First Time Hearing A Reason to Fight by Disturbed | Suicide Survivor Reacts W/Jaime Bennington
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ค. 2024
- #areasontofight #suicideawareness #disturbed #firsttimehearing #chesterbennington #linkinpark #makechesterproud
Right now I have a very special project in the works that I believe will change the mental health world. My Patreon pledges will be going toward that (and my ongoing projects) When you become a Patreon, I will also react to your song/video of choice, you get to participate in monthly live streams, ask me questions and so much more. EVERY SINGLE DIME GOES TOWARD MY MENTAL HEALTH OUTREACH!!!!!
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Today I reacted to A Reason to Fight by Disturbed from the Evolution album. This song was written as a tribute to Chris Cornell from Soundgarden, Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots and Chester Bennington from Linkin Park. A Linkin Park song coming on at the right place and time brought me off the ledge and since today, July 20, marks four years since Chester lost his life to suicide, I wanted to honor him by reacting to this song WITH his son, Jaime Bennington.
There's always a reason to fight. You're never alone.
Follow me on IG: @mentalamanda
Follow Jaime on IG:
Jaime's TH-cam: tinyurl.com/2kd77yp6
Jaime's Short Film, A Chant: tinyurl.com/y77rpfk7
Recommended Playlist (VLOG: My Mental Health Journey)
tinyurl.com/MentalAmandaList
Suggested Video: Jaime Bennington, My Journey With Mental Health
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💖Keep the mental health conversation going by sharing your story here in the comments. No matter where you are in your journey, you have a safe place here to share your struggles and accomplishments without judgment. This is how we shatter the mental health stigma.💖
And if you need some direction and would like me to be your Happiness teacher, you can sign up for my Happiness Boost course here:
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There is a video of David talking to a crowd during this song live with included clips of fans, it adds a lot to the powerful message. I always loved Disturbed, but ever since they started tackling this issue it's a new level of respect from me...calling it a demon inside of you is relevant when you don't feel like yourself because you feel possessed by the emotions and thoughts.
Hello Amanda, great reaction as always. I love your openness! I am a navy veteran that deals with medical issues ( tinnitus )that are not visible. So hard for people to understand. I would love for you to react to( five finger death punch, wrong side of heaven) video.
If you haven't heard or reacted to Five Fingee Death Punch..Coming Down. It's very emotional. Bring kleenexes
You should react to the live version. It is so much better. Disturbed actually let's the fans come up and talk about their battles with addiction and mental illness and how they overcame. It truly is beautiful
Try Inside the Fire by Disturbed
hey you guys have to do the live version, it actually has people come up and talk about their addiction or depression, very powerful video
the live version adds soo much context, it's amazing
Yes, 100%
There is a live version where David Dreymen addresses the crowd and does a show of hands of the crowd who has suffered from addiction or depression or knows someone who has and then tells them that they are not alone and it's so powerful that it gives you chills
The live version is VERY powerful!!
Agree 💯
You need to watch the live video for this song. The way he involves the audience and embraces them and shows them that they aren't alone is just amazing.
Yes.
LOVE what you're using this platform for. I'm a Veteran who suffers from PTSD, and it's amazing how Disturbed, yourself, and so many others are wanting to help. Just wanted to say thank you.
Thank YOU for your service. You aren't alone! We got your back!
Great reaction. Disturbed -The Light and Falling in Reverse - Popular Monster are also great songs that deal with similar issues.
Great reaction, watch the live version of this song, you will be in tears listening to the people tell their stories, just incredible
Absolutely do the live version. It’s beautiful. Love that you made a channel like this, love that you’re working on de stigmatizing only crazy people have mental health issues.
I found you today. On a day I needed to find you. Thank you for doing this for everyone who needs it and/or needs to hear about it for someone else...someone else posted it also, but definitely check out the official live video
I'm always here, just a message or comment away 💜.
Thank you I needed that
Awesome reaction as always and with a great guest! Keep your amazing work going!
Thanks again Amanda!!
This song is a BEAUTIFUL tribute!!
It’s a loving ballad and shares the pain, sadness and grief we experience
during the ideation and contemplation of giving in to the “demon” of
mental health struggles.
