Vindication!! I’ve spent so many hours trying to figure out what’s wrong with me because I can’t stand these male protagonists in these romance novels, and I’ve been so worried that I’m actually a raging misogynist because I … don’t like when mean, sh*tty, or violent, or emotionally immature men get the girl?
I think I might also be picky. I haven't tried your experiment, but I think that I just don't like the enemies to lovers trope most of the time. I would like a male love interest who is a good person. I also think I like romance more as a subplot than a main plot.
I love how you think. A relationship therapist said enemies to lovers almost never happens in real life. If people don't like each other when they meet, then getting to know each other results in venom, not romance.
Absolutely, nowadays tons of books, especially romance-fantasy-cheap thrillers are all novice fanfiction quality of writing. It’s better to be selective with what you consume rather than dive into just whatever, especially if you know what you like :) i understand that some people just want to rewind so don’t mind not so outstanding technically stories but haven’t heard of fanfic sites
People like to shit on women and women's interest. This is the fate that romance books suffered. Romance is considered cheesy and a lesser form of literature: Women's literature. That said, I do feel like we have over-corrected. There is a defensiveness and suspicion in discussions online that is really ugly.
The problem is assuming that people hate things because it's "women's interest." Usually that's just an excuse people use to defend something shoddy or weak. For example, someone once told me that men don't like astrology because it's "associated with women" -- or maybe they just don't like it because it's fake that stars control people's personalities. Assuming sexism where none exists makes men take women less seriously.
@@NerdilyDone Thank you for saying that! It's beginning to feel like people are shoving anything under the title of "women's interest" simply because they do not want to draw any scrutiny and people who might scrutinise "women's interest" can be easily termed as raging misogynists incel simps (add other buzzwords here usually used for men) and their opinions can be discarded without inviting criticisms. As a woman and a gen z, I really don't like how hard we have swung the pendulum to the other side. I like men and I respect them and it irks me to no bounds when I see these horrible depictions of an entire gender. Have you ever met a man? And no, the one creep who hit on you in the bar that one time is not a stand-in for the entire population. He probably wasn't perfect but you and I aren't either. But he is a human being at the end of the day, isn't he? Just like we are. If you don't like being stereotyped on the basis of your gender, race, religion, region-why would you do the same to somebody else? Would these people (and sad to say, most of the polarised population is female) like it if these horrible labels were stamped on their fathers, brothers, sons without any proof? It doesn't matter if you are gay or lesbian or trans or whatever-is there not a single good male in your circle? Can you put on these glasses that media has made of 'what men are' and look at that person and be okay with what you see? And that's coming from someone who has seen physical abuse at first hand. I'm not normalising or trivialising abuse or creepy behaviour in general-but I'm certainly not going to colour a whole population abusive and fucked up in the head just because of a few people. Isn't that what feminism was fighting against, this blanket stereotyping of an entire population? When did we dethrone the assholes and crown ourselves with the same bullshit that has been slapped on our faces for so long? People are fucked up and I don't mind reading about fucked up people, so long that others realise (as does the author) that this is just one person and a fictional one at that.
Try being into Warhammer40k when I was a kid, you'd keep that very masculine interest quiet and it had nothing to do with misandry. Also death metal, I get the odd snide comment even now. There are more reasons for peoples opinions than gender, blaming things on sex discrimination is mostly a crutch these days.
My issue is, when a story is advertised as romantic, but there's an asshole boyfriend who mistreats the girlfriend. Readers are told this is love, readers are told this is #relationshipgoals but it's dangerous to promote abuse and violence against (usually) women as love. Surely that doesn't make me a misogynist.
I don't read romance books and because of your video I found out why. And the love interest is usually the problem. I remember being in the middle of reading the whole twilight saga and thinking "why does she love Edward so much? What is is? She wants to be with him for eternity but I kind of missed the point why." I love classic romance novels and the best man I ever came across is Faramir!
Honestly I think the problem isn’t Readers as much as the publishing industry in itself. I feel like a lot of woman would love romance books if there was a bigger variety. Tbh when You go to the library, you’ll mostly find this: 1. White characters 2. Hetero romances 3. A book that builds it’s plot around tropes like « Small town » « sunshine and grumpy », etc. If there was a bigger range of books (and Im mostly focusing on romance but this also applies to other genres like fantasy) that readers could choose from then there would probably be a lot less romance haters.
1.) Deer mice. 2.) Oops, mine is cishet lol. Although, many of the side characters are trans. 3.) Horrible, just, absolutely MISERABLE world. Think being poor in the US.
Honestly I don't think it matters if a woman just doesn't enjoy romance books (provided she doesn't act like it makes her superior). Men are never expected to justify not liking them.
I briefly wondered this about myself as well, but in the end, I know I don't like romance books because I am cynical and can't stand happy books in general. I think I'm just a woman scorned by love and need characters to suffer like I have lol. (And I prefer books that are challenging, realistic, or abstract over entertaining.) That said, I do like romantic Korean dramas and anime. Idk why they get a pass though haha
I think korean dramas or anime get's a pass because you don't really know what those people are like in reality, assuming that you're American, whereas when you consume media about people or culture you know it's easy to be more critical and picky I'm chinese and can't stand contemporary chinese romance shows, i'm so picky with them that only have a handful I would reccomend.
briefly, i also thought i was sexist being a woman that doesn't like romance, but i realized that i just don't like romance outside out of fanfiction. i am a firm believer that any fanfiction writer does romance better than any "traditional" author does. also the romance books that are published now seem very shallow and rife with very problematic behavior that i think are being normalized and *expected*.
For the record, I don't think that it'd be sexist even if you really didn't like any romance novels at all. You aren't obligated to like something just because a lot of other women like it, we all have different tastes and interests, and that's okay! What would be sexist is thinking less of woman who do like romance books, but that's not what you're doing. Also, I myself don't really like romance novels or any fiction primarily centered around romantic relationships (with a handful of exceptions) because I am aromantic, and I find that engaging with stuff where the entire plot hinges around feelings that are talked up like they're the best thing ever and one of the defining features of humanity, but that I personally have never experienced anything close to, really frustrating.
I don’t like a lot of popular romance novels, I like a lot of mainstream books, but a lot of people promoted and liked the Hating Game. When I picked it up it felt like I was reading a really bad wattpad fanfiction. I think I dislike these books because they don’t feel like real people. The romances feel toxic, but I also am in a successful longterm relationship where I know what real love feels like. A lot of male love interests also are just unlikable from the start. Ugh. So far I read an Emily Henry book recently and I actually found myself enjoying it. It probably helped that I listened to an audiobook so I got the proper tone that I’m supposed to hear.
They call them the "love interest" but you realize that the male does not know anything about her except her mother died and her favorite color is blue. I don't see the real interest in that love 😂
Personally I'm AroAce so I'm generally turned off of anything with a romantic theme, and am especially miffed when I pick up an otherwise intriguing fantasy book just for it to end up a will-they won't-they romance halfway through. These protagonists really be struggling to choose between the livelihoods of entire kingdoms and being with their high school crush... I feel like giving a teen character adult responsibility should necessitate that they can make adult choices and not fail to accomplish a task due to bad communication (a pet peeve of mine). Anyways, great video!
