Really great session with reckful, could see he was a changed man in just 2 hours talking with you. I myself dont suffer from any mental health issues but I was moved as well by your rhetoric. Keep up the good work!
Everyone is thanking reckful here, and he does deserve appreciation for being brave and doing this, but mad props to this guy who has tried to heal Byron, out of his own kindness in his heart, hes not asked for money, hes just trying to help someone, hes the real MVP here.
@@EliasOwnage95 He's a Harvard educated psychologist. Even if he became a top streamer he still wouldn't make as much as he could if he put as much time into his trade in other ways.
Rest in peace Byron. :( Dr K if you're reading this. You can't save everyone. You certainly were one of the few people who were able to be there for him when he needed you the most, so you can maybe feel some solace in that. Lots of love and support.
dahalofreeek That’s true, you can’t cure depression but you can halt it’s effects on your life. There is still a button in you brain that can be triggered by a certain event occurring.
@@dahalofreeek The probable therapeutists' worst feeling is on that if he caused or contributed towards his suicide when he reinforced him to think all this, because he didn't know him good enough and this was only one theraphy session, so there wasn't any room for interventions with him or other medical professionalist - eventually Reckful as a smart guy, thought himself to death. That's one of the worst feelings when you're touched deeply into someone as a professional, but the blame shouldn't be on the therapeutist at all. Respects for them both!
dahalofreeek Dr. K cares more than most. He was making a big deal about xQc's rather minimal problems and even heard Katerino out instead of making fun of and memeing her like TwoMad
@@pokingHali I think what he means is that Dr. K does a good job of not letting the emotional weight of these deaths interfere with what he does. Not that he doesn't care about the people he talks too.
RIP Reckful. I felt like I went through the dark times with him throughout my life at some points. Really breaks my heart to see his story end this way. Thank you for the many years of memories, laughs and epic gameplay, Byron. You will be dearly missed. I truly hope that you are in a better place.
Reckful has quite a few ridiculously amazing streams tbh... ironically he is by far one of the best streamers when he’s not obsessively playing some boring ass game
Kahoobb yes those streams are ok but they are no way near as food as when he does shit like this - remember when he asked chat to turn their streams and spent hours looking at different peoples places? Actually genius.
yes this chat was very entertaining and i just had to stop there to laugh as well when they spammed "breathing exercise" or "this is too hard man just give me some pills"
this guy is Jordan peterson 2.0, dont forget to buy this guys book when it comes and sub to his patreon. You guys are so gullible, LOL.Except this time its with Hinduism instead of Christianity.
@@imqsqs do you understand the pain you have to experience to override your will to live? Regardless of your perception about what his choice means about him as a person, choice and free will is an illusion. We are born as blank slates and our journey is set in motion by all external factors, as in if you went through the same things he did you would have committed suicide as well. What I mean is that his choice to committ suicide does not define or stain his entire life, he was a good person and didnt mean to hurt anyone.
@@imqsqs He might've been depressed for most of his life, but he overshadows it with the successes he's made, the smiles he's brought upon his viewers/to the people around him (other streamers, etc.), and how open he was about his life just like a best friend or a family member. Saying he's a "bad example" to kids is an understatement. Many people would love to disagree with your opinion. His depression was hidden behind a mask, but he did what he could and he made the people around him love his overall personality with his positivity and kindness. Not to say depression is a good thing, but the thing is, you don't know what a person is going through unless you're in their shoes.
my favorite parts: Thought Loops - 10:25 Dreams - 13:40 Depression hijacking - 18:15 Mind - 19:55 Anxiety - 20:13 - 20:57 Unhappy vs Depression: 24:40 Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs; 25:17 Periods of happiness?: 35:10 Engrossed in the challenge 37:12 Mushroom - 38:20 Identity - 39:20 Purpose/Crying - 40:11 Reckful’s Depression - 40:45 Western Undestanding of Mental Health 47:35 5 year old you - 55:00 That kid is not you - 55:50 what did little kid want - 57:25 Making a game -1:02:30 Help that kid - 1:04:30 Debufft: 1:21:30 Purpose: 1:23:05 Depressed; 1:25:00 Our mind: 1:26; 30 Out of mind experience: 1:45:40 Marijuana - 1:47:30 Discussion about Marijuana - 1:48:50 Flow Zone - 1:51:50
50mins onwards I was sobbing. That’s when it felt it got really deep and real. I don’t watch reckful and had no idea about his depression and life events. Now I have a huge amount of love for him.
This is why people like Reckful, positive or negative you can count on him to be genuine, and he's willing to share these intimate vulnerable experiences
When Byron started talking about when his brother took him to the arcade because his brother took his life just to get him away from all of the horrific scenes made me sob so much. Love you Reckful
Shouting into the void here as I rewatch these: something I’ve personally had to overcome is the feeling of responsibility to do something I hate because others are relying on me and the depression that that causes. I wish I could say to every depressed person: you don’t have to do anything except what you want to do. A therapist asked me once when I kept saying “I have to X” or “I need to Y” she said “who told you that?” And it changed my life because no one had told me that but me. All that responsibility to save the people in my world and make everything alright no one had put on me but me. Granted I’m not a famous person that others look to so idk if that would’ve really helped Reckful but I think it could help others.
Man, I'm listening to this at work and starting to tear up when he was talking about his brothers. This was an intense experience for him. I am super proud of him for working through this on stream and removing the stigma around seeking help from professionals. And kudos to the doc for offering this service to gamers.
I was getting chills throughout this whole thing because for the first time in my life I connected a few things that I never thought were actually 2 ways of seeing the same point. Everything the doc said made sense to me intuitively. Also helped me understand and make sense of my thoughts during my last psilocybin trip. Thank you bros
This Dr. is inanely good at his job. What an awesome human being helping people like this. He's so insanely insightful and does so in a way that's understandable. I'm definitely going to be tuning into his stream from now on!
@@animato6441 actually... looks like he learned from Yoga more than he did from harvard. So if anything, his monk-like past should be credited. I am not saying that Harvard didnt had big and positive influence to him, i am just stating what i seen --- that he was too much influeced by yogic teaching
I knew Reck. He was brilliant, INTENSELY loving and caring. He shared millions. He was open about everything. He just couldnt get it right in his head. Wasnt a hatred of any of us, sadly he disliked himself in the end. You actually cant give me a more amazing and loving and intelligent person that decided to jump at the end.
Thanks Reckful and Dr. Kanojia, depression literally almost ate me, and then I accidentally hit your stream. That helped me a lot. Feel you bro, all will be good. Those who lost loved ones in childhood are strong people.
I'm so thankful this exists. It's honestly really relieving to see someone be so open about their mental health. I've cried in front of my doctors numerous times, but seeing it expressed publicly is a breath of fresh air. It helps to normalize these feelings, and it sets a standard that says it's OK to cry, it's OK to be vulnerable. Thank you both for doing this, and especially you Reckful, it takes a lot of courage to be open among strangers.
I looked at the offline vod, and came here to watch it again. Dr. Kanojia is a very smart person for finding this niche place in the online gaming world (there was an attempt with that website that turned out to be a little scamish, forgot the name). This whole conversation actually helped me realize my problems, i realized i am not depressed , i am just lonely and without purpose/direction or meaning. I am happy you took a step further in tackling this and at the same time being so brave to be so vulnerable and not at least help SO MANY. Thank you both!
I'm still watching but wanted to take a moment to thank you Reckful, you were the first inspiration (even though not the first streamer) that actually made me want to get into live streaming & creating content a few years ago. We had the same views on a lot of topics, we both wrongly called boomers because of being barely 30 years old ( :D ) and I guess, even though I don't have had severe depression or being diagnosed. We both have/had it at some extent, quest for life meaning, happiness or even our place as individuals in this world is something that the majority of people question themselves at one point or the other. But, at least for me, it's always been about am I fit for what I do, is that what I should be doing or is there anything I should be doing to make sense of it all, also this fear of missing out but at the same time not knowing if there is anything to miss out on... There is also this empathy problem, lot of people socially build themselves a shell that is intended to protect them from getting hurt, the more they get hurt the thicker it gets. Thing is when you are truly empathic, then things get way more complicated in your social life. Anw i'm glad this kind of content exists, will try to share it, it's not even exclusive solutions to people diagnosed with bipolarity or other form of depression, I believe we can all learn from that a lot. It's worth being spread out even though content like this exist under different form, seeing Byron discussing it is just a bit more relatable to gamers. Plus a lot of people with a hundred thousands + reach on social media don't go deep enough onto mental health issues like this. It's truly something inspiring, hopefuly at some point i'll do my part for the people :D Cheers guys :)
59:23 still one of my favourite moments of this stream. The way the music fits is just perfect. Watching this vod made me momentarily forget about what happend, which made remembering Reckful's passing even more painful. Rest easy.
Thanks for posting this Rek. This resonated with me alot and I got a lot of tools from your discussion. And thanks to Dr. Kanojia for your insight on the talking points.
It HAS to be a MMO because that is what 5-yo Byron wanted to play with his brothers. Such a sad story which I think a lot of people can relate their future desires to their past trauma. I've had a couple of psychiatrists in my time, but they were all the same, but Dr. Kanojia seems to really get Reckful. You should really keep in touch with this person. Wish you all the best Reckful, can't wait to play your game and make some new friends :)
Thank you so much for doing this and sharing the moment. I broke down the same as you did watching and it made me finally want to talk to somebody, I've always felt that i could cope with my shit on my own, self diagnosing and thinking I know what my problems stem from but i really dont. I hope others can find something in this like I did.
@@DrSardonicus what are you supposed to say or do? even if the gesture doesn't stop someone from killing themselves, it's in our nature to show empathy/concern when there's clearly something wrong, and I don't think that deserves such harsh criticism.
@@DrSardonicus For a lot of people someone saying they're there is EXACTLY what they need. Reckful probably needed more but that's not Dr.K's responsibility and it doesn't mean that the offer wasn't appreciated and comforting for Reckful, even if it was just temporary. Nobody here is saying that systemic changes aren't needed, because hopefully we all know they are, so you saying this doesn't help the conversation.
