In some western cultures, knives are regarded as an ominous gift. Of course it is a silly superstitition, but some people like my sister are serious about it. They believe that it would ”cut“ good relationships. And to avoid it, these people give back a little amount of money if they receive knives as a gift. I am from French Canada and I dont know if that tradition is French or American or both.
I would just add that when you give Chinese people gifts (at least when you go to their house) they will not open them, but instead will hide it haha. The first time I brought a gift to a Chinese person this was very strange and I thought maybe they didn't care about it, but it's actually that it's considered rude/greedy to open a gift in front of the giver. Great video!
@@matstan3515 Americans would usually open it right away to show the giver that the gift is appreciated. The thing we would consider equivalently rude would be to act disappointed with what you receive, even if you hate it. It seems to me like all of us are just trying to avoid offending the giver if we don't like the gift, even though we are doing it in different ways.
I am not surprised: its a way of looking at oneself, she gives you an opportunity to get an insight into yourself... (Our frame of mind is defined by language....)
In Italy we say that is bad luck to gift anything "cutting" or "piercing", as they could cut or damage the friendship, so even a broche could be an issue, or handkerchiefs, as you need them when you cry. The antidote is "selling them", or asking the person who receive them to pay you back a small coin. For the piercing/cutting things there is another way (but this is less common): the person getting the gift should prick a finger with the item, so "the hurt is done" and it is not a problem anymore...
When the girl said she gave her teacher a clock and the friend said, "oh, looks like you won't be graduating!" I had to pause and laugh. Even their facial expressions were spot on. Thanks for the video!
Here in 菲律賓, these are the gift giving taboos I know. 1. Shoes: Same with you that giving that to a person especially a lover means he/she will leave you. 2. Handkerchief - giving that to a person/lover means he will make you cry. 3. Wallet - when giving wallet, you should put at least a small amount of money. I don't know why. Also, you mentioned red envelope(紅包) right? Here, I was taught when giving, the pieces of money inside should be odd so that it will find its pair. So more money will come lol 😂
Wow I didn’t know these gift giving taboos in 菲律賓！Thanks for sharing! Maybe an empty wallet is a sign of poverty so people don’t like it? I’m just guessing :P
In the netherlands, it is commonly considered rude to give money to someone. This is more accepted among younger generations, but it's still uncomfortable because your gift is very quantifyable. Additionally, it is considered weird to give gifts to your friends' of SO's parents, or to give a gift in business culture. Only during winter festivities (sinterklaas and christmas mainly), weddings or birthdays is gifting normal. It is however expected to bring something to eat or drink when you're invited to a non-birthday party, as it is not the task of the host to take care of food unless specified otherwise.
I'm from Germany and I remember my mom making me give her 5 cents when she gifted me my first pocket knife as a child. Because gifting knives is a symbol for cutting or breaking a relationship. So i guess the transaction workaround is the same as in Chinese culture ^^
Half of my family is Hungarian, so we had certain rules we had to obey. For gifts, Our good gifts include high-quality chocolates, flowers or liquor. Flowers should be given in odd numbers, excluding the number 13 (which is considered to be an unlucky number). And gifts are usually opened when received, its rude to hide them, or not open them. My mom told me it makes the gift giver feel like their gift is not worth opening in front of them. (These rules aren't for everyone though, some people do different things)
In the US, you can't give people cash, a taboo which I don't think exists in Chinese culture (my Chinese family exchanges 红包 with other Chinese people all the time). I guess the American interpretation of receiving cash is that the giver is saying that you are struggling and could use the cash, and financial matters are quite private and taboo in America. Also, some people think the giver was not thoughtful enough to choose a gift. That's part of the reason why gift cards exist, so that you can give someone money without giving them cash.
That's not true! I've gotten many cash gifts, seen others receiving cash gifts, given cash gifts, etc. It's not a taboo, you CAN give a cash gift. It is considered a little less thoughtful than picking something out for someone, but that is not the same as a taboo - not the same as the types of gifts she's talking about.
@@AdeleiTeillana In Black American families Giving money means that person either doesn't know you well or just didn't want to take the time to find out what you like or wanted it's a Taboo, unthoughtful, crass, unless the giver lives far away or is unable to get a real gift. but this can change/be acceptable in certain cases like graduations
@@AdeleiTeillana well, im not sure we have "taboos", americans try to avoid looking superstitious, but its considered poor form, a gift should indicate some familiarity, cash means i dont know you well. worse if i have a better job, then i'm calling you poor. even a gift card, which is cash but less useful, is considered better because it would be for a place that indicates a shared interest. honestly younger americans are fine with cash, its a ceremony thing.
I would not agree with this. I think it depends on who is giving the gift and to whom. For example, in the Northern US, it is very common to give cash gifts to the newlywed couple. It is common to give cash to college students who will need it at school. I will agree that many people believe that if you give cash, you simply didn't take the time to consider what gift a person might like. Additionally, a person can find many gifts to purchase for less than their value. So it would seem like you gave a very expensive gift even if you got it on sale. But if you give cash, there is no hiding the value of the gift. So if you give cash, you want to be sure it is a good amount. Exceptions to this could be cash gifts from grandparents who might not have much income, for example - or a lot of people they need to give gifts. In the US, families are larger, so a grandparent might choose to give a card with cash inside instead of a tangible gift. Then they can give the same amount to every grandchild so there is no comparison about someone being favored or receiving a nicer gift than another grandchild. However, they often will spend money on gifts for them anyway, so money is often viewed as the main gift, and the little other gifts as just something they bought for you. Gift cards are seen as money gifts where people will think you didn't give much thought to the gift. However, I'd rather receive a gift card any day to a place I enjoyed shopping than a tangible gift that I might never use.
