00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
This was one of the most pleasant episodes to listen to. The way Brian talks to Rachel and talks about Rachel is so respectful. He gets his message across but is still so polite. I wish them all the best.
I agree! It was especially nice to see after some of the toxic guys who have been on here denigrating their wives. He had a really sweet way of talking to and about her.
My note is for Brian, my Dad cut me off cold turkey in my early twenties. It was one of the best learning experiences for me. However the cold turkey created a lot of anger so I don't suggest doing cold turkey. I would suggest buying your daughter the audible of "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" and buying the journal for the both of you. Go through it with her and teach her about money. Letting her know at the end of the book and journal you would have helped teach her about money and you are cutting her off. This will be a huge benefit and a life changing experience for her. Then take that money you'd give her and invest it!
I'd like to think that if Brian's daughters saw this episode, they would understand both how much their father loves them and wants to help, and how/why it's important to wean them off the support and become self-sufficient. It's obviously not something he takes lightly, but because it has the potential to set back his retirement he is going to have to do something. I really appreciate the way this topic came up in this video -- it provided me with an opportunity to discuss the situation with my wife, even though we are several years away from having to make similar choices.
Great comment! I moved out when I was 18 and managed working, paying living expenses, college completely on my own. Made an enormous positive difference in my life looking back from 35 years later.
After watching some rather discouraging follow-ups recently, it is great to see a couple of mature people willing to work through their situation and put forth changes. Best wishes to Rachel & Brian.
This couple is awesome. Their ability to listen to each other. Understand each others perspective, and care about their feelings and desires for the future. It’s so refreshing!!! They are on the track to live a beautiful happy retirement life together. What a blessing and great job to them both!
I really appreciate that the producers left her whole story about the financial advisor in. Its super helpful to hear exactly what lines the FA tried to use, amd how she eventually got out of it (and inspiring).
At about 30:in she describes working with the financial advisor. When my husband passed and I inherited his 401K, I also, just like her, had a “meeting” with his company’s advisor- The story is THE SAME! and these were backloaded and I tried so hard to get out. These were Principal proprietary funds. It took me over two years to get out. I agree it was a subtle trick. I moved to Vanguard. With my own 401K also. Listening to her story is like looking in the mirror. I felt awful, too. She tells her story VERY well!
Ramit, I think that including couples who are nearing retirement - and evaluating their readiness and/or conflicts - to your program would be enlightening for many viewers. That's an entirely different world from the usual credit card debt crowd, and it would expand your audience accordingly. I appreciated this episode.
Learning about her parents was really eye-opening. It’s so hard to become a young adult and realize that your parents are human with flaws. Especially when those flaws are big flaws about fundamental things it really sucks when you love your family and you grow up and you start to see those flaws and you realize how they’re affecting your life And that you now have to start pushing back on it.
Yeah what her parents did was insanely narcissistic... buy a house with no job or career experience to speak of, just to give us a tax credit! Nope. Naughty parents. Bad....
That financial adviser story was rage inducing. It's sad that right now people are still getting scammed in the same way. The best we can do is try to educate our friends and family on these issues. The good news is that she eventually did the right thing and moved it to her own account at Vanguard (I literally LOL'ed when she said the Financial Adviser told her not to trust Vanguard).
I loved when Ramit said that our bank accounts are not correlated to how we feel about money!! You hear this all the time in lots of manifestation spaces and coaching - that our bank accounts reflect how "magnetic, abundant, healed" our relationship is with money, but it's not true and this is a perfect reverse example. She has loads of money, but feels unsafe and insecure STILL about money. On the contrary, some people live very simply, making just enough to live how they wish, by societal standards do not have "abundance" in the bank , yet they feel safe, secure and at ease with money. Thank you Ramit! I love your pod!
So lovely to see a couple who clearly care for their partners well being. Even though it took this show to address some things head on, the way they both stayed open, calm and receptive was extremely encouraging. They are a team. Wishing them all the best.
agree! I wonder if it's because they're relatively early in their marriage (8 years) for their age (50s). They've probably learned a lot of hard lessons over the years with previous partners.
She absolutely proved why you should pay off your house Invested money and didn’t get the return she thought she would Almost lost home. Paying off your home is a GUARANTEED return.
@@oscarrodriguez1068 she invested with an advisor who screwed her over, investing itself isnt the problem. Their mortgage is only 2.25% which is super low, if it is was in today's rates they'd have a better argument for paying it down.
@@oscarrodriguez1068it’s a guarantee to not get a return on your money. I get it, some people are more emotionally driven in their finance choices and some are math driven. Neither are wrong. But you stated it’s a guaranteed rate of return to pay off your mortgage, but equity it a home is dead money. It’s just sits there forever doing NOTHING for you but give you peace of mind. It doesn’t earn money. It doesn’t cash flow. It’s a 0.0% interest savings account that you can’t touch (unless you take out a HELOC). For some that is a blessing, but i have $600k in equity in my home right now and it kills me to think of what I could be doing with some of that money if it were invested vs sitting in there sleeping until I sell my house.
When people say, money is cheap and rates are low, I say... Can you put a price on my peace of mind? That's where we all struggle, if you can't place a value there then you can't determine the value of paying off a mortgage.
@@oscarrodriguez1068 We got our home Oct 2022 and immediately started to pay extra to principal only payments. Already saved 190k in interest alone, we did not have to wait for the return on investment, the savings are immediate. Also, don't have to pay taxes on the 190k of savings.
I love the way this couple communicates. There’s so much love, respect, kindness, and patience. The episode title is misleading .. but it’s a wonderful episode.
This has been one of the best episodes I've watched. I love how open their communication is to one another! Thanks for this Ramit, and thank you Brian and Rachel!
We learn so much from your videos. These are real people, thus we can relate with so many things.
