Number 2 is so good. When a guy gets in his head ... Its like the difference between practice and the game. He's practiced this, but now the lights are on, and they're hot! And He's in over his head a bit. He's feeling the pressure and He stops doing the things that got him there. I wish more women would try to see it from the man's point of view.
He just pretty much told me what I have been struggling with for verbatim in the first 2. I like to be clear and simple. I overthink too much and have to pray. I have to say something soon I know.
I’m not going to even start with the man that showed me in so many ways that he likes me and awkward action later. I had anxiety and came off as shy because of this man! It’s been almost 2 years and I can’t get this man off my mind. After praying him away constantly, surrendering him to God the thought of him is still there.
Did you two lose contact completely? I mean you could talk to him...its better talk and have no regrets. Yes it feels weird. But ive learned the hard way to speak my mind
We senior citizens do things differently than you youngins . Ive been single, not dating for 30 years. I have no clue what goes on. .. and my love interest is 78... And very very Christ centered. I cant tell if he is just very kind or interested.
Awwww. ❤ That is so cute to see the older generations in love. It's very precious to me. I even watched a dating show on a TH-cam channel where it featured a group of senior citizens and middle-aged people who wanted to get back into dating. It was so interesting to see. I notice that older generations are very straight-forward, waste NO time, and are more blunt with each other, if they are interested or not! I hope it works out with you two. 😊❤❤❤
@@BetterTogether300 I firmly believe that the man should be the one to pursue. He already knows how I feel the ball is in his court. But sadly he said he won't marry again. And then on the other hand I see things that might say the opposite. I think he might be uncertain or simply extremely kind... And I'm misreading. Let God's will be done not mine.
This is gonna be entertaining😂❤ To put the men at ease just know the majority of us Christian women were bestowed discernment.... The Lord will always reveal what we need to know to allow us to stay in the will of God even if the men are struggling. I personally am very straight forward..I don't beat around the bush. (I literally can't😂) Godly men, just know the godly women are just as excited and if you can gauge fruits... You'll be aight!!😉 God bless all the future couples, may your relationships be all that God created them to be!!❤❤❤
This is so on time and accurate. I have been getting to know someone seven years, and in the beginning he seemed like he was pursuing, and he invited me to a church function at another church and I told him no because I was going on vacation that weekend. I have to keep praying and believing God has complete control and His timing is perfect. My friend now actually does seem like he’s purposely not pursuing me, but God has to intervene and I have to release everything to Him in faith.
I feel you. I first met this guy late last year and took a liking in him but I didn't think too much about it. I then met him again earlier this month and I think l really like him for real. We normally meet in groups because we have mutual friends and sometimes when he visits my church. I don't know how I can show him that I like him and I hope he likes me too. We hardly talk for a long time because we are always around people so it's hard for me to tell. He invited me to his church I'm not sure if he was just being friendly or what but I told him I'll go one day. I woul love to visit his church however, since he frequent our church we might cross paths. I told some of my friends that I like him and they encouraged I initiate group outings and invite him but I'm scared.
@@kgoropanemokgohloa3205 I encourage you to invite him. Make a point of talking to him. Men need indication that you like him back by showing him attention.
This may be why he’s been so awkward with me physically?? We’ve given some sweet hugs as good friends, then suddenly he reaches for a handshake from me! I raised my brow and asked for a hug…completely unaware of his thoughts 🤣 🤔
There's so much I don't understand. I don't understand why God gave me a heart for marriage, when it seems like I'm destined to be single. I don't understand why I've prayed for God to take the desire for marriage out of my heart, but it keeps getting stronger every day. For years I prayed to God to send a beautiful and kind man to be a husband to me, and to shower with love... a lot happened, I went through a lot, but marriage never did happen, and I'm here in loneliness. He created me with a heart that longs to give and receive love, but he didn't even make somebody for me. I don't understand why God gave me the sex drive of a jack rabbit, but cursed me with a lifetime of celibacy. I am so confused!
I understand completely....what God has been teaching me in this season is to rest in Him and trust that He will bring the blessing when you need it most. I've prayed for a while for God to move those desires and even today I've had them but I've been reminded to wait on Him and delight myself in Him. As I surrender my questions to God and dig more into Him I find that He changes my focus I hope you will be encouraged! I don't have the answers but God does. And no matter what He is good and He works all things for your good, even if it doesn't seem so. I'll be praying for you!
It's a painful processes that no one can explain. We where designed for man/woman relationships but then sin happened. The enemies goal is to separate man and woman to destroy humanity completely. I'm seeing fewer and fewer lasting marriages as time goes on. I have seen visions of judgement coming. God has removed himself and turned us over to our own lust. We have to die to everyone and only fallow Jesus. It gets harder but God will make you stronger if your following his will. Who knows, you might find yourself married one day after you let it go.
As Christian man i honestly can't relate with this yes i may take time to evaluate my intentions or if she's the right woman for me or if she's even interested but im still gonna let her know im interested try an spend some time with her go grab a coffee or something and im not gonna avoid innocent physical contact there's nothing wrong with a hug and if she looks pretty im gonna tell her if i like the way she looks in a certain outfit or certain way she does her hair im gonna tell her. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to the opposite sex that's how God made us
I think we all need to show a bit of grace. Word vomit comes from nerves and being around someone you love will always be a bit nerve wracking. IM OK with it and think its cute. A lot of men Don't have a lot of experience dating. I actually like this.