In belgium (and france as well I think), whenever you want to give a knife as present to someone, they have to give you some money because a knife cannot be a gift: it is thought that it would cut off the frienship
It amazes me how much you care for people. You are an incredible teacher. Youskill for created videos blows my mind. Thank you so much for your hard work!!~♡
Giving a small coin in exchange for some types of gifts to avoid bad luck is also a practice in some other countries. In France, you're supposed to do it if you're given a knife.
Thank you so much, this video was so interesting! In Italy there are several taboos concerning gifts. Most of them are shared with other European countries, (Sharp or cutting items, empty wallets, umbrellas) but the most peculiar among them is about crysanthemum flowers, an absolute no-no, since we use them on Nov. 2nd to remember our deceased ones. It is also forbidden to give flowers as a gift at a baby's baptism.
My grandma was so wary about Chrysanthemum flowers that she never ever gave them to the deceased she loved, so when she died nobody that knew her gave her those. She was also very picky with the colours, so the flower crowns that were given by family members were very different from those given by coworkers and the such.
In the Philippines ,I remember the similar belief of giving shoes or slippers as a gift...when you recieve a shoes or slippers as a gift always give the person a little amount of money ... We often say" bigyan mo siya ng piso niregaluhan ka ng sapatos"...means..give her/him a 1peso(Ph Currency)because he/she gave you shoes...
Here in Czechia, it is not a good idea to give a woman even number of flowers. It's because even number of flowers is put on graves. I have no ideas about other rules - it rather concerns ethiquete than or superstitions. For example, we should avoid buying too expensive gifts or something obviously inappropriate. Expensive gifts invoke feeling of reciprocity - making other person thinking he should buy next time something expensive too. Also the gifts should not be already gifted items. Visiting someone's birthday party in Czechia often includes unpacking the gifts and nobody should feel ashamed of the gift, scared or even offended. When I talked about the flowers in the start, I should also mention that some especially older people pay attention not only to count of flowers, but also to their colour and kind.
Ooh that’s interesting about the pears. I know a lot of Japanese Koreans family that give those round Asian pears for gifts whenever there’s a family event
Shoes as a gift to a girlfriend/wife since she might run away. Also, you aren’t supposed to buy yourself jewelry with opals (bad luck). Someone has to give it to you as a gift.
Thanks for sharing these with us. Very useful info! However, I do want to add that as Asians are westernized or born in the west, they are not aware of such meanings or simply don't care or not superstitious at all. Anyway it's better to know or else you may look ignorant and/or feel embarrassed doing these things. This video was Grace-fully done!
Chen Jun Guang Hello 俊光! I didn’t know that before! But it makes sense, you were growing up in western cultures so you might not notice these things or people around you don’t care so you will not care as well :P Thanks for letting us know! ;)
Thank you for your video. I'm learning Japanese and you helped me understand why 4 is a bad number. You also showed the Kanji for 4 (san) which I was not familiar with.
Thank you for Word by word Translation. This matches my brain's pattern best. We also dont give shoes and clocks as present. But only for a couple, it means: time is up and walk your way. As a traditional present for catholic Sacrament from a goodfather/mother, we do give a watch at their confirmation ritual.... When I want to give shoes, I also take a little Money, so it is a deal, not a present. In Austria, we rather not give money as present. It's considered to lack of knowing the persons the wishes, and unprepared. If we want to give money, we pack it in a creative peronal Style, related to the person's wish... Or we give a Voucher.
Wow! It was so fascinating to learn about presents in China! Thank you so much!^^ I didn't know these nuances before. Personally I'm Ukrainian, and we don't have any restrictions for presents here. So I would say, you're never gonna get into an uncomfortable situation because of a particular gift.
Anastasia - Recently I heard about a wonderful Ukrainian tradition connected with Christmas - something to do with a bare Christmas tree and spiders webs turning into tinsel? you probably know the one I mean
Thank you for sharing Grace! but I checked with my Chinese friend and was told that "绿帽“ isn't the correct way of saying it. She also gave me a few more examples, like "a good boy" in Chinese is 一个好孩子, she said that I cannot say 一个好孩. something like this. Would you let me know how you think of it? Thanks!
Hello, This is a good question! Let me explain it to you, actually using “子” as a suffix to form a noun, in many cases, is necessary. For example “孩子”, “筷子”, “椅子”, “蚊子”. You can’t delete the “子” here. Nevertheless, in many other cases, whether to add “子” is optional. Usually it’s decided by the balance of the syllables of sentence(not compulsory, just a tendency) for example, you can say:”我要鞋子”(I want shoes)(two+two->balanced) but people don’t usually say:”我要鞋”(the sentence here sounds weird because the syllables is not balanced) but it’s okay to say”我要黑鞋”（I want black shoes)(two+two->balanced) And when simply saying the word, people tend to say it completely like”绿帽子” but even if you just say “绿帽” it’s not wrong but to some people it might not sound so natural. However, being in a sentence or combining with other words, it’s totally natural to say “绿帽”, like”戴绿帽” is one of the examples. Hope this information helps!:)
Grace Mandarin Chinese thank you so much for the explanation!! Much appreciated! So, basically Chinese people don’t say 我要鞋 because of the syllables are not balanced, right? What about 我买鞋？like when I am shopping shoes and being asked what do I want to buy. it also sounds weird, right? I should say 我买鞋子？Am I right? I sort of remembered that my teacher taught me like this way. I feel a bit confused. Keep up the great work! 你教学的很好！👍
Zz Z It’s better to say “我要买鞋（子）” or “我想买鞋（子）” in that situation. And just like I said, in some cases, whether to add “子” is optional, so either way is not wrong. People can choose which form they want to use depending on many different factors. And different person might have different preference. I think the best way to get used to these is by listening more to get a sense that which one sounds more natural in that certain context (but most of the time, it fine to say either way) Hope you won’t be so confused after knowing these:D