9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11
I feel so much like Rachel. My husband and I are both frugal and save and max out our 401k/IRAs each year - we are blessed with great incomes. Yet we clip coupons and bargain shop and save, save, save. But spending that savings on a big purchase is too terrifying. We both come from homes where nothing was certain and there wasn't enough money. We are trying to make sure that we always have enough for our kids. When he said "How much do you need to have saved to feel comfortable?" and she had no answer... this is something my husband and I talk about often. I don't feel like it will ever be enough, but also - we can't take it with us when we go. When should we start really enjoying it? Really great episode. This one REALLY spoke to me.
I mostly agree, except that college tuition has risen exponentially. As a college student in the 1980's, we could afford to pay back our loans. Wages have not risen in proportion to tuition costs.
Being the financial safety net they pull away without warning like in Beths case or in his case the daughters will get used to it and suddenly he gets ill or retires or both. 😮
I am so happy you took the step and showed them how reallocating their extra mortgage payment to investments would skyrocket their net worth. Going through the reality of the math was eye opening. They are so loving to each other and just were not aware due to all the past consuming stories and experiences that cloud the math.
The math isn’t really correct because 1, it should be 7 - mortgage rate and 2, he is going to retire soon so his part of the extra payment would go away. In any case you are lighting money on fire by paying off a low interest mortgage early.
What a wonderful couple. What an example of what maturity and accountability in love looks like. She is terrific and he is a great example for other men. Thank you both 💗
A "financial advisor" saying that their service is free is like a house-cleaner saying that their cleaning service is free if they don't take an hourly rate and instead get a percentage of the value of your house forever until you sell the house.
Loved their healthy, respectful, calm communication! I can understand how strange it seems to have such separate finances, especially when married, however as someone who's a survivor of financial abuse, I can understand why it's a defense mechanism. I think this couple have a very successful time ahead of them & I wish them the best :)
Not sure why Ramit is using 15 years to show how much they can make if they just shifted their additional payments to investments. At the rate they are currently going their mortgage will be paid off in under two years. At that point if they direct that $30,000/year in addition to the $1,702/month they no longer have to pay, they'll have over $1MM after only 13 years.
Ramit is not always particularly rigorous in his analysis of alternatives, I think he was just showing an example of compound interest. But I agree he left out half of the equation.
Agreed, and when he bumped it out to 20 years I said out loud "wait, Brian isn't going to be saving 30k/year until he's SEVENTY EIGHT!!" -- it's like Ramit lost the plot for a minute there. I know compound interest is exciting (trust me, it is) and I appreciate 'committing to the bit', but that was taking it way too far.
Listening to her nightmare with that financial advisor I am so glad to have access to the government TSP. They only offer you proper stocks and the lowest management fees for investment accounts. The best part is you don't have to deal with people, they make it easy to learn and self direct to a certain point.
Same! I feel so sorry for her! Dealing with the arrogant dude must have felt horrible. The gaslighting that she can't do it on her own etc. Disgusting and predatory. I wish him a lot of karma.
This was a really interesting episode and a really lovely couple. I do wish that the central question-Can he afford to retire in the next 2 years?-had been addressed directly. She made a great point that was not discussed, which is that his pension is only 480k. It's just not enough to retire on with his current expenses. It made no sense to input 15k per year for him into the investment calculator when the goal is to retire in a year or two. Using his half of the extra mortgage payment to invest is a great idea, but it only works (in terms of reducing their money stresses) if they can reduce his other expenses. They may struggle to do that and then they won't have really changed anything. I hope he finds the strength to let his daughters stand on their own two feet sooner rather than later. It will be the best gift he can ever give them.
I love the way you mention at the beginning how much you enjoyed the conversation. I watch the podcast every week, and I really appreciate moments like that at the beginning that 'set the tone' for the viewer -- and the little side quest mission of "pay attention to XYZ." Love that!
It blows my mind how people have been married for so long and they have no idea what each other's finances look like. It's like they don't talk at all. That's a foreign concept to me.
People will take on different personas around money. For those who make it, they tend to enforce their monetary dominance and habits. Often in the name of taking the burden off the lessor earner they treat them like a child around finances. But the moment they need help they want them to be immediately prepared and perform as the main contributor.
I'm married to my husband since 2010... and he's not like me at all.. so i keep it separate since i was head of house prior for a decade. He gives me a certain $ amt and i pay the bills. He just doesn't have the little bit of ambition that i do... We have a SN child so we stay together and try to make it work. It's not that simple as people say. I came into relationship w my house. I guess i married wrong person but too late now.
@@jennifermoffitt4635it’s never too late to realize you married the wrong person! Rather than accepting that an unhappy life is your fate, have the courage to go live your true RICH life
After listening to it, their CSP is $2.3mill but they are worth a lot more than that! Lots of money in different nooks and crannies not accounted for. That’s awesome, congrats!!
The part about having more property, and Brian threw out the value of "1.2 million" -- something there didn't seem like it added up at all. It's hard to believe their primary residence, second house, and all that property only added up to $800k in assets.
@@chriswolskeyup, exactly. There was a few moments like that where stuff “slipped out” and seems to be even higher than what was reported. Not to mention any inheritance when his dad (bank CEO for decades) passes away. And a few other things mentioned as well that didn’t align with the CSP.
someone in comment section mentioned that kids will not like beign cut off as they will see their dad with land, paid off properties living his best life. But this should inspire them to do the same on their own, no student loans and wealthy background already gives them a leg up and its not fair to constantly compare themsleves to their dad who got and gets help from his dad (we can't begrduge people's priviledge, its just how things are). As a parent myself i would like to see my kids do something amazing on their own, there is no greater joy ! of course, they get to inherit when i pass away, but that should be just cherry on top which I hope they donate to those who need. :) as always a great episode !
I deeply admire the way that this couple talks about each other and to each other. Their respect and love for one another is inspiring. They have the perfect foundation of humility, kindness, and love that they need to have the rich life they deserve.
I loved the openness and transparency these two show on this episode. Even after all they’ve been through. I love they continually learn from one another.
