Another rule that my parents have adopted that I try to use as well with any conflicts in my life is this: Don't use "always" or "never" statements. For example, it's hurtful to say "You ALWAYS stay out too late" or "You NEVER help out with chores at home". Instead we try to use words (that include "I" statements too!) like "I appreciate so much the times that you help out with chores at home, and it would make me so happy if you would do that more regularly" or "I feel like you stay out late fairly often and I miss you when you're gone. Is there a way I could help you manage home and social life more evenly?" This kind of change in words is so effective and so helpful in not putting the other person on the defensive!
Oh that is SO GOOD!!! Such a good rule in conflict!! Wow, it sounds like your parents have been able to find some amazing ways to communicate. I'm going to keep these examples in mind for when I have kids too!! :):) Thanks for sharing!
You probably dont give a damn but does someone know of a tool to log back into an Instagram account?? I stupidly lost the password. I would love any help you can give me!
Things that help my husband and I with conflict: 1. Remember we are in the same team and we are not opponents. 2. Even when we are mad don’t leave the room and work it out. 3. Pray in my spirit as we are having an argument to have God intervene. 4. After the argument is worked out come together and praise God through prayer. 5. Thank your spouse for being understanding ❤️
I know you say, “I hope this videos help you girls,” but Gosh they are so encouraging and comforting for me as a man. Thank you both!! I feel like I’m in a counseling session watching your videos. I’m receiving healing in my heart and soul♥️
Love you guys!!! I love it when you bring James into the video, it's so cool how comfortable he is with the camera and that he's willing to partner with you in your ministry. ☺
I agree!!! He's the best. I'm so thankful he's willing to do this -- and it's so nice that he's comfortable on camera like you said!! :):):) Thank you so much for the encouragement too!
@@TiffanyDawn thank you for making these videos. you've got some wise counsel to give and I appreciate you doing it. Of course I'm including your husband and his insights too. One other thing you can do when you need some counseling when you're not able to resolve things on your own is ask Jesus and he will answer you if you ask with full intent. Of course actually the first thing to do is to pray about it and ask him for his help, whether you pray together or pray separately he will answer. I would appreciate if you did not have background music because it makes it hard for me to hear you. In some of your videos when you have some advice in a box to the left I have a hard time reading all of it before it disappears. But whatever you do please keep your videos coming, they're such a blessing to me.
These are so practical and helpful !! 🙌🏽👌🏽💯 especially respecting that your partner isn’t emotionally ready yet to resolve the conflict. When things get heated , my hubby and I have a 20 min rule where we take 20 mins to think and pray (sometimes longer, but we have to communicate it) and then come back together .
So true. The sign of an absolute self centered child is the need to vent a conflict in the moment even if it's in front of everyone. So disrespectful to the other person and the others in your presence.
Learn how your spouse expresses love and hurt feeling. Dialog is important but remember some people need to take a walk or cool off before you talk. Allow them to deal with it in both of your timing.
Oh yep silent treatment from my ex resolved so many issues I'd say what's wrong he'd say nothing and walk around all stressed and mad. One more thing I think is childish couples involving others in the issue before going to each other and fixing the issue or solving it together.
You guys are an inspiration! I seek a Godly marriage someday, hopefully soon, and I very much like the idea that conflict is normal, healthy, and brings people closer, if handled well. I seek to make myself aware and good at approaching conflict with the right mindset so as to benefit my life now, and prepare for a future marriage. Thanks for your tips and pointers. I hope you continue to share the wisdom and direction God has given you regarding topics like this. Thank you! -Amarah
THANK YOU!! I've been so hesitant towards getting into a relationship for years because of conflict. My parents, up until a year or so ago, weren't too good at handling conflicts in a beneficial way. So their newfound tips as well as these are SO helpful!
That's amazing your parents have been able to work on their conflict and communication! Was there any one thing that was really life-changing for them, or that you think is really insightful? If so, I'd love to hear! :)
This was recommended today and so.... I'm like okay I'll watch. Very good information and I agree. Also keep your business off of social media, taking jabs at each other on social media and sharing your business with everyone doesn't help. I'm very private especially with the understanding that not everyone wants things to go well for you. I enjoyed this!
