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I was watching a video about how a lot of words racist far right people are actually co-opted (polite word for stolen). They don’t have an original thought and like to lurk where all the people are having fun.
Just because I love splitting hairs: To me, "petite and demure" puts the focus on delicate and waifish, while "demure and mindful" evokes poised, graceful, and well-mannered
Yes. Petite and demure also has tones of fat phobia and racism (given that black women are so often seen as inherently more “masculine” than their white counterparts). Idk, it’s just my take, but the way I’ve seen “petite” highlighted (especially in the romance genre) tends to reify white beauty standards.
@@athenarocks7657true! Anyone can be demure and mindful because it’s a way of being. Petite and demure masculinizes a lot of femme bodies but on the flip side also can emasculate small bodied masc folks.
true! Anyone can be demure and mindful because it’s a way of being. Petite and demure masculinizes a lot of femme bodies but on the flip side also can emasculate small bodied masc folks.
Introspective hot grandma here. I'm also very demure, very modest, and very mindful. No matter who the phrase "belongs" to, I'm glad Jools will be able to afford her surgery and hopefully anything else she desires. Love you, Kat!
@@TH-camAccount-u9z Kat says this channel is for introspective hot people. I was joking that I must be an introspective hot person because I watch her channel. Please, get yourself a sense of humor and some Xanax.
I made a transdude version: very brazen, very heedless. I don't come to work with a 12-inch packer. I don't come to work with a ukulele. I don't come to work at all! Only a little bit of Hatsune Miku binder peaking out of my Cavetown band t-shirt. Remember why they didn’t hire you.
@tomhomunculus No, no, no! As transmen, we have to take all the reasons they don't hire us and embrace them until they make up our entire personality 😂 how will we ever survive in this world if we don't embrace our own distinct brand of petty, toxic masculinity?
It’s almost funny how the sarcasm that Jools had went over people’s heads. So many people were mad about the specifics (green eyeshadow, not too much chichi, etc.). Literally the video before that was her in the green eyeshadow and some more chichi 😌
As widespread and fun as demure is, Jools’ last snipe at the end “here’s your reality check, who should I make it out to?” goes really hard and I feel is very underrated (she may not have come up with that part as opposed to demure, but it’s a very good snipe!)
Agree with everything you said here, I also think it's relevant to bring up that Jools is a trans woman of color who is also plus-sized, and I feel like that particular intersection probably also informs the 'demure' joke. The constant anxiety of "being too much" and "taking too much space" when you're fat, and how that interacts with living as a TWOC is something I feel further highlights how the whole joke is mostly-satirical yet based in concrete experiences.
It's great that Jools of all people is getting this moment not just because she's a trans woman but because for a moment there she was ridiculed for no good reason (I saw personally moreso fatphobia than transphobia specifically, as a lot of people weren't even aware she was trans while mocking her) GET IT JOOLS! She deserves all the flowers, she's hilarious and sets a good example when it comes to genuine confidence
I love the background info on this. I am autistic and I don’t understand a lot of the time when people are doing satire or being serious, so it helps to see explanations like this.
I'm also autistic and I find it funny how many things I was 100% sure were serious and had no reason to question it until randomly watching a video of a creator I like about the subject and find out it was satirical the whole time. My whole life I've always needed to ask the question "is a serious" or "what is an appropriate way to react to the situation" whether it be a little chuckle or giving a "i'm sorry that happened" all to appear normal. I say all that to say I don't know how to feel knowing that as an autistic person I'm probably going to spend my whole life missing out on stuff like this. LOL I didn't mean to get deep or anything this video just inspired some personal thoughts. In happier news the trademark is probably not going to go through, because the guy who tried to trademark it has a history of doing stuff like this and it failing so fingers crossed for that.
@@blueismylove3128i related to everything here, maybe i *am* autistic. nah, the social challenges and sensory issues and need for routine and tendency to get obsessed in one interest for *years* is just a coincidence, i’m sure…
Samesies, when i first heard of the video the cis lady who was reporting on it wasn’t sure, and then with first couple Jools’s TV appearances I was even more confused if she was sarcastically claiming to be ‘not like other girls’ or not. I am so glad that it was sarcastic and that most people took it that way!!
All the young men that I work with have been referencing it, It's such a meme I don't think a lot of people even know what it's originally from. That's super gross that somebody trademarked it 😡
He didn't trademark it, he just tried. The guy in the Tiktok maybe didn't do enough research and just saw the information somewhere. It would take a lot longer (about a year) in order to get something "officially trademarked" and that man in particular who tried has a history of doing this and failing. Also if Jools wants to trademark it, because let's be real that guy's application isn't going through, because she's the creator.
Another TikTok creator who’s a lawyer looked into it- his application was incredibly sloppy, and he seems to jump on this every time a phrase starts trending like “Let’s Ride”, and then the trademark lapses due to either his own mistakes or due to lack of use- hopefully this means she’ll win out in the end
@@blueismylove3128 thing is. Because a trademark takes so long. You get some rights like as soon as you file it and it doesn't hugely overlap with another.. Trademark pending does grant you rights to it. Then when it was seen unfounded you lose it
What bothered me about Selyna's comments was that she said she came up with it because she's so well read and intelligent. Is she saying that Jools couldn't have managed to come up with it in the same way? Don't love the attitude tbh. Not judging her on this one instance, just don't love her perspective in this case!
I don’t think she was saying the other girl is not well read at allllll, but knowing the word demure isn’t a flex. It’s such a simple word. And is always trending every 5 years. I know a trans model named Dara who was all about the word demure like 10 years ago and everyone on tumblr was using it bc of her. So it’s just silly to say selyna originated it that doesn’t matter if the person who used it and blew up was jules
I have ignored this meme until Kat decided to talk about it. I grew up near to and with some family members who were very conservative and religious. I remember being criticized for not being " demure and mindful of the thoughts I was putting in men's heads". I remember being told that no "decent man" would want a girl like me. I clearly recall an aunt taking me to task about my immodest dress and behavior. And, I connected with your reflections of having to be less than who you are just to move with a small measure of safety. Thank you for your commentary. I do appreciate it.
@@milkcatdog394 It was okay because my Mom, my grandparents, and the other part of the family were the descendants of Quakers who believed in the value and dignity of all people (even Children. Once my Mom realized what was being said to me and how narrow their view of women was, she cut us off from them. And, my grandparents stood with my Mom.