I don’t think “demon” is meant as anything supernatural or evil. I think we
feel powerless at times against the tide of ideation and the appeal of
release from the worldly cares.
We all play the “game” of hide and seek with the truth. Whatever it is we’re
denying, to others, to ourselves, it is a game.
It’s not fun or funny, but we’re all guilty of being disingenuous about our disease.
We’ve hidden the truth of the battles we’ve been dealing with. From others and
from ourselves. At least until we begin to recover, seek help or treatment, or
succumb to the disease.
“I’ll be your reason to fight” as a gesture of love and support and reminder that you’re
never alone.
If youre going to do Disturbed, you should really do "Inside the Fire."
That... Might be way too much for her
@@1320crusier
Well, its topical. And the entire point is understanding the draw of what Devin did, but not following suit. Also, the music video has a pretty clear warning.
Inside The Fire the music video triggered me really hard
This is the most inspiring reaction channel I have ever been privileged to have stumbled across! Keep up the good work, and yes, you help people more than you can imagine!
I honestly want to say thank you. More for the talk after the video. You brought some actual insight to me and hopefully others struggling with depression and addiction.
I never really thought about the question, "what is happiness to you" as a step towards overcoming depression, but it makes so much sense! this is great and thanks you guys for sharing such a great conversation.
New subscriber here: this was wonderful; thank you so much! I would also like to highly recommend the Official Live Video for this song. The testimonials contained within and David's words to the crowd are beyond powerful.
You need to react to Disturbed's A reason to fight the official live music. You really need to see that, react to that and share it with everyone.
I really enjoyed your reaction to this song. I myself am fighting depression on a daily basis and to be honest Disturbed with their music are a big part of me being alive today. I found their music resonating with me so deeply that it helped me fight my suicidal thoughts.
So seeing you reacting to this song and talking openly about mental health is really amazing and i respect you very much for what you are doing. Keep the good work up. What you do is really important.
This is awesome! Love you Jaime!
To clarify, the "game" David is referring to in that context is the back and forth game that we play with each other. These superficial "how are you?" "Fine" social interactions where we politely ask how someone is, but its just a gesture of politeness, were not actually expecting an answer other than "I'm fine."
But he's also talking about the people around the person dealing with addiction or mental health. "Can it be real this time" are they going to seek help? Can i trust them? Or will they fall back into the same rut as before? In the song when he references mental illness and addiction he refers to them as demons and as a fight or battle.
I love you Amanda. Please give my best wishes to Jamie Bennington and his entire family.
David from Disturbed has a very unique voice that carries emotion so well.
You need to do the official live version. I saw them live in Hershey, PA. And during this segment I was in tears.
Chester is my idol i growing up with Linkin Park, i still listen everyday, i have tough childhood and Chester is like my savior 2017 my bestfriend got car accident and he battle with death 15 days in sixth day i go to hospital for see him and my girl friend tell me Chester died, first i didn't believe and i look the internet and see that is true i just sit sidewalk and start cry 5 days later my bestfriend died too 5 years past i still recover myself i still battle with depression sometimes i think maybe death is the answer but that times i listen Linkin Park and find power in me Thank you for Everything Chester. #makechesterproud
I love your videos and your reaction.
Took me a minute to realize who you collabed with. His dad’s a legend and an amazing artist.
🇸🇪👋🇺🇸 Very insightful conversation. You're spot on about the power of language and words. A future tip; nowhere in the world of Disturbed is the suicide monster more evident than in their music video "Inside the fire". If you'd do a reaction, it would be interesting to hear your opinion on the matter.
Hi, just found your channel. i absolutely love what you are doing. I am nearly blind and an alcoholic. there are days when i just want it all to end, its too hard. I feel like a complete worthless person, its been this way for so many years. My mind says i dont need it, its hurting me but it also says do it, you have to.
However, im moving in 2 months, i have some great friends who will be there for me when i quit (i live alone now and im afraid of having a seizure from withdrawals and not being able to get help) and help me through whatever happens. Sometimes you just have to fight through to find the light.
