More bugthesda™ : th-cam.com/play/PLfndWzNAXra06znz1QPRdyApj0-W_2-lW.html *EDIT : The tower stone will let you unlock Pinewatch without lockpicking* : th-cam.com/video/xADrKp-OJqI/w-d-xo.html Thank you Evan Chase for bringing this to my attention.
@@adhominem2946 Seems a little frustrating, but i love when games don't just babysit you the whole way. I wish Morrowind graphics and combat didn't suck ass though.
Yeah. What could be a good compromise is if the game stored the closest previous autosave to you starting any major quest and informed you after you fail that a quest line has been closed off, so you could go back at any time to retry.
@@johnmorrell3187 Nah, sounds bullshit. Morrowind is great for exactly its realism. You don't get informed in real life that you've lost an opportunity anywhere.
The funniest thing about mercer is he used the skeleton key to unlock his max potential. The state you fight him in is canonically the absolute strongest he could ever become. He sold his soul to a god that hates him so he could be mildly inconvenient to fight.
Oh that's cool, so the Skeleton Key is THAT amazing of an artifact and not just a glorified lockpick?! I had no idea! Dang, imagine if the Dragonborn used that key to unlock his own full potential.
The first rule of Dark Brotherhood: "No stealing, only killing" Ymfah: "Fuck your Protected NPC bullshit, you're all dying to MIND SPIDERS, OIL SPIDERS, and FLAME SPIDERS!!!"
It works while working out that it shouldnt be working on working for work and working isnt working but work is work so it just keeps working, and its disturbed by the fact that it is working while it shouldnt be working but todd said it works so it thought it worked while working but not being able to work but still working i mean yes it does work but it also doesnt while it does and worker here is having an existential crisis while working while it shouldnt be working.
Another comment somewhere floating around TH-cam said something pretty funny regarding this. I can't remember the exact wording, so I'll paraphrase: Todd didn't mean " It just _works_ ", as in the mechanics make sense. He means " It _just_ works ", as in the mechanics are held together by scotch tape and a prayer.
Oblivion: You have to get a recommendation from each mage guild "office" in all of the major cities to prove your magic prowess and worthiness of the mages guild. Skyrim: Please cast this spell and we'll let you in. Oh you don't know the spell? Here i'll teach it for you. Just please join.
Come to think of it, if you can commit this many "crimes" without being registered at all, you definitely deserve to be the best Thief's Guild leader ever lol
That happened in my original joining of the thieves guild because I forgot either who I was supposed to give the ring to or who I was supposed to take it from, I dont remember which
To be fair, in Oblivion you can fail the first Thieves' guilfmd mission and still get in the guild, although you have to do another mission (that you can't fail) first
Ah the good old days when joining the thieves guild was something you had to actively seek out, and any lawful good paladin wouldn't just get fucking dragged into it the moment they enter a new city. I try so hard to like Skyrim but it really irritates me with things like that.
“My name is Lifts-Her-Tail, I am 33 years old and I live in the northeast section of solitude, where all the thieves are, I don’t steal, but I occasionally kill.”
9:43 Wow! that was amazing! Using your warhammer to save Gulum Ei from that arrow which was headed straight for him! I bet he was quite thankful afterwards.
Hello I'm the Thieves Guild's Master. I've committed countless crimes. What crimes you might ask? Well... I trespassed once. There was also that one time I picked a lock but it was to a bandit's hideout. Thievery? Oh no I don't do that.
Imagine whole Stormcloak army barging in Ratway, scouring the place, finding the filthy lizard and handing him 5 septim ticket for trespassing. Oh, wait, that's just IRS in action.
thats what's brilliant about this. now they can never take down the thieves guild now cause their leader is literally an upstanding citizen who has committed no crimes.
@@longleaf1217 assuming they don't have a Rico act in Skyrim (law that bans organized crime itself in the us it's what they used to take down all the mobster bosses well that and tax evasion)
I love how you show even the failed ideas. They're often hilarious, and spice up the video more than a typical straightforward list of instructions would. Such a great style for these videos.
That paralysis poison hit Mercer at the perfect time. He was mid spin attack and being further spun by a power attack from the greatsword, so the paralysis froze him in place and spun him around like a fuckin roulette
@@peenyyt4921 Stealing bad. Hailing Sithis good. Hail our Dread Father, the Void, Sithis! Hail our Unholy Matron, the Night Mother! Hail the Dark Brotherhood!
Funny thing about the water breathing, my first ever playthrough was as an argonian and I did the thieves guild quest line and water breathing was the only thing that saved me in that situation cause I had no idea where to go once the room filled. So Brynyolf and Karliah we're just drowning for like ten minutes while I tried to find a way out
I had to use a water breathing potion because I had no idea where the heck I should go. I keeped trying again and again to open the door where you came from. After like, two minutes of despair, I discovered that all I had to do was just escape by the roof
For real I just picked up uploading on TH-cam in efforts to make my little but still active community of Wiimmfi Super Smash Brothers Brawl bigger and i can say as a fact that editing videos is very hard and tiring....even if my edit aren't that great. I love my community
hrrrrgh,, brynjolf. i'm trying to sneak around, but i'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the master, asking me to "polish his spear"
that part had me in stitches. I have played this game so much but never knew that was a thing. I knew about glitching through barriers with a plate but flying with a bucket?
"My my, your hands aren't shaking at all. Am I to believe you have never used a lockpick before?" "My lord, never have I handled such a tool before, believe me! And these motions are already making my fingers tired, even as it straightens and stiffens in my grasp" "You already straightened it plenty, though. Isn't it time you slid it into the keyhole already?"
"Like I stole your guild, not technically, but other than that no.. I sttole nothing lul." Thieves guild members: "Haha very funny, if you don't get caught I guess you really can't be called a thief."
