I really can’t describe how helpful these videos have been. Just being aware of my attachment style was one thing. But listening to you explain your story and your process has been a game changer with helping me regulate. Thank you!
Paulien, I found your channel by accident when I was in a very low state a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been watching nonstop since then. Finding you was like divine intervention. I can’t believe that I’m experiencing everything you talk about in almost every video. I thought I was a freak. I felt like a terrible person even though I knew I wasn’t. Thank you for being here.
I can't tell you how powerful this video feels for me. Your kind words are very very timely. Thank you for what you do. It's a difficult attachment style to work on, but your videos help me get on my feet and keep trying 💜
oh wow, today I asked God why he won't just take my life (I really hope he doesn't!), shortly after this video was uploaded. You're a blessing to all of us Paulien!
Thank you for this topic. I used to have these thoughts too. What helped me was psychadelics (not saying that anyone should try them!) - I realized I should not believe everything I think or even see with my own eyes. Also, it was a really bad trip and I realized that I might get stuck in it for eternity if I do not solve my problems here, while I can. Since then I never had a suicidal thought for more than 1 second.
"what if nobody expected anything from you and you could not fail" I wasn't going to listen to this video but I'm glad I did. Suicide-adjacent thoughts were actually what finally got me to seek therapy a number of years ago, and I'm so glad I did.
Thank you so much, Pauliene, for making this video for me and other FA’s. ❤️ I truly did take away something wonderful. How the shame and suicidal thoughts wouldn’t be there, if I didn’t live as if I had to impress or please people. And that i’m worthy just as I am. It really helps me to gain a better perspective… and to stop the suffering i get from those thoughts. I’m assuming it’s all co-dependency related. Thank you, you’re truly a light in this world!
This video couldn’t have come at a more opportune time! Thank you so much. I have been struggling with exactly these feelings today and your message came from the heart and really helped to make me not feel alone and give me hope that this feeling is transient and can be fuel for my greater happiness in long run. I would be really interested to know more about how you came out of the situation of being driven mad by the competing feelings of wanting to leave a relationship and at the same time not wanting to. It’s the worst kind of hell and brings with it all sorts of feelings of shame and pain and I don’t know what to do about it. It feels like I don’t know my own mind and what’s my attachment and what is love ❤
I get them every time I get attacks and my nervous system is activated I just wanted to die so I don’t feel the pain anymore all the shame and pain I feel I can’t control my feelings and I am handicapped and can’t do what I dream of because i suffer from the condition And you helped me to realize it’s the fear of also losing control and the paradox of needing to control and to release…I’ve never felt so understood I love you thank you
This describes my exact situation. I feel afraid to leave and to go so now the box is so small and uncomfortable. Those thoughts can seem like a better alternative when feeling hopelessly stuck, directionless, aimless the dramatic lows can get pretty dark. I know in my gut that no one is being that harsh, judgmental or critical of me than I am being with myself and that weather I stay or go there really isn't a "wrong" choice and I am the only keeping myself stuck.
Pauline, as a FA I have been single all my life...I m in my late 20s, I find looking actively for relationship exhausting and Iooking back I have avoided getting into relationship....I want to be in healthy relationship, can you make a video for a forever single person to help them persist through the process , not give up/run away and find the one. I ll be grateful
Last week i felt extremely suicidal. Like i could visualise it clearly. I felt like i am misusing my imagination. And feeling so shameful that i want to crawl into a hole and bury myself in it. I cannot do that to my family. I have a pack of sleeping pills and i also thought to take them all and never wake up in the morning. But the thought of my family screaming next morning stopped me. I am in a relationship Nd moving to the next stage of marriage but i felt such synchronicity when you said that you dont want to leave but you cannot stay like this. I should seek a therapist. Im not able to manage myself.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I agree, I would advice you to seek professional help and talk about this. Sending you lost of love and healing.
I really can’t describe how helpful these videos have been. Just being aware of my attachment style was one thing. But listening to you explain your story and your process has been a game changer with helping me regulate. Thank you!
I'm so happy to hear, and thank you for being here! (in all the ways)
Thank you so much for everything you do and share. Your little corner of TH-cam is a very comforting, uplifting place.
