You forgot to mention married adults in their 20s-30s who have contributed a lot and are helping their parents while living with them. Parents who struggle from heavy drinking, mental health issues and have no self control or emotional control and who try to act controlling to their adult children. How do we deal with these parents?
A little more complex, but same principles apply with regard to thinking about boundaries from perspective of self care. If I am vulnerable to being hurt (manipulated, controlled, treated with disrespect), is that something I deserve. What would taking care of myself look like? Talking it through with perhaps some professional support would help sort out issues of responsibility and personal accountability-theirs and yours. There might be alternative ways of looking at it that don't occur to you because it would rock the boat, when it could actually make sense.
@@JimSavageRecoveryI just feel like he is passively interested in recovery and acknowledges his addiction but won’t actively make choices to move ahead like go to a meeting or look into what free options there are (his insurance is shit). He also is not fully grasping the depth of his polyuse. But I feel like I am dragging him along and I set a simple boundary today that I wouldn’t give him money when he overdrafted his account and he took it as abandonment. It is disheartening to say the least.
@@buffy6673 Man, I'm sorry. It's a really tough place to be in. I know it sounds sort of cliche, or "easy for you to say", but you might take a look a couple of other videos I have here and know there's hope-for you. You can get to place of being OK-regardless of what happens with him. th-cam.com/video/FiJbJJdEtuw/w-d-xo.htmlsi=5wCFkfA45NwMyaX1
Great video Mr. Savage--very enlightening.
You forgot to mention married adults in their 20s-30s who have contributed a lot and are helping their parents while living with them. Parents who struggle from heavy drinking, mental health issues and have no self control or emotional control and who try to act controlling to their adult children. How do we deal with these parents?
A little more complex, but same principles apply with regard to thinking about boundaries from perspective of self care. If I am vulnerable to being hurt (manipulated, controlled, treated with disrespect), is that something I deserve. What would taking care of myself look like? Talking it through with perhaps some professional support would help sort out issues of responsibility and personal accountability-theirs and yours. There might be alternative ways of looking at it that don't occur to you because it would rock the boat, when it could actually make sense.
I cried during this like five times
I'm sorry. Or, maybe that's not a bad thing?
@@JimSavageRecoveryI just feel like he is passively interested in recovery and acknowledges his addiction but won’t actively make choices to move ahead like go to a meeting or look into what free options there are (his insurance is shit). He also is not fully grasping the depth of his polyuse. But I feel like I am dragging him along and I set a simple boundary today that I wouldn’t give him money when he overdrafted his account and he took it as abandonment. It is disheartening to say the least.
@@buffy6673 Man, I'm sorry. It's a really tough place to be in. I know it sounds sort of cliche, or "easy for you to say", but you might take a look a couple of other videos I have here and know there's hope-for you. You can get to place of being OK-regardless of what happens with him. th-cam.com/video/FiJbJJdEtuw/w-d-xo.htmlsi=5wCFkfA45NwMyaX1
@@JimSavageRecovery thank you! I definitely will do that!
@@buffy6673 the key in that video is towards the end where it talks about "peace of mind"