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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Attention, admiration, compliments and praise. Getting other people to buy into their delusions of grandeur. It makes them feel better about themselves and suppressed their feelings of inadequacy.
Yes, feeding the inner child that only wants love.
But there Will be Never enough Love to heal the wounds of an unloved or golden Child, i think!
Tried This so hard in Family with my GoldChild Brothers, with in childhood mistreated husband and my latest Partner who Wanted me to „Teach him to love and being Free from adiction“ !
the love i gave was used against me by Telling me that i am the one to blame.
🤪😝
@mountain blue Yes, My cruel Ex absolutely loves to argue about his views! (mostly political) He is extremely rude!
I have a buddy I have been getting to know but the selfies are so frequent that it's bizarre and a turn off. Can severe codependency cause excessive validation seeking as well?
@@Zev4U agreed. When I try to have an intellectual conversation anout politics I am privately bullied for my political views.
Almost a million subscribers Dr. Ramani. I bet you never imagined it going this far. I hope you know how much of a light you are in a dark world. Thank you for your life's work.
I second this. Your work has helped me alot doctor Ramani. : )thank you
Much agreed, thank you 😊
"they communicate with their partner publicly on social media when *one would assume,* if they're in a relationship, they could talk to each other directly" i laughed out loud
Or through texting 💬 😂 in the same house! It was so frustrating for me … I would sit @ the table & try to talk like an adult. Could pour me ❤️ out literally & would text me later . Coward couldn’t tell me to my face more less show any emotion
Yup. I blocked my hubby who I still live with who never utters one world to me literally not one word. But boy did he have a fit when he couldn’t see my social media. It was so much fuel for him to come at me with I had to have something for myself. He stalked all my girlfriends etc. I’m like hello we live together who cares anyway. 😹
@@SpIcYMoReNa I have exactly the same thing. I get half screen texts one after the other and sometimes important information is in the rants but I miss it because of the volume of them. The other thing is this drives me nuts because text loses too many conversational nuisances. But my Narcissist knows I hate it and persists just to upset me. Text us for short quick messages not a substitute for verbal discussion.
Yep, I always found this so
cringey!
Weird! 👀
Dr. Ramani with her beauty, brains, humility and side of subtle but but perfectly unexpected savage shade is everything I aspire to be today and every day 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Amen!!!
I love this WOMAN...
Unexpected savage shade🤣❤
@@latinaherbert8759 I especially liked, "I give them a pass just on the bases of an underdeveloped frontal lobe".
@@stephena1196 wowwwww me too...then the tone she takes is so matter of factlly
What threw me off about her social media use was the ACT: kindness, altruism, something that looked like genuine interest in people, seemingly thoughtful & empathic, acting supportive, giving compliments (to everyone else),...all of that and more in public posts/comments. She got a lot of positive feedback and praise in return. That made my head spin because our relationship was quite different... "Hey look how nice I am and everyone but you agrees!" 🤯
It's so hard when you're the only one who knows the truth and they use social media as Flying Monkeys.
all of the social and professional profiles of my soon to be ex is full of what he is not 😂 and I could only get that after several anxiety attacks and finally forming PTSD 😂😂
I always understood people being selfish but i never understood people who were full of themselves but if its narcissism it makes sense
@@myc88 everyone always thought ted bundy was a nice looking mild mannered man people are easily fooled
I feel like anyone who needs to broadcast their altruism is not acting out of altruism. Being able to do something for another human without receiving anything back and not having to tell a single soul about it to receive praise is true altruism.
My sister in law (a narcissist) trained her children, beginning when they were very young, to smile automatically when a camera appeared. And cameras always appeared. Proof, these photos seemed to say, that theirs was an ideal and charming family. To me it was awful, all fake, all the time. And today, people in general seem to have that same unwritten rule book of common poses with humorous antic to use when in front of a camera. Ironically this is the most offensive ways of communicating, it's all fake, fabricated, hiding whatever might be genuine. But it did seem also to be shaming of the normal viewers of the photos, who could never compete with that level of ideal happy and charming, and faux spontaneity, be it fake or real.