I love how this guy was able to see past Reckful’s thinking when he was asking questions about the Doctor. We should be thankful that this guy may have prevented Reckful from killing himself even if it was only a few more months, this guy may have managed to extend Reckful’s life even for just a short time.
I think he gave him a positive upswing and the down swing was too much to handle. That´s why patients have to go to a psychiatrist regularly. RiP Reckful.
@@pexrinne5144 Thats actually true, unfortunately i have depressed cousin and what people dont understand about depression is their state of mind, explanation would be too long but in short, they have very rare moments of happiness and "drive" in general, when they feel it and when they lose it, its like 1000% worse they feel they will never get it again and they fall apart completely, their whole brain chemistry is messed up, God forbid to anyone to deal with that stuff! Mood swings happen on daily basis, non depressed people learn how to deal with them, depressed people have no idea how to regain control and root themselves in the moment, they just focus on the negative and enter into infinite thought loop as my brother described it "the only way to get that out of my head is to take a drill and push it into my temple"
nah he made it worst this shouldve been private, bet reckful was annoyed after this seeing ahole in the chat acting like they know him and telling him to kill himself
this feels like a big step in the right direction for gamers to understand that its okay and necessary to face our childhood trauma, mental health issues. reckful being so open and willing inspires others to seek out help too. i really hope that reckful can find a therapist like Dr K to work with.
Sadly most therapists seek money instead of honestly help people. Most current doctors do that sadly and people lose hope on the mental health care, thats also because those "Doctors" dont open up to new ideas and studies, instead they make do with what was given to them. (which usually does not freakin work, usually most sessions lead to a means to distract one's self from the core of a problem therefore making things worse in the end, especially because people rely on doctors so much and dont do their own personal development when able to). Healthy mentality and how to go about it should be taught in schools early on, not necessarily eastern meditation but simply awareness and stuff like that, those things were once occult (not to be confused with "cult") but now they have been modernized enough to be used normally, oftentimes mental health is equal if not more important than physical bodily health.
This is actually the most amazing and real thing ive ever seen on TV or internet. Miss you Bro, like more than I would have imagined ( except your rogue, swear to god you had blizzard hacks or some shit). Youre listening to 2 absolutely brilliant and honest minds. That basically never happens in this post-real-now-social media life. Reck I hope I meet you again in the next/after/reincarnation life. If not, and were all dust, your death actually served a purpose and a lot of people and paying attention.
Chat's laughter there is self-deprecating. Video games have been a tremendous part of all of our lives and yet we have a culture where we agree video games are objectively worthless. They laugh an uncomfortable, self-bullying laughter because they relate to him. We haven't all tried to kill ourselves over video games but we have all dedicated a massive portion of our lives to video games.
I am careful of laughing in any kind of chat when the ongoing subject is not generally light or funny u never know how the streamer will see it as ..like for a split second they look at the chat and they are personally nervous about it and see a comment go "haha fool"... u never know what state of mind they are in just a little comment even when you didn't mean anything wrong with it might make a huge impact specially when they are vulnerable i am basically worried that i don't make someone feel disrespected
It's a common defense mechanism to laugh when it hurts. 99% of chat are depressed losers so they related more to what Dr. K says than they are comfortable with.
thats exactly what is messed up. Most of us today, especailly post covid, live largely online lives. Yet there is no social opprobrium attached to negative comments on line as in real life.
I watched this video when I was in the pit of depression and it moved me to tears. I didn't really know who either of these guys were but something in the video resonated with me very deeply. I have since taken steps to try and make my life better and this video was definitely a part of it. Such a shame he couldn't pull through his mental anguish in the end. RIP man
53:26 I actually started crying when Dr K started talking about simple childhood goals and then reckful made me cry more. Loved this stream and I love reckful I hope Dr K can help solve the root of his depression. ♥️♥️♥️
Hey Reckful as someone who is constantly battling crippling anxiety and depression i want to thank you for doing this. Takes a lot to do this in front of so many people. All the best
I was listening to this while driving, and I started crying in my car listening to this. Unfortunately I'm a pizza delivery driver and got to the house, face all red from crying, and awkwardly gave them their pizza
Wow, this was such a powerful VOD. I had my own moments of self realization, had thoughts I didn't have before because of what Dr. Kanojia said. I cried for a good few minutes here and there, and it felt good. Up until today I never thought of meditation anything else but stupid. After those couple of minutes of meditating I actually felt lighter and more peaceful than before. It really opened my eyes to something I never thought I'd enjoy. I will definitely be continuing to do this method in the future to help myself get out of a depressed state of mind, anxiety, and suicidal/self-harming thoughts. It's crazy to think that in 2 hours of free therapy I learned so much about myself, about philosophy, meditation and even more. I am going to watch Dr. Kanojia's streams from now on, because I truly believe he is the push I need to finally start rolling down the mountain of depression/anxiety. Thank you so much for posting this VOD, as I am sure I wasn't the only person who got something useful and helpful out of it.
I come here to watch it again and I cried like a baby... can't imagine how his family and close ones going through right now. RIP Reckful we all gonna miss you.
I know you mean hope for Reckful but the video can still be watched so personally it gives me hope that his hope to help others struggling through similar situations can realise they can get help from therapy or their peers or maybe just videos like this. I never saw any of Reckful's content but my god do I respect him for his this goal of wanting to help coming from such heartbreak. RIP indeed
For all we know this interaction with Dr. k prolong his life for that extra 6 months. Cherish every hour you have on this earth, lets all be kind and more understanding to people. I think that's all reckful would've wanted
Rip Byron Grew up watching reckful and the news absolutely devastated me. Byron was the only person that I truly considered genuinely kind and I looked up to him because of that. You deserved so much better.
1:19:00 "While searching for information you roll your eyes a little, I'm just telling you. You probably don't wanna have it." "Why not?" *proceeds to roll his eyes to think* LOL
"I'll try not to kill myself anytime for you soon" 1:16:30. Dude that you can't be real im breaking down right now. Rest in peace reckful, may your soul reach heaven
Honestly I was very skeptical about sharing therapy sessions with a stream of a ton of people, but honestly this is what people need to see. They need to see the healing process. These are honestly helping me so much. I really appreciate you sharing with all of us.
I have never watched your stuff prior to this and nothing has connected with me like this video my 4 years of depression. Thank you for bringing Dr. Kanojia on stream.
This was so incredibly powerful! What a brave man he was. Such strength in his vulnerability. Amazing role model for young people who need to open up to someone. I'm so sorry that we lost him. I wish he had trusted someone to help him in those last moments. He was really special and wonderful.
Rest In Peace. I watched this video after he passed away. Being a gamer and depressed myself, there are so many things I can relate to and learn. I hope many people with depression or other difficulties can watch this video. Thank you very much Reckful and Dr. Kanojia.
Rest In Peace Byron. Thank you for doing this video it bought me out of a very dark spot and I wished you could have got out of the dark place you were in. You changed so many peoples lives for the better just by sitting in front of a camera and laughing. We love you Reckful
This hurts so much to watch, I am devastated and i'm sure many others feel the same. We will miss you Reckful, through both good and bad times we will remember you. Until our time comes. Raise the reck7 boys...
Rest in Peace Byron...im still shocked. You helped me and a lot more so fucking much with your openness about depression. You were an inspiration to my life and i thank you for everything you did. I hope you are at a better place now, love you
Rest in peace reckful, he brought me so much joy and was an advocate for openness about mental health. May his memory be a beacon and guidance for us all
What an amazing 2 hours well spent, loved the watch, thank you Byron and Dr Kanojia, It gave me a lot of redirect about some thoughts I've been having.
Hearing about 6 year old Reckful I started to forget it wasn't about me it was so powerfully resonating with me. Haven't cried like that in a very long time. Thank you for being brave and allowing this to happen so publicly Reckful. I'm a nobody but you've always helped me and I love you for it and respect you as a man.
Two of the highest quality hours spent in my life! Glad I watched it. Thank you so much for sharing this with people Byron. PS: 318 people downvoting such stuff... Are you crazy?
oh my god I'm going to miss this man :( he just filled my heart and having his stream on my second monitor was so cozy and his voice soothed me. :( idk I'm just rambling because there are no words keep thinking about him constantly
Watched your PvP movies when playing WoW at the same time as you like many viewers. And, dealing through difficult times myself after a divorce, watching this "therapy session" really hit me deep. You were very brave of showing this and I hope you can continue on your path!
I don't know if you are serious or not (though I feel like you are), just wanted to say don't downplay your problems, sometimes people think that their problems are not as big as other people are having and end up not seeking help. If you there's something bothering you or not letting you live a more fulfilling life, just talk about it. You can start trying to solve them with family or your best friends, or just go straight to see a psychologist. Because most of the problems rarely solve themselves, especially when it comes to human mind and psychology. And what's worse, problems that are left may grow to much bigger problems in the future. I learned this myself the hard way... So remeber, all problems are important, there are no problems that are too small, the sooner you get started to solve, to treat it, the better will be for you. Sorry for long comment and my bad english. Hope this helps you or someone that will read this. (I was super hesitant to leave this comment, because of thoughts that this is meaningless and no one will read this, but here we go).
@@Tyrvana If you can't identify the problem itself or it's hard to tell what is at fault, then you can try evaluating what are you thinking is causing you to feel bad or is causing other problems, for example: If you think your main problem is your schedule and the system, you can try to pick it up apart. Starting with schedule - you can start with answering questions what it is causing, why is it affecting you and how much and how do you feel because of it? Same with the system. You can even do it while writting, because if there's a lot of things going on your mind, that way it's easier to track your thoughts and sometimes it even helps to come up with solutions or easier to pick it apart when you see it physically written. And other option is that you can go to a psychologist, because they help you to indentify problems, to find out what's underneath them. As I said earlier, no problem is too small, because to see a psychologist you don't need to have a clear or heavy issues, because those issues become bigger and heavier as we leave them or underrate them. Even if after the visit it becomes clear that they are your main problems, then they can give advices, guide you to solving them or even if it make's it a tiniest bit better it's still good, because you are making progress and every bit helps. And if you having doubts about going to psycologist for one or other reason, the best way I can to say is that psychologists not only help to overcome serious issues, but they also help to prevent bigger issues from happening. Sometimes it may be hard to indetify or understand what is causing you to feel one way or another, but there's always a solution and there's always people and specialists that are more than willing to help you. Hope this helps you and if you have more questions I am more than happy to answer them or atleast try to help you in any way!