I have many male Christian friends who believe that they have to kiss a girl to show her that they are 'normal' all of them have crossed the line with other sexual behaviour. I asked them if the get turned and tempted by kissing. Inevitabley they all respond with a yes of course. So then i simply ask well what does the Bible state about temptation and 'fleeing' it? They get the picture but most have never had the guts or desire to examine why they are doing the initial behaviour that leads to sin. I say it's very simple avoid kissing before you're married. And it is that simple. Don't be totally alone in intimate embraces, don't go camping holidaying etc etc etc together before your marriage. But generally people are too psychologically, emotionally and spiritually weak to abstain from even kissing before marriage. The reason why the Bible doesn't state directly that kissing is wrong is because it was so far out of the question during Jesus time that you just wouldn't consider it. So if you are 'worldly' you will expect a man to be physical before the marital commitment. Might sound legalistic but if 85% of Christians are jumping each other before marriage then you can see who had it wrong.
😂 you are God sent. I am on day 1 of my Esther fast praying for a Christian man i met online January 2024. We are now in April and still never met in person.we have WhatsApped everyday since Jan with the odd video call. So i am fasting trying to understand why he hasn't invited me out. Yes I keep asking God why he isn't meeting up. He is a Doctor and will call me on duty. He whatsappd me at the end of his shift. Your video is timely lol thanks ❤❤❤❤❤
some of this is very common with people who grew up in church. sometimes in all of life, we forget the liberty we have in Christ and we end up overthinking to a fault. i know that some of us are self aware, hard to overcome, not impossible.
Yes, these are valid points, but also could indicate it's not right. I checked a man's strange behaviour against these things. He seemed attracted, backed off, then began pursuing me out of the blue some time later. Well, as God had been preparing me for marriage, it was easy to allow this advice to influence my perception. Turned out his motives were questionable. It's easy to allow our need for love to blind us with false narratives. Nothing against this as advice, just don't forget to pray on it and listen for the Lord's guidance.
Advice! A very traditional baptist christian man 18 years older than me, im 41. Is that too much difference in age? He has never been married. Im widowed my late husband of twenty years. We've been in same bible class last three months. He shows interest but hasn't done anything directly in pursuing me...
I think at our age (I’m 38), it’s different. If you like him and he is a godly man, maybe you can get to know him. I also have an ill husband and God’s been preparing my heart after 15 years of marriage. Tread carefully and prayerfully, but God could be placing you in a very sweet and loving relationship? If you were 21 and he was 18 years older, one might think he’s chasing your youth and beauty…and using you as a trophy. This sounds different 😉
Pray to God! Ask God if this man is truly for you…God show you if this man is. I know someone in my church that his wife and him are 13 years apart and she (37 years old) was previously married before, and he was never married (24 years old). He found her interesting and prayed to God to ask for her. They got together and God has been in the center of that relationship ever since. If this guy is got you, God will align you both together but you have to pray on it first. God bless!
@@jennhawkins5356 thank you for your advice. May God Grant you Joy as you walk through your husbands illness. Cling to tej fact that Our God is a God who promises to grant perseverance and encouragement Romans 15.
@@caitlinpojo2701 thank you I've been praying every day... God recently led me to first Kings chapter 3 asking and praying that God would Grant him a heart of understanding to be able to discern between evil and good people
omg I just asked God what to do with the guy I'm interested in, and this video shows up. I know that he's been struggling. Sometimes he texts me but sometimes he just doesn't but he always likes my stories on Instagram. 😅 I seriously don't know why but thank you Mark for this video. I know that guy is interested but he's just not moving like he was proactive to me in January. Recently he has some moves though.
@@Ihavetwobigcats when you said omg, but the person cannot comprehend it could mean gosh or goodness. Whatever. As for the guy, if you like him be sincere and approach him subtly. Women always have the ball in the court, it’s like you guys know it but can’t dribble at all. Men are simple, if he likes you then be patient. If he doesn’t like you, it’s because he doesn’t like you not because you did something wrong, I wish it was the same for us but Women are harsh that way. The only way he distanced himself is if you might have implied for him to keep his distance. If that is the case, all you have to do is imply you’re interested by asking him about his life and then mentioning to him why he hasn’t been reaching out as much as he used to. Depending on what he says all you have to say is I would like for us to keep in touch, maybe we should do a bible study over some coffee. A Godly man will take you on the offer and take charge from there. If he isn’t interested he will decline the offer not because he thinks ill of you but because he just simply is not interested. Or he will accept but insist in doing it exclusively as friends, a good man is direct. If you want a less direct approach simply ask him about his day and then just say we should keep in touch more often and based on how he responds to that then it will either be a green or red flag. Men are simple, period. Take my advice but most of all pray first. Amen.
Please ask God to give me specific wisdom and understanding & protect my heart and mind. Please ask God to reveal to me who is my life partner, the right one for me to marry and send him to me with His love and assurance. Thank you
Approach him, it’s that simple. You don’t throw yourself at him, just simply make conversation and introduce yourself to see how he responds afterwards. Now it’s up to him, you did your job. If he continues to talk to you and follow your social media posts then it’s a sign he likes you. Men are simple, I wish we men didn’t struggle as much.