Yes! It's all fake.
IMO the photos are designed to trigger any insecurities the viewer has. And IMO we all have some insecurities. It'd be good if there were more photos of people who are emotionally secure living out good lives as models for living, but such photos seem to be far outnumbered by photos of the insecure trying to trigger insecurities.
It’s so important to set healthy boundaries with social media. Removing or if you aren’t ready for that, muting unsavory folk makes a huge difference. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that social media is like a digital window into your life. Be careful who you give access just like you would your physical house.
So true. For me social media is predominantly a source of good entertainment when there is nothing on tv.
I mentioned that same sentiment to “him” several years ago about how I use Facebook. It’s just like someone looking into the windows of your home. How creepy is that? I only want the people I know who have my best interest in mind doing that. He’d say and do anything that was opposite of what I did and said. “That’s just not how I see my Facebook” “sorry, but it’s not that serious for me”. In the meantime, he was cheating using Messenger for his stalking tool of choice, and was posting all this “Fred Said” crap and trying to be all philosophical and poignant. Getting likes and accolades and supplied in abundance. I was being supportive and blind, unaware of the monster is actually was behind the scenes. He sent lewd photos of himself on Messenger… the whole ball of wax. I’m going to stop here. He did everything in the book.
Period.
I don’t do Facebook, Twitter or Instagram however I do way too much TH-cam watching.
No not because I want my own channel, because I have learned so many helpful things.
Me too.
imagine all the pop stars and actors who become famous as teenagers. how hard it must be top develop healthily. surrounded by either extreme validation and/or extreme hate
Usually teenagers don't become famous by accident
Yes training and personal development for them should be made compulsory
This is literally my co-worker and his wife social media. Funny enough, his wife is my age and he's my ex-narc's age and 14 years older than her/me, so I'm familiar with their toxic dynamic. I have seen through him a long time ago. He became especially "aware" of me and started building a friendship with me at work when I published my book on narcissistic abuse and went public with my story. Suddenly, he was like obsessed and wanted to know everything about it. He was and is waving the red flags pretty high, but he's so charming, everybody loves him. I just do my job and be "friends" (in big quotation marks) with him, but I know what's lurking underneath. He's probably scared that I figure him out and hasn't realized, yet, that I have right then when he suddenly started paying attention to me.
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Phew! Always worry I am a narcissist but although I like attention, I don’t like too much. And I don’t like it when it excludes others. I am painfully aware of being excluded and ostracized. I make a point of reaching out to those I see being sidelined. I feel good when we all succeed.
👍 Agreed 😊
If these things are sincerely true and not an act, you are not a Narcissist.
Definitely NOT a narcissist!
I like attention when it inspires connection. Narcissistic people don't care for that aspect of it.
Liking attention does not make you a narcissist.
The progression of your series at this time is like Divinely Prophetic. Your are speaking Life back into dead places. You are speaking light into dark places. You are perpetuating a revival in hearts grown cold due to lack of warmth.
You are making this world a better place.
In some modern western countries, being envied is now seen as an almost positive thing, where the fault lies solely on the envious person. "Haters gonna hate, they're just jealous", all of that. It explains why flaunting or flexing is more accepted in America than in other parts of the world, because many cultures see envy as a bad thing that should be prevented by the envied person.
I think it explains the particular style of grandiosity that we see today in some narcissistic social media personalities. They seek the envy of others, even if it doesn't bring any good.
It used to be that “Old money” prided itself on NOT being ostentatious, and looked down on “new money” that wanted to be noticed by others. That attitude is obsolete now.
Yes that's a good point. My in-laws are middle Eastern and they always told me "don't show your house/car/nice things online" because it'll bring me envy and bad luck. My mother in law also has the evil eye all over her house 🤣 I'm not superstitious but I understand that energy is real and sometimes moving in silence is best for your sanity.