I may eat my words because I haven't finished the video, but using the word "demure" before in the past doesn't mean Selena created the trend ... The trend started after Jools sooo, she started it Edit: I agree with how you said it, Jools performed it differently
I was going to see if someone said this already. They used it in quite different ways, so I would hardly say that Selena created this trend and I find it off-putting that she came out and said that. Sounds like she literally just used the word "demure" in a sentence... lol
I am 50yo lesbian from Jersey and 25 minutes from NYC. I am so blessed that I was a pier kid and had that truly village experience. Most, if not all, of those infamous words and phrases came from the girls. Fierce, Beat, Tea, KeKe, Mop, Snatched, Baked, Read on and on those Black and Latina girls were setting trends without even trying. ICONIC. When I watched How I Met Your Mother and the gay boy playing the straight boy co-opted LEGENDARY I GAGGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, this is par for the course for Black people, we give birth to it and they snatch it from us, beat it down, dress it up all funny so it is unrecognizable we have to abandon it and it ultimately dies...You see this is personal for me. After all, I have met some of the most exciting, honest, loyal, insanely creative LGBTQ Black Women who never got to make their mark on the world because it was literally stolen from them...Sorry, I truly enjoyed this video. Thank you,
Jools' version definitely resonates with me more as a fat trans person myself. I am very aware of the way people perceive my body, and that's something I have to keep in mind when it comes to the ways in which I present myself. Yet her video also comes with that tongue-in-cheek commentary on like, the futility of attempting to shrink yourself, when that's obviously impossible and can be very painful. No matter how demure you may act or how mindful you are, you ultimately cannot hide that you're fat, that you're a person of color, and, if you don't pass, that you're trans, etc.. It also seems to me that she's satirizing the phenomenon of a marginalized person who has it all figured out and is just trying to be ~helpful~ but in reality it's condescending or even cruel. That might just be me, though. Selyna's, on the either hand, just seems like outright bragging about being skinny, and how being skinny makes her more attractive and, like you said, "better than everyone else" - this of course has the implicit statement that fatness inherently makes you less attractive. That is... not an opinion that I like to see. And holding these sorts of opinions may very well be fueling some of the distain towards Jools, as you touched on briefly. Either way, there's some unfortunate fatphobia happening there. I do think this is the better of the two versions to have blown up this much. It does seem much more positive and, as you said as well, relatable. Just some guy coming out of the woodwork to trademark the phrase is absolutely wild. I'm heartbroken she had to deal with BS like that but I'm really glad she seems to be doing better now!
As soon as I became aware of the meme(s) I immediately thought "oh, that's riffing off of Venus!", so I'm glad that you affirmed it! Being a queer man from NYC back in the day I remember Venus going by "Tiny" as a performer at GG Knickerbockers (later GG Barnum's). What she says in PIB is/was, of course, quite serious for her and many others. Being petite, mindful, and "demure" meant that you were more likely to survive the streets and the tracks without being clocked and potentially attacked. I'm so glad to hear that Jools has been able to be successful with it and can use it for her transition! Hope that that guy gets denied trademark rights.
This is a perfect example of why intersectionality is so important. Also I really like the decent production values and consistent theme of this channel!
Maybe it's just the neurodivergent in me but this trend is very confusing to me. Nevertheless, I'm glad Jools was able to find so much success through it :)
Every time I searched it up in the dictionary I'm like okay the definition didn't change, am I not getting it, but yeah I think it's the way they both performed the phrase is part of the meme
I have no idea if I'm neurodivergent or not, but I didn't realize Jools was being satirical. I took it to mean, "some girls go to work looking a fool, but I do not." Like, she said it in a comedic way, but she was ultimately serious. Selyna seemed more satirical to me. But idk anymore. 🤷🏾♀️ Edit: Now that I think about it, I can see how Jools's version mocks society's expectations of trans women. But at the same time, in the clip of her CBS Mornings interview, she talks about not doing too much. So again I'm like...🤷🏾♀️
Ngl it doesn’t sound like Selyna was being serious? Between the mocking tone of voice and the exaggeration of the whole blowing away in the wind thing lol, she sounds just as satirical as Jools to me. (Also, I’ve loved her stuff too lol!) That said, because she is thin, there’s less ability to divest herself from the silliness of that imagery when there are people who’d look at her and say she fully encompasses it. And I appreciate you touching on that a lil because it 100% changes the perception and meaning of the joke regardless of how serious the person saying the joke is! While inspo is possible, (and I hope Selyna wasn’t implying Jools doesn’t read books with the word demur in it…) Jools 100% made “demure” (specifically in that tone of voice lol) her own thing by creatively changing it’s context and I’m super glad she’s being celebrated (and compensated chile…) for it! Maybe they can do a very demur and mindful collab 😂 Funny enough, you brought your points back to things I agreed with in the end so it’s just a small difference in starting opinions lol!
I'm only half joking. this was so distressing when i saw it, easily as bad as him doing hot to go. I feel like im watching some middle aged man enacting strange punishments given to him by a findom
I think a lot of ppl don't like the meme cuz they first heard it from someone so far removed from Jool's. Like I first heard about it from your insta post so I was like, oh! That's fun! Making fun of the performance of feminity, but my friend really hates it and I honestly think it's cuz she heard it from some random person and thought it was something more along the lines of "girl math". I think with these things who you see doing it affects how you interpret the memes intentions
the fact some random guy could trademark demure and mindful honestly just highlights to me how the copyright system provides zero protection for any artists and is obviously a scam meant to take things from marginalized people for the benefit of corporations. I have yet to see a single instance in which copyright has actually benefited and independent artist of any kind whatsoever.
I was JUST talking about Jewels today and hoping she was able to monetize it and that I really want her to succeed and now I’m a happy cry mess because to find out all the blessings it’s given her and all the support. I’m just, what a beautiful thing to see
Honestly I’m glad that things are going so well for Jools and that she can fund her transition surgery!! I remember before the meme blew up, she talked about how someone lied to her about funding for her transition surgery and pretending to be from this clinic. So the fact that she can actually pay for it now and get it is well deserved especially with what she had to deal with in the past
i have seen maybe 1 or 2 videos speaking on this and they focus on the trademark but gloss over the trans woman aspect. They also don’t really speak on whatever’s going on between Jools and Selyna. i followed Jools a few months back bc she had a really funny story time and i loved the make up content. i also follow Selyna bc i found her so pretty and her commentary insightful.
They did the same thing to the On Fleek girl, made millions, off something they had nothing to do with, they tried ro do it with Hot Girl Summer...but Roc Nation said no, no, no...I don't think so
It's so cool to see how this trend started and that she is able to fund her transition because of this! Stolen credit affects people! It's infuriating when people write the work that goes into creating trend off as less important because it's deemed 'silly'. I don't have any social media but even at the random Dutch highschool I go to, kids are quoting it. (Sadly the transphobic kids too, which made me suprised to find out a transwoman was behind it.)
