I’ve been deeply depressed for a week not knowing why, came across your page yesterday and watched all your videoes and this is the first day i don’t feel hopeless and beaten down, Thank you 🌷
Most of these I can relate to, but "Rebelling against things I have to do" is the topic that really caught my ear as I do not remember you ever mentioning this in your other videos or in the healing sessions. A separate video on this would be much appreciated :) For me this comes out mostly with repetitive, boring and senseless tasks at work, creating reports noone will read, doing someone else's tasks etc. After doing these tasks for a while I often have a feeling I want to scream or run away, whilst I tell myself it's better to get it over with as fast as possible so stay and sit through it. I also managed to cause myself to feel physical pain while doing my hobby because I pushed myself too far around Christmas (COVID restrictions, no social life, not much work, bad memory associations with the holidays coupled with "I have to at least get better at my hobby if I do not want to waste this period of my life"-like perfectionism). And my hobby is not extreme sports, it simply hurt like hell to sit down and paint as some postural muscles contracted involuntarily... My inner child just got enough of my demands, apparently...
I’m in the midst of healing & overwhelmed by how much there is to overcome…ahhh crashing. These topics don’t just come up in relationships, they are front & center in all areas of my life & it’s exhausting. Glad to have the program & this community nonetheless
Just take it one step at a time Jen! You really don't have to do everything immediately. Every single little thing you heal will give you more freedom, a different perspective and more calm. The healing will become easier and easier.
Love the videos! The whole perfectionist piece is hard. Overall would live to hear specific thing to heal. Can you do a video on that and maybe one on your own story?
I've said this so many times, but I always feel so seen and understood after watching your videos Paulien!!💕🙏 I struggle so very much with believing feelings! Thoughts are one thing, but feelings feel totally convincing to me, and I identify so deeply with them, assign huge meaning, etc. I'm still not sure how to NOT buy into feeling totally unattracted to this amazing person in my life, into not feeling in love, etc.! I don't get clarity moments like many FAs do, which is all the more triggering. Also, I sooo relate to the resistance to doing what others tell me to do!😅 Thank you always!! Hugs!
Thank you so much for this content. I am so happy i found your channel and i am on the waitlist for your program which I am so excited for! I have watched almost all of your videos and noticed that your face shows signs of mouth breathing/low tongue posture because i similarly struggled with it. I think mouth breathing can be caused by trauma but it tends to silently cause many other issues in the body. I hope this does not come across as critical in any way, you are a very beautiful person inside and out.. simply something that i feel bringing awareness to could greatly benefit your life because it only takes mindfulness to solve the problem. I hope I haven’t offended you and again I am very grateful for your work. I truly feel understood here in a way that i never have.
Hey Paulien, love the video 🥰 I think some of my fa comes from getting praise for being perfect and emotional disconnection for not. Now, I have severe anxiety about picking the "right" partner. Would love to see a video on perfectionism
Paulienne / thank I so much for your channel! I would love to hear more on the being saved concept- how to recognize patterns of being in victim consciousness vs receiving healthy support and also how fear of taking responsibility and staying powerless plays into this? Can you have a video on the fear of committing long term to relationship and career also? I notice my attachment affects my relationships and career as two main areas in my life where so much confusion Can you talk about constantly comparing if there is someone better than your current partner also? This is an ocd recurring thought I have that what if I can find better or find someone better looking / healthier/ better aligned etc? Not trusting myself Is also a huge one for me - if you can share a video on points to understand and heal on this I would so appreciate . Mantras for tapping for being powerful ? I started tapping with the core wounds , fears and wants after starting to watch your videos but not sure if I’m hitting these correctly….I’m on your waitlist for the program and hope to get in! Thank u for all your insight to share this. It’s already changing my relationship in positive ways with my current man , who truly is so amazing and wonderful …which scares me even more to believe he and we are so good! Lol
mmm also ive been seeing this one play out more in this week (which i have heard you touch on) - the fear that i will leave or cheat on my partner....leave them for someone else / fall in love with someone else. kinda falls back into the concept of finding someone "better than" my current partner and choosing or being "wrong" on my choice! SUCH a hard time trusting myself to make decisions especially big life ones. thank you again!