Yes, narcissism is rewarded in the western CULTure, social engineering the masses into narcissism, all by design, we in the states are living in an mk ultra trauma based mind CONtrol system.
Shake it off
th-cam.com/video/3mbBbFH9fAg/w-d-xo.html
That's interesting!
I need Dr. Ramani to turn her narc mockery into a stand up routine. It’s funny because it’s TRUE, and she is cracking me up today! Thank you Dr. R! ❤️😂👍🏾
Dr. Rami we need advocacy but more so we need courts to hire psychologist to diagnose and treat narcissistic personality. Many women are being abused and can’t prove there abuse because of the lack of physical scars or wounds. How can we change and amend laws to include these vary key aspects to help victims from being further abused?
I believe it’s because there are no physical scars. It’s mostly mental abuse. Although I did get stomach problems that I am currently working to heal. Having God in one’s life helps a lot. Also having people who you can speak to and be honest about the mental scars that are left behind
@@myrna4445 my MS has been really affected. I also developed severe asthma, as they walk away with a smirk
The problem is often longterm illness too. The fallout of severe depression, anxiety, self-hatred can be debilitating. But no one will ever believe I was abused unless you take your own life, and even then, the narcissist will miss what you gave them but not you…sad. When my aunt died homeless and an alcoholic my grandma could never admit her abuse was the cause but it WAS. Get out to survive my friends
THAT'S the question! Wish I knew the answer.
@@abbyz13 Yes, & I would go so far as to say that women with health problems become 'easy targets' for these creatures.
“Grown ass adults” tears 😭
Yep, I know exactly who you’re talking about. I don’t do FB anymore, partly because I was tired of dealing with the manipulative nonsense from adults…who should know better but can’t resist an audience.
The difference in healthy use of social media is IF you bring a whole self with good self esteem to the table, use it in moderation, with purpose, and not as a distraction, self avoidant path or to get your sense of self esteem as the narc does.
Remember folks. History does not repeat, But it rhymes
It’s like a constant battle with their own ego. They tell themselves it is a normal big & strong ego, but then the hole inside eats away at them and it’s a matter of time until they need to refill with compliments and attention.
In Freudian terms it's like they have an under developed ego - the Fruedian ego is supposed to resist and manage the base urges and insecurities. But with narcissists the base urgers and insecurities manage the narcissist.
Which is sad and horrible for them to exist within.
@@cairosilver2932 would you say that a child you was conceived when mother was sick and dying, and then aunties raised into adolescence would be as you say undeveloped? The person I refer to has so many narc traits, the control exhibited is off the charts, its painful to be around..
When the 36 yo narc does exactly what Dr Ramani describes and ignores her kids and shows them NO love, or validation , and is only in search of social media supply, what does that set the kids up for in their future , failure and /or following in mamas footsteps , scary reality for next generation .
As a daughter, you either become exactly like them or the opposite. I work every single day to become the opposite of who raised me. I’ve known men who recognize narcissistic traits in themselves and work on it too, it’s really up to you and whether you want to do the work.
I feel you. I have a sister too about the same age and does the same shit
Facebook, Instagram are the "TV shows" narcissists "should" have had.
Narcissistic people are so confusing 🙄
I am ever so thankful for the work Dr. Ramani does. She is def a 💎
Not really once you understand them its soo easy to cut them out, the problem is actually understanding narcissism itself is the key. This my experience Dr Ramini and others videos helped me a lot but I couldn't stay no contact with my narcissistic ex’s but HG Tudor videos gave me full picture, I was reliving every minute I spent with my narcissistic ex’s and my narcissistic dad watching his content. Now I spotted my friend is narcissist I am gonna go no contact with him from end of this month.
Narcissism is mostly about having control of the people they deal with and environment around them, to gain control they say anything do anything to achieve that. Subtle evaluation to jealousy games, triangulation many more weapons, social media is just a tool.
No. They were confusing.
