Pathological Love and Pathological Jealousy | Are They Related to Cluster B?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
  • This video answers the questions: What are the characteristics of pathological love and pathologicial jealousy? What is the difference between them? With which personality disorders are they associated? Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: / drgrande
    The 10 Personality Disorders:
    Cluster A (odd, eccentric)
    Paranoid Personality Disorder: pervasive pattern of distrust and hostility
    Schizoid Personality Disorder: a tendency to be unresponsive to social dimensions, a loner
    Schizotypal Personality Disorder: odd thinking, magical beliefs
    Cluster B (erratic, dramatic)
    Antisocial Personality Disorder: criminality, irresponsibility, and impulsivity
    Borderline Personality Disorder: fear of abandonment, relationship difficulties
    Narcissistic Personality Disorder: grandiose sense of self-importance, arrogance, sense of entitlement
    Histrionic Personality Disorder: attention seeking and provocative
    Cluster C (anxious, fearful)
    Avoidant Personality Disorder: not engaging in social situations out of fear of humiliation and rejection
    Dependent Personality Disorder: over relying on somebody for support
    Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder: perfectionism, rigid adherence to rules
    American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: Author.
    Costa, A. L., Sophia, E. C., Sanches, C., Tavares, H., & Zilberman, M. L. (2015). Pathological jealousy: Romantic relationship characteristics, emotional and personality aspects, and social adjustment. Journal of Affective Disorders, 174, 38-44. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2014.11.017
    van Scheppingen, M. A., Chopik, W. J., Bleidorn, W., & Denissen, J. J. A. (2019). Longitudinal actor, partner, and similarity effects of personality on well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 117(4), e51-e70. doi-org.mylibr... (Supplemental)
    Williams, L., Ashford-Smith, S., Cobban, L., Fitzsimmons, R., Sukhatme, V., & Hunter, S. C. (2019). Does your partner’s personality affect your health? Actor and partner effects of the Big Five personality traits. Personality and Individual Differences, 149, 231-234. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2019.06.004
    Stravogiannis, A. L. da C., Kim, H. S., Sophia, E. C., Sanches, C., Zilberman, M. L., & Tavares, H. (2018). Pathological jealousy and pathological love: Apples to apples or apples to oranges? Psychiatry Research, 259, 562-570. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2017.11.029

ความคิดเห็น • 224

  • @JeanieD
    @JeanieD 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    My ex-husband had pathological jealousy with me, and was very controlling, accused me of cheating all the time, etc. I have been divorced from him for 12 years, and in a good, healthy relationship with my current husband for almost 10 years, but I still have nightmares about the emotional abuse from my ex. My current husband has some difficulty believing someone could act the way I tell him my ex did, except that my parents and brother corroborate what I have said. I don’t believe my ex was full-blown into NPD, but he definitely had narcissistic traits. I am grateful that I met someone who isn’t like him.

    • @Itsunclegabby
      @Itsunclegabby 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm grateful you did too. :)

    • @overimagination2812
      @overimagination2812 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I had had pathological jealousy and can tell I also gave many exes nightmares to this day. You'd think I was a psychopath the way the fear washes over them when they see me lol. Well, borderline... close...might be what your husband had. Childish..infant-like over-reactions and suspicions would best describe it.

    • @lousunny5682
      @lousunny5682 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      over imagination that was what I was thinking too. I think the pathological jealousy part seems more fitting with BPD. Although, we don’t know the full extent of their relationship either.

    • @lousunny5682
      @lousunny5682 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Happy you found love with a healthy person ❤️❤️

    • @OrehBelich92
      @OrehBelich92 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@overimagination2812 how did you set yourself free from this?

  • @missurbanxplorer
    @missurbanxplorer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    I'm really glad I found your channel, I'm not a doctor but I'm a scientist and I find your channel very educational. Keep up the great work Dr. Grande

    • @trueworldnorman8544
      @trueworldnorman8544 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How times your heart been hurt?

    • @christianhill8681
      @christianhill8681 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      MissUrbanXplorer same I started a couple months ago. It’s so convenient; I’ve learned quite a bit

    • @jokusekovaan
      @jokusekovaan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      labwork or such? i don't understand what a 'scientist' means. curiosity, taking notes, making drawings, passing them down... the 1800th century view.
      i've noticed, for example, in the physics community a reluctance to call anyone a scientist...

    • @juneytoolooney2165
      @juneytoolooney2165 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think ppl are "jealous" that u got that special like.

    • @provethioaltum3276
      @provethioaltum3276 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yea i dont think your a scientist lol. On TH-cam that means you work at a gas station and make minimum wage😂😂😂👌

  • @religiohominilupus5259
    @religiohominilupus5259 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    "As always, I found [your] analysis of the topic to be interesting," Dr. G.--thank you!
    It's amazing what the human psyche is capable of. Sometimes, in order to protect itself, while other times, it certainly seems to exhibit a desire to annihilate, rather than protect itself.
    Interesting, and confusing.

