Why Should We Dress Modestly? - Fr. Daniel Sysoev Answers
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ส.ค. 2022
- Fr. Daniel Sysoev (+2009) was a priest, husband, father of daughters, confessor, and martyr. His great love for God and his fellow man led him to write many texts and convert many to the Orthodox Faith, including personally baptizing over 80 Muslims. Because of this great missionary fruit, he was murdered by an enraged enemy of Christ in his own mission church. Fr. Daniel is not yet canonized as a Saint but his witness, both before and after his repose, has given the faithful confidence in his holy prayers.
Full Text:
Why should we dress modestly?
Some people tell me that new converts for some reason come to church every week dressed in long skirts, and they ask me why this is necessary. Zeal in the beginning of a person's entry into the Church is something that is absolutely essential. If a person does not begin his spiritual life zealously, he will never end it well. It is simply indispensable, even when it comes to those details that seem unimportant, such as wearing a skirt. But actually it is not an altogether trivial
thing: at times it can be very beneficial for young ladies, if they are habitually flirtatious, to dress in some worn-out skirt; I am sure you will agree that this produces an entirely different feeling. Some find it useful to dress in loose, unfitted jackets for this very same reason: a person has been accustomed to wearing fine clothes. This in and of itself is not virtue: it is a method for overcoming one's passions. If we see it this way then, naturally, everything will be fine.
That being said, when we go to church we should try to dress nicely but not provocatively, because we must go to the house of God as if to a feast. But nevertheless, the outward, ritualistic side of the Church, which people ridicule today, has a real, spiritual significance. It is not about the clothes themselves, but about the heart of the person who dresses up for these reasons. When a person dresses like a peacock, that is one state of soul; and it is another state of soul when a person dresses simply. Eventually a person should arrive at a normal state of soul, when he will be indifferent to what he is wearing: if the clothes are clean--glory to God. Being a new convert has its advantages, but it must grow into wisdom; not lukewarmness, as many think, but into wisdom. One should not wear pants to church, but we are lenient with women in that regard. In Deuteronomy it forbids women to dress in men's clothing and men to dress in women's clothing: The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God (Deut. 22:5).
If a man came to church dressed as a woman he would be thrown out, and rightly so. Clothing must convey the difference in gender. I think that for our climate--and this is my personal opinion--we should have Orthodox fashion designers. For the winter there should be an outfit made from pants and a skirt--both at once--so that no one freezes. This would be a marvelous solution. It would be very beautiful and remarkable. It would convey femininity, and on the other hand it would keep women from freezing in their pantyhose.
Turning aside to the left is lukewarmness. ’We are not like those fanatics--we are forward-thinking people, so we know everything. Your prohibitions are all nonsense.’ But, as the apostle Paul said, you have knowledge, but because of this knowledge of yours your brother, for whom Christ died, is perishing. What answer will you give? You say you know that clothing is unimportant, and that you will go to church in pants as a form of demonstration. Fr. Andrei Kuraev explained that women's pants are permitted. Theoretically, women's pants convey the feminine nature, etc. But in reality, it causes temptation for the men or women in church. This is not good. It is a violation of the will of God. You are tempting those for whom Christ died, and this is wrong. It is an expression of enmity. It is a question of love or enmity towards one's neighbor.
-from “Questions to Priest Daniel Sysoev” mission-shop.com/product/ques...
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We are all so easily tempted by our personal passions. It is best to not make things harder for each other. Modesty is just one of the many ways of helping others. This has been a struggle for me because vanity has been one of my worst passions since I was a little girl. For me I have to dress very modestly and simply or I fall into vanity and wishing for the admiration of others. Which in reality is asking to be worshipped in a sense, trying to steal people's attention away from where it should be: on God, prayer, family, and good works. For me my vanity was so bad I had to react in an "extreme" way. I now only wear loose fitting simple t shirts and long home made skirts. Not because I am more moral than others. Very much the opposite. Because I am combatting my passions.
Hey sis! Me too! 🙏🏼
Yes I understand, even though that has not been my issue. Maybe in time the tend towards vanity in your soul will mellow out by dressing plain. I dress plain as well but mostly because I can relax and not worry about ripping or spilling on expensive clothes, because I have been in that situation.
Thank you for sharing this. I feel the same way. Knowing I’m not alone in this thinking is a relief. God Bless.
I am a new convert and I have always wore a long skirt or a dress and a scarf to cover my head. I only wear leggings in the winter under long skirts
And I feel good with a scarf because it makes me feel closer to the Theotokos!
It is such a blessing (and a special opportunity for humility) to go into Church with a covered head and in modest dress and to be alone with God even among people, rather than having to be concerned with hair, body, etc. From the time I was a very small child, people would come and touch my hair and talk about my hair, and I understood from a young age that people were attracted to my hair and my looks rather than my inner self. I am so grateful to God that I can stand in Church with my head covered and would do so everywhere if it wasn't weird for other people and attention-drawing. I do put my hair back and wear wide cloth headbands so that I can be somewhat modest in the world. Wearing jeans outside of Church is a little harder to overcome but I'm working on it.