I viewed on of his professional profile. Knowing very well that he'd get the notification. About two weeks later, he texted me on one social app. Moral: For me, poke him (As a sign of being interested.) but not more than that.
maybe he is interested in me because he find me different from the other he even thought im not attracted in physiscal aspects! just praying that he clear his mind and dont give mix signals in the long run...if we will just be friends im ok with it..i let GOD give the result.
Yeah he was super careful, weird and cautious but then after 4th date he asked me to come over his place to maybe help him decorate to rent out rooms....but things went bad when he asked me if its soon to have sex. I was honestly not expecting this to happen on his couch (tacky)and now super disappointed in myself and him. I feel shame and now need to repent. Feel so dirty and I know better. I ended the relationship but he is asking me if thats me talking or does God want me to end it. I just sent him one of your videos ❤ I'm to sick to my stomach to talk with him again. I wanted a Christian man because i assumed he wouldn't do this ...just so super disappointed in me, him and everything else that happened.
@@MrExade I understand culture plays a very important role. I heard Asians tend to be extremely shy in expressing their emotions or standing out. I wonder if that is true for Christians too, in general (I know personality influences also). For example, how do I know an Asian Christian guy likes me back? BTW I am not Asian.
you can tell if he is shy in other cirumstances too, right? if he is then it has nothing to do with him being asian or christian. Just take the initiative if he is shy and ask if he wanna hang out or something and see what his reaction is like.@@Joanna-JohnJuan6.40
also, speaking for myself.. I would prob. not be asking a girl from church or where you will meet up later on, to hang out/ show interest in that way if i see no interest from her first, apart from normal conversation.. like subtle signs. It would be very akward later on if she wasn't interested at all and I had to meet her all the time in those circumstances after tbh.@@Joanna-JohnJuan6.40
@@walkthroughthestorm39No offense but as a chick, this is terrible advice. If someone asks me out and specifically references brother/sister, I would not only think it's weird but I'd feel like they had been dishonest with me right off the bat.
Here's the truth about all us Christian men: - Our sex hormones are 10x that of a woman (it doesn't matter if a man is Christian or not, since age 13/14 til we die, we're in a constant battle with it). Most of the men's group topics are on porn, masturbation, and sex (married, or single..ALL men are dealing with it). - If we ask women out for coffee, note that we've thought about this for quite some time. - If you notice eye contact from us many times, from across the sanctuary, or foyer, we purposefully sought you out, and we're definitely attracted to you. - If you're attracted to any man, don't make it difficult for us to talk with you. Women need to put themselves into the vicinity of men they like. If they don't, we get frustrated, and will most likely find someone else that gives us better attention, as we think you're not interested. - We'll tell you we like you, by our actions first. Words always come after, and usually its by the woman saying it. If we keep wanting to talk with you, asking you out anywhere, go out of our way to be in your vicinity, join groups that you're in..its showing we like you. - If men say to any woman "I just want to be friends with you", what he means is he isn't attracted to you, and is trying to be nice instead of outright rejecting you. He will try to then avoid you at all costs. However, when a woman notices a man liking her, and she says "Let's be friends", the man isn't looking at her as a friend, and is trying to be the "nice guy" in order to be with her. - Most men suffer from rejection, a lot more than women do. It does take a lot for us to ask out a woman we're attracted to. We may be really shy at first (a man with few words), but eventually we open up when we know women like us in return. However, there are men that are very self-confident which may be seem aggressive to women. Women may consider these men to be players, or ungodly. Basically just use discernment on his intentions.
Haha oh my goodness, of course he thinks you don’t like him if you rejected him. What kind of question is that? I would give you advice but I won’t because you are trouble for that poor guy. Next time be sincere, men are simple.
@@M.M.49 From my understanding you should heal first if you are still struggling from a past boyfriend or relationship. Can you elaborate on “upfront”? If he showed interest by expressing that he likes you and invited you on a date and that reminds you of past troubles then you might not be ready to date. The fact that you are questioning your Christian character means that you need to heal and talk to your pastor or Church friends, anyone you can confide in to give you perspective on your doubt. If your past sin continues to haunt you then you haven’t matured yet as a Christian because there is no such thing as Christian enough, you either are or aren’t. Maybe you should prioritize your walk in Christ first before you start dating. Just because you stumble in your faith it doesn’t mean you are a bad Christian as long as you have a repentant heart, read the word, and pray on it. The way I see it now you might have done the right thing but it shouldn’t be based on your past experiences. You are a new creation in Christ, if you believe a relationship can hinder your growth in Christ then continue to pursue the faith until you feel right to date again. You should only open up to a man when you begin to trust him after dating him for a while. I wouldn’t recommend you tell him up front because he can use that to manipulate you. A man of God will probably keep his distance at first if you were upfront about it, but if he is interested, he will pray for you and keep in touch with you from time to time. But don’t tell him that you rejected him because of past trauma, only after you begin to date him for a while then you can reveal those feelings. I would say that you be friends with the guy and tell him you aren’t ready to date because you are in your walk with Christ. If he desires you as a man of God then be patient and the Lord will make it happen. You guys can message each other and go out with other people in Church and participate in events. Eventually the two of you will be together if it is meant to be. Pray on it and talk to those you trust, I am giving you my opinion. I find myself in a similar situation where a woman rejected me because she was divorced. I still like her, and I talk to her from time to time. Time itself will determine if we can be, I will be patient and ask her again, if she declines my offer once more then know we are just friends for good.