  • @healyourselffirst8824
    @healyourselffirst8824 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Well, that explains a lot in regard to being unable to say no to unhealthy relationships and let go of the love we are supposed to feel naturally for another human being.
    I’ve been watching each of your videos as they are released and learning so much from your research and explanations Dr Grande. This one hits too close to home. Thanks again 🧘🏼‍♀️

  • @jamesw17
    @jamesw17 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Dear Dr Grande
    Just a quick note to thank you for your work. I have been binge-watching your back catalogue over the past couple of months when I have the time, and I really appreciate your cool, analytical, even-handed approach to the topics you discuss, as well as the depth of knowledge you are willing to make accessible to your viewers in your content. I noticed your subscriber count has gone through the roof since I first subscribed. Congratulations, it's well-deserved!
    Thanks again and best regards

    • @nicholasgordon4999
      @nicholasgordon4999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If by well deserved you mean TH-cam is telling viewers what they should watch, then yes you're right.

    • @bizinsky
      @bizinsky 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Let the ads play.

  • @annkeany6602
    @annkeany6602 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    And a" little jealousy might be helpful "he says and smiles. 😏

  • @pedinurse1
    @pedinurse1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I wish you could do a Q and A. You are so knowledgable

    • @NurseHarley299
      @NurseHarley299 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I would LOVE to see a Q&A stream, 100% agree !

    • @christinley5213
      @christinley5213 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I second that!!!!

    • @citizenxxxxx
      @citizenxxxxx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too!!

    • @carolnahigian9518
      @carolnahigian9518 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish my parents were alive to learn, too!

  • @rejaneoliveira5019
    @rejaneoliveira5019 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I actually feel a lot of compassion for people suffering from pathological love and pathological jealousy. These people are deprived from one of the most beautiful feelings of real love, trust and mutual understanding.
    However I feel that therapy may benefit such individuals.
    Awesome video Dr. Grande!

    • @NurseHarley299
      @NurseHarley299 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Have you ever dated one ? I had one for 4 and half years and then another for 6 months and they both destroyed me mentally and physically :/

    • @Chad_Fuckhammer
      @Chad_Fuckhammer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I only do if those people`s feelings can be reassured regularly with something as simple as letting them lick my dinner plate clean before I put it in the dishwasher. Jealous lovers are like dogs. It`s only appropriate for dogs to act like dogs, not people. I don`t love people who beg like dogs.

    • @OrehBelich92
      @OrehBelich92 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Chad_Fuckhammer edgy af.

  • @Kal-El_was_taken
    @Kal-El_was_taken 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I swear you answer the questions I want to ask before I formulate how to ask them, it’s great.

  • @allyson5712
    @allyson5712 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Fascinating content, as always, Dr. Grande. It sounds to me, if one values their own sanity, that it’s best to avoid those pathologies and clusters. More reason to be well-informed and take one’s time before committing to a long term romantic relationship.

  • @ybrueckner5589
    @ybrueckner5589 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This was a good one. I sent it to a family member. I wish I had seen this back when I needed it. But back then I was way too proud to benefit from it. I must admit I saw myself in it😳

  • @retroactivejealousy-worldl1805
    @retroactivejealousy-worldl1805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is really interesting and I’m going to watch this a few times
    to make sure I have absorbed all the details. I am one of only around five clinicians worldwide who specialise in treating something which has been labelled as ‘Retroactive Jealousy’ (RJ). This is believed to be a form of OCD and would, it seems, be a subset of Pathological Jealousy characterised by anxiety, jealousy and distress about a partner’s sexual or romantic past. Many of us in this field also acknowledge something called ‘ Relationship OCD (ROCD), believed to be another complex form of OCD which mirrors Pathological Love to some degree. This often co-occurs with RJ. Obviously, these are conditions not currently recognised by the diagnostic manuals, and there is no current academic research into RJ (though some is now under way) but thousands identify with the criteria and clinically responds to the same treatment as more generalised OCD.

  • @nazcarcup
    @nazcarcup 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Well articulated. Well organized. Made a lot of sense. Dr. Grande, another really good video.

  • @kathrinjohnson2582
    @kathrinjohnson2582 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Can you talk about the psychotic jealousy? That sounds fascinating. Thank you

  • @coralking5570
    @coralking5570 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Well then. That explains absolutely everything...👀. Once again, I have to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m a bright girl, supposedly, but I don’t think I’d ever have understood and processed everything fully or in a timely way without your guidance over the last year. If I were a rich woman, you’d be reclining with spiced rum on your own tropical island right now. As I’m poor, you’ll have to make do with eternal gratitude 😁💛

  • @paper-chasepublications9433
    @paper-chasepublications9433 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Another EXCELLENT video, Doc. Now I'm interested to see a follow-up with an example of a couple with both of these traits if you would be so kind to add it to your list. Say for example: a husband with pathological love and a wife with pathological jealousy. If you have time one of these days... please and thanks, Dr. Grande!