@@kevinlandrini6799 And thank you. This means a lot to me, it makes me feel a lot better too, knowing that maybe I helped someone, because I know how hard it can be, and it makes my life a lot brighter, when I can hope that my experience may help someone else.
RIP Reckful... this was tough to watch today. I'm really hoping your game still gets released to help all those 6 year olds that may go through the same thing you did... You're someone I looked up too and whenever you opened up about your depression I was able to relate on many levels. Sucks you're gone, but hopefully you're at peace now...
This video helped me look at my own situation in a different light.. it was one of the first times in a very long time I felt like I wasn't alone in what I was feeling and that other's understood. I remember telling my gf and mom about how I could relate with so much that was said in this conversation and that it really changed my outlook. Rest in peace Reck
Hey this for both of you! Reckful and Dr Kanojia. Want to know why the session was going so well and then just randomly and almost abruptly ended. Why didn’t you both continue even though you were so close to another breakthrough? ... anyone else is welcome to read along and follow. Read as much as you want if you choose, if you don’t want to continue at any point then just stop reading. First of all to put it in your terms this was one of the most amazing acts of AOE and breakthroughs I have ever witnessed. The most ever in a single session for an individual and the way you ask questions and diffuse pressure is amazing I am inspired. You show Reckful the way to remove his debuffs again and again to which he actually achieves an awakening state over 6 times in the session (maybe more) which is amazing. For periods of like 15 seconds sometimes. This is a great milestone. I also followed the journey because it helped me break down myself. I would like to share how I feel about your session as a new perspective hopefully shedding light on the situation and why it came to a sudden end instead of continuing like it was doing. A session like this is very likely to end sooner or later when there are only two involved. External help, karma baby. Let’s say I am doing this before myself decides to go up for air. It’s automatic as Reckful might say.
Part 2: Personally me myself has a deep connection with Reckful as I have watched him for many years and have seen the way he has grown and I have grown as well with him. This is why the session actually helped me break free of myself pretty much everytime that he did and even I stayed inbetween sometimes. This is why Reckful you are so amazing to AOE from because you have a deep connection to so many like yourself and have attracted many who are similar to you over the years. He has kept myself and others entertained for a big part of our lives. He has distracted me from myself often when it was very depressing during my teenage years. With the best of intentions and I am grateful. Me myself has been down the path of my own of depression to the very depths so I know how much much it fucking sucks. Reckfuls depression what is it all about? First of all let’s start with Reckfuls self. It was established that some of the layers of his self start with the distractions, the goals, the nihilistic perspective in life on the fact that there particular no meaning or reason for anything. Not what reality is but rather a depressing perspective on it. Leading to wanting to be distracted from the depression by goals and accomplishments for himself. As you said it’s often the simplest reasons that is where it all begins (the strongest roots). Up until the age of 5 Reckful was very happy playing with his brothers and family. Then this tragedy happened that was out of everyones control. His brother took his own life away. When it happened the debuff was activated to protect the innocent happy child Reckful from the pain of the tragedy and automatic feelings that followed instead of facing it, going through the emotions, accepting it and moving on, he became cocooned. Cacooned from a young age with nothing to fall back on. And what felt like no one to turn to. Immediately his life of goals, distractions, video games, ‘depression’ started. Like equipping this new magical chest plate armour that has +infinite armour, is really heavy to wear and has a permanent curse effect attached. Yes it fucking sucks but let’s not stop here let it happen keep going, there’s more. Okay so this is where it the session got to and the self returned shortly after by defending itself with a deeper root.
Part 3: Go back to the video and watch it a bit to help feel what I am about to attempt to describe. So at around 1:21:00 - 1:23:00 minutes you beautifully illustrated the character creation stage, the ego, the self, love this. It’s established that Reckful was incredibly lonely and hurt after his brother died. Shut himself away in his room. You protected reckful the happy innocent child that you love and want to protect so much from this wave of hurt and emotional tragedy. Let it out cry, it feels good to feel right? It’s totally okay and don’t stop here let’s keep going there’s more.. 1:23:45 “And then your other brother stayed in his room all the time” This sentence pulled you back into your mind as you chose to protect yourself, reckful the happy innocent child that you love, from the harsh truth of reality. Hey I feel for you right now for real. Here is a root or pointing to one. Then Reckful says “I just realised.. I just noticed that my parents were watching this” Notice the stuttering, the changing of sentences, the incorrect grammar as the self desperately struggles to pull you back in to protect itself from what? REALITY. You are still that loving innocent child love deep down so love yourself and forgive. You said it yourself “I just realised..” so oh no I need to protect from this. Myself activate! “They are welcome to come in too” Reckfuk responds “They won’t” Then you laugh historically and loudly at the realisation that yourself thinks this. Hello again let’s stay here now yeah and keep going :)) Now for this next final stage know that the deeper roots are the more offensive they appear and the harder they are to get over. Because they are more personal to the self. And the more selfish the response from the self will be. It helps to just read slowly with a really open mind, not going back over it with the logic of the self to change meaning. Remember you don’t actually care about what yourself thinks. This is why you just laughed at it hysterically. For a split moment you are awareness, then back to a really quiet voice of the self. It’s quiet because it is getting weaker. You are choosing to do this be proud and loving for this fact not embarrassed of the self, that’s just identifying with it. So basically your self believes that your parents didn’t care enough for you and didn’t help you through your loneliness as a child. As did your brother other being i his room all the time. In fact you secretly resent them for this but don’t want to admit it. Your big brother was taken away from you and it felt like you had no one to turn too. How could they do this to a happy loving child! He had no one to turn no one supported him enough, no one loved him.
Part 4: The beauty of true forgiveness. I mean that is one of the worst things that you can ever do to a child going through suicide, they need love and support. But the reality is EVERYONE is doing the best that they can with the resources available to them. No matter how fucked up it is. Your parents just like you and everyone else have their own roots, beliefs, problems that have been copied from others. They did the best they could to help that loving child. Reality isn’t always pretty. But accepting makes it feel a hell of a lot better. There is no wondering why they didn’t do more to help you, to love you to heal you and to protect your brother from himself so that maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Your brother was only 16 at the time still under their care, they should have cared for him why didn’t they and they wouldn’t come on now to talk because they still don’t care. The reality is simply they do care, they did care and they were doing the best that their selves knew how to do. What people think is best is not always best. Forgiving them not only sets you free but also everyone effected. We are nearly there let’s keep going. Now finally Forgive your brothers choice for real not just think you have: 1:24:06 And for the exact same reason as you forgive your parents. Your brother deserted you as a child, reckful the child who you love so much deserted him without even thinking how it would effect him. Without even caring! He was doing the best he could with the resources available with him. He made a choice that he thought was the best choice based on his current state. It was a selfish decision because it was made by the self. Of course any decision made by the self is selfish, to be selfless you have to act from the state of no self and no thought. When there is a lot of hate for the self some decide to end it out of desperation. It’s reality it has happened to many people it will happen so accept it, go through the emotions of it but most importantly. FORGIVE IT because anyone would have done it in his state in his selfs situation and circumstances. We are all the same in our essence.
Part 5: Now I am actually going to talk about you Dr. Kanojia now. Even though you kept pulling Reckful back out at the end of the session you both were pulled back in and it’s very hard to be self aware of why one goes back into themselves so I’m offering a new perspective on this. That you don’t have agree with of course but you already know this. 1:46:02 “When you do phsylocybin it breaks down the barriers of the identity start to fall apart” “When your depressed your in your own head your stuck there, your thoughts are constant, your stuck inside yourself stuck stuck stuck stuck you can’t get away” “should I eat should I not eat I I I I” this was not only meant for Reckful but for yourself as well. What this tells a message about yourself is this specifically: The use of the word “I I I I is a sign for being stuck in the self. And most importantly the only way is just “step outside of it!” So based on this let’s go deeper. 1:47:07 This is when Reckful inadvertently pulled you back into your thoughts. “I’m glad you weren’t against the physolybin”. You knew he was leading back into himself here based on your half disappointing yet patient reaction. Reckful self realises also and pulls back out based on the reaction that he started laughing about himself suddenly. But then Reckful abruptly stopped laughing half way through and went into mind and pulled you into your mind as well. (This is a sign for Reckful needing to let go of ego completely, to be able to laugh at himself forever, which links back to what you were saying before about him wanting to think he knows a lot of stuff about everything (which may be party true) and being sure of himself, serious) When you were pulled back in yourself started spewing faces about weed, drugs, everything. The belief that somehow yourselfs life is wasted if it’s not important to know all this knowledge, it’s the only way you will be to be able to “teach it”. When in fact “teaching” is the problem in itself, (we have to show). Working through stuff emotionally doesn’t need facts but I will go more into this in a bit. You have spent much of this life already doing and learning facts so it’s a big idea to give up on. It’s a bit part of yourself. When you were diving with Reckful going through his emotions notice how you always stayed clear of facts saying we can talk about it later and just kept asking questions pulling him back out. All you really needed to do was ask questions, show not teach, dig around and meditate by distracting the mind. These were the only things that actually worked in the session with reckful anyway. Knowing and being a Dr is good for getting others self to trust you and get in the door based on qualifications. It can also shut down self thought loops with counteractive knowledge and more understanding but this only leads to ego and anger. It can spread knowledge of subjects and understanding but this only helps people’s selves.
