I am like the most socially anxious/awkward person and even I say hello to people, I even say hello to people walking down the street even if they don't say it first. I had no idea there were people who are like "I DONT OWE YOU A HELLO"...I'm sorry what? 😂
Girl dont even get me started on the loud speaker phone folks 😂 they do it IN THE LIBRARY TOO. I fully agree with you on these points. If people were just more conscientious the world would be better.
I am so with you on this entire, beautiful rant. I'm OVER the pissy and the petty out there! Try harder, people-- we're just trying to have a civilization here!
I was with you and putting in my two cents when you were speaking ! My poor dog was worried 😂🤣 I don’t personally understand the “I don’t get paid to say hello” mindset….…just be kind and greet your guest. Can you imagine meeting with your boss for your review and saying “for a dollar , I can start saying hello “ GET OUT OF HERE ! 😂😅…. It says a lot about who you are and your work ethic. I need us to care and be kind Love you Jess!!! Loving this series! 💛💛💛
You are so correct about all of this. The speakerphone/facetime in public with no headphones kills me too. why are people wanting everyone to know their business? if i was on the phone with someone and it was clear they were in public i would hang up on them! no way.
I feel like I'm like a few other people who commented, but I do not enjoy talking to random people and get anxious around people. HOWEVER, as a cashier, I was smiling, saying hello, and asking people how they were doing. What's crazy is half the time when people are like "hey how are you" "fine how are you" no one is really paying attention or cares anyway. It's just common courtesy. This episode had me cackling. People never cease to amaze me, crack me up, or worry me. (coming from someone else who is also chronically online without tiktok.) Also I love how this was your topic and your opening is literally "Hey. Hi. Hello." haha
Customer service millennial manager here! Hello/have a nice day is the absolute bare minimum. Do I agree with every aspect of what they teach customer service employees? Noooo, but come on people customers are the job! But I will agree that customers be out here telling me their deepest darkest secrets cause I asked them how their day is going but that just makes it interesting haha
Jess, I have no words to describe the way that this video resonates in my spirit. Pretty sure we're the same age so if you're a boomer than so am I and if that's what it is then guess what THAT'S JUST TF WHAT IT IS!!!! 1. OPEN YOUR MOUF AND SAY HELLO!!! 2. STOP TALKING ON SPEAKER...I don't want to hear ya'll conversation 3. THINK FOR YOURSELF 4. JUST DO BETTER!!!!!!
I am a teacher. I've worked customer service for years. Yes, you should say hello. I was taught when you enter the room to say hello. My students walk in. I greet them they dont say a word. I have to tell them to say good morning or Hello. When I go into stores, I say hello before the person who is checking me out. I, too, refuse to go to self check. We are in a different place in the world.
It's been a hot minute since I worked customer service, but saying "hello" is literally part of the job description. "hello, did you find everything you were looking for?" "have a nice day."
YES. THANK YOU. I was told a few years ago, by a co-worker in her mid-thirties, that courtesy is a sign of respect, and her generation doesn't give respect unless it's earned. I mentioned the social contract and basic humanity, but she blew those off. We've created sociopaths.
I work in customer service and you say hi and then you focus on the work. how can I help you today? What brought you in to the office today? Never, ever ask how someone is doing. I don't actually care and I need to keep it moving. Look, Jess you are hitting all of the things! Can we talk about the people who are on instagram and tiktock on public transit with no headphones/earbuds!? It pisses me off sooo much! I love a good rant and this was the best. thank you!
I am with you about how people should have common courtesy. I thank the server every time I get my glass of water refilled at a restaurant. Also with people being offended by opinions, I had a coworker’s husband get personally offended by me giving a book 1 star to a book he gave 5 stars. Said I have horrible tastes etc. You would have thought he wrote the book with how upset he was. Months later, he told his wife my opinions can’t be trusted. 😂. This is why I’m hesitant to mention if I didn’t like a book some loves/likes. If someone doesn’t like a book I loved, I just say that I’m sorry it didn’t work for you. It’s funny how benign opinions generate strong reactions.
You’re 100% right about how you can’t build a community if no one wants to be a community builder. Sometimes the self-care extremism is detrimental (the “I’m protecting my peace by not having to talk to randos” is just one aspect of this, there are plenty of others). There is an amount of giving that is required of every person to make a society function. I wonder if we worded it differently if we’d get a different response: “lack of community and isolating people is an easy way for the government to keep pressure on us as individuals. Think about the importance of unions, we are at our strongest when we stand together and we stand together by communicating and building relationships.” Also the idea that your boss is in a different class than you is the most laughable thing I’ve heard in ages. Yeah, in corporate jobs sure, but Bobby the assistant manager at the WalMart is making a dollar more than you girl get it together.
I completely agree with you, and i'm an autistic 35 year old. I want to know what the heck is going on o_o. I deleted my social media (twitter, instagram and tiktok) recently because I couldn't take it anymore. It just keeps getting worse. Not to mention the social media and internet addiction which i'd fallen prey to as well. I feel so much better now day to day but worried about what's happening to people. 🤣🤣I'm dying at the waffles. I ate waffles for breakfast lmao.
OMG I loved everything about this. I haven’t seen these conversations (about whether CS staff should say hi or not) but I do agree so much with everything you are saying! I have worked in CS or CS adjacent roles for 24 years and have never had someone “trauma dump” on me when I say “how are you?” Do some people give you a bit more info than you really wanted? Sure, but imo that is just part of the job.