#1 - no, you're not a freak for wanting a sweet love interest guy. Because SAME. I just want 2 people who are kind and who get along to end up together
I drop stories all the time because they get overcome by romance. I want adventure, I want interesting or cool characters, I don't want "waaah does she love me waaaah", its boring The love interest are usually really boring too. Cardboard like you said, or I see "sociopath but you are the exception" a lot. Or they're a glorified plot-device who pops up to solve the current issue and drag drama with them every time.
Loved this! I've often had similar worries because I don't usually enjoy romance fiction. I think you're absolutely correct about the conditions for enjoying a traditional romance novel: the female protagonist needs to be (at least emotionally) relatable, and the male love interest needs to be attractive. I would add that I think it's also a genre thing: most romance novels fall into really specific genre categories--slice-of-life and dystopian/high fantasy--and I think a lack of interest in romance fiction can sometimes stem from a lack of interest these genres. I don't usually go for either (dystopian/high fantasy is usually too much for me, slice-of-life isn't quite enough) and found that 90% of my issues with romance fiction completely disappeared when I switched genres--which was a relief!
As far as the misogynistic take goes. I think it depends on why you dislike romance novels. It is very common for things that are popular with girls and women to be hated on: astrology, makeup, romance novels, boy bands, etc. (this is a generic list but you get the gist) so when someone says they don’t like romance novels they could just have experience reading them and just not enjoying them, or they don’t have much experience in them and don’t like them because the girl hate bandwagon tells them they should dislike them. This can apply to women as well though (think of a “I’m not like other girls, I DONT like romance novels”). Internalized misogyny is sadly a big thing especially in teen girls and young women who have yet to mature. I was once that in middle school 😅 i wouldn’t even read a book back then if the makncharacter was a girl, so you can imagine how I felt about romance novels. Thankfully I grew up.
your attitude is very refreshing. i like that you didn't immediately look down on the kinds of readers that _would_ like the sort of love interest that is more stereotypically romance hero material, which is something i often see other people do without questioning who they are hurting when they speak like that. imo there is a degree of internalized misogyny behind the belief that women shouldn't want to fantasize about an assertive, dominating man and that doing so is automatically antifemenist simply because it aligns with patriarchal gender norms. idk, i could talk about the complexities of feminism and the romance genre for days, but i just don't think it's as clear cut as some people make it seem. mind you, this is coming from someone whose taste aligns with yours. for the most part i do prefer sweeter, gentler love interests and overly gendered romance novels aren't to my taste, so I'm not coming from a place of defensiveness. btw the term for the archetype of the first type of guy you mentioned is alpha male, and the type you said you liked is what we call a beta male, so if you ever want to look for recs, you should ask for books with beta male love interests. (it should be noted that the use of beta male in romance novel circles is not used derogatorily and to my knowledge the terminology has no relation to the terms as they are used in incel or incel adjacent circles, although the coincidence is unfortunate.)
that internalized misogyny thing is a complete non-issue when the rest of the world perpetuates that trope in a sexist manner though? Having a response to very common sexist trope is not misogynistic just because it deals with gender dynamics
fantasize about what you want and do what you want, but its disingenuous to say that anything a woman chooses is automatically feminist. some actions can and do benefit the patriarchy regardless of the intention behind the action. no one deserves to be shamed for desiring this but saying that criticizing age old patriarchal norms of male behavior is 'internalized misogyny' is wild. like the previous replier said, most people encourage this not in a 'women can choose' way but in a 'men and women should act a certain way'.
I'm not sure if there is a person on earth who doesn't like love stories, romantic or platonic. "Romance" is just the marketing label, and if the pickings in it are not for you, then it's no use forcing yourself to enjoy something you just don't. As for me, I've found my current niche in mlm romances (BL, danmei, western gay lit etc.). I'm sure someone in the world will judge me for this but whatever.
I’ve realised I don’t dislike romance but I do dislike how many of the characters are made. In most of the popular straight romance books it’s always the same type of characters just tweaked slightly, and I usually dislike the MMC as they’re usually rude,brash and annoying until they randomly change all of sudden? It’s why I loved the romance in Hunger Games because Peeta was a cute nice guy right off the bat. I recently read a YA romance ‘I wish you would’ and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would but I genuinely think that it was because the male love interest was a nice guy. In general I definitely prefer queer romances and tend to enjoy them far more.
I’ve always felt bad about not particularly enjoying romance books because of that “not like other girls” trope. I don’t want to hate on what other women love, I would just rather read other books. I’m also on the asexual spectrum so that might contribute.
I also not a huge fan of romance (though i have ships too) due to either constantly getting ruined by authors or being unhealthy/toxic or ships being overrated by fans (which is either a ship with toxic dynamic or not canon in the begin with yet some fams act like as if the ship is canon). I more inclined to familial relationships and i love them more. I have nothing agaisnt tropes or romance in general unless it doesn't contain problematic stuff (red flag behaviors like being jealous so much/pedophilia/abuse etc.) and it doesn't glossed over.
I totally understand this feeling! I find a lack of enjoyment and understanding for the enjoyment for some of the most popular romance books. An author I recommend that has amazing romance stories is Abby Jimenez. This author does a great job at balancing BOTH characters/love interests in her stories so they feel like well rounded characters in their own right. She writes contemporary romance that has a lot of depth, touching on deep topics about people on an individual level and the complications of love; 'how do you love someone else when you feel so broken from the way you grew up?' for instance.
You've got so many good takes, I can't even list em all! I feel VERY SEEN by your list of The Formula basics at the start, thank you so much for putting it into words!
I can see how Fourth Wing TRIES to be like a shonen anime. The problem is that it fails on that front. Miserably. The fundamental difference between Fourth Wing and something like One Piece from which all other criticisms flow is that one can enjoy the latter without thinking about it while one can enjoy the former ONLY without thinking about it.
I tend to not like romance at all, in books, songs and in movies, but every so often I come across a romance (usually in another genre), that I absolutely love, and I still haven't figured out the details of what makes a romance tick for me or not. I know for me it has nothing to do with sexism, and just because I find most of those stories dull and uninspiring, and the characters uninterested or even heavily dislike them. (also I have no hate at all to people who do love these kinds of stories, I know a lot of books I like some people will find boring and uninteresting as well). A romance book on my to read list that I might want to read this summer is Pride and Prejudice, it's one I think I might like based on what I've seen and heard about it.
Omg yesss the male leads are horrible! I like a romance if the heroine is not a doormat (rare) and if the hero is a decent person (very rare) and if there's an interesting plot outside of the romance and the main characters' (usually boring) personal drama. The pickings are slim.
I’m a girl who loves romance. And I love reading. But I despise *romance novels* 😂 To those who love them, that’s awesome. But I can’t. As a sub-genre, I still enjoy it. But so far, I haven’t found one I liked where it was the main thing. I hate that the writing tends to be poor enough that I notice it, that the characters aren’t fleshed out as individuals, that there’s never time given for the main relationship to develop, that the books make the equivalent of love lust. For romance, I’ve always turned to Korean dramas. These I adore. Popular recommendations: - Descendants of the Sun - Goblin - Healer - Strong Woman - Weightlifting Fairy - Pinocchio - It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
feeling incredibly seen as someone who preferred jack black in the holiday since it was in theaters and who also struggles with the romance genre (I have had way better luck with rofan manhwa)
1:42 dude man, no wonder I find myself DNFing so many books that go into romance plots. I usually have NEVER felt any romantic connection to ANY of the male leads, the most I usually get with them is, “I would love to be their friend because they’re so funny and sweet” and worst is “I hate this guy so bitterly and feel no remorse for him whenever he starts sobbing” I have liked the romance plots of straight characters, but it’s definitely not like, the main couple of a typical straight romance book. I’ve only liked the main couple in a straight romance book, I kid you not, TWICE. However, I realized I didn’t think the male lead was pretty hot (in fact, the good male leads were someone I wanted to be pals with), I had more of a connection and liking to the FEMALE LEAD. So if the male lead character can be someone that I would want of befriend, and the female lead is someone I want to befriend, BOOM, I eat the romance up.