Grow your hair long and put it in a braid then double it over so it hangs as a loop. That's what I do because it keeps people from ogling my hair and is easy.
I always wear skirts to church, have to remember to cover my head too, there is need for this talk in churches, I see alot of inappropriately dressed women, Father Daniel pray for me, that my soul be saved!☦🕯🙏♥️🌹
Yes about the head cover for church. I think we are still called to do it.
@@rg1whiteywins598 Definitely!
As a member of an OCA parish, my priest seems to be fighting a losing battle on this front. The last time he posted about it in our email group, someone actually stole the sign posted in the entryway of our church that requests that women and men dress modestly! However, at the local ROCOR parish, a woman will not receive Holy Communion if she is not dressed in a skirt and head scarf. I admit to being selfish and lazy in regards to dressing appropriately for Church. I have worn jeans and t-shirts all my life because they are comfortable. But the longer I am Orthodox, the more I have come to understand and respect the traditions of the faith and try to observe them.
I think if we are honest, almost none of us have the mindset to manifest modesty. It’s a real battle and I’m very sympathetic to priests who desire to see more modesty but struggle to actually promote it effectively. Seems very difficult. It seems that platforms like this channel can help reach some people that signs in narthex may not be able to. I certainly hope those signs stay up, however, and are clearly written. Thank God for His mercy on all of us who struggle and fail at being modest.
"I have a single burning desire: To change the world by changing one person -- Myself."
St Sophrony
He undoubtedly did that. Thank you.
@@maximos3207 absolutely!
Church is only a few hours per week. We will survive it. I'm not fond of skirts either.
If we wear veils in Church, why stop wearing it outside of Church?
When I think of childhood memories, my mum regularly wore a headscarf. She had various different ones. She always wore skirts and dresses and we were dressed likewise (no headscarves though). We were discouraged from wearing jeans. I realized gradually that I was not fitting in with my peers. Over the years I have varied my dress, wear leggings but rarely jeans. I am learning about Orthodoxy, and will be happy to come to church dressed modestly and appropriately. Thank you for this post.
Glory to God
Why did women STOP wearing headcovering & modest clothes? Seems to result from 20th Century feminist movements. See interesting St Paisios of Mt Athos observations in "External appearance/Internal Disorder" (Vasileia Yt channel). So many practical possibilities to counter the obstacles - my fave being Macabi adventure skirts that have clips to make them into "harem" pants or baggy shorts while working on our little farm. Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me a sinner 💖🙏
It has been said men are more tempted through their eyes and women tend to be tempted more through their ears. Clothing can be too sparse which reveals flesh, too tight which reveals form, or perhaps both. Men need not dress up in top hat, swallow tails and spats which is pride as in "look at the clothes I can afford," but should at least have trousers, not shorts, and a long sleeve shirt. Women might think of the Theotokos and how she dressed, and all of us might consider the amount of covering the men and women both wore in those times. Thank you much!
You've stated that man dress for status more than a woman's eye, but then shouldn't wear shorts.
The status of shorts is generally considered less than that of trousers, but the reason for shorts is generally temperature control.
So my question is what is wrong with dress, (ie. Not sports) shorts?
@@jamesbailand4311 I can not explain this better than St. Nicodemos the Hagiorite in his book "Christian Morality." I might "dress to the nines" out of pride, or to attract women, or both simultaneously. Having been in uniform so long I know some women can think "the clothes make the man." I did not intend to say shorts are always inappropriate attire for men, however, my mind was on going into the church in shorts. "And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment: So he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'" [St. Matthew 22:11-13] I have never attended a wedding in shorts, nor do I enter the church in them. The common practice for a wedding guest does not seem to me too extreme for the Divine Liturgy. The Bedouins have lived in hot, desert-like environs for generations and wear quite a bit of clothing. In the county in which I reside there is a "dress code" posted on the outside of the courtroom doors. Men in shorts are forbidden entrance. Thank you very much.
@@danlather3046 I think the wedding garment is the Holy Spirit and love for others, not clothes.
@@rg1whiteywins598 I am most certainly not in the same league as the Great Fathers and Holy Saints on this matter. One understanding is not putting on one's "Sunday Best," or as some say their "Sunday Go To Meeting Clothes," when it is possible to do so is indicative of an attitude or deportment of being excessively nonchalant or all too casual re decorum considering God and His House. A blue collar worker who attends on his way to work, especially on a weekday, may have no choice. The best clothing of the poor may be most humble attire. Fortunately for those of us who do have a choice, I can show respect for God and His House by dressing myself in a manner a bit better than when going to the department store. But another understanding re the Wedding Feast is to consider it the Eucharist. St. Paul warns of receiving unworthily. The wedding garment then becomes the state of my soul. I sin and if I said I did not sin I would be, as St. John the Theologian wrote, a liar. Should I receive the Eucharist without prior Confession that can be understood as receiving unworthily. My garment was stained when I could have had it cleansed. Being like the Publican seeking mercy and forgiveness, and hoping to humble myself and show contrition before the Judge, that He may be inclined to grant me forgiveness, I will show respect for Him and His Courtroom. I love others when I do not act in a way to distract them in the Church. Thank you very much.