  • @m3mphis_chick944
    @m3mphis_chick944 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    "Jealousy" reminds me of the "evil eye" kind of subject/topic. I suppose anyone could have it, and that's something everyone would have to "watch out" for.

    • @Impaled_Onion-thatsmine
      @Impaled_Onion-thatsmine 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thats normal insecure, borderline relationships are normal, dangerous and you will never be the same after why would you want to play risk

    • @mr.vargas5648
      @mr.vargas5648 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Narcs are well known for being jellyfishes.

    • @clayandputtyvideos1647
      @clayandputtyvideos1647 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Every human has it.

    • @user-sr1kc6jj2b-p1q
      @user-sr1kc6jj2b-p1q 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In anthropology the evil eye is often a look of envy, but it could be jealousy too. Envy and jealousy are not the same.

    • @evalsoftserver
      @evalsoftserver 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Their is a Thin Line between love and Hate

  • @arkieologist
    @arkieologist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ohh yes. So glad you are covering this. Still healing from an intense relationship with a Borderline that ended several months ago. It would be great to hear more about Cluster C! There is definitely a high demand to understand Cluster B. I have been learning a lot from these informative videos. Thank you for making these! SO helpful!!

  • @maxpanicked1451
    @maxpanicked1451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Would have loved to see this information as it relates to age groups. I'd say, anecdotally, that teenagers and young adults have a stronger tendency towards pathological love and jealousy than adults, and especially more than the oldest adults. Thank you Dr. Grande!!

    • @HumanimalChannel
      @HumanimalChannel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Young women can be particularly difficult partners.

    • @leilaschafernak-perez8814
      @leilaschafernak-perez8814 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Humanimal So can young men

    • @nicholasgordon4999
      @nicholasgordon4999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm not a psychologist, but I don't think pathological love should be called such. When someone truly loves someone, their actions are selfless. So what pathological lovers are actually doing is objectifying and idolising someone for their own gratification. It comes from a selfish place. This isn't actually love. So pathological lovers should not 'love less': they should love more by respecting the object-of-their-affections' wishes by leaving them alone.

    • @nicholasgordon4999
      @nicholasgordon4999 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@M Z Empathy doesn't have to be taught; it is inherent. Empathy only has to be taught in clinical psychopaths, so I'd suggest if you feel no empathy then perhaps you are a psychopath. But interestingly empathy is proportional to similarity. This is why you have the most empathy for your immediate descendants. This is why racism exists naturally too. People tend to have less empathy for those of different race, hence why the vast majority of wars have been conducted along racial lines. Empathy diminishes even more when you look at it between species. Presumably this evolved to allow species to feed without feeling too much remorse. When humans start feeling empathy for other races and other species, it is a product of having learned their similarities. But empathy itself is inherent and very closely linked to 'love'.
      I agree that no-one is selfless and ultimately it is brain chemistry that drives us. But the closest we can get to selflessness is putting the needs of others before our own, in the hope that selflessness is reciprocated (I suppose this is what a social community is). Another thing that could drive selfless behaviour is the belief that behaving in a proper way is rewarded by some arbitrary overseer. Perhaps this is why overt selfishness is increasing in the world - because of the way society is structured, empathy is disadvantageous to success. This is society-driven psychopathy rather than an inherent lack of empathy (as you believe). I suppose this is where Jesus came from a philosophical standpoint: the god of this world is the Devil.

  • @elit3chemist958
    @elit3chemist958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dr. Grande you're just pure gold to the community.

  • @paganhammer7623
    @paganhammer7623 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I would love to see a video where you bring up the subject of the similarity between C-PTSD and Avoidant Personality Disorder, and if they are somehow linked

  • @ZombieMannequinRobotStatue
    @ZombieMannequinRobotStatue ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I can relate to both pathological love and pathological jealousy. I think I flip flop between the two depending on what's happening in the relationship. I really dislike this aspect of myself and I want so badly to overcome these feelings. I am always fine in the beginning...I can control these feelings.. but once the other person expresses love for me, I panic because I know that it's just a matter of time and I'm going to become pathological 🥺

    • @Francisco23997
      @Francisco23997 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel you, I really hope there's a way out of that.