I thought I hated romance as well, but I eventually realized that I just dislike straight romances. As a lesbian, there was not a lot of representation for wlw relationships and I just could not relate at all to straight relationships. Now that wlw and mlm romance books are becoming more accepted with publishers, I’ve found a few that I really enjoyed.
i myself don't like romance at all because of the male lead people who calls us misogynistic i wanna ask them what about them when they read a book where girls suffer from toxic relationship and u romanticize it, i m not misogynistic because i m writing story of a mafia woman but in my way and nope it's not romance it's about how she suffers in her past because of family issues and how she put herself in this type of situation
We’d have fewer arguments if humans could differentiate between preferences and morals… Chocolate ice cream or Vanilla? It’s a preference. Just because someone doesn’t like your favorite flavor doesn’t make them mean or wrong.
Please share your top 5 novels that include relationships you aspire to experience someday or reflect ones you initially enjoyed. PS: Love your comical videos like this one and this may be why I prefer fiction with a relationship rooted in how one person plays against another individual's wordplay•cleverness•cynicism.
Book lovers was nice. For one it was refreshing to not have the mfc cute and petite and the mmc tall(above 6ft) and big. Just found your channel. Nice video
SO glad to know I'm not alone.. I've spent time wondering if I'm a conditioned mysogynist for disliking this entire genre.. Also you had me at the holiday and berserk manga! 😅
I am always suspicious of people who don’t like a whole genre. I suspect they haven’t read much and are biased. I am also super picky in every genre. Some stuff is just not that good. 🤷🏻♂️
real! i have zero interest in most romance novels (im primarily an epic fantasy girlie). at first i thought it was because im a lesbian, so of course i'm not interested in a book where the entire plot is two straight people getting together. but then i've become incredibly invested in straight couples in fantasy series + have been very underwhelmed by most sapphic romance books i've read. after my own trial and error, i think contemporary romance just isn't for me... and most romantasy is horrifically written and stars men who are mediocre at their best. i've since found one (1) romance that i liked (as in, didn't just think was okay but genuinely enjoyed) and while it's still a light contemporary romance it involved a small supernatural element, so i think that maybe kept me from getting bored.
I'm tired of how much heterosexuality is shoved down my throat, and since romance books or books that shoehorn in romantic relationships are mostly heterosexual, I'm not interested. I also have negative interest in sex scenes.
Regardless of genre if the characters are one dimensional, for me, I won’t get invested. I need to care for the characters or at least be intrigued. I need to have reasons to follow this characters story. To care or root for them. That’s where it starts for me. Without good characters the story and world will feel disconnected. Distant. And pointless.
will also say that several modern romance novels are just reylo with the serial numbers filed off?? which I mean if you like that go for it but I can't take it seriously
i think im also picky, ive only found one four star romance. the unhoneymooners had the banter i want, however, it did commit the dreaded "everyone stood up and clapped" scene... i almost think these authors do it ironically as a joke lmao
Why woman can't have likes and dislike ? As a grown woman up now , I say it with my mouth full . I hate romance *stuff* in general . Point black . PERIOD . Males don't have to go justifying their likes and dislikes so why must we ?
Very clickable title (compliment), also I think I can hear Pokémon Sun and Moon music as in background? Nice, even if it's from a mix checking the description Also just want to add I don't like romance since I'm just aromantic (and asexual) lol Romance doesn't do much for me, it only works for me if it's not like the main plot and there's just a side dish of romance
In my opinion I don't really think romance is for girls, they just tend to portray men in such a light of "knight in shining armor" and all that and the very outdated gender norms which have faded away with time. They just make us keep believing in these men and kind of "fool" women. IDK all have their own interests but it is very common to what people discuss nowadays that girls at a young age have been sold the Disney princess dream and romance books seem to do the same thing to adult/young adult women. Idk keep and open mind and just drawing the line between fiction and reality is important ig. I always wondered if that made me pick me or not a girl's girl but I just refuse to live in delulu, have been trying to find some close to reality genres except for self help. Might try contemporary and literary fiction.
There are so little romance books nowdays that I enjoy reading about that have truly good made male leads I tent to find better romance stories in books in which the main plot is not the romance itself
I don't really like the BookTok popular romance books where they sleep together after like 5 conversations, where the heroine is always sassy, small, snarky, beautiful and doesn't look strong enough but you bet she will shock our male love interest with her abilities!!! And then we have the rugged, 7 feet tall dark haired man with dark eyes and so many muscles that his abs have abs. He's always angry and hates all women except our main heroine. I'm so over this. But I have a different problem, and I honestly can't figure out why. I always hate the heroine more than the love interest. When the man is problematic, I'm like "to be expected" bcs I have no expectations for the male gender even in a book character form, but no matter how nice the heroine is, I just always hate them. Do I hate all women? Because I just never form a connection with the heroine. I either find her annoying, too sassy, too confident or idk, and trust me, I'm all for women being confident, but I'm so over this trope of the heroine being this fearless beast who's just like "this might kill me but here I go anyways bcs I'm strong and independent!!!". I don't really know how to explain myself very well, but when reading Bridge Kingdom, Serpent & Dove, Powerless, Fourth Wing, etc. I was just so annoyed by the heroine and her quirky personality.
You can hate anything you want. You only become a dummy if you tell other people they can't like it. I don't care for kale. I don't like Adam Sandler movies. I don't want to watch sports. I don't enjoy snowboarding. All of these things are totally fine for someone else. The appeal of these books is that the jerk is controlled. Christian Grey modulates his behavior for love. Edward Cullen restrains himself for romance. In a world with uncontrolled monsters, half the romance and the dream is the fantasy of a controlled one. It's the same reason roller coasters are fun... For someone else. ... still dont wanna read em, tho. I do not personally like them.
