I don’t want a label, I want words for my struggles. I also want to relate to other people who share the same diagnosis. I wanna overcome the feeling of being the only one who has to deal with all those things. I want to talk to other people and listen to their ideas and solution they found to their problems as well.
I feel for you. I don't crave diagnosis just to put labels on my problems, I need a word that I can google to get knowledge and put myself in battle with other people
Thank you. I think part of why is been so hard to have mental health taken seriously or to get people help that they need is in big part because people watch so many others where a diagnosis (or perceived one) as a badge of honor or something that makes that more important. As well as using it as a get out of jail free card on everything. Even if the cause was 100% on someone else's head, you are still 100% responsible for what you do after. Yes, they can make things harder, but it's now on you to get help, go through the work and heal and grow. You can find people who are willing to walk with you and be understanding as you learn to grow, but it's not a free pass to treat people how ever you want, get out of anything you don't like or make demands of others. In my opinion it's rather selfish, as their behavior then ends up making things so much harder for others who are trying to get help and grow.
I think this was a very healthy outlook on things, labels are just what we allow them to be and using mental health as an excuse is so common because I think a lot of people don't even know what their issues are, how to manage them or see their problems as problems. CBT is one of the main reasons I'm not a giant a*****e anymore but it took a near death experience to want to stop unintentionally hurting others, so I get why a lot of people don't want to work on themselves, ego is loud AF. Trying to get a diagnosis, went through a psyche exploration, not super attached to the results.
I'm on a very, very long (and expensive) waitinglist for BOTH ADHD and ASD. I was told by an adhd clinic that I needed to get ASD ruled out first, and now -almost 5 years later- I accepted the suggested and de-stigmatized having autism in myself if that is the case. I can't validate it or the ADHD for myself, I simply cannot. I need them diagnosed so I know exactly what specific needs they have that I can work on to make my life less challenging than it has been. I've been using some asd accommodations for myself and they're fantastic for my brain (sometimes) and other times I swap to a bit more chaotic ish and those work instead. I'm pretty sure I have both, but knowing SPECIFICALLY and having it labelled -for me- is like diagnosing a broken leg. I will keep walking on a broken leg until I am told it is broken and I need to get tf off of it. xD
ADHD and BPD and possible bipolar since the mood meds are working. I'm scared to death of everyone finding out at work since its stigmatized and they probably would think I'm making it up since I'm different but not "that different" but I will say the BPD being treated better with DBT instead of CBT has been pretty great so the diagnosis was nice in that way to look for the way forward.
@askkatianything I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I’ve been watching your videos on and off over the years and I’ve always found them very helpful. You’ve helped me through some pretty dark times and for that I am very grateful. Thanks again for everything that you do and to keep being your awesome self!!
Working through PTSD from a tour to Iraq, (13 years later 🙄) now I'm 80% certain I have autism. I'm planning on being assessed next year but my question is: do I need to take a different approach to PTSD therapy and healing? My symptoms have plateaued so I'm sure the "time heals all wounds" figure of speech was a lie. I want to continue the pursuit for help but not if the VA isn't going to accommodate certain social differences that have only gotten worse after OIF.
What happens when you get a diagnosis but it’s the last thing you wanted? I got a mental health diagnosis this week that I don’t want to have. I’d give almost anything not to have it.
I felt this way when a clinition suggested I could have ASD. I hated it. I railed against it and I felt disgusted and broken by it. Primarily, in my case, because I thought people who had it were less-than. This may not be the case for you, and I suggest learning about it. You don't have to like it. Gods know I hate my trauma and all the symptoms of c-ptsd I fight myself with every day, but the more I learn about it the more manageable it has become and the less I feel like it rules my life. I've seen similar things from people with NPD, OCD, ASD, etc. The more you know the more control you can feel like you have.
I wonder if maybe "responsibility" and "excuses" are being confounded here? One can only take responsibility for something one can and know how to control. Something they are unable to control, they might not have learned how to do so for example, they should not be blamed for or be held accountable for. This is not an excuse, this is a cause. A diagnosis is a label that can serve as a recognition that a person have limited abilities to control themselves (for example) - again, this is not an excuse. The same goes for if the person is unable to understand that a behaviour of theirs is unacceptable, again not an excuse, but they cannot be held responsible for not understanding - whether this is because they happen to be young kids, or if they're adults with, say, autism, doesn't change the fact that they cannot be held accountable. Now if they do understand, and are able to control themselves, and yet don't do it for one reason or another, then they should be held accountable. Therapy is supposed to help the person find ways to take control over themselves so that they can make choices about their own behaviour, and this will also make them accountable. With (great) power comes (great) responsibility. With no power comes no responsibility, it's unfair to assign the powerless accountability.
I don’t want a label, I want words for my struggles. I also want to relate to other people who share the same diagnosis. I wanna overcome the feeling of being the only one who has to deal with all those things. I want to talk to other people and listen to their ideas and solution they found to their problems as well.