I totally agree. The "demure and mindful" meme is really smart. It speaks to the extra pressure on trans women to be more stereotypically feminine, it speaks to cis women's relationship to their femininity.
I know I could comment this on any one of your videos, but I'm feeling it now. I've had a rough week and I still appreciate that you brought back, "always remember and never forget that you are beautiful and you are loved."
So grateful for the Paris is Burning reference. I was the technician on a film festival in Sydney maybe ten years ago and it was on the list, so I *had* to watch it and I'm so, so grateful for it. It should be required watching for any lgbtqia fam.
I'm just kind of confused as to why more people aren't upset that using demure the 'serious' way Selena does is fat phobic... Like, I'm also petite, but since I started realizing what fat phobia was (middle school), I stopped giving a fuck about equating petiteness with anything personality wise. Maybe I'm misunderstanding so I'm open to discussion but it just feels icky that people are using being petite, a physical trait, and equating that with whatever allure comes from actually being "demure," shy, modest, etc. but also, I'm a white nonbinary AFAB person who has never seen the things you referenced as part of "queer culture." I dislike RuPaul and Drag Race but love and respect drag as an art/form of expression and the work black trans women have done for queer liberation and culture. I am likely missing pieces and am always interested in learning more. I appreciate your perspective and videos Kat.
girl I feel you, I've probably been transitioning for a slightly shorter time than you but it's such a joy to see how many more girls there are in public these days. I'm not on social media much but whenever I see a girl working at a gas station or dunkin donuts it makes my day
The lightskin, light eyes and small hands comment... *shudders* Also when will people accept that every trend comes from Black and brown cultures, especially within queer groups
Literally never unfortunately. To the point where cis folks in our community (who don’t want to understand or have the empathy to care about intersectionality) don’t even like when I say that some of the colloquialisms I get from BIPOC LGBTQIA+ people, just because I’m a cishet Black woman, because I’m being “replaced”. 🙄 Like baby, I’m a loudmouth 5-foot Aries with ADHD, AI ITSELF can’t replace me 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Point is, why would I make my LGBTQIA+ community-ESPECIALLY BIPOC feel even more invisible than they already do????? Justice for Jools and her beautifully magnificent self!!! GIVE HER THE FLOWERS SHE DESERVES!!!! I’m rooting for her too ❤❤❤ Sorry for the rant…just read the comment back. I just want all my people to win 🥇 🥰
@@1okie908 I mean... she didn't survive though :( It was absolutely necessary for her, but it still wasn't enough. She didn't make it past 23, and her body wasn't found for 3 days... *_in a hotel room._* Not disagreeing or trying to be a downer, but I suspect there are a lot of people here who haven't seen Paris is Burning and I wanted to make sure that context is there for your comment :)
When I heard Jools’ demure audio it very much made me reflect on how I show up to work as a white transwoman elementary science teacher. I recognize my privilege but I also feel often that am fighting to inner voices about how I am judge at a higher standard sometimes than my cisgender female workers and my strong desire to express my love of fashion and express myself. I really do love the satire of norms that it presents me with.
Im glad we can at least celebrate a win for the POC and LGBTQ+ community. It’s important we pay attention so this doesn’t keep occurring. Can’t let the privelaged overshadow and reap the fruits of hard-earned work and originality/creativity. So so important to give artists rightful credit and recognition. ESPECIALLY respect and care to the art by those of diverse differences and experience. ❤
i appreciate the context and perspective on this! i saw another video about this and definitely didnt pick up on the original being satirical and was ready to be like "i dont love the original meme it feels like she's just telling women not to take up too much space but yknow what im glad she got her bag and hope she can get out from under the people fucking with that" but now i can appreciate the whole of it :)
On TikTok was the first time I first started seeing other nonbinary people. I have been out for 11 years and it led me to finding a nonbinary and genderqueer support group in the Atlanta area. It’s honestly so crazy how TikTok has changed the lives of so many people, but especially trans and nonbinary people’s lives.
It's kinda important for companies. Including small businesses. They also have trademarks. If they didn't, someone else could just see it and steal the entire brand.
I'm not on tiktok so the demure thing has just been in the corner of my online vision, I didn't think too much about it at first but it's internet what you had to say about it Personally I can't help but be reminded of the "very beautiful, very powerful" lumpfish meme because it's said with kind of the same tone It's wild how some random person trademarked her saying ._. wth...
7:50 Can we just ask spend the next 2 minutes getting our ruby slippers on, closing our eyes, clicking our heels together and just repeating over and over "Jimmy Fallon isn't funny and shouldn't have his own show..."
I think Selyna is feeling a loss of what could have been and perhaps feels she lost her glory. This is just my observation from my opinion, I dont know for fact. I feel bad for her in that way because I know what this is like.
This is maybe the first video of yours that just didn't make me think, it made me feel a lot of stuff. I'm a gay guy, living in a conservative area, and I paint my nails, and present in a non normative way, and in my society, I've had to find a way to be demure and accommodate other people to how I look like and the way I am... That includes my family. When I saw this trend I thought "is it just another tiktok trend?" But sheesh, it's really way deeper than I can put into words. Thank you Kat, for talking about this ❤
It’s the way people think “demure” is such a BIG word that is sending me. Case in point from Selena herself: “I read a lot of literature..” lol, the humble brag
I actually haven't heard of this until this video but considering it's only been a week since I was trying to be stealth at an interview and worried sick about it I can definitely see the relatability here
I was inspired to go back and rewatch Paris is Burning. It's been 15 years and still hits so hard and beautifully. Thanks for the considerate and beautiful video. Flowers for everyone
I appreciate learning Jools' name bc I could see the term getting away from her and I wanted her to get her flowers. Thanks for staying in this for the POC girlies.
to me there's a difference between being demure/petite/taking up less space vs being/demure/mindful/cutesy. I am an Indian cis woman. A lot of us are expected and socialised to be quiet, demure, signalling submission. That rubs me the wrong way, sorry. On the other hand, a big girl just talking about being mindful i can get behind!
It's hard to claim ownership of a meme, and harder still to claim a word. It seems this Selena person is jealous of the success Jules has had, which seems quite typical of people who make fatphobic statements. It really always comes back to Paris is Burning. It wasn't the first film of its kind but it was the most important. I think you did a video specifically about it years ago. I haven't seen it since it was new because it's personally devastating. Some of the women, queens, and/or others who appeared in it were friends of mine and, well, you know what was happening. Apart from Miss Major everyone I knew or met from that era is dead. If I hadn't fled the country in grief by then I might have had a cameo in the seminal ball culture movie. I imagine I'd probably be in a corner drinking absinthe with a couple other goths.