I mean, technically it still is. Even though the guy's dead it doesn't mean you can take his stuff, it belongs to his family/heir. If you found a dead man on the street irl you wouldn't be allowed to take his wallet, it would be considered stealing
@@khajiitkorner918 Actually, if no heir can be found, the belongings are automatically inherited by the state. So you will have to get rid of that as well. As soon as that is done you can legally take it though. I mean, there won't be any laws anyways at that point.
On my first run with the thieves I accidentally said to return the key, and then all I can do was taking an appreciative look to what an unmeasurable mistake I've made.
"Since we murder instead of stealing now, the name "Thieves Guild" is no longer appropriate. However, calling it the Asassins Guild might be grounds for a lawsuit from the Dark Brotherhood as that's what they already do, so we decided to keep the name anyway"
"Thieves Guild without Stealing" *Takes all of Alvor's money by selling his own stuff back to him without first buying it from him in under the first three minutes*
He doesn't steel. Just borrow without question. And give that to the owner or someone else. And they are so happy therr give money in return. No theft at all
Well, it must be easy. You just make them die in accident OR make them killed by anyone else. Skyrim is very tolerant about that, especially with illusion school.
@@lred1383 Yes. Actually trespassing is quite easy to commit. I've did it several times without knowing. my GPS is weird and gates were opened so I've just came in using one, came out using other. Week after doing it daily I've seen "private property, no trespassing" sign :) It had also info about being secured, but I won't give much attention to it...
@@Petaurista13 actually trespassing itself in the UK isnt a crime unless against the queen or is "aggravated" trespass such as when asked to leave by a person then not doing so. edit: im not a lawyer btw dont actually do this
The horror of that one random Summerset Shadow who expected an average swordsman just like himself right before a greatsword madlizard came crashing through the door.
*interview with the thieves guild* (interviewer) can you tell me about your boss? (thieves guild) our boss isnt even a thief, she has never committed a crime in her life
(thieves guild) Except that one time she trespassed and picked a lock. Other than that don't know how she's our boss. (interviewer) What a dangerous woman.
Back when I was a kid, I thought it might be possible to "fly" by just climbing onto something in the air VERY fast over and over again. The bucket trick makes my dream come true.
23:14 You missed this one. I Present you the Tower Stone (the most underated of the standing Stones) Its Power lets you open any Non Master Locks once a day. So this one could be avoided
@@kaws6231 even the snake one xD Dude, in games I always get a way to use even the most useless itens/spells/mechanics Just for the sake of Discovery xD
@@dogfellow3848 me too. Like... DAMM! The Guy know so many tricks that I was not aware of. Like teleporting using saves, even this shopkeeper bug that lets you sell then their own itens! But the Tower Stone is part of the game. Everyone that starts playing Skyrim, sometime search "all standing Stones locations" and learn about then... Thats is why we get so upset when we see something like this xD
Reminds me of an American Dad episode when the basement is getting flooded and Roger and Stan are in it and Stan goes "we are going to die in here!" and Roger responds " *You* are going to die in here, I'll be fine, I can breathe underwater. But don't worry, I'll be very respectful to your corpse for the first ten minutes"
I'm so happy youtube decided to recommend your videos to me, because they are truly amazing. Everything just oozes with quality and great design: - the in-depth content - the way you present the steps and the details with text and graphics - how the video is edited and enhanced with visual effects - the always perfectly chosen and timed music and sound bites (and the linked list) - just the right amount of memes And best of all: It just keeps going. Considering how staggeringly many cuts are in each video and the long running time of the end result, that's an incredible amount of work. And throughout it stays really entertaining while being in depth at the same time. Bravo! I'm really excited for what you'll do next!
I have just realised that if you quit job from Vex or Delvin, it effects the counter in the stats menu. You can actually go into a negative amount of quests completed, meaning you effectively can become master and have actively harmed them
Nice that there's a way to start this without screwing over Brand-Shei, I could never bring myself to do it after he was so thankful for me getting that book from that shipwreck
Watching this again, I think doing missions for the people in the blue palace will keep the wine from being considered stolen, just like you can pretty much have Falk give you the keys to the Pelagius wing without any quarrel if you've helped them out a bit.
how to become the harbinger without even touching a single weapon or armor. no magic, no stealth, no poisons, no puppy powers, just a potato farmer and his fists... or a lumberjack and his woodcutting axe...
Your creativity in solving all these given "problems" is just mindblowing! And your video editing and fine sense of humour within every single scene is pure gold! Great work!! I've enjoyed your uploads very much! Thank you for all if them
A: "I hereby declare the foundation of our Thieves Guild" B: "Yeah yeah, do we steal? A: "No". C: "Do we violently kill people?" A: "No, but only when they attack first" D: "Do we pick locks?" A: "Yes, but only on bad guys" B: "Do we trespass?" A: "Only if it's unavoidable"
*Looking down at Markarth guards looking up in absolute shock, as if looking at the Dragonborn in action, as I fly on a bucket* "It just wooooooooorks!!"
Those How to Beat videos are masterpieces! The editing, the music, the comedy, the tension and even JoJo Memes... You watch the 30 min like it's a good episode of a TV show.
Your videos are great. Fabulous editing, hilarious captions, no obnoxious narration, the greatest topics, and, definitely most of all, _not clickbait._
Pro tip: If you do enough quests for the blue palace beforehand you can take stuff from there without it being stolen, which should also include the wine
Interestingly, you CAN eat crimson nirnroot. Don’t do it though, it fucks up the quest, even though there is more crimson nirnroot than how many you need for the quest.
Lunatic Engineer First point, just go to your ingredients and press an eat button. It won’t stop you. Second, if I remember correctly, if you already have more than two, and you eat one, it resets to zero. If you’ve collected more than seven, and you eat one, you’ll have fucked up, because there are forty you need and there are forty-six total. Even though you still have the other ones, I don’t believe the game will recognize them anymore when you do that. If you have one and eat it, you then have negative one. I do believe you can recover from that. You get the quest automatically when you pick one up, which is presumably the origin of the glitch. It also might be caused by the fact it’s an ingredient, although quest food or potion items will yield the message “You cannot eat quest items.” It isn’t recognized as a quest item and the game gets confused.