I think it depends on what customer service you do and where you live. For instance when I moved to the PNW forever ago, I was surprised at how much people tell you of there trauma on a first meeting. Also if you work reception for a government office people will trauma dump when asked how they are doing. It maybe part of the job but it still a lot in an 8 hour day. I still say hello because I was raised right but I don't ask people how they are doing. That's tmi for me.
@@meshinda you might be right. In the UK “how are you” is generally considered as a polite form of hello rather than as an actual question. And the only acceptable answer is “good thank you, and you?”. Occasionally someone might actually tell you how they are but that is very rare.
I worked in food service for 9 years, currently have worked in retail for 7 years, and it's not hard to greet someone. Have I had greeting turn into info dumping. . . Yes, but that's the job. They are coming to you for a product, they may not know how to find it, so yes, you may learn all kinds of things about people, but after they leave, you don't have to retain the info they gave you. Move on. I don't remember the last time I went to the drive thru and they even acknowledged me except for telling me my total, throwing my food at me, and turning away from the window. I'm not asking for a conversation, it's just awkward. I will say people are also getting ruder at checkouts: on their phones, having conversations with others, it's like you don't exist. I just think we don't know how to act in social situations anymore.
I work in customer service and we get in a lot of trouble if we don't greet people (so much so that at home sometimes I will say "hi welcome" when my roommate comes into the living room unexpectedly) but the amount of people who absolutely stonewall any attempt at kindness from me while I ring them up is crazy. Wish I could one star review customers sometimes. Also I don't think enough people are aware of the amount of space they take up, whether that is standing in the doorway on their phones, or parking super close to the line, or being so rude and loud in a crowded space. It's not hard to be considerate 😭
LOVED all this conversation! We have truly come to a point where we do not know how to talk to each other and have common courtesy. Totally agree that saying hi is a bare minimum. People now take valid criticism/arguments directed at appropriate topics and just throw them everywhere. And, in doing so, invalidate those actual valid points all together. I hope that makes sense. Looking forward to your next yap! 😊❤
I used to work in customer service, I remember greeting everyone….even, the surliest of characters. Now, I don’t even know if someone in customer service has greeted me, because I usually greet them first. I was raised to greet someone when I enter someone’s space.
This just reminds me how shocked Rhyan was when people said “sorry” “excuse me” and “hello” in our midwest grocery stores when compared to the rude hell scape that is the east coast (I say this lovingly lol)
It’s reached us in the midwest too!!! And not the big metro places either, corn country. Sometimes I get so pissed as I used to work in retail/customer services and would have to put on my customer service face when I definitely didn’t want and these folks can’t be freaking bothered. I don’t know what they are teaching in those orientation these days.
The salted caramel coffee thing--that KILLS me. Basically it's the audience saying: "I don't like what you made but I want something to make me as happy as that made you. How do I achieve that?" 🤦♀️😂
I've basically become a hermit at this point because I get so much sensory overload having to hear everyone's music and FaceTime/speaker phone calls and tiktoks whenever I'm in public. Sitting in a doctor's waiting room feeling rotten and having to listen to Peppa Pig full volume from some kid's iPad, and if you try to say something you get abused. I swear it used to be an unspoken rule that if you didn't have earbuds then you didn't listen to music in public, what changed? And don't get me started on comment sections... It's like all these algorithms have trained people with showing them curated content that when they encounter something that doesn't suit them perfectly, they get offended. Like, not everything is about/for you! Anyway, I felt every word of this rant haha
When I'm a customer, if a cashier doesn't say any sort of greeting (mostly as an acknowledgement/"I'm ready to deal with you now"), I would assume they're having a bad day and try to be especially nice/understanding. (I used to work with customers in a bookstore and I know how stressful it can be)
Yeah this is wild... I also hate talking to people but I would take that any day over literally any other task I was expected to perform as minimum wage. Cleaning bathrooms? Mopping floors? Dishes? Nah I'm good with greeting people lol I also live in the south though and its weird not to greet people in most scenarios.
Yes. All of this. I was in a bad way over social media last week, and it was just Threads. And yeah, saying 'hello' is literally the bare minimum. I feel like I'm getting old. 🤣
People aren't just being trained anymore, for work, for class, for life. There's a difference between saying hello/smile for a customer facing job and then like having to be conversational to customers, or acting as their friends. It reminds me for some reason of "oh we can't even say merry christmas anymore" conversation in retail spaces... But like the opposite reasons, haha. It's just wild how things have devolved in the last five years. But yeah, agree with you as an elder millennial, so I guess I'm a boomer to lol. It's not just tiktok btw, everyone is so negative everywhere and "lazy" as you said. Or I guess, entitled? OH, edited to add. I'm wondering if the people who are saying "they don't owe you anything" actually worked a customer service job. Cause there's a big difference of 'yeah it sucks to have to be perky all day but i do it cause i need the money' understanding and people just wanting to be allies for shit they truly don't understand.
The caveat thing really annoys me because I swear 90% of the time they KNOW what you mean but have to one up you for some reason. A few days ago I went to a queer group I'm been in for almost 20 years. I mentioned "pregnant folks" instead of "pregnant women" to be inclusive, especially because I'm nonbinary and feel weird about being called a woman medically. Then someone popped up "Actually, folks implies they're human, and not all people with periods identify as human. And animals have periods too so it's speciest for you to ignore that and imply it's a human-only problem". Like... I'm all for supporting otherkin, and other adjacent identies, but be for fucking real right now!!! I'm not going to sit there and list off every non-human identity or every species on earth that menstrates when I'm just trying to get to the main point that the medical system is fucked???