I'm sorry, what? Why was selling the 2nd property not mentioned as an option? I"m not sure if I missed that she sold it. Why is that sticking around- Rachel should sell that or rent it out to make extra income. Problem solved. If having 2 properties plus 40 acres of land isn't enough I have no idea what will make her feel more secure.
yeah I wonder if it is rented, they said she manages it so maybe it is and thats part of her income. If its paid off and making money over maintenance and taxes then its good to hold on to.
You can tell that these two love, and more specifically, CARE about each other. I hope they get everything they want in life. Their problems is about the anxiety, not the money and that's so nice to see. They having been doing just about everything right but was still tripping up over things they shouldn't have been if they communicating on. Love to see the growth.
If they put their name on the title, they can take the itemized deductions- mortgage interest, property taxes etc while she pays all of those expenses herself and can only take the standard deduction.
@@devorahanatolia8999 ah theres places that let you buy in to independent living that increases help as you need it, maybe 500k-2million buy in depending on how nice the place is. Seems like he can afford that and still have money left over.
Love the video and this couple was very interesting Just a small suggestion. I really like the visuals with the CSP and the highlighted figures in this video. It might be nice to include the footage of you and your guests in a smaller frame off to the side, overlayed on top of it as you discuss the numbers when the table is shown, to keep seeing everyone’s reactions and silent body language. Thank you for the content!
Thanks for another great episode. My favorite part is when the wife says she wishes she had a paid off house... oh wait our second house is in fact already paid off. They're so lucky you helped them with some fresh ideas and it sounds like they have a good path forward. I made the mistake after college of rushing to pay off my student loan debt. Paying off 4-7 pct interest caused me to miss out on the SP500 doubling. Live and learn
The SP500 only doubles because it makes 7% on avr on it. No need to feel bad about paying off a 7% debt. Would you take a loan to invest in SP500 right now? It is same as not paying an existing off and prioritizing investment, math wise.
This was one of my favorite episodes! You can tell the love and care they have for each other. Especially how she stated she wants her husband to feel as relax and stressfree about money as she does!
My first time listening to one of your podcasts and loved it, especially the emotions and incompletions due to past, unresolved money events. Thanks for being so comprehensive with your approach.
Sell half the baseball cards, put the 30k from your dad to the house. Bam! Mortgage done in 1-2 years. As for helping your kids, i bet they will be upset knowing you have 40 acre, 1 paid off house and 2.3M TNW with your dad gifting you 30k per year but not helping them. Offer your kids to stay home, wean them off slowly. This economy is very hard on young adults.
If I were him, I would just send Granddad's money straight down to the daughters, maybe give them both an allowance for a couple of years if he wants, and let them pay all of their own bills. By paying the bills directly he's not teaching them anything, and not giving them an incentive to earn more money or move to a cheaper place. I also think it's unfair that he's giving one daughter more than the other.
Yup thinking the same! Brian can afford to retire early regardless and it'd be selfish to cut off the daughters completely! If I was being helped by my parents, I'd love/expect to pay it forward.
@@LabradorsAreGoodDogs everyone working together across generations to help the next generation succeed is a beautiful thing, and the only thing that really matters as I’m old now. We have to stop discounting this in our country. And our daughter’s lab service dog is the best of the best of the best of good :)
I love this couple - just the way they speak to and about each other is heart warming. I love Rachel because I understand her and her desire to want the debt gone even when it doesn’t make sense. 😬
my wife and I have a hybrid system - we have one joint account and deposit an agreed amount into it once a month; regular joint expenses like all home expenses, groceries, supplies, eating out together - come out of this joint account. Individual expenses - clothes, grooming, personal hobbies, etc, we pay out of our own personal accounts. For joint vacations, we pay out of a joint credit card, then figure out the total expenses and each contribute half of that into the joint account. It has worked like a charm. Most importantly, we never have arguments about prioritizing personal expenses such as clothes, hobbies, etc.
She’s saying shes relaxed yet all the stress is coming from her side - she can’t even rationalise the losses of growth because of the irrational fear of debt 1:26:00
I didnt realize that was a midwestern thing. I thought it was just an American thing. We are told we have to save forever because there is no safety net. (dont get me started on the joke that Social Security is - no one can live on that)
I just loved this couple! There is so much love & respect here and when you have that, you have everything. I think even when you have separate finances it is important to know where the other person is financially, what kind of debt/credit they have etc. I know this is dark (or as I like to call it: pragmatic) but I always think of what would happen in the case of a divorce and go from there. For example, you should structure your finances in a way that a judge would rule if you were divorced: who would end up paying whom support? Are you on the hook for the other person's debt? How would your joint property be divided? I find when you look at your income and assets from a legal POV (obvz, YMMV based on the laws where you live) it gives you perspective on how you may want to structure your finances and what your concerns should be in a worst case scenario such as divorce or death. (not that I expect this couple to break up! They are clearly amazing together! I just mean in general.)
This was a Great Episode Ramit! I think one of the main challenges that is facing Brian and is affecting their relationship is that he is keeping supporting his ADULT daughter. I have the feelings that his daughters are very dependent from grandpa and Brain.
Huge fan of this show. No one is a bigger Ramit fan than I am. My math brain needs to challenge Ramit’s calculation of paying off the home. Running the numbers is taking the different between what Ramit calculated vs not investing for 3 years ( expected payoff timeline ) and then adding the 2500 to the mortgage payment being made and what is that calculated for 12 years. If their mortgage is 2k then they are investing 4500 for 13 years vs 2500 for 15 years. At the end of the day it is a wash
Plus I think the point of eliminating the mortgage was to decrease expenses in retirement. They wouldn’t be continuing to invest that money necessarily. They’d just be drawing less from their investments since their living expenses are less.
Loving watching your podcast. Learning a lot and laughing out loud, I thought i was the only one that didn’t get financial literacy! This should be a curriculum in schools. I’m so impressed!
An alternate way to deal with the mortgage could be a high yield savings account. There are many out there right now that are paying around 5% interest. Putting any extra they want to pay into that and then when that equals the remaining mortgage, paying only out of that would yield ~2.5% and then start doing full investing after that point. Once the mortgage is paid off, all of the money that's remaining in that account is just gravy. If at some point, the yield of the account drops below their mortgage rate, they could just pay off the whole mortgage then.