It's interesting, because I thought Jools was using "demure" genuinely and the other creator ironically. But I still agree that it wasnt exactly "copied" idk
I have commented on like five comments so far who are saying the exact same thing 😂. Going into this video I was actually excited to see a black woman possibly critique the idea that a woman of color needs to tone it down in order to go to work, only to find that the video itself was satirical the whole time 😭.
Even Fran Fine used the word "demure" in The Nanny when she told Maxwell she would be quieter in bed 😀Some words are used in certain contexts that fit their meaning, and some people find out that some of these contexts can be very funny. Claiming ownership over word is bizzare to me.
I'm not very online and have just seen it written down til now, but hearing her perform it has made me actually enjoy it. Until now I have just felt a little weird seeing the word demure around so much because it just gives me associations to those old timey "how proper girls should act" books from pre 1950 etc and I am not on top of memes anymore so it was very out of left field with no context, haha. She seems so sweet and tongue in cheek with it in the tiktok, though, and I hope she enjoys all the success.
Trademarking that phrase before her is so NASTY. I was too neurodivergent to understand it was satire until now lmao but I love this for her!! She was smart about it and I respect a marketing girlboss 💅🏾
Demure mean modest, sober, settled, respecting decorum, discreet, quiet, well behaved (usually describing a woman)... what does being petite has to do with it?
It's the original context Venus explained. To her clients her value was being smaller and quieter than them. Both in size and presence. Had she been bigger or louder, she wouldn't have as much success in her field.
@@cats1970 I understood that when her story was brought up but smallness has nothing to do with the word demure, so the other influencer focusing on it didn't make sense.
@@hydraianI think many people would associate those things with skinny women because by default fat women are seen as less modest, less feminine, too loud, brash, having no decorum, slobbish etc.. If someone is fatphobic, they see fatness as something deeply unseemly that is not compatible with any positive attributes. So, while being petite doesn't actually have anything to do with being demure in reality, people are more likely to perceive you as such if you are a skinny person - there's also a similar phenomenon with breast size too, though that's often still compounded with fatphobia. I do believe Selyna is fatphobic and views fat women as being unable to achieve demure-ness in the same way that she is able to. Also, I honestly think she just wanted to brag about being skinny/skinnier than Jools.
Barely relevant tangent here, but I never understood criticizing people for getting a diet soda with a meal that's considered unhealthy. In my mind if you're trying to be aware of your intake of less healthful foods, getting a calorie/sugar free drink with a meal that's already a bit of treat by itself just makes sense. And the attitude that having diet soda with pizza or a burger or whatever is hypocritical depends entirely on the assumption that diet soda is a healthy drink. It's not, it's just debatably, marginally less bad than regular soda. Depending on each individual's dietary needs of course.
Not me, also quoting Venus when I was down to 128 lbs constantly to the point where my partner also did, therefore when he heard the "demure and mindful" it even clicked with him lmfao.
somehow, some guy hopping onto the trademark instantly reminds me of the rich people who buy multiple homes that stay vacant most of the year while housing crisis happens
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The fact that transphobes and racist people use this audio is honestly gobsmacking
but sadly, unsurprising. it's been happening since the days of PIB and beyond.
Fatphobes too. So it's hilarious seeing people who belong in those three use it uknowingly
@AdzaanMaiiTso Gobsmacking literally means surprising. But I agree with you. This is not at all gobsmacking. It's expected.
It's like.
What I saw terfs using that 1 chinchilla song when chinchilla is very openly protrance
I was watching a video about how a lot of words racist far right people are actually co-opted (polite word for stolen). They don’t have an original thought and like to lurk where all the people are having fun.
Just because I love splitting hairs: To me, "petite and demure" puts the focus on delicate and waifish, while "demure and mindful" evokes poised, graceful, and well-mannered
Yes. Petite and demure also has tones of fat phobia and racism (given that black women are so often seen as inherently more “masculine” than their white counterparts). Idk, it’s just my take, but the way I’ve seen “petite” highlighted (especially in the romance genre) tends to reify white beauty standards.
@@athenarocks7657true! Anyone can be demure and mindful because it’s a way of being. Petite and demure masculinizes a lot of femme bodies but on the flip side also can emasculate small bodied masc folks.
true! Anyone can be demure and mindful because it’s a way of being. Petite and demure masculinizes a lot of femme bodies but on the flip side also can emasculate small bodied masc folks.
Introspective hot grandma here. I'm also very demure, very modest, and very mindful. No matter who the phrase "belongs" to, I'm glad Jools will be able to afford her surgery and hopefully anything else she desires. Love you, Kat!
Please stop traumatizing your kids grandkids with the hot grandma thing… live your life, but they don’t need to know ❤ with love
@@TH-camAccount-u9z lol are you serious? calm down, people don't have to put themselves away because they have grandkids and are old
@@NoOne-hg1qcdon’t make that your entire personality lol also let trans women have this. That’s who it belongs to
huh?? what are you talking about?? your comments are ridiculous@@TH-camAccount-u9z
@@TH-camAccount-u9z Kat says this channel is for introspective hot people. I was joking that I must be an introspective hot person because I watch her channel. Please, get yourself a sense of humor and some Xanax.
I made a transdude version: very brazen, very heedless. I don't come to work with a 12-inch packer. I don't come to work with a ukulele. I don't come to work at all! Only a little bit of Hatsune Miku binder peaking out of my Cavetown band t-shirt. Remember why they didn’t hire you.
😂
12 inch packer hehe
The last sentence hits a lil hard tho
I have the sudden urge to hide my ukulele deep within the closet from whenst I came.
I'm keeping my cavetown band tees tho ಥ‿ಥ
@tomhomunculus No, no, no! As transmen, we have to take all the reasons they don't hire us and embrace them until they make up our entire personality 😂 how will we ever survive in this world if we don't embrace our own distinct brand of petty, toxic masculinity?
miku binder thomas jefferson referenc
It’s almost funny how the sarcasm that Jools had went over people’s heads. So many people were mad about the specifics (green eyeshadow, not too much chichi, etc.). Literally the video before that was her in the green eyeshadow and some more chichi 😌
As widespread and fun as demure is, Jools’ last snipe at the end “here’s your reality check, who should I make it out to?” goes really hard and I feel is very underrated (she may not have come up with that part as opposed to demure, but it’s a very good snipe!)
