Yeah but thats thinking of lying from the perspective of someone who is honest, me myself a compulsive liar for many years now will just alter the story and create a new reality right there and then works
I really do regret all the lies I've ever told because it's never been worth it. Recently I've realized that I lie when I'm insecure or want control of the situation. Hopefully I can tell the truth from now on and stop being so weak
Experiences hard wire your brain during childhood. The likelihood you will truly escape the psychological hole you have dug yourself is low, because most people that do lie are weak like you said and give up before making any real progress because it takes real effort and the ability to admit when you're wrong to be able to change those things. Most people are too ego driven to do it. But when they are 50 and all alone and no one wants their wrinkly narcissistic ass, they will be too far in that hole to EVER escape it and will die alone with no one. No kids, no wife/husband, no friends... nothing. All because they ALLOWED their ego to control their behavior for immediate and temporary self gratification that is meaningless in the grander scheme of things. Not only that, but liars entirely destroy their own credibility. Completely annihilated. People might believe a few lies at first, but after a while you will say something that contradicts what you said earlier and people will catch on to the lie. It can be the smallest tiniest detail, if it's not consistent with reality and what you say, people get suspicious of you and stop taking what you say as anything that holds real weight and is actually worth listening to. People don't want to waste their time with it. And I dont blame them! You have to really truly want to change your ways. That desire 100% has to come from within you. No one else. Not from people telling you over and over to stop doing something, because that more often than not makes people do the opposite out of spite (another narcissistic trait I might add).. the desire has to come from you. You have to truly see the upsides to constant truth telling for that desire to really ignite in you. And you'll either develop that desire for authentic change after boxing yourself in with lies so many times over your life and eventually you will get tired of it, because people WILL see through it, or your ego will take 100% possession of your inner self and you'll completely lose what little bit of yourself you have left. I've seen it enough in other people and believe me, you don't want that to happen to you! It's a vicious cycle of self destruction and the destruction of those in your immediate circle. But that's how it leaves you alone and alienated as life goes on. As a person who is a truth teller and values authenticity in my daily life, I hope you are able to find a way to see through to the other side and come to the decision that will leave you feeling so much more complete and a well rounded overall happy person. The path you take is up to you, but keep in mind their ends are entirely polar opposite. Just something to think about... best of luck to you in your endeavors 😎
Why would anyone need to pay alot of money to go to a shrink, when they can hear out Prof. Peterson's lectures on TH-cam? Listen and learn from him, and you can work out the demons in your life. He speaks true stuff, he speaks the workings of the mind.
ot chuk sekira, truth does not lead to death, it can only free you. If someone does not want you to be free, a murderer might kill you. Truth does not lead to death, madness leads to death. So whatever truth you suspect might kill you - keep it to yourself until a better time, or unless you absolutely have to say it to save someone.
His speech about twisting the fabrics of reality was so powerful. It made me be a much more honest person. "No one gets to twist the fabric of reality"
No memory is capable enough to save a single lie - the smallest of truth has the power over all the greatest of lies. It would be so - that nothing would be possible if truth didn't have it so.
Great way to lie and remember your lies is to be conscientious about how you normally talk and what mannerisms you use in normal conversations and apply them into your lies, also never over explain when lying, and most of all, convince yourself that the lie is true. Maybe im just a sociopath but i cant tell you how many horrible things ive gotten away with completely haha. Big issue with that is dealing with the pretty deep guilt when remembering those things though
I always say if you make it a habit to practice honesty you'll be able to tell a lie just from hearing it because truth and lies are literally like two different languages
@RitaMcCloud777He means that if you go into a conversation under the assumption you’ll be able to tell lies from the truth everytime you can easily fall prey to psychopaths whose second nature is basically to lie, charm and manipulate you for their own personal gain. To be naive is to be an easy victim
You’ve fortunately never met an experienced liar. Some people can think quick enough to blend lies fluidly. It’s especially effective when you blend the truth in with a lie.
There's a reason he's so popular. Nobody else makes such powerful deductions from things like myths and stories and explains how they relate to real life. And explains "why" you shouldn't lie. Not just that you shouldn't.
This is all too real for me. I used to be what you might call a compulsive liar and the 'hydra' is an accurate archetypal manifestation of lying. If you take that path far enough you become pathological to the core of your being and that's not a great place to be. If not for JP I wouldn't have seen the error in my ways and i'm trying to live forthrightly, although it's not easy but I can say one thing, it's insurmountably better than living a life of deceit.
how long did you deal with the compulsive lying for before you changed your ways? I'm dealing with this issue currently and am worried I may be in too far to fix it...
Probably 6/7 years? I don't necessarily think so. I kind of think of the lie as contorting yourself to fit into something that isn't you. It's also what you've managed to come up with as the best solution for dealing with whatever problem you have. You just have to let go of the lie but simultaneously see that there's a better solution which is telling the truth in every sense of your being, just like JP says "The truth is the antidote for suffering".
Compulsive lying is a tricky slope. The more frequently you lie the better you get, your lies become truth in your own mind and eventually you are even able to convince yourself of your own lies. You begin to build false realities in your mind and get so sucked up into those realities that you forget about everyone and everything, all you know and care about is the delicate reality you have meticulously constructed within your own mind. You build a fake persona, you begin to watch people, learn what makes them tick and eventually manipulate them to see you as a "God". Relationships fail, because nothing about you was build on truth. So beware. These people are hard to spot and they will drag you into their spiral deception and make you feel as though you are the insane one, and when that happens you are FUCKED. Sociopaths and narcissists are great liars and great manipulators, to the point that it is an art form. But they all have their tells. My advice to you.
"One of the advantages of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said" That's very true. It's actually very hard to keep the story together when you tell one guy this and the other guy that. Getting caught is so humiliating. It's easier just to tell the truth.
You should never tell lies, and for one simple reason. If you tell a lie, you have to remember it. It stays there in your head, being juggled around always kept on standby, just in case you might need it. However, if you tell the truth, you can forget about it, because whilst lies can change and morph into something else, and you have to remember each and every permutation told to every single person, the truth never changes, it always remains the same, no matter how many times that you tell it.
1:40 -- Judge Judy says that all the time. The ways she catches people in lies is either by looking for inconsistencies in their stories, or failing that by paying attention to when they have to stop and remember what they'd said before.