When you said "What do want?" I immediately picture the meme with Tyrese-What more do you want from me!-in my head. 🤣 I've noticed the same thing. I make the effort to say hi even though I'm anxious and awkward in social settings, but the majority who aren't don't make the effort.I wouldn't even say it's the younger or the older generation-it's both. Both want respect, but don't give it in return. Jobs with direct customer contact is hard, that is why I'm always nice because I couldn't deal with it on a daily basis and know how disrespectful people can be. I recently tipped someone-I always do-and to be honest, it wasn't deserved, but it is automatic for me because I know it's hard work. The person said I should have gone to a professional or bleached my hair. Huh, that is why I booked an appointment at the salon. Being nice really doesn't seem to be valued these days.
I am one of the people who doesn't like saying hello... But I still say it anyways... Especially in a customer service setting. Sometimes when I am walking and see someone walking towards me (especially if they are older, sorry...) I will chant in my head 'please don't say hello please don't say hello I do not want to say hello my face is set and I do not want to force it into a fake smile for a stranger right now'. And then they say hello. And I say hello back. Even when I am huffing and puffing or on the verge or tears or having a full on rant in my head about how I shouldn't have to force myself to say hi to someone just to make them feel better when the thing that would make me feel better is not having to be fake. So like... I can acknowledge my thoughts are horrid and evil and backwards and negative and force myself to be nice anyways... BUT also when I was working in customer service, if I didn't say hello with a bright enough tone, or slap on a giant smile, or start asking people about their day, I would get complaints about my attitude and how I need to be more more friendly or how I'd be prettier if I smiled. And that shit, that isn't okay. That is what made my mindset of 'I don't owe you anything' in the first place.
I think the least we owe each other is kindness and decency. It costs nothing to be kind. 😞 A “hello” or a small smile is not difficult or painful. Especially if you’re public facing. I am sorry, that’s just part of the job. It’s nothing to do with respect or emotional labor. Everyone has bad days and when I notice a cashier or an employee not smiling or being engaging, I just ignore it. It happens! But overall, I do think we all owe each other courtesy. Lining up politely, letting people off the elevator, using a turn signal, and just holding the door or saying hello. 🙁
I don’t expect much but at least say ‘hi’ to me when I get to the counter. I once asked a girl if she had a problem when I was trying to pay for my food. She stood there talking about gossip with her coworker while I waiting for her to ring me up for 5 mins. Then she turns to me and rolls her eyes and tells me the price. I immediately was like ‘oh hell no’. 😂
When the cashier doesn't greet me, I'm secretly happy 😅. But part of me also thinks: How rude! (In my Stephanie Tanner voice). They must be mentally preoccupied or just having a moment
I'm always astounded by the level of entitlement I see online. I have so far refused to get TikTok (as I already have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Reddit and I can't fully quit any of them but I hate how much time they sap) but I still see those demanding comments everywhere. It's mental to me how often I see a creator list their clothing or makeup etc. in the description box of their post, only to see that every other comment is demanding the answers that were already given if they'd bothered to read. I feel like people just expect everything to be done for them instead of being able to be self-sufficient, and I feel like the alternative doesn't even occur to them.
I'm Canadian, so not saying hi is almost a chargeable offense here. 😋 I spit my coffee out at the waffles comment, it had me dying! Warn a girl before you come out with gold like that! 😂 Any time I see it hear people like that, my first response is "I know this will shock you, but surprisingly, not everything is about you boo-boo." Lol
I don't know how it is around the rest of the world, but I've noticed a lot of young people don't know how to say Thank You. Is it not part of common decent vocabulary anymore to say thanks when someone goes out of their way to do something for you. Like, what values do parents teach now where you don't explain to your kid "hey, don't forget to say thank you!". You're welcome. ps: Boomer loud and proud here
OMG, people watching their TikTok videos or listening to music in public spaces without earbuds or headphones? My biggest peeve these days. I'm in waiting rooms and having to listen to people's phones... Or, yes, even to their phone conversations! One lady was having a speaker phone conversation in the dentist office waiting room, all about the cruise she was planning? Ma'am, I do not want or need to know your business.
People just make excuses not to be polite. Being nice and police is common sense and younger people are obviously lacking in that area. And all of that just to not say hello.