Part 6: Simply by leading away subtly and not engaging avoids a lot of resistance and dissolved ego which is practically far more effective as you don’t get stuck. So one may ask what way do we choose to do when we take out the society beliefs that we live in today about education, money and social ranking created by the selfs of ego, but let’s get into that later and keep going. As an observant I now saw yourself pull yourself in more by going down the ‘fact road’ that yourself uses a lot to come back (also what happened when reckful mentioned your “tick” eyeroll which lead you into the fact road of the self. Based on the belief that knowledge and understanding is important for Tantra. This is why Reckful said “you should probably get rid of that”, he wasn’t being judgemental he just wasn’t considering the best approach is to diffuse this part of yourself first and show the way without teaching and telling directly. I struggle with this so I apologise if at all this happens. “I get asked a lot of questions about drugs. I think that. I think that. A lot of people don’t understand that” Notice how this relates to what the previous meaning of what was said by you? I I I I, it’s about me. Thought loops. Using the word I and making it about me etc? Now yourself wanted to defend yourself even more by confirming identity but fortunately this also in turn revealing the root of the problem: So we have just been doing a bit of digging around yourself just like you did to Reckful now let’s take it further: 1:48:59 - watch it objectively Now Reckful pushes your root and found it by saying “if their enjoying their life it’s okay for some people” And you responded by saying “No I don’t think it is” quite abruptly and quickly. *this is the first time that you directly chose to contradict Reckfuls self throughout the whole entire session as one normally reacts to the self by diffusing the thought pattern/loop and changing the subject when this time yourself went along with it* (Emphasis on the I THINK pattern which is showing more and more to be a sign of self) You are literally self diagnosing yourself as you go through this. Which is one of the reasons why you want to hell others. “I don’t think enjoyment is a meaningful life”. Here is the underlying next step down the though loop which may be the root of your belief. Enjoying ones life. As long as your fulfilling your tantra. As long as your doing your duty to YOURSELF” (scary to see yourself in action at first I know but it’s okay let’s level up) So what we can take from this is when yourselfs focus and only reason behind everything is this, then you have a reason to be yourself. Break free Life is a process, joy is constant. Happiness is temporary, its goal driven, it’s cause and effect but joy continues. To ENjoy IS to be joyful. Release the ego and realise the goal of helping everyone with tantra without enjoyment is the same as Reckfuls goal to make a video game. They are a parallel for the same reason. They exist for the self. Just because the idea of spreading tantra sounds more important and spiritually important doesn’t mean anything. Joy. To be joyful you have TO BE joyful. It’s a stepping stone to joy. To be is not for you to do it happens to yourself. By the way this is what me myself struggles with a lot and many others too. Spread love to others. Show that joy is a choice that they can choose whenever they want to do as well is the gift of spreading a joyful life. You can’t teach someone to do it. I can’t teach you to do it I can only describe it. Joyful people show it and offer it. The joyful people of this world, look all around there are many of them and they don’t know why they just are. People of love and kindness. They work in many different jobs, often social without the intention of money. Often you meet them when travelling the world. Simple people have big hearts. Working through problems only gets one so far, the act of healing gets one so far. Enjoying is to actually change, not the self but the perspective. Feel first, wake up first but then dance. Tantra is the transcendence of human nature. Liberation of bound up energies. What better way is there to liberate yourself, bound up energies and transcend than by being joyful. Playful. Loving. These all different words that mean the same thing brother. They point the same way. The only way to spread this is to be. Be woke yes but enjoy as well. The way of tantra is not to go down thought loops about what someone thinks is the meaning of life, or to understand and go down though loops logically with facts about weed and drugs. Just be. Got to be true. Just love. I don’t care if it hurts, “I’m tired of lies and all these games. I’ve reached a point in life no longer can I be this way. I’m moving on, yes I’m moving on. I’m finally free.” If you want more signs just objectively look at your facial expressions and how they start to tighten. They never do when your diving. You start to stutter as well. This never happens when out of thought. When awake. Analyse your own body language and be completely objective. Then yourself finally wrapped it up nicely and doubled down on the belief by rationalising it with something that makes way more sense and sounds similar. So by saying “you should have a life where you fulfill your tantra” “I don’t think living a life of pleasure is...” and Reckful subconsciously cuts you off without realising why. Notice how when woke and he’s in his self you also try to change the subject and cut off or disengage the subject of thought by breaking the thought loop. So this is your thought loop that I am observing my friend I hope you see well with this information as you so please. Play. Don’t take things so seriously. Enjoy. Spread it. Heal while playing. Lead people to hopefully be genuinely joyful. Let the good vibes, get a lot stronger.
Not every psychiatrist pushes medication that is an overgenelarization, altough I do acknowledge the fact that they have a tendency to put medication first.
?? Well 1. He can’t prescribe drugs over the internet. And 2. Most psychiatrists practice talk therapy. There are levels of mental health issues, Byron has bipolar (and this isn’t discrediting his issues) but just like physical illness there are levels, and for some people they are pretty much a necessity. But this guy is no where near the only psychiatrist who does talk therapy, the majority do.
11DaltonB Well but aren‘t you talking about psychologists and not psychiatrists. Because, here in europe at least, psychiatrists basically only do prescriptions of medications and psychologists do the therapies. And from my perspective i can only confirm what this indian psychiatrist in this video was saying about western psychiatrists. They basically just fill you up with drugs like ssris etc. It‘s really bad, i swear.
I’m so sad and I’m can only imagine how hurt his family is feeling. As a parent to have 2 of your 3 children pass away. We need to take care of our families and our friends. 💔
Rest in peace. thanks for being the person that you were you made a lot of people feel better about themselves and potentially saving lives. Thank you Bryon
I've always played videogames as an escape. I was going to do the same tonight but instead spent my night watching this. I've felt lost since I was young, and this discussion really helped me understand why I began to feel that way. It's something I never understood, and now that I do ill be able to avoid going down those "thought paths" again. Thank you for being so open and willing to share this with people, Reckful. This helped me find some peace within myself that I've lacked for a long time.
Thank you for coming on short notice and being able to show a ton of emotion. All I can say is brave!
Thanks alot man, this talk was great!
Oh wow it’s really him! This was AMAZING, keep going!!
Keep it up dude, you help a lot!
Really great session with reckful, could see he was a changed man in just 2 hours talking with you. I myself dont suffer from any mental health issues but I was moved as well by your rhetoric. Keep up the good work!
Rest in peace Byron.
You will be missed by everyone in your community.
Legend
RIP
RIP Reckful....
This is hard to watch, RIP
Time to go back through this...RIP
Everyone is thanking reckful here, and he does deserve appreciation for being brave and doing this, but mad props to this guy who has tried to heal Byron, out of his own kindness in his heart, hes not asked for money, hes just trying to help someone, hes the real MVP here.
He is helping a lot of ppl too while hes helping Byron
Good investment for him lmao
@@EliasOwnage95 He's a Harvard educated psychologist. Even if he became a top streamer he still wouldn't make as much as he could if he put as much time into his trade in other ways.
@@0sba who says he has to choose 1 income?
@@0sba This is a form of him putting time into his trade in other ways. Twitch is an avenue to grow and make money.
Rest in peace Byron. :(
Dr K if you're reading this. You can't save everyone. You certainly were one of the few people who were able to be there for him when he needed you the most, so you can maybe feel some solace in that. Lots of love and support.
dahalofreeek That’s true, you can’t cure depression but you can halt it’s effects on your life. There is still a button in you brain that can be triggered by a certain event occurring.
@@dahalofreeek The probable therapeutists' worst feeling is on that if he caused or contributed towards his suicide when he reinforced him to think all this, because he didn't know him good enough and this was only one theraphy session, so there wasn't any room for interventions with him or other medical professionalist - eventually Reckful as a smart guy, thought himself to death. That's one of the worst feelings when you're touched deeply into someone as a professional, but the blame shouldn't be on the therapeutist at all. Respects for them both!
dahalofreeek If you still think Dr K doesn’t care deeply despite being a professional, I don’t think you’ve been paying attention.
dahalofreeek Dr. K cares more than most. He was making a big deal about xQc's rather minimal problems and even heard Katerino out instead of making fun of and memeing her like TwoMad
@@pokingHali I think what he means is that Dr. K does a good job of not letting the emotional weight of these deaths interfere with what he does. Not that he doesn't care about the people he talks too.
RIP Reckful.
I felt like I went through the dark times with him throughout my life at some points. Really breaks my heart to see his story end this way.
Thank you for the many years of memories, laughs and epic gameplay, Byron. You will be dearly missed. I truly hope that you are in a better place.
Same, this just fucking sucks
I am gonna tell you the truth about Itachi Uchiha
This has got to be the greatest thing ive seen from Reckful in a while, feeling optimistic for his future and this channel.
zoomed out for a second in the middle of the video to write exactly this, this is the best thing I've ever seen on the internet.
Reckful has quite a few ridiculously amazing streams tbh... ironically he is by far one of the best streamers when he’s not obsessively playing some boring ass game
@@dogfood142 Yeah like the one where he met Natalie, one of the GOAT
@@dogfood142 I love reckful playing hearthstone but I also like his personality and real life streams.
Kahoobb yes those streams are ok but they are no way near as food as when he does shit like this - remember when he asked chat to turn their streams and spent hours looking at different peoples places? Actually genius.
I was doing the breathing thing but started to laugh when someone in chat said they started to levitate lol
haha i saw that too
time stamp
1:37:06
but twitch chat gets funny at 1:36:43
yes this chat was very entertaining and i just had to stop there to laugh as well when they spammed "breathing exercise" or "this is too hard man just give me some pills"
Reckful is so brave for doing this on stream FeelsStrongMan
I am stronger from listening to this conversation with the doctor
yeah, fuck man. I dont think many in his situation would be able to this kind of thing live
this guy is Jordan peterson 2.0, dont forget to buy this guys book when it comes and sub to his patreon. You guys are so gullible, LOL.Except this time its with Hinduism instead of Christianity.
>sO bRaVe
@@jessicaban8728 Why does it being "Christian" or "Hindu" disqualify it for you? cause someone is making a living of being the middleman for it?
Rest in peace Reckful. It was a good journey...
Ray Wonder of course it’s from a toxic edgy nerd with a skull for an icon lol
@@Quaquadaqu True and people actualy care about a Jew who off'd himself? What's new? LOL XD
No hate, but he doesn't deserve to be honored or mentioned. What a bad example to young kids.
@@imqsqs do you understand the pain you have to experience to override your will to live? Regardless of your perception about what his choice means about him as a person, choice and free will is an illusion. We are born as blank slates and our journey is set in motion by all external factors, as in if you went through the same things he did you would have committed suicide as well. What I mean is that his choice to committ suicide does not define or stain his entire life, he was a good person and didnt mean to hurt anyone.