I love listening to Prof. Peterson's lectures - he has helped me a lot in my own personal life. This is one of the most hard hitting for me though - I grew up with an adoptive mother who was a pathological liar - and today if my wife tells my son its the last one (when she is feeding him for example) and its not the last one I go mental at her and insists that she tells my son the absolute truth no matter how small the lie is. There is no point in lying to others as you are really only lying to yourself!
I hate liars so much. The thing I learned to value in people the most as I grew up was honesty. When I was younger I thought as long as people can't prove reality is different, for example if we hide our motives and feelings, that that is not really lying, since only we know the truth. But thats still lying. People deserve to choose the people they want to have around them. If I am being dishonest about who I am, i am taking away the choice of someone.
@@Supermariocrosser If you have to lie to become accepted, then change so you can be accepted rather than lie about who you are??? If you got negative traits, then lying is a quick fix, actually changing your behaviour will be hard but long lasting and way more rewarding on all planes for everyone involved. To be honest you sound like you are someone that just want to wallow in misery and have an emotional tampon around to dump your shit on to make yourself feel better.. But i could be wrong.
This man is like Father to most of us , and those kids . What a great honest man , telling a true learning kids how life really is. Most teacher do not learn us about real life.
If you must lie ,lie in the arms of the one you love… If you must cheat, try to cheat death… If you must steal, steal every precious moment you have together…
My dearest friend once said, "I figured out as I grew up that telling a lie puts me in opposition to the universe, and sets me on a path that cannot serve me." I think that's the best explanation of what happens when we lie that I've ever heard.
Jordan helped me stop lying by just listening to what he has to say about it, i lied about everything. About stuff that don’t even matter but I did because it was an old habit I had my whole life. Thank you Jordan ❤️
It's the coverup, always the coverup. Pride forbids the dishonest person from admitting their fault. Or they might be an entitled narcissist who genuinely believes their own lies.
Liars lie because they're afraid of the consequences of telling an uncomfortable truth. Then they become afraid of people discovering that they've lied. Don't be so harsh on them, show them that you won't judge them negatively for being truthful
Frito Not in every case, like narcissistics who sometimes lie in order to keep their dominance and other things they get from their manipulation on others, and when confronted with facts they cannot run from, turn in denial and violent as if they where outraged.
5:40 I once told someone a lie, then they told other people and I had to create lies for the lie and it grew exponentially. I created this entire tree of lies on the spot and still remember it all. I didn't expect him to tell other people that we just met.
For the most part people don't care if they lie, they want what they want in that moment and if lying gets it for you - then who cares "the end justifies the means". They throw away everything about themselves of worth when they lie and they don't care. They just want what they want for the moment. And then they wonder why people don't respect them, or think they have anything worth saying. I always say if you don't think people know you are lying - think again, just because they don't call you out doesn't mean you got away with anything ... you just become known as a liar and from this day forth, nothing you say is believable - you have lost any and all credibility. But the people in this world don't really care about being a person of substance.
But you have to be someone who cares what someone outside of you thinks about for anything you said to matter, which means you need others to validate you.
Everyone wants others to validate them. The idea that they don't is another deception, although it's worthwhile to forego this desire at times when the cost of validation is higher than its actual worth.
I am not afraid, I was born to do this.... excellent synopsis! Ive found that all liars are complete hypocrites. Im surrounded by liars and a group of people who blame every mistake on others. No accountability. It disgusts me!!!
He is absolutely right about paranoid people. I'm quite a paranoid person and people don't realize how much I am paying attention to their every action and word and that it is stored for a very long time. I can understand a 'white lie', sure you didn't want to hurt some frail persons feelings, but I certain things you say or do will make me not trust you for a long time, or think less of you in general, especially when certain connections are made, such as noticing a contradiction. Saying things behind peoples backs, racial undertones, violent undertones, suspicious silence(eg conversation halting when a particular person nears, or when a particular topic comes up), who you are paying the most attention to, if you are paying attention to me, tapping on the desk(are you impatient? nervous?), this is a short list of things I am taking in of everyone I interact with or am surrounded by. By brain is trapped in an analytical process, so if there is some kind of contradiction or connection it's...well it's not always a "red flag", but it's like a 'spidey sense' this little light bulb goes off, the feeling of 'oh I get what is going on here'. The default position is not negative though, you have to earn suspicion. Problem is that it doesn't take long for most people to doing something immoral, but this means you feel very comfortable with those that consistently don't take negative action. Lies are a really bad one, people might be violent out of emotional outburst, or say means things, or be greedy, whatever, but there is calm intent with a lie, and it shakes the core of the trust between us. I don't feel comfortable talking to about anything personal, leaving you near my possessions, or hold any weight in your opinions. I don't want to make it sound so black and white, but hard to summarize without extreme length.
The default is, and should be, "you have to earn trust". Which is why I'm hyper-aware around nice people (but almost instantly feel guilty about it, which then kick-starts an interesting cycle of reactions).
My wife is that way... I’m getting far away from her... don’t like the surveillance... and she was so concerned about me lying and turns out she’s the biggest liar I’ve ever met!!!
I was in a relationship with a paranoid and violent girl. I was in the habit of being liberal with the truth, and god - I wish I had heard this lecture back then. Often I thought the safest thing to do would be to hold back details or obscure the truth or just outright lie to her so as not to make her upset or angry… not that I ever did anything that wrong, but she was so paranoid that even the littlest thing would set her off and so I tried my best to avoid that at all costs. Peterson is absolutely right - lying is the worst thing you could do in that situation. It made her paranoia so much worse. I might have avoided a lot of hell if I had been careful and given her the truth to work with instead. It was a horrible experience but it taught me a lot about the value of truth, and I have made a point of being an honest person ever since.
In order to be good at reading a liar, you have to have been around them. Some people lie like it's a language. People call being honest,"blunt". I don't know any other way to be. If truth bothers you, you'll loathe my company. When you don't give a damn and feel that you have nothing to prove, you won't feel the need to lie.
Having helped raise my kids , I learned why some people lie. It's because they are afraid, they learn they can escape the nastiness . But then they don't learn the consequences long term . It all starts in childhood but in these modern times its not PC to hold children to account . It's not going to end well .
I lied a lot in life and have recently changed to become a better person. It’s not good to lie. It’s better to accept yourself and accept things for what they are.