I think people don't use common courtesy in general, which is the 1st problem. Retail jobs are hard and thankless. HOWEVER, you are getting PAID TO DO THE JOB, and it might require you to smile, be nice, or ask if they want to apply for a credit card. If you don't want to, then get a job where you don't have to. It's not that big of a deal. As a person who has worked most of their life in retail from front line to management if you are nice to people... they are typically nice back. I'm just saying. 🙃
I work in a cafe and say hi to everyone but i have been the receiving end of very entitled/rude customers who wont even look my direction when they enter, maybe its bc im black and i work in a very wonder bread neighborhood (i live in LA too). I will say this, employee moral is completely dictated by the higher ups and people have a very skewed view on how customer service is "supposed to act" as if we're robots or something. We're living in a time where we work more for less, barely making ends meet, the internet for better and worse, mental health being taken seriously, kids are basically raising themselves at this point, and people are stuck at a job bc the job market is a scam. With all that being said, being nice is free and greeting someone doesnt have to be earned (?). Ive been to coffee shops and wasnt greeted or was just ignored and it doesnt feel good so I make sure to always greet my customers even when im upset. (I also have been trauma dumped on to the point that the customer was crying and trying to convert me back to the slums of Christianity 😭)
girl the comments under posts like that aren't even unique to social media. EVERY! TIME! I'm looking up recipes on almost ANY site, there are people in the comments going "I don't like/can't eat [THE MAIN INGREDIENT] of this, what can I use instead??" like Y'ALLLLLLL I don't know when the kids started regressing to being unable to look up basic information, why are Gen X and Millenials the ONLY people who apparently know how to find answers to their own questions???
Look, I'm socially awkward, I hate small talks, I'm very introverted, a complete homebody and have social anxiety without a single doubt. YET! I always say hello, thank you and try to be at the very least polite. If I can do that, everyone should be able to do it too. I'm not even asking for a smile.
hahha the caveats part is so relatable maybe i am a boomer 😭 i got shouted at for sharing opinions in a recap because apparently that wasnt allowed because it meant i offended SO MANY PEOPLE (but who actually likes Brennan from FW lbr....)
Oh lordy, Jess took us to CHURCH and I was LOVING it!!!! I don't think you're a boomer at all but I do think it's a generational thing about people skills! Have you been through a drive thru with these young kids at the speaker that have NO idea how to talk to people?! It's insane....and phone skills! Anyone under 25 cannot figure out how to make a damn phonecall to a business.... y'all need to teach your kids how to talk to strangers! I know COVID screwed up social skills, but DAMN....and yes, youngins....you do owe others common decency.
YES!!! I seen that TikTok and was screaming like WTF is wrong with people, I don’t like people either but we are all stuck on this rock together might as well try to be courteous. Don’t even get me started on the over offended BS people blow up with when you say you like/dislike something. Get over yourself Karen it’s ok to have different opinions it doesn’t mean I wish death on your whole family 🙄
First: Are you on r/ididnthaveeggs? Because i feel like this is a subreddit you might enjoy. I feel like all of this is a direct result of the lack of third spaces. People aren't forced to just interact with complete strangers on the day-to-day anymore, and they don't know how anymore. You order on an app and don't interact with a person, there's no public spaces where you might just have to casually encounter people, the art of small talk is dying. It makes me wonder if people are now confusing regular responses to How Are You as trauma dumping because someone said "it's going", "still here", and the like instead of just understanding that this is how the social interaction goes. Also whenever someone asks what do we owe each other i want to yell at them to go watch The Good Place. Because the answer is right there. 😂
Karen or Boomer fits this mentality. Why should anyone care about a corporation that doesn't care for them let alone some stranger they'll never see again. Be nice to others without the assumption they should be nice back.
I’m gen-z lol but I agree that you should say hello to people in customer facing jobs. To be honest, I think right now everyone is just miserable as shit because of the state of the world so they’re just meaner and overall not in the mood to “pretend” right now if that makes sense. Also Covid really changed peoples social skills in my opinion.
I question if I've crossed over into Boomer status alllll the time. Like what do you mean it's costing you emotional labor to say hello to someone who said hello to you first??? Nobody expects a full conversation from exchanging pleasantries, so just say hello!
Emotional labour? Ma'am that's customer service! We really need to take the mics away from the podcast bros and the therapy-speak from the "culture war" discourse! Until we do, we will know no peace and achieve no progress as a society. 😂 Edit: I expected "you guys are being ableist", I didnt expect "you guys are being classist". Lmao. The absurdity of cyclical online discourse stays undefeated! 😭
I will never understand why people pick customer service jobs but then act like your inconveniencing them by asking them to do their job and help you 😭
![YAPPICA 01: A PODCAST? Tired of Reading, Fall TV, Making Friends As An Adult [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UeXHmDU43x4/mqdefault.jpg)
The funniest thing about the recipe comments is when people say “I changed 10 ingredients why didn’t it work for meeee?”
I am like the most socially anxious/awkward person and even I say hello to people, I even say hello to people walking down the street even if they don't say it first. I had no idea there were people who are like "I DONT OWE YOU A HELLO"...I'm sorry what? 😂
It's truly mind-boggling!
They’ve truly lost the plot
Girl dont even get me started on the loud speaker phone folks 😂 they do it IN THE LIBRARY TOO. I fully agree with you on these points. If people were just more conscientious the world would be better.
I’m dead at “‘I dont like waffles’ ‘so you want me grandma to die she loves waffles’ 😂😂😂
basically how convos go these days LOL
I am so with you on this entire, beautiful rant. I'm OVER the pissy and the petty out there! Try harder, people-- we're just trying to have a civilization here!
Like how are we ever to come together if we can’t just say hello???
I was with you and putting in my two cents when you were speaking ! My poor dog was worried 😂🤣 I don’t personally understand the “I don’t get paid to say hello” mindset….…just be kind and greet your guest. Can you imagine meeting with your boss for your review and saying “for a dollar , I can start saying hello “ GET OUT OF HERE ! 😂😅…. It says a lot about who you are and your work ethic. I need us to care and be kind Love you Jess!!! Loving this series! 💛💛💛
You are so correct about all of this. The speakerphone/facetime in public with no headphones kills me too. why are people wanting everyone to know their business? if i was on the phone with someone and it was clear they were in public i would hang up on them! no way.