I already responded to another person's post further down, but I also wanted to say that I don't think we have things that are necessarily "taboo" in the US like this. However, there are a few rules of etiquette that are generally followed. You shouldn't give a "white elephant" gift (meaning giving something to someone that another person gave you). It is considered in poor taste - a bit rude. Or at least if you do so, do it in a way that no one will find out. The exception to that is when you have a party where people intend it to be a "white elephant" gift. Then the rule is that you can *only* give something someone has given you or something you already own. In this way, it puts everyone on the same level - where no one will spend money on a gift. Everyone must give something without spending money. It is intended that the gift giving is not a burden to those who might not have additional funds to simply buy another gift for someone they weren't already going to give a gift. Also, it is in poor taste to return gifts that others have given you. This can be viewed in the show "FRIENDS" when Rachel is known for always returning the gifts people give her because she doesn't like them and wants something different. It is viewed as rude because you should be grateful to have received a gift at all. However, it has also become common for people to give a gift with a "gift receipt" which does not show the total spent, but it shows the store where it was purchased. That way, if the gift is not something they will use, you are giving them grace in-advance to go ahead and return it. When they go to the store, they will scan the tag, and you will know the current value. It might be more or less than what was paid. The person might have purchased it on sale, and it is no longer on sale. So you will receive a greater value for it. Or maybe it's been awhile, and it's now on clearance. Then you will not receive much for it. Gift giving is quite interesting isn't it. When I was in a Native culture, it was rude to refuse a gift or food. So even if you were full, you still had to accept a second helping. The way to avoid it was to leave a little food on your plate, then they would not offer you more. Where in other households, leaving food on the plate would be considered as wasting the food. I think that gift giving is best when it is from the heart and received graciously, regardless of cultural expectations. People cannot always know, but if they have given you a gift, then it's polite to accept it and be gracious.
Hello and thank you for the great video! Do you have any recommendations for presents to a Chinese business partner for the new Chinese year holiday coming next month? Thank you!
THis is an amazing revalation - both that there are so many Chinese words with similar meanings, and that as a result the meaning gets transfered between the inaminate objects. I wonder whether as the Chinese polulation becomes more modernised may be these old fashioned superstitions will pass? I can't think of any inappropriate gifts in UK. (except as someone mentioned below.... if you give a purse oir wallet it is an old custom to put some money in to it. But I don't think people do this much to-day.) Thank you for all of your very inspiring videos !
In France, if we really want to give someone a knife, we usually ask them for a token tiny coin.. to avoid them being harmed by the knife, or our friendship being "cut".
I've heard that in some western cultures it's bad luck to give a knife as a gift (not sure why). You get around the problem in the same way you do in Chinese culture (by having the recipient give you a small amount of money in exchange. In fact, you can just give the knife along with a penny and have the recipient give the penny back to you.
When I lived in Taipei, a close Taiwanese friend from work asked me for a negative of a photo of my 2 year old son. I thought in Mandarin that I misunderstood him, but said he needed a negative and not just a photo. I asked, Why? He said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby, and they wanted to put a bunch of my son’s photo all around their bedroom so that they would have a beautiful child…..this was a highly educated man, and yet believed in this tradition / superstition.
Yes. I gave a green hat to the person I was attracted too. Bad move. It didn’t work out. Also, I gave socks to a friend. She thought I wanted to date. This seems to be young culture. And lastly, I gave an umbrella to a dear coworker as a parting gift. I had no idea.
In Britain we don't really have any presents (as far as I know) that would be deemed inappropriate Except obvious things - such as giving a child something intended for adults Giving a woman something romantic when she is already married etc Personally if someone gives me something I say thankyou even if I don't like it I would find it rude if I gave someone a present and they didn't say thankyou though of course cultural research matters
Some English people expect you to open the gift they have given you in front of them - I do, atleast. If I give someone a present I want to see their reaction and if they don't like it, I do expect some kind of gratitude but I will usually say something humbling before hand if I am unsure about the gift, like 'I didn't know if you would like this so you can return it'. I am use to people not opening gifts infront of others though.
Hello. in Russia we don't gift shoes, knives, sharp things (needle, cactus), big empty-inside dishes (but if you put candies or fruits inside its ok then),no clocks too. Mirrors and handkerchiefs are forbidden to be gifted, especially mirrors... even conflict may occur, especially if it happens to countryside people.
Today i gave my girl friend the wrong flowers, she said this flowers are to be given to the dead parents. Could you please explain which flowers represent what purpose in Chinese culture.
I would like to ask, if we would like to give others lucky money, as you said it should be related to even number, so it made me confuse a little bit. Like 100 dollar... which one should it be?
In America, never give a stranger a sharp knife ..... they might stab you. I have always said to my Chinese friends , most are Taiwanese or HK Chinese, that they are very oddly Superstitious and the greatest impediment to their life is the Chinese language (that includes Cantonese, and all local dialects). They laugh, but your lovely and interesting video just proved me right! Your English is wonderful, my Mandarin sucks.
we should not pander to any silly superstitions, still it is a good way of weeding out idiots, as if they object or take offence then that is a great sign.
Was my comment deleted? I'll say it again. Thank you for this video, it helps me in different ways. I am learning languages not just to become a plain polyglot but to communicate with real life people, so people like me need to learn the culture too. I watched a video from somewhere and that person talked about Chinese wearing BLACK in certain festival. So, I asked "isn't it a thing done by people who copied foreign culture"(?), by adding real life example. Then that video was DISAPPEARED, maybe it was hidden or deleted! That person neglected to the people who are learning others' culture and languages. I unsubscribed it. Of course my One Devote doesn't affect. But that's how I am disappointed.