I think it’s great that he has those moments that connect us to him, like when he says “Anthony Weiner... what a great name for him”. It shows us that not everything he thinks is intellectual and important, but he can also laugh at silly things as well
The need to be honest & truthful is SO underrated , particularly by the (unexperienced ) young. If one gets a reputation as a liar, people will judge you negatively on many more issues. It is a character-flaw & those who have it also,generally, have other flaws. It will stick with you for the rest of your life. From truth flows ... Trustworthiness Dependability Morality Personal Responsibility Self awareness "Good-ness" Humility & many more... If someone lies to me, I evaluate them as being not worthy of my time or effort. I will avoid any form of engagement with them ... because... well, they are frauds, no good can come from engaging with such a person. Just my 2c. Loving the JP lectures.. 😎👍
I usually don’t like Jordan Peterson but I needed to hear this one. I recently just confessed to a lie I told my girlfriend for years. I tried to project this image of myself that isn’t true. I feel like such a rotten person and that hasn’t gone away since fessing up. But I feel better now that I’ve put away this one. Please don’t be that guy. Stop it before it gets worse, it’s a disease
If you don’t lie the other person will and they will look better then you because of those lies and they will be in a better position, you need to lie strategically
More often than not there is no reason to lie. Sometimes it's easier to ""not speak"". We don't need to answer all questions. We have the right to keep our mouths shut , especially when gossipy and nosey people ask us questions.
Not speaking can also make you look more dubious by providing no feedback that will implicate you and no I'm not talking about time to process incoming information when you have all the information, I'm talking about having received all the information and realising give been caught.. especially when she says loudly " I slept with him... Is that what you want to hear? My ultimate response is.. only if that's what happened.... After that the subject was off limits but she left the room after she shut it down which indicates to me she wants to distance herself of the topic..
I live my life like an open book. It helps me deal with my insecurities. I accept them so that I cant get too hurt. It can hurt but I can get to terms with it quickly. Peace of mind is the real treasure in life.
I really love , the way professor Jordan peterson, gives his lectures, I wish I was there at that time. but what is truly wonderful is I get to watch him any hour of the day or night,
Weed is 100% detrimental to my physical, emotional and mental well being. I started at 13, and proceeded to smoke it in the mind set that it's not bad for me and I enjoy it. this was the mind set until I was late 17 and I realised how much of a grasp weed has over me financially and socially. I'm 19 now and started my Inc
My ex is an addict and he would go on occasional meth binges and it would make him super paranoid and violent. I found out on my own that telling the truth in those situations was best. Do not be mindlessly nice to those people- just be very straight forward with them. They are hyper vigilant and will notice in discrepancy in your facial expressions. He would imagine in his head that I had some secret plan to get him in trouble (which I didn’t) or to hurt him in some way.
There are lies and then there are LIES it's a strong word that we should use carefully because once you call out a lier it is never the same again especially when it is the truth! Always be honest
What have just happned MADE MY DAY! I looked at the video and said: "This video really needs Arabic translation"; then BAM, Arabic subtitles were automatically ON. THANKS FOR WHOM EVER TRANSLATED THIS TO ARABIC
I learned to lie very early in life for self preservation i think the hardest part is keeping your story straight and the way to do that was tell as much truth as you can i still lie to my mom every day to keep ny relationship with my underage siblings that i raised and i dont feel bad for it because i cannot abandon them.
I used to lie all the time , actually for along period of my life i haven’t once said something true .until i started mixing up between what actually happened and what i imagined, its a very hard process to heal from cause at some point u believe those lies and they part of u , u have to separate what actually happened from what u told urself happened and then erase it. To people who can’t lie .that a blessing itself. Keep it
I had an acutely paranoid-schizophrenic brother. I really really wish that people knew more that honesty, genuineness, and consideration are KEY. They are way smarter emotionally in a way.
Everyone lies sometimes. Even a nervous fake smile is a lie if you get down to it, and we have all done that. I don't think lying is inherently bad, it just depends on the situation. I do agree that keeping lies up, doubling down on them, can create a heavy burden for yourself though. I guess it's all about picking your battles.
My family are such assholes, I had to lie to protect myself from them even though I haven't lived with them for decades. Since getting rid of them, I haven't had to tell one lie because no one around me tries to mess with me. Sometimes if you have to lie to feel safe around people, just cut them off.
Side affect of telling lies? To become compulsive with lie detection. Its a very useful thing to have. I'm surprised how many don't really want to know....
I like how Jordan PEterson describes that kind of dynamic. Since as we get older our perception is less reliable controlling people are at way higher risk of becoming paranoid. That kind of person who is very controlling getting old too is not always somebody who is big. Since all of us in that one respect start gettiing old at around age 8 then a whole lot of chaos can unfold from just one lie. Amid all of the killers in the world everywhere else who fight for honor even if they know it is going to kill them.
5:50 This so takes me back to play acting my dad did with me to instill in me just what Jordan's saying. Clever people can get away with a few lies but I never could.
This is pretty solid. I grew up in a fishing family. There's not a bigger buncha liars on earth. I grew up lying like crazy... I didn't know it was bad to lie, as everyone around me did it all day every day. I was the only one to go to collage in my family, and what an awakening it was to meet folks who don't lie n don't cheat. I made REAL friends who cared and respected me. I obviously only go home for holiday's now. I stay away from my crazy family. They all lie so much and about such small petty things. It's UNREAL, all one can do is just nod and play along, as calling them out makes me the enemy.
@@iThiink im still telling lies as jokes now but i tell them it was a lie right after, work like a charm, stil got the laugh out of em and no karma afterward xD
I see the effects of lies when someone makes up a lie about you behind your back. At work a co worker was drinking on the job. They found the bottles and the guy blamed me. Told them I was drinking..Almost lost my job.
Both Clintons, HRC & WJC, proved themselves incapable of holding a consistent truth or reality, other than what they said, goes...for a while. A very *long* while. They set the lowered-bar standard we'll live with for several more decades.
He admitted he smoked marijuana and it became a nonissue. He lied about having a sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky and it followed him (and her) forever.
1:40 “One of the advantages of telling the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.” Being thorough-through and through-is your best defense in an argument. Lying is akin to setting up booby-traps for your future self.
I hate myself. I had lied to my parents. I lied others. Cause I’m insecure and want some kind of control. And He’s right. I guess I am evil. But I’m just so addicted to lying that I lied to myself. It hurts me that I can’t even describe it. Sad that I grew up watching Pinocchio, yet being an 21 year old. I ironically became Pinocchio and Peter Pan in Peterson’s case… No wonder I feel so depressed. Am I the only one who feels this way?
i came back for a retroactive like from the linked video in description, INCLUDED A TIMELINK TOO. Amazing channel management really appreciate the commitment
Although I strive to be honest (and place a high value on honesty, and regard it as virtuous), I want to say that - at some deep level or other - it's impossible to be truthful to either ourselves or others.
