Yes, there is a lot of help you can get for an elderly family member! I went thru this same thing several years ago ( my mom had moderate/advanced dementia) & you just have to ask for help or ask around to find the resources that help. There is lots of help for the elderly person & also the caregiver of the elderly person! Good luck !
Agreed. I was taking care of fil who had moderate dementia and his wife who needed medical care all day. I got to the point he was at. Doctors and nursing homes believed they needed to be in a home. However family decided to take over so I let them. O was to the point t of checking myself in for help of suicidal thoughts. My mind is still broke 3 months after. Wish him well. An idea would be to take grandma to mom's place and say you took her out now it's your turn to take care of her, or you could lose a son in the process too.
Dementia. A. Get a baby monitor to hear the mother at night. B. Look up the Area Agency on Aging (in the US). They will have the knowledge of what resources available. C. Also, many cities have offices that work with the elderly. D. You could also go after Mom for abandonment.
1st story: if he can swing it, get a nurse to come by once or twice a week just to give him a break. You can even post at some colleges for a nursing student to get some experience. If nothing else, reach out to a local church group for help. Also, what do you wanna bet mom is taking grandma's SSI money?
Story 1: If in the States OP can call 211 to get respite care/adult daycare for the grand mother. I know it's tough. I had a boyfriend who I helped take care his Mom with dementia. One time she called the cops on him and I saying that she was kidnapped by us. Nothing like having the police surrounded the house at 4 am. Everything turned out though. We explained about her dementia and the police understood.
My mother had to go to the homes of clients with dementia. She had the police called on her loads of times. One man called the police to say he was being sexually assaulted by PSWs and nurses when they went to change his diaper. However, one man with dementia proceeded to chase my mother and some other healthcare workers with a hatchet. And if patients are violent, they are not admitted to a nursing home/care facility. So, the burden is on the family to keep them at their home while nurses and other healthcare workers go to their home. There was a man that was extremely abusive to his wife and children and in his dementia, the abuse got worse and included violent outbursts against female PSWs and nurses. Finding male aids and nurses was difficult since nursing and home care aids are dominated by women.
My neighbor wasn't safe as a driver so his son took away his car. Guess who kept getting into trouble for "stealing" his dad's car despite the police requesting he removed the car because they were sick of finding him because he couldn't remember where he was or where he was going. Caretakers just can't win.
Yeah, make sure that you have that dementia issue ON RECORD, with doctors, and maybe even make a statement to the police (on a good day), that "Mama is not all there these days, and sometimes doesn't recognize family members or caregivers, and has been hallucinating, as well, thanks to her pain meds. Joy. Here is a list of people who DO belong here. If they're NOT on the list, then you can do something. We'll keep you updated." But at the very least, make sure you take her to the doctor, for the medical records.
So very often while listening to these stories, I become so grateful for being swedish, and this was no exception. Here, it's the governments responsibility to care for those in need. The grandmother would live in a safe home for others like her and the family wouldn't have to pay for it.
Yeah welcome to America we're everything is a commodity even health care and mental health. I mean it costs $600 U.S dollars just to get properly diagnosed with a mental health disorder.
When you commit an actual crime, it may not be up to the victim if charges are pressed or not. With sufficient evidence (such as the CC records, in this case), the DA will move forward, with or without co-operation.
I had a similar situation to story 3, although it was much more severe. I had been with my husband for almost 20 years. About 8 years before I asked for a divorce, he started handling our household finances, form that point on, he skimmed money as well as items of jewelry and also a silver bar from my deceased father, all of which came to me BEFORE I met him. I lost EVERYTHING to his scamming me over 8 years…
Credit Card Fraud. You don't need to press chages: the bank will handle it. It's out of your hands. Also, she's a adult, young, but still responsible for her actions.
@@Aria3210 She is, and she doesn't, because her family let her get away with stuff, because "she's young," and shouldn't face consequences. If they had made her face consequences when she goofed up as a child, she'd KNOW not to do this. "Oh! Don't press charges!" Well, we know who taught her to steal and commit fraud, don't we? Also, we know who taught her to persecute people for GOING TO CHURCH. Not getting all in your face about religion, but just GOING TO CHURCH. She wanted to "teach OP a lesson." Seems like she's the one who needs the lesson.
Story 3: NTA - At the very least, this deserves a good, hard think. How can you trust him to do what's best for your family after this? You caught him in a pretty serious lie. He deliberately let you struggle. There's flags one and two right there. If there's a third, this might be the perfect time to exit stage left.
I am currently going thru this. I have 2 teens and am caring for my 97 year old grandmother alone. I managed to find a Seniors Day Out program, that takes even Dementia patients. It has been a MASSIVE help. She is verbally abusive to me (not he kids, she loves them), and the neighbors have called the police ON HER several timesfor.her screaming at me. It's hard. Very hard. But there are available programs if you look.
It is a very hard job to care for someone with dementia, I did it for two years before I finally had to find a place for my person w/dementia. There were still some responsibilities, but it was doable. I feel for anybody who has to be a caregiver. ✌🏼❤️
I so feel for James. My grandma was diagnosed with dementia last year and it’s really hard for me because she raised me and now won’t even talk to me about so I have to talk to my mom and aunt to see how she’s doing. The only thing that gives me comfort is I was able to spend the week of my birthday with her before she was diagnosed. It is really life changing for the family as she was the one to do all of the babysitting and to now having to monitor her like a baby puts a lot on the family. Best wishes to OP boyfriend.
I took care of my mom who had Alzheimer Disease. I was abandoned by my sisters and others in the family. I know the stress and mental strain that caregiver's go through. It ages you. There are no words to explain how helpless a caregiver' feels.
I have caretaker burnout. My mother is 75 and I have to do everything for her . I am also handicapped myself. I can relate to this story. Sorry dude. Sending love.
If you live in the US please consider reaching out to your local community. There are usually several places that can offer help. Some nursing homes/community centers even offer a "daycare" for seniors. Others can help with food/transportation. I've both volunteered for and used these programs. I would also suggest joining support groups. There are several websites and pages for other caregivers to communicate and share there thoughts/solutions/suggestions ect. It can also be a good place to vent to others who understand your situation. Please reach out caregiving is stressful and no one should do it alone, you need help and there are people who are willing. I'm wishing you and your mother help, hope, happiness {{{hug}}}
This first story really hurts me. I also qas the primary day to day caregiver of a grandparent (cancer spread to brain, causing dementia symptoms) for about a year. If a facility home is needed, unfortunately it will likely cost several thousand USD a month. I also helped a friends mother for about 6 months, diabetic alzheimers, because they couldnt afford care. Medical care might pay for a daily nurse aid at least, a trained caregiver for a few hours. And speaking with a company like that can definitely offer options, and advice for their mental health/locations of caregiver support groups. OP cam help by researching caregiver support, books and articles. And just being there to tell bf that guilt and frustration is a very normal response to this ptsd causing situation.