Now this is worthy of sharing! TH-cam isn’t kind all of the time. They really should not block videos like these from the algorithm 😡. I’ll help ya since this is very near and dear to my heart. I once was suicidal bc I was cheated on relentlessly. I can’t believe someone’s crappy actions almost cost me my life. Smh. I’m sharing this.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum my love!
Great reaction as always....side note Halocene released a new song "when demons come to life"....it is amazing, its about struggling with depression. I would love to hear your analysis of it!
I have just witnessed a live video of this song. At a concert there were alot of fans who shared their own stories of addiction and depression. The song was performed and David at the end gave a beautiful speech of what the song is about and how things like depression, addiction and suicide were not confined to people in entertainment or military. He asked people to raise their hands if they also had their own similar demons they battled with, and just the sea of hands- unbelievable. There were that many and he then went on to remind them they were not alone and that they were all in this together to fight back against the demons they were up against. He was encouraging them to reach out and seek support however they can. In another video, they were in this studio type of thing performing the song, then they were interviewed about it and the band revealed they had people they knew who battled depression, addiction, and were also lost to suicide. I have seen footage of Soundgarden's last show in Detroit and you could see just how unstable Chris was through the whole show, it was very confronting. The pretty reckless were supporting Soundgarden on that tour. Pretty reckless singer Taylor Momsen had a good talk with him after the show and then woke next day to the news he was gone. Days later, she was playing at a festival and it was so difficult for her. You could see she was having to perform after losing her new found friend. She sang 'like a stone' at the end of the set and you could see how much she struggled to get through it. I was so impressed by the bravery she had to push on and get through the song. She ran off at the end in tears at the end, and her band took time off to deal with what had happened. I was also very shocked by the loss of Chester and Chris. If you can, I would love to see you do an interview with the disturbed singer, and I think he would be so proud of the work you are doing to help so many people fight their way through their mental health journey, keep up what you are doing, it just incredible!!
you need to check out the official live video, it is very powerful
This is so great! Thank you both very much Amanda and Jaime for your reaction to this powerful music video and also for your personal and candid conversation about depression and addiction. May I suggest that you also check out the live version at the following link. The music video is very powerful but the live version, at least in my humble opinion, is on another level. I can never get through it without crying and I am ok with that.
Disturbed - A Reason To Fight [Official Live Video]
th-cam.com/video/gRGRduyCy_M/w-d-xo.html
When I went through depression and suicidal thoughts, I had gotten into cutting and I did it a lot.
One time when I got out of a psych hospital and went home and I was looking at TH-cam and found this song and I paid attention really good and fell in love with it
well i'm silly for not looking harder before suggesting this very song yet again lol. but you should give the live video version a view in private if not on the channel, it hit's home even more.
I'm truly enjoying your reactions. I share the same experiences. I'm so inspired by you. I feel you're super amazing.
Thank you so much. It's comments like this that make me want to keep going.
@@MentalAmanda I'm glad because you're worth it!! 💙💜❤
We are all worth it
When somebody asks you the question "are you ok"? And they get the answer of "yeah I'm fine" it's the biggest lie you can tell so PAY ATTENTION to that
Great discussion.
The "I am" statements we say do perpetuate the issues.
Physical disability cannot be fixed, but not saying negative things about yourself does improve your mood. When exercise is not an option, There are ways to increase blood flow and endorphins without exercise: 1. Laugh, 2. Live, 3. Love.
For me, I laugh at myself (self-deprecating humour is ok so long as you know it's a joke), Live to the best of your ability (work at friendships), Love yourself, because if you don't love yourself, how can you love anyone else?
I can only say that while you're in that frame of mind, it feels like a demon inside and it feels like you can't win. I think that's what he's saying. It shows that he knows what it's like to go through it.
You should watch the live music video to this song. It's so much harder
I think you are absolutely amazing XX
what a great guy and a great up and coming filmmaker
I have the title of this song as a tattoo on my forearm, along with a half lion face, in memory of my best friend that i lost to suicide some years ago, the worst part is, he did it the same way as Chester and in the same year, Chester was and still is the reason i got into rock and metal, this song helped me a lot in dealing with the pain and all the things that went along with it…
I appreciate your work in this platform, you are awesome!
Ps. I found you trough the poet and the pendulum.