I think I narrowly escaped then, pretty sure I ate one to figure out the first effect. You need 30 and I think there's 44 or so, got 28 in blackreach and didn't realize I had seven in a chest in breezehome, game didn't register those so I unknowingly grabbed more from blackreach
The reason I am asking how is because I never had that issue. Either thanks to the unoffical patch or luck. But good to know that skyrim has one more bug that I never heard of.
Elder Scrolls in general, really. In Daggerfall, if you keep walking against a wall, you'll start climbing up and eventually hit the top and fall over to the other side. In Morrowind, if you run at a wall fast enough, the wall ceases to exist. In Oblivion, if you keep quicksaving and quickloading, you'll eventually yeet your way through the wall. Walls are just an abstract concept in this series.
As soon as I heard the song 'dearly beloved' at 14:39 I remembered that kingdom hearts exists and felt happy, like I was my younger self again, so I bought all the games played them all, got mad at the final boss in kh2 and finally got around to playing kh3. I feel happy that I did something I couldn't as a child :)
Man I gotta say, you make some incredible videos. Your content, editing and selection of music just bring everything together so beautifully and hilariously. Please keep at it, I love your work! :D
Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you." Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever! Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man! Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!
I killed Heimskr during my first werewolf transformation lol. Wanted to kill Nazeem as well while I was at it but I couldn't find him in all the clusterfuck that was going on xD
More bugthesda™ : th-cam.com/play/PLfndWzNAXra06znz1QPRdyApj0-W_2-lW.html
*EDIT : The tower stone will let you unlock Pinewatch without lockpicking* : th-cam.com/video/xADrKp-OJqI/w-d-xo.html
Thank you Evan Chase for bringing this to my attention.
15:57 Gain entry to Karliah’s ass.
Ashish Stefan 😩
John Is Cringe I’m not the one who put it in the video.
@DrDokka it works in every game with the same engine, so even in fallout 4 and 76. it is quite old
26:38 Is it supposed to say that you trespassed once?
“You’re the worst thief I’ve ever heard of”
“But you have heard of me”
"That only makes it worse"
Hahha nice Jack Sparrow quote :D
That’s gotta be the best thief I’ve ever seen
so it would seem!
Thomas Hothersall that's got to be the best monkey buccaneer I've ever seen
Skyrim game desigh 101:
-Fail an initiation quest.
-Be accepted into the thiefs guild anyway.
-"It just works."
-2 parts in the whole quest where you absolutely have to commit a crime.
“Who’s Laughin now?”
*1 part due to the Tower Stone
@@adhominem2946 Seems a little frustrating, but i love when games don't just babysit you the whole way. I wish Morrowind graphics and combat didn't suck ass though.
Yeah. What could be a good compromise is if the game stored the closest previous autosave to you starting any major quest and informed you after you fail that a quest line has been closed off, so you could go back at any time to retry.
@@johnmorrell3187 Nah, sounds bullshit. Morrowind is great for exactly its realism. You don't get informed in real life that you've lost an opportunity anywhere.
"Congratulations, your the new leader of the thieves guild!"
"The what guild?"
LMAO
"Expardon me?"
sorry to be a grammar nazi, but
*You're**
brynn achilles 😂
Haru Okumura Yu’oRe
The funniest thing about mercer is he used the skeleton key to unlock his max potential. The state you fight him in is canonically the absolute strongest he could ever become. He sold his soul to a god that hates him so he could be mildly inconvenient to fight.
“It’s all down hill from here”
*pulls out Crossbow (Legendary)*
Oh that's cool, so the Skeleton Key is THAT amazing of an artifact and not just a glorified lockpick?!
I had no idea!
Dang, imagine if the Dragonborn used that key to unlock his own full potential.
@@enthuast3370 Reanu Keeves would still kick their asses
I just let my Dremora Lords fight him while I admire the Falmer statue.
The first rule of Thieves guild: "No killing, only stealing."
Ymfah: "N O"
Kills and doesnt steal instead.
The first rule of Dark Brotherhood: "No stealing, only killing"
Ymfah: "Fuck your Protected NPC bullshit, you're all dying to MIND SPIDERS, OIL SPIDERS, and FLAME SPIDERS!!!"
@@nadrewod999 He used his *STANDO POWAH!!!*
*Hierophant Spider, Stray Spider, and Spider Heart Attack!*
Ymfah: *Uno reverse card*
First rule is no killing. First quest, "It's okay if you kill Aringoth and his mercenaries."
Those scenes with todd howard saying "it just works" while something that shouldnt work is working always gets me
It /just/ works.
That joke is the one thing that always works
What do you mean? Skyrim is a completely balanced game with no exploits whatsoever
It works while working out that it shouldnt be working on working for work and working isnt working but work is work so it just keeps working, and its disturbed by the fact that it is working while it shouldnt be working but todd said it works so it thought it worked while working but not being able to work but still working i mean yes it does work but it also doesnt while it does and worker here is having an existential crisis while working while it shouldnt be working.
Another comment somewhere floating around TH-cam said something pretty funny regarding this. I can't remember the exact wording, so I'll paraphrase:
Todd didn't mean " It just _works_ ", as in the mechanics make sense. He means " It _just_ works ", as in the mechanics are held together by scotch tape and a prayer.
*literally stands there and does nothing* Brynjolf: I think you have the spark I’m looking for
Really desperate to recruit people. Trying times these days.
It is truly pathetic how the game just hands you everything. Everything may as well mean nothing if this is the case.
Oblivion: You have to get a recommendation from each mage guild "office" in all of the major cities to prove your magic prowess and worthiness of the mages guild.
Skyrim: Please cast this spell and we'll let you in. Oh you don't know the spell? Here i'll teach it for you. Just please join.
@@LedzQQ "oblivion is better than Skyrim" how original
@@theintelligenceagency3638 It's not a joke it's just an opinion why does it have to be original?