  • @Adara007
    @Adara007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you once again for another excellent video regarding an important matter and examining it from an analytical perspective with reference to scientific studies and their findings. As an INTJ, I really appreciate your logical approach to various psychological matters and you've become the channel I always go to when I receive notification of a new video. Lately, you've been on fire and your different subject matters, from DID to David Icke, and your analysis of these are very interesting. This video is no exception. The similarities between addictive behaviours and pathological love is not surprising and they're both unattractive traits. Thank you again for another excellent analysis. Stay safe and healthy, Dr. Grande!

  • @nunoshkazolansky4107
    @nunoshkazolansky4107 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Jealousy is real sickening and a true disaster, I was engaged in the past to a man who was extremely jealous and couldn't take the fact that I no longer want to be with him, and had at the time a future husband that I wanted to be with. It's a true nightmare to be targeted with someone like that.. and you cannot escape their stalking or psychopathy.

  • @g99se9
    @g99se9 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I have a pathological love with my wife. For 26 years.

  • @reneemarieful
    @reneemarieful 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This is great ! Yes I’ve come off heroin . I’d choose that than detoxing off a relationship anytime . The love thing can take years to rid

    • @SugaryPhoenixxx
      @SugaryPhoenixxx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same. Heroin WD is easier. Love hurts. I feel like I will be forever alone.

    • @kathryncarter6143
      @kathryncarter6143 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Now that's a statement!!!

  • @mayrawellington1130
    @mayrawellington1130 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was so well presented and explained. Thank you Dr. Grande!🌹❤️🌹

  • @trulydisappointed5142
    @trulydisappointed5142 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    hi Dr! Would you ever consider doing a video on executive functions and how they're related to personality pathology and/or trauma?

  • @caseyw.6550
    @caseyw.6550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Really interesting the comparison of pathological love to addiction. The first guy I "dated" after I got sober turned into a pathological love situation. I had never been that way before with any previous romantic interests. But it was like when I got clean, I was in such a vulnerable place and kinda swapped out my addiction to drugs out for an addiction to this person. I have been clean for 4 years now and no longer crave my drug of choice. Only now I'm still struggling to fully let go of my addiction to this man 2 years after meeting him and in spite of the fact that we were never in any kind of meaningful relationship and haven't been in contact for nearly 6 months. I think I'm finally understanding why this has been such a problem for me, because for the life of me I could not understand why I can't get over him. It's been very frustrating...but I'm getting better the longer I have been "clean" from him....just the same as when I stopped using.

  • @nikkikidd8428
    @nikkikidd8428 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ok wow it’s so interesting to identify behaviour I exhibit and how I have been able to lie to myself in order to continue in relationships that were harmful to myself and my partners. Not exactly happy with realizing how dysfunctional I have been but at least I can make the decision to work on appropriate areas and then possibly become happier in the long term. Thank you dr g!

  • @pocoeagle2
    @pocoeagle2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A very good and interesting video Dr. Grande. I really enjoyed it again! Thanks and take care doc 😃🇳🇱

  • @theartoflanguage3429
    @theartoflanguage3429 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love how you chose to not put an ad in the beginning of your videos, I dont know if you are monetized or not, but I know youtubers have a choice as to where to put them- but I LIKE that a lot, nice to get right into it :)

  • @Bar_Bar27
    @Bar_Bar27 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    what about pathological jealousy and love (love bombing, future faking and creation of desperation) that some narcissists and psychopaths on purpose cause to their partners by manipulating, lying and projection (projective identification)?
    is there any study about this thing they do? and why do they do this? and is it still pathological jealousy/love if it has been created by manipulation and mind games?

  • @auset808
    @auset808 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you - that was very informative- makes sense, as love can be complicated- if we allow it.

  • @dianamarie5663
    @dianamarie5663 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I appreciate the way you offer your opinion but invite, not challenge others to weigh in.

  • @qiuwbr091
    @qiuwbr091 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr. Grande; At times like these (when people are having family losses) we need you the most. Facing the death of someone who hasn’t - for - whatever jealousy - been forgiven- is really tough without it. You are such a mensch! BTW- what is a process addiction? ( You see; Government mules ‘can’ learn.)

  • @nikolozesitashvili6063
    @nikolozesitashvili6063 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Dr. Grande! Excellent video! Loved it! Dr. Grande, can you talk about the similarities and differences between pathological love/jealousy as it relates to the relationship between lovers and friends? Thank you!!!

  • @kimmymachelleconnors9787
    @kimmymachelleconnors9787 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was with someone who was jealous it was flattering at first it was at that time in my life I learned that stalking is real you never really know about it till it happens to you.i also learned people don't know to help.I learned you have to take care of youself.

  • @juliegarceau5414
    @juliegarceau5414 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So interesting! Well documented and well presented. Thanks! 🙂

  • @chadmichael_
    @chadmichael_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Damn, I feel personally attacked lol.