I like romance but I don’t blame you for saying you don’t. A lot of them are heavily saturated and promoted with tropes that the plot isn’t mentioned 🤷🏾♀️. I just finished a dark romance recently and I think I’m gonna lay off the romance for a while 😅
I'm also not a fan of romance. Partly because I only knew it from Harlequin. Sadly, I have to read some now because I finished my first novel for NaNoWriMo, and what was intended as a single stand-alone book has become a trilogy. The second novel is going to be a romance, both classic and modern style. So it's gong to be" Ivanhoe is Sleepless in Seattle." Adventure, betrayal and a battle for glory and honor mixed with a fight for true love. But her intended is a good and decent guy, so he'll never co-star in a bodice ripper. I do have Emily Henry's "Beach Read". It came highly recommended, but so far I dislike both parties and hope they end up together because it would serve them right. "The Lines We Cross" by Randa Abdel-Fattah was much better. The characters are complex and avoid stereotypes quite well. My favorite was "100 Days of Sunlight" by Abbie Emmons. A YA romance with decent and worthwhile leads if you ignore their tempers and rough edges. Nobody is perfect.
really great video, amusingly enough i was tossing around talking about something similar on my channel. i really do like romance in things, but i've noticed that i find when the central plolt line in thing i read or watch IS the romance, i find it way less frequent that i enjoy it because it doesn't seem as naturalistic. when it's supplemental to a different plotline, i find it feeling more naturally integrated, if that makes sense. other commenters have also rightly pointed out many people just shit on things women like. i see the "dime novel" romance books as no different than the frequent male power fantasy action slop we get, but of course only one of those regularly takes heat. both are just kind of wish fantasy fulfillment when it comes down to it, which aren't for me, but i see the appeal. i just wish it was easier to find romance that feels more realistic. butut if im being real the bulk of people who engage with romance don't want that, they want easy wild brain-off thrills, exactly the same as the men who engage with their empty power fantasy slop, and that why a lot of that is what bubbles to the top and it's way harder to find stuff with nuance. i read a lot of sci-fi and MAN did it take a while to find find the good shit and not the technocolonialist white power fantasies that people so often recommend.
Ever since I was a kid I was indifferent to disliking romance in any media I consumed. When I was 16 I discovered that it's just straight romance I don't like I love gay romance stories. About I year ago I figured out it's because I'm aroace and I like it because I can disassociate myself from the romance.
I feel seen. I don't like romances, I tried soooo hard. I never voice my opinion regarding that because I'm afraid I'll be labeled as a pick me. I don't hate on anyone for liking romances, they just aren't for me, I'll probably keep trying until I find one I enjoy.
I’m a woman who generally dislikes romance books. And honestly, it’s usually the first criteria that I can’t vibe with in them. I usually find the female main character to be extremely immature, insufferable, and completely unable to relate to. The male character is usually slightly more tolerable to me, but they usually eventually annoy me as well. It’s funny because I disliked Love Theoretically sooo much. I didn’t find it funny at all, I just found it annoying and completely oblivious to the fact that her feminist worldview was constantly being debunked by reality. The female main character was supposed to be super smart but she just…wasn’t. The author couldn’t even make up a fiction to fit her narrative. Believing men get ‘pee-erections’ and being mad at a man a decade later for bringing up a very va1id criticism of her field of study wasn’t a good way to convince me the main character was smart. It was just embarrassing. Fourth Wing, oh boy. Yeah, I don’t like dragons in my sx. Or sx in my dragons. The main character was absolutely insufferable Mary Sue and she picked the wrong guy. They deserved each other though, they were both terrible. Although I guess her best friend who just wanted to protect her instead of seeing her put her life in danger for no reason other than defiance dodged a bullet with that one. Never read any of the others you mentioned, but those were what you liked, we have very different tastes. LOL Although I do plan to try Emily Henry. I might actually like her if she writes books for ‘adult attention spans’, as the immature tone of most romance books is one of the many things I usually dislike about them. I also tend to enjoy reading things that are more serious in tone. The only popular romance I’ve read recently that I actually did like was Divine Rivals. I was very surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did, as I usually don’t like YA much either. The sequel wasn’t quite as good, but it was still way better than Fourth Wing. I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but I just thought the relationship and way love was presented was way healthier than others. Unlike a lot of romance, it wasn’t just based on the characters being h0rny, but actually getting to know each other as friends/rivals before the romance started. At the end of the day, maybe I do just kind of dislike my own gender though. Because I dislike that most other women like things like Fourth Wing and Love Theoretically. I think the MCs of those books had absolutely awful mentalities, and that’s mostly why I didn’t enjoy them. And I feel like those same mentalities are why a lot of women DO enjoy them, because they think the same way and can relate to the immature way these characters did thought and did things. And yeah, I don’t like that. It’s embarrassing to me that so many of my sx are that.. not-smart.
TLDR; Basically, I don’t like romance because I’m a woman who is actually NOT a feminist, and it seems like most romance books are meant for women with that particular view. I didn’t mention it, but I also think it’s boring to know that they will always end up together in the end before you even pick up the book. I tend to enjoy endings that are more ambiguous, unsettling, and/or bittersweet rather than just happy. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed Divine Rivals more, because it ended on a cliffhanger by stopping at the girl-loses-boy stage. LOL
I think it's fine to say that a genre isn't for you as long as you're not being a dick to people who are into romance. I'm weird with romance. There has to be a gimmick or an interesting setting. I love the Dangerous Damsels books because they are funny but also have magic.
No, no, you've unfortunately been subjected to the book-tok-ification of publishing. I too, hate a lot of the tropes mentioned and love the Romance genre - but you've gotta look hard for something that will suit you. Look, if the genre is so big it can produce a book about amish vampires in space, you can find something for you. Promise.
dunno about this one. im a hopeless romantic, very much lover girl, but i still don’t like these books. it’s not nothing to do with being aro or ace. remember fiction does not affect real life
Imma be real, im not sure how you came to the conclusion that you might be sexist but thats kinda sad. You're valid in why you like or dislike something, but the reason why you like or dislike it is the nuance people need when it comes to media. I dont like "new age" romance novels but I know I'm not a misogynist, I just hate. The male leads suck, the female leads live for sex and nothing more, and occasionally we'll just include something really weird and then we just gloss past that. Hell I used to think I just didn't like anime because I didn't like dragon ball when almost everyone I knew did. As I went on and followed the series I actually went on to hate it for very similar reasons ironically. Every main character sucks, the villains are bland and uninspired, and despite how often these people screw up there is no accountability taken. I think it's just a shame factor, at least in my case. I was always called lame for not liking dragon ball, but I read manga for the characters and how the world changes as they grow, dragon ball doesn't have that and people who are especially invested wont get why you might not like it, kinda like how romance now focuses so much on the romance that the characters become cardboard
I know what you mean! Quite often, books in the genre of romance novels seem boring and predictable to me for one reason - the whole life of the heroine revolves around a man. It's unrealistic, it's boring, it doesn't happen. And besides, these same men are absolutely not worth making them the center of your life, even in a book. Often the men in these romance novels are criminals and simply bad people, I want to protect the female protagonist, I don’t want her to cease to exist as a person and dissolve into a man.
Vindication!! I’ve spent so many hours trying to figure out what’s wrong with me because I can’t stand these male protagonists in these romance novels, and I’ve been so worried that I’m actually a raging misogynist because I … don’t like when mean, sh*tty, or violent, or emotionally immature men get the girl?
you like what you like, I hate romance novels and I'm a girl, if someone says it means you're sexist then they spend too much time on tiktok
facts
I think I might also be picky. I haven't tried your experiment, but I think that I just don't like the enemies to lovers trope most of the time. I would like a male love interest who is a good person. I also think I like romance more as a subplot than a main plot.
I love how you think.
A relationship therapist said enemies to lovers almost never happens in real life. If people don't like each other when they meet, then getting to know each other results in venom, not romance.
True. I’ve only liked certain straight romances in media if the male and female lead are both people I would LOVE to be friends with.
Absolutely, nowadays tons of books, especially romance-fantasy-cheap thrillers are all novice fanfiction quality of writing. It’s better to be selective with what you consume rather than dive into just whatever, especially if you know what you like :)
i understand that some people just want to rewind so don’t mind not so outstanding technically stories but haven’t heard of fanfic sites
People like to shit on women and women's interest. This is the fate that romance books suffered. Romance is considered cheesy and a lesser form of literature: Women's literature.