"I didnt wanna steal anything, so i became a murderer"
Actually it was self defense, all he has to say is “I swear I didn’t cast fury on that man”
it's not stealing if it's off a corpse!
"Dead not need, we take!"
A serial killer, a drug dealer, a home invader, a fraudster, an extortionist, I mean, still lookin at 20 years to life off the financial crimes alone
It's not stealing if it's won in honorable combat
Come to think of it, if you can commit this many "crimes" without being registered at all, you definitely deserve to be the best Thief's Guild leader ever lol
So true.
Dude that wedding thing seems straight out of a heist movie
@@Pihsrosnec Why did he do that?
@@foty8679 i think it somehow broke the thieves guild quest letting him sequence break
@@foty8679 Its kinda common for speedrunners do that, apparently wedding can break any sequence and can by pass through a lot of stuff
"But even though you failed the job, you've still got the spark I'm looking for."
"WHAT?!"
That happened in my original joining of the thieves guild because I forgot either who I was supposed to give the ring to or who I was supposed to take it from, I dont remember which
To be fair, in Oblivion you can fail the first Thieves' guilfmd mission and still get in the guild, although you have to do another mission (that you can't fail) first
@@originalname8541 me to I got the ring then putt it on the on some one who was isn't it
@@originalname8541 First time I did it, I got caught and failed. But I thought it was scripted, because of the whole "bad luck" thing.
Ah the good old days when joining the thieves guild was something you had to actively seek out, and any lawful good paladin wouldn't just get fucking dragged into it the moment they enter a new city. I try so hard to like Skyrim but it really irritates me with things like that.
“My name is Lifts-Her-Tail, I am 33 years old and I live in the northeast section of solitude, where all the thieves are, I don’t steal, but I occasionally kill.”
Guys whats he referring too
@@bananaman4806 Yoshikage Kira's introduction
@Mr. Snom And what do we ask when we see a reference to JoJo?
@@bananaman4806 I believe that would be a motherfucking *J O J O R E F E R E N C E*
"occasionally"
9:43 Wow! that was amazing! Using your warhammer to save Gulum Ei from that arrow which was headed straight for him! I bet he was quite thankful afterwards.
Hello I'm the Thieves Guild's Master. I've committed countless crimes. What crimes you might ask? Well... I trespassed once. There was also that one time I picked a lock but it was to a bandit's hideout. Thievery? Oh no I don't do that.
He did break the laws of physics though.
@@Duggie1-w3x well, we politely gave walls generous offerings to help us.
Waiting for 666 likes
i broke your 666 likes
@@Duggie1-w3x It it a very minor crime.
guard: "are you a thief?"
ymfah: "well yes, but actually no"
Yeh boi
Tolfdir: "A dragon! Quick, Archmage! Use your magic to defeat it!"
ymfah: "DAFUQ IS MAGIC?"
Are you a real thief?
Well, uh, technically, uh, nah.
YES, THIEF CAUSE 1 TRESPASSES
I was searching for this comment lol 😂
Guard: We did it boys, we tracked down the leader of the Thieves Guild Other guards: So? She didn’t do anything wrong.
Imagine whole Stormcloak army barging in Ratway, scouring the place, finding the filthy lizard and handing him 5 septim ticket for trespassing.
Oh, wait, that's just IRS in action.
@@burningsinner1132 I would be thankful for such cheap taxes
thats what's brilliant about this. now they can never take down the thieves guild now cause their leader is literally an upstanding citizen who has committed no crimes.
@@longleaf1217 assuming they don't have a Rico act in Skyrim
(law that bans organized crime itself in the us it's what they used to take down all the mobster bosses
well that and tax evasion)
Guards: I can excuse killing people and looting their bodies but I draw the line at pickpocketing
I love how you show even the failed ideas. They're often hilarious, and spice up the video more than a typical straightforward list of instructions would. Such a great style for these videos.
Me: Wow that's a nice sword there trader.
Trader: You can have it for 300 gold.
Me:No. Y O U can have it for 300 gold.
Trader:Oh ok. gives 300 gold*
Speech 100
@@firstnamelastname7244 1000000*
illusion 100
speech 100
confusion 100
wtf 100
THE POWER OF THE THU'UM
@@Ironmaniacs7 THU'UM THEY SUMMON THE THY'UM
People killed: 69
Murders: 0
Well...
Murder problems require self-defence solutions.
Ok yeah but it still proves why
Nice
this comment has 420 likes and the people killed are 69,perfection
That is a fair fight
*Ymfah beats the thieves guild without stealing*
Skyrim guards: "wait, that's legal"
@@cluttter482 he didnt murder anyone he just defended himself
What? A somewhat original take on the "wait, that's illegal meme"? _What madness is this?_
He only broke the laws of nature.
*I beat the thieves guild by stealing*
Skyrim guards: "wait, i know you."
Or is it?
"The only laws I break are the laws of physics."
That paralysis poison hit Mercer at the perfect time. He was mid spin attack and being further spun by a power attack from the greatsword, so the paralysis froze him in place and spun him around like a fuckin roulette
We were somewhere around Riften on the edge of the forest when the poison began to take hold...
@@downix what?
@@gubungodupenhageniii1195 - I modified the opening line from a famous novel, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"
You spin me right round baby...
@@downix I like your words magic man
Guy: I never see thieves guild leader getting caught even once, wonder what his secret is
ymfah: *sweats profusely*
Can argonians even sweat?
@@gigabytemon metaphorically they can
@@gigabytemon top 10 questions science can't answer
secretly kick le bucket under the bed
@@theokrisna was that a what I think it was...?
On today’s episode of Guild Swap, we take a cheeky Dark Brotherhood member and place them with the Thieves’ Guild.