Story one. My family has gone through dealing with my Mothers dementia and all of my siblings and I were so stressed that we were burning out in different ways. After it became dangerous for her to be in her apartment even with PSW’s coming in three times a day, she was put in a transitional home (a retirement home with a ward for those waiting for their permanent placement). This is in Canada by the way. Finally she got her placement in a wonderful nursing home. This is what OP’s family needs to do. Start looking into nursing homes. The wait is long so the sooner the better. I recommend the government runned ones as it is not all about the bottom line and the care is better in my opinion.
I was my mom's caretaker after stepdad passed on. It started with just a few days a week. After a few years, I moved in to give full care at 70 years old. The usual care was no problem; the shopping, paying bills, meds, meals, & doctor appts. I had to endure round the clock cigarette smoking unfortunately. That's what began my spiral into depression and already set tendencies for suicide with the state of the country. I had my own ailments that added to my frustration of being totally responsible for her. I suffered from sleep apnea, bouts of Bell's Palsy, & gout. In her last years, I began doing intermittent fasting and keto to lose weight. It kept me together until she finally passed on at 81. At 64, I moved to a retirement apt. building and slowly got my sanity back. TB Cont. ;-)
Story 1: Call adult services. As a nurse, you need outside help. Call grandmother's doctor. There are day treatment centers basically daycare. Good luck
Pressing charges on the cousins case is pretty much moot at this point because the credit card company has already pressed charges and is suing her for the damages. So unless the OP also wants to press charges. The difference is that the OP could charge for additional counts it will probably all go on the same court case and will just likely add to the charges. In the end the cousin will likely get a plea deal where they will get a misdemeanor and parole in return for repaying the charges. If the OP doesn’t want to have the drama LLamas come after her then she can leave things as they are. Speaking to the parents is also a good idea because if the parents are going to try to get the cousin off scott free then they are definitely a problem but if they will insist the cousin pay the money back then not also pressing charges would be OK.
As someone who had to take care of a dementia patient WITHOUT TRAINING, and with my own disabilities keeping me down, I have to say: Do NOT feel guilty about putting your mother in a facility. If you choose a GOOD facility, and visit frequently (making a splash about visiting frequently, so the staff KNOW you visit frequently and CHECK on your granny, and will NOTICE if they don't care for her), then she'll get much better care than you can give her. Dementia care is specialized, and it takes TRAINING. Moreover, it is MUCH TOO MUCH for ONE person, or even TWO to give. At the very least, consider putting her in a facility on the weekends, for respite care. He is feeling suicidal!!! You're in danger of losing him, and Granny, too, because if her caregiver commits suicide, she'll have no one. I don't know how much help (or not) the brother is giving, but clearly, your boyfriend needs RESPITE, so he can get at least 12 hours of sleep at a stretch, and catch up, and some time for his own needs. And don't even BOTHER asking the "mother" for ANYTHING. Seriously. "Oh, you're thinking of killing yourself? Oh, well. I have a NEW LOVER! So don't bother me." Well, what I say is, "Give her what she wants, and NEVER BOTHER HER AGAIN. NO CONTACT." Put Grandma in a GOOD facility, and take time every day (if you can, but at least 3 days a week) to visit her, and check on her and take care of her. Then, when you get home, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, so you'll have the strength to continue. Also, take a bit of time to study dementia and dementia care. There are tricks and routines to make it easier, and the professionals know these things. You don't. Do NOT let ANYONE make you feel guilty or "less than," for putting your mother in the care of PROFESSIONALS, rather than struggling with caring for her, yourself. You are giving her INSUFFICIENT care, because you are NOT trained, and even if you were, you are ONLY ONE PERSON, and NOT CAPABLE of serving another person 24/7/365 without respite! It's NOT POSSIBLE! So, putting her in a GOOD facility is literally the best thing FOR HER, and also benefits you. Do NOT feel guilty. You're going to feel guilty, anyway. So, let that residual guilt spur you to visiting as often as you possibly can, while still TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. And cut off that selfish, toxic, LAZY so-called "mother," who doesn't care if you live or die. UGH!
OP please call the police, this is a federal offense as it sounds like she crossed the state line. You parents are abusive to you ,OP, do not let them get away with this horrible breach of trust
Credit card story) I would definitely press charges. I further think, this is not the cousin's first time, and obviously, due to "family" she has seen very little consequences until now.
Story 2. I don't understand some people on reddit, and how they look beyond the scope of the post, and make assumptions on matters they don't know about. I am a mother of 3 kids in the LGBTQ+ community, and am proud as heck of them. But, It doesn't matter whether OP was against homosexuality based on his religion. That would have been HIS choice, and HIS beliefs. His cousin still had no right, and broke the law by using his credit card without permission.
Last story - One thing that drives me crazy, is when people (like OP) ask questions that they already know the answer to. Ignore the parents, and call the police, and have her charged for stealing your phone. It's time she faced consiquences for her actions. Would you let somebody steal your wallet? Because that's what you would be doing by letting her off. You ever buy off eBay, Walmart, or any other online merchant? Your credit card information is on your phone. If you bank online, she now has access to your bank account. She now has access to your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other online accounts that you have. She can now control them, even lock you out or delete them.
Story #1 - OP, you know exactly what you need to do, you're just afraid to do it. It sounds as if Grandma requires more medical attention than either you or James are capable of providing. It's time to seriously consider a specialized hospital or hospice. It also sounds like James needs help as well. Please get it, before things get worse.
Story 3 - OP should get partner out of the house, he only wants her to support him not the other way round. Once the baby arrives OP will know what money problems are, but at least the baby will give her unconditional love
Story 1: Funny how the mother wants to keep the grandma out of an elderly is home but does nothing to help. Mother can move her lover into the family home. The boyfriend is at his witts end. he needs to take care of himself and the OP. Look at professional care options for Grandma. Story 2: Call the cops, call the cops! Or lawyer up. It's theft. Teach her a lesson. NTA for pressing charges, she's an adult and needs to see consequences. A good update, courtesy of your bank. Story 3: Why is the OP's husband squirrelling away money? That money is probably going to child support in the near future. The OP is a cash cow to her husband. Story 4: Call the cops, call the cops! This sister needs consequences. The paretns are the problem but not for not buying tickets, they failed to brat-proof their eldest.