And if i can suggest a song:
Delain - we are the others
(Go in blindly then, after your first listen, read the backstory, it will change how you perceive the story of the song)
Beautiful!
I'm still struggling, and quite often when people who know about my depression tell me that things will get better, they will help me and help me get help, I'm also left with the feeling and question; Why? Why should I fight, what if I don't want to? Why can't it just end?
It relates to the question; Why am I here?
As you mention it is easy to self isolate or at least not let new people in whilst in depression, and I think Tool captured it spot on: "I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down"
I remember feeling like that and my best friend replied with, "why not?" At first I was angry, but when I really sat with it, I really realized that I didn't have any special circumstances or qualifications that made me less worthy to be alive. I wanted to fight because I wanted to know what better felt like. I wanted to fight because I didn't want to die feeling like dog crap. I wanted to die one day knowing that I really gave it my all and made some amazing memories even when things weren't easy.
Hi Amanda, hi everyone else,
I just discovered your channel today through your Fade to Black reaction and I've been going through some of your previous videos (such as this one).
I just wanted to take the time to share my story of hope, to show others proof that things can get better.
Since my late teens, I've struggled with self worth issues and low self esteem to the point where I thought of myself as nothing more than a waste of space, an oxygen thief.
During my early twenties, I felt so much hatred for myself and the world around me, and I contemplated just ending it all many times. Somehow, I convinced myself to carry on out of spite for the people I thought hated me - I thought they thought my death was their win condition, to use a gaming term, so I continued to aimlessly exist simply because I thought it was a huge middle finger to them.
Thankfully, I've got an amazingly supportive group of friends, and they've helped me make so much progress towards overcoming my mental health struggles.
I just wanted to write this so that anyone going through tough shit can see proof that there's hope, that there is a way out. It's a long process, but while you're still kicking, there's hope that you can fight your way towards freedom. If you take your own life, then not only have you killed yourself, but you've killed any hope of you recovering and living a healthy, happy, fulfilling life.
So please, keep fighting. Yes, it's hard. No, you don't have to - and you shouldn't have to do it alone. Recovering from mental illness takes time and effort, and you NEED to find people who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you and fight this together; teamwork makes the dream work, after all. There's heaps of ways to find your team. Join a sports club, or take up a martial art, or join a book club, volunteer for something in your community such as down at the animal shelter, or even just making teas and coffees at your local fire station. Doing this, you put yourself out there and you become part of a team, part of something more than yourself. You feel wanted and needed and loved, and that does wonders for your mental health - it certainly did for me!
Stay strong. Keep fighting. Keep breathing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and take on life one day at a time. Find your team. Then one day, you'll look back and realize how far you've come. You might still have a long way to go, but that's fine. There's proof right behind you that you can make progress, that you can ground, and that you can WIN!
I wish everyone all the love, support, and strength they need to beat their mental health struggles, and if you are part of someone's team battling their mental health struggles, please show them this as proof that there is hope.
Love,
A survivor.
Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story of hope and survival and sharing all these great insights and ideas for those struggling! You're right, you never have the chance to heal if you lose your life to suicide and you will miss SO much (I just posted a video about what I would have missed had I jumped.)
Hi Adam, that is a fantastic post, every word of it completely true. Keep up the good work, you are doing great!!👍👍😀
I absolutely love Disturbed and listen to all of their songs regularly. They have a cover of "The Sound of Silence" that Paul Simon even said he liked their version more than his own and that his song was a warning and that theirs was the rage that comes from the warning being ignored. The video is amazing, too.
I love you guys
What you said about lying about being okay is so true. The response to How are you? is so immediate, it's almost Pavlovian.
For me however it also offered an opportunity to keep people away. By saying I'm fine, you make sure people don't ask further.
Such a simple question, with such huge implications.
May I suggest A Splintered Mind by Lord of the Lost?
And Beth Hart, she's an amazing blues/rock singer/songwriter who's struggled with addiction and bi-polar disease. When she performs, she pours her soul out.
I've only discovered your channel in the last couple days... because of distubed. I think you are insightful and intelligent. Your grasp of 'Inside the fire' was spot on. I just want to say... as someone planning his exit from this world...and music takes me as close as I can get till time... the pink ears.... jeebus... it reads as a joke at the expense of.... well.... me. anyway keep up the fight... cause I cant anymore.