That said, I do feel like we have over-corrected. There is a defensiveness and suspicion in discussions online that is really ugly.
The problem is assuming that people hate things because it's "women's interest." Usually that's just an excuse people use to defend something shoddy or weak. For example, someone once told me that men don't like astrology because it's "associated with women" -- or maybe they just don't like it because it's fake that stars control people's personalities. Assuming sexism where none exists makes men take women less seriously.
@@NerdilyDone Thank you for saying that! It's beginning to feel like people are shoving anything under the title of "women's interest" simply because they do not want to draw any scrutiny and people who might scrutinise "women's interest" can be easily termed as raging misogynists incel simps (add other buzzwords here usually used for men) and their opinions can be discarded without inviting criticisms. As a woman and a gen z, I really don't like how hard we have swung the pendulum to the other side. I like men and I respect them and it irks me to no bounds when I see these horrible depictions of an entire gender. Have you ever met a man? And no, the one creep who hit on you in the bar that one time is not a stand-in for the entire population. He probably wasn't perfect but you and I aren't either. But he is a human being at the end of the day, isn't he? Just like we are. If you don't like being stereotyped on the basis of your gender, race, religion, region-why would you do the same to somebody else? Would these people (and sad to say, most of the polarised population is female) like it if these horrible labels were stamped on their fathers, brothers, sons without any proof? It doesn't matter if you are gay or lesbian or trans or whatever-is there not a single good male in your circle? Can you put on these glasses that media has made of 'what men are' and look at that person and be okay with what you see? And that's coming from someone who has seen physical abuse at first hand. I'm not normalising or trivialising abuse or creepy behaviour in general-but I'm certainly not going to colour a whole population abusive and fucked up in the head just because of a few people. Isn't that what feminism was fighting against, this blanket stereotyping of an entire population? When did we dethrone the assholes and crown ourselves with the same bullshit that has been slapped on our faces for so long? People are fucked up and I don't mind reading about fucked up people, so long that others realise (as does the author) that this is just one person and a fictional one at that.
@@NerdilyDone I don't take women less seriously - only the person who holds that very convenient opinion. Not all women are like that.
Try being into Warhammer40k when I was a kid, you'd keep that very masculine interest quiet and it had nothing to do with misandry. Also death metal, I get the odd snide comment even now. There are more reasons for peoples opinions than gender, blaming things on sex discrimination is mostly a crutch these days.
My issue is, when a story is advertised as romantic, but there's an asshole boyfriend who mistreats the girlfriend. Readers are told this is love, readers are told this is #relationshipgoals but it's dangerous to promote abuse and violence against (usually) women as love. Surely that doesn't make me a misogynist.
you can say colleen hoover books dont worry
I don't read romance books and because of your video I found out why.
And the love interest is usually the problem.
I remember being in the middle of reading the whole twilight saga and thinking "why does she love Edward so much? What is is? She wants to be with him for eternity but I kind of missed the point why."
I love classic romance novels and the best man I ever came across is Faramir!
this is so true, and a lot of the times the main character acts out of character just to serve the romance plot
Honestly I think the problem isn’t Readers as much as the publishing industry in itself. I feel like a lot of woman would love romance books if there was a bigger variety. Tbh when You go to the library, you’ll mostly find this: 1. White characters 2. Hetero romances 3. A book that builds it’s plot around tropes like « Small town » « sunshine and grumpy », etc. If there was a bigger range of books (and Im mostly focusing on romance but this also applies to other genres like fantasy) that readers could choose from then there would probably be a lot less romance haters.
1.) Deer mice.
2.) Oops, mine is cishet lol. Although, many of the side characters are trans.
3.) Horrible, just, absolutely MISERABLE world. Think being poor in the US.
Honestly I don't think it matters if a woman just doesn't enjoy romance books (provided she doesn't act like it makes her superior). Men are never expected to justify not liking them.
I briefly wondered this about myself as well, but in the end, I know I don't like romance books because I am cynical and can't stand happy books in general. I think I'm just a woman scorned by love and need characters to suffer like I have lol. (And I prefer books that are challenging, realistic, or abstract over entertaining.) That said, I do like romantic Korean dramas and anime. Idk why they get a pass though haha
why can't romances be dark and realistic?
I literally feel you
I think korean dramas or anime get's a pass because you don't really know what those people are like in reality, assuming that you're American, whereas when you consume media about people or culture you know it's easy to be more critical and picky
I'm chinese and can't stand contemporary chinese romance shows, i'm so picky with them that only have a handful I would reccomend.
briefly, i also thought i was sexist being a woman that doesn't like romance, but i realized that i just don't like romance outside out of fanfiction. i am a firm believer that any fanfiction writer does romance better than any "traditional" author does. also the romance books that are published now seem very shallow and rife with very problematic behavior that i think are being normalized and *expected*.
Preferences are preferences. Do you hate/think people lesser because of their gender? No? You're not sexist
For the record, I don't think that it'd be sexist even if you really didn't like any romance novels at all. You aren't obligated to like something just because a lot of other women like it, we all have different tastes and interests, and that's okay! What would be sexist is thinking less of woman who do like romance books, but that's not what you're doing.
Also, I myself don't really like romance novels or any fiction primarily centered around romantic relationships (with a handful of exceptions) because I am aromantic, and I find that engaging with stuff where the entire plot hinges around feelings that are talked up like they're the best thing ever and one of the defining features of humanity, but that I personally have never experienced anything close to, really frustrating.
Another I don't like about romance books: too much smut, overly descriptive smut, smut with poor word choice
Congrats on not hating women 🫶
wheres my freaking medal for real
I don’t like a lot of popular romance novels, I like a lot of mainstream books, but a lot of people promoted and liked the Hating Game. When I picked it up it felt like I was reading a really bad wattpad fanfiction.
I think I dislike these books because they don’t feel like real people. The romances feel toxic, but I also am in a successful longterm relationship where I know what real love feels like. A lot of male love interests also are just unlikable from the start. Ugh.
So far I read an Emily Henry book recently and I actually found myself enjoying it. It probably helped that I listened to an audiobook so I got the proper tone that I’m supposed to hear.
They call them the "love interest" but you realize that the male does not know anything about her except her mother died and her favorite color is blue. I don't see the real interest in that love 😂
Personally I'm AroAce so I'm generally turned off of anything with a romantic theme, and am especially miffed when I pick up an otherwise intriguing fantasy book just for it to end up a will-they won't-they romance halfway through. These protagonists really be struggling to choose between the livelihoods of entire kingdoms and being with their high school crush... I feel like giving a teen character adult responsibility should necessitate that they can make adult choices and not fail to accomplish a task due to bad communication (a pet peeve of mine). Anyways, great video!
#1 - no, you're not a freak for wanting a sweet love interest guy. Because SAME. I just want 2 people who are kind and who get along to end up together
I drop stories all the time because they get overcome by romance. I want adventure, I want interesting or cool characters, I don't want "waaah does she love me waaaah", its boring
The love interest are usually really boring too. Cardboard like you said, or I see "sociopath but you are the exception" a lot. Or they're a glorified plot-device who pops up to solve the current issue and drag drama with them every time.