Well said Rolaine. Marriage is not rainbows and butterflies every day of the week. Understanding this simple truth is what helps couples overcome adversity. Fault-finding is always easy, but growing and learning together is where the hard work of marriage begins. th-cam.com/video/Ez_FctfKWPk/w-d-xo.html
Hello! I love watching your videos, this was another great conversation about marriage. I'm not sure if God will bless me with marriage one day, but if He choose to, I would want to remember this great advice. Thanks for caring and sharing. God bless you both.🙏🏼🇿🇦
I have friends that are a married couple and they’ve argued in front of me a few times, it’s been a good learning experience for me but I’ve learnt now to walk away til they’re done 😂
Hi, I recently ended a relationship 3 months ago. One of the reasons why we broke up was due to his thoughts about resentment. This conversation came up because I asked him if he budget for all the activities he is involved in (golf,skying, rock climbing). He has a lot of debt and I was concerned about his budgeting skills.He told me in the future he might resent me. And he stated, in the future, if he is in his death bed he doesn't want to have regrets on activties he hasn't done. I told him resentment is unhealthy in a relationships and in marriage. But, he disagreed and he said he resents friends and family sometimes and that its healthy. What are your thoughts? Is resentment healthy/unhealthy? Why?
Great video guys! I noticed whilst watching that James seems to share a similar problem to me. In all our couple selfies I'm always looking the wrong way but my hubby's gaze is perfectly centred - I just cannot find the point I'm supposed to look at, it's good to know I'm not alone 😂
So perfect! I feel like life is great. Wouldn't do anything different on our anniversary. I'm such a basic guy. Lol. So wrong. She needs to have a special day to feel special. (Binge watching your channel!)
How can you repair damages that were verbally said that may have hurt your partner in the past without him/her having to bring it up and mentioning it in a completely different disagreement/argument? Doesn't that mean your partner is holding a grudge towards you?
Great question! And yeah it seems like if they really forgave you for what u said then they wouldn't feel the need to bring it up again. And throw it in ur face
@@dingotomtom Heck I know some people like that very well. They say they forgive yet when a fuss come around the first thing throw"d up is you said or done this 20+ years ago.
My wife got a parrot to keep her company while I was away on trips. She taught it to talk a little! It could say ," Hurry under the Bed!" "My husbands home!"
If you find your conversations get off track write down the points that are important to you before the conversation. Also, know that two people will sometimes not agree and that is okay.
When I first met my boyfriend he smoked weed and drank like an alcoholic. He found Christ with me and everything was amazing. Up until our 2 year he snuck a vape, and has been drinking with his friends and it is hurting me so much. I’ve found myself closer to god now more than ever. He’s stopped going to church, he doesn’t read the Bible with me, or even encourage me in our faith. There’s allot more, but he said that I can’t change him just because I don’t like drinking. I need some help please, I love him and at one point considered marriage. It’s been months that I’ve been hoping he’d change. We also spend no time together at all anymore It will be more than a week sometimes that I see him just because he doesn’t want to make an effort out to my house
To be honest? Some people always told me Christian marriage is perfect better than worldly marriage when you see it's no difference they go through the same thing it's like wow!
My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We argue quite a bit about very stupid things. I am very stubborn and I am hardheaded about things. He gets very angry quickly and uses hurtful words/names. I don't like to admit when I'm wrong while he's getting angry and raising his voice. We are trying to figure out arguments Biblically, but I read the Bible more than he does. Its very difficult.
Do you have the study you read that fact about women processing emotions faster? I'm trying to find a study of some sorts ahah I told someone about that but I wanted to check my resources ahaha
What would u suggest if u say when u did blank I took it as blank as the person says ur too sensitive or sorry u felt that way. I know wait til the right time but any other suggestions? I must say this is between an adult child living with a single adult.