I feel like I'm like a few other people who commented, but I do not enjoy talking to random people and get anxious around people. HOWEVER, as a cashier, I was smiling, saying hello, and asking people how they were doing. What's crazy is half the time when people are like "hey how are you" "fine how are you" no one is really paying attention or cares anyway. It's just common courtesy.
This episode had me cackling. People never cease to amaze me, crack me up, or worry me. (coming from someone else who is also chronically online without tiktok.) Also I love how this was your topic and your opening is literally "Hey. Hi. Hello." haha
Customer service millennial manager here! Hello/have a nice day is the absolute bare minimum. Do I agree with every aspect of what they teach customer service employees? Noooo, but come on people customers are the job! But I will agree that customers be out here telling me their deepest darkest secrets cause I asked them how their day is going but that just makes it interesting haha
Um no when you work in customer service you are supposed to greet people. That’s part of the job
HELLO! THE BARE MINIMNUM!
Jess, I have no words to describe the way that this video resonates in my spirit. Pretty sure we're the same age so if you're a boomer than so am I and if that's what it is then guess what THAT'S JUST TF WHAT IT IS!!!!
1. OPEN YOUR MOUF AND SAY HELLO!!!
2. STOP TALKING ON SPEAKER...I don't want to hear ya'll conversation
3. THINK FOR YOURSELF
4. JUST DO BETTER!!!!!!
I am a teacher. I've worked customer service for years. Yes, you should say hello. I was taught when you enter the room to say hello. My students walk in. I greet them they dont say a word. I have to tell them to say good morning or Hello. When I go into stores, I say hello before the person who is checking me out. I, too, refuse to go to self check. We are in a different place in the world.
My mama always said you walk into a home, a space, a business, you say hello
It's been a hot minute since I worked customer service, but saying "hello" is literally part of the job description. "hello, did you find everything you were looking for?" "have a nice day."
YES. THANK YOU. I was told a few years ago, by a co-worker in her mid-thirties, that courtesy is a sign of respect, and her generation doesn't give respect unless it's earned. I mentioned the social contract and basic humanity, but she blew those off. We've created sociopaths.
I work in customer service and you say hi and then you focus on the work. how can I help you today? What brought you in to the office today? Never, ever ask how someone is doing. I don't actually care and I need to keep it moving. Look, Jess you are hitting all of the things! Can we talk about the people who are on instagram and tiktock on public transit with no headphones/earbuds!? It pisses me off sooo much! I love a good rant and this was the best. thank you!
It doesn't make sense in the year of our lord 2024 to not have HEADPHONES OR EARBUDS!!! Stop blasting your personal conversations to everyone!
I am with you about how people should have common courtesy. I thank the server every time I get my glass of water refilled at a restaurant.
Also with people being offended by opinions, I had a coworker’s husband get personally offended by me giving a book 1 star to a book he gave 5 stars. Said I have horrible tastes etc. You would have thought he wrote the book with how upset he was. Months later, he told his wife my opinions can’t be trusted. 😂. This is why I’m hesitant to mention if I didn’t like a book some loves/likes. If someone doesn’t like a book I loved, I just say that I’m sorry it didn’t work for you. It’s funny how benign opinions generate strong reactions.
You’re 100% right about how you can’t build a community if no one wants to be a community builder. Sometimes the self-care extremism is detrimental (the “I’m protecting my peace by not having to talk to randos” is just one aspect of this, there are plenty of others). There is an amount of giving that is required of every person to make a society function. I wonder if we worded it differently if we’d get a different response: “lack of community and isolating people is an easy way for the government to keep pressure on us as individuals. Think about the importance of unions, we are at our strongest when we stand together and we stand together by communicating and building relationships.”
Also the idea that your boss is in a different class than you is the most laughable thing I’ve heard in ages. Yeah, in corporate jobs sure, but Bobby the assistant manager at the WalMart is making a dollar more than you girl get it together.
My boomer trait is talking about the bland and simple topic of weather. A go to if the moment calls for small talk
Classic and safe
I completely agree with you, and i'm an autistic 35 year old. I want to know what the heck is going on o_o. I deleted my social media (twitter, instagram and tiktok) recently because I couldn't take it anymore. It just keeps getting worse. Not to mention the social media and internet addiction which i'd fallen prey to as well. I feel so much better now day to day but worried about what's happening to people.
🤣🤣I'm dying at the waffles. I ate waffles for breakfast lmao.
Waffle supremacy!
OMG I loved everything about this. I haven’t seen these conversations (about whether CS staff should say hi or not) but I do agree so much with everything you are saying!
I have worked in CS or CS adjacent roles for 24 years and have never had someone “trauma dump” on me when I say “how are you?” Do some people give you a bit more info than you really wanted? Sure, but imo that is just part of the job.
I think it depends on what customer service you do and where you live. For instance when I moved to the PNW forever ago, I was surprised at how much people tell you of there trauma on a first meeting. Also if you work reception for a government office people will trauma dump when asked how they are doing. It maybe part of the job but it still a lot in an 8 hour day. I still say hello because I was raised right but I don't ask people how they are doing. That's tmi for me.
