I'm a 24 male living in Croatia, and I sometimes despise my father. He's so negative. When I see my peers and their fathers and their relationships, I get sad. Lately faith helps me to be more positive and accepting, but so far he always managed to 'break my spirit'. I make my own decisions and just want him to leave me alone at this point. I hope I'll be able to move out soon.
you're right. our parents have a huge impact on us. if i had to use one word to describe my dad, it would be the word ''bully''. it's great that you're breaking that cycle with your son. be proud of that.
I also come from a family with deep issues and a father that sucked. Both mom and dad was terrible, your parents are going to shape you as a human for many many years. Im 29 yrs old now and still carry alot of damage, its been getting better do to me distancing myself from my parents and working through my emotions. But it has taken many years of mental training to get better. Im still fucked though, just slightly less. Some people should not have children. So whoever reads this, do not have children if you are a bad person and cannot take care of the child properly.
I'm glad that you're conscious of it and know what to look out for. For me it wasn't my dad it was my mom who emotionally took advantage of me and manipulated me so much for so long. And unfortunately when I was five she divorced my dad and I got stuck with her and even though my dad was a great person. The ironic part is that later on in life my mom remarried a guy who treated her way worse than my dad ever did on his worst day and that he contributes no money in that she pays for him to live and has been taking advantage of her for years and she's stuck with him now. Karma
WHOA!! You are doing great! That's a lot to metabolize Keep talking about it!! The processing goes on & on Fathers...I have some men friends who have the kind of dad we dream of. Mine was very harsh. I was lucky, though, he humbled himself, apologized, became a friend. Better late than never
Thanks for sharing. I know a lot of us in similar situations to yours can relate greatly to these types of stories. I also think you getting these things off your chest will help immensely just to be able to vent. 👍🏻
🎉healing generational trauma is why a lot of us are here yo! Much love! It’s all about these kids now!! I let my children lead with the joy they naturally carry!! We can learn so much from our kids and I let them know when they teach me something. It’s not ALL about us teaching them. These lil fuggers got a lot to teach us! 🎉✌️❤️🥳
Hollidays and this time of year are the worst time. I don't know what I would do without Jesus. Do yourself a favor and forgive your father, not so much for him but for yourself to heal.
Taking back your power isn't easy, but it can be done, and self-awareness, which you have, is a good step toward doing that. Sometimes, damage control requires setting boundaries and cutting the cord with certain people, including family members. Becoming the father you didn't have can be redeeming and therapeutic by breaking the generational cycle of dysfunction.
This happened to me with my mom same situation she broke my spirt I’m fighting every day to get it back. I’m 58. I woke up 2018 when I started therapy for other reasons. Therapy helps but it’s hard to process the trauma it gets better. I hear you and take care of your son. My mom ruined me too. Once you realize you can start healing if that makes sense. Take care of yourself. Like be good to yourself. Find ways to self care. Journaling helps get the energy out of your physical body. It’s a long row to hoe but it’s helps. Sorry I’m triggered by you because I share your pain. It is F’d up. I learned to meditate and tried to turn my pain into a positive like I learned Reiki and other healing modalities because of what I went through. I fd up every relationship I’ve ever had, because I was messed up, anyway it’s an every day thing for me. Every day. Hang in there it gets better.
It seems to me you and your brother had to go trough some horrific child abuse. I really hope you and your brother have professional help and you and him can heal at least a little bit.
Definitely don't have to be perfect. Don't think they even want that anyways. But I do think kids need some genuine affection, a fair amount of encouragement, and a lent ear to listen when needed. Just basic communication stuff. Life takes effort for sure, but probably a level of faith just as much.
I know how that feels my dad was severely depressed but he would make others feel bad about themselves for feeling bad about themselves he slept all the time he couldn't stand being conscious and I have periods like that too and I do not want to be like him
Fathers... I know exactly the type of individual you are describing... Did you ask your father why he was screaming at your son? Did you ask your son if he did something that may have triggered your father's reaction? Was it justified in any way? Did you feel like telling your father to never yell again at your son? With what you said about your father, I mean you say that he f..ed you up, I think you should set your own rules when it comes to giving access to your son. Also, I guess there is a reason you are still living with your father, but isn't there any other option? I'm just writing my thoughts, I'm not in your shoes and I don't mean to judge or patronize. May 2025 bring everything you hope for!
Dude, you did it again same thing reverse the roles of parents some mom did that not bad same effect same damage same trauma you’re like my spirit animal😂
I'm a 24 male living in Croatia, and I sometimes despise my father. He's so negative. When I see my peers and their fathers and their relationships, I get sad. Lately faith helps me to be more positive and accepting, but so far he always managed to 'break my spirit'. I make my own decisions and just want him to leave me alone at this point. I hope I'll be able to move out soon.
you're right. our parents have a huge impact on us. if i had to use one word to describe my dad, it would be the word ''bully''. it's great that you're breaking that cycle with your son. be proud of that.
be very proud.