Is this a fearful avoidant trait? That any time I need to do something stressful, such as go to work, or do a task that I know is going to be stressful, I get so tired I feel like I can’t do it. I get so tired all I want to do is go to bed. 😔 it’s a huge problem in my life.
Hey am in a long distance relationship and am absolutely an FA we were going so well until we met i deactivated and then when he went back i explained how i felt and now we're trying to work it out, my question is how do i do that in a long distance relationship? Do i take a break to try and heal myself but i feel i will deactivate and lose anything i have left of feelings or do i keep the communication?
still waiting for the course in English 🙃 would looove to have it, at a point where I feel like I need to work really hard to heal before I lose this person in my life 💔
i was doing so good i was about 2 months clean and when i would have a tiny relapse i would catch myself and move on. now i’m stuck in a hole for a week. please help i was so happy :(
I always feel a bit calmer and more normal after these video
Yes, would love a video on being saved, and escaping the victim role! Thanks for all that you do. 🤗
I wrote down TWO video ideas on this! I could make a million, haha :) What do you want to know specifically?
the idea about FA taking thoughts and feelings too seriously and judging them is LIFE CHANGING!! didn't notice this about myself until now.
So happy to hear this is valuable to you!!❤
I’ve been deeply depressed for a week not knowing why, came across your page yesterday and watched all your videoes and this is the first day i don’t feel hopeless and beaten down, Thank you 🌷
Most of these I can relate to, but "Rebelling against things I have to do" is the topic that really caught my ear as I do not remember you ever mentioning this in your other videos or in the healing sessions. A separate video on this would be much appreciated :) For me this comes out mostly with repetitive, boring and senseless tasks at work, creating reports noone will read, doing someone else's tasks etc. After doing these tasks for a while I often have a feeling I want to scream or run away, whilst I tell myself it's better to get it over with as fast as possible so stay and sit through it.
I also managed to cause myself to feel physical pain while doing my hobby because I pushed myself too far around Christmas (COVID restrictions, no social life, not much work, bad memory associations with the holidays coupled with "I have to at least get better at my hobby if I do not want to waste this period of my life"-like perfectionism). And my hobby is not extreme sports, it simply hurt like hell to sit down and paint as some postural muscles contracted involuntarily... My inner child just got enough of my demands, apparently...
I just recorded a video on rebelling yesterday!! It will be out in 2 or 3 weeks! You are definitely not the only one struggling with this
I’m in the midst of healing & overwhelmed by how much there is to overcome…ahhh crashing. These topics don’t just come up in relationships, they are front & center in all areas of my life & it’s exhausting. Glad to have the program & this community nonetheless
Just take it one step at a time Jen! You really don't have to do everything immediately. Every single little thing you heal will give you more freedom, a different perspective and more calm. The healing will become easier and easier.
I recognized most of these on myself. Your kind, compassionate and caring style brought tears to my eyes. I truly appreciate you and your content.
Love the videos! The whole perfectionist piece is hard. Overall would live to hear specific thing to heal. Can you do a video on that and maybe one on your own story?
I've put it on the list!
I've said this so many times, but I always feel so seen and understood after watching your videos Paulien!!💕🙏
I struggle so very much with believing feelings! Thoughts are one thing, but feelings feel totally convincing to me, and I identify so deeply with them, assign huge meaning, etc. I'm still not sure how to NOT buy into feeling totally unattracted to this amazing person in my life, into not feeling in love, etc.! I don't get clarity moments like many FAs do, which is all the more triggering.
Also, I sooo relate to the resistance to doing what others tell me to do!😅
Thank you always!! Hugs!
Thank you. 💕
I recognize myself in all of them. Haha! So grateful to have found this channel! Thank youuu.
Thank you so much for this content. I am so happy i found your channel and i am on the waitlist for your program which I am so excited for! I have watched almost all of your videos and noticed that your face shows signs of mouth breathing/low tongue posture because i similarly struggled with it. I think mouth breathing can be caused by trauma but it tends to silently cause many other issues in the body. I hope this does not come across as critical in any way, you are a very beautiful person inside and out.. simply something that i feel bringing awareness to could greatly benefit your life because it only takes mindfulness to solve the problem. I hope I haven’t offended you and again I am very grateful for your work. I truly feel understood here in a way that i never have.