Thanks to Dr. Ramani, we see right threw them now! ❤️👏
@@TLW369 exactly 💯 then when I mention to my "narc" and I say see that right there they look caught like a deer in headlights...can't believe someone has called them out on their bs
Good morning! The “frontal lobe” comment cracks me up every time. There’s no hypocrisy helping people navigate as far as I’m concerned. I want to give a shout out “look how great my life is” without narcissists clogging beauty and love. 💪🏽🦋
4 narcs uncovered between 2016 & 2021. Even though I am still raw, I have done my work to heal and I am ready to meet my last love; a healthy love that is mutual and the fact that it is lasting is never called into question. I wish you all what you wish for yourselves. Life is so hard here and so beautiful.
There are positive aspects to S.M. It is nice to see kind & supportive words sent to someone having a tough time but I've seen cruel & nasty messages too. It's entertaining to watch narcs in action but I prefer less screen time and to cultivate friends in the real world. I count my good fortune to know a handful of REAL kind caring friends.
Thank you for going deeper into your analysis of the way social media is used to support narcissistic people. I find as an introvert that any technology that allows me to edit my words before I hit send protects me from the embarrassment due me if I speak impulsively under stress.
Your alert on this issue help all of us to prepare for the assaults of narcissistic people. Eliminating surprise helps the rest of us cope better.
🙏 Amen
Insightful. Thank you for sharing.
"under-developped frontal lobe"
That was one sick and sneaky burn, that's what it was !
Also...happy I am, cause narcissistic I am not !
Clearly not !
This serie is making this very clear, and I can't tell you how relieved I am !
How is it a burn? It really is a thing that we take a really long time to mature - the executive functions that the frontal lobe provide don't really happen until about 25 because that's how long the frontal takes to develop. It's just part of life development.
Ooh, Doctor Ramini, you sound like you have a cold. I hope you get better soon. Thank you so much for your informative videos!! My narcissist showed up at my house last night, after about two months with me feeling so much relief. Now I don’t know why he comes, I’m far from a source of validation anymore. If anything, I’m so rude + stay grey rock. So why he comes back is a very good question. Maybe he thinks he’ll get me to give in. That will never happen. Despite calling 911 every single time, still he comes. He thinks he’s gonna make me give in. I will NOT. I love my freedom far too much. My being alone has been wonderful!!
@ lorie ann, Please don't answer the person who gave you the what's app number. Dr Ramini made a video of someone trying to impersonate her on TH-cam and in the comments section. Please be careful
@@gailauguste1903 Thank you, Gail. I didn’t respond. I know Doctor Ramini would never request such a thing!!
@Lorie Anne, I'm happy to hear that. Have a great weekend!
@@gailauguste1903 Thanks for looking out for others!
@@gailauguste1903 Thank you so much for the warning! I got a number for What's App in response to my comment. The number was posted, divided, in 5 separate posts.
Yes. There are a LOT of people walking around with an underdeveloped frontal lobe these days 🙄
Thank you very much for these videos. I am an empath and I have had a relationship like this but luckily realised the manipulation methods soon enough. Now you help me to behave in a proper way when it comes to this type of people.
There is no medicine or therapy that will ever treat a narcissist as effectively as getting their ass whupped every time they step out of line and play their manipulative nonsense. Pavlov works on those who will not.
HA ❤ LOVE minute 4:05! So true Dr. Ramani 👍 #Gaslighting #Manupulation
All the examples are so good. I can recognize some of my Facebook friends, also the ex-husband. Thank you so much for this series. This topic is very important. I can't wait for the next video😊💕
This is so many people on my social media I feel reluctant to group them all under the label, but it makes me think what Dr Ramani says about social media exacerbating the problem is spot on.
@@b-six-twelve Yes, I agree
Dr. Ramani, your wisdom inspires me to move forward in life. Thank you so much.
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“The narcissistic self is an aspirational self. So, it is very driven by fantasy.”
