What stays on my mind after listening to the chat. 1. Cultivate a rich social life as opposed to a full online life, meaningful relationships are fundamentally built on social not digital interactions. 2. Chemistry is necessary but not sufficient to maintain a relationship. Compatibility matters. 3. Relationships are easy, and it's easy when the parties are compatible. If it's hard work, even if much time and effort have been invested, letting go may be the right thing to do.
So so true!!! Especially the chemistry part, to many people and all guys I met say they want to feel the chemistry they had with a past person 🙄 All you say about the apps is so so real: paradox of choice, FOMO, keep swiping for the nice best option, people keeping their options open out of fear of being hurt...
The problem is “2 or 3 years to figure it out”. That preferences the male if you’re considering mature people who want a family. These days, most people don’t pair off until later, so for women to be on an equal playing field the relationship progression has to be faster.
So I'm 33. My hair is coming out and I'm not really that fit. I guess you could say I have a hot dad bod. although I'm not a dad. I just came on because I was listening to your podcast in the background and was self-reflecting on everything you were saying. I was especially interested in what you said about changing the narrative that is playing in my mind. What I have been having trouble with is that no one responds to anything I do on tinder/POF. Like everything is dead. It doesn't seem right. I'm not THAT repulsive but I was beginning to believe that narrative because no one would match me ever. Then I got a great idea. Previously, I was on Reddit and someone had posted that women find guys in sweat pants sexy. So I decided to take a picture in my mirror of me in my sweat pants. I threw the picture up on POF and Tinder, then automatically started swiping every last woman right to check and see who would match me. IMMEDIATELY I got 4-5 matches! I realized that my entire profile didn't have one shot of my body. All headshots! That is what the problem was. I went on POF and did my usual strategy. Step 1: Check the picture to find a cute chick in the recently online category Step 2: Read the profile to craft an interesting first message. Step 3: Favorite the girl Step 4: Wait a min Step 5: Send the message The message read "Hey I was reading your profile and saw that you like concerts, Did you go to the ______ Music festival this weekend (It was actually a real festival and I went to it) I got this last idea from what you said about saying hi isn't the best idea! SHE RESPONDED! It was late. We had a brief interaction. But the strong single she gave before she logged off was this "Hey, I'm tired so I'm going to bed. Could you hit me up after 5 tomorrow?" That is a super good signal. I'm probably going to try and have a physical conversation with her over the phone and invite her to a concert that is going on next weekend! Thanks, guys for helping me out with this online dating thing. I think I got shit figured out! I just had to change the narrative and keep adjusting until something clicks. +1
@@dariapassarelli1121 Actually I have been having success across all the dating sites including Tinder bumble and POF. So Really I just had to change the narrative that was going on in my head! UPDATE: I actually met a girl who regularly comes to my house for fun sexy times! Not sure where it is going to go but I can thank this podcast for helping me get there!
People have been finding spouses, and lovers, in the workplace for some time--really since women began working alongside men in corporate settings. Much of our network is tied to where we work.
Is three months too long to get to know each other through messaging? If he wants to take it slow and get to know each other before meeting, and your happy taking it slow! He is good at communicating and he is suggesting ideas of what to do for a 1st date. A guy I have been chatting to has not asked for anything e.g money ect. we plan to meet in the next couple of weeks. The reason we have not met is due to COVID, and being in lockdown. There is definitely attraction, and we have a lot in common. He has messaged regularly, and we both have gotten to each other quite well.
Oh, Evan...I wish you could coach men, too. So many of us are addicted to chemistry over other things. They expect to feel it immediately but as you say, it's a drug and people get addicted...so they stop using their brains! Compatibility is more important.
"Guys don't want to genuinely understand women..." The end. That is why I am happily single. No more heavy lifting here. I'd rather work on my development and have friendships. Gross.
Amen. The dating apps suck because it lacks enough info to make a wise choice. You have no way of telling who your best option is. It's so depersonalized and SHALLOW.
“Every couple that has ever been together, has been in love” -so false; look up Asia/India/any country south of the equator. This man is painfully narrow in his view.
What stays on my mind after listening to the chat. 1. Cultivate a rich social life as opposed to a full online life, meaningful relationships are fundamentally built on social not digital interactions. 2. Chemistry is necessary but not sufficient to maintain a relationship. Compatibility matters. 3. Relationships are easy, and it's easy when the parties are compatible. If it's hard work, even if much time and effort have been invested, letting go may be the right thing to do.
Wonderful points, thanks for watching and commenting
Thank you!!
This was a great interview. So much so I listened to if twice. Never heard of this guy before but learnt tons! Thanks
Glad you enjoyed it!
So happy I found you ~ awesome interview... very insightful. Thank you!
niiiiiiiice. An eye opening and thoughtful conversation. Thank you!