Oh wow, that's such a good and hard question!! I don't know that I have a good answer for that, but this is what comes to mind: I think there are definitely times, whether in marriage or friendship or I'm sure in parenting too (although I don't know anything about that yet!😂) when the other person isn't able, or perhaps isn't willing, to hear what we have to share. And that would be so hard! In those moments, I wonder if maybe prayer is the best way to go. Prayer that God would continue working in both your hearts, and also prayer that God would help you see that He knows and sees all that you're going through, and He loves you. I've seen God work miracles through prayer (even though they usually take longer than I'd like at the time - haha), but I've also seen Him come so much closer to me and reveal Himself to me more through prayer. Also, I think having someone you trust, who's really wise, to process that situation with, and ask for feedback, can be really helpful. I hope that helps in some way. I'm praying for you! ❤️
Another rule that my parents have adopted that I try to use as well with any conflicts in my life is this: Don't use "always" or "never" statements. For example, it's hurtful to say "You ALWAYS stay out too late" or "You NEVER help out with chores at home". Instead we try to use words (that include "I" statements too!) like "I appreciate so much the times that you help out with chores at home, and it would make me so happy if you would do that more regularly" or "I feel like you stay out late fairly often and I miss you when you're gone. Is there a way I could help you manage home and social life more evenly?" This kind of change in words is so effective and so helpful in not putting the other person on the defensive!
Oh that is SO GOOD!!! Such a good rule in conflict!! Wow, it sounds like your parents have been able to find some amazing ways to communicate. I'm going to keep these examples in mind for when I have kids too!! :):) Thanks for sharing!
You probably dont give a damn but does someone know of a tool to log back into an Instagram account??
I stupidly lost the password. I would love any help you can give me!
Tiffany. Your hair is so cute like that!
Thank you!! :):):)
Agreed :) So pretty!
I know it’s nothing to do with looks and all about the Lord, but man, Tiffany’s hair is always awesome and bang on point!
@@TiffanyDawn do you have (or maybe plan to do) videos on your channel on how you do your hair?
Things that help my husband and I with conflict:
1. Remember we are in the same team and we are not opponents.
2. Even when we are mad don’t leave the room and work it out.
3. Pray in my spirit as we are having an argument to have God intervene.
4. After the argument is worked out come together and praise God through prayer.
5. Thank your spouse for being understanding ❤️
These are amazing tips!! Thank you for sharing!
There are not many Godly examples of a marriage these days.
I know you say, “I hope this videos help you girls,” but Gosh they are so encouraging and comforting for me as a man. Thank you both!! I feel like I’m in a counseling session watching your videos. I’m receiving healing in my heart and soul♥️
That is so encouraging!!! Thank you for sharing that!
Love you guys!!! I love it when you bring James into the video, it's so cool how comfortable he is with the camera and that he's willing to partner with you in your ministry. ☺
I agree!!! He's the best. I'm so thankful he's willing to do this -- and it's so nice that he's comfortable on camera like you said!! :):):) Thank you so much for the encouragement too!
@@TiffanyDawn thank you for making these videos. you've got some wise counsel to give and I appreciate you doing it. Of course I'm including your husband and his insights too. One other thing you can do when you need some counseling when you're not able to resolve things on your own is ask Jesus and he will answer you if you ask with full intent. Of course actually the first thing to do is to pray about it and ask him for his help, whether you pray together or pray separately he will answer. I would appreciate if you did not have background music because it makes it hard for me to hear you. In some of your videos when you have some advice in a box to the left I have a hard time reading all of it before it disappears. But whatever you do please keep your videos coming, they're such a blessing to me.
These are so practical and helpful !! 🙌🏽👌🏽💯 especially respecting that your partner isn’t emotionally ready yet to resolve the conflict. When things get heated , my hubby and I have a 20 min rule where we take 20 mins to think and pray (sometimes longer, but we have to communicate it) and then come back together .
What a great idea! Love the 20 minute rule!
So true. The sign of an absolute self centered child is the need to vent a conflict in the moment even if it's in front of everyone. So disrespectful to the other person and the others in your presence.
Learn how your spouse expresses love and hurt feeling. Dialog is important but remember some people need to take a walk or cool off before you talk. Allow them to deal with it in both of your timing.