Thank you. Great video again 😃👍🙏 But funny 😄 I know ladies love purses, handbags and shoes...- so I completely understand, most of the ladies wouldn’t like to refuse them as a gift. But I have a question: When I went to China, to start my work there, I brought several people, important people as well as friends, a real Swiss Army knife multi tool as a gift, which are considered very useful and also precious (the real originals) in Europe and the originals are quite expensive in China. But I was a little bit scared and concerned , it could be an inappropriate gift, because a knife can cut things (friendships, relations) or even be a weapon. So, what do you think? Was it ok, or should I better have chosen another gift?
Thank you for your video, I'm British and I've got a Chinese girlfriend and I really don't want to give her or her family an inappropriate present. I also would like to share with you a cultural fact which I learned from some russian friends. Never give a Russian person an even amount of flowers, as it symbolises that to wish them death.
Someone once gave me an umbrella when I was in my 20s. I was traveling in Germany, and it was pouring rain. I didn't have an umbrella, so the host gave me theirs to keep. Then later, I loaned it to someone, but they did not return it. I really liked it because it reminded me of the kind family. But I never assigned a negative meaning to it. However, ha - I guess because the next person did not return it, that could be viewed as theft.
In France, if you give somebody a knife they need to pay you a small amount of money so that it becomes a transaction and does not cut into your relationship.
Great video, Thanks. I would also add one: if you want to give flowers to a Chinese, never give chrysanthemum, 菊花 especially the yellow and white ones. It is the flower we bring to the funeral, or when we want to express condolences.
Here in brasil i already heard some cases of giving green hat to a man, because green is one of the color of our flag, so during world cup is common to people using green hat ou cap, and there was once a friend of mine give a green hat to the chinese director in the Confucius Institute of my city and when he was going back to china, another friend gift him a wall clock...
In Russia if you wanna give a candle as a gift it is kinda a sign of funeral and death, but we are not so superstitious, bc if the candle is beautiful, unusual, or u are a collectionner why not) the same with clocks, its a good gift for school but not for a person
In America and Europe, it is considered to be very unlucky to give to someone of the opposite gender an 'STD'. Because it is the gift that keeps on giving.
I'm Irish. I don't think we have anything like that. The only exception is white lilies, which are only for funerals. Should not be given at any other time. And at weddings, it's best to give cash, €50 minimum.
In Spain I think there's not a single thing you can't give as a present? I've never thought about it, but I can't think of anything that would be considered bad luck or ominous, specially because Spanish people are not very superstitious
Is there any gift-giving taboo in your country?
no... ; - ;
Not that I'm aware of...
Probably a weight loss product in america lol
In some western cultures, knives are regarded as an ominous gift. Of course it is a silly superstitition, but some people like my sister are serious about it. They believe that it would ”cut“ good relationships. And to avoid it, these people give back a little amount of money if they receive knives as a gift.
I am from French Canada and I dont know if that tradition is French or American or both.
The only important thing I can think of about gifts in France is the receiver should not be aware of how much you paid for it.
I would just add that when you give Chinese people gifts (at least when you go to their house) they will not open them, but instead will hide it haha. The first time I brought a gift to a Chinese person this was very strange and I thought maybe they didn't care about it, but it's actually that it's considered rude/greedy to open a gift in front of the giver. Great video!
It is considered rude in India too. Here it's like ✨ etiquettes and manners✨
Same here. I always thought it's weird how Americans just open them imidietly
Noticed that with other Asians as well, specifically Filipino's as well
What if the recipient does not like the gift?
@@matstan3515 Americans would usually open it right away to show the giver that the gift is appreciated. The thing we would consider equivalently rude would be to act disappointed with what you receive, even if you hate it. It seems to me like all of us are just trying to avoid offending the giver if we don't like the gift, even though we are doing it in different ways.
I’m not sure why- I am completely fluent in Chinese, in fact I am Chinese.. but I still love watching her videos for some reason 😂
me too！
I am not surprised: its a way of looking at oneself, she gives you an opportunity to get an insight into yourself... (Our frame of mind is defined by language....)
I know why.
Excited to be fluent in Chinese so that I can watch videos of native English speakers teaching English to Chinese people :))
@@cartdog3 I hope to be able to watch videos of people teaching english in chinese one day lol
Thank you for including both simplified and traditional characters!!
I was going to comment the same!
In Italy we say that is bad luck to gift anything "cutting" or "piercing", as they could cut or damage the friendship, so even a broche could be an issue, or handkerchiefs, as you need them when you cry. The antidote is "selling them", or asking the person who receive them to pay you back a small coin.
For the piercing/cutting things there is another way (but this is less common): the person getting the gift should prick a finger with the item, so "the hurt is done" and it is not a problem anymore...
When the girl said she gave her teacher a clock and the friend said, "oh, looks like you won't be graduating!" I had to pause and laugh. Even their facial expressions were spot on. Thanks for the video!
Here in 菲律賓, these are the gift giving taboos I know.
1. Shoes: Same with you that giving that to a person especially a lover means he/she will leave you.
2. Handkerchief - giving that to a person/lover means he will make you cry.
3. Wallet - when giving wallet, you should put at least a small amount of money. I don't know why.
Also, you mentioned red envelope(紅包) right? Here, I was taught when giving, the pieces of money inside should be odd so that it will find its pair. So more money will come lol 😂
Wow I didn’t know these gift giving taboos in 菲律賓！Thanks for sharing! Maybe an empty wallet is a sign of poverty so people don’t like it? I’m just guessing :P
@@GraceMandarinChinese yeah it can be. that maybe the reason why hahaha. But I did receive a gift of empty wallet from friends 😅
@@xuxipan7181XD LMAOOO
@@xuxipan7181 汝是咱人無？
I'm learning Chinese, so this is very informative. I love your videos Grace, keep up the amazing work.😊
Ninjabot1994 Thanks! I will;)
learning Chinese with peppa pig 小猪佩奇th-cam.com/video/vR1Lt8D2k2I/w-d-xo.html
In the netherlands, it is commonly considered rude to give money to someone. This is more accepted among younger generations, but it's still uncomfortable because your gift is very quantifyable. Additionally, it is considered weird to give gifts to your friends' of SO's parents, or to give a gift in business culture. Only during winter festivities (sinterklaas and christmas mainly), weddings or birthdays is gifting normal. It is however expected to bring something to eat or drink when you're invited to a non-birthday party, as it is not the task of the host to take care of food unless specified otherwise.