  • @Nataleigh0997
    @Nataleigh0997 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr. Grande for providing this information. It is so valuable and informative. I really appreciate the time you take to make these videos. Your clinical expertise is extremely valuable and I have learned much!

  • @kevinkascolinkeithtimghera4305
    @kevinkascolinkeithtimghera4305 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This sis brilliant. I think I have a touch of both, after a lifetime of narc abuse. Too many abandonements after cheating.

  • @TheRocknrollmaniac
    @TheRocknrollmaniac 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think that psychoanalysis has a lot to say about the distinction between jealousy and envy. Envy is about discrepancy between how we want to be and how we really are. Jealousy is about not having something that we want. The distinction is, finally, parallel to distinction between narcissism and object love- here Kohut's axiom comes to mind, the opposite of narcissism is not the object relation, but object love.

  • @evalsoftserver
    @evalsoftserver 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This man knows how to Break things down

  • @blazefairchild465
    @blazefairchild465 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you Dr.Grande this video was very informative. Could you speak on how this type of pathology can effect relationships when the jealousy is for the step children. I have a close friend who has been in 4 live in Long term relationships, they all ended because she was upset at the" time" her partners spent with their children on every other weekend visitations. She has 1 child who is her world, but can't treat other children with the same kindness. She continues this same pattern now for 20 years, she dates single dads but is enraged at anytime she looses to "his "kids. She demands to attend parent teacher meetings , yet has never participated as a step mother ,but wants everyone to know who she is. I think personally ,she has lost so much because of her jealousy. She would perhaps be married by now if she could be a normal person , and treat her partners , children as a nice bonus to the relationship.

  • @bracemebraceme9233
    @bracemebraceme9233 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ok, I didn't expect avoidant attachment to have pathological jealousy.

  • @evelynwaugh4053
    @evelynwaugh4053 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Dr. Grande, off topic, but adding to the list of requested fictional characters for you to diagnose: Schitts Creek, an adorable show on Netflix about a filthy rich family that becomes poor overnight and is forced to retreat to their only asset, a very rundown motel in a podunk town.

  • @tiryaclearsong421
    @tiryaclearsong421 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This was fascinating!
    Would you look into the Diane Schuler/Wrong way Taconic tragedy? I live in a family of alcoholics and I just can't wrap my head around what someone might be thinking to drive with little kids for four hours while getting drunk and high.

    • @xquetzalo
      @xquetzalo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes! I'd like to see him unpack that.
      So much denial. And perfectionism.

  • @MemuSnow
    @MemuSnow 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Having spouse who displays delusions of infidelity towards me under the umbrella of narcissistic behaviour patterns makes life difficult for me. I have spent hundreds of hours learning about surviving narcissistic abuse but none of the professionals discuss othello syndrome within the context of narcissism.
    I would very much appreciate you discussing delusional jealousy displayed by narcissistic individuals.

  • @franmellor9843
    @franmellor9843 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great question..food for thought !

  • @keithbrunson7190
    @keithbrunson7190 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    An excellent analysis of which I related to and have personally experienced

  • @YourPartnerInCrime
    @YourPartnerInCrime 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Cool video! I learned a lot and feel it’s useful information to have. Thanks!

  • @KnighteMinistriez
    @KnighteMinistriez 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great video, I liked it. I learned a lot. Keep up the good work.

  • @DaysofOurLives2005
    @DaysofOurLives2005 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great informative video, thank you! I dealt with a boyfriend who was pathologically jealous; I suspect he had narcissistic personality disorder because he exhibited many of those traits as well. I would get accused of cheating multiple times a week, sometimes everyday. He did not discriminate in who he accused me of cheating with, any man I had on social media or had any contact with, even family members. Spam texts and phone calls asking where I am and what I’m doing followed by hate messages for not answering fast enough. He unadded and blocked hundreds of men off of my social media accounts and even forbid me from going to work on multiple occasions because I had male coworkers.

  • @angelahamon6730
    @angelahamon6730 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Well that explanation works a lot better than stating "this person is clingy"

  • @Rickshaw_Bohammer
    @Rickshaw_Bohammer 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It’s difficult when your wife is accusing you of something terrible that never happened. When I ask her how I can help her feel more comfortable or safe, I am bombarded with questions about “the truth” and “you have to tell me, I know what’s true.”
    I love my wife. I’m going to stay by her side but I don’t know how to cope with her paranoid delusions. Currently she is admitted inpatient psych.

  • @Chad_Fuckhammer
    @Chad_Fuckhammer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To me loving till it hurts means only devalue those who devalue you. I don`t love people who treat people like trash. It`s learning to walk away from those people. Judge me and I`ll judge you back. Show me my boundaries don`t exist in your world and I`ll start avoiding you. Yes, love enough to turn the other cheek, but remember you only have two cheeks, not infinite ones. Pathological love is turning the cheek as if you have a million faces with two million cheeks, not one face with two.