Great episode! I'm glad they were on. It's clear that they have a very good relationship, and that they needed help to look at their money picture, together. I hopep he will sell his collection and put that to investments ASAP, I think that'd really help them out and is exciting. I'm glad they found a way to still be working on the goal of paying the mortgage off at a faster rate, which was a value they had, while also lightening the load. Its good to realize there's nore than one way to go about goals! I wonder if they could do something like put that into HYSA and then write a big check when the balance enough. That'd have gotten them interest during the few years and give flexibility...
Its is scarry to combine income because of life experience. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we JUST joined incomes. But I see now the power of combining income. Now we will be able to pay off debt faster and save up money
I absolutely loved this episode and how they love and treat each other!! Also make me learn things about me how I think about money, in many ways similar to Rachel!! 😱 Thanks so much to Ramit and your guests!! 🙏
I am a single mom and am pretty much always in a very different situation than any of the guests on the show. HOWEVER, I love watching because I take what I can learn and apply it to my own rich life. I appreciate all the guests being willing to come onto the show with transparency and a willingness to listen and learn. This show has helped me a lot. Thank you everybody.
Wow! I really love hearing this!.. thank you for sharing your story. Their's story really is an eyes open how people seeing $$$. Even for some, in my eyes they're set! But here she is,worries! There's not enough!. The up bringing really does make her becoming this person. Don't get me wrong, I love that she is so focused and dedicated to her future saving Thank you for sharing.
Would really like to see more couples that are not high earners or high net worth individuals. An average income is far more relatable than people "struggling" with plenty of funds and resources available to them.
Thanks for your comment. I host guests from all over the socioeconomic spectrum on this podcast -- from couples making different amounts of money, different backgrounds and sexual orientations, different views on money. We have LOTS of episodes like you mentioned, so please dig through our archives including audio and video. One thing I want to mention: Even though you may not be able to directly relate to certain incomes, I still think there are things you can learn. For example, many of us assume that our money problems will vanish when we have more money. The high-earning couples on my pod show that's not true! In many ways, the higher-earning couples are crystal balls into many people's future: that if you don't tackle your money psychology today, it will persist even as your bank account grows. Thanks for watching.
This comment from Ramit shows the main lesson of this podcast for me. Your feelings about money are uncorrelated with your net worth. After listening to some of these multimillionaires that clip coupons for raspberries and drive an extra mile for cheaper gas, I stopped some of my own similar craziness. My sanity is worth something, too! And I’m only a multi-thousandaire.
I think the reason why new info is coming out is due to at the beginning people tip toe around why they want something a specific way to spare feelings, by the time a couple makes it to you, it’s time to tell the whole truth.
00:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
😅
But I am guessing everyone’s financial situation is different. Some Powell think they need at least $5mil in order to stop cutting coupons
I know they said they've had heated arguments, but hearing how this couple talks TO each other is beautiful. Relationship goals.
Well they lawyers
heated for them is saying 'gosh darnit' yo lol
This was one of the most pleasant episodes to listen to. The way Brian talks to Rachel and talks about Rachel is so respectful. He gets his message across but is still so polite. I wish them all the best.
This was a great episode. You can tell they really care about each other.
That was my impression as well. Lots of love and mutual respect. I’m optimistic for them.
Agreed! This is one of my favorite episodes. Seeing a female take the bull by the horns take control of her retirement was 🔥🔥🔥
Agreed - this couple was better than most who have come on this podcast so far
I agree! It was especially nice to see after some of the toxic guys who have been on here denigrating their wives. He had a really sweet way of talking to and about her.
I feel the same way
My note is for Brian, my Dad cut me off cold turkey in my early twenties. It was one of the best learning experiences for me. However the cold turkey created a lot of anger so I don't suggest doing cold turkey. I would suggest buying your daughter the audible of "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" and buying the journal for the both of you. Go through it with her and teach her about money. Letting her know at the end of the book and journal you would have helped teach her about money and you are cutting her off. This will be a huge benefit and a life changing experience for her. Then take that money you'd give her and invest it!
As a parent of a 11 and 12 this is great advice, thank you!
I'd like to think that if Brian's daughters saw this episode, they would understand both how much their father loves them and wants to help, and how/why it's important to wean them off the support and become self-sufficient. It's obviously not something he takes lightly, but because it has the potential to set back his retirement he is going to have to do something.
I really appreciate the way this topic came up in this video -- it provided me with an opportunity to discuss the situation with my wife, even though we are several years away from having to make similar choices.
And he wants to retire early like his Dad but his Dad was a banker not a Lawyer and most Lawyers don't make the big bucks like people think.
Great comment! I moved out when I was 18 and managed working, paying living expenses, college completely on my own. Made an enormous positive difference in my life looking back from 35 years later.
This couple was very likable. Really enjoyed this episode.
After watching some rather discouraging follow-ups recently, it is great to see a couple of mature people willing to work through their situation and put forth changes. Best wishes to Rachel & Brian.
This couple is awesome. Their ability to listen to each other. Understand each others perspective, and care about their feelings and desires for the future. It’s so refreshing!!! They are on the track to live a beautiful happy retirement life together. What a blessing and great job to them both!
I really appreciate that the producers left her whole story about the financial advisor in. Its super helpful to hear exactly what lines the FA tried to use, amd how she eventually got out of it (and inspiring).
At about 30:in she describes working with the financial advisor. When my husband passed and I inherited his 401K, I also, just like her, had a “meeting” with his company’s advisor- The story is THE SAME! and these were backloaded and I tried so hard to get out. These were Principal proprietary funds. It took me over two years to get out. I agree it was a subtle trick. I moved to Vanguard. With my own 401K also.
Listening to her story is like looking in the mirror. I felt awful, too. She tells her story VERY well!