- Dr. Ramani
I really appreciate you outlning the difference between people's general positivity and lifting each other up, or even seeking healthy validation and support from genuine friends.. We all need a deserve a positive place to encourage each other and celebrate good things.. Compared to the competitive fake jealous insecure and yeah sometimes vindictive or braggidoceous machismo. Or overly charming, somehow sneaky, lacking integrity, personal brand that's not quite true persona. I love social media, its really given me and my friends a fun visual and positive way to stay connected, but I hate what it's become, what it's enabled. I know alot if us are really questioning our reliance on it, especially as self employed creative entraraneur types, because of that narc fuelling or enabling capacity that its been misused for. We've lost the village life, so many of us live international lives, and want to stay connected to friends and family, but that gap in everyday witnessing means that people with no morals can lie and pretend because there is no one real there to witness the rest. It's tiring. Looking forward to a few years away when we've collectively solved this equation as a community of friends.
Social media saved my life ❤️ from psychologist to daily vloggers talking about mental health 🙏 saved me when I was crying myself to sleep every night wishing my life would end giving me hope and a reason to get out of bed ❤️
As ever, spot-on, lovely Dr Ramani. How about the covert narcissists though? I've heard of a few that are 'I'm above social media'. I guess that will be next in your series...
Supply in the form of appreciation, grand honor,doing their work like a slave will them lot of power to regulate.
Honestly you have helped me to understand the problem better with their internal fears, also trying to understand the fears of my early years better and trying to reflect It has been very helpfull
Posting pics of their kids as if they’re the best and present father in the world yet in real life at home they are a raging narc and on his phone the entire time he is “spending time with his kids” it’s all for validation and show. Sickening.
Another great post. I learn so much from this channel.
I am a single parent with no close friends or personal support in my new country, which i chosen to run to to stop narc abuse by my close family. I find FB groups extremely supportive, and I feel connected. Being at home with a young child can prove hard to connect with new potenrial friends. Sense of connection and belonging that is soooo important to many, this I can only get through social media. Also, this is the only mean of communication with loved friends who are far away
@Dr ramani replied Are you the one impersonating Dr. Ramani?
Thank you for this. This helps me make sense of why I act the way I do with my narcissistic tendencies
They leave the gaslighting and manipulation off of the hashtags LOL. Good one Dr. Ramani 😃!
I couldn't live on social media 😖 browsing 5-10 minutes maximum a day is enough for me 😅. Is there anything that can help narcs STOP trying to get validation from others?
Wondering what’s your motivation for attempting to change narcissists’ behavior - you’re really active on Dr. Ramani’s videos and she’s super clear on the intractability of NPD. If it was possible for someone to inject internal regulation abilities into someone else, we’d be doing that by now. Else the job is an inside one - someone who cannot internally regulate and cannot bear any blows to their incredibly fragile self-image choosing to switch off from the practices that give them peace and moving towards pain for a someday non-enviable reward. Those are super slim to none odds.
Dr ramani really out here trying to help any potential self aware narcissists so they hopefully reak less havoc on everyone else ❤️
“Undeveloped frontal lobes” are as common as dirt on social media….love Dr. Ramani. That said, it can be used for good things too. It’s what you do with it and what you use it for
Can’t agree more on every single word you said Dr. Ramani. Thank you 🙏
Dr. Ramni! Love the way you fluctuate your tune and gestures more than any thing☺️
Thank you for your expertise Dr Ramani. You rock!
It’s a horrible way to exist. They shouldn’t be hated but instead pitied for how they are. I love the pinging of insecurity mention. So interesting. I agree with the aspirational self and fantasy bound existence.
Looking forward to your video discussing narcissists who don't like SM.
When i had social media my ex hated it because my posts and interactions proved i wasn’t who he was telling people i was.
Wow I needed to hear this ☕
Dr. RAMANI! WHY IS THIS KNOWLEDGE not being shout out on the roof tops! Everyone needs to know this!!! You are so wise! I am so grateful for finding you on youtube!
Good reminders Dr Romani.
My last ex narc didn’t put anything on social media, using “privacy” as term, when actually it was a way of hiding his lies.