I must say your acting is pretty good! I forgot the “different” characters were all you haha
I'm from Germany and I remember my mom making me give her 5 cents when she gifted me my first pocket knife as a child. Because gifting knives is a symbol for cutting or breaking a relationship. So i guess the transaction workaround is the same as in Chinese culture ^^
Half of my family is Hungarian, so we had certain rules we had to obey.
For gifts,
Our good gifts include high-quality chocolates, flowers or liquor.
Flowers should be given in odd numbers, excluding the number 13 (which is considered to be an unlucky number).
And gifts are usually opened when received, its rude to hide them, or not open them. My mom told me it makes the gift giver feel like their gift is not worth opening in front of them. (These rules aren't for everyone though, some people do different things)
In the US, you can't give people cash, a taboo which I don't think exists in Chinese culture (my Chinese family exchanges 红包 with other Chinese people all the time). I guess the American interpretation of receiving cash is that the giver is saying that you are struggling and could use the cash, and financial matters are quite private and taboo in America. Also, some people think the giver was not thoughtful enough to choose a gift. That's part of the reason why gift cards exist, so that you can give someone money without giving them cash.
Ray Sun Thank you for sharing! I have some American friends so I’m really glad to know this!!
That's not true! I've gotten many cash gifts, seen others receiving cash gifts, given cash gifts, etc. It's not a taboo, you CAN give a cash gift. It is considered a little less thoughtful than picking something out for someone, but that is not the same as a taboo - not the same as the types of gifts she's talking about.
@@AdeleiTeillana In Black American families Giving money means that person either doesn't know you well or just didn't want to take the time to find out what you like or wanted it's a Taboo, unthoughtful, crass, unless the giver lives far away or is unable to get a real gift.
but
this can change/be acceptable in certain cases like graduations
@@AdeleiTeillana well, im not sure we have "taboos", americans try to avoid looking superstitious, but its considered poor form, a gift should indicate some familiarity, cash means i dont know you well. worse if i have a better job, then i'm calling you poor. even a gift card, which is cash but less useful, is considered better because it would be for a place that indicates a shared interest. honestly younger americans are fine with cash, its a ceremony thing.
I would not agree with this. I think it depends on who is giving the gift and to whom. For example, in the Northern US, it is very common to give cash gifts to the newlywed couple. It is common to give cash to college students who will need it at school. I will agree that many people believe that if you give cash, you simply didn't take the time to consider what gift a person might like. Additionally, a person can find many gifts to purchase for less than their value. So it would seem like you gave a very expensive gift even if you got it on sale. But if you give cash, there is no hiding the value of the gift. So if you give cash, you want to be sure it is a good amount. Exceptions to this could be cash gifts from grandparents who might not have much income, for example - or a lot of people they need to give gifts. In the US, families are larger, so a grandparent might choose to give a card with cash inside instead of a tangible gift. Then they can give the same amount to every grandchild so there is no comparison about someone being favored or receiving a nicer gift than another grandchild. However, they often will spend money on gifts for them anyway, so money is often viewed as the main gift, and the little other gifts as just something they bought for you. Gift cards are seen as money gifts where people will think you didn't give much thought to the gift. However, I'd rather receive a gift card any day to a place I enjoyed shopping than a tangible gift that I might never use.
In belgium (and france as well I think), whenever you want to give a knife as present to someone, they have to give you some money because a knife cannot be a gift: it is thought that it would cut off the frienship
It's the same in Quebec!
@@Coccinelf It's also taboo to give knives or scissors as gifts, especially wedding gifts, in Chinese culture.
was (is) that way in the United States
I'm French and I've never heard of this before
Thank you so much for this!!! I enjoyed watching this and found it easy to follow 💕💕
It amazes me how much you care for people. You are an incredible teacher. Youskill for created videos blows my mind. Thank you so much for your hard work!!~♡
Giving a small coin in exchange for some types of gifts to avoid bad luck is also a practice in some other countries. In France, you're supposed to do it if you're given a knife.
It's also taboo to give knives or scissors as gifts, especially wedding gifts, in Chinese culture.
Where in France ? Never heard of it
@@grille-pain3686 My family is from Indre-et-Loire, so maybe it's a regional custom?
你最好了 😊 Keep up the good work. Your lessons are very helpful and easy to follow, Grace ❤️
I love your video description that have both simplified and traditional chinese
Thank you so much, this video was so interesting!
In Italy there are several taboos concerning gifts. Most of them are shared with other European countries, (Sharp or cutting items, empty wallets, umbrellas) but the most peculiar among them is about crysanthemum flowers, an absolute no-no, since we use them on Nov. 2nd to remember our deceased ones.
It is also forbidden to give flowers as a gift at a baby's baptism.
My grandma was so wary about Chrysanthemum flowers that she never ever gave them to the deceased she loved, so when she died nobody that knew her gave her those. She was also very picky with the colours, so the flower crowns that were given by family members were very different from those given by coworkers and the such.
In the Philippines ,I remember the similar belief of giving shoes or slippers as a gift...when you recieve a shoes or slippers as a gift always give the person a little amount of money ...
We often say" bigyan mo siya ng piso niregaluhan ka ng sapatos"...means..give her/him a 1peso(Ph Currency)because he/she gave you shoes...
in louisiana i heard they use to not give plants because plant might die, so relationship might die, today not many people believe superstitions
Here in Czechia, it is not a good idea to give a woman even number of flowers. It's because even number of flowers is put on graves. I have no ideas about other rules - it rather concerns ethiquete than or superstitions.