@@doscaminos204 thank you so much for taking the time to answer me here :) that’s very nice to read! And it’s good advice. I think I was not ready back then but I did feel a pull to the inside and the faith of this guy, he talked about what he wishes for in general to me (being married until death, having children and plans for his career, finding similarities etc.,) and asked me many questions, he seemed smitten and excited but didn’t ask me out- since I was slowing him down and kept my distance. We talked about faith instead and I started a reading group and invited him to it, since I wanted to get to know him better, & now we decided what to read next, so we write from time to time and what he sends me brings me closer to God. I feel like I am learning from him and I shall be patient until we meet again. I got sick and he wrote to me he will pray for me & send me some texts to help me with my suffering. You are right, he will ask me out, if he is serious and I have more time to heal and grow in the meantime. God will bring us together if he is the right person. I wish you the best for whoever will become your wife in the future!
This fast sharing of wishes for the future and compatibility was what happened to me before and “broke my heart” and some of my trust, so I want this to be slow and not make wrong decisions.
Hi mark when you are with someone and you get spiritual warfare, so you feel tempted to leave that person does that mean God doesn’t want you with that person?
I strongly dislike your constant use of the word “pursue” when talking about a Christian man approaching a Christian woman for the purpose of dating/starting a relationship. A hunter pursues prey. That’s the appropriate use of the word. Women aren’t deer or rabbits or wild boars. We’re people. So, really, think more closely about your words. Clearly, I know what you’re trying to say but it wasn’t well said. Secondly, I think a lot of the traits you mentioned are accurate because I’ve seen various Christian guys act this way when they liked someone. Usually, they didn’t display all four of these traits but some of them. The thing is, I used to see this sort of thing in college and a little after. No man over 25 should be acting so childishly. No one likes to be word-vomited on and it’s a sign that a person doesn’t have his act together. A man who’s that immature will, most likely, be immature in other ways. Rather than encouraging Christian girls and women to put up and be patient with this kind of behavior, the advice should be that these are red flags and guys like that should be avoided - at least until they grow up some more. Life is full of difficult and challenging situations. That doesn’t mean you handle them by being all weird and making the other person feel uncomfortable or confused.
I'm a chick. I'm pursuing excellence in my career, I'm pursuing better physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I recognize that some words are red flags for some folks, but this word can be used safely in many different contexts without referencing hunting. Also, dating is hard for all people... I think being a believer makes it a tad harder. Not everyone has every single area of their life perfected, so maybe don't write someone off for one red flag.
I actually see nothing wrong with his use of the word “pursue”. I think he does a good job of teaching, it’s just your perception of it. Not everything he says in the way he says it will be to everyone’s liking.
What happens when you were best friends before... And now everything is all wonky? Like we dated for a few months, and then he said that dating seems wrong... THEN he says he's not interested in me at all??? We went from really good friends to not talking at all?
if he says he is not interested at all, he prob. isnt, if you still think you might be interested, you wouldn't say so and screw things up ^^ and now its akward enough to go back to being friends again is my guess as a man.
Well, my ex dated me for 10 months. We kept it pure, prayed, went to church, etc. After taking me home to meet his family, he dumped me. I'm heartbroken. Now he wants to be friends. I've just avoided him. IMO, it's hard to go back as friends after you've been in a romantic relationship. It's going backwards. I would be so hurt, if he started talking to other women around me. I wouldn't be friends until you are fully healed. I couldn't do it.
@@Elijahhaswings I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know how heartbreak feels right now, I will be praying for you my friend. Thank you for sharing your story.
Give him time ladies 🙏🏾❤️
yes, don't push it
AMEN. I totally agree. Thank u..
Yes. I will waited on God
Number 2 is so good. When a guy gets in his head ...
Its like the difference between practice and the game. He's practiced this, but now the lights are on, and they're hot! And He's in over his head a bit. He's feeling the pressure and He stops doing the things that got him there.
I wish more women would try to see it from the man's point of view.
He sometimes get excited and physical and pulls back 😂. Think he's struggling with his flesh and being right with God
He just pretty much told me what I have been struggling with for verbatim in the first 2. I like to be clear and simple. I overthink too much and have to pray. I have to say something soon I know.
I’m not going to even start with the man that showed me in so many ways that he likes me and awkward action later. I had anxiety and came off as shy because of this man! It’s been almost 2 years and I can’t get this man off my mind. After praying him away constantly, surrendering him to God the thought of him is still there.
Did you two lose contact completely? I mean you could talk to him...its better talk and have no regrets. Yes it feels weird. But ive learned the hard way to speak my mind
2 years is way too long if you are mature age, he probably is not the one for you
We senior citizens do things differently than you youngins . Ive been single, not dating for 30 years. I have no clue what goes on. .. and my love interest is 78... And very very Christ centered. I cant tell if he is just very kind or interested.
Awwww. ❤ That is so cute to see the older generations in love. It's very precious to me.
I even watched a dating show on a TH-cam channel where it featured a group of senior citizens and middle-aged people who wanted to get back into dating. It was so interesting to see. I notice that older generations are very straight-forward, waste NO time, and are more blunt with each other, if they are interested or not!
I hope it works out with you two. 😊❤❤❤
It's unreciprocated 😢
@@Janet-b1f How do you know for sure? Did you ask him how he really felt about you?