Loved this! I've often had similar worries because I don't usually enjoy romance fiction.
I think you're absolutely correct about the conditions for enjoying a traditional romance novel: the female protagonist needs to be (at least emotionally) relatable, and the male love interest needs to be attractive. I would add that I think it's also a genre thing: most romance novels fall into really specific genre categories--slice-of-life and dystopian/high fantasy--and I think a lack of interest in romance fiction can sometimes stem from a lack of interest these genres. I don't usually go for either (dystopian/high fantasy is usually too much for me, slice-of-life isn't quite enough) and found that 90% of my issues with romance fiction completely disappeared when I switched genres--which was a relief!
As far as the misogynistic take goes. I think it depends on why you dislike romance novels. It is very common for things that are popular with girls and women to be hated on: astrology, makeup, romance novels, boy bands, etc. (this is a generic list but you get the gist) so when someone says they don’t like romance novels they could just have experience reading them and just not enjoying them, or they don’t have much experience in them and don’t like them because the girl hate bandwagon tells them they should dislike them.
This can apply to women as well though (think of a “I’m not like other girls, I DONT like romance novels”). Internalized misogyny is sadly a big thing especially in teen girls and young women who have yet to mature. I was once that in middle school 😅 i wouldn’t even read a book back then if the makncharacter was a girl, so you can imagine how I felt about romance novels. Thankfully I grew up.
this is a very thoughtful take that i agree with
No! Men don't hate astrology because they're sexist, they hate it because it's stupid! Honestly.
your attitude is very refreshing. i like that you didn't immediately look down on the kinds of readers that _would_ like the sort of love interest that is more stereotypically romance hero material, which is something i often see other people do without questioning who they are hurting when they speak like that. imo there is a degree of internalized misogyny behind the belief that women shouldn't want to fantasize about an assertive, dominating man and that doing so is automatically antifemenist simply because it aligns with patriarchal gender norms. idk, i could talk about the complexities of feminism and the romance genre for days, but i just don't think it's as clear cut as some people make it seem. mind you, this is coming from someone whose taste aligns with yours. for the most part i do prefer sweeter, gentler love interests and overly gendered romance novels aren't to my taste, so I'm not coming from a place of defensiveness.
btw the term for the archetype of the first type of guy you mentioned is alpha male, and the type you said you liked is what we call a beta male, so if you ever want to look for recs, you should ask for books with beta male love interests. (it should be noted that the use of beta male in romance novel circles is not used derogatorily and to my knowledge the terminology has no relation to the terms as they are used in incel or incel adjacent circles, although the coincidence is unfortunate.)
that internalized misogyny thing is a complete non-issue when the rest of the world perpetuates that trope in a sexist manner though? Having a response to very common sexist trope is not misogynistic just because it deals with gender dynamics
fantasize about what you want and do what you want, but its disingenuous to say that anything a woman chooses is automatically feminist. some actions can and do benefit the patriarchy regardless of the intention behind the action. no one deserves to be shamed for desiring this but saying that criticizing age old patriarchal norms of male behavior is 'internalized misogyny' is wild. like the previous replier said, most people encourage this not in a 'women can choose' way but in a 'men and women should act a certain way'.
I'm not sure if there is a person on earth who doesn't like love stories, romantic or platonic. "Romance" is just the marketing label, and if the pickings in it are not for you, then it's no use forcing yourself to enjoy something you just don't. As for me, I've found my current niche in mlm romances (BL, danmei, western gay lit etc.). I'm sure someone in the world will judge me for this but whatever.
I’ve realised I don’t dislike romance but I do dislike how many of the characters are made. In most of the popular straight romance books it’s always the same type of characters just tweaked slightly, and I usually dislike the MMC as they’re usually rude,brash and annoying until they randomly change all of sudden?
It’s why I loved the romance in Hunger Games because Peeta was a cute nice guy right off the bat.
I recently read a YA romance ‘I wish you would’ and I enjoyed it more than I thought I would but I genuinely think that it was because the male love interest was a nice guy.
In general I definitely prefer queer romances and tend to enjoy them far more.
I’ve always felt bad about not particularly enjoying romance books because of that “not like other girls” trope. I don’t want to hate on what other women love, I would just rather read other books. I’m also on the asexual spectrum so that might contribute.
I also not a huge fan of romance (though i have ships too) due to either constantly getting ruined by authors or being unhealthy/toxic or ships being overrated by fans (which is either a ship with toxic dynamic or not canon in the begin with yet some fams act like as if the ship is canon). I more inclined to familial relationships and i love them more.
I have nothing agaisnt tropes or romance in general unless it doesn't contain problematic stuff (red flag behaviors like being jealous so much/pedophilia/abuse etc.) and it doesn't glossed over.
I totally understand this feeling! I find a lack of enjoyment and understanding for the enjoyment for some of the most popular romance books. An author I recommend that has amazing romance stories is Abby Jimenez. This author does a great job at balancing BOTH characters/love interests in her stories so they feel like well rounded characters in their own right. She writes contemporary romance that has a lot of depth, touching on deep topics about people on an individual level and the complications of love; 'how do you love someone else when you feel so broken from the way you grew up?' for instance.
You've got so many good takes, I can't even list em all! I feel VERY SEEN by your list of The Formula basics at the start, thank you so much for putting it into words!
I can see how Fourth Wing TRIES to be like a shonen anime. The problem is that it fails on that front. Miserably. The fundamental difference between Fourth Wing and something like One Piece from which all other criticisms flow is that one can enjoy the latter without thinking about it while one can enjoy the former ONLY without thinking about it.
I tend to not like romance at all, in books, songs and in movies, but every so often I come across a romance (usually in another genre), that I absolutely love, and I still haven't figured out the details of what makes a romance tick for me or not. I know for me it has nothing to do with sexism, and just because I find most of those stories dull and uninspiring, and the characters uninterested or even heavily dislike them.
(also I have no hate at all to people who do love these kinds of stories, I know a lot of books I like some people will find boring and uninteresting as well).
A romance book on my to read list that I might want to read this summer is Pride and Prejudice, it's one I think I might like based on what I've seen and heard about it.
The title is so relatable ugh
Omg yesss the male leads are horrible! I like a romance if the heroine is not a doormat (rare) and if the hero is a decent person (very rare) and if there's an interesting plot outside of the romance and the main characters' (usually boring) personal drama.
The pickings are slim.
I’m a girl who loves romance. And I love reading. But I despise *romance novels* 😂
To those who love them, that’s awesome. But I can’t. As a sub-genre, I still enjoy it. But so far, I haven’t found one I liked where it was the main thing. I hate that the writing tends to be poor enough that I notice it, that the characters aren’t fleshed out as individuals, that there’s never time given for the main relationship to develop, that the books make the equivalent of love lust.
For romance, I’ve always turned to Korean dramas. These I adore.