@@imqsqs He might've been depressed for most of his life, but he overshadows it with the successes he's made, the smiles he's brought upon his viewers/to the people around him (other streamers, etc.), and how open he was about his life just like a best friend or a family member. Saying he's a "bad example" to kids is an understatement. Many people would love to disagree with your opinion. His depression was hidden behind a mask, but he did what he could and he made the people around him love his overall personality with his positivity and kindness. Not to say depression is a good thing, but the thing is, you don't know what a person is going through unless you're in their shoes.
my favorite parts:
Thought Loops - 10:25
Dreams - 13:40
Depression hijacking - 18:15
Mind - 19:55
Anxiety - 20:13 - 20:57
Unhappy vs Depression: 24:40
Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs; 25:17
Periods of happiness?: 35:10
Engrossed in the challenge 37:12
Mushroom - 38:20
Identity - 39:20
Purpose/Crying - 40:11
Reckful’s Depression - 40:45
Western Undestanding of Mental Health 47:35
5 year old you - 55:00
That kid is not you - 55:50
what did little kid want - 57:25
Making a game -1:02:30
Help that kid - 1:04:30
Debufft: 1:21:30
Purpose: 1:23:05
Depressed; 1:25:00
Our mind: 1:26; 30
Out of mind experience: 1:45:40
Marijuana - 1:47:30
Discussion about Marijuana - 1:48:50
Flow Zone - 1:51:50
You are the MVP! :D
50mins onwards I was sobbing. That’s when it felt it got really deep and real. I don’t watch reckful and had no idea about his depression and life events. Now I have a huge amount of love for him.
ward
you're dope
4Love
Aoe healing, PogChamp
best comment on youtube
i literally lol'ed
omg nice
Global AoE, probably will be nerfed next patch
@@SoKewlify How about nah?
Huge props to both people here...this was an emotional roller coaster and really appreciate both people letting us ride it with them.
This is why people like Reckful, positive or negative you can count on him to be genuine, and he's willing to share these intimate vulnerable experiences
When Byron started talking about when his brother took him to the arcade because his brother took his life just to get him away from all of the horrific scenes made me sob so much. Love you Reckful
Shouting into the void here as I rewatch these: something I’ve personally had to overcome is the feeling of responsibility to do something I hate because others are relying on me and the depression that that causes. I wish I could say to every depressed person: you don’t have to do anything except what you want to do. A therapist asked me once when I kept saying “I have to X” or “I need to Y” she said “who told you that?” And it changed my life because no one had told me that but me. All that responsibility to save the people in my world and make everything alright no one had put on me but me. Granted I’m not a famous person that others look to so idk if that would’ve really helped Reckful but I think it could help others.
Me, I tell myself I need to do things. They are maybe harsh goals, perhaps beyond my reach, but they are what I must do.
Man, I'm listening to this at work and starting to tear up when he was talking about his brothers. This was an intense experience for him. I am super proud of him for working through this on stream and removing the stigma around seeking help from professionals. And kudos to the doc for offering this service to gamers.
Dude yes. I had to choke back tears at work because of this
I had to sold something while listening and said I had to tear up due to the vapeing in my eyes xD
This was great. I would love to see you stream with him again sometime. Even just discussing depression and anxiety helps more than you'd think.
True, seeing the process of release happening helps releasing stuff you are dealing with too.
goatstop Who says so?
I was getting chills throughout this whole thing because for the first time in my life I connected a few things that I never thought were actually 2 ways of seeing the same point. Everything the doc said made sense to me intuitively. Also helped me understand and make sense of my thoughts during my last psilocybin trip.
Thank you bros
I feel like I lost a friend. The internet is a powerful thing and connects people more than humans are conscious of. RIP Byron, I miss you man.
@Midousuji Akira You need help
40:14 Byron was just so pure. Its so incredibly sad that we lost a person like him. rip
This Dr. is inanely good at his job. What an awesome human being helping people like this. He's so insanely insightful and does so in a way that's understandable. I'm definitely going to be tuning into his stream from now on!
He's a professor at Harvard, what did you expect. They pick out the best of the best.
Animato but mostly Indian 👈🏼✌🏼👳🏾♂️
@@animato6441 actually... looks like he learned from Yoga more than he did from harvard. So if anything, his monk-like past should be credited.
I am not saying that Harvard didnt had big and positive influence to him, i am just stating what i seen --- that he was too much influeced by yogic teaching
put this dr in your game, so people can interect with him there, like a hospital thing.. idk
that is actually a really good fucking idea lmao
@@MrDycole Yeah, like in WoW you have Ben Brode, because he had influence on the community and I think this dude had huge influence on Reckful. Damn..
And 5 year old Reckful too.
That would be so fuckin pog.
Monk class trainer
consciousness without mind ... he's talking about you, chat
Twitch chat reminds me of my 13 year old self
ill assume you're 13 ok doesnt matter maybe
The twitch chat is a collective manifestation of the epitome of an unconscious mind.
Can u guys just grow up.
@@LukasAaronBader-uk6yq i died when they started spaming MAYO😂
man i come back to this video more than i'd like to RIP Byron
random guy in chat : "wtf happened i was playing league"
im always that random guy PepeLaugh
42:12 Migas03: "wtf happened i was playing league"
Not gonna lie, this video helped me a lot, thx Reckful
Same I was even doing the meditation thing, I had to blow my nose too
Same here it made me realize a lot too.
honestly same!!
Does jordan peterson help you too?
it helped me so much too, especially the meditation
this was powerful. cried along with a guy ive never watched before and know nothing about.
same dude
I knew Reck. He was brilliant, INTENSELY loving and caring. He shared millions. He was open about everything. He just couldnt get it right in his head. Wasnt a hatred of any of us, sadly he disliked himself in the end. You actually cant give me a more amazing and loving and intelligent person that decided to jump at the end.
Thanks Reckful and Dr. Kanojia,
depression literally almost ate me, and then I accidentally hit your stream. That helped me a lot. Feel you bro, all will be good.
Those who lost loved ones in childhood are strong people.
I'm so thankful this exists. It's honestly really relieving to see someone be so open about their mental health. I've cried in front of my doctors numerous times, but seeing it expressed publicly is a breath of fresh air. It helps to normalize these feelings, and it sets a standard that says it's OK to cry, it's OK to be vulnerable. Thank you both for doing this, and especially you Reckful, it takes a lot of courage to be open among strangers.
11:09 look at byrons search history ‘define joy’ that really hits hard man considering what he was going through :(
Damn.
seeing the lyrics too, "cant prepare for death any more than I already have" fuck me man
I looked at the offline vod, and came here to watch it again. Dr. Kanojia is a very smart person for finding this niche place in the online gaming world (there was an attempt with that website that turned out to be a little scamish, forgot the name). This whole conversation actually helped me realize my problems, i realized i am not depressed , i am just lonely and without purpose/direction or meaning. I am happy you took a step further in tackling this and at the same time being so brave to be so vulnerable and not at least help SO MANY. Thank you both!
This just shows, anything can happen with time. Never let the overwealming feeling of depression identify you.
Anything is possible.
I'm still watching but wanted to take a moment to thank you Reckful, you were the first inspiration (even though not the first streamer) that actually made me want to get into live streaming & creating content a few years ago. We had the same views on a lot of topics, we both wrongly called boomers because of being barely 30 years old ( :D ) and I guess, even though I don't have had severe depression or being diagnosed. We both have/had it at some extent, quest for life meaning, happiness or even our place as individuals in this world is something that the majority of people question themselves at one point or the other. But, at least for me, it's always been about am I fit for what I do, is that what I should be doing or is there anything I should be doing to make sense of it all, also this fear of missing out but at the same time not knowing if there is anything to miss out on... There is also this empathy problem, lot of people socially build themselves a shell that is intended to protect them from getting hurt, the more they get hurt the thicker it gets. Thing is when you are truly empathic, then things get way more complicated in your social life.
Anw i'm glad this kind of content exists, will try to share it, it's not even exclusive solutions to people diagnosed with bipolarity or other form of depression, I believe we can all learn from that a lot. It's worth being spread out even though content like this exist under different form, seeing Byron discussing it is just a bit more relatable to gamers. Plus a lot of people with a hundred thousands + reach on social media don't go deep enough onto mental health issues like this. It's truly something inspiring, hopefuly at some point i'll do my part for the people :D
Cheers guys :)
Gemik what are The odds of seeing u here lol. Im Ferdy if u remember me
very wholesome moments i love it
RIP
59:23 still one of my favourite moments of this stream. The way the music fits is just perfect. Watching this vod made me momentarily forget about what happend, which made remembering Reckful's passing even more painful. Rest easy.
i cant stop crying.
rest in peace Byron hope you are chilling rn, love ya
Thanks for posting this Rek. This resonated with me alot and I got a lot of tools from your discussion. And thanks to Dr. Kanojia for your insight on the talking points.
It HAS to be a MMO because that is what 5-yo Byron wanted to play with his brothers. Such a sad story which I think a lot of people can relate their future desires to their past trauma. I've had a couple of psychiatrists in my time, but they were all the same, but Dr. Kanojia seems to really get Reckful. You should really keep in touch with this person. Wish you all the best Reckful, can't wait to play your game and make some new friends :)
Thank you so much for doing this and sharing the moment. I broke down the same as you did watching and it made me finally want to talk to somebody, I've always felt that i could cope with my shit on my own, self diagnosing and thinking I know what my problems stem from but i really dont. I hope others can find something in this like I did.
1:16:30 hits really different right now :( R.I.P Reckful OG Rank 1
As a psychiatrist I can confirm that the Dr noticed there was a bigger problem. Thats why he asked him you can always ask me anytime
@@DrSardonicus what are you supposed to say or do? even if the gesture doesn't stop someone from killing themselves, it's in our nature to show empathy/concern when there's clearly something wrong, and I don't think that deserves such harsh criticism.
Kiwa Nozukai exactly there’s nothing we can do about it man all we can do is try
@@DrSardonicus For a lot of people someone saying they're there is EXACTLY what they need. Reckful probably needed more but that's not Dr.K's responsibility and it doesn't mean that the offer wasn't appreciated and comforting for Reckful, even if it was just temporary.