Ramit, I think that including couples who are nearing retirement - and evaluating their readiness and/or conflicts - to your program would be enlightening for many viewers. That's an entirely different world from the usual credit card debt crowd, and it would expand your audience accordingly. I appreciated this episode.
Learning about her parents was really eye-opening. It’s so hard to become a young adult and realize that your parents are human with flaws. Especially when those flaws are big flaws about fundamental things it really sucks when you love your family and you grow up and you start to see those flaws and you realize how they’re affecting your life And that you now have to start pushing back on it.
Yeah what her parents did was insanely narcissistic... buy a house with no job or career experience to speak of, just to give us a tax credit! Nope. Naughty parents. Bad....
By far, one of my most favourite episodes. Lots of lessons I picked from this. It actually got me teary. Thank you for this Ramit.
That financial adviser story was rage inducing. It's sad that right now people are still getting scammed in the same way. The best we can do is try to educate our friends and family on these issues. The good news is that she eventually did the right thing and moved it to her own account at Vanguard (I literally LOL'ed when she said the Financial Adviser told her not to trust Vanguard).
I loved when Ramit said that our bank accounts are not correlated to how we feel about money!! You hear this all the time in lots of manifestation spaces and coaching - that our bank accounts reflect how "magnetic, abundant, healed" our relationship is with money, but it's not true and this is a perfect reverse example. She has loads of money, but feels unsafe and insecure STILL about money. On the contrary, some people live very simply, making just enough to live how they wish, by societal standards do not have "abundance" in the bank , yet they feel safe, secure and at ease with money. Thank you Ramit! I love your pod!
So lovely to see a couple who clearly care for their partners well being. Even though it took this show to address some things head on, the way they both stayed open, calm and receptive was extremely encouraging. They are a team. Wishing them all the best.
Totally agree. This was one of my favourite episodes.
agree! I wonder if it's because they're relatively early in their marriage (8 years) for their age (50s). They've probably learned a lot of hard lessons over the years with previous partners.
Even with a low interest rate, I will never, never, never regret paying off my mortgage early. Peace of mind is priceless.
She absolutely proved why you should pay off your house
Invested money and didn’t get the return she thought she would
Almost lost home.
Paying off your home is a GUARANTEED return.
@@oscarrodriguez1068 she invested with an advisor who screwed her over, investing itself isnt the problem. Their mortgage is only 2.25% which is super low, if it is was in today's rates they'd have a better argument for paying it down.
@@oscarrodriguez1068it’s a guarantee to not get a return on your money. I get it, some people are more emotionally driven in their finance choices and some are math driven. Neither are wrong. But you stated it’s a guaranteed rate of return to pay off your mortgage, but equity it a home is dead money. It’s just sits there forever doing NOTHING for you but give you peace of mind. It doesn’t earn money. It doesn’t cash flow. It’s a 0.0% interest savings account that you can’t touch (unless you take out a HELOC). For some that is a blessing, but i have $600k in equity in my home right now and it kills me to think of what I could be doing with some of that money if it were invested vs sitting in there sleeping until I sell my house.
When people say, money is cheap and rates are low, I say... Can you put a price on my peace of mind? That's where we all struggle, if you can't place a value there then you can't determine the value of paying off a mortgage.
@@oscarrodriguez1068 We got our home Oct 2022 and immediately started to pay extra to principal only payments. Already saved 190k in interest alone, we did not have to wait for the return on investment, the savings are immediate. Also, don't have to pay taxes on the 190k of savings.
I love the way this couple communicates. There’s so much love, respect, kindness, and patience. The episode title is misleading .. but it’s a wonderful episode.
Being married for so long and not knowing anything about each others finances would have scared me too.
This has been one of the best episodes I've watched. I love how open their communication is to one another! Thanks for this Ramit, and thank you Brian and Rachel!
We learn so much from your videos. These are real people, thus we can relate with so many things.
I feel so much like Rachel. My husband and I are both frugal and save and max out our 401k/IRAs each year - we are blessed with great incomes. Yet we clip coupons and bargain shop and save, save, save. But spending that savings on a big purchase is too terrifying. We both come from homes where nothing was certain and there wasn't enough money. We are trying to make sure that we always have enough for our kids. When he said "How much do you need to have saved to feel comfortable?" and she had no answer... this is something my husband and I talk about often. I don't feel like it will ever be enough, but also - we can't take it with us when we go. When should we start really enjoying it?
Really great episode. This one REALLY spoke to me.
Thanks for watching. This is very common. Let's discuss more in iwt.com/moneycoaching, where I talk about this on live calls
Parents: Your job is to teach your children to be able to *thrive* without you.
Being their financial safety net arrests their development.
This is one of the loveliest couples I seen in the show. They definitely have a great future ahead.
I mostly agree, except that college tuition has risen exponentially. As a college student in the 1980's, we could afford to pay back our loans. Wages have not risen in proportion to tuition costs.
Not the situation for these girls as their grandfather paid tuition and gave them cars.
Being the financial safety net they pull away without warning like in Beths case or in his case the daughters will get used to it and suddenly he gets ill or retires or both. 😮
@@angelikalaser7778 Yeah, severe health issues can bankrupt you in the U.S. Consider yourself lucky if you stay well (I work in the system).
I am so happy you took the step and showed them how reallocating their extra mortgage payment to investments would skyrocket their net worth. Going through the reality of the math was eye opening. They are so loving to each other and just were not aware due to all the past consuming stories and experiences that cloud the math.
The math isn’t really correct because 1, it should be 7 - mortgage rate and 2, he is going to retire soon so his part of the extra payment would go away. In any case you are lighting money on fire by paying off a low interest mortgage early.
What a wonderful couple. What an example of what maturity and accountability in love looks like. She is terrific and he is a great example for other men. Thank you both 💗
Finally a couple who really communicates!!
A "financial advisor" saying that their service is free is like a house-cleaner saying that their cleaning service is free if they don't take an hourly rate and instead get a percentage of the value of your house forever until you sell the house.