Oh I would watch this show
I actually did this and sneak killed everything that stood in my way because I wasn’t used to infiltration, just assassination
Can't wait for the Vigillant of Stendarr and a vampire to get a swap
who also just so happens to be the chosen one of sheogorath
@@peenyyt4921 Stealing bad. Hailing Sithis good.
Hail our Dread Father, the Void, Sithis! Hail our Unholy Matron, the Night Mother! Hail the Dark Brotherhood!
Funny thing about the water breathing, my first ever playthrough was as an argonian and I did the thieves guild quest line and water breathing was the only thing that saved me in that situation cause I had no idea where to go once the room filled. So Brynyolf and Karliah we're just drowning for like ten minutes while I tried to find a way out
LITERALLY SAME it seems easy now but my first time I was so confused.
I had to use a water breathing potion because I had no idea where the heck I should go. I keeped trying again and again to open the door where you came from. After like, two minutes of despair, I discovered that all I had to do was just escape by the roof
No stealing run: SELLS A MAN HIS OWN STOCK
That's not stealing, that's a steal of a deal!
DramaEx imagine ur at a store you take something from the store and sell it to them stealing
SuperSansCraft 1212 yeah because you sell it the thing at the store
You steal thing - guy buys thing - he put it in his store- repeat
That's capitalism :)
@@dramaexterminatus The Art of The Deal
The determination, the hours of gameplay, and the countless hours editing / rendering the video is mind blowing. How? Subbed.
For real I just picked up uploading on TH-cam in efforts to make my little but still active community of Wiimmfi Super Smash Brothers Brawl bigger and i can say as a fact that editing videos is very hard and tiring....even if my edit aren't that great. I love my community
DabZilla 710ish was he talking about your videos? No. He was talking about how good ymfah is at editing.
Whiterun Guard I don’t care if you think I just got my fucking sweet roll stolen
Whiterun Guard he didnt have to plug his community or whatever that junk is he couldve just said how hard his editing is
Luca Garrett exactly
"Should fit you like a glove... boss."
*Metal gear intensifies*
l i z a r d e a t e r
th-cam.com/video/dZAHk0g-Nfk/w-d-xo.html
hrrrrgh,, brynjolf. i'm trying to sneak around, but i'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the master, asking me to "polish his spear"
eyepatch and metal horn appears out of thin air
*points at argonian tits* a weapon to surpass metal gear
Imagine walking through Markarth and you see a random lizard woman flying to space in a bucket.
that part had me in stitches. I have played this game so much but never knew that was a thing. I knew about glitching through barriers with a plate but flying with a bucket?
Thats dwemer magic!
I would check what kind of skooma I was drinking.
In all fairness if Bethesda had kept up with Kirkbride's style post Morrowind that wouldn't even be strange enough to be worth noticing.
Too much Skooma.
Lusty Argonian Maid ❌
Trusty Argonian m8 ✅
You mean Veezara?
Or maybe Scouts-Many-Marshes
@@cooperchamberlain196 Veezara... ❤
Tail starts to rise
*_pants start to rise_*
The Sultry Argonian Bard
Ah yes the unwritten volume of The Lusty Argonian Maid
It wasnt sexual enough to sell copies sadly
It was stolen before getting published
@@anonthe-third2367 Damn shame
"My my, your hands aren't shaking at all. Am I to believe you have never used a lockpick before?"
"My lord, never have I handled such a tool before, believe me! And these motions are already making my fingers tired, even as it straightens and stiffens in my grasp"
"You already straightened it plenty, though. Isn't it time you slid it into the keyhole already?"
@@ZorotheGallade you did it…… you madman you did it
Hold Guard: "Are you a thief?"
ymfah: "Well yes, but actually no."
ymfah: "more of a murderer really"
"You are without doubt the worst thief I've ever heard of..."
"But you have heard of me!"
@@Malthaely All in self-defense tho
"Like I stole your guild, not technically, but other than that no.. I sttole nothing lul."
Thieves guild members: "Haha very funny, if you don't get caught I guess you really can't be called a thief."
me: “are you a comment copier?”
The 13th: “yEs”
I love this heartwarming story of Lifts-Her-Tail, who refuses to steal or commit other crimes but will kill without hesitation in "self defense"
"It's not stealing if he's *DEAD* "
Words to live by.
I mean, technically it still is. Even though the guy's dead it doesn't mean you can take his stuff, it belongs to his family/heir. If you found a dead man on the street irl you wouldn't be allowed to take his wallet, it would be considered stealing
Exantius E what’s he gonna do? report it?
@@exantiuse497 but, if you end the entire bloodline, it belongs to no-one.
@@khajiitkorner918 Actually, if no heir can be found, the belongings are automatically inherited by the state. So you will have to get rid of that as well. As soon as that is done you can legally take it though. I mean, there won't be any laws anyways at that point.
@@3st3st77 nice
“Return the skeleton key”
Funny joke
"No, no I don't think I will."
I mean with the unbreakable perk for lockpicking the skeleton key is useless anyway.
@@sugoistalin7809 You dont even need the perk, just pick up every lockpick you can find, if you're good enough you should never run out of lockpicks
@@idontknow8205 Alternatively, keep the skeleton key.
On my first run with the thieves I accidentally said to return the key, and then all I can do was taking an appreciative look to what an unmeasurable mistake I've made.
"Im not a thief"
"What do you mean? You literally run the thieves guild?"
"Doesnt mean I steal anything. I am morally against stealing."
It isn't stealing if the owner is dead. So, murder is fine (not assault because that is obviously not murder.)
"Since we murder instead of stealing now, the name "Thieves Guild" is no longer appropriate. However, calling it the Asassins Guild might be grounds for a lawsuit from the Dark Brotherhood as that's what they already do, so we decided to keep the name anyway"
"And in all honesty, all of my underlings steal, so it was fitting name for it anyway. I choose to turn a blind eye because it makes me money"
-The dark brotherhood member being sent to the Thieves guild
''The only crime i ever committed was trespassing and i felt terrible for it''
"Thieves Guild without Stealing"
*Takes all of Alvor's money by selling his own stuff back to him without first buying it from him in under the first three minutes*
He doesn't steel. Just borrow without question. And give that to the owner or someone else. And they are so happy therr give money in return. No theft at all
Well, it's -todd's- his fault for accepting to buy them.
