ADHD vs. Autism #1 Intro
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
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Transition Techniques neurodivergent-friendly Guided Workbook
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Rest & Regulation Guided Workbook for Neurodivergents
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Discovering your Masks ADHD & Autism Workbook
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ADHD & Autism Uncovering Your Stims Workbook
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ADHD-friendly Weekly Planner · Helps with Executive Dysfunction
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Hope all of your weeks are going well so far. Sorry I wasn't able to upload a video last week, I was feeling under the weather and tried a couple times to push myself to film, edit, & upload but it just wasn't happening so I surrendered to allowing myself to recover. Thanks for being patient and watching my videos🧡
Take your time and take care of you 🌱
No need for you to push yourself. I understand. Mental health always trumps making videos. I’d also like to say I’m very glad I found this channel as I recently got diagnosed with autism and although I’ve been doing research 1-2 years before my diagnosis, watching these videos help me to figure out things, even though I’ve read my formal report when I got diagnosed.
I have to say that I notice the wobble in your voice before the cuts in editing. I can tell these topics hurt you and I am very grateful for your ability to share the information you do. Thank you so much.
Thanks for sharing !
I have ADHD and anxiety and depression. I had the same problem with breathing shallow breaths when having high anxiety because I felt like I just couldn’t take deep or regular breaths. I would sometimes also get this sharp pain in my chest that felt like someone was squeezing my heart for 3 seconds. For the longest time I thought the chest pain was heart related but all the tests came out normal. I was finally diagnosed with stress-induced asthma. If you are having those cheat pains, even if once in a blue moon, you may want to get checked out for asthma. Even if you don’t have the chest pain, I would still get checked out.
Thank you for your videos. It it helping me to understand the needs of my autistic brother and son.
I couldn't help but cry uncontrollably when you explained the struggles of ADHD. It's such an invisible struggle. Thank you for this.
❤
me too. That really hit home. 💜
your discussion of executive dysfunction is so relatable. i'm in a much better place right now but the feeling of lying in bed all day and feeling both guilt and overwhelm is such a core memory to me. i would fall behind in my classes, run out of laundry, not be able to shower, and despise going out to get food because i felt gross in my depression hoodie and greasy hair, while all the other students at the dining hall were wearing cute clothes and makeup and had nice hair. executive dysfunction is an isolating monster
You've explained the experience of ADHD SO well.
Literally the pauses and spacing out is my life 😂 that was refreshing to see
The crow interlude was so real. 😂
@@StephanieDefinitely>,>
These are literally all the ways I can not put into words that ADHD affects me.
Same, and even though I got to where I knew it wasn't actually _"laziness"._ or lack of being _"smart enough",_ or sometimes, even the _"will"_ to do things, important, necessary, productive things... there I stayed, unable, hoping to catch the action-wave, soon, even knowing the _"crash",_ would follow... Thank you for pointing me to this channel! Best regards- 👍
This hit so hard. Suspected I was neurodivergent some time ago, still on the process of getting an "oficial" diagnosis, basically some exams to confirm some things, but pretty sure I have innatentive adhd and asd. The experience of not being able to follow through is horrendous, I look back as well and have absolutely no idea how I managed as a kid to go thru all the things I did, specially school. I just slept and never studied and by some luck and ease to understand a few things I got high grades and all, but legitimately did nothing anywhere else. Its so frustrating when all you can do is watch yourself fail and fail again, unable to follow your dreams and aspirations because you simply don't have the energy to do anything most times. Heartbreaking honestly, I resonate with a lot you said in this video and I feel for our undiagnosed, untreated and misunderstood neurodivergent peers. Hope yall get some love and attention you deserve!
the train of thought crash because you didn't take your adhd meds is so relatable. I'm still like that with my meds. 😂 I have adhd and have an appointment for autism testing so I'm even more interested in this.
Oh My GLOB! Thank you for talking about how hard ADHD can be. I noticed that when I told people I have ADHD no one was surprised and it was business as usual. "You're medicated, right? Then there shouldn't be a problem.," But when I told people I have Autism, they were so much more kind and patient with me. Like why didn't I get that treatment with the ADHD diagnosis? It can be just as debilitating if it's not treated and accommodated.
13:08 "when you can't objectively get your life together, it's game over." I needed to hear that verbalised, thank you.
(Edit to add that I love the birdsong in the background! 🥰)
The bursts of energy are so hard to explain to other people. My spouse one time was like, "So, I just have to wait until whenever you're ready to do this thing before it's gonna get done???" And I was like, "Yeah, me too."
I love this so hard right now, you had me tearing up because you just explained it all so well and I resonate. You couldn’t have put it into better words and I cannot wait to hear the other parts! It’s so hard for me to explain what I feel and how I “function” but you just got it for me so well! Thank you so much! 🖤
Everytime I simply think about starting to talk about all this my mind just goes *blank* by overloading.