Story 1. OP needs to look into hospice and assistance in his area. They have help for people like him. He needs to stop involving the mom and just side step her totally! He needs help and will not get any there. Please have him call for help !
I took care of my mother who had cancer in her brain as well as other places. The brain cancer gave her dementia type symptoms. I had almost complete care of her. I was up all night by myself with her even though she had 3 other children. During the daytime, everybody else would come over to visit but I would still be the one taking care of her. I tried to sleep while my siblings were there and could take care of her but she would scream at me because I was sleeping while we had company. I didn't sleep more than a couple of hours a night for over 3 weeks until she went into a coma and I could finally sleep. OP needs to contact elder care if they're in America.
In most states, a theft of over $500 is considered a FELONY. I think the cops SHOULD be called on her so she can learn a much needed lesson that her parents apparently don't wnt to provide.
First story: a) is this the mother’s mother? If so, she is responsible for providing proper care. b) what is the other sibling doing? c) what is the father doing? Out of 4 adults, how did just one person become the sole caretaker? OP needs to find out what grandma’s health insurance situation is. They should look into a skilled nursing facility for grandma. Even if they can’t send her to one permanently, they should be able to send her to one for a short stay so that the caretaker doesn’t become burned out. There may also be other resources available to help this family. Like daycare. Perhaps OP can do some research to find help for her overburdened boyfriend.
We were in a similar scenario to James in the first story with my grandmother, albeit with my aunt instead of my mother. My grandmother, thankfully still able to live alone right until the end, lived two houses up from me and, even though she had professional carers come in daily, all they did was cook her meals and give her her medication (when they could even be bothered to do those). Everything else was left to my mother and I - my mother looked after the "big stuff" (phonecalls, bills, legal stuff, that kind of thing) while my job was everything else - shopping, taking care of the pets, making sure the channel was right, cleaning anything that needed it, etc etc. My aunt, despite living not even five minutes away (Seriously, it was and still is a five-ten minute walk) visited her maybe once a month (at best) and, despite claiming she would, NEVER helped with anything. Even when asked if she could take over for a day or even just a few hours because we had things to do, she wouldn't. Why? My grandmother insulted her. Once. Meanwhile, my mother and I had to put up with daily arguments, insults, even violence on some occasions. As much as I loved my grandmother, I also hated her for the shit she did - and no, it wasn't "just the dementia" as my aunt loved to say, she had been a nasty piece of work all her life but was very good at hiding it. All the dementia did was remove her filter. But when my grandmother passed away and there was suspected medical negligence involved, my aunt was allllll over it, because she smelled money.
Um, I have no words on this one. A young man or woman with no training is not qualified to care for a relation suffering from a very tough nerological illness, wow.
A lot of families won't consider nursing homes, or respite care. My large, loud, Italian family absolutely would never give one of our relatives over to someone else for care. I have done end of life care for 2 grandmothers, my father, and my mother. My siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles all came together so no one person was overburdened. Families who would dump all the labor into one person's lap....confuse me.
Some people do not have large families to help them. A friend of mine who is an only child had to deal with her elderly mother who has dementia. For awhile her teenage son who was in college stayed nights at his grandmother's house, but eventually it got too much for him. My friend HAD to hire caregivers to help while she was at work.
@@synthiamcbride7194 that's why I said "a lot of families". Not all families. I understand not everyone has a huge, pushy, loony toon family like I do. Sometimes I envy them...
I worked over 35 years, as a home healthcare personal assistant. He can get grandma put on hospice or any of the programs the department of social services. He can move out but needs to come by every so often to make sure grandma is being treated alright. As for the mother, what she is doing is a form of abuse to him and grandma. Mainly make mother stay away from him and grandma.
I'm sorry but I would call adult services and get the help from them and Medicare. My grandmother passed from it and it is VERY difficult to take care of someone going through that.
Someone with dementia needs actual care from a professional. My best friends grandma when I was a kid only spoke Puerto Rican and had dementia. My friend would speak to her in her language and all of a sudden she would chase me with knitting needles, knives, or whatever was nearby. My friend would laugh and say he told her I was going to kill her. I was terrified but as I grew, I felt worse for her. Life must have been hell.
1st Story. My Father had Dementia. After 12 yrs my Mother could no longer care for him, due to his Physical Needs and Behavioural Problems requiring PROFESSIONAL 24 HOUR NURSING CARE! When he was finally taken to the Hospital ( because of the Urinary Tract Infection) prior to being placed in a Nursing Home, my poor Mum had not slept for any meaningful amount of time for 2 weeks, since Dad had begun falling and having the Urinary Tract Infection with a huge impact on his comprehension, and for months, Mum could not even leave the house unless someone else came to stay for a few hours. Lucky the Nursing Home he was placed in was one only 5 mins from Mum's house. She is fortunate that there are actually 5 good Nursing Homes within10 minutes of home. He was there for 5 years before he passed away. Believe me, the Hospital and the Nursing Home Nurses were run ragged trying to keep him in check. He would not stay in bed at night so would get out and slide himself along the ground on his butt, because after his previous fall he had broken his hip, requiring surgery. When he could walk again after rehabilitation they placed him in the room right across from the Nurse's Station so they could see what he was up to. Hope OP can get the Grandmother placed in Care because this is URGENTLY NEEDED for both James' and the Grandmother's sake.
Story#2 - OP, you ask if AITA for pressing charges, knowing it will ruin her life? Why are you concerned about her life? She doesn't care about your life. If you don't press charges, it will ruin YOUR LIFE. Stealing and using someone's credit card number is a form of identity theft. When the thief uses your card, not only is it theft of money, but they are pretending to be you
S1, please contact your local authorities about the care of the grandmother and see if you can get them into a care home or assisted living ,also get your other half to a doctor as soon as possible as that may speed up the reply from the local government authorities as it is causing mental health problems for the primary carer .NTA
I took care of my husband for 7 years right up to a month before he died. It’s very hard. He got mean and when he couldn’t get up or walk I put him in a nursing home. He was there for a month and nine days. Think of yourself and place her in a nursing home. Then you could visit without feeling guilty. Good luck.
#1 my mother was a caregiver to her mother for years. Grant it she has 4 siblings, but subs hard their own lifes. My mom got no help. My mom finally hired someone to come in every day for 2 hours, then grandma told me it was time to move home. Which i did a m d i was there every day at 5 and cooked supper and tucked grandma into bed.
OP is 6 months preggers and making sure that he's taken care of while struggling. Drop him fast. Start handling things for you and your baby, not a stingy man child 😤😤😤
1. Mommy dearest needs reported for elder abuse. He is not proper care and a risk to both himself and his grandmother. There are in home health care that would make sure grandmother got bathed so neglecting her hygiene does not help either of their mental states. 2. Press charges. She'll keep stealing cards if not. 3. Ditch him. If he's lying about that to use her, he's lying and using her in other ways. It's never just one way, one time.