I really like the analogy! Ramit should steal this one 👏😄
Loved their healthy, respectful, calm communication! I can understand how strange it seems to have such separate finances, especially when married, however as someone who's a survivor of financial abuse, I can understand why it's a defense mechanism.
I think this couple have a very successful time ahead of them & I wish them the best :)
As a millennial, when Brian said he was listening to Ramit's book _on CD_ I nearly spit out my cereal 😂
Are you a 90s millennial? I'm from the 80s and don't think listening to CDs is wierd at all.
as a guy born in 1980, i was in high school when Brian was about to get out of college....i legit was jealous because I want the cd too! ahahahah
Not sure why Ramit is using 15 years to show how much they can make if they just shifted their additional payments to investments. At the rate they are currently going their mortgage will be paid off in under two years. At that point if they direct that $30,000/year in addition to the $1,702/month they no longer have to pay, they'll have over $1MM after only 13 years.
Ramit is not always particularly rigorous in his analysis of alternatives, I think he was just showing an example of compound interest. But I agree he left out half of the equation.
Yep and that would eliminate a lot of her fears about the mortgage still existing. Kinda a win win
Agreed, and when he bumped it out to 20 years I said out loud "wait, Brian isn't going to be saving 30k/year until he's SEVENTY EIGHT!!" -- it's like Ramit lost the plot for a minute there. I know compound interest is exciting (trust me, it is) and I appreciate 'committing to the bit', but that was taking it way too far.
Came here to make this exact point.
@@chriswolske he could invest his father's Xmas gift. Why couldn't he continue
Listening to her nightmare with that financial advisor I am so glad to have access to the government TSP. They only offer you proper stocks and the lowest management fees for investment accounts. The best part is you don't have to deal with people, they make it easy to learn and self direct to a certain point.
Same! I feel so sorry for her! Dealing with the arrogant dude must have felt horrible. The gaslighting that she can't do it on her own etc. Disgusting and predatory. I wish him a lot of karma.
The government retirement savings plan (TSP) is the best!! My spouse has gotten a 19.5% rate of return in the past couple years.
This was a really interesting episode and a really lovely couple. I do wish that the central question-Can he afford to retire in the next 2 years?-had been addressed directly. She made a great point that was not discussed, which is that his pension is only 480k. It's just not enough to retire on with his current expenses. It made no sense to input 15k per year for him into the investment calculator when the goal is to retire in a year or two. Using his half of the extra mortgage payment to invest is a great idea, but it only works (in terms of reducing their money stresses) if they can reduce his other expenses. They may struggle to do that and then they won't have really changed anything. I hope he finds the strength to let his daughters stand on their own two feet sooner rather than later. It will be the best gift he can ever give them.
This is one of the better episodes lately, and I'm pleased with the openness, care and outcome.
They are just so sweet hearted, we can learn some much from them , I really loved how they cared for each other !!!!!❤
I love the way you mention at the beginning how much you enjoyed the conversation. I watch the podcast every week, and I really appreciate moments like that at the beginning that 'set the tone' for the viewer -- and the little side quest mission of "pay attention to XYZ." Love that!
It blows my mind how people have been married for so long and they have no idea what each other's finances look like. It's like they don't talk at all. That's a foreign concept to me.
People will take on different personas around money. For those who make it, they tend to enforce their monetary dominance and habits. Often in the name of taking the burden off the lessor earner they treat them like a child around finances. But the moment they need help they want them to be immediately prepared and perform as the main contributor.
I'm married to my husband since 2010... and he's not like me at all.. so i keep it separate since i was head of house prior for a decade. He gives me a certain $ amt and i pay the bills. He just doesn't have the little bit of ambition that i do... We have a SN child so we stay together and try to make it work. It's not that simple as people say. I came into relationship w my house. I guess i married wrong person but too late now.
then again me and husband make less than 100k gross and i do our taxes jointly. We aren't making millions and funny enough i work for lawyers.
@@jennifermoffitt4635it’s never too late to realize you married the wrong person! Rather than accepting that an unhappy life is your fate, have the courage to go live your true RICH life
@@jennifermoffitt4635 What is an SN child?
After listening to it, their CSP is $2.3mill but they are worth a lot more than that! Lots of money in different nooks and crannies not accounted for. That’s awesome, congrats!!
The part about having more property, and Brian threw out the value of "1.2 million" -- something there didn't seem like it added up at all. It's hard to believe their primary residence, second house, and all that property only added up to $800k in assets.
@@chriswolskeyup, exactly. There was a few moments like that where stuff “slipped out” and seems to be even higher than what was reported. Not to mention any inheritance when his dad (bank CEO for decades) passes away. And a few other things mentioned as well that didn’t align with the CSP.
its so strange for me to see people talk about inheritance from someone passing its so taboo in African Culture😂
someone in comment section mentioned that kids will not like beign cut off as they will see their dad with land, paid off properties living his best life. But this should inspire them to do the same on their own, no student loans and wealthy background already gives them a leg up and its not fair to constantly compare themsleves to their dad who got and gets help from his dad (we can't begrduge people's priviledge, its just how things are). As a parent myself i would like to see my kids do something amazing on their own, there is no greater joy ! of course, they get to inherit when i pass away, but that should be just cherry on top which I hope they donate to those who need. :) as always a great episode !
I deeply admire the way that this couple talks about each other and to each other. Their respect and love for one another is inspiring. They have the perfect foundation of humility, kindness, and love that they need to have the rich life they deserve.
I loved the openness and transparency these two show on this episode. Even after all they’ve been through.
I love they continually learn from one another.
Absolutely beautiful episode! Loved how they treat each other and wish them nothing but the best.
I'm sorry, what? Why was selling the 2nd property not mentioned as an option? I"m not sure if I missed that she sold it. Why is that sticking around- Rachel should sell that or rent it out to make extra income. Problem solved.
If having 2 properties plus 40 acres of land isn't enough I have no idea what will make her feel more secure.
yeah I wonder if it is rented, they said she manages it so maybe it is and thats part of her income. If its paid off and making money over maintenance and taxes then its good to hold on to.