@@meshinda you might be right. In the UK “how are you” is generally considered as a polite form of hello rather than as an actual question. And the only acceptable answer is “good thank you, and you?”. Occasionally someone might actually tell you how they are but that is very rare.
“We don’t get paid enough to do emotional labor” *cries in therapist, whose entire job is emotional labor*
Also no one “owes” anyone anything, but many things are just nice
Your skin is glowing and your Afro Puffs are cute. ☺
I worked in food service for 9 years, currently have worked in retail for 7 years, and it's not hard to greet someone. Have I had greeting turn into info dumping. . . Yes, but that's the job. They are coming to you for a product, they may not know how to find it, so yes, you may learn all kinds of things about people, but after they leave, you don't have to retain the info they gave you. Move on. I don't remember the last time I went to the drive thru and they even acknowledged me except for telling me my total, throwing my food at me, and turning away from the window. I'm not asking for a conversation, it's just awkward. I will say people are also getting ruder at checkouts: on their phones, having conversations with others, it's like you don't exist. I just think we don't know how to act in social situations anymore.
I work in customer service and we get in a lot of trouble if we don't greet people (so much so that at home sometimes I will say "hi welcome" when my roommate comes into the living room unexpectedly) but the amount of people who absolutely stonewall any attempt at kindness from me while I ring them up is crazy. Wish I could one star review customers sometimes.
Also I don't think enough people are aware of the amount of space they take up, whether that is standing in the doorway on their phones, or parking super close to the line, or being so rude and loud in a crowded space. It's not hard to be considerate 😭
LOVED all this conversation!
We have truly come to a point where we do not know how to talk to each other and have common courtesy.
Totally agree that saying hi is a bare minimum. People now take valid criticism/arguments directed at appropriate topics and just throw them everywhere. And, in doing so, invalidate those actual valid points all together.
I hope that makes sense.
Looking forward to your next yap! 😊❤
I used to work in customer service, I remember greeting everyone….even, the surliest of characters. Now, I don’t even know if someone in customer service has greeted me, because I usually greet them first. I was raised to greet someone when I enter someone’s space.
Yes! Same! When you enter someone’s space, I was always told to speak!
This just reminds me how shocked Rhyan was when people said “sorry” “excuse me” and “hello” in our midwest grocery stores when compared to the rude hell scape that is the east coast (I say this lovingly lol)
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It’s reached us in the midwest too!!! And not the big metro places either, corn country. Sometimes I get so pissed as I used to work in retail/customer services and would have to put on my customer service face when I definitely didn’t want and these folks can’t be freaking bothered. I don’t know what they are teaching in those orientation these days.
The salted caramel coffee thing--that KILLS me. Basically it's the audience saying: "I don't like what you made but I want something to make me as happy as that made you. How do I achieve that?" 🤦♀️😂
LITERALLY. I get so angry. It’s like her entire account is making coffee, why are you here if you only drink tea???
I've basically become a hermit at this point because I get so much sensory overload having to hear everyone's music and FaceTime/speaker phone calls and tiktoks whenever I'm in public. Sitting in a doctor's waiting room feeling rotten and having to listen to Peppa Pig full volume from some kid's iPad, and if you try to say something you get abused.
I swear it used to be an unspoken rule that if you didn't have earbuds then you didn't listen to music in public, what changed?
And don't get me started on comment sections... It's like all these algorithms have trained people with showing them curated content that when they encounter something that doesn't suit them perfectly, they get offended. Like, not everything is about/for you!
Anyway, I felt every word of this rant haha
The take FOR YOU PAGE super literal and are mad when every single video doesn’t cater to their exact desires. UGH
When I'm a customer, if a cashier doesn't say any sort of greeting (mostly as an acknowledgement/"I'm ready to deal with you now"), I would assume they're having a bad day and try to be especially nice/understanding. (I used to work with customers in a bookstore and I know how stressful it can be)
Yeah, commom courtesy is definitely dying a death. I'm not a people person in any way 😂 but manners cost absolutely nothing.
Yeah this is wild... I also hate talking to people but I would take that any day over literally any other task I was expected to perform as minimum wage. Cleaning bathrooms? Mopping floors? Dishes? Nah I'm good with greeting people lol
I also live in the south though and its weird not to greet people in most scenarios.
I wish we lived closer. I would totally go to Pilates with you!
I LOVE THESE!!
Yes. All of this. I was in a bad way over social media last week, and it was just Threads. And yeah, saying 'hello' is literally the bare minimum. I feel like I'm getting old. 🤣
Im here for these logical rants! Keep 'em coming.
People aren't just being trained anymore, for work, for class, for life. There's a difference between saying hello/smile for a customer facing job and then like having to be conversational to customers, or acting as their friends. It reminds me for some reason of "oh we can't even say merry christmas anymore" conversation in retail spaces... But like the opposite reasons, haha. It's just wild how things have devolved in the last five years. But yeah, agree with you as an elder millennial, so I guess I'm a boomer to lol. It's not just tiktok btw, everyone is so negative everywhere and "lazy" as you said. Or I guess, entitled?
OH, edited to add. I'm wondering if the people who are saying "they don't owe you anything" actually worked a customer service job. Cause there's a big difference of 'yeah it sucks to have to be perky all day but i do it cause i need the money' understanding and people just wanting to be allies for shit they truly don't understand.