Agree with everything you said here, I also think it's relevant to bring up that Jools is a trans woman of color who is also plus-sized, and I feel like that particular intersection probably also informs the 'demure' joke. The constant anxiety of "being too much" and "taking too much space" when you're fat, and how that interacts with living as a TWOC is something I feel further highlights how the whole joke is mostly-satirical yet based in concrete experiences.
It's great that Jools of all people is getting this moment not just because she's a trans woman but because for a moment there she was ridiculed for no good reason (I saw personally moreso fatphobia than transphobia specifically, as a lot of people weren't even aware she was trans while mocking her) GET IT JOOLS! She deserves all the flowers, she's hilarious and sets a good example when it comes to genuine confidence
Yes! I love having Jools on my screen
“I don’t come to work with a green cut crease”
Now she did not have to clear me like that 😂
literally wearing green eyeshadow at work rn lmao.
@@aviiannaomggggg all the people you’re subscribed to. We are so like minded
@@slixameth lol at some point I realized I really need to curate my feed. Cause I’m not tryna to even be on certain sides of the internet.
I love the background info on this. I am autistic and I don’t understand a lot of the time when people are doing satire or being serious, so it helps to see explanations like this.
I'm also autistic and I find it funny how many things I was 100% sure were serious and had no reason to question it until randomly watching a video of a creator I like about the subject and find out it was satirical the whole time. My whole life I've always needed to ask the question "is a serious" or "what is an appropriate way to react to the situation" whether it be a little chuckle or giving a "i'm sorry that happened" all to appear normal. I say all that to say I don't know how to feel knowing that as an autistic person I'm probably going to spend my whole life missing out on stuff like this. LOL I didn't mean to get deep or anything this video just inspired some personal thoughts.
In happier news the trademark is probably not going to go through, because the guy who tried to trademark it has a history of doing stuff like this and it failing so fingers crossed for that.
I was going to say, I am autistic and no clue this was satirical and now I'm like ohhhhhhhhh
@@blueismylove3128i related to everything here, maybe i *am* autistic.
nah, the social challenges and sensory issues and need for routine and tendency to get obsessed in one interest for *years* is just a coincidence, i’m sure…
Samesies, when i first heard of the video the cis lady who was reporting on it wasn’t sure, and then with first couple Jools’s TV appearances I was even more confused if she was sarcastically claiming to be ‘not like other girls’ or not. I am so glad that it was sarcastic and that most people took it that way!!
Realll
All the young men that I work with have been referencing it, It's such a meme I don't think a lot of people even know what it's originally from.
That's super gross that somebody trademarked it 😡
get them mitochondria!!!
He didn't trademark it, he just tried. The guy in the Tiktok maybe didn't do enough research and just saw the information somewhere. It would take a lot longer (about a year) in order to get something "officially trademarked" and that man in particular who tried has a history of doing this and failing. Also if Jools wants to trademark it, because let's be real that guy's application isn't going through, because she's the creator.
Another TikTok creator who’s a lawyer looked into it- his application was incredibly sloppy, and he seems to jump on this every time a phrase starts trending like “Let’s Ride”, and then the trademark lapses due to either his own mistakes or due to lack of use- hopefully this means she’ll win out in the end
@@blueismylove3128 thing is. Because a trademark takes so long. You get some rights like as soon as you file it and it doesn't hugely overlap with another..
Trademark pending does grant you rights to it. Then when it was seen unfounded you lose it
@@dutchik5107 However that doesn't account for the fact that Jool's will have priority if she files because she's the creator of the "trend".
What bothered me about Selyna's comments was that she said she came up with it because she's so well read and intelligent. Is she saying that Jools couldn't have managed to come up with it in the same way? Don't love the attitude tbh. Not judging her on this one instance, just don't love her perspective in this case!
I don’t think she was saying the other girl is not well read at allllll, but knowing the word demure isn’t a flex. It’s such a simple word. And is always trending every 5 years. I know a trans model named Dara who was all about the word demure like 10 years ago and everyone on tumblr was using it bc of her. So it’s just silly to say selyna originated it that doesn’t matter if the person who used it and blew up was jules
Paris Is Burning has been undeniably impactful on American pop culture in general.
I feel like ALL of queer culture goes back to "Paris is Burning". It's like the Queer Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon
So much truth can be found in our history. It's so important we salvage every bit of it that we can.
Queer identity was basically incepted by queers of color.
I have ignored this meme until Kat decided to talk about it. I grew up near to and with some family members who were very conservative and religious. I remember being criticized for not being " demure and mindful of the thoughts I was putting in men's heads". I remember being told that no "decent man" would want a girl like me. I clearly recall an aunt taking me to task about my immodest dress and behavior. And, I connected with your reflections of having to be less than who you are just to move with a small measure of safety. Thank you for your commentary. I do appreciate it.
🖤🖤 I’m so sorry that was ur experience. It sounds awful.
@@milkcatdog394 It was okay because my Mom, my grandparents, and the other part of the family were the descendants of Quakers who believed in the value and dignity of all people (even Children. Once my Mom realized what was being said to me and how narrow their view of women was, she cut us off from them. And, my grandparents stood with my Mom.
Girl. Lol.
@@SBBunny93what’s funny?
I may eat my words because I haven't finished the video, but using the word "demure" before in the past doesn't mean Selena created the trend ... The trend started after Jools sooo, she started it
Edit: I agree with how you said it, Jools performed it differently
I was going to see if someone said this already. They used it in quite different ways, so I would hardly say that Selena created this trend and I find it off-putting that she came out and said that. Sounds like she literally just used the word "demure" in a sentence... lol
@@Mandalaaxo agreed!
Right. The word *did* exist before Selena used it.
Hearing her cry is so heartbreaking... it's so genuine. I'm sure it'll be ok, but she just seems like such a sweet person.
I am 50yo lesbian from Jersey and 25 minutes from NYC. I am so blessed that I was a pier kid and had that truly village experience. Most, if not all, of those infamous words and phrases came from the girls. Fierce, Beat, Tea, KeKe, Mop, Snatched, Baked, Read on and on those Black and Latina girls were setting trends without even trying. ICONIC. When I watched How I Met Your Mother and the gay boy playing the straight boy co-opted LEGENDARY I GAGGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, this is par for the course for Black people, we give birth to it and they snatch it from us, beat it down, dress it up all funny so it is unrecognizable we have to abandon it and it ultimately dies...You see this is personal for me. After all, I have met some of the most exciting, honest, loyal, insanely creative LGBTQ Black Women who never got to make their mark on the world because it was literally stolen from them...Sorry, I truly enjoyed this video. Thank you,
Jools' version definitely resonates with me more as a fat trans person myself. I am very aware of the way people perceive my body, and that's something I have to keep in mind when it comes to the ways in which I present myself. Yet her video also comes with that tongue-in-cheek commentary on like, the futility of attempting to shrink yourself, when that's obviously impossible and can be very painful. No matter how demure you may act or how mindful you are, you ultimately cannot hide that you're fat, that you're a person of color, and, if you don't pass, that you're trans, etc.. It also seems to me that she's satirizing the phenomenon of a marginalized person who has it all figured out and is just trying to be ~helpful~ but in reality it's condescending or even cruel. That might just be me, though.