I feel for you. I don't crave diagnosis just to put labels on my problems, I need a word that I can google to get knowledge and put myself in battle with other people
You are seriously such a psychological genius and so insightful and helpful. Thanks Kati!
Thank you. I think part of why is been so hard to have mental health taken seriously or to get people help that they need is in big part because people watch so many others where a diagnosis (or perceived one) as a badge of honor or something that makes that more important. As well as using it as a get out of jail free card on everything. Even if the cause was 100% on someone else's head, you are still 100% responsible for what you do after. Yes, they can make things harder, but it's now on you to get help, go through the work and heal and grow. You can find people who are willing to walk with you and be understanding as you learn to grow, but it's not a free pass to treat people how ever you want, get out of anything you don't like or make demands of others. In my opinion it's rather selfish, as their behavior then ends up making things so much harder for others who are trying to get help and grow.
I think this was a very healthy outlook on things, labels are just what we allow them to be and using mental health as an excuse is so common because I think a lot of people don't even know what their issues are, how to manage them or see their problems as problems. CBT is one of the main reasons I'm not a giant a*****e anymore but it took a near death experience to want to stop unintentionally hurting others, so I get why a lot of people don't want to work on themselves, ego is loud AF. Trying to get a diagnosis, went through a psyche exploration, not super attached to the results.
I'm on a very, very long (and expensive) waitinglist for BOTH ADHD and ASD. I was told by an adhd clinic that I needed to get ASD ruled out first, and now -almost 5 years later- I accepted the suggested and de-stigmatized having autism in myself if that is the case. I can't validate it or the ADHD for myself, I simply cannot. I need them diagnosed so I know exactly what specific needs they have that I can work on to make my life less challenging than it has been. I've been using some asd accommodations for myself and they're fantastic for my brain (sometimes) and other times I swap to a bit more chaotic ish and those work instead. I'm pretty sure I have both, but knowing SPECIFICALLY and having it labelled -for me- is like diagnosing a broken leg.
I will keep walking on a broken leg until I am told it is broken and I need to get tf off of it. xD
ADHD and BPD and possible bipolar since the mood meds are working. I'm scared to death of everyone finding out at work since its stigmatized and they probably would think I'm making it up since I'm different but not "that different" but I will say the BPD being treated better with DBT instead of CBT has been pretty great so the diagnosis was nice in that way to look for the way forward.
@askkatianything I just wanted to say thank you for everything you do. I’ve been watching your videos on and off over the years and I’ve always found them very helpful. You’ve helped me through some pretty dark times and for that I am very grateful. Thanks again for everything that you do and to keep being your awesome self!!
I got diagnosed with osdd at 57!!!!
Working through PTSD from a tour to Iraq, (13 years later 🙄) now I'm 80% certain I have autism. I'm planning on being assessed next year but my question is: do I need to take a different approach to PTSD therapy and healing? My symptoms have plateaued so I'm sure the "time heals all wounds" figure of speech was a lie. I want to continue the pursuit for help but not if the VA isn't going to accommodate certain social differences that have only gotten worse after OIF.
What happens when you get a diagnosis but it’s the last thing you wanted? I got a mental health diagnosis this week that I don’t want to have. I’d give almost anything not to have it.
I felt this way when a clinition suggested I could have ASD. I hated it. I railed against it and I felt disgusted and broken by it. Primarily, in my case, because I thought people who had it were less-than. This may not be the case for you, and I suggest learning about it. You don't have to like it. Gods know I hate my trauma and all the symptoms of c-ptsd I fight myself with every day, but the more I learn about it the more manageable it has become and the less I feel like it rules my life.
I've seen similar things from people with NPD, OCD, ASD, etc. The more you know the more control you can feel like you have.
I wonder if maybe "responsibility" and "excuses" are being confounded here? One can only take responsibility for something one can and know how to control. Something they are unable to control, they might not have learned how to do so for example, they should not be blamed for or be held accountable for. This is not an excuse, this is a cause. A diagnosis is a label that can serve as a recognition that a person have limited abilities to control themselves (for example) - again, this is not an excuse. The same goes for if the person is unable to understand that a behaviour of theirs is unacceptable, again not an excuse, but they cannot be held responsible for not understanding - whether this is because they happen to be young kids, or if they're adults with, say, autism, doesn't change the fact that they cannot be held accountable. Now if they do understand, and are able to control themselves, and yet don't do it for one reason or another, then they should be held accountable. Therapy is supposed to help the person find ways to take control over themselves so that they can make choices about their own behaviour, and this will also make them accountable. With (great) power comes (great) responsibility. With no power comes no responsibility, it's unfair to assign the powerless accountability.
I got diagnosed with ASD this week so this episode has a perfect timing and is super helpful. Thank you Kati 🤍
I was diagnosed 2 years ago. I highly recommend Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price. It's a great book and Dr. Price is autistic themself!
@Fangtastic94 I am going to look into it, thank you so much for recommending!
nice ! congrats ! :D
I was just diagnosed with ASD as well.