For example, we should avoid buying too expensive gifts or something obviously inappropriate. Expensive gifts invoke feeling of reciprocity - making other person thinking he should buy next time something expensive too. Also the gifts should not be already gifted items. Visiting someone's birthday party in Czechia often includes unpacking the gifts and nobody should feel ashamed of the gift, scared or even offended.
When I talked about the flowers in the start, I should also mention that some especially older people pay attention not only to count of flowers, but also to their colour and kind.
Dan We Thanks for the sharing!! :D
Ooh that’s interesting about the pears. I know a lot of Japanese Koreans family that give those round Asian pears for gifts whenever there’s a family event
Shoes as a gift to a girlfriend/wife since she might run away. Also, you aren’t supposed to buy yourself jewelry with opals (bad luck). Someone has to give it to you as a gift.
this video was great, thanks.
'Yo, you see that guy over there? His wife wears a green hat!'
(crowd gasps)
Thanks for sharing these with us. Very useful info! However, I do want to add that as Asians are westernized or born in the west, they are not aware of such meanings or simply don't care or not superstitious at all. Anyway it's better to know or else you may look ignorant and/or feel embarrassed doing these things. This video was Grace-fully done!
Chen Jun Guang Hello 俊光! I didn’t know that before! But it makes sense, you were growing up in western cultures so you might not notice these things or people around you don’t care so you will not care as well :P Thanks for letting us know! ;)
Thank you for your video. I'm learning Japanese and you helped me understand why 4 is a bad number. You also showed the Kanji for 4 (san) which I was not familiar with.
Thank you for Word by word Translation. This matches my brain's pattern best.
We also dont give shoes and clocks as present. But only for a couple, it means: time is up and walk your way.
As a traditional present for catholic Sacrament from a goodfather/mother, we do give a watch at their confirmation ritual....
When I want to give shoes, I also take a little Money, so it is a deal, not a present.
In Austria, we rather not give money as present. It's considered to lack of knowing the persons the wishes, and unprepared.
If we want to give money, we pack it in a creative peronal Style, related to the person's wish... Or we give a Voucher.
Giving white flowers (e.g. white roses) for a birthday as a gift is a no-go either.
Wow! It was so fascinating to learn about presents in China! Thank you so much!^^ I didn't know these nuances before. Personally I'm Ukrainian, and we don't have any restrictions for presents here. So I would say, you're never gonna get into an uncomfortable situation because of a particular gift.
Anastasia - Recently I heard about a wonderful Ukrainian tradition connected with Christmas - something to do with a bare Christmas tree and spiders webs turning into tinsel? you probably know the one I mean
Do Ukrainians not have the thing about not giving an even number of flowers? That was a big no-no when I lived in Moscow.
@@Oamaruastro An even number of flowers are given at funerals
@@AnastasiaKhomenko right, which is why they’re no acceptable as a gift when you go to someone’s house for dinner….
Thank you for sharing Grace! but I checked with my Chinese friend and was told that "绿帽“ isn't the correct way of saying it. She also gave me a few more examples, like "a good boy" in Chinese is 一个好孩子, she said that I cannot say 一个好孩. something like this. Would you let me know how you think of it? Thanks!
Hello, This is a good question!
Let me explain it to you, actually using “子” as a suffix to form a noun, in many cases, is necessary. For example “孩子”, “筷子”, “椅子”, “蚊子”. You can’t delete the “子” here. Nevertheless, in many other cases, whether to add “子” is optional. Usually it’s decided by the balance of the syllables of sentence(not compulsory, just a tendency) for example, you can say:”我要鞋子”(I want shoes)(two+two->balanced) but people don’t usually say:”我要鞋”(the sentence here sounds weird because the syllables is not balanced) but it’s okay to say”我要黑鞋”（I want black shoes)(two+two->balanced)
And when simply saying the word, people tend to say it completely like”绿帽子” but even if you just say “绿帽” it’s not wrong but to some people it might not sound so natural. However, being in a sentence or combining with other words, it’s totally natural to say “绿帽”, like”戴绿帽” is one of the examples. Hope this information helps!:)
Grace Mandarin Chinese thank you so much for the explanation!! Much appreciated! So, basically Chinese people don’t say 我要鞋 because of the syllables are not balanced, right? What about 我买鞋？like when I am shopping shoes and being asked what do I want to buy. it also sounds weird, right? I should say 我买鞋子？Am I right? I sort of remembered that my teacher taught me like this way. I feel a bit confused. Keep up the great work! 你教学的很好！👍
Zz Z It’s better to say “我要买鞋（子）” or “我想买鞋（子）” in that situation. And just like I said, in some cases, whether to add “子” is optional, so either way is not wrong. People can choose which form they want to use depending on many different factors. And different person might have different preference. I think the best way to get used to these is by listening more to get a sense that which one sounds more natural in that certain context (but most of the time, it fine to say either way) Hope you won’t be so confused after knowing these:D
I already responded to another person's post further down, but I also wanted to say that I don't think we have things that are necessarily "taboo" in the US like this. However, there are a few rules of etiquette that are generally followed. You shouldn't give a "white elephant" gift (meaning giving something to someone that another person gave you). It is considered in poor taste - a bit rude. Or at least if you do so, do it in a way that no one will find out. The exception to that is when you have a party where people intend it to be a "white elephant" gift. Then the rule is that you can *only* give something someone has given you or something you already own. In this way, it puts everyone on the same level - where no one will spend money on a gift. Everyone must give something without spending money. It is intended that the gift giving is not a burden to those who might not have additional funds to simply buy another gift for someone they weren't already going to give a gift.