Why does the way I choose to accessorize myself make my message and experience any less serious? If you are struggling, please reach out.
Fire and sin, is whatever you want it to be. Depression is both the byproduct and source that feeds our addiction. “Living” is when you learn to bend your depression to support healthier addictions that support life.
Amanda so Beautiful ❤️. Glad to see you posting more videos. We are your support. Hope to see a TOOL reaction soon.
You don't need someone else to fight for. Fight for yourself.
Ozzy's see ya on the other side you will love it great song
The live version really the into their stand and fight
One of the symptoms of my Borderline Personality Disorder is the falling into addiction as a coping method. The demon can be depression, anxiety or addiction, sometimes all 3 at the same time. Personally I have finally gotten to the point in my life that I recognize my relationship struggles are due to my illness and not having a healthy coping method and I can finally work on that, but simultaneously I am afraid to find the healthy relationship I desire. Thank you for doing this Amanda and Jaime 💞
BPD was my diagnosis as well. I had 14 years of two VERY tumultuous relationships and am only now understanding and seeing what a healthy one looks like and that it takes a very intimate self understanding paired with a partner who is patient, compassionate and willing to learn. Don't be afraid. Just don't accept anything less than what you know deep down you deserve.
I think in all of these cases they sang about their issues and a line from an LP song stic ks with me they took what they hated and made it a part of them
I think they kept ripping those wounds open , never letting them heal.
I really like disturbed His voice is so pure that when he explaining the trama it hit you hard as if your there with him
I will do whatever it takes to keep the few people that I care about safe. If that means I have to kill, I'll kill. If it means I have to die, I'll die. My loyalty to them and love for them has no boundary. There is nothing out of reason for me when it comes to protecting them. If my wife was to commit a crime (intentionally or unintentionally) I would take the rap and go to prison in her place so that she could stay out and stay free. I would not let her come to harm. If there's a pulse in my veins, I will protect those I love, no matter what end that may lead me to.
I think therefore I am. Does feed the black dog. Wise words Jamie.
One night I laid in my bed and screamed out as loud as I could while crying my head off and I said COME ON GOD PLEASE TAKE ME PLEASE TAKE ME IF YOU WON'T I'LL DO IT MYSELF UP TO YOU so I got up and grabbed a bunch of pills and took them before I took em I looked up and said I TOLD YOU then I swallowed every pill that was in my hand
I've had similar screaming matches with whatever is out there. I'm happy you're still here!
R.E.M. Everybody Hurts
Disturbed - Hold on to Memories [Official Live Video] is a good one too
"The demon" I call the "Black Dog"!
It does bite and it bites hard. PTSD is food for the Black Dog!
Living alone...I am in my head (a scary place), friendships are important.
Go check out Disturbed's In the Fire and Seether's Rise Above This.
One of the most graphical yet powerful videos on suicide prevention awareness is coming down by five finger death punch. But you must be prepared for it as its confronting.
The song Inside The Fire by Disturbed is a really amazing song about a personal trauma that the lead singer David Draiman went through when he was a teenager. I'd love to watch a reaction by you of it.
That song saved my life
Another good inspirational Disturbed song is "the light"
The live version is so much more powerfu!!
Please check out the REASON TO FIGHT (Official live video)-Disturbed it’s so powerful with testimonials from survivors
Amanda, your videos are great. You talk about things I haven't seen in so many songs.
I hope you get a chance to do songs by Falling in Reverse. The Drug in Me (reimagined) and I'm Not a Vampire are passionate songs about the writer's, Ronnie Radke's, life. I know they will provide you some insight.
you def need to check out inside the fire by disturbed. His girlfriend had taken her own life, and the song is about what he went through after that. I know this song is hard for me to hear as well.... - another survivor
David's mentiom of "just a part of this game", it's a reference to how we who do actually suffer are belittled and relegated to manipulators by those who are trying to kill us by implanting in us the desire to die.
"I find it so hard to believe in you...can it be real this time, or just a part of this game that we're playing through" is said from the point of view of a loved one of the addict, in this case perhaps his wife? It's about the back-and-forth of recovering and then relapsing.