@user ...flirt,. Or you cd ask,hm..so and so, when r u going to ask me out on a date, or you can
drop hints to see if he can pick them up
@@BetterTogether300 I firmly believe that the man should be the one to pursue. He already knows how I feel the ball is in his court. But sadly he said he won't marry again. And then on the other hand I see things that might say the opposite. I think he might be uncertain or simply extremely kind... And I'm misreading. Let God's will be done not mine.
This is gonna be entertaining😂❤ To put the men at ease just know the majority of us Christian women were bestowed discernment.... The Lord will always reveal what we need to know to allow us to stay in the will of God even if the men are struggling. I personally am very straight forward..I don't beat around the bush. (I literally can't😂) Godly men, just know the godly women are just as excited and if you can gauge fruits... You'll be aight!!😉 God bless all the future couples, may your relationships be all that God created them to be!!❤❤❤
This is so on time and accurate. I have been getting to know someone seven years, and in the beginning he seemed like he was pursuing, and he invited me to a church function at another church and I told him no because I was going on vacation that weekend. I have to keep praying and believing God has complete control and His timing is perfect.
My friend now actually does seem like he’s purposely not pursuing me, but God has to intervene and I have to release everything to Him in faith.
I think an honest conversation is needed.
I feel you. I first met this guy late last year and took a liking in him but I didn't think too much about it. I then met him again earlier this month and I think l really like him for real. We normally meet in groups because we have mutual friends and sometimes when he visits my church. I don't know how I can show him that I like him and I hope he likes me too. We hardly talk for a long time because we are always around people so it's hard for me to tell. He invited me to his church I'm not sure if he was just being friendly or what but I told him I'll go one day. I woul love to visit his church however, since he frequent our church we might cross paths. I told some of my friends that I like him and they encouraged I initiate group outings and invite him but I'm scared.
@@kgoropanemokgohloa3205 I encourage you to invite him. Make a point of talking to him. Men need indication that you like him back by showing him attention.
This may be why he’s been so awkward with me physically?? We’ve given some sweet hugs as good friends, then suddenly he reaches for a handshake from me! I raised my brow and asked for a hug…completely unaware of his thoughts 🤣 🤔
hahahaha as happened with me as well!
Nothing wrong with a hug
Okay…now you know everything..what will you do 😮?
Could be that. :) Or maybe he thought he had bad breath that day.
You're brunette so probably.
There's so much I don't understand. I don't understand why God gave me a heart for marriage, when it seems like I'm destined to be single. I don't understand why I've prayed for God to take the desire for marriage out of my heart, but it keeps getting stronger every day. For years I prayed to God to send a beautiful and kind man to be a husband to me, and to shower with love... a lot happened, I went through a lot, but marriage never did happen, and I'm here in loneliness. He created me with a heart that longs to give and receive love, but he didn't even make somebody for me. I don't understand why God gave me the sex drive of a jack rabbit, but cursed me with a lifetime of celibacy. I am so confused!
I understand completely....what God has been teaching me in this season is to rest in Him and trust that He will bring the blessing when you need it most.
I've prayed for a while for God to move those desires and even today I've had them but I've been reminded to wait on Him and delight myself in Him. As I surrender my questions to God and dig more into Him I find that He changes my focus
I hope you will be encouraged! I don't have the answers but God does. And no matter what He is good and He works all things for your good, even if it doesn't seem so.
I'll be praying for you!
How old are you? If you don’t mind telling me.
Same... now I pray to take the desire away
Beautiful answer! 🙏🏽💜@@lialsidney3789
It's a painful processes that no one can explain. We where designed for man/woman relationships but then sin happened. The enemies goal is to separate man and woman to destroy humanity completely. I'm seeing fewer and fewer lasting marriages as time goes on. I have seen visions of judgement coming. God has removed himself and turned us over to our own lust. We have to die to everyone and only fallow Jesus. It gets harder but God will make you stronger if your following his will. Who knows, you might find yourself married one day after you let it go.
I'm struggling on how to balance responding correctly and guarding my heart. Can you help me enlightened on this, Mark? Thank you again.
This 🎯🎯🎯
This explains everything. Was driving me nuts!! 😅🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
As Christian man i honestly can't relate with this yes i may take time to evaluate my intentions or if she's the right woman for me or if she's even interested but im still gonna let her know im interested try an spend some time with her go grab a coffee or something and im not gonna avoid innocent physical contact there's nothing wrong with a hug and if she looks pretty im gonna tell her if i like the way she looks in a certain outfit or certain way she does her hair im gonna tell her. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to the opposite sex that's how God made us
Thank you 💗🙏🏾
Not everyone is the same nor reacts the same so That's fine as well.
Fantastic video, very accurate with what I’ve seen and done personally.
This is a very good video. Christians get so hung up on this stuff. I went through all of this in the past.
I think we all need to show a bit of grace. Word vomit comes from nerves and being around someone you love will always be a bit nerve wracking. IM OK with it and think its cute. A lot of men Don't have a lot of experience dating. I actually like this.
yep, accurate. im guilty of all these things!
This my exact situation. Wow! Thank you Mark😊
If someone has gotten "emotionally beat up" in the past, or he's a widower, he'll be more cautious.
Prayer so important to pray for him!! God give home insight!