Hint to hubby: EVERY anniversary is special and should be celebrated 😉💕
Heres how Italians handle it: screaming, shit thrown n breaks n the cops are called lol..gotta love it
Oh yep silent treatment from my ex resolved so many issues I'd say what's wrong he'd say nothing and walk around all stressed and mad. One more thing I think is childish couples involving others in the issue before going to each other and fixing the issue or solving it together.
You guys are an inspiration! I seek a Godly marriage someday, hopefully soon, and I very much like the idea that conflict is normal, healthy, and brings people closer, if handled well. I seek to make myself aware and good at approaching conflict with the right mindset so as to benefit my life now, and prepare for a future marriage. Thanks for your tips and pointers. I hope you continue to share the wisdom and direction God has given you regarding topics like this. Thank you!
-Amarah
THANK YOU!! I've been so hesitant towards getting into a relationship for years because of conflict. My parents, up until a year or so ago, weren't too good at handling conflicts in a beneficial way. So their newfound tips as well as these are SO helpful!
That's amazing your parents have been able to work on their conflict and communication! Was there any one thing that was really life-changing for them, or that you think is really insightful? If so, I'd love to hear! :)
The way she’s looking at him🥺🥺💞
James is a blessed man, you are so pretty. There's nothing as precious as a Godly woman.
This was recommended today and so.... I'm like okay I'll watch. Very good information and I agree. Also keep your business off of social media, taking jabs at each other on social media and sharing your business with everyone doesn't help. I'm very private especially with the understanding that not everyone wants things to go well for you. I enjoyed this!
If we must share, pray and ask the Lord who to share with. I actually did enjoy this. Not yet married but I will use all of these tips.
Oooh how I'm learning the whole social media thing
Well said Rolaine. Marriage is not rainbows and butterflies every day of the week. Understanding this simple truth is what helps couples overcome adversity. Fault-finding is always easy, but growing and learning together is where the hard work of marriage begins.
th-cam.com/video/Ez_FctfKWPk/w-d-xo.html
Hello! I love watching your videos, this was another great conversation about marriage. I'm not sure if God will bless me with marriage one day, but if He choose to, I would want to remember this great advice. Thanks for caring and sharing. God bless you both.🙏🏼🇿🇦
Such a wonderful video! I've definitely been guilty of some of these, it's nice to understand the guys perspective when it comes to conflict
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! It's amazing how different guys' and girls' perspectives can be! 😂
You guys are so good. I dont know if you even realize it !
Your hair looks amazing in this video Tiffany👍🏼
Awww thank you!!!
I have friends that are a married couple and they’ve argued in front of me a few times, it’s been a good learning experience for me but I’ve learnt now to walk away til they’re done 😂
I feel like no one talks about this enough! Thank you for making this video :)
I love love love this video! My husband and I are coming up on our 1st anniversary 😁. It's been an adventure.
My Wife and I are in the marriage ministry as well and I truly enjoy your videos.... we can NEVER stop learning how to better our marriages
th-cam.com/video/7O2yN9iGutw/w-d-xo.html
These videos are EXTREMELY well done. Loving the thoroughly explained points. Can I just say it is so helpful!
Thanks for being so genuine and open when discussing these topics. It's truly helpful! ❤
Hi, I recently ended a relationship 3 months ago. One of the reasons why we broke up was due to his thoughts about resentment. This conversation came up because I asked him if he budget for all the activities he is involved in (golf,skying, rock climbing). He has a lot of debt and I was concerned about his budgeting skills.He told me in the future he might resent me. And he stated, in the future, if he is in his death bed he doesn't want to have regrets on activties he hasn't done. I told him resentment is unhealthy in a relationships and in marriage. But, he disagreed and he said he resents friends and family sometimes and that its healthy. What are your thoughts? Is resentment healthy/unhealthy? Why?
I looooovvvvve your hair and earrings and your shirt! And your channel!
Great video guys! I noticed whilst watching that James seems to share a similar problem to me. In all our couple selfies I'm always looking the wrong way but my hubby's gaze is perfectly centred - I just cannot find the point I'm supposed to look at, it's good to know I'm not alone 😂
Hahahahaha!!! Yes!! We noticed that after filming. I'm glad it's not just us! :)
So perfect! I feel like life is great. Wouldn't do anything different on our anniversary. I'm such a basic guy. Lol. So wrong. She needs to have a special day to feel special. (Binge watching your channel!)