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I had a friend who loved bombed his live-in girl on FB. She did the same thing. They looked so silly and juvenile. I was not surprised when the girlfriend moved out a few years later. He had publically proposed marriage to her (ring and bended knee) at his New Yers Eve party. Then I saw all the memes about disapointment and love gone sour. They were in their late forties and early fifties.
The detail in this video is so helpful! This reminds me of LA where a high percentage of people (posers) drive (lease) very very expensive cars for attention/validation and you know they live in horrible apartments that smell when you drive by! I was chuckling to myself about this validation seeking, witnessing a tiny woman who could almost see over the steering wheel of the huge 80K + SUV trying (unsuccessfully) to back out of a parking space. Several other drivers got tired of waiting and watching her back out, pull forward, than back out, pull forward and started driving around her to go on their way. Aspiration fail, humorous for the wrong reasons !
Best one yet Dr Ramani best one yet.
I stopped using Facebook and Instagram and my life is so much better.
you are intuitive. you do good work also.
I am understanding narcissists better through these kinds of videos. Thank you.
Thank you for this. I for sure keep my social media limited, healthy and positive and only follow those who do the same. 😊❤️💖🙏
mind blown. explains why one called me selfish for judging myself by my values rather than those of others. i explained that if i left my sense of self up to the external world and its vacillations i'd have zero internal stability or peace. (they didn't get it.) i guess it explains a lot about narcs.
Wow. Thank you. I was raised by narcissistic parents. I use that attitude to protect myself due to their damage. What can I do to self regulate internally rather than regulate outside myself and getting validation?
I was in the same situation. I really think getting a therapist that specializes in NPD might be very helpful.
Me too! Both parents each one covering all four types of narcissistic behavior. I journal and keep positive quotes in sight. 💕and went no contact w dad 10 yrs ago, best decision ever.
Oh my goodness, Dr. Ramani you perfectly described one of my friends who I felt bad about. Now that I heard this I realized she was getting validation. She literally post videos speaking about her problems; or she post videos speaking like she's an expert about life. And she gets a lot of validation with comments.
Balance in Healthy use, and awareness of Unhealthy use. I love it!
@Dr ramani replied Phishing alert! This is not Dr. Ramani. This is a criminal posing as Dr. Ramani.
I actually have a question and am wondering if you could make a video about it.
As narcissism / enablers is such a complicated and widespread pattern, I wonder if we should teach this as a topic in school (when kids are old enough to grasp such an abstract concept) or at a later stage of education.
1. But if we did, would the narcissists who would come to understand their pattern well be even more dangerous because they would learn how to lie and manipulate others better on the basis of that knowledge?
2. Also, I can imagine they would make the world even more of a hell there and then as they would immediately feel the narcissistic injury and act out on it.
3. Imagine the mess of a reaction of parents / caretakers who are narcissistic to such a topic in school and the split / taking sides in society for / against it.
For fear of those things I think it might actually be better not to teach everyone about narcissism and let people actually seek the knowledge on their own. But I'm really not sure and I don't think this is the way to do it. Maybe there is something to it that I don't know thats more positive and would speak for the teaching. What do you think is the better solution - teach or not teach? Would it do more good or bad?
This question also applies to all other cluster Bs and the dark triad.
This bothers me a lot and I wonder if you could explain it.
I think all of the above could occur. Ultimately, in an ideal world, I think it should be up to the parents to teach their kids about narcissism by good example, whilst making them aware of narcissism in others as not being acceptable. Of course, in an ideal world, there ARE no narcissists.
In a more realistic world, psychology as a subject should be taught in school. I graduated high school in 1996 and we only studied psych for the final 2 years of school. I think it should be taught in the appropriate ways from age 7-8 and all the way up. And narcissism should be one of the many subjects.
I think we could teach it and not even use the word narcissism. It could go under bullying
How about praising empathetic actions in school at levels that you aren't "cool" unless you're behaving empathetically/compassionate?