Also, it is in poor taste to return gifts that others have given you. This can be viewed in the show "FRIENDS" when Rachel is known for always returning the gifts people give her because she doesn't like them and wants something different. It is viewed as rude because you should be grateful to have received a gift at all.
However, it has also become common for people to give a gift with a "gift receipt" which does not show the total spent, but it shows the store where it was purchased. That way, if the gift is not something they will use, you are giving them grace in-advance to go ahead and return it. When they go to the store, they will scan the tag, and you will know the current value. It might be more or less than what was paid. The person might have purchased it on sale, and it is no longer on sale. So you will receive a greater value for it. Or maybe it's been awhile, and it's now on clearance. Then you will not receive much for it.
Gift giving is quite interesting isn't it.
When I was in a Native culture, it was rude to refuse a gift or food. So even if you were full, you still had to accept a second helping. The way to avoid it was to leave a little food on your plate, then they would not offer you more. Where in other households, leaving food on the plate would be considered as wasting the food.
I think that gift giving is best when it is from the heart and received graciously, regardless of cultural expectations. People cannot always know, but if they have given you a gift, then it's polite to accept it and be gracious.
been reading chinese novels for so long that I realized I actually know a lot about chinese traditions, culture and superstitions akdjskdjkdjsjsjd
the number 4 is even avoided on doors, when numbering the street.
Hi Grace. I have a green hat that I like to wear. Does that have a negative significance if I wear it to my Tai Chi class or Chinese Dance class?
Hello and thank you for the great video!
Do you have any recommendations for presents to a Chinese business partner for the new Chinese year holiday coming next month?
Thank you!
THis is an amazing revalation - both that there are so many Chinese words with similar meanings, and that as a result the meaning gets transfered between the inaminate objects. I wonder whether as the Chinese polulation becomes more modernised may be these old fashioned superstitions will pass?
I can't think of any inappropriate gifts in UK. (except as someone mentioned below.... if you give a purse oir wallet it is an old custom to put some money in to it. But I don't think people do this much to-day.)
Thank you for all of your very inspiring videos !
Thank you for the video!
Sappukei No problem ;)
Thank you; very worth knowing.
Well done! 👌🏻
Thank you!
In France, if we really want to give someone a knife,
we usually ask them for a token tiny coin..
to avoid them being harmed by the knife,
or our friendship being "cut".
Great video ! Thanks !
I've heard that in some western cultures it's bad luck to give a knife as a gift (not sure why). You get around the problem in the same way you do in Chinese culture (by having the recipient give you a small amount of money in exchange. In fact, you can just give the knife along with a penny and have the recipient give the penny back to you.
It's taboo to give knives or scissors as gifts, especially wedding gifts, in Chinese culture. They symbolize cutting or severing.
thank you very much🙂🙏🏻
啊 。TH-cam上最可爱的教师 ❤
miss grace, are you a chinese tutor offering services outside this platform or ur only here in youtube?
When I lived in Taipei, a close Taiwanese friend from work asked me for a negative of a photo of my 2 year old son. I thought in Mandarin that I misunderstood him, but said he needed a negative and not just a photo. I asked, Why? He said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby, and they wanted to put a bunch of my son’s photo all around their bedroom so that they would have a beautiful child…..this was a highly educated man, and yet believed in this tradition / superstition.
Yes. I gave a green hat to the person I was attracted too. Bad move. It didn’t work out.
Also, I gave socks to a friend. She thought I wanted to date. This seems to be young culture.
And lastly, I gave an umbrella to a dear coworker as a parting gift. I had no idea.
In Britain we don't really have any presents (as far as I know) that would be deemed inappropriate
Except obvious things - such as giving a child something intended for adults
Giving a woman something romantic when she is already married etc
Personally if someone gives me something I say thankyou even if I don't like it
I would find it rude if I gave someone a present and they didn't say thankyou though of course cultural research matters
Some English people expect you to open the gift they have given you in front of them - I do, atleast. If I give someone a present I want to see their reaction and if they don't like it, I do expect some kind of gratitude but I will usually say something humbling before hand if I am unsure about the gift, like 'I didn't know if you would like this so you can return it'. I am use to people not opening gifts infront of others though.
The clock one is heavy on symbolism I see
Hello. in Russia we don't gift shoes, knives, sharp things (needle, cactus), big empty-inside dishes (but if you put candies or fruits inside its ok then),no clocks too.
Mirrors and handkerchiefs are forbidden to be gifted, especially mirrors... even conflict may occur, especially if it happens to countryside people.
Today i gave my girl friend the wrong flowers, she said this flowers are to be given to the dead parents. Could you please explain which flowers represent what purpose in Chinese culture.
When I was in Korea, a student gave me soap for Teacher's Day. I shower every day. I don't need soap.
Well if you shower every day, then you're bound to need that soap eventually
Is that only for people from the villages?
I would like to ask, if we would like to give others lucky money, as you said it should be related to even number, so it made me confuse a little bit. Like 100 dollar... which one should it be?
nice videos thanks for sharing❤️
As a Chinese Language Student I am Really Interesting about Lessons..!!!!!!
Thank You..!!!!!
Xie Xie Ni..!!!!!
Sandun (Jiang Xing he)
Sri Lanka
Glad you like the lessons! No problem! :D Hope you enjoy my other lessons as well!
In America, never give a stranger a sharp knife ..... they might stab you. I have always said to my Chinese friends , most are Taiwanese or HK Chinese, that they are very oddly Superstitious and the greatest impediment to their life is the Chinese language (that includes Cantonese, and all local dialects). They laugh, but your lovely and interesting video just proved me right! Your English is wonderful, my Mandarin sucks.
4:01 I think you should correct a mistake. 教师 pinyin is jiao4shi1, not jiao1shi1. I know, pinyin is always very tricky to native speakers :)
so good things come in pairs, but not pears.