That's awesome man. 20k is a good chunk. I just got to get my foot further in the door to make bigger moves. That's also a good idea tho. I'm just glad I'm out of cooking now I can set bigger plans. But their is allot of opportunity to grow in this company. Glad ur doing good an I'm thankful that I have your support Todd. I couldn't of done it without you talking seance into me.
Cliffhanger... He told his story to the cop, The cop didn't care and asked him to move to the other line and he did EXACTLY what the officer said (as planned). ;-)
The downside is always loss in the end, loss of that you intended to get by lying, often more than that. I know this because I have the extremely unpleasant experience of finding out. I usually only lie when dating, not for bad intention but always to keep open several doors while I decide. However, somehow they suspect it and that's as bad as being exposed, when the person are already convinced. I have now realized that it may enable you to meet several woman at the same time, but before I decide which one to stick to, which is of course extremely important, you have lost their trust already and cannot gain what you intended by lying. I guess there is only one way to gain trust, which is what you want and need and that is not to act as if you're not lying but simply not ever lie
This advice rings pretty true to me. I spent 3 years on the street in my late teens, and you don't survive that life unless you're on your guard at all times. The guys who are at the top of the gangs get there by being as paranoid as possible, and god help you if they ever want to talk to you. If they get even the faintest whiff of a lie from you then that's it. No one is going to find you when they're done with you.
Some people come from bad backgrounds and lie out of personal safety for themselves and sometimes they may do it for so long that it becomes normal and in a way a sense of safety
"One of the advantages to telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you've said". I love this.
Right! I said it over and over again in my head so I’ll remember this quote.
@@usieq9727 Amen to that. 🤓
Yeah but thats thinking of lying from the perspective of someone who is honest, me myself a compulsive liar for many years now will just alter the story and create a new reality right there and then works
So, basically a liar's weakpoint is their memory. Thank you. Pce
Mmmm... Yes and no.
I really do regret all the lies I've ever told because it's never been worth it. Recently I've realized that I lie when I'm insecure or want control of the situation. Hopefully I can tell the truth from now on and stop being so weak
How're you doing?
@Mike Knight That's probably a problem. Be honest about everything - to yourself first and foremost. This doesn't mean open up completely to everyone
You shall get there. We all will
Experiences hard wire your brain during childhood. The likelihood you will truly escape the psychological hole you have dug yourself is low, because most people that do lie are weak like you said and give up before making any real progress because it takes real effort and the ability to admit when you're wrong to be able to change those things. Most people are too ego driven to do it. But when they are 50 and all alone and no one wants their wrinkly narcissistic ass, they will be too far in that hole to EVER escape it and will die alone with no one. No kids, no wife/husband, no friends... nothing. All because they ALLOWED their ego to control their behavior for immediate and temporary self gratification that is meaningless in the grander scheme of things.
Not only that, but liars entirely destroy their own credibility. Completely annihilated. People might believe a few lies at first, but after a while you will say something that contradicts what you said earlier and people will catch on to the lie. It can be the smallest tiniest detail, if it's not consistent with reality and what you say, people get suspicious of you and stop taking what you say as anything that holds real weight and is actually worth listening to. People don't want to waste their time with it. And I dont blame them!
You have to really truly want to change your ways. That desire 100% has to come from within you. No one else. Not from people telling you over and over to stop doing something, because that more often than not makes people do the opposite out of spite (another narcissistic trait I might add).. the desire has to come from you. You have to truly see the upsides to constant truth telling for that desire to really ignite in you. And you'll either develop that desire for authentic change after boxing yourself in with lies so many times over your life and eventually you will get tired of it, because people WILL see through it, or your ego will take 100% possession of your inner self and you'll completely lose what little bit of yourself you have left. I've seen it enough in other people and believe me, you don't want that to happen to you!
It's a vicious cycle of self destruction and the destruction of those in your immediate circle. But that's how it leaves you alone and alienated as life goes on.
As a person who is a truth teller and values authenticity in my daily life, I hope you are able to find a way to see through to the other side and come to the decision that will leave you feeling so much more complete and a well rounded overall happy person. The path you take is up to you, but keep in mind their ends are entirely polar opposite.
Just something to think about... best of luck to you in your endeavors 😎
I lied about myself in relationships. It was painful. I hate being a liar, it's not worth it
Man, what would we do without Jordan's videos?
good point.
vexelreglage not sort ourselves out.
Why would anyone need to pay alot of money to go to a shrink, when they can hear out Prof. Peterson's lectures on TH-cam? Listen and learn from him, and you can work out the demons in your life. He speaks true stuff, he speaks the workings of the mind.
beat off...
We'd be unable to sort ourselves oat
"So the blue fairy shows up…" This is a good video
evening greys lolllllllll
An honest lol there my dude.
Judging the book by the cover I see... CX
evening greys
This is not the mans introduction, this is just an analogy that he brought up during his lecture.
Analogies are the best ways to learn.
THAT'S NATURE
In a sense, liars are thieves. They counterfeit reality to create advantages for themselves.
Not only thieves, but every kind of sinner imaginable. Lies can even lead to death.
Yes true, lies seem to lead to other sins or evils.
Kevin Hornbuckle It's totally possible for the truth to lead to death as well...
The truth might lead do death while a lie might not. Then what is the right decision?
ot chuk sekira, truth does not lead to death, it can only free you. If someone does not want you to be free, a murderer might kill you. Truth does not lead to death, madness leads to death. So whatever truth you suspect might kill you - keep it to yourself until a better time, or unless you absolutely have to say it to save someone.
A liar not only alters and distorts reality and truth....They distort themselves....Clever fable.
Pulling the Strings than your just like everyone else
@@darnellthankya5076 what's wrong with being just like everyone else?
@Pulling the Strings I didn't lie. I actually was too truthful
@@darnellthankya5076 and they took advantage of my friendly nature
That actually is the truth
Not that I hurt them.....
They took advantage and when I was wrecked I made mistakes that every person does
"tell the truth minimally and effectively when you're in a bad situation" wow this is true
Speech +10
10/10 speech + 10 speech = 110/10 speech = 11 speech
I do not speak to public,
I just do not.
#missdiagnozed a 3rd time
@@Real-Name..Maqavoy Oh hi, Mark
I hate a liar more than a thief. Thief wants my salary. Liar wants my reality
@James Toney thats some deep shit bruh
James toney was one if not the greatest of sll time. Best damn shoulder roll defensd i ever saw.