Selyna's, on the either hand, just seems like outright bragging about being skinny, and how being skinny makes her more attractive and, like you said, "better than everyone else" - this of course has the implicit statement that fatness inherently makes you less attractive. That is... not an opinion that I like to see. And holding these sorts of opinions may very well be fueling some of the distain towards Jools, as you touched on briefly. Either way, there's some unfortunate fatphobia happening there.
I do think this is the better of the two versions to have blown up this much. It does seem much more positive and, as you said as well, relatable.
Just some guy coming out of the woodwork to trademark the phrase is absolutely wild. I'm heartbroken she had to deal with BS like that but I'm really glad she seems to be doing better now!
yes! yes! this is exactly how i saw it! thank you for articulating it.
As soon as I became aware of the meme(s) I immediately thought "oh, that's riffing off of Venus!", so I'm glad that you affirmed it! Being a queer man from NYC back in the day I remember Venus going by "Tiny" as a performer at GG Knickerbockers (later GG Barnum's). What she says in PIB is/was, of course, quite serious for her and many others. Being petite, mindful, and "demure" meant that you were more likely to survive the streets and the tracks without being clocked and potentially attacked. I'm so glad to hear that Jools has been able to be successful with it and can use it for her transition! Hope that that guy gets denied trademark rights.
This is a perfect example of why intersectionality is so important. Also I really like the decent production values and consistent theme of this channel!
Not having TikTok means I get to learn about new things everyday from TH-cams I like watching.
Maybe it's just the neurodivergent in me but this trend is very confusing to me. Nevertheless, I'm glad Jools was able to find so much success through it :)
I'm neurotypical and I was also confused about this trend, Kat's video really helped
In ND terms its about masking/performing for the normies 😆
@@austincde Yeah that makes sense. I think I'm just really bad at telling when satire is actually satire or not lol
Every time I searched it up in the dictionary I'm like okay the definition didn't change, am I not getting it, but yeah I think it's the way they both performed the phrase is part of the meme
I have no idea if I'm neurodivergent or not, but I didn't realize Jools was being satirical. I took it to mean, "some girls go to work looking a fool, but I do not." Like, she said it in a comedic way, but she was ultimately serious. Selyna seemed more satirical to me. But idk anymore. 🤷🏾♀️
Edit: Now that I think about it, I can see how Jools's version mocks society's expectations of trans women. But at the same time, in the clip of her CBS Mornings interview, she talks about not doing too much. So again I'm like...🤷🏾♀️
Ngl it doesn’t sound like Selyna was being serious? Between the mocking tone of voice and the exaggeration of the whole blowing away in the wind thing lol, she sounds just as satirical as Jools to me. (Also, I’ve loved her stuff too lol!)
That said, because she is thin, there’s less ability to divest herself from the silliness of that imagery when there are people who’d look at her and say she fully encompasses it. And I appreciate you touching on that a lil because it 100% changes the perception and meaning of the joke regardless of how serious the person saying the joke is!
While inspo is possible, (and I hope Selyna wasn’t implying Jools doesn’t read books with the word demur in it…) Jools 100% made “demure” (specifically in that tone of voice lol) her own thing by creatively changing it’s context and I’m super glad she’s being celebrated (and compensated chile…) for it! Maybe they can do a very demur and mindful collab 😂
Funny enough, you brought your points back to things I agreed with in the end so it’s just a small difference in starting opinions lol!
Yeah, Selyna didn't sound serious to me
7:48 ⚠️ JIMMY FALLON IN DRAG JUMPSCARE WARNING
I'm only half joking. this was so distressing when i saw it, easily as bad as him doing hot to go. I feel like im watching some middle aged man enacting strange punishments given to him by a findom
I think a lot of ppl don't like the meme cuz they first heard it from someone so far removed from Jool's. Like I first heard about it from your insta post so I was like, oh! That's fun! Making fun of the performance of feminity, but my friend really hates it and I honestly think it's cuz she heard it from some random person and thought it was something more along the lines of "girl math". I think with these things who you see doing it affects how you interpret the memes intentions
the fact some random guy could trademark demure and mindful honestly just highlights to me how the copyright system provides zero protection for any artists and is obviously a scam meant to take things from marginalized people for the benefit of corporations. I have yet to see a single instance in which copyright has actually benefited and independent artist of any kind whatsoever.
luckily she’s got lawyers on her side now! she might win under “first to use in commerce” laws.
I was JUST talking about Jewels today and hoping she was able to monetize it and that I really want her to succeed and now I’m a happy cry mess because to find out all the blessings it’s given her and all the support. I’m just, what a beautiful thing to see
It doesn’t matter even matter if she was the original…. Trying to pull the rug is rude. She presented it and slayed!
Honestly I’m glad that things are going so well for Jools and that she can fund her transition surgery!! I remember before the meme blew up, she talked about how someone lied to her about funding for her transition surgery and pretending to be from this clinic. So the fact that she can actually pay for it now and get it is well deserved especially with what she had to deal with in the past
i have seen maybe 1 or 2 videos speaking on this and they focus on the trademark but gloss over the trans woman aspect. They also don’t really speak on whatever’s going on between Jools and Selyna.
i followed Jools a few months back bc she had a really funny story time and i loved the make up content.
i also follow Selyna bc i found her so pretty and her commentary insightful.
Somehow only the "demure" part filtered into my sphere
Same, and I didn’t have any context so I just assumed it was a tradwife telling everyone to cover up
They did the same thing to the On Fleek girl, made millions, off something they had nothing to do with, they tried ro do it with Hot Girl Summer...but Roc Nation said no, no, no...I don't think so
It's so cool to see how this trend started and that she is able to fund her transition because of this! Stolen credit affects people! It's infuriating when people write the work that goes into creating trend off as less important because it's deemed 'silly'. I don't have any social media but even at the random Dutch highschool I go to, kids are quoting it. (Sadly the transphobic kids too, which made me suprised to find out a transwoman was behind it.)