I feel like this is an evolutionary problem that is going to need a revolutionary fix. Rooted in attention to/gratitude for compassion, kindness, empathy.
I'd say if you teach about narcissism you have to treat it as a reactive behaviour - that if you teach that it's based on insecurity then narcissists will try and tell everyone else they are insecure and a narcissist. So it's not just about learning what narcissism is, it's also raising with a class what does empathy and care/love for fellow people look like and the student deciding for themselves if someone has that or not. It's a bit like sex education in some respects.
One problem though is there are probably a disproportionate number of narcissist teachers in the school system, particularly in the principle role. That's part of why it isn't taught, they wont out themselves of course.
As a 59 year old empath I just found out I have been hunted by these predators after being raised by them. Something must be done to warn our healers + visionaries. Dr Ramani stands tall in this regard (bless you). How about an Angie’s List for flying monkeys? I’ve just gone no contact and they are starting to blot out the sun.
Get well soon Doctor Ramani
Thank you very very much For Ramani 🌹🌹🌹
Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Happily I can see the good and helpful side of social media while avoiding the more negative side. I found Dr. Ramani and other beautiful Dr.s on youtube and my life was FINALLY transformed into something stable and (dare I say) normal. I do worry about the more negative side of social media but these things have a way of working out once the newness wears off....or maybe I live in a state of eternal optimism :) Either way educating people about the dangers and validating the experiences of others isn't demonizing the whole idea....it's providing perspective- at least to my mind.
Excellent and informative, thank you so very much!
I work with a guy just like Dr. Ramani describes. And he is in some kind of coop with one of my exes. He's always negging and reminding people of his latest social media posts. He reminds me of high school. His reputation slaying of me has turned some people where I work (the drama and gossip inclined people) into bullies with high school behaviors. I think that's the best they can do... is high school type bullying behaviors because they never grew up. The mature adults in the company aren't involved with the high school type crappy behaviour. The fact that a grown man thinks and acts like a little school boy... SMH.
Yep, it’s living HS all over again…only these child adults never left it, and it’s exhausting. One good thing tho, they out themselves.
Dr. Ramani left no crumbs with this one💀💀 lmaoooooo love it
@doctorramani Your videos are so much more helpful than 3 years ago. You helped me point out my ex's narcissist behavior but it wasn't specific enough for me to know what I was dealing with. He's never been diagnosed so I was just guessing. These recent videos are helping me to understand what level he's on and how to handle the situation better. Sharing kids has been difficult but each day I learn more how to coexist.
I hope all educators get schooled on narcissism, so they can attempt to interrupt the process of creating new young adult narcissists by the time they graduate. We should consider making childhood development a required topic in high school (not to mention a basic civics class), as well as psych 101, with an emphasis on CBT. I believe this could help kids, who are dealing with difficult home lives, to better regulate themselves.
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Abuse changes the structure of the brain even as toddlers. It’s so complicated. But, having the classes you suggest would be a big help. The subjects could be spread over the years. Teaching kids how to calm themselves in elementary schools would be a big help. Breathing exercises, maybe some yoga, having 15 minutes of quiet time, no study just put your head down and relax. It might be the only safe time in their day for some kids. Teaching middle school kids how to self validate. Then CBT, psych 101, and even abnormal psych that includes personality disorders would be helpful especially with the high rate of depression.
i pray that her educations vids
will stay true to my driving a 2003 van
AAA :)
look
Yes AAA covers any car YOU are riding in…. so if your friend has a bad battery and you were traveling with your friend then they will come fix ...
Thank you for the " to be continued "..
We love you Dr Ramani Durvasula!
* sending you love and soup 🍲 *
#TeamRamani 4 ever 💖🙏
Dear Dr.Ramani, Hopefully you are totally shielded from the inevitable negativity that your psycho-educational whistle-blowing must inspire. This stuff is really activism for our world and is like an expose of narcissism from the bottom up. If we get better at recognizing, defining, defying and calling out narcissism (from a safe distance!) in our personal lives - which is the focus of your work - we will hopefully build a better world over time! You are tough and brave and so smart and the best mental health practitioner ever!! Thank you so much for risking your comfort zone to tell us all this
Great video! Very important info on the inner mechanisms of narcissistic behaviour, applicable to understanding the narcissist one grow up with ….that managed to be disordered even without the technology of today’s social media….