@@atlas1542 i know man that was deep ax fuck
And Issac Newton wants my gravity
The thief and the liar are the same.
A liar steals you the right to know the truth.
Man I would like to be at his class what a privilage for these students just to listen to him
@@markomilan1702 😂
No question he is very experienced in his field of study but if you go to any University you will find the same thing
@@reudensplasher1659 LOL. You have no clue.
Marko Milan yeah but endlessness
Lol you are mate
His speech about twisting the fabrics of reality was so powerful. It made me be a much more honest person. "No one gets to twist the fabric of reality"
It certainly doesn't stop some people from trying.
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said”. What a line that is.
The most common side effect of lying are the pants on fire....
😂😂😂😂
One time this chick in Bethlehem lied about how she got pregnant and that got completely out of control.
😂😂😂😂😂
This cannot be understated.
Could be the answer to spontaneous combustion
"The disposition of a liar is dishonourable, and his shame is ever with him." - Ecclesiasticus, 20:26
"...and the truth will set you free." -Jesus of Nazareth
The book of Ecclesiastes only has 12 chapters. There is no 20:26. Your comment is a lie.
I found your comment very appropriate for the video under discussion but then found that the book of Ecclesiasticus is not the same as Ecclesiastes.
Artur Bondarenco "......and we killed him and we will never wash off the blood"
@@wesskedelly507 He's quoting the apocryphal book Ecclesiasticus, not Ecclesiastes
My memory is terrible, just one more reason why I avoid lying at any cost.
No memory is capable enough to save a single lie - the smallest of truth has the power over all the greatest of lies. It would be so - that nothing would be possible if truth didn't have it so.
Great way to lie and remember your lies is to be conscientious about how you normally talk and what mannerisms you use in normal conversations and apply them into your lies, also never over explain when lying, and most of all, convince yourself that the lie is true. Maybe im just a sociopath but i cant tell you how many horrible things ive gotten away with completely haha. Big issue with that is dealing with the pretty deep guilt when remembering those things though
@@barnacleboi2595 that is correct. I know by experience that some people are just fabulous liars using similar techniques.
@@barnacleboi2595 like what
I hate lying, that's why I still remember my previous lies.
I always say if you make it a habit to practice honesty you'll be able to tell a lie just from hearing it because truth and lies are literally like two different languages
Beautiful ❤️🙏
This statement is naive in nature, it will allow sociopaths and the psychopaths to prey on you.
@RitaMcCloud777He means that if you go into a conversation under the assumption you’ll be able to tell lies from the truth everytime you can easily fall prey to psychopaths whose second nature is basically to lie, charm and manipulate you for their own personal gain. To be naive is to be an easy victim
You’ve fortunately never met an experienced liar. Some people can think quick enough to blend lies fluidly. It’s especially effective when you blend the truth in with a lie.
Liars cause a lot of collateral damage in relationships.
Yes they do! My wife is this way. Trying to fix it but we shall see.
pLeAsE eXpLaIn HoW tHiS wOrKs
How has life been so far?@@battleforutopia1247
There's a reason he's so popular. Nobody else makes such powerful deductions from things like myths and stories and explains how they relate to real life. And explains "why" you shouldn't lie. Not just that you shouldn't.
My initial thought at the start was "I don't have any lies/glad I don't have that problem." Then I remembered some things....
I don't believe you.
You lied to yourself 😂
that's all I do is lie my whole life is a sham
This is all too real for me. I used to be what you might call a compulsive liar and the 'hydra' is an accurate archetypal manifestation of lying. If you take that path far enough you become pathological to the core of your being and that's not a great place to be. If not for JP I wouldn't have seen the error in my ways and i'm trying to live forthrightly, although it's not easy but I can say one thing, it's insurmountably better than living a life of deceit.
how long did you deal with the compulsive lying for before you changed your ways? I'm dealing with this issue currently and am worried I may be in too far to fix it...
Probably 6/7 years? I don't necessarily think so. I kind of think of the lie as contorting yourself to fit into something that isn't you. It's also what you've managed to come up with as the best solution for dealing with whatever problem you have. You just have to let go of the lie but simultaneously see that there's a better solution which is telling the truth in every sense of your being, just like JP says "The truth is the antidote for suffering".
Compulsive lying is a tricky slope. The more frequently you lie the better you get, your lies become truth in your own mind and eventually you are even able to convince yourself of your own lies. You begin to build false realities in your mind and get so sucked up into those realities that you forget about everyone and everything, all you know and care about is the delicate reality you have meticulously constructed within your own mind. You build a fake persona, you begin to watch people, learn what makes them tick and eventually manipulate them to see you as a "God". Relationships fail, because nothing about you was build on truth. So beware. These people are hard to spot and they will drag you into their spiral deception and make you feel as though you are the insane one, and when that happens you are FUCKED. Sociopaths and narcissists are great liars and great manipulators, to the point that it is an art form. But they all have their tells. My advice to you.
David - well said. my personal story is similar.
Hey guys, thanks for this. It's a real edifying post which I thoroughly enjoyed and learned from. I hope others can add to the discussion.
"One of the advantages of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said" That's very true. It's actually very hard to keep the story together when you tell one guy this and the other guy that. Getting caught is so humiliating. It's easier just to tell the truth.
You should never tell lies, and for one simple reason. If you tell a lie, you have to remember it. It stays there in your head, being juggled around always kept on standby, just in case you might need it. However, if you tell the truth, you can forget about it, because whilst lies can change and morph into something else, and you have to remember each and every permutation told to every single person, the truth never changes, it always remains the same, no matter how many times that you tell it.
Then if you hate your boss I suggest you tell them or YOUR lying to yourself, go go it.
@@stevewildeagle965eh?
or maybe keep your mouth shut hahaha@@stevewildeagle965
1:40 -- Judge Judy says that all the time. The ways she catches people in lies is either by looking for inconsistencies in their stories, or failing that by paying attention to when they have to stop and remember what they'd said before.
I love listening to Prof. Peterson's lectures - he has helped me a lot in my own personal life. This is one of the most hard hitting for me though - I grew up with an adoptive mother who was a pathological liar - and today if my wife tells my son its the last one (when she is feeding him for example) and its not the last one I go mental at her and insists that she tells my son the absolute truth no matter how small the lie is. There is no point in lying to others as you are really only lying to yourself!