Nobody here is saying that systemic changes aren't needed, because hopefully we all know they are, so you saying this doesn't help the conversation.
At least he kept his promise and did it months later
I love how this guy was able to see past Reckful’s thinking when he was asking questions about the Doctor. We should be thankful that this guy may have prevented Reckful from killing himself even if it was only a few more months, this guy may have managed to extend Reckful’s life even for just a short time.
I think he gave him a positive upswing and the down swing was too much to handle. That´s why patients have to go to a psychiatrist regularly.
RiP Reckful.
@@pexrinne5144 So true. Mental health is not about a quick fix
@@pexrinne5144 Thats actually true, unfortunately i have depressed cousin and what people dont understand about depression is their state of mind, explanation would be too long but in short, they have very rare moments of happiness and "drive" in general, when they feel it and when they lose it, its like 1000% worse they feel they will never get it again and they fall apart completely, their whole brain chemistry is messed up, God forbid to anyone to deal with that stuff! Mood swings happen on daily basis, non depressed people learn how to deal with them, depressed people have no idea how to regain control and root themselves in the moment, they just focus on the negative and enter into infinite thought loop as my brother described it "the only way to get that out of my head is to take a drill and push it into my temple"
nah he made it worst this shouldve been private, bet reckful was annoyed after this seeing ahole in the chat acting like they know him and telling him to kill himself
this feels like a big step in the right direction for gamers to understand that its okay and necessary to face our childhood trauma, mental health issues. reckful being so open and willing inspires others to seek out help too. i really hope that reckful can find a therapist like Dr K to work with.
Sadly most therapists seek money instead of honestly help people. Most current doctors do that sadly and people lose hope on the mental health care, thats also because those "Doctors" dont open up to new ideas and studies, instead they make do with what was given to them.
(which usually does not freakin work, usually most sessions lead to a means to distract one's self from the core of a problem therefore making things worse in the end, especially because people rely on doctors so much and dont do their own personal development when able to). Healthy mentality and how to go about it should be taught in schools early on, not necessarily eastern meditation but simply awareness and stuff like that, those things were once occult (not to be confused with "cult") but now they have been modernized enough to be used normally, oftentimes mental health is equal if not more important than physical bodily health.
This is actually the most amazing and real thing ive ever seen on TV or internet. Miss you Bro, like more than I would have imagined ( except your rogue, swear to god you had blizzard hacks or some shit). Youre listening to 2 absolutely brilliant and honest minds. That basically never happens in this post-real-now-social media life. Reck I hope I meet you again in the next/after/reincarnation life. If not, and were all dust, your death actually served a purpose and a lot of people and paying attention.
literally some of the best stuff you ever did 2010-2019
31:46 I think it's crazy how chat laughs at this. We definitely need more love and empathy in our community and just overall online.
chat is a hivemind, who the fuck sits all day on someones stream and send bunch of emojis and simple texts every 5 seconds
Chat's laughter there is self-deprecating. Video games have been a tremendous part of all of our lives and yet we have a culture where we agree video games are objectively worthless. They laugh an uncomfortable, self-bullying laughter because they relate to him. We haven't all tried to kill ourselves over video games but we have all dedicated a massive portion of our lives to video games.
I am careful of laughing in any kind of chat when the ongoing subject is not generally light or funny u never know how the streamer will see it as ..like for a split second they look at the chat and they are personally nervous about it and see a comment go "haha fool"... u never know what state of mind they are in just a little comment even when you didn't mean anything wrong with it might make a huge impact specially when they are vulnerable i am basically worried that i don't make someone feel disrespected
It's a common defense mechanism to laugh when it hurts. 99% of chat are depressed losers so they related more to what Dr. K says than they are comfortable with.
thats exactly what is messed up. Most of us today, especailly post covid, live largely online lives. Yet there is no social opprobrium attached to negative comments on line as in real life.
I watched this video when I was in the pit of depression and it moved me to tears. I didn't really know who either of these guys were but something in the video resonated with me very deeply. I have since taken steps to try and make my life better and this video was definitely a part of it.
Such a shame he couldn't pull through his mental anguish in the end.
RIP man
This guy is very wise, has helped me a lot. th-cam.com/video/bVygt45dqtc/w-d-xo.html
Glad for you. I'm super depressed too it's pretty bad
watched the whole thing, its an amazing experience to listen to someone talk when they actually know and understand what they're saying
When reckful starts crying I always feel like I’m gonna cry
good. That means you feel Empathy.
So you're probably not a Phsycopath. ;)
So basically all the time
@@MrHogzor am i a psycho then for laughing lmfao???
@@sonagi8437 yes
@@sonagi8437 nah you are just a child that doesn't get it, it's fine when you get older you might pick up empathy
53:26 I actually started crying when Dr K started talking about simple childhood goals and then reckful made me cry more. Loved this stream and I love reckful I hope Dr K can help solve the root of his depression. ♥️♥️♥️
I didnt realize how much I needed this vid
IM so glad I watched the video.. Ill call my therapist again, but this world lost a legend :/ R.I.P Byron
Hey Reckful as someone who is constantly battling crippling anxiety and depression i want to thank you for doing this. Takes a lot to do this in front of so many people. All the best
I was listening to this while driving, and I started crying in my car listening to this. Unfortunately I'm a pizza delivery driver and got to the house, face all red from crying, and awkwardly gave them their pizza
warrior
Wow, this was such a powerful VOD. I had my own moments of self realization, had thoughts I didn't have before because of what Dr. Kanojia said. I cried for a good few minutes here and there, and it felt good. Up until today I never thought of meditation anything else but stupid. After those couple of minutes of meditating I actually felt lighter and more peaceful than before. It really opened my eyes to something I never thought I'd enjoy. I will definitely be continuing to do this method in the future to help myself get out of a depressed state of mind, anxiety, and suicidal/self-harming thoughts. It's crazy to think that in 2 hours of free therapy I learned so much about myself, about philosophy, meditation and even more. I am going to watch Dr. Kanojia's streams from now on, because I truly believe he is the push I need to finally start rolling down the mountain of depression/anxiety. Thank you so much for posting this VOD, as I am sure I wasn't the only person who got something useful and helpful out of it.
hope you’re doing good now man ❤️
This was the video that helped me take steps improving my mental health. Thank you Reckful for sharing. I'm going to miss you
"Sleep was the only time I felt peace"
Rest Forever Byron
Kanoija sounds like LS without the toxicity but with a degree instead.
holy shit XDDD fucking morelo
Jesus fuck I was saying this too, I was like "when did LS go to Harvard?"
Ls has a degree in toxicology
Lmaooo
Seriously though, I didn't play them back to back, but his voice *reaaaally* sounds like LS's.
This was extremely wholesome
I think Dr. Kanojia is gonna be fully booked from now on. He might even be great enough to treat twitch chat.
No one's that good
@@metalslave94 hahaha
I come here to watch it again and I cried like a baby... can't imagine how his family and close ones going through right now.
RIP Reckful we all gonna miss you.
this gave me so much hope when i first watched this 6 months ago .... RIP Reckful
I know you mean hope for Reckful but the video can still be watched so personally it gives me hope that his hope to help others struggling through similar situations can realise they can get help from therapy or their peers or maybe just videos like this. I never saw any of Reckful's content but my god do I respect him for his this goal of wanting to help coming from such heartbreak. RIP indeed
joe mcalister Hope for me and for him . Take care of yourself too
For all we know this interaction with Dr. k prolong his life for that extra 6 months. Cherish every hour you have on this earth, lets all be kind and more understanding to people. I think that's all reckful would've wanted
Rip Byron
Grew up watching reckful and the news absolutely devastated me. Byron was the only person that I truly considered genuinely kind and I looked up to him because of that.
You deserved so much better.
man i remember this stream and thought it was the greatest. rip byron, you will be missed more than you know.
Best stream of the year FeelsStrongMan
1:19:00 "While searching for information you roll your eyes a little, I'm just telling you. You probably don't wanna have it."
"Why not?"
*proceeds to roll his eyes to think*
LOL
OSfrog that made me laugh so hard shit was awkward man
DUDE FUCK THAT WAS THE MOST AWKWARD THING IN THE WORLD WTFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was really WTF moment
"I'll try not to kill myself anytime for you soon" 1:16:30. Dude that you can't be real im breaking down right now. Rest in peace reckful, may your soul reach heaven
:(
Rip
Honestly I was very skeptical about sharing therapy sessions with a stream of a ton of people, but honestly this is what people need to see. They need to see the healing process. These are honestly helping me so much. I really appreciate you sharing with all of us.
I have never watched your stuff prior to this and nothing has connected with me like this video my 4 years of depression. Thank you for bringing Dr. Kanojia on stream.
I actually watched the whole thing. Super powerful glad you posted this Reckful.
This was so incredibly powerful! What a brave man he was. Such strength in his vulnerability. Amazing role model for young people who need to open up to someone. I'm so sorry that we lost him. I wish he had trusted someone to help him in those last moments. He was really special and wonderful.
1:16:34
"I'll try to not kill myself anytime soon"
:(
Yeh its sad
Rest In Peace.
I watched this video after he passed away. Being a gamer and depressed myself, there are so many things I can relate to and learn. I hope many people with depression or other difficulties can watch this video. Thank you very much Reckful and Dr. Kanojia.
The background music really helped making this more palatable.
This is very good for younger men to see... I feel like we really ignore these issues for men in society
Thank you
The demeanor he had at the end of the stream was so cool to see. It looked like he was genuinely happy and excited for his future.
Rest In Peace Byron. Thank you for doing this video it bought me out of a very dark spot and I wished you could have got out of the dark place you were in. You changed so many peoples lives for the better just by sitting in front of a camera and laughing. We love you Reckful
This hurts so much to watch, I am devastated and i'm sure many others feel the same.
We will miss you Reckful, through both good and bad times we will remember you. Until our time comes. Raise the reck7 boys...
This is the best thing I've ever watched. Much love to both of them
So incredibly strong to dare to do this, to open up and show others. I admire you Byron!
this 1 video was more helpful to me than 7 years of psychological professional help, damn
The part where he talks about how other practisions dont tell you how your mind work and how that is wrong hit me Hard and is so true for most people.