My parents are Portuguese and I don't think there are any taboo gifts that are inappropriate but i'd have to look that up.
There is no bad gift if you give from your heart the small gift is the best usually time and place in the right time
I have a Chinese bff and I wanted to give him a gift for lunar new year any tips? 😅
we should not pander to any silly superstitions, still it is a good way of weeding out idiots, as if they object or take offence then that is a great sign.
Was my comment deleted? I'll say it again.
Thank you for this video, it helps me in different ways. I am learning languages not just to become a plain polyglot but to communicate with real life people, so people like me need to learn the culture too.
I watched a video from somewhere and that person talked about Chinese wearing BLACK in certain festival. So, I asked "isn't it a thing done by people who copied foreign culture"(?), by adding real life example.
Then that video was DISAPPEARED, maybe it was hidden or deleted!
That person neglected to the people who are learning others' culture and languages. I unsubscribed it. Of course my One Devote doesn't affect. But that's how I am disappointed.
I'm not sure if I knew the Korean word for umbrella came from Chinese... cool!!
Thank you. Great video again 😃👍🙏
But funny 😄 I know ladies love purses, handbags and shoes...- so I completely understand, most of the ladies wouldn’t like to refuse them as a gift.
But I have a question: When I went to China, to start my work there, I brought several people, important people as well as friends, a real Swiss Army knife multi tool as a gift, which are considered very useful and also precious (the real originals) in Europe and the originals are quite expensive in China.
But I was a little bit scared and concerned , it could be an inappropriate gift, because a knife can cut things (friendships, relations) or even be a weapon. So, what do you think? Was it ok, or should I better have chosen another gift?
Thank you
Here in Australia there is almost nothing that you can’t give as a gift.
Thank you for your video, I'm British and I've got a Chinese girlfriend and I really don't want to give her or her family an inappropriate present.
I also would like to share with you a cultural fact which I learned from some russian friends. Never give a Russian person an even amount of flowers, as it symbolises that to wish them death.
I learned about the green hat meaning in C drama 😬
I'm guessing giving a June 4 gift of a tiny cake shaped like a tank would probably not be a good idea. Just ask Li Jiaqi. 🤪
it's insane how cultures are so different, and how someone can interpret a simple gift as something bad, but then again, who gifts umbrellas?
Someone once gave me an umbrella when I was in my 20s. I was traveling in Germany, and it was pouring rain. I didn't have an umbrella, so the host gave me theirs to keep. Then later, I loaned it to someone, but they did not return it. I really liked it because it reminded me of the kind family. But I never assigned a negative meaning to it. However, ha - I guess because the next person did not return it, that could be viewed as theft.
In France, if you give somebody a knife they need to pay you a small amount of money so that it becomes a transaction and does not cut into your relationship.
same in Russia... (but not the relationship part)
It's also taboo to give knives or scissors as gifts, especially wedding gifts, in Chinese culture.
Great video, Thanks. I would also add one: if you want to give flowers to a Chinese, never give chrysanthemum, 菊花 especially the yellow and white ones. It is the flower we bring to the funeral, or when we want to express condolences.
Wondering 🤔🤨😣😥
And funny too!🤣🤣😂😂😂
They always thinking negative and bad points!
在瑞典，交出刀具是不好的，因为这会切断友谊。
Only the clock is not a good idea, for the rest of the others, it is absolutely OK.
在阿根廷你不能送刀子，以为 送刀子 意思 “想分手”所以如果你收到了一把刀子你必须送给其他的人一些钱
hello im 🇵🇭 im new subscriber😃
I thought all the while that pear is pronounce (per) instead of (peer), pls correct me if I’m wrong
Yeah it’s per. She pronounced it wrong
me at every question about the gift, i always say 新电脑. idk why
谢谢你。
Here in brasil i already heard some cases of giving green hat to a man, because green is one of the color of our flag, so during world cup is common to people using green hat ou cap, and there was once a friend of mine give a green hat to the chinese director in the Confucius Institute of my city and when he was going back to china, another friend gift him a wall clock...
Is it okay to give Bats?
lol
哇 Grace小姐。你不仅是一个最美丽的姑娘，你的英语发音也真厉害！😄
Okhai Akhazemea 謝謝你😆
In Russia if you wanna give a candle as a gift it is kinda a sign of funeral and death, but we are not so superstitious, bc if the candle is beautiful, unusual, or u are a collectionner why not) the same with clocks, its a good gift for school but not for a person
Александра, серьезно? Где оно так?
I don't know what Russia you're living at but in my Russia I never heard about things you said
My mother does the one with the shoes. We always have to give her a token penny.
Last year my ex gave me an umbrella as a gift...we broke up less then a week later. Mind blown. Thanks for sharing this!
That's awful!
All I can think of is that it's awkward to give people soap or deodorant because that's kind of like suggesting that they stink 😬
In America and Europe, it is considered to be very unlucky to give to someone of the opposite gender an 'STD'. Because it is the gift that keeps on giving.
谢 谢
I Think Green hat looks nice on you may I send one please You are nice teacher good job many thanks
I'm Irish. I don't think we have anything like that. The only exception is white lilies, which are only for funerals. Should not be given at any other time. And at weddings, it's best to give cash, €50 minimum.
In contrast to the Chinese culture, in india it's considered good to give even numbered money and 1 more. So it's always odd.
How about 领带 ?
In Spain I think there's not a single thing you can't give as a present? I've never thought about it, but I can't think of anything that would be considered bad luck or ominous, specially because Spanish people are not very superstitious
is the green hat the only one not related to departing? although, a person receiving a green hat probably will end the relationship in no time hahahah
How interesting. In my culture (I'm Serbian), even numbers, especially number of flowers is considered bad luck and represents death.
Same in Russia. Odd numbers of flowers are for funerals