I hate liars so much. The thing I learned to value in people the most as I grew up was honesty. When I was younger I thought as long as people can't prove reality is different, for example if we hide our motives and feelings, that that is not really lying, since only we know the truth. But thats still lying. People deserve to choose the people they want to have around them. If I am being dishonest about who I am, i am taking away the choice of someone.
Hate?! Hate?! Loathe perhaps. But HATE. When I think of hate i think of the Nazis. Very strong word; be careful how you use it.
I hate honest people who never accept people who are cripplingly lonely until they have to lie to be accepted by them.
@@Supermariocrosser If you have to lie to become accepted, then change so you can be accepted rather than lie about who you are???
If you got negative traits, then lying is a quick fix, actually changing your behaviour will be hard but long lasting and way more rewarding on all planes for everyone involved.
To be honest you sound like you are someone that just want to wallow in misery and have an emotional tampon around to dump your shit on to make yourself feel better.. But i could be wrong.
This man is like Father to most of us , and those kids . What a great honest man , telling a true learning kids how life really is. Most teacher do not learn us about real life.
Pretty much , he is soo wise .
If you must lie ,lie in the arms of the one you love…
If you must cheat, try to cheat death…
If you must steal, steal every precious moment you have together…
My dearest friend once said, "I figured out as I grew up that telling a lie puts me in opposition to the universe, and sets me on a path that cannot serve me."
I think that's the best explanation of what happens when we lie that I've ever heard.
Thank you for sharing , i have never heard that phrase before , powerful .
Jordan helped me stop lying by just listening to what he has to say about it, i lied about everything. About stuff that don’t even matter but I did because it was an old habit I had my whole life. Thank you Jordan ❤️
It's the coverup, always the coverup. Pride forbids the dishonest person from admitting their fault. Or they might be an entitled narcissist who genuinely believes their own lies.
Liars lie because they're afraid of the consequences of telling an uncomfortable truth. Then they become afraid of people discovering that they've lied. Don't be so harsh on them, show them that you won't judge them negatively for being truthful
Frito Not in every case, like narcissistics who sometimes lie in order to keep their dominance and other things they get from their manipulation on others, and when confronted with facts they cannot run from, turn in denial and violent as if they where outraged.
Miau Frito exactly understanding from others is key
Miau Frito they are very hard on themselves.
MIke does the truth always come out?
I've been the victim of a cover -up.
I love Jordan Peterson, he strips away all the unnecessary and reminds me of the truths I knew before the world blur the lines.
5:40 I once told someone a lie, then they told other people and I had to create lies for the lie and it grew exponentially. I created this entire tree of lies on the spot and still remember it all. I didn't expect him to tell other people that we just met.
My respect for this man is HUGE
For the most part people don't care if they lie, they want what they want in that moment and if lying gets it for you - then who cares "the end justifies the means". They throw away everything about themselves of worth when they lie and they don't care. They just want what they want for the moment. And then they wonder why people don't respect them, or think they have anything worth saying.
I always say if you don't think people know you are lying - think again, just because they don't call you out doesn't mean you got away with anything ... you just become known as a liar and from this day forth, nothing you say is believable - you have lost any and all credibility. But the people in this world don't really care about being a person of substance.
But you have to be someone who cares what someone outside of you thinks about for anything you said to matter, which means you need others to validate you.
Everyone wants others to validate them. The idea that they don't is another deception, although it's worthwhile to forego this desire at times when the cost of validation is higher than its actual worth.
I am not afraid, I was born to do this.... excellent synopsis! Ive found that all liars are complete hypocrites. Im surrounded by liars and a group of people who blame every mistake on others. No accountability. It disgusts me!!!
I completely agree with your statement
thats pure narcisism in action
He is absolutely right about paranoid people. I'm quite a paranoid person and people don't realize how much I am paying attention to their every action and word and that it is stored for a very long time. I can understand a 'white lie', sure you didn't want to hurt some frail persons feelings, but I certain things you say or do will make me not trust you for a long time, or think less of you in general, especially when certain connections are made, such as noticing a contradiction.
Saying things behind peoples backs, racial undertones, violent undertones, suspicious silence(eg conversation halting when a particular person nears, or when a particular topic comes up), who you are paying the most attention to, if you are paying attention to me, tapping on the desk(are you impatient? nervous?), this is a short list of things I am taking in of everyone I interact with or am surrounded by. By brain is trapped in an analytical process, so if there is some kind of contradiction or connection it's...well it's not always a "red flag", but it's like a 'spidey sense' this little light bulb goes off, the feeling of 'oh I get what is going on here'.
The default position is not negative though, you have to earn suspicion. Problem is that it doesn't take long for most people to doing something immoral, but this means you feel very comfortable with those that consistently don't take negative action.
Lies are a really bad one, people might be violent out of emotional outburst, or say means things, or be greedy, whatever, but there is calm intent with a lie, and it shakes the core of the trust between us. I don't feel comfortable talking to about anything personal, leaving you near my possessions, or hold any weight in your opinions.
I don't want to make it sound so black and white, but hard to summarize without extreme length.
"You go to great length to explain an insignificant event." -Raul Julia, 'Tequila Sunrise'
@@genofire3304 Let's be friends.
The default is, and should be, "you have to earn trust". Which is why I'm hyper-aware around nice people (but almost instantly feel guilty about it, which then kick-starts an interesting cycle of reactions).
My wife is that way... I’m getting far away from her... don’t like the surveillance... and she was so concerned about me lying and turns out she’s the biggest liar I’ve ever met!!!
You just seem like an extreme empath. Maybe you should do an eq test.
I also do the same and scored rather high.
these college students have no idea how lucky they are to have this guy as a professor
I was in a relationship with a paranoid and violent girl. I was in the habit of being liberal with the truth, and god - I wish I had heard this lecture back then. Often I thought the safest thing to do would be to hold back details or obscure the truth or just outright lie to her so as not to make her upset or angry… not that I ever did anything that wrong, but she was so paranoid that even the littlest thing would set her off and so I tried my best to avoid that at all costs. Peterson is absolutely right - lying is the worst thing you could do in that situation. It made her paranoia so much worse. I might have avoided a lot of hell if I had been careful and given her the truth to work with instead. It was a horrible experience but it taught me a lot about the value of truth, and I have made a point of being an honest person ever since.
She might have had bipolar disorder
In order to be good at reading a liar, you have to have been around them. Some people lie like it's a language. People call being honest,"blunt". I don't know any other way to be. If truth bothers you, you'll loathe my company. When you don't give a damn and feel that you have nothing to prove, you won't feel the need to lie.