I have many male Christian friends who believe that they have to kiss a girl to show her that they are 'normal' all of them have crossed the line with other sexual behaviour. I asked them if the get turned and tempted by kissing. Inevitabley they all respond with a yes of course. So then i simply ask well what does the Bible state about temptation and 'fleeing' it? They get the picture but most have never had the guts or desire to examine why they are doing the initial behaviour that leads to sin. I say it's very simple avoid kissing before you're married. And it is that simple. Don't be totally alone in intimate embraces, don't go camping holidaying etc etc etc together before your marriage. But generally people are too psychologically, emotionally and spiritually weak to abstain from even kissing before marriage. The reason why the Bible doesn't state directly that kissing is wrong is because it was so far out of the question during Jesus time that you just wouldn't consider it. So if you are 'worldly' you will expect a man to be physical before the marital commitment. Might sound legalistic but if 85% of Christians are jumping each other before marriage then you can see who had it wrong.
He is 100% right. Just like God tells us to test every spirit. We russel against not flesh & blood but principalities and powers.
Master i will be waiting for you still
Thank you Mark!
God bless you
😂 you are God sent. I am on day 1 of my Esther fast praying for a Christian man i met online January 2024. We are now in April and still never met in person.we have WhatsApped everyday since Jan with the odd video call. So i am fasting trying to understand why he hasn't invited me out. Yes I keep asking God why he isn't meeting up. He is a Doctor and will call me on duty. He whatsappd me at the end of his shift. Your video is timely lol thanks ❤❤❤❤❤
BE VERY CAREFUL OF THOSE WHATSApp guys. MOST are scams. Been there several times.
@@dawnstonerock4253 scams in What way?
Thank you for the video ❤
This was very helpful. thank you
some of this is very common with people who grew up in church. sometimes in all of life, we forget the liberty we have in Christ and we end up overthinking to a fault. i know that some of us are self aware, hard to overcome, not impossible.
Yes, these are valid points, but also could indicate it's not right. I checked a man's strange behaviour against these things. He seemed attracted, backed off, then began pursuing me out of the blue some time later. Well, as God had been preparing me for marriage, it was easy to allow this advice to influence my perception. Turned out his motives were questionable. It's easy to allow our need for love to blind us with false narratives. Nothing against this as advice, just don't forget to pray on it and listen for the Lord's guidance.
Thank you for this video and the informations...
Advice! A very traditional baptist christian man 18 years older than me, im 41. Is that too much difference in age? He has never been married. Im widowed my late husband of twenty years. We've been in same bible class last three months. He shows interest but hasn't done anything directly in pursuing me...
Yes
I think at our age (I’m 38), it’s different. If you like him and he is a godly man, maybe you can get to know him. I also have an ill husband and God’s been preparing my heart after 15 years of marriage. Tread carefully and prayerfully, but God could be placing you in a very sweet and loving relationship? If you were 21 and he was 18 years older, one might think he’s chasing your youth and beauty…and using you as a trophy. This sounds different 😉
Pray to God! Ask God if this man is truly for you…God show you if this man is. I know someone in my church that his wife and him are 13 years apart and she (37 years old) was previously married before, and he was never married (24 years old). He found her interesting and prayed to God to ask for her. They got together and God has been in the center of that relationship ever since. If this guy is got you, God will align you both together but you have to pray on it first. God bless!
@@jennhawkins5356 thank you for your advice. May God Grant you Joy as you walk through your husbands illness. Cling to tej fact that Our God is a God who promises to grant perseverance and encouragement Romans 15.
@@caitlinpojo2701 thank you I've been praying every day... God recently led me to first Kings chapter 3 asking and praying that God would Grant him a heart of understanding to be able to discern between evil and good people
omg I just asked God what to do with the guy I'm interested in, and this video shows up. I know that he's been struggling. Sometimes he texts me but sometimes he just doesn't but he always likes my stories on Instagram. 😅 I seriously don't know why but thank you Mark for this video. I know that guy is interested but he's just not moving like he was proactive to me in January. Recently he has some moves though.
It could be him having doubts. He might feel that you don't feel the same so that might be why he is unsure
@@bt_the_yank6234 well I'm so sure and I sometimes invited him before but he struggled a lot 🤦🏻♀️
good to hear, also dont use the lord's name in vain, repent please
@@Nomad_7777 I don't think I've done that?! 😦 Why do you think so?
@@Ihavetwobigcats when you said omg, but the person cannot comprehend it could mean gosh or goodness. Whatever. As for the guy, if you like him be sincere and approach him subtly. Women always have the ball in the court, it’s like you guys know it but can’t dribble at all. Men are simple, if he likes you then be patient. If he doesn’t like you, it’s because he doesn’t like you not because you did something wrong, I wish it was the same for us but Women are harsh that way. The only way he distanced himself is if you might have implied for him to keep his distance. If that is the case, all you have to do is imply you’re interested by asking him about his life and then mentioning to him why he hasn’t been reaching out as much as he used to. Depending on what he says all you have to say is I would like for us to keep in touch, maybe we should do a bible study over some coffee. A Godly man will take you on the offer and take charge from there. If he isn’t interested he will decline the offer not because he thinks ill of you but because he just simply is not interested. Or he will accept but insist in doing it exclusively as friends, a good man is direct. If you want a less direct approach simply ask him about his day and then just say we should keep in touch more often and based on how he responds to that then it will either be a green or red flag. Men are simple, period. Take my advice but most of all pray first. Amen.
The struggle is real and confusing.🤦🏻♀️
Thank you 🙏🙏
Please ask God to give me specific wisdom and understanding & protect my heart and mind. Please ask God to reveal to me who is my life partner, the right one for me to marry and send him to me with His love and assurance. Thank you
how do I invite a guy to pursue me, if I am interested in him?