Bmm
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J&boo kBBC; ;b;;b
Massive thanks Evan❤❤
So so true!!! Especially the chemistry part, to many people and all guys I met say they want to feel the chemistry they had with a past person 🙄
All you say about the apps is so so real: paradox of choice, FOMO, keep swiping for the nice best option, people keeping their options open out of fear of being hurt...
Literally answered all my questions I have!! Loveee this!
Fantastic!
Interesting discussion. Online dating is so complicated.
GOLDEN GOLDEN!
Evan is really smart. He sees where the holes are on both sides, and thus, the opportunities to jump through and set yourself apart.
The problem is “2 or 3 years to figure it out”. That preferences the male if you’re considering mature people who want a family. These days, most people don’t pair off until later, so for women to be on an equal playing field the relationship progression has to be faster.
So I'm 33. My hair is coming out and I'm not really that fit. I guess you could say I have a hot dad bod. although I'm not a dad. I just came on because I was listening to your podcast in the background and was self-reflecting on everything you were saying. I was especially interested in what you said about changing the narrative that is playing in my mind.
What I have been having trouble with is that no one responds to anything I do on tinder/POF. Like everything is dead. It doesn't seem right. I'm not THAT repulsive but I was beginning to believe that narrative because no one would match me ever. Then I got a great idea. Previously, I was on Reddit and someone had posted that women find guys in sweat pants sexy. So I decided to take a picture in my mirror of me in my sweat pants. I threw the picture up on POF and Tinder, then automatically started swiping every last woman right to check and see who would match me. IMMEDIATELY I got 4-5 matches! I realized that my entire profile didn't have one shot of my body. All headshots! That is what the problem was. I went on POF and did my usual strategy.
Step 1: Check the picture to find a cute chick in the recently online category
Step 2: Read the profile to craft an interesting first message.
Step 3: Favorite the girl
Step 4: Wait a min
Step 5: Send the message
The message read "Hey I was reading your profile and saw that you like concerts, Did you go to the ______ Music festival this weekend (It was actually a real festival and I went to it) I got this last idea from what you said about saying hi isn't the best idea!
SHE RESPONDED!
It was late. We had a brief interaction. But the strong single she gave before she logged off was this
"Hey, I'm tired so I'm going to bed. Could you hit me up after 5 tomorrow?" That is a super good signal. I'm probably going to try and have a physical conversation with her over the phone and invite her to a concert that is going on next weekend!
Thanks, guys for helping me out with this online dating thing. I think I got shit figured out! I just had to change the narrative and keep adjusting until something clicks. +1
Go away from TINDER!!
@@dariapassarelli1121 Actually I have been having success across all the dating sites including Tinder bumble and POF. So Really I just had to change the narrative that was going on in my head! UPDATE: I actually met a girl who regularly comes to my house for fun sexy times! Not sure where it is going to go but I can thank this podcast for helping me get there!
@@JStankXPlays it's ok if you was just searching for "fun sex time"....then keep on doing!
People have been finding spouses, and lovers, in the workplace for some time--really since women began working alongside men in corporate settings. Much of our network is tied to where we work.
8:58*
Is three months too long to get to know each other through messaging? If he wants to take it slow and get to know each other before meeting, and your happy taking it slow! He is good at communicating and he is suggesting ideas of what to do for a 1st date. A guy I have been chatting to has not asked for anything e.g money ect. we plan to meet in the next couple of weeks. The reason we have not met is due to COVID, and being in lockdown. There is definitely attraction, and we have a lot in common. He has messaged regularly, and we both have gotten to each other quite well.
I joined your group on Facebook. I wanted to know if you’re taking any more clients one on one?
Please message us on Insta Twitter of FB or info@theartofhcarm.com and we can send you details! :) Thank you for watching!
Falling for co-workers while locked down and home working is the rule, the apps sucking and doing groceries online: where to find a partner 😱
Oh, Evan...I wish you could coach men, too. So many of us are addicted to chemistry over other things. They expect to feel it immediately but as you say, it's a drug and people get addicted...so they stop using their brains! Compatibility is more important.
True! Chemistry changes everything.
"Guys don't want to genuinely understand women..." The end. That is why I am happily single. No more heavy lifting here. I'd rather work on my development and have friendships. Gross.
Amen. The dating apps suck because it lacks enough info to make a wise choice. You have no way of telling who your best option is. It's so depersonalized and SHALLOW.
👍🏻
Exclusive after 5 weeks 6 weeks, most people want to keep their options open for months if they don’t have the instant chemistry 🙄
What a great interview and thought provoking. Check out Straight Talk with The Phoenix Jewels. Appreciate it.
“Every couple that has ever been together, has been in love” -so false; look up Asia/India/any country south of the equator. This man is painfully narrow in his view.
since when do women need dating coaches? It's way easier for them.
1:11*