That's not stealing that's fraud
It's not stealing it's a creative use of game mechanics
Business, my friend. Business
Isn’t this like, the opposite of click Baiting? I mean I got more than I clicked for... you only said stealing not all crimes
XD Had to reread the title again to confirm.
Will O'keefe we got more than we wanted
Would it be considered click rewarding then?
Jacob Smith exactly
"Stealing is immoral"
Proceeds to decimate half of Skyrim
"Stealing is immoral"
Proceeds to decimate half of Skyrim"
You know, I'm something of an anarcho capitalist myself.
Perfectly balanced. *As all things should be.*
B-but - but - muh self defence
It ain't stealing if he's dead
Next - How to beat the dark brotherhood without killing anyone.
too easy for ymfah
Well, it must be easy. You just make them die in accident OR make them killed by anyone else. Skyrim is very tolerant about that, especially with illusion school.
@@aeszeiro8869 What about his pacifist walk-through?
@@iskdea8461 he glitched Alduin out of existence and then glitched out of sovngarde
@@catman5136 Though he still finished it😂
For Gulem-ei you also could’ve become thane of solitude and you can just take the wine without it being counted as stealing
but killing argonians is badass
Yes, but that would be too easy and that is not the ymfah way.
More importantly it would still be tresspassing to go into the docks
The captain: NEXT. THE LIZARD
Alduin: Did someone say something?
Freaking racists.
Alduin after killing everyone: must've been the wind
Alduin: which one?
Alduin: what you say about my mom?
Alduin: *And I took that personally!!*
tfw you just conned the entire thieves guild to become their leader
The greatest hustle of all time.
But tbh, this makes her more impressive. Any thief can steal but only the greats can steal without stealing.
Our boss is so good, no one EVER saw her stealing.
@@Sypaka exactly. She's so good, we've never even seen her steal
The guy who crossed Wales in a straight line committed more crimes than this.
tell me more about this man
@@yourehereforthatarentyou Look it up on youtube, he has a channel and documented the whole thing
He sure did rack up a lot of trespasses
@@lred1383 Yes. Actually trespassing is quite easy to commit. I've did it several times without knowing. my GPS is weird and gates were opened so I've just came in using one, came out using other. Week after doing it daily I've seen "private property, no trespassing" sign :) It had also info about being secured, but I won't give much attention to it...
@@Petaurista13 actually trespassing itself in the UK isnt a crime unless against the queen or is "aggravated" trespass such as when asked to leave by a person then not doing so. edit: im not a lawyer btw dont actually do this
The horror of that one random Summerset Shadow who expected an average swordsman just like himself right before a greatsword madlizard came crashing through the door.
You failed. You stole and subsequently broke Marcurio's heart and that is the worst crime of them all.
Oh god the feels.
Tfw marcurio will never have a cute lizard wife 😔😔😔
You can't steal from the dead.
Marcurio a bitch boi tho
Cute...
*interview with the thieves guild*
(interviewer) can you tell me about your boss?
(thieves guild) our boss isnt even a thief, she has never committed a crime in her life
(thieves guild) Except that one time she trespassed and picked a lock. Other than that don't know how she's our boss.
(interviewer) What a dangerous woman.
Except many kills.
@@TheSemgold It was all self defense, so no crime
starting to think you are one of Bethesda's programmers just showing off what you secretly placed in the game
Bezejmenný kanál That’d be sick
Nah, bc then he'd make it 100% possible. Then again, it is. He just screwed up twice.
Bethesda has programmers?
So now the likes are 420
i love how he spent 20 minutes of the video playing as an argonian just to make that water joke
17:55
10% *PAIN*
20% *PAIN*
15% Concentreted power of *PAIN*
5% *PAIN*
50% *PAIN*
100% Reason to remember the *PAIN*
Second 15% is actually 50%
Onde já se viu um Br que não fica brsando no vídeo dos gringo.
@@ladyathenaofowls Thanks, fixed
Pedro Henrique Leite felix no prob
Thanks for the replay button
Back when I was a kid, I thought it might be possible to "fly" by just climbing onto something in the air VERY fast over and over again.
The bucket trick makes my dream come true.
23:14 You missed this one. I Present you the Tower Stone (the most underated of the standing Stones)
Its Power lets you open any Non Master Locks once a day. So this one could be avoided
Holy crap somebody actually remembers the Tower stone, your knowledge knows not the bounds of irrelevancy
@@kaws6231 even the snake one xD
Dude, in games I always get a way to use even the most useless itens/spells/mechanics Just for the sake of Discovery xD
I was so upset when he didn't use that, I thought one as enlightened as him would know what to do
@@dogfellow3848 me too. Like... DAMM! The Guy know so many tricks that I was not aware of. Like teleporting using saves, even this shopkeeper bug that lets you sell then their own itens! But the Tower Stone is part of the game. Everyone that starts playing Skyrim, sometime search "all standing Stones locations" and learn about then... Thats is why we get so upset when we see something like this xD
..my god
"You Dirty LiTTLE ELF!!!"
> Argonian: whuh?
argonians and kahjiit are considered elves, although orcs, which are literally elves, aren't
@@Bug-Intercourser I'm pretty sure i've been called al elf while playing as an Orc. plus, you need orc blood to replicate the blood of the dwemer.
@@coolmoyai1475 some nords are just dumb as shit
Men and Mer
My first Skyrim character was an argonian and after you kill Mercer my first thought was the same. “You idiots are going to die but not me”
Same
Argonian Gang
But you still gasp for air every time you go in/out of water, so that's nice.
@@PlatoonGoon it's called being polite.