I am trying to put things on paper as an exercise for clarity, but oh boy am I all over the place and long-winded…
Her work is just *chef kiss*
Scaringly accurate.
22:03 wait for that energy: I felt like it was waiting for a herd of wild mustangs to gallop by and I have to lasso the herd to get anything accomplished.
I completely agree that ADHD is harder... I'd never want to get rid of my ASD, but I would pay a big chunk of money for someone to take my ADHD away!! It ruins my life. Not being able to get out of bed every morning is soul destroying, I've tried every hack and nothing works. Also tried medication for 8 months and nothing was changing, so I've recently given up. Guess this is just how my life has to be 😔
Edit: Sry I just noticed that you are trying medication already. I somehow missed that.
Old Comment:
Did you consider treatment? I‘m in a similar situation, but ADHD treatment seems to help a lot from what I‘ve heard.
Honey i am feeling this comment HARD right now. I hope you see this and know youre not alone. I’m seeking out a different therapist at the moment. I don’t think medical professionals know what to do other than meds. I have so many meds that never worked or had the worst side effects. If i ever find a good balance, fine, but I want coping mechanisms that I cant seem to grasp on to anymore. I’m here too hoping this isnt life…for me i have to learn how to talk out loud about it so people may be able to help.
That you for sharing your experiences with both autism and ADHD. I am diagnosed with autism level 1 and highly suspect that I also have inattentive ADHD. Just the feeling of having to rely on hyperfocus to get things done is so relatable to me. I call this state of hyperfocus 'study mode' when it is oriented towards a studious activity. Can relate to the self hatred at being overwhelmed by the task and being unable to start it. Some days I can barely take care of my body, like eating 3 meals and having a shower is hard. I have been talking to a free therapist who is going to refer me to the cheapest ADHD services to see if there is a chance I could get an ADHD diagnosis. I am interested in watching your next video to learn more about your experiences.
Also fitting in exercise and the right amount of sleep is also difficult for me. I find I am half dead during the day unable to focus on much and then when I should be sleeping I get the energy then and am more productive then.
@@sezi9plays Why is this me exactly
The way I picture the ADHD struggle is I'm swimming upstream while everyone else is on a boat with a motor. Thanks for sharing your experience ❤
I love the crow break! Totally would’ve done the same! For future reference, please do not feed bread to birds. The odd piece here and there won’t do any damage, especially to opportunistic, omnivorous crows, but I’ve gone to ponds with big, bold signs at the entrance stating to not feed bread, and providing appropriate feed in its place, and yet the pond was literally rimmed with uneaten bread because the ducks couldn’t eat as much as was thrown in there. Not only is it going to keep them from eating what is nutritionally correct for them, but the water is also going to be fouled from uneaten bread.
What are good crow treats? Peanuts! I would think unsalted would be best, and I would personally look for raw (bird feeding stores and companies will have it if grocery doesn’t). Other nuts high in protein, too. Again, try to keep it simple and away from junk food human varieties. Fruit is valued, too. Cut it up into easy grab-and-go sizes. Sunflower seeds (again, unsalted) and other high-protein seeds are great. Good luck with your befriending! 😁
If I can just play this video in my therapist session cause I felt this so bad. I’m so glad you kept the distractions in because I truly recognized myself. Your channel is truly a God sent 😭
The metaphor for hiking up Mount Everest is really good. The slight tweak I'd make to it personally is that it's not that I don't have the equipment, I do. I just wasn't given a backpack to carry it in. So you're climbing a mountain with all the same equipment, it's just that others are able to put that equipment in their backpacks and free up their hands whereas this is not something I've been able to do. And the worst thing about this is that everyone around you tells you to "just get a backpack" and even gaslight you into thinking you have a backpack, and are making your life needlessly difficult. And you start to believe them. The biggest thing my diagnosis did is it let me know for certain that I don't have a backpack and that that's okay. What I can do now is mostly place my gear into plastic bags which aren't as effective, but still better than struggling to hold everything in your hands. I definitely lost a few items before my diagnosis but now I've basically descended the mountain as much as I've been able to and I'm in the process of gathering new supplies and also looking for another mountain to climb. Didn't vibe with the shape of Mount Everest anyway :)
FUCK that's how I felt throughout my entire life! My college life was full of depression and when I graduated I wasn't happy or sad, just with no emotion. I was so done with everything I had to constantly try to understand how feel able to feel things even tiny things that don't mean anything. Thanks for sharing and yeah editing to the last bit I was so bummed out about my therapist not being familiar with adhd or autism and flat out told me I'm neither because I survived college..