  • @serdoubleyou6239
    @serdoubleyou6239 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Could you help us understand why psychology and philosophy are not part of school curriculums at a younger age? Roughly 5 to 10 years old does not seem unreasonable to me but I am not educated enough to understand this. Thank you Dr. Grande, you are my hero on many levels.

    • @rimmalikover9724
      @rimmalikover9724 ปีที่แล้ว

      Younger children don't understand sarcastic and cynical sense of humor..thats why.
      High school level courses Ethics, Asthetics, Anatomy
      I believe 13-14 is when you are enrolled in a Sociology class..Intro-Psychology class comes afterwards. Child Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, and Criminology are College Level Courses! Those books are as thick as horses back 😅

  • @christopherramos5690
    @christopherramos5690 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    " Love is a dog from hell " Charles bukowski.

  • @Olamicus
    @Olamicus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Can they switch frequently between pathological love and pathological jealousy?

  • @williammg9135
    @williammg9135 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hi Dr Grande, thank you for the videos.
    Have you done a video on what I would describe as the "expert in the room"? The individual who always has an educated opinion and is always willing to share it - in great detail - although sometimes the opinion is wrong and not founded in practice or experience?
    Thank you again.

  • @JosyPoetry
    @JosyPoetry 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Very interesting video, as always. I'm curious, what are your thoughts on how such constructs may relate to something like erotomania?

  • @ghostoarfish5113
    @ghostoarfish5113 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Always give a like to this informative objective channel

  • @kriskris4214
    @kriskris4214 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dear Dr. Grande. Would you mind sharing your insights about Retroactive jealousy OCD? 🙏Thank you very much. Keep your great work going!

  • @mr.vargas5648
    @mr.vargas5648 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I cant truly love someone if they dont love me back. I can fell in love with a person for no obvious reason.

  • @HC-sb5ck
    @HC-sb5ck 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m very submissive and insecure so an extremely jealous, sadistic girlfriend is my literal dream.

  • @f.p.r.2658
    @f.p.r.2658 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dear Dr. Grande,
    has the research linked pathological jealousy to perfectionism at all? I have BPD and I personally don't care for manipulation or domination of my partner, but I am pathologically jealous of their past because I experience extreme discomfort when I reflect on the negativity and abuse that some of my partners have experienced in past relationships. I have a feeling this is tied to my perfectionism and general unforgivingness of people when they aren't precisely as I would want them to be.
    Thank you in advance should you find the time to reply and thank you so much for the high-quality content you bless us with.
    Looking forward to all future uploads,
    P.

    • @Matheus16905
      @Matheus16905 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have already been pathologically jealous over "small" things, like, literally, the fact that my ex didn't swallowed my cum. Then I thought "oh, her exes cummed in her mouth and she swallowed and mine she doesn't wanna do that". And the fact that she was already beaten by an ex. And I obsessed over this kind of sexual-esque things.
      Not a diagnosed borderline here, but someone who has borderline features.

  • @lesley8325
    @lesley8325 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am getting this confused with Delusional disorder of jealousy. How is it a different thing from pathological love?

  • @janetones6221
    @janetones6221 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Attachment disorders? Jealousy shows fear of abandonment from an early developmental stage of childhood. Is therapy successful?

  • @luminousfaedust
    @luminousfaedust 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The more I watch your channel, the more I see a lot of these patterns from my childhood, and while I'm not a professional I can't help but wonder if my half-sister is cluster B and was misdiagnosed as bipolar. This video in opinion struck hard. I didn't cut off my family until 2ish years ago, and sometimes I wish I woulda stuck by my conviction when I left high school instead of giving back in to these behaviors...
    Speaking of behaviors, I'm sorry if you already did a video on this and I haven't watched it yet, but I was wondering if there's any correlation between ADHD, Emotional Dysregulation, Affective Instability, Cluster B behaviors, and age of treatment. such as when symptoms first show, vs teenage, vs 30s kind of thing. One thing that keeps coming up while I'm doing my research paper is stories of women with ADHD being misdiagnosed as BPD.

  • @JoyFay
    @JoyFay 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Can a person show signs of pathological jealousy from a very young age, like 8 years old and don’t grow out of it even as full grown adults?

    • @rimmalikover9724
      @rimmalikover9724 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes. If you get raped by a relative, but not killed in the process of it.

  • @nicholasmitchell8749
    @nicholasmitchell8749 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No need to bring Love into it. Love has already been distorted beyond recognition without also using it in pathological terms. Love is generated intrinsically by accepting yourself and others as they are beneath the personae.
    I think your referring to the external seeking of what has been abandoned within the individual?

  • @19katsandcounting
    @19katsandcounting 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Absolute torture ...