Paulien, I found your channel by accident when I was in a very low state a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been watching nonstop since then. Finding you was like divine intervention. I can’t believe that I’m experiencing everything you talk about in almost every video. I thought I was a freak. I felt like a terrible person even though I knew I wasn’t. Thank you for being here.
I also found her videos at my lowest and she lifted me up saving my life and so much suffering it’s so from the heart❤❤❤
I can't tell you how powerful this video feels for me. Your kind words are very very timely. Thank you for what you do. It's a difficult attachment style to work on, but your videos help me get on my feet and keep trying 💜
oh wow, today I asked God why he won't just take my life (I really hope he doesn't!), shortly after this video was uploaded. You're a blessing to all of us Paulien!
Thank you for this topic. I used to have these thoughts too. What helped me was psychadelics (not saying that anyone should try them!) - I realized I should not believe everything I think or even see with my own eyes. Also, it was a really bad trip and I realized that I might get stuck in it for eternity if I do not solve my problems here, while I can. Since then I never had a suicidal thought for more than 1 second.
"what if nobody expected anything from you and you could not fail"
I wasn't going to listen to this video but I'm glad I did. Suicide-adjacent thoughts were actually what finally got me to seek therapy a number of years ago, and I'm so glad I did.
Thank you so much for making videos. I didn’t know who else to turn to.
The worst thing is probably realizing that you made some of life's biggest decisions under completely false pretenses.
The fact that you grasp that is a good thing tho
Thank you so much, Pauliene, for making this video for me and other FA’s. ❤️
I truly did take away something wonderful. How the shame and suicidal thoughts wouldn’t be there, if I didn’t live as if I had to impress or please people. And that i’m worthy just as I am. It really helps me to gain a better perspective… and to stop the suffering i get from those thoughts. I’m assuming it’s all co-dependency related.
Thank you, you’re truly a light in this world!
This video couldn’t have come at a more opportune time! Thank you so much. I have been struggling with exactly these feelings today and your message came from the heart and really helped to make me not feel alone and give me hope that this feeling is transient and can be fuel for my greater happiness in long run. I would be really interested to know more about how you came out of the situation of being driven mad by the competing feelings of wanting to leave a relationship and at the same time not wanting to. It’s the worst kind of hell and brings with it all sorts of feelings of shame and pain and I don’t know what to do about it. It feels like I don’t know my own mind and what’s my attachment and what is love ❤
I have so much love and respect for you, Paulien... such a heartfelt message. Thank you! ❤
I get them every time I get attacks and my nervous system is activated I just wanted to die so I don’t feel the pain anymore all the shame and pain I feel I can’t control my feelings and I am handicapped and can’t do what I dream of because i suffer from the condition
And you helped me to realize it’s the fear of also losing control and the paradox of needing to control and to release…I’ve never felt so understood I love you thank you
15:08 - 16.28 game changer speech. 🙏🥺✨
This describes my exact situation. I feel afraid to leave and to go so now the box is so small and uncomfortable. Those thoughts can seem like a better alternative when feeling hopelessly stuck, directionless, aimless the dramatic lows can get pretty dark. I know in my gut that no one is being that harsh, judgmental or critical of me than I am being with myself and that weather I stay or go there really isn't a "wrong" choice and I am the only keeping myself stuck.
Thank you, Paulien! I can't believe this popped up today.
Blessed YT algorithm. It's good I foud this video in this moment. Thank you
Just realize that shame was put there by others. Figure out who put it there, and free yourself once you find and process it.
Thank you Pauline 💗💗💗
Pauline, as a FA I have been single all my life...I m in my late 20s, I find looking actively for relationship exhausting and Iooking back I have avoided getting into relationship....I want to be in healthy relationship, can you make a video for a forever single person to help them persist through the process , not give up/run away and find the one. I ll be grateful
Last week i felt extremely suicidal. Like i could visualise it clearly. I felt like i am misusing my imagination. And feeling so shameful that i want to crawl into a hole and bury myself in it. I cannot do that to my family. I have a pack of sleeping pills and i also thought to take them all and never wake up in the morning. But the thought of my family screaming next morning stopped me. I am in a relationship Nd moving to the next stage of marriage but i felt such synchronicity when you said that you dont want to leave but you cannot stay like this. I should seek a therapist. Im not able to manage myself.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I agree, I would advice you to seek professional help and talk about this. Sending you lost of love and healing.