My brother and I (okay and our mom lol) used to rescue little baby crows off the ground under the big trees where the crows have their nests. The mommas would kick certain ones out; they'd be down there screaming lol so we saved them and raised them and then let them go free. But they were always our friends. What a cool memory ❤ I love crows and no one EVER concurs 😂
I've been wanting to befriend the crows here for quite some time. I talk to them... Actually, now I wonder, if they're ravens, probably both are here... _"caw-caw"_ goes the crow, yet their larger cousins (Ravens), sound to me, like some kind of flying primates... segue: _flying monkeys_ lol anyway, that's a cool experiential memory, you have! Cheers- 👍
My dad befriended a crow when he was a kid. It would come by most days and leave a shiny object on his roof every visit. It was usually a shiny piece of metal, a foil wrapper, or sometimes even jewelry. One time it stole my grandpa's watch and put it on the roof.
I was diagnosed with ADHD this past year and it really did change my outlook on life, and was an “aha moment” (actually A LOT of moments) for me where I look back on my childhood and teenage years. It made so much make sense! At 38 years old I was able to say “I am not stupid, I am not lazy and my life is worth living” for the first time ever. Some days I still have difficulty believing it but it’s gonna take time and a lot of change. Unfortunately with my ADHD change is hard but I am able to do it because I have so much support!!
I’ve found a lot of great resources since my diagnosis but your TH-cam channel is spot on for me ! I enjoy learning from you and so much of what you say I completely identify with. I mean I can resonate with a bunch of content from all of your videos.
It find comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Thank you for all of the work that you do! ♥️♥️♥️
Tearing up because it's so true. My adhd is debilitating for the most part, even though i appreciate the good sides of it too. Most people don't understand unfortunately.
I'm so glad i found your channel, i don't feel so alone
I’ve never resonated with someone so much, thank you for sharing your experience 💗
same
everytime I'm depressed it always circles back to the way my adhd affects me, and with the way media and js everyone portrays it makes me feel so dramatic for how adhd impacts me and the accommodations I need. Hearing u talk about how much it has affected you in such a similar way was so helpful and encouraging, ur vids are rly great and help a lot of people
Your analogy of not being equipped the same way as other people on a hike is really accurate. Our toolkits have a lot of really interesting bit and bobs, but not nearly enough useful tools. I’ve always been jealous of people who can go through a series of motions without bouncing around uselessly, it’s so much wasted energy. Thank you
I've been brought to you by the Almighty Algorithm! And what a great recommendation. TH-cam must've noticed I've been watching a lot of ASD/ADHD content to get more information and insight. My experience includes some childhood trauma and dissociation. I told myself I didn't fit the stereotype of ADHD or ASD. I thought I may have some general autistic traits, like a few stimming movements, and a couple very strong texture-related sensory issues. I cried while watching this because I'm in the stage of burnout at my job right now. That was what launched me into reading about ASD and ADHD and at some point one video said that they have significant overlap and quite a lot of people have both, and when you have both it presents differently and can be misdiagnosed. My job requires me to multitask nonstop, handling calls, processing claims, customer emails... one brain, three tasks? Toast. I'm trying to find a psychiatrist who will work with me on a differential diagnosis with a full history, etc. I am very competent with each of my job responsibilities individually but I've burnt myself out trying to keep myself at the minimum level of their metric requirements... I feel terrible because I can't keep up. The pressure creates this manic exhaustion that never leaves...
Thank you for all of your videos but this one especially. I am in tears. You described my feelings and experiences exactly. I am in the process of being assessed for both ADHD and Autism, I'm in therapy, I'm on a break from work due to depression and anxiety, and the dark thoughs are ever present. Today I had one of those days like you described - stuck in one spot and full of guilt and shame. You have given me hope and made me feel understood. I''ll be sharing this video with all my loved ones and even my therapist. Thank you. ❤
This video is describing my life. I’d say I can’t believe I’m 41 and just discovering this in the past week or so. But I can.
Hi, I'm one of those people who can't get themselves to go get assessed. Your description of a life with ADHD was beautiful and poignant. It has made me more certain I have ADHD. Thank you!
"If I can barely manage taking care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of kids?" is exactly the argument I've been using with my mom wanting grandkids, I'd been pretty comfortable with the idea of not wanting to be the primary caretaker of a child already due to having to take care of my stepnephew after school as a teenager when he was a baby, her response was "You just do, you get better at keeping track of things when you have someone else to take care of, because you love that person so much and need to help them" except her argument has the hole in it that if love was enough I would have gotten good at housework for my husband's sake years ago, since there's definitely no shortage of emotion towards him on my part. I've figured that it wasn't worth the risk, since once you have a kid there's no going "oops, I messed up" as far as I'm concerned, since the system already has way too many kids in foster care and orphanages as it is, and every child deserves to be loved and wanted and have all of their needs met, which the foster system isn't currently able to do adequately. As far as I'm concerned we're absolutely making the right choice to not have kids until we're sure we'll be able to give them the care they deserve, even if in my case that means I might not ever have biological children since I'm already in my mid 30s and there's only so much time for that (thankfully, can you imagine having periods forever? that would be miserable enough for me, and you're dealing with Endo as well, which thankfully I don't think mine are quite bad enough to qualify for that Dx)
Her: *Talking about her past*
Me: *That’s my current life*
This is such a great explanation of adhd. It is such a silent struggle in your head!