Interesting, never heard of it! Will look into it :) Happy you are here!!
Would love to see a video on rebelling... It's a challenging subject and I haven't seen anything about it in the attachment theory context.
I've put it on the list!
Hey Paulien, love the video 🥰 I think some of my fa comes from getting praise for being perfect and emotional disconnection for not. Now, I have severe anxiety about picking the "right" partner. Would love to see a video on perfectionism
A video on Relationship-perfectionism? :) The signs and how to overcome it?
@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 Yes, that would be extremely helpful. Thankyou!
Thank you so much love!! xo
this is so helpful
I feel fatigue or sadness whenever I try to learn any information around healing. Is there anything you would suggest?
Hi Ashley! It could actually be trauma already coming up with you thinking about healing, wanting to be released!
is FA attachment style related to the tendency to procrastinate in any way?.....if yes....please consider making a video on it!!
Yes! I actually immediately after reading your comment made a video on it :) It will be out in a couple of weeks!
@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 wowww.....thank you so so much!!
I'll wait till then....
sending lots of love and light your way!
How wanting to be saved go along with the extreme independence and fear of codependency of FA?
You the best.
I only fear making mistakes when others see it.
Paulienne / thank I so much for your channel!
I would love to hear more on the being saved concept- how to recognize patterns of being in victim consciousness vs receiving healthy support and also how fear of taking responsibility and staying powerless plays into this?
Can you have a video on the fear of committing long term to relationship and career also? I notice my attachment affects my relationships and career as two main areas in my life where so much confusion
Can you talk about constantly comparing if there is someone better than your current partner also? This is an ocd recurring thought I have that what if I can find better or find someone better looking / healthier/ better aligned etc?
Not trusting myself Is also a huge one for me - if you can share a video on points to understand and heal on this I would so appreciate .
Mantras for tapping for being powerful ? I started tapping with the core wounds , fears and wants after starting to watch your videos but not sure if I’m hitting these correctly….I’m on your waitlist for the program and hope to get in!
Thank u for all your insight to share this. It’s already changing my relationship in positive ways with my current man , who truly is so amazing and wonderful …which scares me even more to believe he and we are so good! Lol
These are all such good questions/topics Alex! I'm putting them all on the list!
thank you paulienne! you are helping me and others so much!@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870
mmm also ive been seeing this one play out more in this week (which i have heard you touch on) - the fear that i will leave or cheat on my partner....leave them for someone else / fall in love with someone else. kinda falls back into the concept of finding someone "better than" my current partner and choosing or being "wrong" on my choice! SUCH a hard time trusting myself to make decisions especially big life ones.
thank you again!
Personally I didn’t scoff at the idea that everything will be ok in the end. I had to fight a surge of actual anger 😂
❤
Is this a fearful avoidant trait? That any time I need to do something stressful, such as go to work, or do a task that I know is going to be stressful, I get so tired I feel like I can’t do it. I get so tired all I want to do is go to bed. 😔 it’s a huge problem in my life.
Hey am in a long distance relationship and am absolutely an FA we were going so well until we met i deactivated and then when he went back i explained how i felt and now we're trying to work it out, my question is how do i do that in a long distance relationship? Do i take a break to try and heal myself but i feel i will deactivate and lose anything i have left of feelings or do i keep the communication?
Hey, how did it work out for you? :)
still waiting for the course in English 🙃 would looove to have it, at a point where I feel like I need to work really hard to heal before I lose this person in my life 💔
It will be done before the end of summer!! Want to get it to you as fast as possible
@@paulientimmer-healingthefe9870 is there an update to this?
i was doing so good i was about 2 months clean and when i would have a tiny relapse i would catch myself and move on. now i’m stuck in a hole for a week. please help i was so happy :(
Why does fearful avoidance sound exactly like narcissism????
ENFPs find Entrepreneurship fulfilling. As an INTP I do not.