I helped care for my mom when she had Alzheimers, along with the help of my siblings and home health care nurses. Hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I feel bad for James and hope he finds peace. His mom is a POS.
On the last story. The sister is never going to change. The parents have failed both there children. I see where he says he is 17. My best advice to avoid all the drama with these 3 people is to move out as soon as he can after turning 18 and go no contact with all of them. Because you seem to have learned to take care of yourself, by yourself. The day will come when these people might need you and you can just tell them no. I'm sure there are better ways to solve this but this way you don't to fight with them everyday. Your sister is never going to change. She will spend the rest of her life blaming everybody else for her problems. Your parents hopefully one day will realize how wrong they have been to you.
OP have your boyfriend check in the area that he lives in there should be organizations that can give him care giver relief some are free but others might charge a small fee. Also have him talk to his grandmother Doctor about what he can do. The Doctor might have some suggestions since he or she should know their patient.
Knew someone that his dad died of cancer & his mom had dementia. He wouldn't be the care giver but his girlfriend. Ended up the trailer she lived caught on fire in the living room. The neighbors couldn't tell the police how many people lived in the trailer. Ended up nobody was home except for the dog both were found in her bedroom dead.
If the family of OP’s boyfriend is in the US then there are agencies that provide in home respite care for Grandma. Next, primary custody needs to be transferred from the boyfriend’s mom to boyfriend. By doing this BF can navigate things like adult day care, respite care and more.
Wow! Story about the Dementia Grandma is very upsetting! I agree with some here that the mother is taking the grandma's money! If this is in the US. There is SO much that can be done! 1st -- Find out about Grandma's financial status: Does she have social security funds coming for her? Did Grandpa have a will and leave her things? IF yes, mother maybe financially abusing her own mother! Plus it would also be considered abuse of an elderly person. 2nd: Find out if there is someone with medical authority over the grandmother. Does anyone have power of attorney? If it's that bitchy lowlife mother, than get the courts involved!!! Because she (grandma) should have all kinds of doctors' appointments, and if she has medicare/medicaid/health insurance -- there should be something about getting a health aid. (My Mom & Dad had a minimum of 2 doctors appointments QUARTERLY)!!! 3rd: Call the county for help!!! In the US there is An Aging on Area. GET HELP!!! It will be better for OP's boyfriend and his grandma. No one should have to wait days and weeks for a BATH!
My father and uncle had to put my grandma in a care home because of Alzheimer's. She had a tendency to wander off. They lived in the middle of a national forest and was too dangerous for her to wander around.
If he calls the police he might get kicked out of the house but then again he can sue his parents too so it doesn't really matter call the police put that witch in jail put a stain on her record marker for Life as a criminal
I took care of my grandma, she didn’t have dementia, she was on dialysis my mom got mad and took grandma to herself, within two months my mom went through all of grandma’s bank account, grandma changed banks and put my cousin in charge of her bank account. Mom was mad and sent grandma came back to my house
There is very little help for cases like this. In 99.9% of cases the state may pay for some of the care but we are talking about in home or nursing home car that averages 4k per month. The state may cover 25% and you will still have to pay the rest .
first story. I would call Adult Protective Services on the parents. if you are incapable of taking care of an adult with dementia the best thing for that person is to get them into Professional Care. you will still be able to see them. and they may hold your parents liable and responsible especially if she is in their home. Adult Protective Service will not hold it against you.
What kind of social security or retirement check is James’ grandmother getting? Check with adult protective services and aid to the indigent elderly. James is NOT the only answer. In the short term, get James a nanny Com so he can hear his grandmother over the sound of the AC. Your area council on aging should be able to help. And make sure James gets the mental health help he needs too.
Last story is another case of what I am now calling GCS Golden Child Syndrome. What is happening is the results of what this can often produce in behavior, attitude and lack of anything like empathy. Parents don't seem to want to admit to their part and try and excuse everything the Golden Child says or does. OP should call the cops because this needs to stop and needed to stop years ago.
The first story I feel deeply I care for a 5 and 6 year old and have been for the past 5 years without pay 24/7 so I can't work which is making me depressed
Selfish self no matter what the reason she needs to be brought forth and explain her childish behavior in stealing $1,000 is a felony up to 7 years in prison along with a $50,000 fine in the United States
Story 1 I'd tell my mother who it's kinda obvious had an affair with the family "friend" she's no longer welcome around us then I'd do as much research as possible to find my grandmother the help she deserves When my sister did what the cousin did to OP in story 2 I went to the police to press charges but they said I had insufficient evidence
Yes, there is a lot of help you can get for an elderly family member! I went thru this same thing several years ago ( my mom had moderate/advanced dementia) & you just have to ask for help or ask around to find the resources that help. There is lots of help for the elderly person & also the caregiver of the elderly person! Good luck !
I bet the Mom is taking the money that is helping the grandma. That’s why she is “refusing” help!
@@anniebok9735 that crossed my mind - the mom is funding her lifestyle by what she is getting for the grandma's care...
Agreed. I was taking care of fil who had moderate dementia and his wife who needed medical care all day. I got to the point he was at. Doctors and nursing homes believed they needed to be in a home. However family decided to take over so I let them. O was to the point t of checking myself in for help of suicidal thoughts. My mind is still broke 3 months after. Wish him well. An idea would be to take grandma to mom's place and say you took her out now it's your turn to take care of her, or you could lose a son in the process too.
Dementia.
A. Get a baby monitor to hear the mother at night.
B. Look up the Area Agency on Aging (in the US). They will have the knowledge of what resources available.
C. Also, many cities have offices that work with the elderly.
D. You could also go after Mom for abandonment.
1st story: if he can swing it, get a nurse to come by once or twice a week just to give him a break. You can even post at some colleges for a nursing student to get some experience. If nothing else, reach out to a local church group for help.
Also, what do you wanna bet mom is taking grandma's SSI money?
Story 1: If in the States OP can call 211 to get respite care/adult daycare for the grand mother. I know it's tough. I had a boyfriend who I helped take care his Mom with dementia. One time she called the cops on him and I saying that she was kidnapped by us. Nothing like having the police surrounded the house at 4 am. Everything turned out though. We explained about her dementia and the police understood.
My mother had to go to the homes of clients with dementia. She had the police called on her loads of times. One man called the police to say he was being sexually assaulted by PSWs and nurses when they went to change his diaper. However, one man with dementia proceeded to chase my mother and some other healthcare workers with a hatchet.