The caveat thing really annoys me because I swear 90% of the time they KNOW what you mean but have to one up you for some reason. A few days ago I went to a queer group I'm been in for almost 20 years. I mentioned "pregnant folks" instead of "pregnant women" to be inclusive, especially because I'm nonbinary and feel weird about being called a woman medically. Then someone popped up "Actually, folks implies they're human, and not all people with periods identify as human. And animals have periods too so it's speciest for you to ignore that and imply it's a human-only problem". Like... I'm all for supporting otherkin, and other adjacent identies, but be for fucking real right now!!! I'm not going to sit there and list off every non-human identity or every species on earth that menstrates when I'm just trying to get to the main point that the medical system is fucked???
Oh. My. God. I would lose it
When you said "What do want?" I immediately picture the meme with Tyrese-What more do you want from me!-in my head. 🤣
I've noticed the same thing. I make the effort to say hi even though I'm anxious and awkward in social settings, but the majority who aren't don't make the effort.I wouldn't even say it's the younger or the older generation-it's both. Both want respect, but don't give it in return.
Jobs with direct customer contact is hard, that is why I'm always nice because I couldn't deal with it on a daily basis and know how disrespectful people can be. I recently tipped someone-I always do-and to be honest, it wasn't deserved, but it is automatic for me because I know it's hard work. The person said I should have gone to a professional or bleached my hair. Huh, that is why I booked an appointment at the salon. Being nice really doesn't seem to be valued these days.
LMAO THAT TYRESE VIDEO LIVES RENT FREEEEE
I am one of the people who doesn't like saying hello... But I still say it anyways... Especially in a customer service setting. Sometimes when I am walking and see someone walking towards me (especially if they are older, sorry...) I will chant in my head 'please don't say hello please don't say hello I do not want to say hello my face is set and I do not want to force it into a fake smile for a stranger right now'. And then they say hello. And I say hello back. Even when I am huffing and puffing or on the verge or tears or having a full on rant in my head about how I shouldn't have to force myself to say hi to someone just to make them feel better when the thing that would make me feel better is not having to be fake. So like... I can acknowledge my thoughts are horrid and evil and backwards and negative and force myself to be nice anyways...
BUT also when I was working in customer service, if I didn't say hello with a bright enough tone, or slap on a giant smile, or start asking people about their day, I would get complaints about my attitude and how I need to be more more friendly or how I'd be prettier if I smiled. And that shit, that isn't okay. That is what made my mindset of 'I don't owe you anything' in the first place.
I think the least we owe each other is kindness and decency. It costs nothing to be kind. 😞 A “hello” or a small smile is not difficult or painful. Especially if you’re public facing. I am sorry, that’s just part of the job. It’s nothing to do with respect or emotional labor. Everyone has bad days and when I notice a cashier or an employee not smiling or being engaging, I just ignore it. It happens! But overall, I do think we all owe each other courtesy. Lining up politely, letting people off the elevator, using a turn signal, and just holding the door or saying hello. 🙁
I don’t expect much but at least say ‘hi’ to me when I get to the counter. I once asked a girl if she had a problem when I was trying to pay for my food. She stood there talking about gossip with her coworker while I waiting for her to ring me up for 5 mins. Then she turns to me and rolls her eyes and tells me the price. I immediately was like ‘oh hell no’. 😂
100% agree with everything you said (and the hilarious way you said it)!
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When the cashier doesn't greet me, I'm secretly happy 😅. But part of me also thinks: How rude! (In my Stephanie Tanner voice). They must be mentally preoccupied or just having a moment
Not Stephanie Tanner voice 😹
Just wanting to say that i am loving these videos. Okay, bye. ❤
Thank yewww🥰
I'm always astounded by the level of entitlement I see online. I have so far refused to get TikTok (as I already have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Reddit and I can't fully quit any of them but I hate how much time they sap) but I still see those demanding comments everywhere. It's mental to me how often I see a creator list their clothing or makeup etc. in the description box of their post, only to see that every other comment is demanding the answers that were already given if they'd bothered to read. I feel like people just expect everything to be done for them instead of being able to be self-sufficient, and I feel like the alternative doesn't even occur to them.
One of my professors sending google url to anyone asking simple questions, it was funny then and it's funnier now remembering that 🤣
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I'm Canadian, so not saying hi is almost a chargeable offense here. 😋
I spit my coffee out at the waffles comment, it had me dying! Warn a girl before you come out with gold like that! 😂 Any time I see it hear people like that, my first response is "I know this will shock you, but surprisingly, not everything is about you boo-boo." Lol
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I don't know how it is around the rest of the world, but I've noticed a lot of young people don't know how to say Thank You. Is it not part of common decent vocabulary anymore to say thanks when someone goes out of their way to do something for you. Like, what values do parents teach now where you don't explain to your kid "hey, don't forget to say thank you!". You're welcome.
ps: Boomer loud and proud here
OMG, people watching their TikTok videos or listening to music in public spaces without earbuds or headphones? My biggest peeve these days. I'm in waiting rooms and having to listen to people's phones... Or, yes, even to their phone conversations! One lady was having a speaker phone conversation in the dentist office waiting room, all about the cruise she was planning? Ma'am, I do not want or need to know your business.
I don’t understand how people aren’t embarrassed!
Hiiii Jessica!!!!
👋🏾 👋🏾
When I was a cashier I always said hello. Or that time of day like morning or afternoon extra
Though I do now work deli, sometimes I don't say hi lol
People just make excuses not to be polite. Being nice and police is common sense and younger people are obviously lacking in that area. And all of that just to not say hello.