Approach him, it’s that simple. You don’t throw yourself at him, just simply make conversation and introduce yourself to see how he responds afterwards. Now it’s up to him, you did your job. If he continues to talk to you and follow your social media posts then it’s a sign he likes you. Men are simple, I wish we men didn’t struggle as much.
I viewed on of his professional profile. Knowing very well that he'd get the notification. About two weeks later, he texted me on one social app. Moral: For me, poke him (As a sign of being interested.) but not more than that.
How sweet
maybe he is interested in me because he find me different from the other he even thought im not attracted in physiscal aspects! just praying that he clear his mind and dont give mix signals in the long run...if we will just be friends im ok with it..i let GOD give the result.
Yeah he was super careful, weird and cautious but then after 4th date he asked me to come over his place to maybe help him decorate to rent out rooms....but things went bad when he asked me if its soon to have sex. I was honestly not expecting this to happen on his couch (tacky)and now super disappointed in myself and him. I feel shame and now need to repent. Feel so dirty and I know better.
I ended the relationship but he is asking me if thats me talking or does God want me to end it. I just sent him one of your videos ❤
I'm to sick to my stomach to talk with him again. I wanted a Christian man because i assumed he wouldn't do this ...just so super disappointed in me, him and everything else that happened.
This is encouraging. Does this apply to all Christian guys? What about Christin Asian guys?
why would it be any different?
@@MrExade I understand culture plays a very important role. I heard Asians tend to be extremely shy in expressing their emotions or standing out. I wonder if that is true for Christians too, in general (I know personality influences also). For example, how do I know an Asian Christian guy likes me back? BTW I am not Asian.
you can tell if he is shy in other cirumstances too, right? if he is then it has nothing to do with him being asian or christian.
Just take the initiative if he is shy and ask if he wanna hang out or something and see what his reaction is like.@@Joanna-JohnJuan6.40
also, speaking for myself.. I would prob. not be asking a girl from church or where you will meet up later on, to hang out/ show interest in that way if i see no interest from her first, apart from normal conversation.. like subtle signs. It would be very akward later on if she wasn't interested at all and I had to meet her all the time in those circumstances after tbh.@@Joanna-JohnJuan6.40
Some are true for me
He says, "We're saved, so why are making me wait until marriage?" Ugh!
please help us out Christian women, it's so hard to make a first move😭
Ask to go for a coffee as friendly brother sister thing
We don't want to make a move, we want bravery and honesty and kindness. Unless we're golddiggers, then avoid!
@@walkthroughthestorm39No offense but as a chick, this is terrible advice. If someone asks me out and specifically references brother/sister, I would not only think it's weird but I'd feel like they had been dishonest with me right off the bat.
This is very helpful. Do you think it was a mistake or on purpose if a guy says he would call you but then he doesn't?
Mark are you in Canada?, in the vid?
And.. not all christian are godly mature man.
Amen 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Here's the truth about all us Christian men:
- Our sex hormones are 10x that of a woman (it doesn't matter if a man is Christian or not, since age 13/14 til we die, we're in a constant battle with it). Most of the men's group topics are on porn, masturbation, and sex (married, or single..ALL men are dealing with it).
- If we ask women out for coffee, note that we've thought about this for quite some time.
- If you notice eye contact from us many times, from across the sanctuary, or foyer, we purposefully sought you out, and we're definitely attracted to you.
- If you're attracted to any man, don't make it difficult for us to talk with you. Women need to put themselves into the vicinity of men they like. If they don't, we get frustrated, and will most likely find someone else that gives us better attention, as we think you're not interested.
- We'll tell you we like you, by our actions first. Words always come after, and usually its by the woman saying it.
If we keep wanting to talk with you, asking you out anywhere, go out of our way to be in your vicinity, join groups that you're in..its showing we like you.
- If men say to any woman "I just want to be friends with you", what he means is he isn't attracted to you, and is trying to be nice instead of outright rejecting you. He will try to then avoid you at all costs.
However, when a woman notices a man liking her, and she says "Let's be friends", the man isn't looking at her as a friend, and is trying to be the "nice guy" in order to be with her.
- Most men suffer from rejection, a lot more than women do. It does take a lot for us to ask out a woman we're attracted to. We may be really shy at first (a man with few words), but eventually we open up when we know women like us in return.
However, there are men that are very self-confident which may be seem aggressive to women. Women may consider these men to be players, or ungodly. Basically just use discernment on his intentions.
What if I had rejected him since I was not sure I will be Christian enough for him, could he now think I am not really interested? What should I do?
Haha oh my goodness, of course he thinks you don’t like him if you rejected him. What kind of question is that? I would give you advice but I won’t because you are trouble for that poor guy. Next time be sincere, men are simple.
@@doscaminos204 I am not trouble; he was so upfront that it reminded me of the traumas which were not healed by then :( should I tell him this?