And if patients are violent, they are not admitted to a nursing home/care facility. So, the burden is on the family to keep them at their home while nurses and other healthcare workers go to their home. There was a man that was extremely abusive to his wife and children and in his dementia, the abuse got worse and included violent outbursts against female PSWs and nurses. Finding male aids and nurses was difficult since nursing and home care aids are dominated by women.
My neighbor wasn't safe as a driver so his son took away his car. Guess who kept getting into trouble for "stealing" his dad's car despite the police requesting he removed the car because they were sick of finding him because he couldn't remember where he was or where he was going. Caretakers just can't win.
Yeah, make sure that you have that dementia issue ON RECORD, with doctors, and maybe even make a statement to the police (on a good day), that "Mama is not all there these days, and sometimes doesn't recognize family members or caregivers, and has been hallucinating, as well, thanks to her pain meds. Joy. Here is a list of people who DO belong here. If they're NOT on the list, then you can do something. We'll keep you updated."
But at the very least, make sure you take her to the doctor, for the medical records.
@@mbyerly9680 Man, it was SO HEARTBREAKING, and very inconvenient, when we had to take away Mom's car keys, and hide them.
So very often while listening to these stories, I become so grateful for being swedish, and this was no exception.
Here, it's the governments responsibility to care for those in need. The grandmother would live in a safe home for others like her and the family wouldn't have to pay for it.
Yeah welcome to America we're everything is a commodity even health care and mental health. I mean it costs $600 U.S dollars just to get properly diagnosed with a mental health disorder.
When you commit an actual crime, it may not be up to the victim if charges are pressed or not. With sufficient evidence (such as the CC records, in this case), the DA will move forward, with or without co-operation.
I had a similar situation to story 3, although it was much more severe. I had been with my husband for almost 20 years. About 8 years before I asked for a divorce, he started handling our household finances, form that point on, he skimmed money as well as items of jewelry and also a silver bar from my deceased father, all of which came to me BEFORE I met him. I lost EVERYTHING to his scamming me over 8 years…
Credit Card Fraud. You don't need to press chages: the bank will handle it. It's out of your hands. Also, she's a adult, young, but still responsible for her actions.
Agreed! She is definitely old enough to know right from wrong
@@Aria3210 She is, and she doesn't, because her family let her get away with stuff, because "she's young," and shouldn't face consequences. If they had made her face consequences when she goofed up as a child, she'd KNOW not to do this.
"Oh! Don't press charges!" Well, we know who taught her to steal and commit fraud, don't we? Also, we know who taught her to persecute people for GOING TO CHURCH. Not getting all in your face about religion, but just GOING TO CHURCH. She wanted to "teach OP a lesson."
Seems like she's the one who needs the lesson.
@@AuntLoopy123 very true!
Story 3: NTA - At the very least, this deserves a good, hard think. How can you trust him to do what's best for your family after this? You caught him in a pretty serious lie. He deliberately let you struggle. There's flags one and two right there. If there's a third, this might be the perfect time to exit stage left.
I am currently going thru this. I have 2 teens and am caring for my 97 year old grandmother alone. I managed to find a Seniors Day Out program, that takes even Dementia patients. It has been a MASSIVE help. She is verbally abusive to me (not he kids, she loves them), and the neighbors have called the police ON HER several timesfor.her screaming at me. It's hard. Very hard. But there are available programs if you look.
It is a very hard job to care for someone with dementia, I did it for two years before I finally had to find a place for my person w/dementia. There were still some responsibilities, but it was doable. I feel for anybody who has to be a caregiver. ✌🏼❤️
I so feel for James. My grandma was diagnosed with dementia last year and it’s really hard for me because she raised me and now won’t even talk to me about so I have to talk to my mom and aunt to see how she’s doing. The only thing that gives me comfort is I was able to spend the week of my birthday with her before she was diagnosed. It is really life changing for the family as she was the one to do all of the babysitting and to now having to monitor her like a baby puts a lot on the family. Best wishes to OP boyfriend.
I took care of my mom who had Alzheimer Disease. I was abandoned by my sisters and others in the family. I know the stress and mental strain that caregiver's go through. It ages you. There are no words to explain how helpless a caregiver' feels.
I have caretaker burnout. My mother is 75 and I have to do everything for her . I am also handicapped myself. I can relate to this story. Sorry dude. Sending love.
If you live in the US please consider reaching out to your local community. There are usually several places that can offer help. Some nursing homes/community centers even offer a "daycare" for seniors. Others can help with food/transportation. I've both volunteered for and used these programs. I would also suggest joining support groups. There are several websites and pages for other caregivers to communicate and share there thoughts/solutions/suggestions ect. It can also be a good place to vent to others who understand your situation. Please reach out caregiving is stressful and no one should do it alone, you need help and there are people who are willing. I'm wishing you and your mother help, hope, happiness {{{hug}}}
Story 3 wow what a selfish little boy he is. She and her baby deserve so much better.
Great video mr.reddito! Keep it up!
Thanks for the storied Mr Reddito. Have a good night
This first story really hurts me. I also qas the primary day to day caregiver of a grandparent (cancer spread to brain, causing dementia symptoms) for about a year. If a facility home is needed, unfortunately it will likely cost several thousand USD a month. I also helped a friends mother for about 6 months, diabetic alzheimers, because they couldnt afford care.
Medical care might pay for a daily nurse aid at least, a trained caregiver for a few hours. And speaking with a company like that can definitely offer options, and advice for their mental health/locations of caregiver support groups. OP cam help by researching caregiver support, books and articles. And just being there to tell bf that guilt and frustration is a very normal response to this ptsd causing situation.
Story one. My family has gone through dealing with my Mothers dementia and all of my siblings and I were so stressed that we were burning out in different ways. After it became dangerous for her to be in her apartment even with PSW’s coming in three times a day, she was put in a transitional home (a retirement home with a ward for those waiting for their permanent placement). This is in Canada by the way. Finally she got her placement in a wonderful nursing home. This is what OP’s family needs to do. Start looking into nursing homes. The wait is long so the sooner the better. I recommend the government runned ones as it is not all about the bottom line and the care is better in my opinion.
Love that your sign is in the first story behind the desk too! Have a great day Mr. R!