This couple is so kind and loving to one another.
Hands down the loveliest couple ever and they clearly love each other so so much
I love how this couple seems to have no resentment between them. They come across as a team and now have more skills to do that with Ramit.
You can tell that these two love, and more specifically, CARE about each other. I hope they get everything they want in life. Their problems is about the anxiety, not the money and that's so nice to see. They having been doing just about everything right but was still tripping up over things they shouldn't have been if they communicating on. Love to see the growth.
Best audit ever hands down.
I love the way this couple communicates and the respect they convey towards each other. So wonderfully supportive ❤
I don't understand her parents forcing her to buy a house. How would that save them tax money?
Gift tax deduction if they helped with down payment?
If they put their name on the title, they can take the itemized deductions- mortgage interest, property taxes etc while she pays all of those expenses herself and can only take the standard deduction.
@@YTjanitorWhat is a gift tax deduction? Gift tax is something you have to pay when you give money to someone else (over a certain threshold).
I loved this episode. Communication and coming together for a common agenda/rich life is everything!
His father was a bank CEO and seems quite well off. He will inherit a lot of money when his father passes. They’ll be fine.
Literally!! 30K as a gift per year is more than some people make. And yeah that’s not including what will happen when his father passes.
Unless his father lives a long time and burns up his money paying for long term care in a nursing home.
Her parents will sure leave as well a lot of money, as cheap as they sound.
I like how Rahmit didn't really react to that. $30k for a gift every year is insane to me.
@@devorahanatolia8999 ah theres places that let you buy in to independent living that increases help as you need it, maybe 500k-2million buy in depending on how nice the place is. Seems like he can afford that and still have money left over.
The way this couple is looking out for each other os POWERFUL! More power to them.
They're dynamic is amazing. Wishing nothing but the best for them.
This was a wonderful couple to watch. Thank you for sharing!
Love the video and this couple was very interesting Just a small suggestion. I really like the visuals with the CSP and the highlighted figures in this video. It might be nice to include the footage of you and your guests in a smaller frame off to the side, overlayed on top of it as you discuss the numbers when the table is shown, to keep seeing everyone’s reactions and silent body language. Thank you for the content!
Love the visualisations of CSP 👏
You are such a kind soul Ramit Sethi. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
Love this couple and got a lot of great info from their story. Thanks to them for coming on the show!
Thanks for another great episode. My favorite part is when the wife says she wishes she had a paid off house... oh wait our second house is in fact already paid off.
They're so lucky you helped them with some fresh ideas and it sounds like they have a good path forward.
I made the mistake after college of rushing to pay off my student loan debt. Paying off 4-7 pct interest caused me to miss out on the SP500 doubling. Live and learn
The SP500 only doubles because it makes 7% on avr on it. No need to feel bad about paying off a 7% debt.
Would you take a loan to invest in SP500 right now? It is same as not paying an existing off and prioritizing investment, math wise.
The way they think about the other in each decision making is so beautiful!
This episode was so wholesome and even relaxing! This couple is absolutely inspirational ❤ love them and wish them the best! …SO wholesome.
They are so sweet to each other. So great to see
This was one of my favorite episodes! You can tell the love and care they have for each other. Especially how she stated she wants her husband to feel as relax and stressfree about money as she does!
My first time listening to one of your podcasts and loved it, especially the emotions and incompletions due to past, unresolved money events. Thanks for being so comprehensive with your approach.
Brian could sell enough baseball cards to pay off his half of the mortgage immediately and then throw money into retirement investments.
If the cards are actually worth that. A lot of people have an inflated view of what their cards are worth. That $150,000 could easily be $1,500.
@@zacharydesmond7589even when they are worth a lot it can be a lot of work to sell them off
Why? They have enough. And earn enough to keep saving. Saving is important but needless depravation is not fun or sustainable.
Sell half the baseball cards, put the 30k from your dad to the house. Bam! Mortgage done in 1-2 years. As for helping your kids, i bet they will be upset knowing you have 40 acre, 1 paid off house and 2.3M TNW with your dad gifting you 30k per year but not helping them. Offer your kids to stay home, wean them off slowly. This economy is very hard on young adults.
Yep! Help them!!! You won’t regret it, even if just car insurance. They are 22 and kids from a divorced home. They aren’t 40 year olds.
If I were him, I would just send Granddad's money straight down to the daughters, maybe give them both an allowance for a couple of years if he wants, and let them pay all of their own bills. By paying the bills directly he's not teaching them anything, and not giving them an incentive to earn more money or move to a cheaper place. I also think it's unfair that he's giving one daughter more than the other.
Yup thinking the same! Brian can afford to retire early regardless and it'd be selfish to cut off the daughters completely! If I was being helped by my parents, I'd love/expect to pay it forward.
I agree! If I was daughter number 2 I’d be upset that my sister was getting so much help when I’m living with 5 roommates.
@@LabradorsAreGoodDogs everyone working together across generations to help the next generation succeed is a beautiful thing, and the only thing that really matters as I’m old now. We have to stop discounting this in our country.
And our daughter’s lab service dog is the best of the best of the best of good :)
I love this couple - just the way they speak to and about each other is heart warming. I love Rachel because I understand her and her desire to want the debt gone even when it doesn’t make sense. 😬
Brian and Rachel both articulate their financial issues very well. Thank u for sharing with us. Wishing them all the best in the future!
my wife and I have a hybrid system - we have one joint account and deposit an agreed amount into it once a month; regular joint expenses like all home expenses, groceries, supplies, eating out together - come out of this joint account. Individual expenses - clothes, grooming, personal hobbies, etc, we pay out of our own personal accounts. For joint vacations, we pay out of a joint credit card, then figure out the total expenses and each contribute half of that into the joint account. It has worked like a charm. Most importantly, we never have arguments about prioritizing personal expenses such as clothes, hobbies, etc.
She’s saying shes relaxed yet all the stress is coming from her side - she can’t even rationalise the losses of growth because of the irrational fear of debt 1:26:00
Such a beautiful couple! Another great episode!!