I’m not even fully done with this video yet but the part about depression being a symptom of executive dysfunction is….so crazy like I heavily relate to most of the lowest points in my life being times where I have been overwhelmed under a mountain of tasks and responsibilities that I can’t seem to handle and just always put the blame back on myself. Anyways will definitely be considered talking to some people and also just wanted to say thank you for all your videos even though I don’t always relate to everything it’s really nice to see your genuine perspectives!
Thank you so much for this video Irene! The way you described the up/down cycle of having energy/getting stuff done and then experiencing burnout/periods of not being able to do anything but the basics (as well as climbing the mountain but not having all the necessary resources) truly resonated with me. A lot of what you say in all of your videos resonates with me. I have been suspecting for years that I have a neurodiverse brain, and something recently is calling me to investigate further whether I could be on the autism spectrum, have ADHD, sensory processing issues, executive dysfunction issues, etc... So, I've set-up an appointment to be assessed. Your videos have helped me to have the confidence to take this next step and to better articulate my experience. So thank you for all that you do. Many blessings to you. ☺🙏✨
You articulated why having ADHD is so hard better than anyone I've seen try. Thank you
You help me realize how real the physical effects of anxiety can be. I sometimes have belly and chest pain problems, but when I see doctors they can't find anything. I think since my emotionnal feelings of anxiety are very distinct from the physical ones (I don't dread going out the same days I get belly pain), I tend to not associate the physical signs with mental health.
It's like you think you've got enough food and when you don't, everyone else around you just tells you to go get it some. But you're already halfway up the mountain and climbing back down just makes everyone else more ahead of you (My equivalent to "just do it, just do your dishes or rinse out your bowl for example). I feel the same.
I am someone who hasn’t been diagnosed. But listening to this whole video is listening to someone talking about my life struggles that aren’t talked about. It makes me feel better knowing that I’m not the only one living a life like this. Growing up I’ve always struggled with chronic anxiety. Depression is also situational for me. And hearing you describe how it is for you is so relatable. I personally am pretty sure I have ADHD and Autism. And I am starting to take steps into getting diagnosed. And as a fellow INFJ its so nice to find someone who not just understands these mental disabilities but is willing to understand it deeply is something I’m so grateful to find.
OH MY GOD From around 20:00 to around 22:50 is SPOT ON exactly what I've been dealing with for YEARS. Oh my god you have no idea who incredibly validating, reassuring, and just amazing it is to hear someone else put into words exactly what I've been struggling with for so long, and finally hearing someone else say they deal with it. After bringing it up constantly with my previous therapist and constantly being told it was normal, and everyone deals with that. God being brushed off and invalidated by both your therapist and psychiatrist at the same time while dealing with undiagnosed, and a refusal to diagnose, adhd, is like a triple whammy. Thank you so much for making this video, god its so gratifying to hear everything youve been saying and how like its pin pointed exactly on my exact struggle
For me having adhd and autism has made life very difficult for me but now being diagnosed I know I'm on the right track.
I so relate to this! After learning that sth like ADHD exists it seemed to be handled more and more like sth that doesn´t really influence your life so much. Maybe it was the people who talked the most about it have this tendency to minimize everything? Idk.
But when it was diagnosed in me 2 years ago, I became more and more aware that I totally experience it like you describe your own struggles! Including the downward spiral of selfesteem and the drastic loss of energy the more I tried to fulfill normal standards.
To me it would have been super important to proof myself that I´m able to live an independent life. In my family I was the invisible child, both parents just didn´t know what to do with me, that education and attention are needed to develope a healthy self and such things. No rules, no boundaries, no explicit scales for orientation, and on top of that my brother became the narcissistic golden child who used me as the litterbox for only his frustrations. His sadistic behaviour was bad enough to push me more and more into invisibility, while he accepted the parentification and even became a replacement i some way for my father when he died. The silent hope that my mother would recognize what´s going on became less and less until I realized I can only break off with them both.
The fact that ADHD and autism runs in the family makes me guess that the influence of the family system plays a big role how someone perceives themselves and how good or bad he deals with all this. I am the only one who got a diagnosis, but I highly suspect that my parents and brother have/had traits of one or both disorders, too. In retrospect the taciturnity, the noticeable social isolation and the total conflict avoidance of both parents is so conspicuous, but none of them found it odd.