  • @LateMarch3
    @LateMarch3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr. Grande, would you consider doing a video on elite athletes and the relationship (if there is one) between high levels of competitiveness and mental health issues? Stories of selfishness and "pathological" competitiveness about people like Michael Jordan are common . There was some survey of Olympic silver medal winners that asked if they would change their silver medal to a gold medal if it meant only having 4 years left to live. Most of them said yes.

  • @andreaturnquist4855
    @andreaturnquist4855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you! Any chance you could do a video on empaths and narcs?

  • @angelavore8577
    @angelavore8577 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How about suggesting more self care for pathological lovers

  • @wizzardofpaws2420
    @wizzardofpaws2420 ปีที่แล้ว

    Many of us have had that person with these disorders in our life. It's scary stuff as they become dangerous when you don't want to be around them any more. They become controlling, stalkers, and even murder their love obsession.

  • @t5396
    @t5396 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks Doctor!

  • @JesusSavedMeFromASuicideAtempt
    @JesusSavedMeFromASuicideAtempt ปีที่แล้ว

    Needyness Scairs women away…I learned this painfully from being that way in my last two relationships…

  • @NurseHarley299
    @NurseHarley299 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is it possible to have both pathological love and jealousy ? My previous relationship was a complete mess and my mental and physical health suffered greatly. I could see his was also being affected but he seemed to "lie" or pretend things weren't as bad as they were. He would do both behaviours. At times he was be very physically and emotionally distant and withdrawn and wouldnt communicate with me what the issue was. But then there would also be times where he felt me pulling away and he almost became smothering. I remember him clinging to my arm while i was working on my computer and i felt like i was a tree and he was a monkey hanging from me. Now that we're broken up he still tries to contact me and seems to manipulate situations so he can either see me in person or talk to me on the phone. He knows I hate phone calls and prefer texts but because he doesnt like texting he refuses to talk unless it's over the phone.
    I'm trying to keep him on as a friend but he's still sucking the life out of me even though we barely talk or see each other.
    Edit: Oooooh mania love.... seems pretty accurate. He couldnt stick to anything and would change his mind within a minute. Plus hed get alot of obsessions and then quickly drop that and go to another different obsession.

  • @toniidowu6301
    @toniidowu6301 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks Dr Grande♥️

  • @bigballs3095
    @bigballs3095 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Crap I definitely got a pathological love problem great I’m still certain im some kind of cluster B though. But i could always be wrong to.

  • @jjarichardson
    @jjarichardson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Could Dr Grande do a video on the Zodiac Killer? The Zodiac is an unidentified serial killer but personality traits might be detected in his taunting and threatening communications to the press.

  • @rejaneoliveira5019
    @rejaneoliveira5019 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hello Dr. Grande,
    I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on the following topic- “Romantic relationships and social isolation due to Coronavirus.”
    I think the pandemic has affected the dating arena and also long term relationships like marriages.

    • @LuciaInman
      @LuciaInman 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I remember my pastor saying once that people argue the most when they're on vacation because they spend a lot of time together. So, in a way, the lockdown from Coronavirus has a similar impact for people who live together like married couples. My husband and I rarely ever argue and that doesn't change when we're on vacation. We're used to spending a lot time together, see each other at work and don't go out a ton, but we're pretty good at giving each other space and each one is always busy working on our own projects. I think the key is to find a balance. He's INTP and I'm INTJ so that explains why we get along well too. Our life hasn't changed a ton atm, but I'd imagine that this is very different for other people. I'd like to hear about other people's experiences. This outbreak has caused chaos in many different ways. An interesting topic for sure.

  • @taweya9633
    @taweya9633 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is being loyal or grateful pathological love?

  • @ridleyroid9060
    @ridleyroid9060 ปีที่แล้ว

    I view jealousy as a huge source of my mental anguish, I have been alone and loveless for my entire life, and am extremely jealous, irrationally so. It is a scourge, toxic, completely ruins you.

  • @B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786
    @B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No wonder i haven't seen this yet..Its NEW thought i missed something scrolling..

  • @jenniferloretto5939
    @jenniferloretto5939 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m positive I’ve never been in a love relationship (or any commitment to marriage) that didn’t follow some path of destruction. Most recent being 15 years in length, great working relationship yet we sleep in separate rooms.

  • @sherylmac40
    @sherylmac40 ปีที่แล้ว

    Pathological jealousy ' pathological love thank you for your explanation it makes so much sense

  • @vivianvennicia
    @vivianvennicia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The thing is about these people: They practice nonstop antagonization. EVERYTHING they do is geared towards sucking you down their despair sinkhole. It becomes a vicious cycle of perpetration and protection and it becomes impossible to discern who is the real aggressor. If you don't confront them they get arrogant, and if you do confront them they get off on it. Once they decide they want to make your life miserable they will do anything and everything to make that a reality.