Reminds me of an American Dad episode when the basement is getting flooded and Roger and Stan are in it and Stan goes "we are going to die in here!" and Roger responds " *You* are going to die in here, I'll be fine, I can breathe underwater. But don't worry, I'll be very respectful to your corpse for the first ten minutes"
If you paralyzed them then you could steal without it being counted, but you would’ve needed a poison or the spell
10% Pain
20% Pain
15% Concentrated power of pain
5% Pain
50% Pain
And 100% reason to remember the *pain*
HERE COMES THE PAIN TRAIN (C)
Joel Haggis 420th like :3
I was literally wheezing during that part
17:54
@@mauer1 You're a hero. I hate it when people don't put a god damn time stamp.
Everyone gangsta till ymfah pulls out common house appliances
14:03
ymfah: this is a bucket
Skyrim: dear God
ymfah: there's more
Skyrim: Noo
TF2 expiration date XD
Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches.
nostalgia be like
You had me rolling dude. gg
*chef's kiss*
I'm so happy youtube decided to recommend your videos to me, because they are truly amazing.
Everything just oozes with quality and great design:
- the in-depth content
- the way you present the steps and the details with text and graphics
- how the video is edited and enhanced with visual effects
- the always perfectly chosen and timed music and sound bites (and the linked list)
- just the right amount of memes
And best of all:
It just keeps going. Considering how staggeringly many cuts are in each video and the long running time of the end result, that's an incredible amount of work. And throughout it stays really entertaining while being in depth at the same time.
Bravo!
I'm really excited for what you'll do next!
Final grade for Mikey Skullivan: B+
@@lunaticengineer8408 You're Fired!
Ikr, the timed audio and all the cuts and edits, my god. This is great effort resulting in great quality.
Tail: Lifted.
Quest: Yeeted.
Game: Buggy af.
It's ymfah time.
love it
Hotel: Trivago
@@BlindBosnian i was gonna type that
It: Just Works
Zathas: "it's ymfah time"
google: "DID YOU MEAN: it's _spiffing brit_ time"
I have just realised that if you quit
job from Vex or Delvin, it effects the counter in the stats menu. You can actually go into a negative amount of quests completed, meaning you effectively can become master and have actively harmed them
"How to Beat the Thieves Guild without Stealing"-"Ain't stealing if he's dead".
My friend, I think you have a great future in politics.
Oh shit
Nice that there's a way to start this without screwing over Brand-Shei, I could never bring myself to do it after he was so thankful for me getting that book from that shipwreck
I wish there was a way to bypass the debts quest. SO far I haven't found any except console commands :\
Literally breaking the laws of reality just to tread on thin ice of the law: The Movie
That's awesome
Watching this again, I think doing missions for the people in the blue palace will keep the wine from being considered stolen, just like you can pretty much have Falk give you the keys to the Pelagius wing without any quarrel if you've helped them out a bit.
Nope. Always counts as stealing no matter what even if you buddy up with everyone in the palace.
next on ymfah : how to beat skyrim without playing the game
Not playing the game is the real reward
“How to play Skyrim without a console or computer”
Simply take the disk and begin beating it. Mercilessly.
Simple really.
how to become the harbinger without even touching a single weapon or armor. no magic, no stealth, no poisons, no puppy powers, just a potato farmer and his fists... or a lumberjack and his woodcutting axe...
How to beat Skyrim without ever being born
The struggles of a lawful evil Skyrim player:
Murder? Fine by me, but for the love of God don't pick pockets or locks, we aren't animals.
Murder? Could care less. Steal someone's sweet roll on accident? War crime.
It’s not murder dear... it’s self defense
Murder is also bad. It's more like... forced execution.
@@stefanm.734 As opposed to voluntary execution?
@@minecraftbrother7255 Exactly.
15:50 "if you ever manage to gain entry to karliah"
"Gain entry to Karliah's ass"
Thats big kink
“She needs to be taught a lesson,”
Yessir, right away sir!
Shit, I didn't notice that at first xD
"she des- needs to be taught a lesson,"
"if you gain entry to- Karliah"
"i'd consider it a personal favor"
Your creativity in solving all these given "problems" is just mindblowing! And your video editing and fine sense of humour within every single scene is pure gold! Great work!! I've enjoyed your uploads very much! Thank you for all if them
A: "I hereby declare the foundation of our Thieves Guild"
B: "Yeah yeah, do we steal?
A: "No".
C: "Do we violently kill people?"
A: "No, but only when they attack first"
D: "Do we pick locks?"
A: "Yes, but only on bad guys"
B: "Do we trespass?"
A: "Only if it's unavoidable"
A.K.A. the Riften Companions
You broke Marcurio's heart.
He broke your chances at 0 locks picked.
ha
When you started flying away in the bucket I legit died this game is a blessing
Dude I was had to replay it twice to make sure I wasn't crazy. Time to fly away.
I honestly thought he edited the bucket going up because I couldn’t believe that was in the game
*Looking down at Markarth guards looking up in absolute shock, as if looking at the Dragonborn in action, as I fly on a bucket*
"It just wooooooooorks!!"
Those How to Beat videos are masterpieces! The editing, the music, the comedy, the tension and even JoJo Memes... You watch the 30 min like it's a good episode of a TV show.
The music and editing just makes it so much better than a let's play
Wow. I can't even imagine the absolutely massive library of sound samples you have.
"It just works"
Lusty Argonian maid is the greatest book.
I see your Lusty Argonian Maid and raise you a Sultry Argonian Bard.
I see both, and raise you The Real Life of Barenziah
shit i want to like it but it's at 69 likes
@@gellasztomania1643 Ah, the book where somebody complains about how spiky cat dick is in detail.
Gavin Dillon man I love morrowind
This is one of my favorite Ymfah videos. Always come back to this one every once and awhile. The twist in Markarth kills me 😂
The editing in this video just kills me. The wooden plate is just marvelously hilarious.
Thank you for the awesome video
"marvelously hilarious" that's new
Your videos are great. Fabulous editing, hilarious captions, no obnoxious narration, the greatest topics, and,
definitely most of all, _not clickbait._
“Next, the lizard!”