I am now also trying to get screened for autism and to make more sense out of my life than before.
I didn't get diagnosed with autism and OCD until last year around my 30th birthday. I agree with you about the hindsight. I have no idea how I went that long struggling without seeking help or really understanding something was wrong that wasn't in my immediate control.
sobbing out of relief and comfort right now. to hear a complete stranger say stuff i go through daily, in detail. hearing that i'm not alone in this suffering. i've never felt so understood. the next struggle for me now is to find a professional who won't brush my condition off lol
I have watched a lot of these style videos, and this one is one of the very best by far. The content is extremely honest, authentic and incredibly articulate. Thank you for uploading.😊
Man I’ve never felt more seen! Never met someone else who has the breathing experience of anxiety as the biggest symptom
Diagnosed 11 years ago and it’s still a struggle to understand and live with my ADHD. You literally described my life and the feeling of always trying to catch up.
i have never been able to articulate my experience of adhd the way you just did for me- thank you sincerely
I recently received my autism diagnosis, but I highly suspect that I also have ADHD. Thank you so much for motivating me to actually seek this diagnosis because the things that you described were very much in line with what I am going through on a day-to-day basis. I appreciate you so much and thank you once again.
From me the self diagnosis and acceptance is the best thing I ever done. Getting public funded professionally adult diagnosis here in New Zealand is like pulling hens teeth and private diagnosis is currently completely out of my financial reach, even if I could find someone who can provide it.
Thank you for this. I can relate to soo much of this. I feel certain I have autism and recently suspect adhd as well. At least three of my five siblings have it. I have several Symptoms of autism that they don’t have but we also have some things in common.
Just as a side note, many autistics also suffer from executive function disorder, so they can also feel that cycle of doubt and feeling like a failure, despite trying to hyper focus on tasks for so long. I know for me that really bothers me as I focus on things for hours to the point of neglecting things and then step back finally and it looks as though I did almost nothing. Doesn’t help my confidence.
When you got distracted by the crow it made me feel less bad about having to back the video up multiple times because i was getting distracted by the song birds. 💜
I find it downright enraging that I spent my whole life, wondering what's wrong with me, wondering why I don't relate with anyone else, feeling alone, feeling like people are speaking a different language and their experiences and the ways they live their lives baffle me to no end. Only to stumble into Autism and ADHD content at 26 years old, and suddenly I'm sitting in my chair, staring at the screen, wondering why the person on it is putting words to my entire life experience. Like... do you know me? Have we met?
And it's kind of frustrating because I just spent a whole week putting together a folder with all my autistic traits, tests, explanations for why I want a diagnosis, childhood experiences and experiences with school, work, my mental health, to take to my psychiatrist this Monday because she completely invalidated me last time because I had a hard time talking and remembering all the things.
And now you're telling me I might need to put together and ADHD folder? It's starting to become a full time job.
Your description of what your anxiety feels like physically is so much like my own, it felt eerie hearing it come from another person. The feeling of it in your stomach, the shortness of breath, it's uncanny. And once it lodges there, just above my stomach, right between my ribs, it's so hard to get the feeling to go away. I try to lay down and get into all kinds of positions, but it doesn't seem to leave until I just distract myself with something... like TH-cam videos about autism 😅
Thank you very much for making this first video of the three-part series. I could relate a lot to a lot of things you said. I am really, really happy to have "discovered" your channel as there are many white folx covering adhd, and as someone of color, I would prefer to listen to, resonate and engage with other folx of color who have personal experience with the subjects they choose to talk about. It is incredibly refreshing and insightful to listen to you elaborate. I look forward to the other two videos next time I get a chance to pay attention long enough for the duration of the video. Thank you, again!
I’m diagnosed with adhd and have been since I was a child but I’ve been suspecting that I have asd as well. I’ve been doing a lot of research, doing a lot of online assessments, reading articles, watching a lot of videos from autistic creators specifically women since I am a woman) and I’m relating with a lot of the traits. I haven’t self diagnosed or anything like that but i’m continuing to do research because I want to keep going more in-depth but thank you so much for this video, it’s really relatable.
Thanks I appreciate this. I relate massively to your story. I am 26 and just got diagnosed 8 months ago with autism and adhd combined
I didn’t realize Ive been using marijuana to “disassociate” myself and be able to go in public and do things. Like before going to the store, class, basically anywhere with people. Thank you for guiding me to this clarity ❤️
I self medicated my ADHD for 6 years. It slowed down my mind and gave me a break, until it didn't. Quitting was extremely difficult and took me a year and a half to even start after I decided it wasn't working anymore. Now I'm nearly a year sober and more present in my own body/life. It's been a positive change, but getting here was really difficult.
i really love the ambient noises you play in the background - they really help me focus on the core of your content. Thank you for being so articulate in sharing your experiences. Keep creating great content :)
This was very relatable and helped me wrap my head around a few things. Still waiting to get assessed and now that I'm seeing so many neurodivergent traits in myself, the waiting is getting pretty nail biting.