So important. Thank you for this!
When I read Fr Daniel's idea of wearing pants under a skirt, as a man, I wondered the same thing--wouldn't this be way better during the winter? I presume that pants under a skirt makes the skirt look bad, which would be why women don't like it.
This really makes me wonder why people care so much about how they look, but I digress.
I have seen many women do this before entering the Holy Virgin Cathedral in San Francisco where the relics of Saint John Maximovich reside, but most are tourists from Eastern Europe. I did this myself when I went to visit Saint Anthony's Monastery in Arizona. They have a very strict dress code there and have boxes of loose clothing for guests to put on before entering. They even asked me to wear a loose long sleeve shirt over my fleece jacket because they felt it was too form fitting. That surprised me actually. But the longer I am Orthodox, the more I have come to understand and respect the traditions and try to observe them.
@@EsmeeLaFleur Jordanville is similar
@@OrthodoxChristianTheology ROCOR parish in my area is also more observant of traditions.
I wear exercise pants that stop below the knee under my dresses. I actually feel more modest with these on in case the wind blows or my child pulls on my skirt. Women throughout history wore layers like this. Now with stretchy exercise pants it's really not an issue of being bulky like jeans would be. Obviously in really cold climates, the pants should be long. Amazon has some modest dresses. I got one dress for $14 on sale. The brand is YesNo. If any women question head covering, they should just look at the icons of the women Saints and the Theotokos. If you like a veil for a wedding, why not for divine liturgy? It's beautiful! It makes me feel more humble and almost more holy since I'm imitating the holy women and it's good for my soul.
Indian salwaar kameez. Dress with matching pants under it. Most modest clothing on Earth.
I (male) tend to overheat a lot including sometimes in Church, especially if crowded or if the heating is on. Is it ok to wear short sleeves or should I insist on long sleeves even if it makes me pour with sweat? Also, outside of church I assume short sleeves are fine?
Everything worn in biblical times was akin to a dress. Men's were shorter for working and women's were longer for modesty. But now pants are for everyone. And women are often required to do physical work like mowing the lawn, limbing trees and shoveling snow. These activities are best done wearing pants or modest shorts. There are many gender neutral clothes these days just like cloaks in biblical times. That Scripture I believe refers to women not showing legs and men not being effeminate. Paul tells women only to be modest and not flashy since different cultures wore different types of clothes. We can go overboard trying to out modest each other too. I try to cover all that needs covering and keep the fit loose even though I am as straight as a stick as it pertains to my shape. There are clothes that are for individual purposes. You don't wear the same thing to swimming pool as you wear to the grocery store, nor vise versa. We can't get hung up on clothes. It leads to judging other people, which is not loving them. I buy t shirts and sweaters in boys department because I have no curves and women's tops look ridiculous on me sagging and bagging in the chest area. Let's not focus on this please. All I know is like what we eat or don't eat it doesn't make us more kind or loving. Amen.
It sounds like you already have a much higher awareness and value for modesty than some. And of course the nuanced approach, in general, you speak of is referred to in this video. Fr. Daniel says that clothes are not what matters most, but also that clothes do affect us and reflect to a degree our inner disposition. This video was made in part because some men and women do need to be more mindful of what they wear and to avoid the extremes, seeking not carelessness or super-correctness, but wisdom and love.
@@OrthodoxWisdom no kidding about modesty. That should be something that kids learn at home from a young age. And I am also starting to think that for church we need to wear a head cover because nothing really negates that. But not all the time as Muslim women do.
Very well said but could have used a lot more scripture references
Is that verse not the law of moses/levitical therefore not enforced due to christs sacrifice and fulfillment of the law? What exact laws are still used.
This drives me crazy. We are blaming women for how men react to them. Didn't Christ say to pluck out your eyes if they cause you to sin? As a woman its like I have to take extra steps to experience God.
If a man dressed in a seductive or provocative way, and then began dressing more modestly, would you be appreciative?
@@OrthodoxWisdom To be honest, I don't care what he wears. Not my body, not my business
@emilylloyd1684 I’ll just say one more thing, as I dont want to argue with you. I think the saints show us, with this issue and others, how to fulfill the Lord’s command “Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.” This is the philotimo that St. Paisios talks about.
Where in Deuteronomy...I couldn't find it
Deuteronomy 22:5
Are baggy pants for women okay? How about a large sweater that hangs low with pants?
That’s more modest that a short, tight dress!
@@OrthodoxWisdom Ahaha! Okay, btw I love your stuff I listen to you guys on Spotify as well :)
How do pants on women cause temptation?
If they are especially form fitting. Then they are like leggings with pockets.
@@banhammer3904 That's just a type of pants not pants in general. There are also dreses that are not appropriate too.
@@OrthodoxWisdom and that looks gross to other women.😅
@@banhammer3904 yup. Gross 🤢.