Having helped raise my kids , I learned why some people lie. It's because they are afraid, they learn they can escape the nastiness . But then they don't learn the consequences long term . It all starts in childhood but in these modern times its not PC to hold children to account . It's not going to end well .
Always amazes me how he says things that make perfect and self-evident sense, but I would never think of it myself.
I lied a lot in life and have recently changed to become a better person. It’s not good to lie. It’s better to accept yourself and accept things for what they are.
I think it’s great that he has those moments that connect us to him, like when he says “Anthony Weiner... what a great name for him”. It shows us that not everything he thinks is intellectual and important, but he can also laugh at silly things as well
Peterson is just an absolute monster I love it.
Luke Schreiter how?
I think he means in his way of explaining things, because he's so clever and well spoken. I don't think he meant monster as in "bad person".
Neither of these comments are sense-able to a degree of understand the train of thought.
Adam Maqavoy he meant it like hes a beast
Socrates was asked what is the consequence of telling a lie. He replied "The next time you tell the truth, you may not be believed."
5:27 "The problem with lying is that, it's a hydra"
Cut off one situation with a lie, two more shall take its place. :p
being truthful to the point of hurting people is bad too
@@blob5907 The truth hurts by default. Since we all want to hear the truth, we should be prepared to face the inevitable hurt.
@@tolutaiwo5416 did you not hear what jordan peterson said about the truth?
I understand that reference
The need to be honest & truthful is SO underrated , particularly by the (unexperienced ) young.
If one gets a reputation as a liar, people will judge you negatively on many more issues. It is a character-flaw & those who have it also,generally, have other flaws. It will stick with you for the rest of your life.
From truth flows ...
Trustworthiness
Dependability
Morality
Personal Responsibility
Self awareness
"Good-ness"
Humility
& many more...
If someone lies to me, I evaluate them as being not worthy of my time or effort. I will avoid any form of engagement with them ... because... well, they are frauds, no good can come from engaging with such a person.
Just my 2c.
Loving the JP lectures.. 😎👍
Yes. Liars are time wasters. Every minute you spend with a liar is a wasted minute with no refund.
I usually don’t like Jordan Peterson but I needed to hear this one. I recently just confessed to a lie I told my girlfriend for years. I tried to project this image of myself that isn’t true. I feel like such a rotten person and that hasn’t gone away since fessing up. But I feel better now that I’ve put away this one. Please don’t be that guy. Stop it before it gets worse, it’s a disease
If you don’t lie the other person will and they will look better then you because of those lies and they will be in a better position, you need to lie strategically
More often than not there is no reason to lie. Sometimes it's easier to ""not speak"". We don't need to answer all questions. We have the right to keep our mouths shut , especially when gossipy and nosey people ask us questions.
Sometimes not speaking is wrong coz we'll be the victim here and they won't see that they're wrong
Not speaking can also make you look more dubious by providing no feedback that will implicate you and no I'm not talking about time to process incoming information when you have all the information, I'm talking about having received all the information and realising give been caught.. especially when she says loudly " I slept with him... Is that what you want to hear? My ultimate response is.. only if that's what happened.... After that the subject was off limits but she left the room after she shut it down which indicates to me she wants to distance herself of the topic..
Amen 🙏
you can tell Jordan has dealt with his fair share of everything & everyone that has led him to obtain his vast wisdom
I live my life like an open book.
It helps me deal with my insecurities.
I accept them so that I cant get too hurt.
It can hurt but I can get to terms with it quickly.
Peace of mind is the real treasure in life.
'Honesty is a relative virtue' and 'It's ok to break the rules . . . if it creates value' are worth contemplating.
Jeez Mr. Peterson sure went through some kind of hell to have gathered the knowledge he has gathered.
The worst thing about lying is when you get drunk and reveal every lie you've told yourself
I think it’s karma...hilarious karma
Are these students aware of how blessed they are to have JBP as their prof?!
LeanneGC101 I love that Jesus picture- I made a massive poster using that exact same painting and it’s stunning- good on you
I dont think the apostles even knew how blessed they were. You don't know what you got till its raved about by others who don't have it.
I really love , the way professor Jordan peterson, gives his lectures, I wish I was there at that time. but what is truly wonderful is I get to watch him any hour of the day or night,
Weed is 100% detrimental to my physical, emotional and mental well being. I started at 13, and proceeded to smoke it in the mind set that it's not bad for me and I enjoy it. this was the mind set until I was late 17 and I realised how much of a grasp weed has over me financially and socially. I'm 19 now and started my Inc
If you lie to be nice , don't talk on people who lie for something else , both work for the same company
My ex is an addict and he would go on occasional meth binges and it would make him super paranoid and violent. I found out on my own that telling the truth in those situations was best. Do not be mindlessly nice to those people- just be very straight forward with them. They are hyper vigilant and will notice in discrepancy in your facial expressions. He would imagine in his head that I had some secret plan to get him in trouble (which I didn’t) or to hurt him in some way.
There are lies and then there are LIES it's a strong word that we should use carefully because once you call out a lier it is never the same again especially when it is the truth! Always be honest
I hate that I lie alot because I'm afraid of judgment I think if I loved myself more and had confidence I wouldn't lie at all
What have just happned MADE MY DAY!
I looked at the video and said: "This video really needs Arabic translation"; then BAM, Arabic subtitles were automatically ON.
THANKS FOR WHOM EVER TRANSLATED THIS TO ARABIC
IF you want to lie you need to accept every consequence
It's hard to determine who tells the most lies real estate agents or attorneys. But those two have to be in a top 5
I learned to lie very early in life for self preservation i think the hardest part is keeping your story straight and the way to do that was tell as much truth as you can i still lie to my mom every day to keep ny relationship with my underage siblings that i raised and i dont feel bad for it because i cannot abandon them.
I used to lie all the time , actually for along period of my life i haven’t once said something true .until i started mixing up between what actually happened and what i imagined, its a very hard process to heal from cause at some point u believe those lies and they part of u , u have to separate what actually happened from what u told urself happened and then erase it. To people who can’t lie .that a blessing itself. Keep it
"advantage of telling the truth is that i dont have to remember what i said" ... im so lazy to remember shit im sold on this
I had an acutely paranoid-schizophrenic brother. I really really wish that people knew more that honesty, genuineness, and consideration are KEY. They are way smarter emotionally in a way.