This video is too good, but so emotional for me right now. I'm leaving, not because of you but because it's so good.
I will be back I promise.
I've downloaded and I've added a few prompts to get me back here when I'm able to sit and have feelings, and allow myself to grieve for my past self and current self at 41yrs having had one diagnosis in my 30s and another on the horizon.
We don’t only share the name…but u just described my entire experience as an adult with untreated ADHD 🥺 I got a diagnosis for ADHD (I suspect there’s also autism) , but I haven’t been able to follow through with more sesiona, so it was left untreated …😞13:46
You are amazing! I really love your videos
I love your videos they really help me to understand myself thank you for all your help, also I love hearing the bird sing thru out your video it was very soothing to me 😊
I'm so glad I found somebody who is also having breathing problems because of physical anxiety
OMG @11:37 is so relatable to me! That is EXACTLY how I feel some times
I love your analogy of having the right equipment to hike up Mount Everest. I've always used the comparison of plates; some people have a stainless steel plate, others might have ceramic, maybe they have a sectioned paper plate, or a cheap flimsy paper plate that if you put too much on it falls apart and there goes everything.
Thank you for another very interesting video. I am curious to hear about your opinion on the treatment, I will have a chance to start mine this summer and am quite nervous about it concerning the side effects but I feel that without it, I will never be able to achieve my professional goals…
Also, as a woman diagnosed with autism and ADHD at age 46, I so agree with you that getting a diagnosis is crucial and life changing.
I love that you took time out for the crow, I am a bird lover as well 💚
I am starting the process of getting an ADHD diagnosis rn and so much you are saying in this resonates with me! Especially the feeling of always being fatigued and not getting how other people manage their lives so well.
You are FANTASTIC
I LEARN SO MUCH FROM YOU
SO INTELLIGENT AND SO BEAUTIFUL IN AND OUT❤
Your self-observation and all the effort to put it into words helps a lot.
My favorite side character in this video is the crow. Love crows.
Daaaang dude ☹️Got me crying over here feeling so seen and so grateful for this video I can share ❤
I hope you know how much you are helping me right now. I am so grateful for your vulnerability and how in depth you explain these things in your videos. I feel empowered to get help for my son. I think I’ve always known he is on the spectrum but I need to advocate for him and get the help he needs. Long story with his situation but I am hopeful now that I can approach this in the best way now. So thank you
oh my god I just noticed myself starting to tear up at you describing executive dysfunction and how it can cause depression. Like now that I'm actually diagnosed and getting the medication I need, I'm realizing the reason I developed depression in my late teens. Why for so long Ive developed burnout so easily with my art, and spend so many weeks, months just laying in my bed burnt out staring at my tablet and just crying because I was so disappointed and frustrated with myself for not being able to just do the thing. Just get up and draw. Why I struggle with identity issues, not feeling like I truly know who I am, because if I can go so long without even glancing at my tablet or even looking at any art, am I actually an artist? And if I'm not an artist, who am I? Have I just been convincing myself I'm an artist because I dont know anything else I could be? Is it just that theres something out there that I actually identify with, but just havent discovered it yet? Am I fooling myself by calling myself an artist, when the last time I drew was a year ago and it wasnt even good? Am I even an artist if everytime I attempt to draw again its horrible? ALL of this was because I was untreated. And even MORE identity issues are created when I tried to seek help, got a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with BPD around 2020/2021, and when I brought up that i identify with a lot of ADHD symptoms, just get brushed off. Dont even get the mercy of her asking ADHD identifiable questions. So I get on medication for BPD, which cant even be treated itself, only the symptoms can be treated. And everything they try just isnt working. The SSRI's, the mood stabilisers, the antidepressants, everything. Years of appointments hearing "Lets up the dosage this time", "Lets try a new medicine this time", "Lets reduce the dosage this time", "lets try this new one", Nothing worked. I gave up and just quit therapy and psychiatry, and stopped taking my prescriptions cold turkey, especially because the last medication I was prescribed was giving me hallucinations and heightened anxiety. And I was still perpetually burnt out. It felt like all my interests were behind a latched door, and only one door could be opened at a time, and my brain just had a cycle of every week or every few weeks one door would close and the next would open. Suddenly I want to go off grid, start a homestead, buy some land and get some animals and start a garden. So I hyperfocus on researching the planting calendar of every single plant I could possibly want to plant, how to take care of them, etc. I'm buying all the materials I think I'll need, dedicating a huge binder and master document to every single thing I could possibly need to know or have to create a homestead. And then... the door closes and I just drop it completely. Then suddenly I want to learn to play electric