Popular recommendations:
- Descendants of the Sun
- Goblin
- Healer
- Strong Woman
- Weightlifting Fairy
- Pinocchio
- It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
feeling incredibly seen as someone who preferred jack black in the holiday since it was in theaters and who also struggles with the romance genre (I have had way better luck with rofan manhwa)
Your presentation is so comedic I watched the whole 7 minutes while grinning and chuckling and laughing
1:42 dude man, no wonder I find myself DNFing so many books that go into romance plots. I usually have NEVER felt any romantic connection to ANY of the male leads, the most I usually get with them is, “I would love to be their friend because they’re so funny and sweet” and worst is “I hate this guy so bitterly and feel no remorse for him whenever he starts sobbing”
I have liked the romance plots of straight characters, but it’s definitely not like, the main couple of a typical straight romance book. I’ve only liked the main couple in a straight romance book, I kid you not, TWICE. However, I realized I didn’t think the male lead was pretty hot (in fact, the good male leads were someone I wanted to be pals with), I had more of a connection and liking to the FEMALE LEAD. So if the male lead character can be someone that I would want of befriend, and the female lead is someone I want to befriend, BOOM, I eat the romance up.
I thought I hated romance as well, but I eventually realized that I just dislike straight romances. As a lesbian, there was not a lot of representation for wlw relationships and I just could not relate at all to straight relationships. Now that wlw and mlm romance books are becoming more accepted with publishers, I’ve found a few that I really enjoyed.
i myself don't like romance at all because of the male lead people who calls us misogynistic i wanna ask them what about them when they read a book where girls suffer from toxic relationship and u romanticize it, i m not misogynistic because i m writing story of a mafia woman but in my way and nope it's not romance it's about how she suffers in her past because of family issues and how she put herself in this type of situation
We’d have fewer arguments if humans could differentiate between preferences and morals…
Chocolate ice cream or Vanilla? It’s a preference. Just because someone doesn’t like your favorite flavor doesn’t make them mean or wrong.
I only accept romance in fanfiction since most of the time are much more variaties of relationships :)
Please share your top 5 novels that include relationships you aspire to experience someday or reflect ones you initially enjoyed.
PS: Love your comical videos like this one and this may be why I prefer fiction with a relationship rooted in how one person plays against another individual's wordplay•cleverness•cynicism.
Book lovers was nice. For one it was refreshing to not have the mfc cute and petite and the mmc tall(above 6ft) and big. Just found your channel. Nice video
SO glad to know I'm not alone.. I've spent time wondering if I'm a conditioned mysogynist for disliking this entire genre..
Also you had me at the holiday and berserk manga! 😅
I am always suspicious of people who don’t like a whole genre. I suspect they haven’t read much and are biased. I am also super picky in every genre. Some stuff is just not that good. 🤷🏻♂️
real! i have zero interest in most romance novels (im primarily an epic fantasy girlie). at first i thought it was because im a lesbian, so of course i'm not interested in a book where the entire plot is two straight people getting together. but then i've become incredibly invested in straight couples in fantasy series + have been very underwhelmed by most sapphic romance books i've read.
after my own trial and error, i think contemporary romance just isn't for me... and most romantasy is horrifically written and stars men who are mediocre at their best. i've since found one (1) romance that i liked (as in, didn't just think was okay but genuinely enjoyed) and while it's still a light contemporary romance it involved a small supernatural element, so i think that maybe kept me from getting bored.
I'm tired of how much heterosexuality is shoved down my throat, and since romance books or books that shoehorn in romantic relationships are mostly heterosexual, I'm not interested. I also have negative interest in sex scenes.
You’re so right!! I also despise those “SpICy” scenes or whatever they call it, they make me uncomfortable and often at times claustrophobic.
Regardless of genre if the characters are one dimensional, for me, I won’t get invested. I need to care for the characters or at least be intrigued. I need to have reasons to follow this characters story. To care or root for them.
That’s where it starts for me. Without good characters the story and world will feel disconnected. Distant. And pointless.
will also say that several modern romance novels are just reylo with the serial numbers filed off?? which I mean if you like that go for it but I can't take it seriously
i think im also picky, ive only found one four star romance. the unhoneymooners had the banter i want, however, it did commit the dreaded "everyone stood up and clapped" scene... i almost think these authors do it ironically as a joke lmao
If I hear any slander about The Charm Offensive I will riot
You're my new fave booktuber! (if you ever consider yourself as one) Been binge-watching your videos after I saw this on my feed
this is so kind, thank you ♡
I'm really interested in reading the 'Charm Offensive!'
Also side note. I love your style and that floral top!
Why woman can't have likes and dislike ? As a grown woman up now , I say it with my mouth full . I hate romance *stuff* in general . Point black . PERIOD . Males don't have to go justifying their likes and dislikes so why must we ?
Very clickable title (compliment), also I think I can hear Pokémon Sun and Moon music as in background? Nice, even if it's from a mix checking the description
Also just want to add I don't like romance since I'm just aromantic (and asexual) lol Romance doesn't do much for me, it only works for me if it's not like the main plot and there's just a side dish of romance
Did ... did she just compared berserk with fourth wing?
In my opinion I don't really think romance is for girls, they just tend to portray men in such a light of "knight in shining armor" and all that and the very outdated gender norms which have faded away with time. They just make us keep believing in these men and kind of "fool" women. IDK all have their own interests but it is very common to what people discuss nowadays that girls at a young age have been sold the Disney princess dream and romance books seem to do the same thing to adult/young adult women. Idk keep and open mind and just drawing the line between fiction and reality is important ig.
I always wondered if that made me pick me or not a girl's girl but I just refuse to live in delulu, have been trying to find some close to reality genres except for self help. Might try contemporary and literary fiction.
There are so little romance books nowdays that I enjoy reading about that have truly good made male leads
I tent to find better romance stories in books in which the main plot is not the romance itself
I don't really like the BookTok popular romance books where they sleep together after like 5 conversations, where the heroine is always sassy, small, snarky, beautiful and doesn't look strong enough but you bet she will shock our male love interest with her abilities!!! And then we have the rugged, 7 feet tall dark haired man with dark eyes and so many muscles that his abs have abs. He's always angry and hates all women except our main heroine. I'm so over this.
But I have a different problem, and I honestly can't figure out why. I always hate the heroine more than the love interest. When the man is problematic, I'm like "to be expected" bcs I have no expectations for the male gender even in a book character form, but no matter how nice the heroine is, I just always hate them. Do I hate all women? Because I just never form a connection with the heroine. I either find her annoying, too sassy, too confident or idk, and trust me, I'm all for women being confident, but I'm so over this trope of the heroine being this fearless beast who's just like "this might kill me but here I go anyways bcs I'm strong and independent!!!". I don't really know how to explain myself very well, but when reading Bridge Kingdom, Serpent & Dove, Powerless, Fourth Wing, etc. I was just so annoyed by the heroine and her quirky personality.
a little off topic, but you are so pretty :33
*What's the Total Collection of books that you have?*
maybe the love interest thing is why i cannot stand straight romance books. besides that, i wouldn't mind reading them every once in a while
You can hate anything you want. You only become a dummy if you tell other people they can't like it. I don't care for kale. I don't like Adam Sandler movies. I don't want to watch sports. I don't enjoy snowboarding. All of these things are totally fine for someone else.
The appeal of these books is that the jerk is controlled. Christian Grey modulates his behavior for love. Edward Cullen restrains himself for romance. In a world with uncontrolled monsters, half the romance and the dream is the fantasy of a controlled one.
It's the same reason roller coasters are fun... For someone else.
... still dont wanna read em, tho. I do not personally like them.
i appreciate ur pov asf but no way u compared fourth wing to berserk???
I like romance but I don’t blame you for saying you don’t. A lot of them are heavily saturated and promoted with tropes that the plot isn’t mentioned 🤷🏾♀️. I just finished a dark romance recently and I think I’m gonna lay off the romance for a while 😅
I'm also not a fan of romance. Partly because I only knew it from Harlequin.