I will never get tired of hearing your intro 😊
It's the best thing in the world
One of the few intros i never skip
ותt been bbby😮cv @@cookiequeen5430cbgb😮b. Byyy😮
I totally agree. The "demure and mindful" meme is really smart. It speaks to the extra pressure on trans women to be more stereotypically feminine, it speaks to cis women's relationship to their femininity.
I know I could comment this on any one of your videos, but I'm feeling it now. I've had a rough week and I still appreciate that you brought back, "always remember and never forget that you are beautiful and you are loved."
So grateful for the Paris is Burning reference. I was the technician on a film festival in Sydney maybe ten years ago and it was on the list, so I *had* to watch it and I'm so, so grateful for it. It should be required watching for any lgbtqia fam.
I'm just kind of confused as to why more people aren't upset that using demure the 'serious' way Selena does is fat phobic... Like, I'm also petite, but since I started realizing what fat phobia was (middle school), I stopped giving a fuck about equating petiteness with anything personality wise. Maybe I'm misunderstanding so I'm open to discussion but it just feels icky that people are using being petite, a physical trait, and equating that with whatever allure comes from actually being "demure," shy, modest, etc. but also, I'm a white nonbinary AFAB person who has never seen the things you referenced as part of "queer culture." I dislike RuPaul and Drag Race but love and respect drag as an art/form of expression and the work black trans women have done for queer liberation and culture. I am likely missing pieces and am always interested in learning more. I appreciate your perspective and videos Kat.
I'm so happy for Jools and all of us enjoying this genuine moment.
girl I feel you, I've probably been transitioning for a slightly shorter time than you but it's such a joy to see how many more girls there are in public these days. I'm not on social media much but whenever I see a girl working at a gas station or dunkin donuts it makes my day
The lightskin, light eyes and small hands comment... *shudders*
Also when will people accept that every trend comes from Black and brown cultures, especially within queer groups
Every trend? Sure a lot come from minority groups. But every?
It's so sad because that's how she survived, she had to reduce herself to her "marketable" features.
Literally never unfortunately. To the point where cis folks in our community (who don’t want to understand or have the empathy to care about intersectionality) don’t even like when I say that some of the colloquialisms I get from BIPOC LGBTQIA+ people, just because I’m a cishet Black woman, because I’m being “replaced”. 🙄 Like baby, I’m a loudmouth 5-foot Aries with ADHD, AI ITSELF can’t replace me 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Point is, why would I make my LGBTQIA+ community-ESPECIALLY BIPOC feel even more invisible than they already do?????
Justice for Jools and her beautifully magnificent self!!! GIVE HER THE FLOWERS SHE DESERVES!!!! I’m rooting for her too ❤❤❤
Sorry for the rant…just read the comment back. I just want all my people to win 🥇 🥰
@@1okie908 I mean... she didn't survive though :( It was absolutely necessary for her, but it still wasn't enough. She didn't make it past 23, and her body wasn't found for 3 days... *_in a hotel room._* Not disagreeing or trying to be a downer, but I suspect there are a lot of people here who haven't seen Paris is Burning and I wanted to make sure that context is there for your comment :)
When I heard Jools’ demure audio it very much made me reflect on how I show up to work as a white transwoman elementary science teacher. I recognize my privilege but I also feel often that am fighting to inner voices about how I am judge at a higher standard sometimes than my cisgender female workers and my strong desire to express my love of fashion and express myself. I really do love the satire of norms that it presents me with.
Im glad we can at least celebrate a win for the POC and LGBTQ+ community. It’s important we pay attention so this doesn’t keep occurring. Can’t let the privelaged overshadow and reap the fruits of hard-earned work and originality/creativity. So so important to give artists rightful credit and recognition. ESPECIALLY respect and care to the art by those of diverse differences and experience. ❤
i appreciate the context and perspective on this! i saw another video about this and definitely didnt pick up on the original being satirical and was ready to be like "i dont love the original meme it feels like she's just telling women not to take up too much space but yknow what im glad she got her bag and hope she can get out from under the people fucking with that" but now i can appreciate the whole of it :)
On TikTok was the first time I first started seeing other nonbinary people. I have been out for 11 years and it led me to finding a nonbinary and genderqueer support group in the Atlanta area. It’s honestly so crazy how TikTok has changed the lives of so many people, but especially trans and nonbinary people’s lives.
i always felt like this trend was an off shoot of the “be mindful of why you were invited to the section” thanks for the dive kat ❤
Demure for the demure god! Mindful for the mindful throne!
Trademarking words really needs to end.
It's kinda important for companies. Including small businesses.
They also have trademarks. If they didn't, someone else could just see it and steal the entire brand.
I'm not on tiktok so the demure thing has just been in the corner of my online vision, I didn't think too much about it at first but it's internet what you had to say about it
Personally I can't help but be reminded of the "very beautiful, very powerful" lumpfish meme because it's said with kind of the same tone
It's wild how some random person trademarked her saying ._. wth...
* interesting, not internet
19:02 made me tear up a bit I can't lie, what a cathartic cackle of trans euphoria 😭💜
Absolutely boycotting the merch. Let’s not give that guy any money!
7:50 Can we just ask spend the next 2 minutes getting our ruby slippers on, closing our eyes, clicking our heels together and just repeating over and over "Jimmy Fallon isn't funny and shouldn't have his own show..."
💯 this, one more time for the ppl in the back!!
We love your vibe and this hair style is you period .
I think Selyna is feeling a loss of what could have been and perhaps feels she lost her glory. This is just my observation from my opinion, I dont know for fact. I feel bad for her in that way because I know what this is like.
It seems like Selena's version is also comic/satirical
This is maybe the first video of yours that just didn't make me think, it made me feel a lot of stuff. I'm a gay guy, living in a conservative area, and I paint my nails, and present in a non normative way, and in my society, I've had to find a way to be demure and accommodate other people to how I look like and the way I am... That includes my family. When I saw this trend I thought "is it just another tiktok trend?" But sheesh, it's really way deeper than I can put into words. Thank you Kat, for talking about this ❤
It’s the way people think “demure” is such a BIG word that is sending me. Case in point from Selena herself: “I read a lot of literature..” lol, the humble brag
@@a1ntcry1noveru Right? I also thought that was pretty funny. You don't have to be a big reader or read Literature™ to know what the word means.