I was my mom's caretaker after stepdad passed on. It started with just a few days a week. After a few years, I moved in to give full care at 70 years old. The usual care was no problem; the shopping, paying bills, meds, meals, & doctor appts. I had to endure round the clock cigarette smoking unfortunately. That's what began my spiral into depression and already set tendencies for suicide with the state of the country. I had my own ailments that added to my frustration of being totally responsible for her. I suffered from sleep apnea, bouts of Bell's Palsy, & gout. In her last years, I began doing intermittent fasting and keto to lose weight. It kept me together until she finally passed on at 81. At 64, I moved to a retirement apt. building and slowly got my sanity back. TB Cont. ;-)
Congrats, Mom and Dad. You created a monster, and now you're going to pay and pay and pay for it. Poor OP.
I would break up with him. If he lying about that? What else is he lying about? I couldn’t trust him anymore.
Story 1: Call adult services. As a nurse, you need outside help. Call grandmother's doctor. There are day treatment centers basically daycare. Good luck
My dad had dementia. Nothing like having the cops bring him home in the middle of the night.
Pressing charges on the cousins case is pretty much moot at this point because the credit card company has already pressed charges and is suing her for the damages. So unless the OP also wants to press charges. The difference is that the OP could charge for additional counts it will probably all go on the same court case and will just likely add to the charges. In the end the cousin will likely get a plea deal where they will get a misdemeanor and parole in return for repaying the charges. If the OP doesn’t want to have the drama LLamas come after her then she can leave things as they are. Speaking to the parents is also a good idea because if the parents are going to try to get the cousin off scott free then they are definitely a problem but if they will insist the cousin pay the money back then not also pressing charges would be OK.
Unless her parents pay for her, so she still gets off. But then, at least, you'll know to AVOID THAT WHOLE BRANCH OF THE FAMILY.
story 1: Contact Medicaid and put grandma in a memory unit. This is neglect! It's not up the grandchildren to take care of her. It's the children.
As someone who had to take care of a dementia patient WITHOUT TRAINING, and with my own disabilities keeping me down, I have to say: Do NOT feel guilty about putting your mother in a facility. If you choose a GOOD facility, and visit frequently (making a splash about visiting frequently, so the staff KNOW you visit frequently and CHECK on your granny, and will NOTICE if they don't care for her), then she'll get much better care than you can give her. Dementia care is specialized, and it takes TRAINING. Moreover, it is MUCH TOO MUCH for ONE person, or even TWO to give.
At the very least, consider putting her in a facility on the weekends, for respite care. He is feeling suicidal!!! You're in danger of losing him, and Granny, too, because if her caregiver commits suicide, she'll have no one.
I don't know how much help (or not) the brother is giving, but clearly, your boyfriend needs RESPITE, so he can get at least 12 hours of sleep at a stretch, and catch up, and some time for his own needs. And don't even BOTHER asking the "mother" for ANYTHING. Seriously. "Oh, you're thinking of killing yourself? Oh, well. I have a NEW LOVER! So don't bother me." Well, what I say is, "Give her what she wants, and NEVER BOTHER HER AGAIN. NO CONTACT."
Put Grandma in a GOOD facility, and take time every day (if you can, but at least 3 days a week) to visit her, and check on her and take care of her. Then, when you get home, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, so you'll have the strength to continue. Also, take a bit of time to study dementia and dementia care. There are tricks and routines to make it easier, and the professionals know these things. You don't.
Do NOT let ANYONE make you feel guilty or "less than," for putting your mother in the care of PROFESSIONALS, rather than struggling with caring for her, yourself. You are giving her INSUFFICIENT care, because you are NOT trained, and even if you were, you are ONLY ONE PERSON, and NOT CAPABLE of serving another person 24/7/365 without respite! It's NOT POSSIBLE! So, putting her in a GOOD facility is literally the best thing FOR HER, and also benefits you. Do NOT feel guilty.
You're going to feel guilty, anyway. So, let that residual guilt spur you to visiting as often as you possibly can, while still TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.
And cut off that selfish, toxic, LAZY so-called "mother," who doesn't care if you live or die. UGH!
OP please call the police, this is a federal offense as it sounds like she crossed the state line. You parents are abusive to you ,OP, do not let them get away with this horrible breach of trust
Credit card story)
I would definitely press charges. I further think, this is not the cousin's first time, and obviously, due to "family" she has seen very little consequences until now.
Story 2. I don't understand some people on reddit, and how they look beyond the scope of the post, and make assumptions on matters they don't know about. I am a mother of 3 kids in the LGBTQ+ community, and am proud as heck of them. But, It doesn't matter whether OP was against homosexuality based on his religion. That would have been HIS choice, and HIS beliefs. His cousin still had no right, and broke the law by using his credit card without permission.
Last story - One thing that drives me crazy, is when people (like OP) ask questions that they already know the answer to. Ignore the parents, and call the police, and have her charged for stealing your phone. It's time she faced consiquences for her actions. Would you let somebody steal your wallet? Because that's what you would be doing by letting her off. You ever buy off eBay, Walmart, or any other online merchant? Your credit card information is on your phone. If you bank online, she now has access to your bank account. She now has access to your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other online accounts that you have. She can now control them, even lock you out or delete them.
Story #1 - OP, you know exactly what you need to do, you're just afraid to do it. It sounds as if Grandma requires more medical attention than either you or James are capable of providing. It's time to seriously consider a specialized hospital or hospice. It also sounds like James needs help as well. Please get it, before things get worse.
James needs to go after his mother for monthly financial support. Go through the courts and use this money to get a home aid assistant for Grandma.
Story 3 - OP should get partner out of the house, he only wants her to support him not the other way round. Once the baby arrives OP will know what money problems are, but at least the baby will give her unconditional love
I would definitely press charges on the cousin! If she was my own child, I would still press charges! She has to learn right from wrong some how!
Awesome content to sit and enjoy
Stolen Phone. Yes, call the police. She doesn't care for you and your parents don't have any backbones. All of them need wake-up calls.
I'm really enjoying the new animations, and the newer backdrop.
I really enjoy your channel. I think it's wonderful that you and Lost Genre have been working together to beat "The Man" aka TH-cam. 😁
Press charges now, because if you let go it will only get worse!!
She don’t have to press charges. The bank will do that.
Story 1: Funny how the mother wants to keep the grandma out of an elderly is home but does nothing to help. Mother can move her lover into the family home. The boyfriend is at his witts end. he needs to take care of himself and the OP. Look at professional care options for Grandma.
Story 2: Call the cops, call the cops! Or lawyer up. It's theft. Teach her a lesson. NTA for pressing charges, she's an adult and needs to see consequences. A good update, courtesy of your bank.
Story 3: Why is the OP's husband squirrelling away money? That money is probably going to child support in the near future. The OP is a cash cow to her husband.
Story 4: Call the cops, call the cops! This sister needs consequences. The paretns are the problem but not for not buying tickets, they failed to brat-proof their eldest.