Thank you for this. It really resonated with me.
I also come from a family with deep issues and a father that sucked. Both mom and dad was terrible, your parents are going to shape you as a human for many many years.
Im 29 yrs old now and still carry alot of damage, its been getting better do to me distancing myself from my parents and working through my emotions. But it has taken many years of mental training to get better. Im still fucked though, just slightly less.
Some people should not have children. So whoever reads this, do not have children if you are a bad person and cannot take care of the child properly.
Sorry about your dad. Sorry brother 😢
I'm glad that you're conscious of it and know what to look out for. For me it wasn't my dad it was my mom who emotionally took advantage of me and manipulated me so much for so long. And unfortunately when I was five she divorced my dad and I got stuck with her and even though my dad was a great person. The ironic part is that later on in life my mom remarried a guy who treated her way worse than my dad ever did on his worst day and that he contributes no money in that she pays for him to live and has been taking advantage of her for years and she's stuck with him now. Karma
WHOA!! You are doing great! That's a lot to metabolize
Keep talking about it!! The processing goes on & on
Fathers...I have some men friends who have the kind of dad we dream of. Mine was very harsh. I was lucky, though, he humbled himself, apologized, became a friend. Better late than never
Thanks for sharing. I know a lot of us in similar situations to yours can relate greatly to these types of stories. I also think you getting these things off your chest will help immensely just to be able to vent. 👍🏻
Dude your story is so similar to mine that its actually crazy. Stay strong my brother
You too.
🎉healing generational trauma is why a lot of us are here yo! Much love! It’s all about these kids now!! I let my children lead with the joy they naturally carry!! We can learn so much from our kids and I let them know when they teach me something. It’s not ALL about us teaching them. These lil fuggers got a lot to teach us! 🎉✌️❤️🥳
Dude..... my son taught me so much about how to live in the moment and make the best of the here and now.
Hollidays and this time of year are the worst time. I don't know what I would do without Jesus. Do yourself a favor and forgive your father, not so much for him but for yourself to heal.
Taking back your power isn't easy, but it can be done, and self-awareness, which you have, is a good step toward doing that. Sometimes, damage control requires setting boundaries and cutting the cord with certain people, including family members. Becoming the father you didn't have can be redeeming and therapeutic by breaking the generational cycle of dysfunction.
Massively resonated with me
This happened to me with my mom same situation she broke my spirt I’m fighting every day to get it back. I’m 58. I woke up 2018 when I started therapy for other reasons. Therapy helps but it’s hard to process the trauma it gets better. I hear you and take care of your son. My mom ruined me too. Once you realize you can start healing if that makes sense. Take care of yourself. Like be good to yourself. Find ways to self care. Journaling helps get the energy out of your physical body. It’s a long row to hoe but it’s helps. Sorry I’m triggered by you because I share your pain. It is F’d up. I learned to meditate and tried to turn my pain into a positive like I learned Reiki and other healing modalities because of what I went through. I fd up every relationship I’ve ever had, because I was messed up, anyway it’s an every day thing for me. Every day. Hang in there it gets better.
It seems to me you and your brother had to go trough some horrific child abuse.
I really hope you and your brother have professional help and you and him can heal at least a little bit.
Definitely don't have to be perfect. Don't think they even want that anyways. But I do think kids need some genuine affection, a fair amount of encouragement, and a lent ear to listen when needed. Just basic communication stuff. Life takes effort for sure, but probably a level of faith just as much.
I know how that feels my dad was severely depressed but he would make others feel bad about themselves for feeling bad about themselves he slept all the time he couldn't stand being conscious and I have periods like that too and I do not want to be like him
One of the reasons I did not have children...
+1
Fathers... I know exactly the type of individual you are describing... Did you ask your father why he was screaming at your son? Did you ask your son if he did something that may have triggered your father's reaction? Was it justified in any way? Did you feel like telling your father to never yell again at your son? With what you said about your father, I mean you say that he f..ed you up, I think you should set your own rules when it comes to giving access to your son. Also, I guess there is a reason you are still living with your father, but isn't there any other option? I'm just writing my thoughts, I'm not in your shoes and I don't mean to judge or patronize. May 2025 bring everything you hope for!
Broken wings an be fixed.
Dude, you did it again same thing reverse the roles of parents some mom did that not bad same effect same damage same trauma you’re like my spirit animal😂
NEVER
Never what??