ALDUIN ENTERS THE CHAT
Pro tip: If you do enough quests for the blue palace beforehand you can take stuff from there without it being stolen, which should also include the wine
>Lifts-Her-Tail
>No tail lifting
0/10
Not so lusty 😞
*Concerned face intensifies*
or maybe *ಠ_ಠ*
10:50
"Apply prostitution"
10/10
She lifted her tail. And everything else with the bucket @14:10
“You cannot eat quest items”
Interestingly, you CAN eat crimson nirnroot. Don’t do it though, it fucks up the quest, even though there is more crimson nirnroot than how many you need for the quest.
@@elephystry how?
Lunatic Engineer
First point, just go to your ingredients and press an eat button. It won’t stop you.
Second, if I remember correctly, if you already have more than two, and you eat one, it resets to zero. If you’ve collected more than seven, and you eat one, you’ll have fucked up, because there are forty you need and there are forty-six total. Even though you still have the other ones, I don’t believe the game will recognize them anymore when you do that. If you have one and eat it, you then have negative one. I do believe you can recover from that. You get the quest automatically when you pick one up, which is presumably the origin of the glitch. It also might be caused by the fact it’s an ingredient, although quest food or potion items will yield the message “You cannot eat quest items.” It isn’t recognized as a quest item and the game gets confused.
I think I narrowly escaped then, pretty sure I ate one to figure out the first effect. You need 30 and I think there's 44 or so, got 28 in blackreach and didn't realize I had seven in a chest in breezehome, game didn't register those so I unknowingly grabbed more from blackreach
The reason I am asking how is because I never had that issue. Either thanks to the unoffical patch or luck. But good to know that skyrim has one more bug that I never heard of.
The Hat In Time OST is a great addition, really adds some variety after hearing bonetrousle 7000 times.
but it's bonetrousle. It's timeless.
I can't decide what is more impressive. The challenges and the workarounds you come up with, or the top tier jokes and editing
I just love how much work there goes into solving each little issue
My reaction every time he flies with a bucket: YES HE'S DOING IT! GO GO GO!!!
Character: passes straight through a solid wall
SKYRIM INTENSIFIES
Elder Scrolls in general, really. In Daggerfall, if you keep walking against a wall, you'll start climbing up and eventually hit the top and fall over to the other side. In Morrowind, if you run at a wall fast enough, the wall ceases to exist. In Oblivion, if you keep quicksaving and quickloading, you'll eventually yeet your way through the wall. Walls are just an abstract concept in this series.
iT jUsT wOrKs
@@James_Wisniewski It seems fitting that a npc is saying walls are just abstract concepts
the change in music at 14:25 is seriously one of the best moments in any youtube video, period
step 1: be an argonian maid
step 2: ???
step 3: become a thieves’ guild master
(lusty) argonian maid
OwO
I like that you don't just do a straight-shot montage of the steps required....you show why their required.
Coming soon:
-Pacifist Dark Brotherhood
-Pacifist Companions
-Wizard College without magic
The third one is easy
@@yagroloiii5721 Well, except for that times you need to cast spells to progress (like the lesser guard part)
@@EnrocaLaRoca True, and one of the final quests where you need to cast fire and ice to some walls
Hold up. In Dawnguard there are exploding dwarven bolts of fire and ice. Coulds those work?🤔
@@RaxusXeronos Actually I didn't think on that. That might work.
As soon as I heard the song 'dearly beloved' at 14:39 I remembered that kingdom hearts exists and felt happy, like I was my younger self again, so I bought all the games played them all, got mad at the final boss in kh2 and finally got around to playing kh3. I feel happy that I did something I couldn't as a child :)
There's so many aspects that's just impressive about this
The ingenuity...the editing....I am in awe.
23:15 this lock is unavoidable
me: well sht
youtube recommendations: "how to unlock pine watch without lockpicking"
He could have used the skelleton key before give is back, lol
@@alyssonalvesazevedo3657 still lockpicking?
@@maiq1218 yeah, actually I forgot that the skeleton key is just a lockpick that doesn't break
what about the wooden bowl?
@@ImsexyNiknowit1 does not work in this situation
Man I gotta say, you make some incredible videos. Your content, editing and selection of music just bring everything together so beautifully and hilariously. Please keep at it, I love your work! :D
15:06
Yes! I'm positive I saw a Lizard fly up here in a bucket!
"Bet you saw a Psijic Monk appear from thin air, too."
*entourage of City Guards laughing*
“Next! The lizard!”
*is that a racism I hear*
“Instantly get bombarded with racism”
Twitter when somebody breathes:
Have you played Skyrim?
*Alduin lands*
- Wanna repeat it to the face of this lizard?!
I mean it's kind of like calling a human a monkey.
It's not right, but it is at the same time.
I love that he ends every video that I’ve seen with killing Heimskr, aka one of the most annoying NPC’s in the game...other than Nazeem.
Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise!
We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!
But you were once man! Aye! And as man, you said, "Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you."
Aye, love. Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel!
And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit!
The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth!
Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives?
And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people!
So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine!
For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!
Terrible and powerful Talos! We, your unworthy servants, give praise! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment!
And deserve our praise you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Talos, not as god, but as man!
Trust in me, Whiterun! Trust in the words of Heimskr! For I am the chosen of Talos! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!
Patheron Aetherson oh my god why have you done this. Guess I haven’t gotten rid of him after all *pulls out knife*
@@graves1486 do you go to the cloud district very often? what am I saying, of course you dont.
@@talsubach5979 didnt know that 5 normal houses + a mansion is called a district, especially since anyone can come and go through it as they please.
I killed Heimskr during my first werewolf transformation lol. Wanted to kill Nazeem as well while I was at it but I couldn't find him in all the clusterfuck that was going on xD
A story about a thieves guild leader who got to the top by never stealing would be incredible.