Rest in Peace Byron...im still shocked. You helped me and a lot more so fucking much with your openness about depression. You were an inspiration to my life and i thank you for everything you did. I hope you are at a better place now, love you
Rest in peace reckful, he brought me so much joy and was an advocate for openness about mental health. May his memory be a beacon and guidance for us all
This is the best video I've watched for a looooooooong time. This is so informative and raw. Thank you for uploading this
What an amazing 2 hours well spent, loved the watch, thank you Byron and Dr Kanojia, It gave me a lot of redirect about some thoughts I've been having.
10/10 comment
Hearing about 6 year old Reckful I started to forget it wasn't about me it was so powerfully resonating with me. Haven't cried like that in a very long time. Thank you for being brave and allowing this to happen so publicly Reckful. I'm a nobody but you've always helped me and I love you for it and respect you as a man.
Never call yourself a nobody. You're somebody to YOURSELF.
Two of the highest quality hours spent in my life! Glad I watched it. Thank you so much for sharing this with people Byron. PS: 318 people downvoting such stuff... Are you crazy?
oh my god I'm going to miss this man :( he just filled my heart and having his stream on my second monitor was so cozy and his voice soothed me. :( idk I'm just rambling because there are no words keep thinking about him constantly
anytime reckful has these streams where he talks about different topics its extremely educational, wish he did more
Watched your PvP movies when playing WoW at the same time as you like many viewers. And, dealing through difficult times myself after a divorce, watching this "therapy session" really hit me deep. You were very brave of showing this and I hope you can continue on your path!
"It's the guy who missed lethal at blizzcon." ROFL
But seriously this is great for Byron.
I loled so hard at that I was like aww shit chat really? We gotta beat that dead horse?
Don't forget the 11+4's lmao
I laughed so hard
Rip
I love how he pauses after a complicated statemant to allow us to digest the thing. Thats presentation 101.
I loved seeing the docs face when he finally got a breakthrough with Reckful. Everytime he got him to come to a realization, he started smiling
This made me realize that maybe i should go see a psycologist.
I don't know if you are serious or not (though I feel like you are), just wanted to say don't downplay your problems, sometimes people think that their problems are not as big as other people are having and end up not seeking help. If you there's something bothering you or not letting you live a more fulfilling life, just talk about it. You can start trying to solve them with family or your best friends, or just go straight to see a psychologist. Because most of the problems rarely solve themselves, especially when it comes to human mind and psychology. And what's worse, problems that are left may grow to much bigger problems in the future. I learned this myself the hard way... So remeber, all problems are important, there are no problems that are too small, the sooner you get started to solve, to treat it, the better will be for you. Sorry for long comment and my bad english. Hope this helps you or someone that will read this. (I was super hesitant to leave this comment, because of thoughts that this is meaningless and no one will read this, but here we go).
@@TheEdenas It's not meaningless. Thanks for this.
@@TheEdenas What if you don't remember them or know them :thinking: well my main problem is a schedule and the system anyways.
@@Tyrvana If you can't identify the problem itself or it's hard to tell what is at fault, then you can try evaluating what are you thinking is causing you to feel bad or is causing other problems, for example: If you think your main problem is your schedule and the system, you can try to pick it up apart. Starting with schedule - you can start with answering questions what it is causing, why is it affecting you and how much and how do you feel because of it? Same with the system. You can even do it while writting, because if there's a lot of things going on your mind, that way it's easier to track your thoughts and sometimes it even helps to come up with solutions or easier to pick it apart when you see it physically written. And other option is that you can go to a psychologist, because they help you to indentify problems, to find out what's underneath them. As I said earlier, no problem is too small, because to see a psychologist you don't need to have a clear or heavy issues, because those issues become bigger and heavier as we leave them or underrate them. Even if after the visit it becomes clear that they are your main problems, then they can give advices, guide you to solving them or even if it make's it a tiniest bit better it's still good, because you are making progress and every bit helps. And if you having doubts about going to psycologist for one or other reason, the best way I can to say is that psychologists not only help to overcome serious issues, but they also help to prevent bigger issues from happening. Sometimes it may be hard to indetify or understand what is causing you to feel one way or another, but there's always a solution and there's always people and specialists that are more than willing to help you. Hope this helps you and if you have more questions I am more than happy to answer them or atleast try to help you in any way!
@@kevinlandrini6799 And thank you. This means a lot to me, it makes me feel a lot better too, knowing that maybe I helped someone, because I know how hard it can be, and it makes my life a lot brighter, when I can hope that my experience may help someone else.
RIP Reckful... this was tough to watch today. I'm really hoping your game still gets released to help all those 6 year olds that may go through the same thing you did... You're someone I looked up too and whenever you opened up about your depression I was able to relate on many levels. Sucks you're gone, but hopefully you're at peace now...
Now I know why Dr.K cried so hard after reck passed. He really tried to help him.
This video helped me look at my own situation in a different light.. it was one of the first times in a very long time I felt like I wasn't alone in what I was feeling and that other's understood. I remember telling my gf and mom about how I could relate with so much that was said in this conversation and that it really changed my outlook. Rest in peace Reck
Hey this for both of you! Reckful and Dr Kanojia. Want to know why the session was going so well and then just randomly and almost abruptly ended. Why didn’t you both continue even though you were so close to another breakthrough? ... anyone else is welcome to read along and follow. Read as much as you want if you choose, if you don’t want to continue at any point then just stop reading.
First of all to put it in your terms this was one of the most amazing acts of AOE and breakthroughs I have ever witnessed. The most ever in a single session for an individual and the way you ask questions and diffuse pressure is amazing I am inspired. You show Reckful the way to remove his debuffs again and again to which he actually achieves an awakening state over 6 times in the session (maybe more) which is amazing. For periods of like 15 seconds sometimes. This is a great milestone. I also followed the journey because it helped me break down myself.
I would like to share how I feel about your session as a new perspective hopefully shedding light on the situation and why it came to a sudden end instead of continuing like it was doing. A session like this is very likely to end sooner or later when there are only two involved. External help, karma baby. Let’s say I am doing this before myself decides to go up for air. It’s automatic as Reckful might say.
Part 2:
Personally me myself has a deep connection with Reckful as I have watched him for many years and have seen the way he has grown and I have grown as well with him. This is why the session actually helped me break free of myself pretty much everytime that he did and even I stayed inbetween sometimes. This is why Reckful you are so amazing to AOE from because you have a deep connection to so many like yourself and have attracted many who are similar to you over the years. He has kept myself and others entertained for a big part of our lives. He has distracted me from myself often when it was very depressing during my teenage years. With the best of intentions and I am grateful. Me myself has been down the path of my own of depression to the very depths so I know how much much it fucking sucks.
Reckfuls depression what is it all about?
First of all let’s start with Reckfuls self. It was established that some of the layers of his self start with the distractions, the goals, the nihilistic perspective in life on the fact that there particular no meaning or reason for anything. Not what reality is but rather a depressing perspective on it. Leading to wanting to be distracted from the depression by goals and accomplishments for himself. As you said it’s often the simplest reasons that is where it all begins (the strongest roots).
Up until the age of 5 Reckful was very happy playing with his brothers and family. Then this tragedy happened that was out of everyones control. His brother took his own life away. When it happened the debuff was activated to protect the innocent happy child Reckful from the pain of the tragedy and automatic feelings that followed instead of facing it, going through the emotions, accepting it and moving on, he became cocooned. Cacooned from a young age with nothing to fall back on. And what felt like no one to turn to. Immediately his life of goals, distractions, video games, ‘depression’ started. Like equipping this new magical chest plate armour that has +infinite armour, is really heavy to wear and has a permanent curse effect attached. Yes it fucking sucks but let’s not stop here let it happen keep going, there’s more.
Okay so this is where it the session got to and the self returned shortly after by defending itself with a deeper root.
Part 3:
Go back to the video and watch it a bit to help feel what I am about to attempt to describe.
So at around 1:21:00 - 1:23:00 minutes you beautifully illustrated the character creation stage, the ego, the self, love this.
It’s established that Reckful was incredibly lonely and hurt after his brother died. Shut himself away in his room. You protected reckful the happy innocent child that you love and want to protect so much from this wave of hurt and emotional tragedy. Let it out cry, it feels good to feel right?
It’s totally okay and don’t stop here let’s keep going there’s more..
1:23:45
“And then your other brother stayed in his room all the time”
This sentence pulled you back into your mind as you chose to protect yourself, reckful the happy innocent child that you love, from the harsh truth of reality. Hey I feel for you right now for real.
Here is a root or pointing to one.
Then Reckful says “I just realised.. I just noticed that my parents were watching this”
Notice the stuttering, the changing of sentences, the incorrect grammar as the self desperately struggles to pull you back in to protect itself from what? REALITY.
You are still that loving innocent child love deep down so love yourself and forgive.
You said it yourself “I just realised..” so oh no I need to protect from this. Myself activate!
“They are welcome to come in too”
Reckfuk responds
“They won’t”
Then you laugh historically and loudly at the realisation that yourself thinks this.
Hello again let’s stay here now yeah and keep going :))
Now for this next final stage know that the deeper roots are the more offensive they appear and the harder they are to get over. Because they are more personal to the self. And the more selfish the response from the self will be.
It helps to just read slowly with a really open mind, not going back over it with the logic of the self to change meaning.
Remember you don’t actually care about what yourself thinks. This is why you just laughed at it hysterically. For a split moment you are awareness, then back to a really quiet voice of the self. It’s quiet because it is getting weaker. You are choosing to do this be proud and loving for this fact not embarrassed of the self, that’s just identifying with it.
So basically your self believes that your parents didn’t care enough for you and didn’t help you through your loneliness as a child. As did your brother other being i his room all the time. In fact you secretly resent them for this but don’t want to admit it. Your big brother was taken away from you and it felt like you had no one to turn too. How could they do this to a happy loving child! He had no one to turn no one supported him enough, no one loved him.