From the point of view of someone who doesn't fully understand what addiction is like it can seem like each attempt to go clean isn't sincere, because the addict relapses shortly afterwards. The game is "I give you an ultimatum: me or the addiction. You promise to get better. You do for a time. Then you relapse. I give you an ultimatum..."
So it's not a "game", per-say, but a repetitive sequence of events which can start to feel like you're both just playing roles rather than making any real progress. This is why she starts the line with "I find it so hard to believe in you"; they've been down this road before, and it always ends in relapse. Why should now be any different?
When the large body (the Ego?) drops the bottle, it's because he's passed out drunk, not because he's metaphorically letting go of the alcohol. The one trapped in the bottle (Superego?) uses the opportunity to roll the bottle from the inside (like a hamster ball) towards the discarded wedding ring, which he grabs and uses to cut himself out of the bottle (diamond being known in popular culture for being hard enough to cleanly cut glass). The symbolism here is beautiful; he is using the power of the love he feels from those close to him to give him the strength to break free from his addiction. That one scene and the symbolism within it is what really makes this music video so great.
Five Finger Death Punch-Coming Down
Great reaction... I am 16 years clean and sober
Proud of you! 💞
I think you'd like "The Fallen" by Saint Asonia. Adam Gontier was inspired by Chester and Chris Cornell, as well as Gord Downey from The Tragically Hip (who died of brain cancer the same year) to write the song.
Whiskey lullaby is a deep and dark song. You should try it.
While I was in the navy, I thought about jumping off the back of the ship in the middle of the night. Having just found out my pregnant fiance was cheating on me. Seemed fitting.
However, I had a daughter on the way, and when I find myself in hard times, I just think of her. She doesn't know this, but she is my rock, and the reason I'm still alive.
Someday I may tell her, but she's still young. So I'll save it for later. If I feel the need to tell her.
I told my 10 year old all that he did to help me and it is something he is proud of. Glad you're here!
Demons can be the anger inside or addiction(s) as well. He's in an alcohol bottle and alcohol battle. He wants it but is given reasons to fight
Tears would have been immediate if you had watched their concert video. Much more emotional.
You should really react to Disturbed's The light. It has such a powerful positive message
Hey, when you want I recommend to you the band called "Citizen Soldier" ! This band is specified by writing songs about suicide or menthal-health problems. Every song is about it and the last song hit different, it calls "Always December" ❄;
They are very blunt in their delivery of their messages, but it is something I have learned to really appreciate and I would absolutely love to see reactions to several of their songs on this channel!
@@ObeliX42 you got it ! Thanks ! 👍🏻💜;
Check out the live version. I cried Luke a baby
I've been trying to define happiness for 6 years now. I still don't know what it is. I expect that I'll find some way to define it at some point. I try not to worry about it, though. Staying on top of the anxiety and bi-polar are the main things for me.
My biggest obstacle now, really, is anhedonia. Through discussions with a couple of psychiatrists, the consensus is that I started dealing with anhedonia in my early-30's, possibly my late-20's. I'm 53 now, and have trouble maintaining interest in anything. I don't watch TV, there's nothing on that interests me on. I eat because it keeps me alive, and sometimes, everything I eat tastes like plain mashed potatoes or cardboard. Doesn't matter what it is. A hug does nothing for me. I don't remember the last movie I watched, or even wanted to watch. There are no day-to-day activities I look forward to, or have interest in. My last psychiatrist recommended going for a walk every day, and I do now. I measured a 1-km route though my neighbourhood, out the front and in the back door. I'm not sure it's helping, but I'll keep doing it for a while. I just zoom through it, takes me about 10 or 15 minutes.
Anhedonia's a really tricky thing to deal with though, since they don't really have a good idea of what causes it. I remember something about dopamine and an overactive pre-frontal cortex. I have read that ketamine can help a lot, and while my connections into the criminal underworld could get me all the Vitamin K I could ever need, I think I need to see more research first, you know, before shooting myself full of animal tranquilizer.
