishing Kevin a happy birthday everyday, do we wish the comment a happy birthday?
Kevin when he plays bitlife: CRAZY MAN! KILLER
Us: kevin isn’t that just you irl?
The window, gets the view. The aisle gets extra leg room and the middle gets both arm rests. Wise words spoken that will be remembered forever.
A fan from UKRAINE here! This is so funny, I am happy that you had "fun" in our country :D
Too soon
"why did you commit more crimes"
" The casino made me do it"
Alternate title: "Call Me Kevin Plays Bitlife. Exactly what you Expect will Happen."
“First I was too young, then I didn’t have enough money, then I’m old”
I felt that...
Literally me on TH-cam watching the same video and getting bored
Also me: watching Kevin repeatedly and dying of laughter
This is probably the 12th time I've watched this one. Just this one
1:21 I Couldn’t stop laughing at this part.
Kevin needs a TIMETABLE
Thug life: *dies at age 69*
Me: *nice*
Same
RIP Kevin
Died at age 69
Cause: Death by Snu Snu
Just watching the first 2 seconds and seeing Jim Pickens telling me to “Collect them all” makes me regret only buying the CallMeKevin one and not both of them.
I still waiting for "Desperate Housewives But Its In 2020" video
Yes
“YES! Shrek gets away with $42,000!”
Kevin : Im gonna kill my brother.
Brother : Calls the Cops.
Kevin : His such a bad brother.
Says the Killer.
"The problem with being very stupid is that your not smart enough to figure out how to become smart" - Abracadabra Lincoln
I’m not gonna lie, I like basically all of Kevin’s videos, but this one made me laugh more than I have in a long ass time. Keep it up Thug.
For real though
Kevin, you should tell Jim to post a video of himself playing BitLife. We'd love to see that.
I am a PERSON, and I second this!
Does anyone else have a sudden urge to rob a train? No, just me.
Okay imagine this, online bitlife! You accidentally married your friend and just get notefications like "Lisa spent 100 000 000 dollars on gambling" "Lisa robbed a bank disguised as Shrek" That would be the best game ever
there may come a day when i don’t enjoy kevin’s red dead 2 references
but today is not that day
d u t c h
Daniel Salley I had a goddamn plan!
That day will never come
I have a personality disorder that causes emotional issues and new videos from you Kevin never fail to distract me from what's causing me issues in my life.
Cheers from a 21% Irish Australian
"Just to clarify I've never done crime in this life"
Videogames included?
“What about thug I don’t wanna be Nolan I wanna be thug” I’m dying 😂😂
1:04 DUTCH WE GOTTA HIT THE TRAIN DUTCH
WE NEED NORE MONEY ARTHUR
I played RDR2 And finally get this reference.
That thug life with Kevin “ robs a train right away. Train doesn’t come”🤣
Joshua let’s play 😂😂😂
Kevin: JUST ONE MORE TRAIN, ORTHUR
RT: My name’s David-
Kevin: HAVE SOME GOD-DAMNED FAITH
I HAVE A PLAN
“I’m really unhappy and really unhealthy.” yeah me too
I just have to say, it's absolutely hilarious how easy it is to soft reset getting arrested in Bitlife.
Makes being a criminal character so much more worthwhile tbqh.
16:21
So much for laying low after escaping prison.
Police: We got him again, now to give him a whole day to escape.
16:48, I thought it said Terrible married Danilo Tragic. Was very disappointed when i reread it. Terrible Tragic would've been a great name.
Kevin : *talks about how he always dies of tuberculosis*
Kevin two minutes later : *makes rdr2 reference*
Hmmm I wonder how this is going to end
I always get super excited when I see my name in a videogame. It’s not rare enough to never be seen, but rare enough to be surprised to see it
JUST ONE GOD DANM TRAIN ARTHUR!!
"I need to just not get arrested"
Words to live by
2:38 Kevin is my favorite. So evil. 😂😂❤️🤣
Kevin, you always manage to make my day better and I look forward to your videos every day!! You’re amazing!!! ❤️
"Give it away, give it away, give it away, now.
👟👶🏻"
-Saint Kevin
For robbing trains in Bitlife, you have better chances of robbing the train at the exact listed time irl. Say it’s 4:20 irl, then you rob the 4:20 train in game.
Kevin is becoming all of the sims characters in sims. He dressed up as Shrek and did something with a sickle aka Grimm
"It's always a god damn train..."
I’d be interested to see if Kevin could do just one round of bitlife without committing a single crime.
The day and month THUG LIFE was born, I was born. What a coincidence!
He becomes interested in killing someone so he immediately tries to adopt a child XD
Yes!! Kevin finaly came to Serbia.
The cult of the dear Leader can finaly spread through our contry.
4:26 Kevin literally turned into Dutch what the hell
10:49
I can't stop laughing
This is a true story , my mom when she was around my age, late 20s, “robbed” a train. She lived next to the tracks and the train derailed spilling its contents. It was carrying diapers, and my mom among a bunch of other folks started to take it. Mom did caz she had friends who were having babies. Grandma/her mom found out later that day and demanded she return it as she didn’t want mom to be arrested as a nursing student. Mom did return it. Apparently the following day the others were in the newspaper for robbing it and being arrested.
As a very weird person i LOVED the redemption two reference!!!
17:26 best sentence of the video
I love that everytime hes backed into a corner he immigrates
In a world, where no one can leave their homes...
One man, on a mission, to never have to leave his home, turns loose on the virtual world to wreak havoc and commit crime.
Call me Kevin stars as thug life.
Because not all heroes wear capes. And if they do...they are probably undercover cops named winter soldier...
i miss this UI style. it was so much more unique than the current one
17:38 "Omg he just keeps calling the police when I try to kill him! He's such a bad brother!"
BRUHHH