guitar. Any average person would start by watching tutorials, maybe signing up for some lessons with a loaner guitar. But no, I insist on teaching myself, and impulsively buy every single thing I think I'll need in order to play the electric guitar. The guitar, the amp, the cords, a tuner, picks, a case, etc. So I download an app to teach myself, spend a few weeks learning and as soon as chords come along... the door closes. The challenge has become too great, and I can no longer do it. The guitar proceeds to collect dust in the corner of my room for years until I eventually give it away, not sell it, but give it, because of that rejection sensitive dysphoria that causes me to be a people pleaser. Then, suddenly, I want to start painting again. I go to an artists market to support my friend and decide now I want to quit my job and start selling my art at markets and conventions. So I buy a new easel, dust off all my old dried up paints I havent used in years, the brushes I never bothered to clean properly, the pallets that still have dried up paint on them, and decide I need to buy all new paints so I can have the proper pallet I'll need to mix the colors I'll need. So I splurge on multiple sets of the colors I need in different types of paint, Acrylic Gouache, Oil, because I can't decide what type of paint I wanna use, so I just buy both. Finally, with all my new fresh supplies in hand, new pallets, new canvases, new easel, I put brush to canvas, and actually keep it up for a few months, make decent progress, maybe I'll actually keep this one up this time, maybe I've finally found that thing I've been waiting for. That thing that'll actually keep my interest for a long time and I wont end up burning out- and then the door closes. And before I can even finish the painting, my brushes, pallet, and canvas are left to dry up in the corner of my garage. Out of frustration and a BPD splitting episode, I smash the painting. Further frustrating me and further inducing the executive dysfunction and depression. Weeks go by, nothing feels better than to just rot in bed and watching mindless youtube videos that dont challenge my brain. Then, Suddenly I want to draw again, so I wipe the layer of dust off my tablet, look up a reference, put my pen to the screen, and finally draw again. But... since its been so long since I last drew, it feels off. I'm rusty. I havent practiced in so long, it doesnt feel right. My proportions are off, it doesnt look the way it does in my head. I'm frustrated, so I stop before I even finish the sketch and turn my tablet off, and escape to a less consequential hobby that doesnt challenge my brain, watching youtube videos. And thus the cycle continues, the door to drawing closes, and wait.. the next door isnt opening, I'm still rotting in my bed, I dont have the motivation for anything.... and... depressive episode. A vicious, frustrating, exhausting cycle thats eaten up at least a decade of my life. Constantly brushed off or downplayed by my family and even doctors who are supposed to be helping me. Until finally, after becoming so frustrated with the cycle, I decided to take a chance on a different doctor, and he's actually listening to and considering my struggles. And he actually brought up the possibility of ADHD, and asked some diagnostic questions, and actually prescribed medication for it. And finally, I have a little bit of hope that maybe I can find myself again. Remember what it feels like to be.... me. So, if anyone resonates with this comment, and has been turned away by doctors, downplayed by friends or family, seek help. There are people who will listen, you just have to find them. ADHD and BPD can coexist along with anxiety and depression, and when I really look back and observe it, are typically connected and have a cause and effect relationship. And it feels good to finally connect it all, and realize that I'm not broken. I was never broken. I've always been an artist. I've always been me. I just needed help.
I can relate with your explanation of executive dysfunction. In order to cope with it, I made a color schedule but at some point I was doing a lot of stuff that could not fit to the point that I ended I meltdown and burnout and could not find the energy to do what I like. Even walks did not seem to help.
you only got distracted about 3-4 times towards the end of a half an hour of talking (even if reading from notes) - compared to me ,this is nothing! )) admittedly I'm 8 years into motherhood though....
very helpful and relatable content, thank you🙏
I resonate so much with all of this
Lmao at trying to feed a crow in the middle of a video. I love that you left that in
This is the best description I’ve heard. This is my life!
I've started to suspect I have both autism and ADHD, and holy shit I related to the experiences in this video so hard. This makes my life make so much sense.
i was diagnosed with adhd from a very young age but only recently got diagnosed with Borderline, although I have known i had adhd for a long long time i have never been treated bc the medications' negative effects on me were harder to deal with than the positive ones. More recently knowing about my BPD makes my behaviors so much clearer for me but not at all easier. I go to therapy but no matter how behaviorally self aware i try to be everything is still so hard. Finding ur vids recently though has helped me feel less alone in my executive dysfunctions and inability to regulate my emotions. So just feeling more understood really helps a lot , bcs I struggle with feeling crazy and misunderstood for a lot of my life and just thinking something is wrong with me, specifically!!