Everyone lies sometimes. Even a nervous fake smile is a lie if you get down to it, and we have all done that. I don't think lying is inherently bad, it just depends on the situation. I do agree that keeping lies up, doubling down on them, can create a heavy burden for yourself though. I guess it's all about picking your battles.
My family are such assholes, I had to lie to protect myself from them even though I haven't lived with them for decades. Since getting rid of them, I haven't had to tell one lie because no one around me tries to mess with me. Sometimes if you have to lie to feel safe around people, just cut them off.
Side affect of telling lies? To become compulsive with lie detection. Its a very useful thing to have. I'm surprised how many don't really want to know....
I like how Jordan PEterson describes that kind of dynamic. Since as we get older our perception is less reliable controlling people are at way higher risk of becoming paranoid. That kind of person who is very controlling getting old too is not always somebody who is big. Since all of us in that one respect start gettiing old at around age 8 then a whole lot of chaos can unfold from just one lie. Amid all of the killers in the world everywhere else who fight for honor even if they know it is going to kill them.
5:50
This so takes me back to play acting my dad did with me to instill in me just what Jordan's saying.
Clever people can get away with a few lies but I never could.
This is pretty solid. I grew up in a fishing family. There's not a bigger buncha liars on earth. I grew up lying like crazy... I didn't know it was bad to lie, as everyone around me did it all day every day. I was the only one to go to collage in my family, and what an awakening it was to meet folks who don't lie n don't cheat. I made REAL friends who cared and respected me. I obviously only go home for holiday's now. I stay away from my crazy family. They all lie so much and about such small petty things. It's UNREAL, all one can do is just nod and play along, as calling them out makes me the enemy.
This is a good summary-- Lies are like a Hydra, new heads appear for every head the lie kills.
i used to think small funny lies are harmless, until my friends describe me as a liar, that actually break my heart
But you are if you do ..
@@iThiink im still telling lies as jokes now but i tell them it was a lie right after, work like a charm, stil got the laugh out of em and no karma afterward xD
Lies ruin society. The bonds of trust are the glue between people. Trust is glue.
I see the effects of lies when someone makes up a lie about you behind your back. At work a co worker was drinking on the job. They found the bottles and the guy blamed me. Told them I was drinking..Almost lost my job.
Liars are admired more than honest individuals.
Real eyes realize real lies
Bleh. That has a terrible ring to it
It’s refreshing and grounding to listen to what this wise man has to say.
Clinton ran into the same problem with the smoking weed question. Seriously, just admit it! It got way bigger than it should have been.
Both Clintons, HRC & WJC, proved themselves incapable of holding a consistent truth or reality, other than what they said, goes...for a while.
A very *long* while. They set the lowered-bar standard we'll live with for several more decades.
He admitted he smoked marijuana and it became a nonissue. He lied about having a sexual relationship with Monica Lewinsky and it followed him (and her) forever.
Bill has also lied about being on Paedo Island with Prince Andrew and their blackmailer Epstein..who is now dead.
I can't thank you enough for condensing these lectures!
REMEMBER LIARS AND THIEFS ARE SIBLINGS. IF YOU STEAL YOU LIE TOO, and vice versa.
1:40 “One of the advantages of telling the truth is that you don’t have to remember what you said.” Being thorough-through and through-is your best defense in an argument. Lying is akin to setting up booby-traps for your future self.
I hate myself. I had lied to my parents. I lied others. Cause I’m insecure and want some kind of control. And He’s right. I guess I am evil. But I’m just so addicted to lying that I lied to myself. It hurts me that I can’t even describe it. Sad that I grew up watching Pinocchio, yet being an 21 year old. I ironically became Pinocchio and Peter Pan in Peterson’s case… No wonder I feel so depressed. Am I the only one who feels this way?
You're not alone man
Why not write a journal of your daily life activities truthfully.
So that it keeps you grounded in the direction of truth.
Sometimes it may be good to lie, but mostly it's better to tell the truth
I tell the truth. Nothing to do with honesty. Just hate having to remember lies and living with guilt.
The Truth never forgets tho
i came back for a retroactive like from the linked video in description, INCLUDED A TIMELINK TOO. Amazing channel management really appreciate the commitment
Although I strive to be honest (and place a high value on honesty, and regard it as virtuous), I want to say that - at some deep level or other - it's impossible to be truthful to either ourselves or others.
Perception is reality
"You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals..."
That's awesome man. 20k is a good chunk. I just got to get my foot further in the door to make bigger moves. That's also a good idea tho. I'm just glad I'm out of cooking now I can set bigger plans. But their is allot of opportunity to grow in this company. Glad ur doing good an I'm thankful that I have your support Todd. I couldn't of done it without you talking seance into me.
3:49 so if they ask if you are afraid you should just tell them: "I'll give you an example... One time I was at an airpot....."
clicked on your timestamp and literally started laughing. your comment fit so well.
Would like to see a video on ppl who have an inability to lie??and do so many ppl lie that it is hard to find those who do not?
I have ADHD and I always end up telling most people,”think before you speak, because I, am paying attention”. I guess now I know I am hyper vigilant!
Its a dark world without Jordan Peterson.
I want to hear the rest of the airport story!
FlatEarthHypothesis cliffhanger
Cliffhanger... He told his story to the cop, The cop didn't care and asked him to move to the other line and he did EXACTLY what the officer said (as planned). ;-)
@louis p constant : that sounds realistic.
I'm grateful that he recorded his lectures.
You can't be honest and insecure at the same time. Anyone who has codependent tendencies will become a liar at some point.
Why?
You can be both, the problem is if you can admit it.
The downside is always loss in the end, loss of that you intended to get by lying, often more than that. I know this because I have the extremely unpleasant experience of finding out. I usually only lie when dating, not for bad intention but always to keep open several doors while I decide. However, somehow they suspect it and that's as bad as being exposed, when the person are already convinced. I have now realized that it may enable you to meet several woman at the same time, but before I decide which one to stick to, which is of course extremely important, you have lost their trust already and cannot gain what you intended by lying. I guess there is only one way to gain trust, which is what you want and need and that is not to act as if you're not lying but simply not ever lie
This advice rings pretty true to me. I spent 3 years on the street in my late teens, and you don't survive that life unless you're on your guard at all times. The guys who are at the top of the gangs get there by being as paranoid as possible, and god help you if they ever want to talk to you. If they get even the faintest whiff of a lie from you then that's it. No one is going to find you when they're done with you.
Some people come from bad backgrounds and lie out of personal safety for themselves and sometimes they may do it for so long that it becomes normal and in a way a sense of safety