Sadly, I have to read some now because I finished my first novel for NaNoWriMo, and what was intended as a single stand-alone book has become a trilogy. The second novel is going to be a romance, both classic and modern style. So it's gong to be" Ivanhoe is Sleepless in Seattle." Adventure, betrayal and a battle for glory and honor mixed with a fight for true love. But her intended is a good and decent guy, so he'll never co-star in a bodice ripper.
I do have Emily Henry's "Beach Read". It came highly recommended, but so far I dislike both parties and hope they end up together because it would serve them right.
"The Lines We Cross" by Randa Abdel-Fattah was much better. The characters are complex and avoid stereotypes quite well.
My favorite was "100 Days of Sunlight" by Abbie Emmons. A YA romance with decent and worthwhile leads if you ignore their tempers and rough edges. Nobody is perfect.
Try Outlander or Nicholas Sparks.
really great video, amusingly enough i was tossing around talking about something similar on my channel. i really do like romance in things, but i've noticed that i find when the central plolt line in thing i read or watch IS the romance, i find it way less frequent that i enjoy it because it doesn't seem as naturalistic. when it's supplemental to a different plotline, i find it feeling more naturally integrated, if that makes sense.
other commenters have also rightly pointed out many people just shit on things women like. i see the "dime novel" romance books as no different than the frequent male power fantasy action slop we get, but of course only one of those regularly takes heat. both are just kind of wish fantasy fulfillment when it comes down to it, which aren't for me, but i see the appeal. i just wish it was easier to find romance that feels more realistic.
butut if im being real the bulk of people who engage with romance don't want that, they want easy wild brain-off thrills, exactly the same as the men who engage with their empty power fantasy slop, and that why a lot of that is what bubbles to the top and it's way harder to find stuff with nuance. i read a lot of sci-fi and MAN did it take a while to find find the good shit and not the technocolonialist white power fantasies that people so often recommend.
Ever since I was a kid I was indifferent to disliking romance in any media I consumed. When I was 16 I discovered that it's just straight romance I don't like I love gay romance stories. About I year ago I figured out it's because I'm aroace and I like it because I can disassociate myself from the romance.
I feel seen. I don't like romances, I tried soooo hard. I never voice my opinion regarding that because I'm afraid I'll be labeled as a pick me. I don't hate on anyone for liking romances, they just aren't for me, I'll probably keep trying until I find one I enjoy.
I’m a woman who generally dislikes romance books. And honestly, it’s usually the first criteria that I can’t vibe with in them. I usually find the female main character to be extremely immature, insufferable, and completely unable to relate to. The male character is usually slightly more tolerable to me, but they usually eventually annoy me as well.
It’s funny because I disliked Love Theoretically sooo much. I didn’t find it funny at all, I just found it annoying and completely oblivious to the fact that her feminist worldview was constantly being debunked by reality. The female main character was supposed to be super smart but she just…wasn’t. The author couldn’t even make up a fiction to fit her narrative. Believing men get ‘pee-erections’ and being mad at a man a decade later for bringing up a very va1id criticism of her field of study wasn’t a good way to convince me the main character was smart. It was just embarrassing.
Fourth Wing, oh boy. Yeah, I don’t like dragons in my sx. Or sx in my dragons. The main character was absolutely insufferable Mary Sue and she picked the wrong guy. They deserved each other though, they were both terrible. Although I guess her best friend who just wanted to protect her instead of seeing her put her life in danger for no reason other than defiance dodged a bullet with that one.
Never read any of the others you mentioned, but those were what you liked, we have very different tastes. LOL Although I do plan to try Emily Henry. I might actually like her if she writes books for ‘adult attention spans’, as the immature tone of most romance books is one of the many things I usually dislike about them. I also tend to enjoy reading things that are more serious in tone.
The only popular romance I’ve read recently that I actually did like was Divine Rivals. I was very surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did, as I usually don’t like YA much either. The sequel wasn’t quite as good, but it was still way better than Fourth Wing. I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but I just thought the relationship and way love was presented was way healthier than others. Unlike a lot of romance, it wasn’t just based on the characters being h0rny, but actually getting to know each other as friends/rivals before the romance started.
At the end of the day, maybe I do just kind of dislike my own gender though. Because I dislike that most other women like things like Fourth Wing and Love Theoretically. I think the MCs of those books had absolutely awful mentalities, and that’s mostly why I didn’t enjoy them. And I feel like those same mentalities are why a lot of women DO enjoy them, because they think the same way and can relate to the immature way these characters did thought and did things. And yeah, I don’t like that. It’s embarrassing to me that so many of my sx are that.. not-smart.
TLDR; Basically, I don’t like romance because I’m a woman who is actually NOT a feminist, and it seems like most romance books are meant for women with that particular view.
I didn’t mention it, but I also think it’s boring to know that they will always end up together in the end before you even pick up the book. I tend to enjoy endings that are more ambiguous, unsettling, and/or bittersweet rather than just happy. Maybe that’s why I enjoyed Divine Rivals more, because it ended on a cliffhanger by stopping at the girl-loses-boy stage. LOL
It sounds everything the same to me, the characters, the plot. I get bored lol they are all so childish and immature 😢 and unrealistic asf
I think it's fine to say that a genre isn't for you as long as you're not being a dick to people who are into romance. I'm weird with romance. There has to be a gimmick or an interesting setting. I love the Dangerous Damsels books because they are funny but also have magic.
No, no, you've unfortunately been subjected to the book-tok-ification of publishing. I too, hate a lot of the tropes mentioned and love the Romance genre - but you've gotta look hard for something that will suit you. Look, if the genre is so big it can produce a book about amish vampires in space, you can find something for you. Promise.
Im just not a reader
You never know, one might be aromantic.
dunno about this one. im a hopeless romantic, very much lover girl, but i still don’t like these books. it’s not nothing to do with being aro or ace. remember fiction does not affect real life
thank you for the video
You're just based
Imma be real, im not sure how you came to the conclusion that you might be sexist but thats kinda sad. You're valid in why you like or dislike something, but the reason why you like or dislike it is the nuance people need when it comes to media.
I dont like "new age" romance novels but I know I'm not a misogynist, I just hate. The male leads suck, the female leads live for sex and nothing more, and occasionally we'll just include something really weird and then we just gloss past that.
Hell I used to think I just didn't like anime because I didn't like dragon ball when almost everyone I knew did. As I went on and followed the series I actually went on to hate it for very similar reasons ironically. Every main character sucks, the villains are bland and uninspired, and despite how often these people screw up there is no accountability taken.
I think it's just a shame factor, at least in my case. I was always called lame for not liking dragon ball, but I read manga for the characters and how the world changes as they grow, dragon ball doesn't have that and people who are especially invested wont get why you might not like it, kinda like how romance now focuses so much on the romance that the characters become cardboard
I know what you mean! Quite often, books in the genre of romance novels seem boring and predictable to me for one reason - the whole life of the heroine revolves around a man. It's unrealistic, it's boring, it doesn't happen. And besides, these same men are absolutely not worth making them the center of your life, even in a book. Often the men in these romance novels are criminals and simply bad people, I want to protect the female protagonist, I don’t want her to cease to exist as a person and dissolve into a man.