Story 1. OP needs to look into hospice and assistance in his area. They have help for people like him. He needs to stop involving the mom and just side step her totally! He needs help and will not get any there. Please have him call for help !
I took care of my mother who had cancer in her brain as well as other places. The brain cancer gave her dementia type symptoms. I had almost complete care of her. I was up all night by myself with her even though she had 3 other children. During the daytime, everybody else would come over to visit but I would still be the one taking care of her. I tried to sleep while my siblings were there and could take care of her but she would scream at me because I was sleeping while we had company. I didn't sleep more than a couple of hours a night for over 3 weeks until she went into a coma and I could finally sleep. OP needs to contact elder care if they're in America.
In most states, a theft of over $500 is considered a FELONY. I think the cops SHOULD be called on her so she can learn a much needed lesson that her parents apparently don't wnt to provide.
First story: a) is this the mother’s mother? If so, she is responsible for providing proper care. b) what is the other sibling doing? c) what is the father doing? Out of 4 adults, how did just one person become the sole caretaker?
OP needs to find out what grandma’s health insurance situation is. They should look into a skilled nursing facility for grandma. Even if they can’t send her to one permanently, they should be able to send her to one for a short stay so that the caretaker doesn’t become burned out.
There may also be other resources available to help this family. Like daycare. Perhaps OP can do some research to find help for her overburdened boyfriend.
We were in a similar scenario to James in the first story with my grandmother, albeit with my aunt instead of my mother. My grandmother, thankfully still able to live alone right until the end, lived two houses up from me and, even though she had professional carers come in daily, all they did was cook her meals and give her her medication (when they could even be bothered to do those). Everything else was left to my mother and I - my mother looked after the "big stuff" (phonecalls, bills, legal stuff, that kind of thing) while my job was everything else - shopping, taking care of the pets, making sure the channel was right, cleaning anything that needed it, etc etc.
My aunt, despite living not even five minutes away (Seriously, it was and still is a five-ten minute walk) visited her maybe once a month (at best) and, despite claiming she would, NEVER helped with anything. Even when asked if she could take over for a day or even just a few hours because we had things to do, she wouldn't.
Why?
My grandmother insulted her.
Once.
Meanwhile, my mother and I had to put up with daily arguments, insults, even violence on some occasions. As much as I loved my grandmother, I also hated her for the shit she did - and no, it wasn't "just the dementia" as my aunt loved to say, she had been a nasty piece of work all her life but was very good at hiding it. All the dementia did was remove her filter.
But when my grandmother passed away and there was suspected medical negligence involved, my aunt was allllll over it, because she smelled money.
Um, I have no words on this one. A young man or woman with no training is not qualified to care for a relation suffering from a very tough nerological illness, wow.
A lot of families won't consider nursing homes, or respite care. My large, loud, Italian family absolutely would never give one of our relatives over to someone else for care. I have done end of life care for 2 grandmothers, my father, and my mother. My siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles all came together so no one person was overburdened. Families who would dump all the labor into one person's lap....confuse me.
Some people do not have large families to help them. A friend of mine who is an only child had to deal with her elderly mother who has dementia. For awhile her teenage son who was in college stayed nights at his grandmother's house, but eventually it got too much for him. My friend HAD to hire caregivers to help while she was at work.
@@synthiamcbride7194 that's why I said "a lot of families". Not all families. I understand not everyone has a huge, pushy, loony toon family like I do. Sometimes I envy them...
I worked over 35 years, as a home healthcare personal assistant. He can get grandma put on hospice or any of the programs the department of social services. He can move out but needs to come by every so often to make sure grandma is being treated alright. As for the mother, what she is doing is a form of abuse to him and grandma. Mainly make mother stay away from him and grandma.
I'm sorry but I would call adult services and get the help from them and Medicare. My grandmother passed from it and it is VERY difficult to take care of someone going through that.
Someone with dementia needs actual care from a professional. My best friends grandma when I was a kid only spoke Puerto Rican and had dementia. My friend would speak to her in her language and all of a sudden she would chase me with knitting needles, knives, or whatever was nearby. My friend would laugh and say he told her I was going to kill her. I was terrified but as I grew, I felt worse for her. Life must have been hell.
1st Story. My Father had Dementia. After 12 yrs my Mother could no longer care for him, due to his Physical Needs and Behavioural Problems requiring PROFESSIONAL 24 HOUR NURSING CARE! When he was finally taken to the Hospital ( because of the Urinary Tract Infection) prior to being placed in a Nursing Home, my poor Mum had not slept for any meaningful amount of time for 2 weeks, since Dad had begun falling and having the Urinary Tract Infection with a huge impact on his comprehension, and for months, Mum could not even leave the house unless someone else came to stay for a few hours. Lucky the Nursing Home he was placed in was one only 5 mins from Mum's house. She is fortunate that there are actually 5 good Nursing Homes within10 minutes of home. He was there for 5 years before he passed away. Believe me, the Hospital and the Nursing Home Nurses were run ragged trying to keep him in check. He would not stay in bed at night so would get out and slide himself along the ground on his butt, because after his previous fall he had broken his hip, requiring surgery. When he could walk again after rehabilitation they placed him in the room right across from the Nurse's Station so they could see what he was up to. Hope OP can get the Grandmother placed in Care because this is URGENTLY NEEDED for both James' and the Grandmother's sake.
Story#2 - OP, you ask if AITA for pressing charges, knowing it will ruin her life? Why are you concerned about her life? She doesn't care about your life. If you don't press charges, it will ruin YOUR LIFE. Stealing and using someone's credit card number is a form of identity theft. When the thief uses your card, not only is it theft of money, but they are pretending to be you
Drive Grandma to mothers lovers house and drop her off, then move out
It's sad. He needs to get her help or a home. We had too at the end. I had a kid and my elderly mother to take care of at the time.
S1, please contact your local authorities about the care of the grandmother and see if you can get them into a care home or assisted living ,also get your other half to a doctor as soon as possible as that may speed up the reply from the local government authorities as it is causing mental health problems for the primary carer .NTA
I took care of my husband for 7 years right up to a month before he died. It’s very hard. He got mean and when he couldn’t get up or walk I put him in a nursing home. He was there for a month and nine days. Think of yourself and place her in a nursing home. Then you could visit without feeling guilty. Good luck.
It is fraud if you use another's credit card. Call the bank and they'll do the leg work to resolve this theft.
Good afternoon Mr Reddito
Good afternoon everyone
If I was I would make the cousin payback and press chargers and block the cousin and my mom and live life with no. Drama 🎭
It's not a marriage with separate finances.