This is a great video! :) So helpful!
How can you repair damages that were verbally said that may have hurt your partner in the past without him/her having to bring it up and mentioning it in a completely different disagreement/argument? Doesn't that mean your partner is holding a grudge towards you?
Great question! And yeah it seems like if they really forgave you for what u said then they wouldn't feel the need to bring it up again. And throw it in ur face
@@dingotomtom Heck I know some people like that very well. They say they forgive yet when a fuss come around the first thing throw"d up is you said or done this 20+ years ago.
Awesome hair Tiffany!!!
Nice tips,thank you...
My wife got a parrot to keep her company while I was away on trips. She taught it to talk a little! It could say ," Hurry under the Bed!" "My husbands home!"
If you find your conversations get off track write down the points that are important to you before the conversation. Also, know that two people will sometimes not agree and that is okay.
Thank you so much for this 💛
I just realized the way he talks reminds me of Kirk cameron
Very helpful if I ever get married.
Yes amazing advice! 🙏
Lol your videos always make me smile.
You guys make a beautiful couple
this video is soo helpful thank you soo much!
Aaah Tiffany you're so pretty 😍
Read the seven love languages. Awesome book.
Loved this video!
I'm so glad!! :):):)
This is so good :)
My wife had loose morals in high school! She was picked up so much she grew handles!
When I first met my boyfriend he smoked weed and drank like an alcoholic. He found Christ with me and everything was amazing. Up until our 2 year he snuck a vape, and has been drinking with his friends and it is hurting me so much. I’ve found myself closer to god now more than ever. He’s stopped going to church, he doesn’t read the Bible with me, or even encourage me in our faith. There’s allot more, but he said that I can’t change him just because I don’t like drinking.
I need some help please, I love him and at one point considered marriage. It’s been months that I’ve been hoping he’d change. We also spend no time together at all anymore
It will be more than a week sometimes that I see him just because he doesn’t want to make an effort out to my house
This is so great and so true
❤️so helpful !
To be honest? Some people always told me Christian marriage is perfect better than worldly marriage when you see it's no difference they go through the same thing it's like wow!
My girlfriend do this ALL THE TIME!!
My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We argue quite a bit about very stupid things. I am very stubborn and I am hardheaded about things. He gets very angry quickly and uses hurtful words/names. I don't like to admit when I'm wrong while he's getting angry and raising his voice. We are trying to figure out arguments Biblically, but I read the Bible more than he does. Its very difficult.
beautiful couple
My wife likes to go fishing ! She took me with her once! But I had to swim back!
Do you have the study you read that fact about women processing emotions faster? I'm trying to find a study of some sorts ahah I told someone about that but I wanted to check my resources ahaha
What would u suggest if u say when u did blank I took it as blank as the person says ur too sensitive or sorry u felt that way. I know wait til the right time but any other suggestions? I must say this is between an adult child living with a single adult.
Oh wow, that's such a good and hard question!! I don't know that I have a good answer for that, but this is what comes to mind: I think there are definitely times, whether in marriage or friendship or I'm sure in parenting too (although I don't know anything about that yet!😂) when the other person isn't able, or perhaps isn't willing, to hear what we have to share. And that would be so hard! In those moments, I wonder if maybe prayer is the best way to go. Prayer that God would continue working in both your hearts, and also prayer that God would help you see that He knows and sees all that you're going through, and He loves you. I've seen God work miracles through prayer (even though they usually take longer than I'd like at the time - haha), but I've also seen Him come so much closer to me and reveal Himself to me more through prayer. Also, I think having someone you trust, who's really wise, to process that situation with, and ask for feedback, can be really helpful. I hope that helps in some way. I'm praying for you! ❤️
Wow man, you look like Yahya Bakkar :)
Oh my gosh he kind of does! Especially the smile!! That's too funny!
My wife always screams during sex! Especially if I walk in!
Lololol
For anyone watching now: men and women talk the same amount roughly. That was just a myth.
I agree. And sometimes my husband talks way more than me
Thank you for these videos y'all