I've already dealt with taking the wrong meds, when I was misdiagnosed in 2016 and was given SSRI's, it got unpleasant. Bi-polar people shouldn't be given SSRI's, I lost the first half or so of 2019 after the crash off of them. My memories of everything from the summer before my attempt on my life, to about July 2019, are either; A) non-existent, B) fragmented, or C) surreal. The memory problems persist, though they aren't affecting my long-term memory as much anymore. My short-term memory is getting better, up to about a week or so, mostly. My focus has gotten better, and I should be allowed to return to work soon. The anxiety around that is a whole other discussion...
That sounds like a very frustrating and isolating existence. I am very proud of you for continuing to try and search. I was in that state where absolutely nothing held joy and the world was either bland or excruciating. It took me a while to go through trial and error of changing lifestyle habits and trying new things before things started shifting. Meds were hell for me (though street drugs became pretty awful too) so I completely understand your ambivalence. I know Anhedonia is treated in conjunction with the accompanying disorder and the things (such as nutrition shifts and balancing nutrients) that improve symptoms of depression also improve the anhedonia.
@@MentalAmanda it took a little while to process somebody being proud of me, I don't hear that anymore, really. The 8th anniversary of my mom's death is tomorrow, the 28th, so my head gets polluted with lots of negative thoughts at this time. So that nice thought of somebody being proud, of me, is just what I needed, at just the right moment.
Thanks,
-Mark
Using the message from the other Disturbed song Inside The Fire, Aching for the fire could be interpreted as the desire to commit suicide. He refers to committing suicide himself in order to join his girlfriend who had already committed suicide herself as the only way of seeing her again.
Red Light Kings - Something for The Pain.
Please react to the live version!!!!
You should check out “The Light” by Disturbed
T00L - Parabol, Parabola & The Patient.
hey i have a question for you would you react on one or two songs that would be awesome the first one is Nomy - can´t help falling in love and the second is from volbeat - last day under the sun. thanks if you do a react ^^ and if you have time i have a third one thats also from nomy called flowers in your hair.
React to Malukah - Reignite - Mass Effect/Shepard Tribute Song. It paints a picture of not giving up no matter the odds against an enemy.
Consider doing a video reaction for Five finger death punch songs the bleeding and Remember everything
Or within temptation say my name x
The pandemic made things worse for a lot of people but, ironically, that may have helped in bringing forward mental conditions to the public, normalising it a little more. That should be good as long as it doesn't trivialise it (e.g. "I was lonely at times during covid, we all were, get over it").
Try see you on the other side Ozzy Osbourne
I have to politely disagree with not liking the demon term. During my battle with alcoholism it made me fight harder. Stopping the demon from controlling you and instead controlling the demon was one of the best feelings I ever had.
Mine is my Shadow. I am for whatever analogy one needs to overcome. I've caught myself saying demon before too, though Jaime did over a unique perspective to consider as well.
@@MentalAmanda I would never take anyone's terminology from them. My daughter gave me my term. That is why it made me fight harder. I never want her to see me as a demon again and that is why I continue to fight for control, even when it seems like all is lost.
Try Jacqueline van bierk the calling x
Plz don't take my comment as negative but please rewatch this song but make sure it's the live concert version gives, the song much more meaning.
OMG I've always worried about what everybody else thought about me I never took time and stepped aside and thought about my self-worth. And I struggle everyday with that but for some strange reason I know I'm better than that but then demons always talk in your head to make you feel undermined it and let me tell you I struggle with that everyday some days I say I'm worth it but with a big majority of days I don't think I'm worth it........
I guess what I'm trying to say is it's like A.A it's a cunning and baffling disease...... but as far as I think of things it's kind of the same concept if you know what I mean
I guess our mind and how we think and our upbringing and what Society has to say about people like us feeling depressed sad whatever it may be my downfall was always worrying about how everybody thought about you and I am now just learning this after being 45 years on this Earth helmet people think about you it's how you feel about yourself and I struggle with that everyday I carry that burden with me everyday I'm always thinking am I doing the right thing where am I going to say the right thing...