I think people don't use common courtesy in general, which is the 1st problem. Retail jobs are hard and thankless. HOWEVER, you are getting PAID TO DO THE JOB, and it might require you to smile, be nice, or ask if they want to apply for a credit card. If you don't want to, then get a job where you don't have to. It's not that big of a deal. As a person who has worked most of their life in retail from front line to management if you are nice to people... they are typically nice back. I'm just saying. 🙃
I’m so a boomer. Not even embarrassed to admit it.
I work in a cafe and say hi to everyone but i have been the receiving end of very entitled/rude customers who wont even look my direction when they enter, maybe its bc im black and i work in a very wonder bread neighborhood (i live in LA too). I will say this, employee moral is completely dictated by the higher ups and people have a very skewed view on how customer service is "supposed to act" as if we're robots or something. We're living in a time where we work more for less, barely making ends meet, the internet for better and worse, mental health being taken seriously, kids are basically raising themselves at this point, and people are stuck at a job bc the job market is a scam. With all that being said, being nice is free and greeting someone doesnt have to be earned (?). Ive been to coffee shops and wasnt greeted or was just ignored and it doesnt feel good so I make sure to always greet my customers even when im upset. (I also have been trauma dumped on to the point that the customer was crying and trying to convert me back to the slums of Christianity 😭)
girl the comments under posts like that aren't even unique to social media. EVERY! TIME! I'm looking up recipes on almost ANY site, there are people in the comments going "I don't like/can't eat [THE MAIN INGREDIENT] of this, what can I use instead??" like Y'ALLLLLLL
I don't know when the kids started regressing to being unable to look up basic information, why are Gen X and Millenials the ONLY people who apparently know how to find answers to their own questions???
Hi Jess 👋🏾
Look, I'm socially awkward, I hate small talks, I'm very introverted, a complete homebody and have social anxiety without a single doubt. YET! I always say hello, thank you and try to be at the very least polite. If I can do that, everyone should be able to do it too. I'm not even asking for a smile.
Right!!!
hahha the caveats part is so relatable maybe i am a boomer 😭 i got shouted at for sharing opinions in a recap because apparently that wasnt allowed because it meant i offended SO MANY PEOPLE (but who actually likes Brennan from FW lbr....)
Not “am I boomer” and then the yelling at the nephew for living his best life!
is he living his best life or is he harming himself?!?!?!
My pet peeve if they’re on their personal cell phone while working !
Oh lordy, Jess took us to CHURCH and I was LOVING it!!!! I don't think you're a boomer at all but I do think it's a generational thing about people skills! Have you been through a drive thru with these young kids at the speaker that have NO idea how to talk to people?! It's insane....and phone skills! Anyone under 25 cannot figure out how to make a damn phonecall to a business.... y'all need to teach your kids how to talk to strangers! I know COVID screwed up social skills, but DAMN....and yes, youngins....you do owe others common decency.
Drive throughs are such a miserable experience these days 😫
YES!!! I seen that TikTok and was screaming like WTF is wrong with people, I don’t like people either but we are all stuck on this rock together might as well try to be courteous.
Don’t even get me started on the over offended BS people blow up with when you say you like/dislike something. Get over yourself Karen it’s ok to have different opinions it doesn’t mean I wish death on your whole family 🙄
I live in Austin.
If we were close to each other , we would get along. 😂
I wish we were closer!
First: Are you on r/ididnthaveeggs? Because i feel like this is a subreddit you might enjoy.
I feel like all of this is a direct result of the lack of third spaces. People aren't forced to just interact with complete strangers on the day-to-day anymore, and they don't know how anymore. You order on an app and don't interact with a person, there's no public spaces where you might just have to casually encounter people, the art of small talk is dying. It makes me wonder if people are now confusing regular responses to How Are You as trauma dumping because someone said "it's going", "still here", and the like instead of just understanding that this is how the social interaction goes.
Also whenever someone asks what do we owe each other i want to yell at them to go watch The Good Place. Because the answer is right there. 😂
YESSS THE GOOD PLACE!!!! Elite. I need a rewatch. I am not on that subreddit but I’m gonna check it out!
Karen or Boomer fits this mentality. Why should anyone care about a corporation that doesn't care for them let alone some stranger they'll never see again. Be nice to others without the assumption they should be nice back.
I’m gen-z lol but I agree that you should say hello to people in customer facing jobs. To be honest, I think right now everyone is just miserable as shit because of the state of the world so they’re just meaner and overall not in the mood to “pretend” right now if that makes sense. Also Covid really changed peoples social skills in my opinion.
The shift after 2020 is too real and sad
I question if I've crossed over into Boomer status alllll the time. Like what do you mean it's costing you emotional labor to say hello to someone who said hello to you first??? Nobody expects a full conversation from exchanging pleasantries, so just say hello!
Emotional labour? Ma'am that's customer service! We really need to take the mics away from the podcast bros and the therapy-speak from the "culture war" discourse! Until we do, we will know no peace and achieve no progress as a society.
😂
Edit: I expected "you guys are being ableist", I didnt expect "you guys are being classist". Lmao. The absurdity of cyclical online discourse stays undefeated!
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The foolishness is too real!
I will never understand why people pick customer service jobs but then act like your inconveniencing them by asking them to do their job and help you 😭