Dr Ramani, this was spot on and really made me laugh .
You put it exactly as it is . Undeveloped frontal lobe 😂😂
Good morning!! Thank you!!
RIGHT ON !
I recognized this lovetalk publicly on social media between older Couples i know and always felt thats strange. You nailed it, thank you. I also asked once why they dont speak directly and they got pissed... :D
Nailed it!!!
This is my narc husband exactly! It’s all a fantasy in his head, a fantasy he had for years until he finally decided to get married- why??- at 53. Believe me he is not happy living the reality of a wife’s expectations and the needs of children. He told me I am not his dream after all. He’s a misery at home. But in front of other people he is a different person - happy and kind. And strangers thinks he is “so nice.”
I didnt watch thos video ive watched spmeothers of yours thank you for your insight love you god bless you keep up the good work! Danny
Wow!! Thanks! Brilliant! Wow!
‘ Undeveloped frontal lobe “, “grown ass adult. Loving this !
I HOPE YOUR COLD GETS BETTER.
Hi Dr.Ramani. I will always be grateful to social media/TH-cam at least for one thing, as without this platform I would never have the chance to know about narcissism and narcissistic abuse. You literally saved my life trough the videos I watched and I will be always indebted to you , you will be in my prayers for indefinite time! I can’t thank you enough ! God bless you ! 🙏🏻
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Thank you 🙏🏻
The saddness and SRA abuse and the collective “recovery” had become to be Traumatic just pray for the simple gifts of my simple life just to much
Yes they really love and need validation!
Most people need validation and appreciate someone reflecting back their thoughts and feelings. The problem arises when someone hogs the spotlight and appears unable to share a conversation or engage in a balanced relationship with healthy give and take, mutual respect and consideration. Validation tends to calm people down as it shows that someone listens, cares and understands how the other person is feeling and respects their preferences and needs.
Thank you Dr Ramani!
I totally agree with the positive ways of using social media.. that this is how it should be used!
To encourage, uplift, support, inform, educate and make aware.
(Not for one-upmanship, gloating,or spreading toxic/hurtful and unnecessary energy.)
I think it starts by considering our purpose/intention before posting.
And after that, reflecting on the best way to do that.
We are much more likely to use it in a helpful, positive way if we do take the time to reflect on these things.
Cheers! 👍😊
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I am a big bragger too when I got something to show off.
Many egos get so stroked, that the unsuspecting narcissists get
hooked to their egos, and not the things they're good at doing. They are
the creators of intangible problems, turning them into real problems.
Theres a huge difference between bragging about a new degree or accomplishment versus boasting about every little thing. My ex for example posts about new hats clothes and jewelry he bought. Id use commas in my comment but youtube deletes my comments whenever i do. It doesnt like commas for some reason.
@Victoria Bergman i think posting a University graduation photo after the celebratory event isnt a narcissistic act. Constantly posting it and bragging about it though, yes definitely.
It's a great gift to our culture for you to culturally popularize insights into narcissists (the bane of my life!), Dr. Ramani. You have explained why confronting it in others is such a painful bust, and yet my heart rejects the utter bleakness of your conclusion that the only option is walking away, which is not always possible (parents/teachers/bosses). In this clip, you are compassionate about their dreadful predicament of being dependent on externals. Perhaps I am being simplistic, but I wonder if therapists can throw narcissists (and their prey) a lifeline by teaching the skills of inner child work to regulate their desperate neediness and lack of compassion. It could be an empowering alternative to seeing themselves, and being seen, as permanent assholes (my current view). We scarred survivors could use some hope on his front, as cynicism is also a joy killer. We are still in this together, even after you leave.