@@M.M.49 From my understanding you should heal first if you are still struggling from a past boyfriend or relationship. Can you elaborate on “upfront”? If he showed interest by expressing that he likes you and invited you on a date and that reminds you of past troubles then you might not be ready to date. The fact that you are questioning your Christian character means that you need to heal and talk to your pastor or Church friends, anyone you can confide in to give you perspective on your doubt. If your past sin continues to haunt you then you haven’t matured yet as a Christian because there is no such thing as Christian enough, you either are or aren’t. Maybe you should prioritize your walk in Christ first before you start dating. Just because you stumble in your faith it doesn’t mean you are a bad Christian as long as you have a repentant heart, read the word, and pray on it. The way I see it now you might have done the right thing but it shouldn’t be based on your past experiences. You are a new creation in Christ, if you believe a relationship can hinder your growth in Christ then continue to pursue the faith until you feel right to date again. You should only open up to a man when you begin to trust him after dating him for a while. I wouldn’t recommend you tell him up front because he can use that to manipulate you. A man of God will probably keep his distance at first if you were upfront about it, but if he is interested, he will pray for you and keep in touch with you from time to time. But don’t tell him that you rejected him because of past trauma, only after you begin to date him for a while then you can reveal those feelings. I would say that you be friends with the guy and tell him you aren’t ready to date because you are in your walk with Christ. If he desires you as a man of God then be patient and the Lord will make it happen. You guys can message each other and go out with other people in Church and participate in events. Eventually the two of you will be together if it is meant to be. Pray on it and talk to those you trust, I am giving you my opinion. I find myself in a similar situation where a woman rejected me because she was divorced. I still like her, and I talk to her from time to time. Time itself will determine if we can be, I will be patient and ask her again, if she declines my offer once more then know we are just friends for good.
@@doscaminos204 thank you so much for taking the time to answer me here :) that’s very nice to read! And it’s good advice. I think I was not ready back then but I did feel a pull to the inside and the faith of this guy, he talked about what he wishes for in general to me (being married until death, having children and plans for his career, finding similarities etc.,) and asked me many questions, he seemed smitten and excited but didn’t ask me out- since I was slowing him down and kept my distance. We talked about faith instead and I started a reading group and invited him to it, since I wanted to get to know him better, & now we decided what to read next, so we write from time to time and what he sends me brings me closer to God. I feel like I am learning from him and I shall be patient until we meet again. I got sick and he wrote to me he will pray for me & send me some texts to help me with my suffering. You are right, he will ask me out, if he is serious and I have more time to heal and grow in the meantime. God will bring us together if he is the right person. I wish you the best for whoever will become your wife in the future!
This fast sharing of wishes for the future and compatibility was what happened to me before and “broke my heart” and some of my trust, so I want this to be slow and not make wrong decisions.
That one rich friend that hands you 10 000USD,from his/her allowance of 50 0000USD ,to make you feel better,yes sign me up.
Can God ask us to give up a sinful adiction such as masturbation in order to receive a spouse?
Hi mark when you are with someone and you get spiritual warfare, so you feel tempted to leave that person does that mean God doesn’t want you with that person?
More like a shy man
Yeah sure, Godly men act differently- what kind of b.s fairytale is this?!
I strongly dislike your constant use of the word “pursue” when talking about a Christian man approaching a Christian woman for the purpose of dating/starting a relationship. A hunter pursues prey. That’s the appropriate use of the word. Women aren’t deer or rabbits or wild boars. We’re people. So, really, think more closely about your words. Clearly, I know what you’re trying to say but it wasn’t well said.
Secondly, I think a lot of the traits you mentioned are accurate because I’ve seen various Christian guys act this way when they liked someone. Usually, they didn’t display all four of these traits but some of them.
The thing is, I used to see this sort of thing in college and a little after. No man over 25 should be acting so childishly. No one likes to be word-vomited on and it’s a sign that a person doesn’t have his act together. A man who’s that immature will, most likely, be immature in other ways. Rather than encouraging Christian girls and women to put up and be patient with this kind of behavior, the advice should be that these are red flags and guys like that should be avoided - at least until they grow up some more.
Life is full of difficult and challenging situations. That doesn’t mean you handle them by being all weird and making the other person feel uncomfortable or confused.
I'm a chick. I'm pursuing excellence in my career, I'm pursuing better physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I recognize that some words are red flags for some folks, but this word can be used safely in many different contexts without referencing hunting.
Also, dating is hard for all people... I think being a believer makes it a tad harder. Not everyone has every single area of their life perfected, so maybe don't write someone off for one red flag.
I actually see nothing wrong with his use of the word “pursue”. I think he does a good job of teaching, it’s just your perception of it. Not everything he says in the way he says it will be to everyone’s liking.
What happens when you were best friends before... And now everything is all wonky? Like we dated for a few months, and then he said that dating seems wrong... THEN he says he's not interested in me at all??? We went from really good friends to not talking at all?
if he says he is not interested at all, he prob. isnt, if you still think you might be interested, you wouldn't say so and screw things up ^^ and now its akward enough to go back to being friends again is my guess as a man.
Well, my ex dated me for 10 months. We kept it pure, prayed, went to church, etc. After taking me home to meet his family, he dumped me. I'm heartbroken. Now he wants to be friends. I've just avoided him. IMO, it's hard to go back as friends after you've been in a romantic relationship. It's going backwards. I would be so hurt, if he started talking to other women around me. I wouldn't be friends until you are fully healed. I couldn't do it.
@@Elijahhaswings I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know how heartbreak feels right now, I will be praying for you my friend. Thank you for sharing your story.
@@annaisaderp1581 thank you. Sending prayers to you.
I thought this video was going to piss me off but this is exactly how I think and feel right now about my Christian crush rn
Thank you!