@@punkuke 😂😂😂😂 it’s hard being an avid fan of Literature™️
Girl this hair ate
I actually haven't heard of this until this video but considering it's only been a week since I was trying to be stealth at an interview and worried sick about it I can definitely see the relatability here
I was inspired to go back and rewatch Paris is Burning. It's been 15 years and still hits so hard and beautifully. Thanks for the considerate and beautiful video. Flowers for everyone
Go, Jools!
I appreciate learning Jools' name bc I could see the term getting away from her and I wanted her to get her flowers. Thanks for staying in this for the POC girlies.
So glad that trademark debacle sorted out. Y’know that Jefferson guy was gonna b the internet’s target if it went on. I hope it sets a precedent.
Even as a white trans woman I relate to a lot of what you associated with the trend initially in my experience as a trans woman in public
The hairstyle you're wearing is so complimenting to you!
Is that a heart from the medieval torture museum?! I was there Wednesday! Lol 💚✨
Yes lol
to me there's a difference between being demure/petite/taking up less space vs being/demure/mindful/cutesy. I am an Indian cis woman. A lot of us are expected and socialised to be quiet, demure, signalling submission. That rubs me the wrong way, sorry. On the other hand, a big girl just talking about being mindful i can get behind!
The intro was so funny, loved the excessive sword noises 😂
Also as a random man from Washington state, we do not claim that man 😂😂
It's hard to claim ownership of a meme, and harder still to claim a word. It seems this Selena person is jealous of the success Jules has had, which seems quite typical of people who make fatphobic statements.
It really always comes back to Paris is Burning. It wasn't the first film of its kind but it was the most important. I think you did a video specifically about it years ago.
I haven't seen it since it was new because it's personally devastating. Some of the women, queens, and/or others who appeared in it were friends of mine and, well, you know what was happening. Apart from Miss Major everyone I knew or met from that era is dead. If I hadn't fled the country in grief by then I might have had a cameo in the seminal ball culture movie. I imagine I'd probably be in a corner drinking absinthe with a couple other goths.
Seeing people saying demure: 🥰
Seeing Jimmy Fallon say demure: 😷
The intro has me cracking up 😂
When the katana randomly came out I legit spit my water from laughter
10:50 ehh I used to follow Selena when I had a tik tok. I don't think jools took anything from her
It's interesting, because I thought Jools was using "demure" genuinely and the other creator ironically. But I still agree that it wasnt exactly "copied" idk
I can't get over this hairstyle on you SO gorg ❤️❤️
Damn you saying they’re “obviously” joking or being serious-I DIDN’T KNOW?? I CAN’T TELL 😭 I’m too autistic for this shit man
I have commented on like five comments so far who are saying the exact same thing 😂. Going into this video I was actually excited to see a black woman possibly critique the idea that a woman of color needs to tone it down in order to go to work, only to find that the video itself was satirical the whole time 😭.
Exactly what I was thinking 😂
love the hotelier pfp 🖤
@@3mmanuela709 tyty 💗
So happy for Jools. The Internet is really good sometimes.
Not as powerful as the lumpfish army. Very beautiful. Very powerful.
Even Fran Fine used the word "demure" in The Nanny when she told Maxwell she would be quieter in bed 😀Some words are used in certain contexts that fit their meaning, and some people find out that some of these contexts can be very funny. Claiming ownership over word is bizzare to me.
😂 the opening to this video is so good. tysm, Kat! 💖
Stealing someone's intellectual property is so brazen. So oblivious!
I think it's more the mindfulness we learned along the way
I'm not very online and have just seen it written down til now, but hearing her perform it has made me actually enjoy it. Until now I have just felt a little weird seeing the word demure around so much because it just gives me associations to those old timey "how proper girls should act" books from pre 1950 etc and I am not on top of memes anymore so it was very out of left field with no context, haha. She seems so sweet and tongue in cheek with it in the tiktok, though, and I hope she enjoys all the success.
Trademarking that phrase before her is so NASTY. I was too neurodivergent to understand it was satire until now lmao but I love this for her!! She was smart about it and I respect a marketing girlboss 💅🏾
I love Kat's hair. And, I listened to her entire essay.
Ikr, I just can’t get OVER it 🥹
FINALLY, someone explained the context behind the meme in a satisfactory manner.
Edit: I love Selyna's videos too.
i read your article about this on your website, it was great, can’t wait to watch the video
Love the video. Also, love your “charmed” vibe in the thumbnail
Kat Blaque is the most demure I think.
Good for her!! ❤ That was sort of a rollercoaster by the end 😭
After hearing the thing about diet coke, I think I'm gonna start calling my diabetes management "very demure, very mindful."
Demure mean modest, sober, settled, respecting decorum, discreet, quiet, well behaved (usually describing a woman)... what does being petite has to do with it?
It's the original context Venus explained. To her clients her value was being smaller and quieter than them. Both in size and presence. Had she been bigger or louder, she wouldn't have as much success in her field.
@@cats1970 I understood that when her story was brought up but smallness has nothing to do with the word demure, so the other influencer focusing on it didn't make sense.
@@hydraianI think many people would associate those things with skinny women because by default fat women are seen as less modest, less feminine, too loud, brash, having no decorum, slobbish etc.. If someone is fatphobic, they see fatness as something deeply unseemly that is not compatible with any positive attributes.
So, while being petite doesn't actually have anything to do with being demure in reality, people are more likely to perceive you as such if you are a skinny person - there's also a similar phenomenon with breast size too, though that's often still compounded with fatphobia. I do believe Selyna is fatphobic and views fat women as being unable to achieve demure-ness in the same way that she is able to. Also, I honestly think she just wanted to brag about being skinny/skinnier than Jools.
@@punkuke that is sad and so untrue.
I truly love this for her! I hope this lasts as long as possible
Screaming, waving my arms, jumping up and down: MEEEEE! IT'S MEEEEE! I AM THE MOST DEMURE!!!!
Barely relevant tangent here, but I never understood criticizing people for getting a diet soda with a meal that's considered unhealthy. In my mind if you're trying to be aware of your intake of less healthful foods, getting a calorie/sugar free drink with a meal that's already a bit of treat by itself just makes sense. And the attitude that having diet soda with pizza or a burger or whatever is hypocritical depends entirely on the assumption that diet soda is a healthy drink. It's not, it's just debatably, marginally less bad than regular soda. Depending on each individual's dietary needs of course.
Not me, also quoting Venus when I was down to 128 lbs constantly to the point where my partner also did, therefore when he heard the "demure and mindful" it even clicked with him lmfao.
somehow, some guy hopping onto the trademark instantly reminds me of the rich people who buy multiple homes that stay vacant most of the year while housing crisis happens
"You always did make me choke" GIRL 😭😂
I’m so happy for her!!!