Part 4:
The beauty of true forgiveness. I mean that is one of the worst things that you can ever do to a child going through suicide, they need love and support. But the reality is EVERYONE is doing the best that they can with the resources available to them. No matter how fucked up it is.
Your parents just like you and everyone else have their own roots, beliefs, problems that have been copied from others. They did the best they could to help that loving child. Reality isn’t always pretty. But accepting makes it feel a hell of a lot better.
There is no wondering why they didn’t do more to help you, to love you to heal you and to protect your brother from himself so that maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Your brother was only 16 at the time still under their care, they should have cared for him why didn’t they and they wouldn’t come on now to talk because they still don’t care. The reality is simply they do care, they did care and they were doing the best that their selves knew how to do. What people think is best is not always best. Forgiving them not only sets you free but also everyone effected.
We are nearly there let’s keep going.
Now finally
Forgive your brothers choice for real not just think you have:
1:24:06
And for the exact same reason as you forgive your parents. Your brother deserted you as a child, reckful the child who you love so much deserted him without even thinking how it would effect him. Without even caring!
He was doing the best he could with the resources available with him. He made a choice that he thought was the best choice based on his current state. It was a selfish decision because it was made by the self. Of course any decision made by the self is selfish, to be selfless you have to act from the state of no self and no thought.
When there is a lot of hate for the self some decide to end it out of desperation. It’s reality it has happened to many people it will happen so accept it, go through the emotions of it but most importantly. FORGIVE IT because anyone would have done it in his state in his selfs situation and circumstances. We are all the same in our essence.
Part 5:
Now I am actually going to talk about you Dr. Kanojia now. Even though you kept pulling Reckful back out at the end of the session you both were pulled back in and it’s very hard to be self aware of why one goes back into themselves so I’m offering a new perspective on this. That you don’t have agree with of course but you already know this.
1:46:02
“When you do phsylocybin it breaks down the barriers of the identity start to fall apart”
“When your depressed your in your own head your stuck there, your thoughts are constant, your stuck inside yourself stuck stuck stuck stuck you can’t get away” “should I eat should I not eat I I I I” this was not only meant for Reckful but for yourself as well.
What this tells a message about yourself is this specifically: The use of the word “I I I I is a sign for being stuck in the self. And most importantly the only way is just “step outside of it!”
So based on this let’s go deeper.
1:47:07
This is when Reckful inadvertently pulled you back into your thoughts.
“I’m glad you weren’t against the physolybin”. You knew he was leading back into himself here based on your half disappointing yet patient reaction. Reckful self realises also and pulls back out based on the reaction that he started laughing about himself suddenly.
But then Reckful abruptly stopped laughing half way through and went into mind and pulled you into your mind as well.
(This is a sign for Reckful needing to let go of ego completely, to be able to laugh at himself forever, which links back to what you were saying before about him wanting to think he knows a lot of stuff about everything (which may be party true) and being sure of himself, serious)
When you were pulled back in yourself started spewing faces about weed, drugs, everything. The belief that somehow yourselfs life is wasted if it’s not important to know all this knowledge, it’s the only way you will be to be able to “teach it”. When in fact “teaching” is the problem in itself, (we have to show). Working through stuff emotionally doesn’t need facts but I will go more into this in a bit.
You have spent much of this life already doing and learning facts so it’s a big idea to give up on. It’s a bit part of yourself.
When you were diving with Reckful going through his emotions notice how you always stayed clear of facts saying we can talk about it later and just kept asking questions pulling him back out. All you really needed to do was ask questions, show not teach, dig around and meditate by distracting the mind. These were the only things that actually worked in the session with reckful anyway. Knowing and being a Dr is good for getting others self to trust you and get in the door based on qualifications. It can also shut down self thought loops with counteractive knowledge and more understanding but this only leads to ego and anger. It can spread knowledge of subjects and understanding but this only helps people’s selves.
Part 6:
Simply by leading away subtly and not engaging avoids a lot of resistance and dissolved ego which is practically far more effective as you don’t get stuck. So one may ask what way do we choose to do when we take out the society beliefs that we live in today about education, money and social ranking created by the selfs of ego, but let’s get into that later and keep going.
As an observant I now saw yourself pull yourself in more by going down the ‘fact road’ that yourself uses a lot to come back (also what happened when reckful mentioned your “tick” eyeroll which lead you into the fact road of the self. Based on the belief that knowledge and understanding is important for Tantra. This is why Reckful said “you should probably get rid of that”, he wasn’t being judgemental he just wasn’t considering the best approach is to diffuse this part of yourself first and show the way without teaching and telling directly. I struggle with this so I apologise if at all this happens.
“I get asked a lot of questions about drugs. I think that. I think that. A lot of people don’t understand that”
Notice how this relates to what the previous meaning of what was said by you? I I I I, it’s about me. Thought loops. Using the word I and making it about me etc?
Now yourself wanted to defend yourself even more by confirming identity but fortunately this also in turn revealing the root of the problem:
So we have just been doing a bit of digging around yourself just like you did to Reckful now let’s take it further:
1:48:59 - watch it objectively
Now Reckful pushes your root and found it by saying “if their enjoying their life it’s okay for some people”
And you responded by saying
“No I don’t think it is” quite abruptly and quickly.
*this is the first time that you directly chose to contradict Reckfuls self throughout the whole entire session as one normally reacts to the self by diffusing the thought pattern/loop and changing the subject when this time yourself went along with it*
(Emphasis on the I THINK pattern which is showing more and more to be a sign of self)
You are literally self diagnosing yourself as you go through this. Which is one of the reasons why you want to hell others.
“I don’t think enjoyment is a meaningful life”. Here is the underlying next step down the though loop which may be the root of your belief. Enjoying ones life.
As long as your fulfilling your tantra. As long as your doing your duty to YOURSELF” (scary to see yourself in action at first I know but it’s okay let’s level up)
So what we can take from this is when yourselfs focus and only reason behind everything is this, then you have a reason to be yourself. Break free
Life is a process, joy is constant. Happiness is temporary, its goal driven, it’s cause and effect but joy continues.
To ENjoy IS to be joyful. Release the ego and realise the goal of helping everyone with tantra without enjoyment is the same as Reckfuls goal to make a video game. They are a parallel for the same reason. They exist for the self. Just because the idea of spreading tantra sounds more important and spiritually important doesn’t mean anything.
Joy. To be joyful you have TO BE joyful.
It’s a stepping stone to joy. To be is not for you to do it happens to yourself.
By the way this is what me myself struggles with a lot and many others too.
Spread love to others. Show that joy is a choice that they can choose whenever they want to do as well is the gift of spreading a joyful life. You can’t teach someone to do it. I can’t teach you to do it I can only describe it.
Joyful people show it and offer it. The joyful people of this world, look all around there are many of them and they don’t know why they just are. People of love and kindness. They work in many different jobs, often social without the intention of money. Often you meet them when travelling the world. Simple people have big hearts.
Working through problems only gets one so far, the act of healing gets one so far. Enjoying is to actually change, not the self but the perspective. Feel first, wake up first but then dance.
Tantra is the transcendence of human nature. Liberation of bound up energies. What better way is there to liberate yourself, bound up energies and transcend than by being joyful. Playful. Loving. These all different words that mean the same thing brother. They point the same way. The only way to spread this is to be. Be woke yes but enjoy as well. The way of tantra is not to go down thought loops about what someone thinks is the meaning of life, or to understand and go down though loops logically with facts about weed and drugs. Just be. Got to be true. Just love. I don’t care if it hurts, “I’m tired of lies and all these games. I’ve reached a point in life no longer can I be this way. I’m moving on, yes I’m moving on. I’m finally free.”
If you want more signs just objectively look at your facial expressions and how they start to tighten. They never do when your diving. You start to stutter as well. This never happens when out of thought. When awake. Analyse your own body language and be completely objective.
Then yourself finally wrapped it up nicely and doubled down on the belief by rationalising it with something that makes way more sense and sounds similar.
So by saying “you should have a life where you fulfill your tantra” “I don’t think living a life of pleasure is...” and Reckful subconsciously cuts you off without realising why. Notice how when woke and he’s in his self you also try to change the subject and cut off or disengage the subject of thought by breaking the thought loop. So this is your thought loop that I am observing my friend I hope you see well with this information as you so please. Play. Don’t take things so seriously. Enjoy. Spread it. Heal while playing.
Lead people to hopefully be genuinely joyful.
Let the good vibes, get a lot stronger.
I appreciate this guy isn’t just trying to push other drugs like many other psychiatrists
Not every psychiatrist pushes medication that is an overgenelarization, altough I do acknowledge the fact that they have a tendency to put medication first.
Ayurveda comes from india, its common for indian doctors not to push drugs over anything else natural.
I don't know. I would probably trust psychiatrists to know better than others the degree of effectiveness of drugs.
?? Well 1. He can’t prescribe drugs over the internet. And 2. Most psychiatrists practice talk therapy. There are levels of mental health issues, Byron has bipolar (and this isn’t discrediting his issues) but just like physical illness there are levels, and for some people they are pretty much a necessity. But this guy is no where near the only psychiatrist who does talk therapy, the majority do.
11DaltonB Well but aren‘t you talking about psychologists and not psychiatrists. Because, here in europe at least, psychiatrists basically only do prescriptions of medications and psychologists do the therapies. And from my perspective i can only confirm what this indian psychiatrist in this video was saying about western psychiatrists. They basically just fill you up with drugs like ssris etc. It‘s really bad, i swear.
It makes me happy that we've reached the level where the Dr. asks "is it ok if I swear on here?".
And the "client" replies with "Say whstever the fuck you want"
I’m so sad and I’m can only imagine how hurt his family is feeling. As a parent to have 2 of your 3 children pass away. We need to take care of our families and our friends. 💔
Rest in peace. thanks for being the person that you were you made a lot of people feel better about themselves and potentially saving lives. Thank you Bryon
I've always played videogames as an escape. I was going to do the same tonight but instead spent my night watching this. I've felt lost since I was young, and this discussion really helped me understand why I began to feel that way. It's something I never understood, and now that I do ill be able to avoid going down those "thought paths" again.
Thank you for being so open and willing to share this with people, Reckful. This helped me find some peace within myself that I've lacked for a long time.