I'm constantly in my head thinking is there something going to happen let me get the answer before it happens and that's not the way life works and that in itself is a demon of our own thoughts and I'll tell you it's a scary place to be constantly thinking about that and it's a struggle I honestly wish I could somehow or some way get a support group up without involving any medications or drugs just people getting together and screaming from the top of their lungs or cursing up a storm whatever it maybe I would like to get it support group up like that to where you can walk into a room sit around for an hour or two a scream from the top of your lungs to get whatever you have off your chest and knowing the group of people that you're around he's not going to judge you when they walk outside that room from my experience and from what I know that's the problem you're afraid to talk to somebody in a group without them talking in the background about you I would like to get a support group up to where we can talk we can vent or cry and knowing at the end of that session and knowing people are going to give you a hug and try to uplift you from how you're feeling but the most important thing in life is let them demons out of your head and stop always thinking the worst about yourself
I would like to start something that is a safe haven to where people like us can go let out or aggressions and frustrations without hurting ourselves or others so if you or anybody else is reading this and you have an idea and going about setting up something I would really like your input and everybody else's
Thank you so much for your video once again how inspiring and how more eager and pissed off I would love to kill ........DEPRESSION ......
So Amanda if you have any thoughts on what I was saying I would like to hear your feedback as well as your followers on TH-cam
Thanks
Here we have "rage rooms" where people pay a fee to just go break things in a room. TVs, mirrors, chairs, bottles. Quite therapeutic. Is that kinda what you have in mind?
@@MentalAmanda yeah that's kind of cool and all but I'm not really a destructive person anymore I've been too destructive throughout my life and to tell you the truth I rather talk about my problems then do anything else besides that.... my type of flipping out and getting a hostile is yelling and screaming at the wrong people that care about me which is very few regardless of all that I honestly feel that I rather talk it out with somebody and keep a level head about things and where I'm at at that time
And sometimes it really sucks because I really don't have a big support group we're really too many friends I really had to cut most of them off because they're bad influences and they are toxic I'm trying to live my life to have positive people in my life and that's all I need I don't want the negative BS in my life anymore............... but out of nowhere and by somehow I seen that one video from Metallica....... and I seen how you reacted and that right there broke my heart enough to say let me reach out to you because reaching out to you helps me but it also helps you and that is the best analogy I can give??? And how funny things turn out I have listened to that song a million times growing up but it took a new meaning for me to watch what you went through watching that video....... I used to think of that song as a badass song until I watched you experience it for the first time and that's what made me open up it's because of you and how you view the video and the lyrics to that song I just want to say thank you what a beautiful sight and different aspects of your opinion and it broke my heart to watch you watch that video it darn near killed me to watch you get upset like that that broke my heart the most out of everything that is why I subscribed to your Channel and would love to know more about your Channel no matter which side it's on
Bottom line is is what I'm saying I would love to speak with you when the phone and see what I can do on my part on where the state that I live in and to tell you the truth I've been through a lot of your struggles and yes I'm still going through my own butt with helping other people that makes each other better in life I don't want to sell a Shakespeare again hahaha or sound like Josh Groban with the song you lift me up put in one aspect you did I just want to help people like us and I 100% agree we need to speak out on this much more than would have spoken on....
Amanda the only true words I can say is thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart God bless you and your family I really honestly wish nothing but the best but I would really love to talk to you to see what I can do in my community can maybe get started and maybe Converse here and there so we can put the word out
THAT WE ARE NOT ALONE.
And one final thing I love what you're doing I wish I had more guts to put myself out there and say what you already did
PS I'll tell you one thing you have lifted up my spirits and everything above that thank you I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart thank you thank you thank you thank you AKA Shakespeare hahaha I love you girl thank you for everything that you do.....😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤ you are the best
@@MentalAmanda I know you're saying I know I left you another message but I just can't express enough I thank you thank you and only you for breaking me out of my shell and thank you for giving me a chance to speak out
I want to scream from the top of my lungs out of hope thankfulness anger aggression but more than anything I want to shout out just a simple thank you and I don't connect with people like that but hearing your words somehow I connect it to you and thank you for all your feedback and your encouragement
Now I have a new positive goals in life let's get together and kick ass about depression I hope you're in and I hope your followers are also in We Are Not Alone we are all together as one I hope in some way we can get together and kick it in the ass😀😀😀😀😀😀😀❤💕💞❤💕💞❤💕💞THEIRS HOPE
I know I found a little bit of hope!!!!
Thank you Amanda