    • @user-sr1kc6jj2b-p1q
      @user-sr1kc6jj2b-p1q 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think you're confusing Cluster B personality disorders with these two behaviours. Pathological jealousy might be part of a Cluster B personality disorder but it also might not. It might be all on its own. Dr Grande also said that pathological love is more likely to be part of a Cluster C disorder, being all about anxiety. Aggression, antagonistism and arrogance are all more likely to be found in Cluster B disorders.

    • @xquetzalo
      @xquetzalo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-sr1kc6jj2b-p1q He also associated Borderline (Cluster B) with pathological love and Narcissistic (also Cluster B) with pathological jealousy so it appears Cluster B has both which isn't surprising. Not a dig, it just isn't a surprise.

  • @candlesstaylit3964
    @candlesstaylit3964 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I don't understand, about 9:00, to 10:00, you say the avoident attachment style was more common in pathological jealousy, then you turn around to mention how in pathological jealousy, it's more common to see an angry style? So is it that pathological jealousy holds alot of both styles and pathological love holds primarily the avoident attachment style, and much lower regards to the angry side of it, I only wander do the pathological lovers also display aggression in that way?

  • @daisy7066
    @daisy7066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    How about pathological ENVY

  • @billhildebrand5053
    @billhildebrand5053 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Comment 42: 121 likes, 4 non. 232k SUBSCRIBERS.
    Comentó 161: 586 likes, 12 non. 233k SUBSCRIBERS. MARCH 27 07:40 am. 7697 views.
    For the record, amazing in time of pandemic this constantly ramps up each day....
    Dr. Grande, I hit the 1,000th view. 😀😄😄. Thanks for the great info. I did not realize so many types of jealousy, and appreciate your breakdown of both love and jealousy with the Cluster A B and C personality disorders.
    I’m thankful we can live life on an even keel, not a Romeo - Juliet behavioural style . Thanks for your great analysis. 😀😀😀🥀

  • @Mom_Luvs_Tech
    @Mom_Luvs_Tech ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Can you talk about retroactive jealousy?

  • @whoever6458
    @whoever6458 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Well that explains at least part of the reason why I'm all fucked up. I do wonder how the autism spectrum may affect some of these things because, when you seem to not be able to communicate with other somehow (no matter how well you learn an official spoken and written language), there is frequent misunderstandings that often lead to unpleasant emotions which leads to people not wanting to be around you because they don't understand you any more than you understand them. A lot of people don't realize how much they communicate non-verbally until they come across someone who is almost completely oblivious to the meaning of such things. As an autistic person, it seems to me that something a person isn't willing to express with words is something they still aren't sure about and therefore they shouldn't get upset with people who fail to read their minds. If it make you upset enough, use your words; if not, you have no one to blame but yourself if other people aren't clued into your thoughts. Now that's not how the world works and it make life pretty discouraging when you can't participate in it fully for lack of being able to accurately read people's minds when they clearly expect you to do so.

  • @FrancesShear
    @FrancesShear 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have 2 questions. My first question: Is the biggest difference between simple romanitc obsession returned and pathological love the presence in a person anxious jealousy towards the other that borders on delusional with the content of their delusions being dependent on their past life experiences? My second question: Could a person with pathological love and anxious jealousy for example become more predisposed to suffering from a kind pathological love and obsessive compulsive trats that from infancy develope more over time after going through a series of life threateing illnesses and injuries as they reached maturity around age 30 leaving them with such a hatred and fear of death in general which leads them to drive other people closest to them to distraction with frustration? Very sad when a young couple in that predicament in love end up leaving one another without going through counselling because they have bought into the idea most that you have to try living together before making any real commitment to one another.

  • @h.b1258
    @h.b1258 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Can you please make a video about olfactory reference syndrome?

  • @RollenJokers
    @RollenJokers 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    so .. Grande, What would this have to do with a temporal construal and an interplay of the retrieval frequency and temporal distance. for an amnesiac(possibly an attribute problem) , i dont find people that put people as A or B Typical, But a telefrenetic eroctic-irony would make sense to more people . im not completely for the Gender fluid issue but i recognize it. (laymans terms : I don't find Sarcasm really necessary, but still see good people, women etc, be Harm related. would this have to do with a Cluster B or am I playing at the wrong hands?)

  • @kevinashcroft2028
    @kevinashcroft2028 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Appreciate your professional experience ; but as a layman I can see that the mind becomes entangled when one chooses to mix up a situation where one has embarked on a marriage to raise ones own children and embarking to float without any children, unmarried.
    The danger-line is not distinguishing between the two

  • @watcherwlc53
    @watcherwlc53 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Surprised the pathological jealousy was not more related to paranoid personality disorder. for the same reasons listed as related to OCD.