21:17 I just learned no matter how long we live in Texas, my husband will always be a Mid Westerner - Saving for retirement forever. 😂😂😂
I didnt realize that was a midwestern thing. I thought it was just an American thing. We are told we have to save forever because there is no safety net. (dont get me started on the joke that Social Security is - no one can live on that)
I just loved this couple! There is so much love & respect here and when you have that, you have everything. I think even when you have separate finances it is important to know where the other person is financially, what kind of debt/credit they have etc. I know this is dark (or as I like to call it: pragmatic) but I always think of what would happen in the case of a divorce and go from there. For example, you should structure your finances in a way that a judge would rule if you were divorced: who would end up paying whom support? Are you on the hook for the other person's debt? How would your joint property be divided? I find when you look at your income and assets from a legal POV (obvz, YMMV based on the laws where you live) it gives you perspective on how you may want to structure your finances and what your concerns should be in a worst case scenario such as divorce or death. (not that I expect this couple to break up! They are clearly amazing together! I just mean in general.)
This was a Great Episode Ramit!
I think one of the main challenges that is facing Brian and is affecting their relationship is that he is keeping supporting his ADULT daughter.
I have the feelings that his daughters are very dependent from grandpa and Brain.
Huge fan of this show. No one is a bigger Ramit fan than I am. My math brain needs to challenge Ramit’s calculation of paying off the home. Running the numbers is taking the different between what Ramit calculated vs not investing for 3 years ( expected payoff timeline ) and then adding the 2500 to the mortgage payment being made and what is that calculated for 12 years. If their mortgage is 2k then they are investing 4500 for 13 years vs 2500 for 15 years. At the end of the day it is a wash
Plus I think the point of eliminating the mortgage was to decrease expenses in retirement. They wouldn’t be continuing to invest that money necessarily. They’d just be drawing less from their investments since their living expenses are less.
Loving watching your podcast. Learning a lot and laughing out loud, I thought i was the only one that didn’t get financial literacy! This should be a curriculum in schools. I’m so impressed!
An alternate way to deal with the mortgage could be a high yield savings account. There are many out there right now that are paying around 5% interest. Putting any extra they want to pay into that and then when that equals the remaining mortgage, paying only out of that would yield ~2.5% and then start doing full investing after that point. Once the mortgage is paid off, all of the money that's remaining in that account is just gravy. If at some point, the yield of the account drops below their mortgage rate, they could just pay off the whole mortgage then.
This is the smart, low-risk answer Rachel is looking for.
1:26:37 he says he wants to feel like he’s contributing when he is in fact contributing more than her 😂
I love this couple. Best of luck moving forward into retirement!!
Love how this couple communicates, a model to follow. I hope they combine some of their finances soon!
Loved this conversation!
Good job on the upgrade on editing in this video! I think it's a lot better.
Great episode! I'm glad they were on. It's clear that they have a very good relationship, and that they needed help to look at their money picture, together. I hopep he will sell his collection and put that to investments ASAP, I think that'd really help them out and is exciting. I'm glad they found a way to still be working on the goal of paying the mortgage off at a faster rate, which was a value they had, while also lightening the load. Its good to realize there's nore than one way to go about goals! I wonder if they could do something like put that into HYSA and then write a big check when the balance enough. That'd have gotten them interest during the few years and give flexibility...
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Loved this couple!! So inspirational!
Very sweet couple with wonderful communication skills. So good!
What a wonderful couple. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
Its is scarry to combine income because of life experience. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we JUST joined incomes. But I see now the power of combining income. Now we will be able to pay off debt faster and save up money
I absolutely loved this episode and how they love and treat each other!!
Also make me learn things about me how I think about money, in many ways similar to Rachel!! 😱
Thanks so much to Ramit and your guests!! 🙏
I really loved this episode. Thanks
Him being the coupon cutter is so sweet to me 🥺
I am a single mom and am pretty much always in a very different situation than any of the guests on the show. HOWEVER, I love watching because I take what I can learn and apply it to my own rich life. I appreciate all the guests being willing to come onto the show with transparency and a willingness to listen and learn. This show has helped me a lot. Thank you everybody.
Wow! I really love hearing this!.. thank you for sharing your story. Their's story really is an eyes open how people seeing $$$. Even for some, in my eyes they're set! But here she is,worries! There's not enough!.
The up bringing really does make her becoming this person.
Don't get me wrong, I love that she is so focused and dedicated to her future saving
Thank you for sharing.
Brian’s dad is a g
That financial advisor story was wild, good to hear the details
Would really like to see more couples that are not high earners or high net worth individuals. An average income is far more relatable than people "struggling" with plenty of funds and resources available to them.
Thanks for your comment. I host guests from all over the socioeconomic spectrum on this podcast -- from couples making different amounts of money, different backgrounds and sexual orientations, different views on money. We have LOTS of episodes like you mentioned, so please dig through our archives including audio and video.
One thing I want to mention: Even though you may not be able to directly relate to certain incomes, I still think there are things you can learn. For example, many of us assume that our money problems will vanish when we have more money. The high-earning couples on my pod show that's not true! In many ways, the higher-earning couples are crystal balls into many people's future: that if you don't tackle your money psychology today, it will persist even as your bank account grows.
Thanks for watching.
This comment from Ramit shows the main lesson of this podcast for me. Your feelings about money are uncorrelated with your net worth.
After listening to some of these multimillionaires that clip coupons for raspberries and drive an extra mile for cheaper gas, I stopped some of my own similar craziness. My sanity is worth something, too! And I’m only a multi-thousandaire.
I dont knownif there are like this in general but they seem to be super mature, logic, reaonable, caring everything. I wish them very best.
I think the reason why new info is coming out is due to at the beginning people tip toe around why they want something a specific way to spare feelings, by the time a couple makes it to you, it’s time to tell the whole truth.
Lovely couple! Excellent conversation.
Wonderfull couple-so much love and genuine respect for each other.