#1 my mother was a caregiver to her mother for years. Grant it she has 4 siblings, but subs hard their own lifes.
My mom got no help. My mom finally hired someone to come in every day for 2 hours, then grandma told me it was time to move home. Which i did a m d i was there every day at 5 and cooked supper and tucked grandma into bed.
OP is 6 months preggers and making sure that he's taken care of while struggling. Drop him fast. Start handling things for you and your baby, not a stingy man child 😤😤😤
1. Mommy dearest needs reported for elder abuse. He is not proper care and a risk to both himself and his grandmother. There are in home health care that would make sure grandmother got bathed so neglecting her hygiene does not help either of their mental states.
2. Press charges. She'll keep stealing cards if not.
3. Ditch him. If he's lying about that to use her, he's lying and using her in other ways. It's never just one way, one time.
I helped care for my mom when she had Alzheimers, along with the help of my siblings and home health care nurses. Hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I feel bad for James and hope he finds peace. His mom is a POS.
Story 1 solution, it's a bit childish solution but solution nonetheless. Contact mother for an urgent visit, than move out far away.
On the last story. The sister is never going to change. The parents have failed both there children. I see where he says he is 17. My best advice to avoid all the drama with these 3 people is to move out as soon as he can after turning 18 and go no contact with all of them. Because you seem to have learned to take care of yourself, by yourself. The day will come when these people might need you and you can just tell them no. I'm sure there are better ways to solve this but this way you don't to fight with them everyday. Your sister is never going to change. She will spend the rest of her life blaming everybody else for her problems. Your parents hopefully one day will realize how wrong they have been to you.
OP have your boyfriend check in the area that he lives in there should be organizations that can give him care giver relief some are free but others might charge a small fee. Also have him talk to his grandmother Doctor about what he can do. The Doctor might have some suggestions since he or she should know their patient.
He should call the cops on his sister. It's like you said she'll do it again or worse.
I myself lived thru a similar situation so go get help. There are so much help out there. Just look around.
I’d report the mother for neglect or her mother to adult protective services and try to get a social worker for grandma
Knew someone that his dad died of cancer & his mom had dementia. He wouldn't be the care giver but his girlfriend. Ended up the trailer she lived caught on fire in the living room. The neighbors couldn't tell the police how many people lived in the trailer. Ended up nobody was home except for the dog both were found in her bedroom dead.
#1 Send Grandma to a nursing home.
If the family of OP’s boyfriend is in the US then there are agencies that provide in home respite care for Grandma. Next, primary custody needs to be transferred from the boyfriend’s mom to boyfriend. By doing this BF can navigate things like adult day care, respite care and more.
Wow! Story about the Dementia Grandma is very upsetting! I agree with some here that the mother is taking the grandma's money! If this is in the US. There is SO much that can be done!
1st -- Find out about Grandma's financial status: Does she have social security funds coming for her? Did Grandpa have a will and leave her things? IF yes, mother maybe financially abusing her own mother! Plus it would also be considered abuse of an elderly person.
2nd: Find out if there is someone with medical authority over the grandmother. Does anyone have power of attorney? If it's that bitchy lowlife mother, than get the courts involved!!! Because she (grandma) should have all kinds of doctors' appointments, and if she has medicare/medicaid/health insurance -- there should be something about getting a health aid. (My Mom & Dad had a minimum of 2 doctors appointments QUARTERLY)!!!
3rd: Call the county for help!!! In the US there is An Aging on Area. GET HELP!!! It will be better for OP's boyfriend and his grandma. No one should have to wait days and weeks for a BATH!
My father and uncle had to put my grandma in a care home because of Alzheimer's. She had a tendency to wander off. They lived in the middle of a national forest and was too dangerous for her to wander around.
Why don’t the Sons get an CNA and Nurse to help taking care of the Grandmother?
If he calls the police he might get kicked out of the house but then again he can sue his parents too so it doesn't really matter call the police put that witch in jail put a stain on her record marker for Life as a criminal
Nta. He is an ahole. He knew he had money. Make him payback everything you paid for.
I took care of my grandma, she didn’t have dementia, she was on dialysis my mom got mad and took grandma to herself, within two months my mom went through all of grandma’s bank account, grandma changed banks and put my cousin in charge of her bank account. Mom was mad and sent grandma came back to my house
There is very little help for cases like this. In 99.9% of cases the state may pay for some of the care but we are talking about in home or nursing home car that averages 4k per month. The state may cover 25% and you will still have to pay the rest .
Story #1: As soon as Grandma dies, She'll be back claiming granny's money.
first story. I would call Adult Protective Services on the parents. if you are incapable of taking care of an adult with dementia the best thing for that person is to get them into Professional Care. you will still be able to see them. and they may hold your parents liable and responsible especially if she is in their home. Adult Protective Service will not hold it against you.
I think she should press charges. She works at a grocery store if she is a cashier she could get information of other clients credit cards
I had to do the same thing to my cousin when she stole my ID and my mother is identical twin to her mother. Shame and sad when family does this to you
I would have called adult protective services on mom neglecting and abandoning Alzheimer’s patient in her care.
What kind of social security or retirement check is James’ grandmother getting? Check with adult protective services and aid to the indigent elderly. James is NOT the only answer. In the short term, get James a nanny Com so he can hear his grandmother over the sound of the AC. Your area council on aging should be able to help. And make sure James gets the mental health help he needs too.
you did right thing
Last story is another case of what I am now calling GCS Golden Child Syndrome. What is happening is the results of what this can often produce in behavior, attitude and lack of anything like empathy. Parents don't seem to want to admit to their part and try and excuse everything the Golden Child says or does. OP should call the cops because this needs to stop and needed to stop years ago.
Leave him,my husband never changed.
The first story I feel deeply I care for a 5 and 6 year old and have been for the past 5 years without pay 24/7 so I can't work which is making me depressed
Forgot to add this but the government should also be able to give him money as a care giver
I would call the police on the sister.
Selfish self no matter what the reason she needs to be brought forth and explain her childish behavior in stealing $1,000 is a felony up to 7 years in prison along with a $50,000 fine in the United States
I bet the mom in story 1 is receiving money to care for the grandma. The state usually pays for home care in the US.
Story 1: Therapist? You need to unwind and do not care anymore for your own piece of mind.
Story 1 I'd tell my mother who it's kinda obvious had an affair with the family "friend" she's no longer welcome around us then I'd do as much research as possible to find my grandmother the help she deserves
When my sister did what the cousin did to OP in story 2 I went to the police to press charges but they said I had insufficient evidence
Where the Hell is Hospice, home nursing and all the other things available? Be nice if Mom is next and gets kicked to the curb.