I was diagnosed as a child with a (developmental disorder), but my parents decided not to get me treated. All my life I struggled with my issues thinking this was normal and just how life was. All my family also has issues similar to me so again, it all just seemed normal. I knew I had something but thought it was mild at most, I had no idea how bad it was until recently. I'm finally getting treatment for my ADHD (I'm no hyperactive so I didn't think I had that) and I'm realizing there is so much more I have to deal with.
Excellent video Irene, I can relate to everything you talked about ☺️👍👏 Thank you for all of your hard work putting your videos together 💓
I'm not autistic, but I'm diagnosed with ADHD-pi, and you explained the ADHD experience so well that I even shed some tears. Like you said, it can be really debilitating and takes a huge toll on your self steen.
what if the crow was saying "hey, i'm by your side, you'll get through it!❤" yeah distracting but not ill-intended ;)) i dunno, i just love 'em crows, their voices remind me of the sweet and calm times in my childhood when i was close to nature and away from harmful people) on a more serious note, thank you for the insight. i thought autism and ADHD were like opposites, and you've got both. and having listened to you, i've recognised some similar things in myself. would be interesting to talk with a mental health specialist about that. thanks again and all the best to you and to the crows! :)
You nailed perfectly how I feel in every aspect possible.
Wow! This is helping. I am self-diagnosed Autistic and ADHD and you confirm it. Your description is so similar to mine. I’m trying to get help through the VA but it is not going well. I find the health care system to be incomprehensible. Binge watching while recovering from what might be Covid. Really not bad at. Mostly just very uncomfortable because it hurts the arthritis in my neck and, I can’t get a comfortable temperature. Feels like I’m hot and cold at the same time sometimes. Anyway; on to the next video
My son has ADD, I suspect my daughter has autism ( and she does to ) and my counselor just recommended that I get checked for ADD. I’m listen to your video and my jaw just drops lol because you’re explaining feelings I’ve had for years ( the body aches , needing to be alone after being social or in a socially busy area , etc) yet I never would have thought it could be ADD because the general view out there is just if the hyper active part . We don’t have that so much as all the other symptoms that go along with having ADD. It’s helpful just knowing I’m not unusual for feeling so exhausted from simple life things . I’d wonder how people do it ? Well now I know lol . They aren’t having constant anxiety.
I love your videos. Thanks so much for your in depth look at Autism and ADHD. I find you very relatable and I think it's so great that you share your knowledge. Thank you!
It can ruin your life. If you are ADHD or think you are, and are in your teens or 20s please get diagnosed and/or get medication and therapy. You don't understand the power ADHD holds over your life, poor grades, struggles, struggles with dating, committing to a relationship, years gone by without any movement, struggles committing to a career or life/job change, weight gain, and run away weight, more accidents/injuries, poor choices (chronic drinking, smoking, drug use) that can have terrible outcomes, being behind everyone else, missed bills, debt, etc. Executive dysfunction, disconnection. A decade can go by fast, take my advice help yourself now.
ADHD, autism, and now MS. I hit the wall today. Burnout cycle is crazy.
I feel ya. I strongly suspect ADHD and ASD (need to find some focus to get testing set up) and all of my coping mechanisms that I never knew I was doing broke when fibromyalgia hit about 16 years ago. If I had been diagnosed or even suspected earlier, I might not have been repeatedly denied disability because they thought I was making up how badly I am affected.
you are so talented at explaining, amazing and very helpful, thanks. I feel that the struggle comes from having both adhd and autism cos these way of functioning have very opposite needs and it is as if our life had to be dedicated to keep both in track and when one is satisfied the other one is not so we constantly have a huge mental charge. I imaging having adhd or autism is not easy either but at least you can learn and manage your life around it but with both it is impossible not to crash in between at some point.... and if you add to it physical pain, this is like a full time job just to take care of onself bot mentally and physically. We do a lot yet everything is invisible and unexplainable to other people, which creates isolation I feel in my case
I can't even tell you how helpful this was xxxx
Thank you, Irene. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences & vulnerabilities. You've got a gift for putting to words what so much of what a ND life feels/looks like, and that is some valuable catharsis. (also, thank you for keeping in the distractions... there is a murder of crows that frequent my yard & I work very hard at courting a corvid friendship 🙃)
thank you irene 🤍
I swear this is me. I haven't even written the book, but you're reading it. ❤️ 😭
22:00 geez I feel this way all the time. I feel all this all the time. I think im gonna seek more therapy.
I know this is an old video but wanted to say thanks for it! There a section in the middle, where you talk about how of course you're gonna cross it you literally cannot get your shiz together that put clearly into words something I've been trying to articulate. ❤
Hi, thanks for the video, super nice and I definitely was taking notes - one thing however unrelated to ADHD that I wanted to mention :
If you could not feed crows bread that would be good! They like bird seed and there’s some nuts they can have - if you want I can comment some links. I’m a wildlife biologist, and bread is not great for avian digestive system and does not carry nutritional value.